#autism

[dinklebat]

an interaction im very tired of in online autism spaces. aka when you don’t have a special interest / when your special interest isn’t [character] or [fandom]

[autiebiographical]

Hyperfixations are such dopamine factories that if I don't have one I slip into depression. It's why I wish I had more control over my hyperfixations so if one passes I can easily pick up another one.

[maculategiraffe]

so I have always been a bit boggled by the idea of "self esteem." like I have always liked myself and wanted the best for myself and thought I was awesome and yet therapists have constantly been accusing me of having "low self esteem"

and it's only very recently that I have worked out that by Self Esteem they mean more like-- trusting myself. to be able to do what I want done. and my whole life I have been real shaky on that not because I don't think I'm awesome but because I have become increasingly and miserably aware that I have a fucking neurological condition. or two. that make it extremely difficult to do certain things no matter how much I want them done

and now that I've gotten myself diagnosed and medicated I am more getting what they mean. like. now I know I probably CAN do the thing if I am properly medicated and have gotten a good night's sleep and deploy the right playlist. and everything is way less scary because of that

but it's not because. like. I just needed to esteem myself more?? it's like if I fought and fought and finally got a wheelchair and was like "okay NOW I know I can make it through an entire trip to the grocery store" and people were like "see! you just needed to believe in yourself!" no I needed Y'ALL to fucking believe me

[thewizardslime]

Mecore (kinda?)

It wouldn't be so me if i wasn't so sympathetic. Even if my parents were mad when i messed up they weren't that mad (still enough to make me feel bad about meaningless stuff). HOWEVER i have this thing where i feel really bad about other people getting harmed or straight up objects being harmed like, i don't think of objects as alive until they are dead, or whatever.

Sometimes the world makes me think of Sympathy as a bad thing and a bad trait i have even if Sympathy is the thing we need most in the world right now

“Why do you beat yourself up so much over little mistakes?”

[gabrielora]

When I was younger and researching the autism diagnosis criteria and symptoms, I thought “oh I couldn’t POSSIBLY be autistic.” Because when I read “takes everything literally” I thought it literally meant EVERYTHING and I was like “I don’t take EVERYTHING literally, just most things!” And I just realized the other day that it didn’t actually mean EVERYTHING and that was an overstatement.

[callmemanatee]

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

[bipolarmango]

My doctor and therapist: now with this autism + ADHD diagnosis you need to learn to unmask because masking all the time will make you burn out again and feel like shit

Other people: well it's just interesting how after getting the diagnosis you suddenly start behaving like that I mean I'm not saying you're faking it's just funny how you suddenly cannot be normal like you were before

[youmegravity]

I need people to understand that sometimes autism is just this

[canineentity]

“Why’d you do that?” Please remember that I am using what I’ve seen in humans to mimic them

[victusinveritas]

[mynameisnot-carl]

I love the art sm holy fuck

Harrison Wood Hsiang

[thund3randrain]

when the autism is being an actual mental health problem instead of making me obsess over fictional characters again:

[kenapiece-main]

Can you believe I'm having to make this meme even after successfully finishing up taxes and applying to job

[2003-playground]

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[queerautisticcarrot]

100%. I make a point to tell people all the time that I need a warning at LEAST two days before something even slightly out of the ordinary. But they always seem to just...ignore it.

Viz, this weekend my dad came into my room, tools in hand, and announced he would be putting up the lights beside my mirror (we've been moved in for a few months but the house kinda seems like a never ending project.) I was cleaning my room at the time and just enjoying some quiet Me Time after my body decided to wake up at 3:47 AM. So I was like fine, whatever, how long could it take anyway? REALLY FUCKING LONG APPARENTLY. So after about two hour of trying to pretend he wasn't cutting wholes in my walls and using a VERY LOUD FUCKING DRILL, He finished and told me to get my mom so we could show her. Well I do just that, we show my mom, and I'm about to start cleaning my bathroom.

Then the other shoe drops and my dad asks my mom—not me—if she wanted him to put the light above my tub up as well. She says yes and then proceeds to ask me why I'm not cleaning, which fine she has a right to ask her daughter to keep her room clean, maybe I'm a little entitled. I tell her that I had a plan and was going in order from smallest section to largest (closet, bathroom, bedroom.) She tells me to just clean my room and, "I have to be able to adapt."

And she's right, I do, but I had already adapted. I had not planned to wake up at four in the fucking morning. My adaptive abilities for that day were gone. AND my personal space was being invaded for far longer than I was mentally—or physically for that matter—prepared for.

So you know what I did? I took a much needed nap until my dad was done and finished when I had my space to myself again. Maybe I was bratty. I don't really know.

What I did know, is despite telling my mom multiple times that I need a warning when there's plan, because they had discussed this without me, she hadn't told be even just that day. I felt super...disrespected...disregarded...something like that. And it really hurt my feelings and ruined my day.

It's not that I don't want to visit, it just wasn't on the list I made in my head