#did stuff

[bpdcodone]

Fr

just found this. This is how DID feels most of the time

-host

[traumagenic-positivity]

i love you aromantic systems!

i love you asexual systems!

i love you aro-ace systems!

i love you systems who prefer qprs!

i love you demisexual systems!

i love you cupioromantic systems!

i love you demiromantic systems!!

i love you systems who are on the aromantic spectrum!

i love you aegosexual systems!

i love you aegoromantic systems!

i love you apothisexual systems!

I love you apothiromantic systems!

i love you aroflux systems!

i love you autoromantic systems!

i love you aceflux systems!

i love you autosexual systems!

i love you desinoromantic systems!

i love you fraysexual systems!

i love you frayromantic systems!

i love you greyromantic systems!

i love you graysexual systems!

i love you lithromantic systems!

i love you lithsexual systems!

i love you quoiromantic systems!

i love you quoisexual systems!

i love you recipromantic systems!

i love you systems!!! <3

[hellhoundzzz]

if I hear "did is rare" [as an argument to why "you can't possibly have it !!"] one more time im going to start fakeclaiming redheads. I swear to god.

[littlest-bugz]

How it feels when your system is trying to make any important decision

[lemony-ink]

reminder that fictives struggling with missing people from source that they have memories with are valid and deserve space and time to process their situation !!!

[arsonanarchyandanxiety]

Friendly reminder that people who have DID/OSDD absolutely CAN be aware that they have it.

Yes, even without professional help. As long as they have done their research, there's no reason they can't come to that conclusion and use labels that are helpful for them.

You can't gatekeep a disorder and a LOT of people don't have access to professional help.

- 💬+🌕 - 🌕🔮👑

[songs-by-the-river]

I really hate seeing others say how they want DID or think it's so cool when they're a singlet cuz why???? Why would you want this??? I genuinely can't comprehend why someone would purposely try to create a system either because this sucks

And don't get me wrong I absolutely love my head mates, I adore Saturn, Astrid and 404 are fucking cool as shit and I love everyone else, even the hurt ones, even our persecutors, but I would give literally anything if it meant I could have my own body away from them, I wish I could be physically detached from Saturn so I could give him actual hugs and kisses, I wish i could go get my own little job maybe at a library or smth simple and quiet, i wish I could look like myself instead of this body.

I just don't understand why anyone would want this

[divinerapturesys]

Welcome to my Ted Talk about AsPD, or Antisocial Personality Disorder, which the internet likes to coin as sociopath 👌🏻 if you don’t like long infodumps about stigmatized mental disorders from someone who is diagnosed, move on.

Quick toxic rundown: People with AsPD are generally characterized as emotionless, violent, manipulative abusers who kill animals and like to make other people their bitches. The biggest pet peeve we have is the emotionless, sadistic and abusive generalization.

Personally, we are highly neurotic, with highs and lows of: depression, frantic drive, self abuse tactics, chronic fear, lapses of rejection, overwhelming over-analyzation, grey area thinking, false goods and false bads, ultimatums, obsessive compulsive behavior, harsh self demands, and irritability.

AsPD is a disorder that is caused primarily (according to current research) by trauma and abuse in childhood; most notably being emotional neglect and absent caregivers that cause a child to have emotional shutdowns and repression episodes in an attempt to self soothe. Primary caregivers who do not bond with their children are also a factor. Children learn how to behave from those around them. If a primary caregiver is emotionally distant and unavailable, children will learn that is normal behavior and that’s how people are. If a primary caregiver does not provide empathy and sympathy during moments of distress and fear, children will learn that aloofness and disregard of others feelings is normal behavior. If a primary caregiver does not keep a child safe, children will learn that they should not prioritize their own safety or the safety of others. You can find my follow up post regarding this here.

Neglected and abused children often act out trying to get attention and help, often acting out in bad ways because they lack the ability to articulate what they’re feeling and what is happening to them. The pipeline for AsPD typically is: Oppositional Defiance Disorder as a child, Conduct Disorder as a teen, AsPD as an adult. There are a lot of warning signs cueing that AsPD is becoming a risk for development, but often kids do not have a support system to help negate it as it’s their support system that is usually a factor in its creation.

Being AsPD is like being an emotional La Croix 70% of the time. If you’re depressed, then it’s like someone in the other room has depression and is telling you about it. The other 30% of the time, if you’re depressed, your brain doesn’t understand how to handle it so it’s an ultimatum between doing something drastic to remove the Trigger or ignoring and dissociating for days on end.

People with AsPD are very good at ignoring things. Honestly it’s problematic as fuck but it’s not hard to ignore major issues when you just, don’t care. It’s not in the terms of being cruel or making ourselves not care, but the fact that finding the emotional willpower is so far out of our feasible reach we don’t do it. This causes us to piss people off because we don’t have the capacity to care as much as they want us to, even if we can and do to an extent.

Think of it this way: empathy/sympathy is a deep tub of water that everyone has. They can easily fill their measuring cup for the needed amount of empathy without any issues and it’s easy for them. People with AsPD don’t have a tub of water. We have shallow skillet. When we try to dip our cup to fill it, we can’t, it always comes up short and it is difficult to get any water in it as there is no room for the cup to dive. Our ability to care is limited because we do not have the same emotional resources everyone else does.

❌ False Positives & False Negatives ❌

I operate on what I’ve learned are called false positives and false negatives. These are things that are trained into the brain from an early age based off of childhood trauma and other factors. False positives are a distorted version of why we do something to help ourself and for our own good, meanwhile a false negative is something we do because it’s a threat, or based out of fear.

❌ Some of my false positives:

- It is good to be afraid of nothing

- It is good to adapt to someone’s personality if they are stronger than you

- It is good to isolate yourself

- It is good to be a silver tongue because you can get into any place you want

- It is good to become a social chameleon and shape yourself to whatever those around you need/want most, because then you have no chance of being abandoned

❌ Some of my false negatives, which can explain the false positives as well as core beliefs:

- it is bad to be afraid, if I am afraid then I am vulnerable and it can be used against me

- It is bad to be emotional or show concern for others emotions because they do not care for mine

- It is bad to be able to be exploited, because I believe it is everywhere

- It is bad to allow myself to be bored, because boredom begets bad thoughts and no one can or wants to help me when I spiral

- It is bad to not shape yourself to the social circle, because people quickly grow tired of those who do not match them perfectly and being discarded means I failed

My core beliefs can be viewed as the root for the false positives and negatives, because they are based on the core of trauma, abuse and neglect. They come from patterns and instances that make someone with AsPD become the opposite of what they experienced:

- eat or be eaten

- If I don’t show that my bite is worse than my bark, I will be taken advantage of and I must remain on top because the ones on top are safe

- I must look out for myself because nobody will do it for me

- It doesn’t matter what happens to me, therefore it doesn’t matter what people think of me

- If I cannot do something well, then I should not do it at all

- If you are dependent on others for emotional and mental well being, you are weak, therefore I must isolate myself to avoid becoming codependent and a burden and useless

- If I can handle the stress of a situation better than everyone else, therefore I will keep the problem (financial, emotional, mental, etc) to myself to reduce chances of being abandoned due to failure of perfection

People with AsPD are hard to get along with. We often:

- are always anticipating a fight

- lack respect for authority

- ignore social structures to an extent

- tendency to lie if it’ll lessen punishment or if we feel the lie is more acceptable than our actions

- limit social support because it’s wrong to be dependent on others

- have an inflated view of our own importance — which turns into a self ridicule for believing someome like me could be found important to others —

- can be rude and inconsiderate of others feelings somewhat unintentionally

- are unable to read the correct social cues in relation to empathy towards people and animals

- am constantly confused by others dependence upon empathy and inability to make desicions from logic based standpoints

We can’t speak for everyone who has AsPD, nor are we saying that no one with AsPD is capable of being a murderer/abuser etc. but we are saying that y’all need to stop automatically classifying someone as a certain “type” as soon as you know about their disorder.

One last thing I do want to point out is that it is not uncommon for people with AsPD to derive some sort of enjoyment in causing harm, doing something illegal, hurting someone or animals, etc. This entirely stems from lack of environmental control as a child. Being able to control what happens to others or being able to control the things you say or do that hurts someone else is a hefty high to get addicted to; it soothes the underlying itch of not being able to control your own trauma and abuse, so in turn you push these behaviors onto others and enjoy it because it gives you a sense of power and control. Some people with AsPD do genuinely love hurting others, and some enjoy hurting others when they believe it’s deserved or their ire has been stoked. Some enjoy causing pain to those they think deserve it, and others don’t care who they hurt as long as they feel like they’re in control of the situation.

Hope this have some insight into AsPD 🤙🏻 if y’all have any questions, shoot.

[dandelion-system]

*is a system*

*decides to watch a show with decidedly mentally unwell characters*

*stressful situation begins*

*does not stop watching the show*

*relates a bit too hard*

*starts copying the mannerisms and speech patterns unconsciously*

“Oh. Oh no”

[elamorsys]

apps and websites we use for system stuff!

Simply plural- we use it to log alters and info on them! We also use it for outer communication, and front logging 

Fortelling- log alters, log info on alter, log places in innerworld, make groups

Mindmeister- we use it to make a innerworld map, split and fusion map!

Inkarnate- we use this to make a innerworld map!

Notion- we use it for literally everything. 

Symptom tracking 

Switch tracking

Alters

Subsystems

Layers

Innerworld places

Coping skills

Message board

Etc

Lighthouse- log groups, alters, places in innerworld, have journals for alters

Discord- make a private sys server and log everything and work on outer communication! We have a template if you want it https://discord.new/qYeC65Z2DNWA

Pinterest- get to know alters better to help with communication, by making boards for each alter!

Everskies- make face claims with more customization than picrew

Twinote- outer communication, Twitter style

Antar- outer communication, text style 

Anytype- make locked notes! Locked journals for each alter

Photonote- outer communication insta style

If you use any other apps or websites feel free to share them in the comments!

[the-alarm-system]

plural love

didn't think this was possible honestly, was kinda wondering if you guys also had a similar experience. deep in my heart I feel loved though, scientifically I am intrigued.

I was showering, I had a pulsing headache, horrible and agonizing(nothing DID related, just hit it badly). I cried out for Scald because I wanted emotional comfort, he took my hand gently and said "here, I'll take half the pain" and weirdly it was like the pain dissociated from me, I felt it weaken to a tolerable state. Scald was in pain though, but even when I told him to stop he kept holding my hand. It was so strange that my pain just went from 100 to a 10, this is revolutionizing to me, plurality can ease physical pain

[traumagenic-positivity]

Vent about the concept of syscourse. I want there to be spaces to talk about actual real life living with DID instead of fucking syscourse everywhere. I want the community to be focused on Resources for mental health and physical health problems that come with the disorder.

I want endos to FUCK OFF. I want people who have no idea about what it's like to be in pain to FUCK OFF. I want people who only believe the disorder is about having characters in your head to Fuck Off.

This disorder is genuinely killing me and there are people on every side of syscourse bullshit talking about shit that doesnt fucking matter. Why are there 60 safe spaces for endos or anti endos or fucking whoever but nothing to talk about the crippling and debilitating symptoms and the problems with the health system.

—🦊

^^!! we've also experienced a lot of pain from alters who get dysphoric and contort our body to feel better, and a ton of random soreness! this disorder is a Disorder!!!

[hellhoundzzz]

hi systems [mainly] this is important please listen up

[plain text start — hi systems [mainly] this is important please listen up — plain text end.]

POSTING YOUR TRIGGERS ONLINE FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE OR FOR FRIENDS YOU DONT KNOW THAT WELL IS DANGEROUS. IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT SORTA TRIGGER IT IS, ITS PUTTING YOURSELF IN DANGER. NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS EVEN IF THEYRE POSITIVE.

mainly directed at minors. adults can do wtv i don't care it's your choice you should understand the consequences. CHILDREN do not. doesnr matter how "mature" you are.

also applies to stating hypersexuality, but that's a whole other convo.

endos this applies to you too. I care abt your safety too. you deserve to be safe too. stay safe

[plain text start — endos this applies to you too. I care abt your safety too. you deserve to be safe too. stay safe — plain text end]

[littlest-bugz]

How you look when you just got finished rapid switching

[lemony-ink]

having low/no empathy doesn't make you evil or less-than someone else

you don't owe empathy to anyone

having NPD or ASPD doesn't make you a bad person

[chemicalcarousel]

It's fucking funny when you start to notice the "tells" of certain alters, such as speech patterns, posture, voice pitch, accent, hand gestures, ect.

Like "wait a minute... why am I fucking man spreading like a fucking clown.... oh.... oh it's him."