#tw: abuse (mentioned)

[maryshelleysbigdickenergy]

Like OK we all love saving astarion and being his emotional support for when he has Big Feelings and it's relatable and whatever but also

Where is my fic where 50 years later, people are like "oh my God I'm so sorry you had to use your body like that" and astarions like "lmao sharess wishes she had my body count"

Where is "wow you must struggle with the guilt of having done all those terrible things" "Well yes I used to, but then I realized it's not Evil if it's Sexy"

Where is "how can you ever escape your past" "actually me and my past are friends with benefits, I love fucking myself over"

Where's the part of healing where everyone else is more traumatized by your baggage than you are, because you've already unpacked it a thousand times, and it's pretty light these days?

Where's the part of healing where you joke about your dark past and the audience is aghast but you're like "no its cool, we already processed it" ?

Because trauma isn't fixed, it's managed, it's permanent, which means at some point it's just part of your body. It becomes a unique facet, not a dominating feature. It's a fun inside joke, even, with the right personality. And I want that representation.

I want to be represented in that I'm NOT ashamed, I'm NOT scared, and I'm NOT somber when it comes to my history of abuse. It's just part of the story, and I broke the cycle, and now I get to laugh at my life experiences because I choose that. I choose to enjoy my life, and as my past is part of my life, I choose to enjoy that, too.

I'd like to see that for Astarion. He'd have some great lines.

[emotionaleating]

pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning

[kyojin-daelko]

{+}// Fun Fact: Kyojin is very much touch starved and can be an affectionate guy, however-- he is also uncomfortable with being touched due to past abuse. Given his status as a personal knight to the queen of Paix Haven, he has somewhat become a little bit more tolerable to physical contact. The passing of a hand on/around his shoulder from comrades is a normality for him now; the same can't be said when it comes to other people-- especially if their touch lingers for too long and/or he is caught off guard. He has since learned to expect it when in a social gathering.

When in such a situation he does very well to hide the fact that he has tensed up and at times is clenching his jaw. Those that know him, even if they do not know his past, are quick to intervein.

So what does this mean between our muses encountering each other? He will be upfront about his dislike of being touched if it comes into play and more often than not won't elaborate any further on the matter.

[galactic-rhea]

probably the only instance ever anakin dares to talk back; as a kid dfsdfdfdsg

first || prev ||

[tip jar!]

[anendtopursuit]

not to gush too much abt neil newbon's performance as astarion (and stephen rooney's writing for him) but like. he's discussed on streams before how conscious the decision to make him feel like he's constantly performing is (regardless of outcome; theatrical spawn astarion & operatic ascended astarion), and how stephen rooney leaned more into the whimsy and fun of the character based on things he saw in his portrayal (hence astarion progressively getting funnier and more charismatic through game development). but the thing that drives me absolutely mad tbh is the moments where all of it drops and he's suddenly so sincere, because it hits you like a truck to the face.

his voice going all soft and quiet and brittle when he describes cazador instructing his spawn to torture themselves. his mannerisms shifting from seductive and playful to a little more nervous. but the one that always gets me is in the graveyard romance scene, talking about what cazador has taken from him, how it was taken by force; "but he did take it," in this voice that's so full of sorrow that it almost sounds hollow, muffled by none of his usual pomp and theatricality, when even in cazador's palace his admissions of upset were sandwiched between attempts to brush it all off. dear god.

[cupcakeslushie]

Recovering your autonomy vs Completely cutting yourself off from your support system. FIGHT!

This happens sometime after the ongoing Kendra reunion comic, but not far enough along that the brothers have figured out how to navigate certain landmines.

Donnie is still re-adjusting to communicating his needs in a confident manner. Sometimes he gets a little too worked up, and lets the panic take over. He regrets the yelling later.

…The next morning

[teaboot]

When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".

It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.

It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".

Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.

When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.

It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.

That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.

That's how you process cattle.

It's fucking disgusting.

[incorrectbatfam]

I hate canon Bruce Wayne hitting his kids so how does he discipline them WITHOUT abuse?

(where's that post about how anything can be a punishment if you frame it as one)

———————

Dick: *breaks the chandelier while swinging from it*

Bruce: *hands him a broom*

Dick: Yeah that's fair.

Bruce: Also you have to use the Batman plate at dinner.

Dick: Please no, I hate that plate.

Bruce: You should've thought about that before.

———————

Tim: *logs into the Batcomputer without permission*

Bruce: And what do you think you're doing?

Tim: I know I've been benched but I just need to—

Bruce: Sit.

Tim: *sits down*

Bruce: *puts on The Bee Movie*

Bruce: If you insist on being down here while injured, then you're gonna watch this in its entirety.

———————

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: And you think that's an excuse?

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: We're going for a drive and I'm picking the music.

Cass: *blinks*

Bruce: Maybe you'll take this as a lesson.

———————

Jason: *causes a crime scene*

Jason: Go ahead, punish me. I'll still be right.

Bruce: *takes out a marker*

Bruce: *draws a mustache on Jason's helmet*

Bruce: It'll wash off in three weeks.

Jason: WHAT?!

Bruce: Actions have consequences.

———————

Steph: *breaks protocol*

Bruce: Go change your cape in the car.

Steph: That's not fair!

Bruce: That's the rule.

Steph: *grumbles and puts on a cape that's a slightly different shade of purple from the rest of her suit*

———————

Duke: *sneaks in after curfew*

Bruce: *flicks the light on*

Bruce: Do you know what time it is?

Duke: I can explain—

Bruce: Yogurt. Now.

Duke: But I don't want yogurt.

Bruce: I don't care. Go eat a cup of yogurt and think about what you did.

———————

Damian: *drops his fork at dinner*

Damian: Fuck.

Bruce: *pulls out a straw*

Damian: You wouldn't.

Bruce: *takes a sip of Damian's drink*

Damian: I hate this family.

Dick, eating off the Bat-plate: You and me both.

[uncanny-tranny]

Honestly, there is a certain type of fetishizing of violence that occurs when you are the victim of abuse - wherein people talk directly to you about how much they fantasize about your abuser/s dying and being killed - "all abusers must be killed!" they say.

As a victim of prolonged abuse, I never felt cared for when people indulged that information to me. It often feels like my abuse is being exploited for others to enact their own violent fantasies and secret desires - my abuse means nothing to them in the same way that I didn't matter to my abusers. It's not support - it's just another cycle of violence.

I'm begging people to care more about victims and survivors than they do about retribution of abusers. Nowhere along the way should your focus on the abuser outweigh the people affected by their abuse. If you truly want to support abuse victims and survivors, start with us

[sin-esthezia]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other LESS stigmatized mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[genderqueerdykes]

women are capable of abusing men, people gotta snap out of this.

my sister is 13 years older than me. i've always had an estranged relationship with her, but once i learned about how she has treated her 2 husbands, i became utterly disturbed. her first husband was a very kind, quiet man who put together computers and played trumpet. he had big dreams to become a professional trumpet player. not only did my sister constantly mock him for this, but she also mocked him for having no interest in sex. he was very likely asexual and she tormented him over this

her second husband was also very kind and she treated him like absolute shit as well. he has since passed, but while he was living, she would threaten to physically assault him when he got on her nerves. once in the car with her, she told me she told him "If I snap and hit you, nobody will believe you. You can go to the cops all you want, but they'll laugh at you and won't believe you for saying you as a 6' tall man got beat up by a 5' 4" woman."

my sister is not physically weak. she does a lot of DIY projects by herself. she very well could injure someone gravely if she tried. my sister also constantly misgenders me and talks down to me for being a man and not wanting to call me that. i am physically disabled and she has yelled at me before for not shoveling snow for her, and telling me that if i'm a man i need to "Act like one" which in her mind meant do physical labor. she would get pissed off at our neighbors who were men because they wouldn't automatically try to help her with her yardwork and chores.

this isn't accounting for the shit that my mom did, either. i have one very vivid memory of her smacking me so hard my jaw clicked out of place.

women can be assholes. women can be abusive. we have to stop pretending this doesn't happen because the victims of this abuse never get to talk about their experiences. we can't continue to let shit like this happen. women can hurt people. acknowledge this

[shamebats]

If you only ever mention trans mascs & men in relation to misogyny when you want to talk about how we're capable of being misogynistic (which wow you've discovered that afab people can be sexist? good job, I learned that at like 11 probably but I'm glad you got there eventually) and never in terms of how we're affected & harmed by it, how it puts us at risk of being sexually abused & exploited by family members, partners & in workplaces, forcefully detransitioned, forced into unwanted pregnancies, murdered etc, then I don't trust you and don't consider you an ally to trans people btw

[emotionaleating]

[carto0ncritter]

One thing I noticed in this shitshow of an episode is how fucking ungrateful Stolas was for everything Blitzø did for him since he came to his place.

Him being a spoiled rich white asshole:

I hate his facial expressions so much, you have no idea

I can guarantee you care about these 'nice things' more than you care about your daughter btw

Oh, we also have, let's see here...

*insert the entire montage of Blitzø (Stolas' victim) trying to cheer his abuser up since he's now in love with him thanks to good ol' Stockholm Syndrome*

Seeing that cigarette reminds me of when Stolas uh... *checks notes* called Blitz an 'itty bitty imp (racist)' despite him clearly hating it, grabbed his cheek and used his horn to put out his cigarette (not to mention Blitzø's severe trauma being related to fucking fire)

Okay so anyway, I think Stolas said "Oh, when have you ever asked" bc Blitzø stole from him and his family 25 years ago. correct me if I'm wrong here but isn't it manipulative af to bring up smth that happened that long ago, also it's totally unrelated to the current situation. I swear it's like a grown ass man saying to another "Oh I still hate you because, uhm, remember that one time in 3rd grade when you stole my pencil..."

So... if Stolas still holds this against Blitzø, let me ask: why was he ever "in love" with him in the first place? Answer? He wasn't. Stolas only used this imp for his sexual fantasies and for him to get to experience his "fairytale romance"

P.S. Imps are a race his privileged ass has always been racist towards and he hasn't ever attempted to, uh... try to understand them better? Understand how they live? I mean if you truly cared about your "boyfriend," Stolas, you'd have put in SOME effort to change your mindset/behavior and WOULDN'T HAVE EVER SEXUALLY COERCED HIM

He also r@p*d you blitz

And no he didn't do much, he's powerful af. Using those powers isn't rocket science heck he turned an imp to stone in s1 he can protect himself but is apparently the "bottom" in the stolitz "relationship". Also no, him leaving Octavia clearly isn't a huge deal to Stolas otherwise he'd have fought to earn her forgiveness and not just sulk like a wimpy loser. YOU ARE NOT ONLY A GROWN MAN STOLAS, BUT A FATHER. At least you were supposed to be

So was not thinking about your daughter until you lost everything, apparently

AGAIN WITH THIS SHIT??? WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT A TRANSACTION AGAIN

Alright I'm signing off until the next season drops, if that ever happens

This episode sucked, but kudos to our girl Via who was smart enough to see through her "father's" bs 👏

ALSO HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO THE CRITICAL COMMUNITY (and to non-toxic stans too)!

[scrapoddles]

davekat takes on fatherhood

[lostmf]

I’m not sure I deserve it ..