#tw vent

[styrofoam-box]

[radioactiverats]

Honestly just kind of a messy vent Optimus and reader TW: Loss, grief

You haven't said anything yet, but the moment you arrived base, dropped your bag on the floor and promptly melted into the couch, staring blankly at the ceiling - the bots knew something was wrong.

A few of the bots had come to hover nearby, worried - Bumblebee, beeping anxiously until he was gently corralled away, Ratchet, gruffly making sure that no one was disturbing you, and finally... Optimus.

"How are they, old friend?" Optimus rumbled.

"Won't say a thing," Ratchet groused, and something about how could you expect him to help when you won't tell him where it hurts? And he sounds strangely hurt at that - you know that he just wants to help you, heal you - that he cares. But this is one thing that even Rachet's magic servos can't fix.

Death.

The one you had been closest to, lying there, stiff and still - yet free, no longer tethered by earthly pains. At least it had been peaceful. You tried not to imagine what if it had happened on a battlefield. Contorted features, grimace of pain immortal? You supposed you could take comfort in the closed eyes and smoothed brow.

The bots were low enough on energon as is, and you were torn between guilt and the desperate need for company when you heard the smooth clicking and whirring of mass displacement. Optimus quietly settled himself next to the couch, and you allowed yourself a brief moment to soak in his reassuring presence.

"Loss is never easy, little one," Optimus says, his gravelly voice solemn. He glances at you as your eyes widen in shock. "It's written all over your face."

Several millennia of war was enough to recognize the air of death that hung around you.

He tilts his helm back, ex-venting.

"Cybertronians believe in return to the Well of Allsparks," He offers quietly, contemplatively.

"Do cybertronians reincarnate?"

Optimus takes a moment to consider this.

"Death is not the end for us," he decides. You remember that he's been brought back to life more times than you can count, which does add an interesting dimension to his words. "The Well of Allsparks is... warm," he continues, thoughtful, as if trying hard to grasp the wispy tail of a fuzzy memory. "There was joy in my spark. The others were there, and I..."

He trails off, and if you're not mistaken, a note of guilt had crept into his voice. You sit up and silently reach for his servo. Optimus obliges you, and you slot your tiny hand into his to squeeze it.

"You felt relief, didn't you?"

A beat of silence, and Optimus nods, bowing his head.

You nod as well, because you don't trust yourself to speak. To say I understand, I understand, Optimus, because you'll burst into tears otherwise. So you tighten your grip on his servo with trembling hands and hope he gets what you're trying to say.

The one you were mourning had struggled, before they died. Years of pain, wanting to give up because it was simply too much to bear, while you watched helplessly without any hope of understanding the amount of suffering that went into every minute of staying alive.

"If you must go," you had tearfully said to a waxy face and glassy eyes, "and what you feel is relief, I understand."

A nod. Paper-thin eyelids had closed, a final wisp of breath exhaled through colourless lips.

You'd forgotten what they looked like without their face contorted into a grimace of pain every hour of the day. Peace was a good look on them.

Had Optimus ever been angry? To have his hard-earned peace torn from him, only to be thrust back into a life of war and suffering?

Wishes had been whispered in hushed tones to the body. Be happy in your next life. You've suffered enough in this one.

There was reassurance in continuity, knowing that somehow, their soul, like sparks, might be out there and happy and free and if you were lucky enough, the universe would let you cross paths just enough to let you know that the great unknown was in fact a rather comfortable place to be.

But what if continuity meant rebirth? To do this all over again? And like Optimus, his return to the land of the living had not come with a reward for his sacrifices. Ironically enough, coming back to life was the reward for his sacrifices.

Optimus' servos suddenly tightened on your hands, and you realized you were shaking.

"Is there ever a happy ending?" You whispered. "Or... just a better one?"

Optimus finally turns to face you. "Take comfort, little one," he rumbles solemnly. "Sorrow is not the thief of joy, nor does it contaminate the good. There is no such thing as a truly happy life, nor is there such thing as a truly unhappy life. In happiness, there is pain; you must take comfort in the fact that even in pain, there is happiness to be found."

His optics search your face.

"Our universe works in mysterious ways. As much as you trust in suffering, you must also trust that there will be peace.”

[mel-loly]

-POV: You had to change your bio and put only the pronoun “he/him” because you don’t like people calling you “she/her” all the time.

No, but being very honest now, I honestly don't like people always taking me to the "feminine" side, like, I know I look very feminine but that doesn't mean people have to always refer to myself with the pronoun "she/her".. I can draw myself with breasts, eyelashes and whatever you consider "feminine", but it doesn't mean anything that I like you always referring to me with that pronoun! And people also often get Mel Creator's pronoun wrong, like, in my situation I understand, but in his... The description itself says that he only refers to himself with the pronoun "he/him", so.. It's kinda difficult, you know..?

-Melissa, designer.

[lordvonbunnyv]

TW light vent:

.

.

.

.

Nobody participated in my DTIY

Unless maybe they did and they’re just saving it for Christmas? Or maybe they’re too busy? Like they started it and just forgot about it?

✨We did it guys! After two long grueling years, we FINALLY reached 200 followers! ✨

So seeing that DTIYS are usually a tradition when celebrating a milestone, I decided to host my own DTIYS, there is no deadline, anyone can participate, and it’s not a competition. I tried to keep the picture simple since I know a lot of people struggle with detailed backgrounds. So here we go! DTIYS:

[fvckyujay]

“Binging because you ate two cookies

Is like

Stomping on your phone because you dropped it”

[thecorvidforest]

boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”

[themindofmine]

I feel like I’m already dead but I have to keep on living

[crush-echoes]

i dont know if anyone actually likes me

it doesnt feel like they do

everyone seems so close to each other

what if theyre talking about me

do they hate me

[chiyeko-kurea]

My last breath will be a sigh of relief.

[puppyguur]

:33

[cherrycolouredcollars]

You ever just look in the mirror and realise youve been anorexic for so long and still have nothing to show for it LOL i am cracking at the seams

[pinkistufff]

idk how much longer i can force myself to stay alive

[vixensofdeath]

the urge to die and become nothing becomes stronger every day

[jiraikeiangel]

it's funny how little things make me violently upset and angry

[spirallingdown]

I'm constantly depressed they have to be tired of me by now

[themindofmine]

I feel sick. Sick of myself, my life and my feelings.