gailbean

[interstellarsystem]

Plurality and Suffering

This was going to be a reblog to someone else's post, but this deserves its own. My wording might be slightly weird because I'm having some disorganised thinking, ask to clarify if you need.

People online have such an issue with plurals presenting themselves as happy, or enjoying the fact that they're a system in the slightest. If you're not all doom and gloom, people just... Assume you're faking it for fun? As if plurals have to share their suffering online? As if they have to suffer?

"You're clearly treating plurality like its all fun and games! Look at all these silly, lighthearted posts! Not a hint of distress or trauma! How can you be diagnosed with DID when you're clearly not disordered?"

Do you ever stop to think for more than 5 seconds about personal safety? There's people who hate systems left and right, cringe subreddit posters, and generally people who would take that information and use it against you in some way. You don't share your personal name and address online, so why should we share the ins and outs of our daily struggles? Our trauma in any amount of detail? Anything that could be used to hurt or manipulate us further?

Not only is no one else entitled to that information, but it's not safe to share in a place where strangers can see it. We don't share a list of our triggers for the same reasons--we don't want to hand out the keys to our trauma to anyone who happens to see us online.

Not every plural has to suffer either, mind you. So many types of systems tend to not struggle due to their plurality or even anything remotely related to it, and that's okay! You don't need to suffer to be real, suffering isn't a prerequisite to being plural. I'm not even just talking about nondisordered systems here either.

Systems with CDDs can heal. DID, OSDD, DDNOS, anything. They can get to a point where life is worth living if it didn't feel like it already. It could be through final fusion, but it could also be through learning to live together happily as a collective. They can get to a point where the major suffering of the past is far behind. Having a dissociative disorder is NOT a death sentence, I promise you. Things can get better, either through therapy, or medication or just time and learning itself--all while still remaining happily plural.

Acting like disabled people (or even a subgroup of them) will never ever be able to live a life with any happiness or one even worth living at all is an ableist argument used to support so many horrible things thrown toward disabled people of all kinds. It's a few steps away from saying we need to be put out of our misery because we can never live a meaningful, happy life. We've seen this exact argument used against all kinds of mentally or physically disabled people, saying it's cruel to keep them living. And that's absolutely ridiculous.

It's so sad that these sentiments are common in CDD spaces. Yes, there are struggles that come with the disorder, but you can heal. The idea that you will never be okay is a lie. You might not be at a neurotypical level of functioning, but you can be happy, and you can be happy being plural. You are worth it, your disorder doesn't change that, and neither does the general community vibe of "everyone has to suffer and hate their system". You can be happy, you can love your system, you can grow together and make life what you want it to be.

Being a system of any kind is never, EVER a sign that your life will never be good. It's never a sign that you can never feel happy again. It's never a sign that you should just give up. And being required to show off how much you struggle in order to have the basic amount of respect--people just simply believing that you experience what you say you do--is absolutely ridiculous. You don't need to suffer at all, and if you are suffering, you don't need to do it forever--much less share that with people who could use it against you.

Do better, for yourselves and for others in your community. It's okay to be in pain, it's okay to wish things were different, it's okay to share experiences and gather support, but it's not okay to act like no one who is plural could ever have happiness in their life, or claim that those who don't suffer as much as you are fake. Stop spreading the sentiment that suffering is the only way.

[syscultureis]

Sys culture is omg why hasn’t anyone else fronted in a while I feel like I’m faking oh god what if it was all just a psychotic episode

.

[ghostdoesstuffs]

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE YOUR HEADMATES!!!!

[thescreamcorner]

Stop. Fearmongering. Mental Health Diagnosis.

In the majority of cases:

You cannot be forced into inpatient just for receiving a diagnosis.

You cannot be forced into any type of treatment just for receiving a diagnosis.

You cannot be deemed legally incompetent just for receiving a diagnosis.

You won't lose legal rights just for receiving a diagnosis.

You can't be denied life saving medical care just for receiving a diagnosis.

Diagnosis is time consuming and stressful, but its not a fucking death sentence. Its a gateway to proper treatment, and it's insanely dangerous to spread misinformation about health care to justify anti recovery sentiments.

Pushing people away from evaluations they need has the potential to KILL THEM.

Dont put that blood on your hands.

[rare-average-system]

My one and only personal take on Endos that I will post:

I do not care if you want to claim multiplicity and live your life that way. Go on an pop off.

BUT there is no space in the trauma space for non-traumagenic systems. Your experience will never be related to ours. A system formed from trauma is formed out of a need for survival. We are broken. We are fractured. We are not living. We are surviving.

Whatever experience of multiplicity you claim to experience can never be paralleled to ours. And same of the reverse.

Do I believe in endo systems? I do not care. It is not part of my life. If anything, it seems more akin to a spiritual belief of the self.

Live your life just do not interact with mine. Thank you.

~edit~ Oct 29

I turned rb off on this because it was posted by another Part who doesn't really run this account much. Because we are all pieces to our whole, I won't be deleting it.

[prose-among-the-trees]

Okay yeah I’m gonna be upset today I decided. You know what I fucking hate on this site???

Okay I’m not calling anyone out by username. The person who posted this vent probably feels really strongly about it and I’m not trying to ruin their day.

But I really really hate seeing blogs that have “endos dni!!” do the same problematic shit.

I saw a vent today and the tldr of it is that op is really said for their alters who can’t pursue other careers, artists and scientists and geniuses that have to be stuck in one body.

I’d just like to point out that did is not an alter disorder.

If your biggest issue with your condition is that the people in your head can’t have their own bodies then you and I have a very different definition of what’s classified as “disordered” behavior or maladaptive behavior.

I don’t mourn for the parts of me that don’t get to do the careers they’d like. I have days where I’ve switched and all of a sudden the years and years for my teaching degree seem fucking useless because why don’t I just become an author or a bartender or work at an animal shelter? Why don’t I go back to psychology, why did I give it up at all? Parts of me embody these mindsets and it makes continuing with a degree incredibly difficult.

But I mourn more for the dissociation, the trauma, the awful flashbacks and memories, the gaps in time that prevent me from being successful now. I’m functioning well in the grand scheme of everything and I don’t feel like it because I constantly feel like my world is going to be pulled out from under me.

Can we please stop with the harmful rhetoric that alters are their own individuals with souls and stuff?

Yes, acknowledging your parts and their needs is integral to healing, but there is such a thing as taking it too far, and that’s what the community does. We pretend that alters are multiple people in one body instead of a cohesive lack of identity.

Thanks.

[plurapony]

So... We Got Married! 🎀

Soo happy to be finally married to my beautiful wife Zoey 🩷

Sempre Fidelis Mea Mollis Regina Puella

[radical-boy-kisser]

TW: Endos, vent, syscourse

This is not an invitation to start syscourse.

Do not start syscourse over this. Anybody who does so will be blocked immediately. I do not care who you are, DNI. If you still do, you're only proving my point more.

This is also not a syscourse blog. This is just a vent, posts will continue like normal after this.

Endogenic systems are disgusting. They are nothing more than attention-seeking weirdos who mock trauma survivors. They can never respect boundaries and DNI either. God forbid someone doesn't like those who actively harm them and people like them, and they get harassed by endos for being a normal person.

You cannot be an endo without hating real trauma survivors.

There has never been, is not, will never be another form of system that doesn't come from DID. "Tulpas" are not systems nor do they claim to be. Any system who claims to be a "tulpa" is racist, full stop.

Trauma-endo is not real. You are either not a system, or your plurality was caused by trauma. Nothing else.

Willogenic is not real. You cannot just "make a system." You are disgusting if you think that's possible. Systems can only ever form out of repeated childhood trauma, which causes the brain to never form a full identity/"self."

You cannot have roles if you are endogenic.

Protectors? What is there to protect you from? You don't have trauma. Memory holders? What memories are there to withhold? You don't have trauma. Caretakers? What is there to take care of? You don't have trauma. Alters at all? Who has the brain created to protect itself/cope from traumatic memories? You don't have trauma.

Endos mock real trauma survivors who have to deal with this disabling disorder while they can turn it on and off as they please.

Traumagenic endo supporters are no better. You mock those in your own community and make fools out of them. You cannot love the system community if you support endos. You cannot love any system if you support endos.

I say systems here, and not traumagenic. Endos will never be real systems.

Being a system and supporting endos is incredibly ironic.

Gays for Trump!

Cows for slaughterhouse!

Misogynists for Kamala!

Rats for lab testing!

Bears for bear traps!

Billionaires for taxation!

It's stupid and nothing more.

I am so, so tired of syscord. I have never seen a server more full of pro-endo systems and endos than I have the Tupperbox Support server. It's so exhausting.

If I could magically become host, I would in a heartbeat so I could get everyone away from these idiots. Alas, he clings onto that tiny server full of pro-endos and a slightly lqbtqphobic guy.

Brb, gonna pull a neo/xeno prns-only user to front and see how he reacts.

[wiltedrosebouquet]

Every time any of the DID tags look like this an angel loses it’s wings

[plurality-is-mundane]

Didn't want to derail that previous post too much.

But that's why we made Mundane Plurality. To show ourselves, each other, and the world, that we live normal lives.

That we wash dishes

We fold laundry

We laugh and sing and cry and love and have emotions.

To show the world we aren't scary monsters. We just happen to be multiple people in one body.

[interstellarsystem]

Nonhuman expressions of affection are great. Purring. Exposing weak points as a show of trust. Head bonks. Preening and chewing. Nuzzling. Biting. Intertwining tails. Feeding each other. Little chuffs, chatters, beeps and squeaks. Fluffing up of feathers, fur or other things. Dancing to impress. Cleaning their fur, scales, feathers or skin. Sharing body heat. Ears pointing toward those you care about to show your full attention is on them. Slow blinking.

[the-messy-artist]

Has this been done yet

[syscultureis]

system culture is having two alters fronting at the same time in a super blurry way, so the person i currently am is simultaneously both and neither of the alters

.

[ghostdoesstuffs]

Hello lovely people :) reminder to take care of yourself today. Drink some water, eat a little bit. if you can brush your teeth and your hair. You're so strong <3

[rustybutterknife]

Microdosing polyamory by dating a system