#npd

[venomrevenge]

the thing people forget, especially on the internet, is that these mental health issues do not CAUSE you to BECOME terrible racist bigoted assholes. NO MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES CAUSE THAT. they were always this way, they would be this way regardless of any mental health issues they may or may not have. dont get it twisted.

Elon Musk isn't a sociopath Trump isn't a narcissist Jeff Bezos isn't a psycho they are terrible racist bigoted assholes but I'm begging y'all to fucking give a shit about people with personality disorders. PLEASE.

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

NPD culture is…

off anon to send the picture

Literally what the fuck are you people even talking about. If you can’t read it, the video says “when his sweet act slips and he’s got the narcissist eyes you’ve seen before”

…

.

[the-bonfires-ember]

fuck it ill do it myself

Being in a Relationship with Someone with NPD for Dummies

**I would like to open with the preface that if someone is not willing to work on their NPD or to work through elements of their mental illness that strains your relationship, then they are not ready to be in a relationship. I got super lucky in that my partner was over-therapised tbh and so is able and willing to make the accommodations I mention here but that will not be the case for everyone. Think it through carefully. Everyone deserves love, but they should never feel like they need to sacrifice their own wellbeing to give it and get it in return. Be safe and look after yourself**

This is written for people in romantic relationships but with some editing, it could be useful for platonic relationships also

So, the first thing I want to explain is Narc crashes. Maybe you've heard about them, maybe you haven't but understanding them is, I think, the most important piece of groundwork you could have. Think of NPD as a hard shell over something very soft and gooey. Anything can cause the shell to crack, even the most gentle of taps. And those cracks can vary in size, so that sometimes only a little bit of the insides ooze out, and sometimes a lot pours out all at once. Someone with NPD has built their ego and external image to shelter a typically very young and fragile version of themselves. And when that shell breaks, it can feel like an attack on that weaker part. NPD crashes look different depending on the person. For me, as an example, I get this overwhelming feeling that I am going to be discarded and left alone. Which is particularly unhelpful in a romantic relationship but we'll get there. For other people, depending on the severity, they could lash out, get very defensive, or start having ideas about self harm and suicide. I don't really get that bad anymore, but I also haven't crashed so catastrophically in recent months.

On to specific advice!

Make a plan of what to do in the case of a crash. This can be anything from, 'tell me that you still love me and that you aren't going to leave' to 'leave me alone, I can't regulate around other people'. It could be physical comfort, it could be getting them something sweet to eat when they are calmer, or it could be a bath. Have a conversation about it when you are both in a good mental state and make a plan. Keep in mind the differences in severity so that you know what to do and how to react.

When you have a problem, bring it up gently and carefully. When they are doing something that you want to question or ask for them to do differently, remember that they will take it badly if you handle it wrong. I don't mean 'just let them do whatever they want forever'. That is both unhelpful and unrealistic. Of course there are going to be things you need to discuss. Just be cautious about your words being interpreted as a threat to them. This can be another thing you discuss together ahead of time so that you can formulate a way of phrasing such things in a way that they feel more comfortable with.

Keep your emotions under control. If you are mad at your partner with NPD for something, get a hold of that anger by yourself first and then bring it up with them when you are calmer. Getting angry at someone with NPD creates a loop of them feeding off your anger, getting anxious and overwhelmed by the perceived aggressive nature of the conversation, and immediately going into defense mode - which tends to make you angrier and then it just loops around again and no one benefits from that. I mean, I think this applies to all relationships but taking out your own emotional responses on your partner is especially damaging when they have NPD. It hurts us much more deeply and for much longer.

To break those things down to their base components, you need to have a lot of patience and emotional maturity. Which is a big ask, and I'm sure there are people out there who have made it work somehow without those things. I don't know of any personally, but I'm sure it has happened before. Either way, make sure that the relationship works for you too. If you have to go to all this effort for the one you love, they should be willing to do the work for you too.

People with NPD deserve to be loved, but no one deserves having to hurt themselves to keep loving the one who is doing that harm in the first place.

Mental health is complicated. Personality disorders are complicated. Frankly, people are complicated. Maybe some of what I've said is valuable to you and your partner, and maybe none of it is and you are still able to be in a healthy relationship, even if it looks different to mine. And that's great! As long as it works for you both, do whatever you want forever.

Just be safe and take care of yourself first and foremost.

[narcfyodor]

Saw this and I needed to write a post about it... the ask was originally sent to @uwufollia. This is the original post + response from him.

If someone says they're obsessive I'm assuming they have BPD, OLD or just a mental problem generally. If someone says they're compulsive I assume they have OCD. If someone says they're hyperactive I assume they have ADHD. If someone says they have anxiety I'll assume they have some type of anxiety disorder.

Is this not obvious?

When you call someone a narcissist I will assume that you are talking about a person with NARCISSISTIC personality disorder. That's why I hate people misusing stuff like this, not only narcissist and narcissistic. Narcissists, including myself, just pay special attention to it because of two reasons

1, it affects us directly

2, while for said stuff (hyperactive, compulsive, etc) it mostly watereddown and/or romanticized, narcissist is only a bad thing. People misuse narcissist to mean asshole, abuser, murder, dictator. I cannot tell someone I have a disorder, that I have because I went thru tremendous childhood trauma, without being accused of being a abuser, being looked at weirdly or being cut off. Is that not crazy to you? Is it not crazy to you to tell a whole group of people who are mentally ill and struggle with self-worth among other things, that they're assholes? You tell people npd "Hey I know you said you don't want people to misuse the name of your disorder to mean abusive. You also said that you want us to stop calling serial killers and murders the name of your disorder even tho they don't have it. Well actually YOU'RE the asshole for being mentally ill and having a disorder you didn't choose to have. I will continue using narcissistic to mean abusive" like what is this logic???

[npd-advice]

What is an NPD crash? I'm asking because I am not quite sure if I have experienced it, sometimes the way people talk about it doesn't feel relatable

While everyone has a different experience with it, an NPD crash is basically a major crash/deplete in self-esteem and self-worth. Crashes often make people suicidal and anxious. But again, it's different for everyone ^^

[th1rdt3chnician]

who up hating pop psychology

[livingfictionsystem]

A lot of pop psychology gets thrown around and since I already have a headache, here's preventing you lot from making it worse.

Love-bombing: A manipulation tactic of increasing affection and grand gestures before or after doing something abusive, specifically to weasel one's way out of consequences.

What it is not: A streak of affection and generosity towards friends/loved ones.

Trauma-bonding: Knowingly traumatizing someone to take advantage of their vulnerable state, to then act like the "hero" or the one who cheers them up.

What it is not: Bonding over similar traumas.

Gaslighting: *Knowingly* convincing someone they cannot trust their own perception of a situation in pursuit of one's own narrative.

What it is not: Misaligned perception of events.

Narcissist: Someone afflicted with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a traumagenic cluster B disorder, that struggles with self-obsession, paranoia, craving validity from the public, delusions of grandeur, and social disconnection.

It is not: Your rubbish ex that cheated on you.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

-Xanthe

[unbearable-swagger]

I will be like "I'm fine" and then another fucking event will occur

[solitaryschizoid]

neurotypicals will be like "you can't self diagnose" and then diagnose everyone they dislike as a narcissist

[starfallensyndicate]

Yeah. That kind of "I'm irreparably broken, I'll always hurt people, I'm doomed to be the evil one in every story"

does anyone else with npd/bpd sometimes feel genuinely evil, without real reason for it? i dont know how to explain it well, but its kind of like sometimes, when in an episode, it feels like someones injected rot directly into my heart. its not like guilt or shame or something, it just feels like something inside me is so incredibly wrong, to the point that it hurts

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is thinking that “it’s not ableist it’s just a word” anon should get the same treatment as that kid who called smth gay as an insult and to prove a point the teacher had the kids start using his name as an insult. like ok if you’re so ok with it let’s directly compare YOU specifically to every abuser and murderer since its soooo stupid to be frustrated by. surely you wouldn’t mind it’s just a name after all

.

[cemetary-shifts]

"everyone with npd is an evil person incapable of negative emotions" meanwhile im losing my fucking marbles because i accidentally misread one thing and responded incorrectly because of it and now i feel like the worst most horrible piece of shit to ever live

[the-bonfires-ember]

hey to all the people that are like 'i get that narcissistic abuse is demonising people with NPD but i wish we had a word for that kind of abuse that wasnt stigmatising' i have a tip for you.

its just abuse. emotional abuse if you want to be super specific but literally just call it abuse man. its fine. abuse is complex and frankly all the 'specific' terms are just as unspecific as 'abuse' by itself.

you arent gonna be able to glue two words together to make a great and perfectly clear definition of what you experienced because thats just not how abuse works. so just get used to it being a one word thing and something you have to explain if people want to hear about it

[autopsyfreak]

my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope

[narcfyodor]

"Hi please don't misuse narcis-" "YOU'RE A FUCKING ABUSER!!!!!"