#tw ableist language

[he-who-writes]

If you’re going to write someone with NPD, do more research. This is a “narcissistic” (big emphasis on the quotation marks) character, a caricature of an actual disorder that doesn’t need more stigmatization and vilification in the media. We need more characters with NPD who are good. Who are part of the story not as an antagonist. And we need to stop demonizing mental health conditions that we find “unacceptable” like NPD and ASPD.

Writing a "Narcissistic" Character

Narcissist - an entitled and sometimes arrogant and manipulative person who primarily views other people as means to their own ends.

Some narcissists might come across as unpleasant, but others are charismatic and engaging until you cross them.

A covert narcissist like this might shift from acting like a charming adult to throwing a temper tantrum when they realize you won’t give in to their demands.

You might find you encounter more narcissists in fields centered around competition or winning.

For example, a well-meaning entrepreneur might come across a competitor or colleague with an extremely inflated sense of self—and this might present speed bumps for both parties.

Similarly, family law and divorce lawyers come across many people exhibiting narcissistic traits in their personal lives and must negotiate with that in mind.

As a caveat, although you might be able to accurately theorize as to whether or not someone possesses narcissistic tendencies, you should leave diagnosing someone with an actual narcissistic personality disorder to a professional.

Key Narcissistic Traits

You can spot narcissistic traits if you know what to look for specifically. Some qualities to keep in mind to identify narcissism:

Innate sense of entitlement: Everyone wants things to go their way if possible, but narcissists expect them to at all times and at all costs. The average person is willing to compromise and anticipates delayed rather than instant gratification in many scenarios. A narcissist, by contrast, expects everyone to be a willing contributor to their happiness all day, every day, no matter the extenuating circumstances. Psychologists call this endless drive for gratification at the expense of others “narcissistic supply.”

Inflated view of self: It’s one thing to be confident, it’s quite another to think you’re the most important person in the room at all times. Someone with narcissistic tendencies expects everyone to treat them like a king or queen. They often fall into delusions of grandeur and bouts of self-mythologizing to justify why people need to bow to their whims at all times.

Lack of empathy: Narcissistic abuse is common due to the lack of empathy such an attitude engenders. When someone considers their needs above anyone else’s, it makes them less likely to understand other people and more likely to hurt others to get what they want.

Prone toward manipulation: If you’re dealing with a narcissist, expect them to pull out manipulative tricks to get you to do what they want. This might mean gaslighting, belittling, or outright lying to you in the interest of throwing you off balance and getting you to succumb to their demands.

How to Negotiate With a Narcissist

Navigating the negotiation process with a narcissist might be difficult, but it’s definitely doable. Remember these tips as you advocate for yourself with someone who cares more about their own ego:

Iron out concrete details. Before entering a negotiation scenario with a narcissist, sit down and ask what you want out of the negotiations. Try journaling or filling out a worksheet to help you figure out your needs. You can also rely on third parties to help you do this more effectively. For example, if you’re trying to leave a narcissistic spouse, your divorce attorney can assist on this front.

Play to their narcissistic tendencies. To get what you want from a narcissist, sometimes you have to give them what they desire most: adoration. Of course, you can merely feign this sense of awe—stroking their ego with the knowledge you’re only doing so as a negotiation tactic. For example, suppose you’re in law school dealing with a narcissistic professor who has a track record of grading final exams unfairly unless a student praises their teaching. In this scenario, you could tell them you appreciated their lecture or you listened to their podcast as you leave class one day to get them on your side.

Practice emotional detachment. Negotiating with a narcissist can get ugly. Devaluing and abusing other people is one of the central tools in a narcissist’s arsenal. Especially if you’re in an emotional situation already—like a divorce case—it’s paramount to try to practice as much mindful detachment as you can. Remind yourself their words do not define you or reflect reality. For that matter, in this scenario, you can also rely in part on other parties to do your negotiating for you—that’s a major reason people pay attorney’s fees in the first place.

Stand your ground. Even if you grit your teeth and stroke a narcissist’s ego to get a concession at times, it’s important to stand your ground and maintain your sense of self. Always negotiate like you matter—because you do, regardless of any abuse they might hurl your way. Narcissists, at their root, are often very insecure—and your self-awareness and confidence can trump these insecurities in a negotiation scenario. Remind yourself you are strong and your own well-being is your first priority—this way, you can leave interactions like this knowing your pride and your feelings of self-worth are still intact.

Source ⚜ More: Writing Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

[ezrazwrldz]

stop saying “differently abled”

stop saying “acoustic”

stop saying “restarted”

stop saying “retarded”

stop saying “special”

stop saying “spesh”

stop saying “just different”

we. are. autistic.

stop treating us like this.

[zebulontheplanet]

Just a reminder that people who still live with their parents as adults deserve respect and for you to stop being ableist. There are multiple reasons someone could still live with their parents! From invisible to visible disabilities, finance issues, and more!

Stop using the “well they’re gonna turn into a creep living in their parents basement” punchline! It’s disgusting. STOP. BEING. ABLEIST. STOP. FORGETTING. THE. POOR.

[everythingwasnormalhere]

There's so much wrong with "everyone is a little bit autistic"

Yes, allistic people might know a lot of facts about the things they like. Yes, allistic people might get a bit overwhelmed or underwhelmed sometimes. Yes, allistic people might not get an expression sometimes, mostly if it's the first time they hear it.

That doesn't make them autistic.

Those traits only make someone autistic when they become disabling. Because, big shock, autism is a disability. Yeah, even if someone is low support needs, because that doesn't mean they don't need any support at all.

Saying "everyone is a little bit autistic" is like saying "everyone struggles with this, so suck it up, you have no right to need help". Which is just pure ableist bullshit. It denies the fact that autistic people have higher support needs than NTs, no matter where in the autistic spectrum they are. We're not "neurospicy", we're disabled, and denying this fact is denying us the right to get the help we need, we deserve, to have a good life.

(yes, this rant is just because I made the awful decision of listening to "neurospicy (interlude)" by Jax. honestly I'd rather be called a slur than listen to that shit again.)

[heyiappreciateyourshoelaces]

[gutsygremlin]

I hate hate hate hate HATE that most of the time when I’m searching for info on autism the results always regard autistic children and are written by allistic adults for allistic parents who hate autistic children

Like I’m just going “hehe hey google do other autistic people sensory seek in carbonated drinks” and Google is like “DUMB STUPID LITTLE AUTISTIC BABIES REALLY LIKE DRINKING DUMB STUPID LITTLE AUTISTIC DRINKS LIKE SPRITE AND COKE BECAUSE THEY’RE DUMB STUPID LITTLE AUTISTIC BABIES!!!!!”

Best friend. The autistic kids you’re writing about so unkindly are going to become adults. And they’re going to be unhappy when they read that shit.

[66kenobi66]

Now all the ableism in Helluva is terrible but this one gets to me specifically>>>

T/CW: Ableism, R-Slur

I think it's because there WAS a joke that could of worked here. She's a nurse in the Sloth ring so maybe she's stalling and acting dumb because she's just lazy and doesn't wanna do her job.

BUT NO!

They had to turn it into yet another joke about how all mentally disabled people are just a bunch of useless retards who can't do anything but drool all over themselves and waste everyone's time like the helpless things they are.

Hell, they almost had Blitz call her a retard but they pussied out at the last moment because "Ha-ha, he almost called this random woman a retard because she can't read! Ableism is so funny and cute and cool!! Disabled people don't deserve basic respect!!! 😂🤣😋"

Sorry this has just been bugging me and I needed to get my anger out :/

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I made a show that had a depiction of depression and how it would realistically effect characters but everyone kept commenting, "Why doesn't Layla have a 16 step skincare routine? This is bad women's representation. 😤"

[pixie-dvsst]

Okay, this shit has gone way too far

you've probably seen these posts going around

Well I've decided to adress these claims

TW: mentions of harrasment, mentions of the Palestinian genocide, slurs and ableist language

Unfortunately, these are all lies

Angry doesn't even begin to describe how I'm feeling rn

Not only are these people spreading lies and misinformation, they are also setting me and these people up for harassment (some of the blogs mentioned are run by literal MINORS). Not to mention that sone of these blogs (including mine) have NEVER interacted with Nirmal before.

Also it's so funny that Nirmal claims that SHE'S the one being harassed when she's out ther calling people literal SLURS (last time I checked, she called Senja an "r-slured cunt who assumes things'').

On top of this, she spreads misinformation about asks from Palestinians, claiming they're "scams". First of all, how does she even know that they're scams? Second of all, why would Palestinians send these asks just to scam people. I highly doubt victims of the ongoing genocide would beg for money just for ✨funsies✨. Not to mention her overall shitty behaviour.

So there. I really do not appreciate lies being spread about me and my friends. I genuinely hope people see the truth.

(Also PLEASE do not harass any of the blogs mentioned. Just block and move on👍)

[alexandraisyes]

In light of the recent ableism on my feed, I'd like to reiterate that I am a clinical sociopath, I have traumagenic ASPD, and I'm not ashamed of it because it's out of my control. It's as much a neurodivergent disability as autism/ADHD/OCD/etc is, and people with ASPD deserve as much respect as anyone else. Here's some key ohrases that are considered ableistic language when referring to someone who has ASPD.

"You're a psychopath" or "You're a sociopath" - These terms are often thrown around casually or used as insults, which stigmatizes and oversimplifies complex mental health conditions. This one is the only really tricky one, because you shouldn't assume what strain of ASPD someone has, nor should you apply it to someone who doesn't have ASPD. You can call someone with ASPD a socio/psychopath as long as it's not in a derogatory manner and they have confirmed they are okay with being referred to as such (like myself).

"You have no empathy" - While reduced empathy can be a characteristic of ASPD, using this as a blanket statement can be dehumanizing and dismissive.

"You're just evil" - Labeling someone as inherently evil because of their condition contributes to harmful stereotypes.

"People like you can't change" - This phrase reinforces the misconception that individuals with ASPD are incapable of personal growth or improvement.

"You're dangerous" - Assuming that everyone with ASPD is violent or a threat to others perpetuates fear and stigma.

"You don't care about anyone but yourself" - This phrase reduces the person to a stereotype and ignores the nuances of their experiences and behaviors.

"You're just a manipulator" - This phrase reduces complex behaviors to a negative stereotype, ignoring the underlying struggles that someone with ASPD might face.

"You must be a criminal" - Associating ASPD with criminal behavior reinforces harmful stereotypes and ignores the diversity of individuals with the disorder.

"You're heartless" - This phrase dehumanizes the person and dismisses any capacity for emotional depth or connection.

"You can't be trusted" - Assuming that someone with ASPD is inherently untrustworthy is unfair and contributes to social isolation.

"You don't have a conscience" - This phrase oversimplifies the nature of ASPD and ignores the complexities of morality and behavior in individuals with the condition.

"People like you are born bad" - This statement implies that individuals with ASPD are inherently flawed or evil from birth, which is both stigmatizing and scientifically inaccurate.

"You should be locked up" - Suggesting that someone with ASPD should be institutionalized or incarcerated solely based on their diagnosis promotes fear and discrimination.

"You're incapable of love" - Assuming that someone with ASPD cannot experience or express love is reductive and perpetuates harmful myths.

"You have no morals" - This statement unfairly labels individuals with ASPD as completely lacking in ethical principles, ignoring the complexities of their experiences. Morals are things humans are taught, not things we are born with.

Assuming any of these things about somoene with ASPD that you don't personally know is just as ableist as assuming someoneyou don't know who has autism does or doesn't need accommodations based on how "normal" they seem to you (just an example).

Don't be ableist.

[nando161mando]

[delphientropy]

why is tiktok obsessed with the word delusional

i keep coming across "looking at the unsent project and putting in my name and being delusional thinking people are writing to me" genuinely shut the fuck up.

delusions are a fucking mentally ill symptom that can genuinely harm you. stop taking away its legitimacy and shut the fuck up im so pissed

WE have delusions, ones that actually make us upset or freak us out. and it pisses me off SO bad. i just block instantly. i keep forgetting how normalized this is and it seriously makes me so mad

[keebiecoo]

On the themes of Ableism in Mouthwashing, Daisuke!!! Whatever disabilities you headcannon he has, it is clear the other characters perceive him as disabled, useless, lacking in abilities, etc. & that is so important to his arc. Daisuke, because of how the others perceive him, was treated like a liability, & had his autonomy stripped away throughout the narritive.

Swansea clearly cared for him deeply, & the way he expressed that was ableist. Calling him "a useless ray of goddamn sunshine" was cute, but also shined light on the problems with how Swansea sees him & treats him.

A perfect example is the (in BIG quotation marks) "mercy" killing. Obviously, it was also because he was drunk & panicing & in a terrible situation, but the actual thought process that lead to Swansea "mercy" killing him was all ableism, babey! It wasn't a mercy, & wasn't portrayed as a mercy in the game, Swansea thought it would be, but that's part of the ableism, part of Daisuke losing his autonomy. He wasn't asked, Swansea decided it would be best, because Daisuke was in pain, & he couldn't bear to see him in pain, because he wanted to take that decision off Daisuke's shoulders, because he couldn't imagine Daisuke wanting to try to live, even if his chance of surviving was low, he didn't think it would be worth Daisuke's suffering, even if Daisuke did think it was worth it. He never asked! It was ableism & love combining.

He was constantly talked for, or about, the others withheld information from him, & i have to wonder why, to keep him from worrying? to preserve his innocence? He was the only one who never found out how awful Jimmy was, he was never shown to be uncomfortable with him, in fact he opened up to Jimmy more than the others, would he have done that if he knew to be wary?

I don't mean that Anya needs to tell everyone about her trauma, but Daisuke is also stuck on the ship with this guy, who he still trusts & looks up to, & they never include him in their worries, or Adult Conversations, they never give him a heads up. Jimmy leads him to his death, & he has no reason to question his orders.

He had no choice, no autonomy, no information or warning, all for being "a useless ray of goddamn sunshine."

[zebulontheplanet]

People are so quick to defend and criticize and attack people who say “autistic people aren’t dumb” and then someone else will follow it up by saying “but some are! Intellectually disabled people deserve to be talked about” and that quite frankly, gives me the ick.

Intellectually disabled people aren’t dumb unless they say they are. Grouping all of them into the “dumb” category is harmful. You’re further stigmatizing intellectually disabled people. Some intellectually disabled people are very smart, and like to be called smart, and like to be noticed as that. Some are average, and like to be acknowledged as that. Some are below average, and “dumb” and some like to be acknowledged as that. BUT that is their choice. That is no one’s choice but their own.

Grouping intellectually disabled people into “dumb people” is harmful. Yes, some of us embrace the word, but some of us don’t.

Stop further stigmatizing the disorder. Most people see intellectually disabled people as “dumb”. It’s time to start taking intellectually disabled people into consideration. If someone says something like that? Simply correct them on their ableist and ignorant behavior. Don’t drag intellectually disabled people into the “dumb” category. That isn’t needed.

[russilton]

Yuki needs to be held to account for that slur swiftly and immediately, as an autistic person I feel sick and more than a little heartbroken to see it come from a man who Should👏Know👏Better👏

HOWEVER- people bringing attention to this, keep in the front of your mind are you treating Yuki the same way you treat Max?

For those New to the sport Max called another driver a M****l R***** on radio in a session in 2020. It was the second time he’d used the slur, and despite calls for him to apologise he refused to do so. In fact many people defended him and attributed it to him just being Dutch. Trust me, the disabled people around you fucking notice, and it hurts.

Do not let racial bias make you treat Yuki today with more severity than you treated Max. Hold them both to account till these privileged assholes learn better.

[fatphobiabusters]

is it weird that I sometimes feel like I'm "not fat enough" to feel like I deserve the "fat bodies are beautiful" speech? like....I'm fat, I'm definitely fat, I have a 45 inch waist and an apron belly. but it's "only" a 45in waist....idk...it feels like a dumb thing to feel but here I am...knowing I'm fat but going "but not fat enough to experience fat positivity" especially bc I've been losing weight....sorry for the ramble I've had this thought for a while

I can't mentally translate that number to an idea of what you look like, but I can still answer this regardless. You deserve fat positivity. Your body deserves positivity. You deserve to not hate your body. And this goes for you no matter how fat you are because this goes for all fat people of every size. Even if your mind wants to convince you you're not fat enough to count, guess what? Midsize people deserve fat positivity too. Midsize people deserve to not hate their bodies either. So, whether you're fat or midsize doesn't change the fact that you deserve positivity. If you'd like to try these tips, I have some coping mechanisms that may help you. The first coping mechanism you can try is to add beliefs to your mind rather than subtract. It's not easy to delete that "I'm not deserving of positivity" belief. So, instead, you can tell yourself "Everybody is deserving of positivity" when your mind is trying to drag you down. That new belief helps you out-logic your old belief while not forcing you to pretend that old belief is gone. Another coping mechanism you can try is to write down fat positivity and positive phrases about yourself on sticky notes and put those sticky notes around your apartment/house. You can put some sticky notes on the fridge, on the door, on your dresser, wherever you'll see the sticky notes. Eventually after reading those notes every day for some time, it will become easier to believe what those sticky notes say.

I hope this answer will help you. Your body is already "enough" to deserve love and compassion.

-Mod Worthy