#bpd thoughts

[borderlesbian]

loving me is like watering a dead flower

[rainywhispersblog]

[commonzinnia]

“it wasnt even that big of a deal” shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up

[saddevilsworld]

i’m fighting a war within my head that i don’t want to fight anymore it’s so exhausting and no one understands

[cherrybitesmarks]

I feel myself slipping back into people pleasing behaviours and loosing myself in other people, but I'm unable to consciously stop myself as if I were a ghost watching myself

[dead-r4bb1t]

Jealousy eats me alive. Too bad it never kills me.

[saccharinehell]

There is no place where I belong. I don't fit in anywhere.

[ambrosiabloodd]

oh, my darling, please let me worship you-- you know i'd make it worthwhile. i'll kneel at your feet, drop to my knees like a picture perfect follower, something straight out of an art piece. i'll hug and nuzzle up on your leg, gaze up at you with pure love, pure devotion, pure want. i'll whimper for your attention if you should want me to, like a begging puppy. just tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it, without hesitation. i truly don't deserve you, a being of such excellence, gazing down at me with that look in your eyes..but i can't help the need that courses through my veins, pumps my blood, fuels and soothes my aching heart.

take my blood as an offering. take my heart, my flesh, my anything, as an offering, i already belong to you, there's nothing i won't give you if it'd make you happy. carve into my skin, tear apart the sinew, rip into my viscera, and i'll let you taste or take what's underneath, it's all yours anyway. let me tell you all my sinful deeds, all the nasty things i've done, the things so impure, and let me beg for your forgiveness with teary eyes and hands clasped together, right where i belong-- on my knees, yes? you prefer me this way anyway, don't you?

[nofuckingideawho]

I promise you could trust me w your heart, I'd always hold it gently and keep it as safe as I can

[commonzinnia]

why do i always say stupid things

[saddevilsworld]

my head hurts. i miss the old me, the hopeful one. the one that had the ambition and the energy. the one that didn’t feel so lonely and sad all the time.

i hate this new me.

[openfleshwound]

im gonna sob i ruin everything i just want them to love me again

[doomedfromthewombfr]

My love is a wildfire- beautiful from a distance but impossible to survive up close

[hisenemy]

I gave him everything. I devoted everything to and for him. He didn’t deserve me.

He will feel eternal regret and suffering..

[luluscandystore]

imagine you get shot in the heart and punched in the gut at the same time. it feels like your world is collapsing around you and you feel the urge to vomit but you just can't no matter how hard you try. the pain in your heart and stomach then travel and pulse throughout your whole body, it feels like something is inside you, eating you alive. nothing is the same as it was just a minute ago. you want to tear out your hair and rip out your heart and stomach. instead, you lash out. leading to you pathetically begging on your hands and knees for forgiveness because you arent the sweet pure angel you always try to be percieved as. you're selfish and you know it. and now everyone else knows it too

thats what jealousy feels like to me