#system vent blog

[vent-antiendo]

Welcome!

This is a safe space for all anti endos to vent.

We made this blog because we've been getting harassed by endos because we vented on our blog. Vent blogs are just safer if you don't want to get threats and such.

--> You can vent about anything here, sys related or not. We'll tag accordingly.

(We do ask that you put a tw on the top of your ask if needed.)

!! We are cluster b, and do not experience empathy, sympathy, guilt or remorse.

We can be blunt because of it, but we mean no harm. And if we do, it'll be obvious, and only because you harm us first.

If you treat us with respect, we will treat you with respect.* If we perceive any attack, we'll bite back, though.

--> We are pro educated self diagnosis.

--> Please note that we do not support radqueers on this blog.

--> We won't put a lot of tags under posts tagged with #vent, because this is a place for you to let out your feelings, not focused on trying to get as much interaction as possible. It also keeps this blog under the radar of certain reddit groups for longer.

--> If anything is unclear, send us an ask and we'll get back to you as soon as possible!

DNI: pro/endos, pro/radqueers (AHARQ/harmless "transids" are fine though), proshippers, racists, queerphobes, ableists, Cluster B abuse believers, anti educated self-dx, and just the basic DNI list really.

*Because of our personality, we try to mask when you send in an ask, to come across as nice and caring as possible. While we don't feel genuine sympathy, we want to try to support you.

[lemony-ink]

"demedicalizing" complex dissociative disorders caused by severe and repeated trauma is wild

[haunted-house-sys]

Cutely blocking pro endos and other nontraumgens on SIGHT

We are anti endo and other non traumgens + those who support them...

We dont actively discuss syscourse on our blog, and will continue not to. Why?

BECAUSE IT'S PROTECTING OUR MENTAL HEALTH.

If y'all are coming at us to "uh ACTUALLY ☝️🤓" us we will block y'all on the topic of endos, tulpas, all that other bull.

We will look in from afar, and talk about it with our partner system, but that's the extent of it.

Listen...

We dont care if you are "built different" or "systems just happen without trauma"

Fucking BULLSHIT.

Who are YOU to tell that to those of us who had to face YEARS of utter HELL when we were only JUST KIDS?! "Uhm actually were a system too without the trauma" "we wanted this!"

NO TF YOU DONT. Being a system if FUCKING HELL. Get the fuck off our blog and get the fuck off our posts...

....

Hi.. this was Illya with a BPD episode stemmed from the utter searing hot anger that boiled through my veins after seeing an endo "um actually" me... fuck y'all...

[stellichor-system]

Playing the game of "are those intrusive thoughts or another alter" :'D

[the-bar-sinister]

The queer platonic question brought up something that I've been struggling to talk about, which is like, that there's a word to describe something about myself that I've always kind of known, but played off as a joke, or an thought I must be unconsciously exaggerating, or that there was some connection I was just missing.

Aplatonic.

Even before I found out there was a word for it– that it was something other people experienced– I was getting the strong sense that there was something "wrong" with the way that I interacted with people that I got close to.

A few years ago I made the deliberate choice to stop letting myself get very close and intimate with people I met online, because inevitably, again and again, I would get a crush on them, and fall in love with them. And I would fail to understand what– in hindsight– were completely normal boundaries of intimacy between friendship and romance. 

I don't know how to interact casually with someone I'm close to without flirting with them. I don't know how to care about someone without wanting to kiss them, and brush their hair and take them dancing, and solve their problems, etc etc.

And it was seriously complicating my life– which at this point is comfortably married and settled– so I just sort of stopped.

I've gotten better at managing it for the last while, just by being aware of it.

Learning that 'aplatonic' is a thing you can be has helped me understand and manage myself, just by having a word for it.

For one thing, it's made "platonic shipping" and "friend shipping" and "familial shipping" and platonic F/Os in fandom make a whole lot more sense to me.

It makes my enemies to lovers fixation make a whole lot more sense too.

I genuinely didn't– and still don't, emotionally– understand how you can want two characters to have an intense relationship that *isn't* romantic.

But I understand that there's this whole experience of attraction that I'm missing out on and that that's what other people are experiencing and expressing.

I don't really have an end to this post. It's something that I'm still struggling to communicate, and figure out what it means beyond the obvious way I've been living with it my whole life.

Thanks for having patience with me.

[starfallsystemblog2]

this girl clames to support disabled people yet she is stereotyping ppl with aspd and using a term (“delulu”) as an insult

got called a sociopath bc i told her that she is stereotyping ppl that are actually diagnosed sociopaths

i am in-fact a medically recognized narcissist and borderline im just in favor of not stereotyping people

heres the video

[bpdcodone]

I crave your affections but you stab me with your cruelties

[moondollz-cafe]

As a caregiver and regressor one thing i am tired of is finding a little/caregiver i genuinely care about and i tell them disorders i have and they say they are okay with that but the second i become unstable and have dni in my bio they spam me and then get pissy when i dont respond or when i show symptoms of being mentally ill they suddenly ghost me… like come on you knew what you were getting into. maybe if i didnt have any disorders i would have stable relationships

- Dillweed | any pronouns

[vent-antiendo]

Not really a vent but like...

How are you as an "endo" gonna be against radqueers?!?!?! I genuinely believe that most endos are either trolling or genuinely a system who believes their trauma isn't "bad enough" or just doesn't remember their trauma, but THE WILLOWGENICS???

I've seen literal "build a headmate" (????) blogs with radqueers in their dni. How the hell is MAKING A LITERAL ALTER NOT CONSIDERED TRANSID??? MY SIBLING IN CHRIST

Literally exactly that.

[urdarlingangel]

the autism bpd bipolar did mixture is so weird because the autism makes it so i completely misunderstand everyone and their tone, the bipolar makes me get so uptight and pissed off instantly because i misunderstand people's tones and meanings, the bpd makes me hate their guts because of rhis, and the did makes me dissociate so hard that i forget what even happened so now i'm just pissed off at seemingly nothing

please tell me this is relateable (i hate being so disordered)

[antiendovents]

I SAW A FUCKING ENDO MAKE A POST AND THEY SAID "YOU DONT HAVE TO HAVE A DISOCIATIVE DISORDER TO BE A SYSTEM :3" like they love spreading blatent misinformation what are u fucking talking about im ACTUALLY going to kill them

wha.. thats just stupid. You do need a dissociative disorder to have alters, since alters are created through dissociation and trauma...

[thatswhatsushesaid]

/exhales

the main reason i just can't get onboard with n!eyao is probably the same reason i'm never going to be able to get on with tgcf's beefle@f: the way their dynamic is described in the fanon discourse--which, to be clear, is something i would absolutely be feral for--is just. not. remotely reflective of what is actually going on in the source material.

i'm sorry!! i'm a buzzkill, i know!! please don't @ me with "if you're just interested in what happens in canon, then why are you reading fan fiction or looking at fanart" because i promise you i have been @'d with this before, i have been lectured and condescended to PLENTY of times on this point, i'm immune to it. i am absolutely here for transformative works, and i've even described in the past the few ways i *could* get onboard with (mainly cql-canon) n!eyao. an examination of the one-sided psychosexual obsession of it all on nmj's part, for example, is actually hanging out in my drafts folder right now, i just need to summon up the energy (and the interest lbr) to finish it and smash post.

but the essential components of what makes a ship interesting to me--the mutual interest in each other, the emotional attachment that makes them seek each other out simply because it is what they want to do, the text-based evidence of a relationship--that just... is not there. i wish it was! but it isn't.

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc

[sysventing]

We are fully allowed to curate our experience here, and that includes this specific side blog. We are fully allowed to block those who make us uncomfortable or trigger us. And we are FULLY allowed to disallow interaction from a group of people who actively harm minors, poc, animals, and disabled folx.

The idea that we’re not allowed to keep ourselves safe on this blog is wild. Sorry if some of you feel “excluded” but I’m totally fine excluding folx who actively harm others and hide behind the “queer” label.

Yes this is a vent.

Also follow @ex-rq-infirmary

Mod Bat 🦇

[little-saw]

Tw?? Anyway systems PLEASE interact I need help !!

Systems I have a question, first of all I'm SUPER uneducated when it comes to this, so bear with me please..

When I regress into small space, I feel as though I am not my big space me.. like I feel like little me vs big me are two different people, and there's been occasions where my cg has mentioned when I'm tiny, I will talk about my big self as if they are a separate entity, doesn't anyone know what that means?

I understand that most systems develop from trauma, and I def have trauma that's affected my brain development, but I don't have anything like other people in my head, besides this. And also, when I'm in little space, my inner dialogue also becomes babyish, so I'm not sure.

Anyway if anyone could help, I'd really appreciate it, it's making me super anxious

[cavityzteeth]

i don't want to eat or drink or do anything. i feel no motivation to shower or take care of myself. i hate myself. i hate my body. i hate everything about myself. even things i usually enjoy feel pointless and i don't want to do them.

i'm so worthless and unstable that no one even cares about me anymore. not even her. i must be that fucking terrible.

even yesterday after the reassurance she gave me. it all seems performative now.

i'm just going to stop texting her entirely on everything and see if she cares.