#vent tw

[dollheartbadparts]

I wish I had the strength to just end it already.

[pwppydracula]

i just wish i wasn’t unlovable, this shit hurts so much idk if i can handle this anymore

[infamouslydorky]

Honestly upsetting how many issues would be solved if billionaires were content with having their income capped at 999,999,999.99 and the rest of their profits went to taxes but instead we have a situation where they're almost trillionaires and people are dying in the streets because of poverty and negligence

[zxlofttt]

[thecommunalfoolboy]

It’s crazy how many people just don’t understand why a lot of aro and or ace people don’t like that Alaster gets shipped. It’s not that hard to understand we don’t have a lot to let ourselves lose. I mean can you name 10 asexual characters? 5? Can you name two aro characters. There’s the guy from Archie who they made have a sex scene in a movie version. There’s a few books. I think a background character in Heartstopper? Do you see the theme here??? You’re all queer people, do you not get it? How it feels to have nothing? Is it so wrong to be upset that there’s finally an outwardly aroace person in popular media and instead of people embracing that they’re fighting on the internet about why it’s ok to ignore it? And I will never in my fucking life have anything against the people who are aro and or ace and portray him in THEIR experiences, even if it is a romance or sex favorable experience, but it is obvious that way too many of you guys are allo and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t even like him as a character that much, he isn’t even made by an aroace artist. The show isn’t even that fucking good, I just want to keep someone like me for once in my life. If there were a million other aroace characters I wouldn’t care, but it just hurts seeing erasure coming from my own community. It just sucks, man, I don’t know. It just sucks

[island-76]

It's so aggrivating seeing your health get worse while you're helpless to stop it

It's so aggrivating to have to adapt to brain fog when there was no fog a month ago

It's so aggrivating to deal with so much fatigue, when 2 years ago, you were so lively

It's so aggrivating to deal with all of this and find yourself slipping into anger more and more

To find yourself holding your tongue so you don't hurt those around you because you're tired and don't have the energy for it anymore

It's so unimaginably aggrivating

[pr1soners-d1lemma]

Do you think about me as much as I think about you?

[green-alien-turdz]

Vent art, not sp.

Big fuck tw for a shitty but grahic drawin of sh/cuts in a medical settin - view at own risk

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Sorry I been gone n shit. I am not gettin fuckin better. Shit has been so mfin bad. The weight of my mind n my life has kinda been standin on my neck lately. I know some people reached out, n I promise I will get to that eventually. Everythin is just a blur n when it's not a fuzzy mess, it's the crushin feelin of everythin. I'm just sorry. I fuckin hate bein alive so much. You guys are all so very amazin n all I do is bitch n moan n make people worried. I understand anyone who wouldn't wanna associate yourself with any part of me. I just bring every mf down. n I'm the only one who should sink wit this shit. Ion even know what I'm sayin anymore. I'm just tired. Please take care of yourselves bcuz you all deserve the world n you deserve peace n joy. Sounds parasocial as fuck, but I really do love n care for you guys. Please stay safe. I'll be back sometime in the future. I am drawin, so things will come. It'll just take time.

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

the thing about grief is everyone’s like “it’ll never get smaller but you’ll grow around it” and yeah that’s true. i definitely have grown around my grief and it’s not constantly all-consuming anymore. but it hasn’t gotten smaller, and i don’t think people realise what that means. i think people figure it’ll feel smaller because they did grow around it, but it just means that it’s on the back of your mind now instead of at the forefront. you can do things and live your life without constantly only thinking of your grief. but sometimes it will also make itself known, and the sheer enormity of your grief will overwhelm you because ultimately it’s the same size as the day it arrived

[dollheartbadparts]

Im weird. I want people to care abt me and be concerned, but when they do, I can't believe them.

[pwppydracula]

damn it!! i hate being jealous!!!! i hate being so paranoid and anxious and overthinking everything!!!!!!!!!!

[infamouslydorky]

Capitalism really breeds a lack of empathy, huh? Just purely profits. Then people say you can skip the human step with Ai. Don't have to worry about them getting sick. Don't have to worry about them having vacation days. Don't have to hire a human in the first place and you make more money not having to spend on or worry about any of that. They say it like it's a good thing because it's for profit and anything for profit is good. I want to throw up. No love for fellow human beings. No love for the environment. Just money. That's all that matters. God, I hate ai tech bros

And that's not to say that ai can't help people either. Like using it to identify cancer cells at an expedited rate. It's just the foregoing of anything that truly benefits everyone or the environment for money. Just money. Only money. How do people justify the heartlessness of it all and passively contribute to the death of their fellow human beings for a profit? I cannot comprehend it

[errrr-vent-blog]

god gives his siilliest schizospecs the woorst days of theiir lives every siingle dayy non stop.

[candyheartedchy]

My comfort characters are now starting to feel discomforting to me.

I might have to hide merch of my f/os from my sight because I keep getting distressed whenever I see them. I can’t watch anything they are in as a distraction. I can’t even look at my drawings or screenshots of them either without feeling shame. I had to hide merch and avoid stuff of the one character in the past when I dropped him as an f/o before bringing him back. But now I feel like I have to do it for the other two mains now. Hell I probably have to for all of my f/os at this point. I keep getting reminded of shit that hurt me related to them and every time I see these characters I’m feel physically sick. I constantly feel like an embarrassment or joke when I interact with a fandom or the self ship community in general.

I’m fucking scared of everything now.

[system-of-a-feather]

Honestly a skill that many develop that can be easily missed for those that grew up in abusive or neglectful home is the skill of "receiving / being taken care of" and I really dont see people providing advice or "explain it to me like Im a toddler because I am emotionally at or BELOW that level of understanding it"

And I know in a lot of trauma spaces, people struggle with learned helplessness and/or not knowing how to care for themselves; but I think its important to acknowledge how fucking HARD and confusing and difficult it is to learn - as an adult - how to receive care, attention, or help.

I find, from observation of others, its something that comes a lot more naturally and almost like breathing when someone offers or begins to help out and logically, I know it is easy to break down the steps to 1) someone gives help 2) you accept it (here we are ignoring the entirely other difficult skill of asking for help which is a whole seperate but related thing)

But its like... really not that simple, because even if you physically "accept" the help and they help you, thats only like the surface level application of the skill / concept and ugh

I dont really have the words for it atm and am mostly venting but man, 8 years of therapy and its still such a hard concept and skill for me to learn, apply and integrate into my life. I think - of all the skills I missed due to my trauma and upbringing - its the skill I struggle with the most

(open for anyone to add their two cents on)