#chronic pain

[endodyke]

This summer, when I had my laparoscopy, I woke up and the first thing I was told was that they didn’t find anything. I was so upset. I knew there was something wrong with me, but we were back to square one. I spent the next two weeks horribly depressed.

Two weeks later at my post-op appointment, the doctor told me I actually *did* have endometriosis. They found it under a microscope during the biopsy. I was so relieved. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t faking it. I had a genuine reason why I was in so much pain.

There’s no cure (as of now) but there are treatments and support groups and accommodations. I can make a plan and move forward now

Something I want able bodied people to understand is that I don't want a diagnosis cause I wanna be sick so bad; I want a diagnosis because there is already something wrong with my body but I don't know what the fuck it is.

[chronicallymistreated]

@/MSINTHECITY - Insta

[matchakuracat]

to be disabled is to constantly be blamed for things that are out of your control

[fibro-memes]

[definitelynotaqueen]

That’s some bullshit! Yesterday I held my laptop too long. Not only did I end up weak and in pain for hours after but then the twitching started. Like how heavy is a laptop?!

Chronic pain pisses me off cause I'm not even incapacitated for like a cool or badass reason instead my body is throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum because it's raining outside

[vividstargore]

being physically disabled means the weather gets mildly cold and you lose the ability to stand and none of your joints stay in place

[fanaroff]

I hate the struggle with chronic illness. I hate being tired all the time. I’ve spent what feels like days just sleeping because my body has decided that’s what needed and I haven’t been able to get done what I need to.

I want my energy back. I want to stop feeling like my life is being taking up by something out of my control. I want my control back.

[asecretnerdcollection]

the first thing I lost to my disability was the ability to play my violin, it happened at the same time as my loss of writing but was so much more of a loss to me. it took me three years to mention my violin without crying.

6 years later having been barely able to hold my violin for more than 10 minutes without having a flare up and only doing so a handful of times over these years I still can't stop considering myself a violinist. I didn't choose to stop playing and if all of my disabilities disappeared tomorrow it would be the first thing I would try to do again.

This for me is the grief of disability, not just the loss of my body but that of my Identities as they have slowly peeled away as its got worse.

[catoperated]

I was in a job where you sit down the whole shift and it still fucked my back up because I had cerebral palsy and shouldn’t have been doing anything for that long, and also they had the shittiest office chairs imaginable.

When wheels broke off an order had to be put in with maintenance, which could take weeks to fulfill. At one point I was awkwardly balancing on 3/5 wheels. There was no use swapping chairs as all of them had something wrong with them. They were that old.

What I did do was document every complaint I filed, every request for better equipment. Then I bought my own damn chair that was rated for sitting 8 hours. My boss was pissed because “now everyone will want a chair like that.”

He finally caved, reimbursed me, and got everyone chairs like that. I was office hero for a bit, but my back pain kept getting worse. I finally went out on the FMLA (because I didn’t get a raise for the first time in years for having a “bad attitude” aka I I was in too much pain to smile through it) and my doctor strongly recommended I not go back to work.

When it came time to go out, I had my (by then very thick) binder where my bosses had signed off on every “silly little problem” without a thought. The company, seeing that, let me go out on Workmans comp.

Document everything.

I would like to see more people talk about how jobs treat disabled employees.

I used to prep, wash dishes, and cook at mellow mushroom. I had chronic pain that wasn't NEARLY as bad as it is today, but it was still very debilitating. I told my employer "i cannot stand more than 4 to 6 hours. I CANNOT do shifts longer than this due to my illness." And even though i made my boundaries VERY clear, everyday i worked it was 8 hours at the least and 10 or 12 at the most. I would go up to my manager and say "look i really need to leave, my shift is over, my chronic pain is killing me." And he'd say "we really need to here, you HAVE to push through." And so i did, and after one, ONE month of that job my crps got incredibly worse to the point where i could no longer walk my dog around the block which was .5 miles. I quit, and that was FOUR years ago, and ever since that day I HAVE BEEN BEDRIDDEN AND HAVE TO USE A WHEELCHAIR. It is my biggest regret in life.

My best friend who has seen my whole journey has recently developed undiagnosed chronic pain, and she is in the EXACT same scenario i was 4 years ago. Busting her ass at a pizza place with extreme pain that hurts her so much she tells me "im in so much pain i don't even feel like a person." She doesn't feel LUCID. And her manager and coworkers are saying the same thing "if you don't help us you will let us down, we'll be in the shit."

That job thats hurting you isn't fucking worth it. I promise you no money is worth losing all your physical abilities and never getting them back. Your coworkers and boss do not give a shit about you, so don't you dare suffer for them. They will never understand your struggle and they will never try. They truly think being understaffed is worse than whatever pain you experience. They would rather you permanently damage yourself than inconvenience them. FUCK THEM. DON'T FUCKING DO IT!

[nondivisable]

I need to say something and I need y'all to be calm

if it isn't actively bad or harmful, no representation should be called "too simple" or "too surface level"

I have a whole argument for this about the barbie movie but today I wanna talk about a show called "the babysitters club" on Netflix

(obligatory disclaimer that I watched only two episodes of this show so if it's super problematic I'm sorry) (yes. I know it's based on a book, this is about the show)

this is a silly 8+ show that my 9 year old sister is watching and it manages to tackle so many complex topics in such an easy way. basic premise is these 13 year old girls have a babysitting agency.

in one episode, a girl babysits this transfem kid. the approach is super simple, with the kid saying stuff like "oh no, those are my old boy clothes, these are my girl clothes". they have to go to the doctor and everyone is calling the kid by her dead name and using he/him and this 13 year old snaps at like a group of doctors and they all listen to her. it's pure fantasy and any person versed in trans theory would point out a bunch of mistakes.

but after watching this episode, my little sister started switching to my name instead of my dead name and intercalating he/him pronouns when talking about me.

one of the 13 years old is a diabetic and sometimes her whole personality is taken over by that. but she has this episode where she pushes herself to her limit and passes out and talks about being in a coma for a while because of not recognizing the limits of her disability.

and this allowed my 9 year old sister to understand me better when I say "I really want to play with you but right now my body physically can't do that" (I'm disabled). she has even asked me why I'm pushing myself, why I'm not using my crutches when I complain about pain.

my mom is 50 years old and watching this show with my sister. she said the episode about the diabetic girl helped her understand me and my disability better. she grew up disabled as well, but she was taught to shut up and power through.

yes, silly simple representation can annoy you if you've read thousands of pages about queer liberation or disability radical thought, but sometimes things are not for you.

[i-say-stupid-things]

what is it with able bodied people saying “get well soon” after you say that you’re chronically ill?? like? i am not gonna? and i once literally responded with “i’m not gonna, it’s chronic, as in permanent.” and they went like “oh well, hope you get better!” like bro 💀

[bl0w-m3]

[illegal-broccoli]

do you ever literally have dreams about wheelchair because me too

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

[fibro-memes]