#bpdbIr

[h3lloyou]

I feel no excitement. No anger either. I feel no fear. No joy.

[airotciv83]

We stopped by the book fair at Madeline’s school today. She’s pretty excited about a new Pete the Cat book and two books about unicorns. #bookfair #madelineroselouisedenney #maddygoestoprek https://www.instagram.com/p/BpDBIr-hl1q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1qbkrfyimwfgu

[h3lloyou]

im an embarrassment to myself. I feel so selfish for being so tired. My issues are all so minuscule.

[h3lloyou]

i was taught from a young age that peoples love for me has always been and will always be conditional

[h3lloyou]

it is an undeniable fact in life that i go through all the stages of grief in a week and then i return back to where i started on monday

[h3lloyou]

Original photo by livingwithjuliette on instagram

[h3lloyou]

Making myself the victim in situations where i would not have been if i had just had the balls to set down a boundary and say “no”? Sign me the fuck up!

[h3lloyou]

am i not allowed to feel emotions and be loved by others? Why do i have to choose? Its between being liked and only experience numbness or be hated for feeling my emotions.

Why do they just want a porcelain doll? A fucking shell of a person instead of just me?

[h3lloyou]

“I liked you better when you were depressed,” glock tuah! im going to fucking shoot myself!

[h3lloyou]

drop kicking this here because its my favorite feelings wheel and i have to scroll through like 5 images of the same 15 shitty color wheels that dont help me just to get to this one

[h3lloyou]

i dont know if i regret the person ive become. All i know is that i miss the person i was once. theres so much i miss about myself thats just gone now. im different, and i think i hate it.

[h3lloyou]

sorrys for accidents. What you did was on purpose. Get the fuck out of my life. I cant believe i trusted you. I can’t believe i fell for your fucking lies again.

[h3lloyou]

needing to have a very explicit way of how your beloved will never leave you while also being severely triggered into a self sabotaging downward spiral by being told “i will never leave you. I promise” is the tragicomedy duo of the century

[h3lloyou]

i need you.

[h3lloyou]

i am held back by the limitations of my own emotions and i wish each day for it to be easily removed. such trivial things need to be discarded from me, i want to skin my own flesh even with its tedious mess that comes after it.

[h3lloyou]

truly, how stupid am i? Mourning a relationship i knew could never work out from the beginning. The emptiness i feel in my heart without your presence contradicts the way i think of you. I can help feeling this intense switch of love and hate, with no in between. I yearn for you to come back, but if you did, i would take every chance i could get to hurt you the way you hurt me.