#social anxiety struggle

[girltalkcollectives]

The Fear of Being Called On

Let me paint you a picture of what social anxiety really looks like, because apparently some professors still don’t get it.

There I was, second day of class, sitting in my usual spot (back row, closest to the door — my fellow anxiety girlies know exactly why). The homework was done. Actually, it was more than done. I’d spent three hours the night before making sure I understood every single detail, highlighting important points, writing notes in the margins. Because that’s what we do, right? We over-prepare just to feel slightly less terrified.

But then it happened.

“Why don’t you explain this concept to the class?”

My name, hanging in the air like a death sentence. Twenty heads turning to look at me. The familiar wave of panic washing over me — heart racing, palms sweating, throat closing up. You know that feeling when your mind goes completely blank? Like someone just wiped your brain clean? Yeah. That.

And suddenly I’m rambling. The words are coming out all wrong. Everything I studied, everything I KNEW, turned into this jumbled mess of half-formed thoughts. I can hear myself talking, but it’s like I’m outside my body, watching this trainwreck happen in slow motion.

But the worst part? The absolute worst part wasn’t even the public humiliation. It was what happened after class.

Picture this: The professor pulls me aside, looks at me with that condescending smile (you know the one), and says, “If you don’t get it together, you’re getting a 0. You need to do the work.”

Let that sink in.

I did the work.

I ALWAYS do the work.

The work isn’t the problem.

MY ANXIETY IS THE PROBLEM.

I tried to explain. God, I tried. “I have social anxiety and so I have problems with public speaking,” I said, my voice shaking. “It’s hard for me to articulate my thoughts when I’m put on the spot.” Basic anxiety 101, right?

Her response? “It doesn’t seem like you did the work.”

EXCUSE ME?

Do you want to see my highlighted textbook? My color-coded notes? The three hours of work I did last night? The sleep I lost preparing for a class I was terrified to attend?

But here’s what I couldn’t say in the moment, what I wish I had screamed: Having social anxiety doesn’t mean I’m lazy. It doesn’t mean I’m unprepared. It means my brain literally fights against me every time I have to speak in public. It means I can know something inside and out but completely freeze when all eyes are on me.

So yeah, I dropped the class.

And before anyone comes at me with “you’re letting anxiety win” or “you need to push through it” — save it. Sometimes protecting your mental health means walking away. Sometimes self-care looks like saying “this environment is toxic for me” and choosing a different path.

To my girls out there dealing with social anxiety: I see you. I see you doing twice the work just to feel half as prepared. I see you picking seats based on escape routes. I see you having full conversations in your head that turn into gibberish the moment you have to speak them out loud.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not stupid.

You’re not unprepared.

You’re dealing with an anxiety disorder that people still refuse to understand.

And to that professor: I hope you read this. I hope you realize that somewhere in your classroom right now is another girl like me, doing all the work but drowning in fear. Maybe next time, instead of assuming she’s unprepared, consider that she might be fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Because let me make one thing crystal clear: My anxiety might make me stumble over my words, but it doesn’t make me any less capable, any less intelligent, or any less worthy of respect.

I dropped your class, but I’m not dropping my voice. This is me, speaking up about social anxiety, without stuttering, without fear — because writing lets me say what my anxiety won’t let me.

And to everyone reading this who gets it, who lives it, who feels it: You’re not alone. Your anxiety is real. Your struggles are valid. And don’t let anyone — especially not some teacher who doesn’t understand mental health — make you feel otherwise. 

This is bigger than one bad class experience. This is about a system that still doesn’t understand what anxiety does to us. And I’m done being quiet about it.

[stuckinapril]

It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed

[silence-ofdeath]

“I am alone with my own thoughts and it’s dangerous.”

-cress

[creativity-deficient]

South Park fans! How many things do you have in common with your favorite character(s)? I’m curious!!

[angelellipsis-devilofdots]

oh you have social anxiety disorder? is that a reference to drinking song for the socially anxious by the amazi

[syn0vial]

some snapshots of boba fett being a socially anxious mess in legacy of the force

facing some of the galaxy's most ruthless and hardened killers in combat? no problem 👌 having a heartfelt conversation in a room with friends and family? RUN!! 🏃🏃

"am i allowed to call my best friend by his first name when we're at his house? if i get the answer wrong, it is equivalent to me stepping on a landmine and exploding btw"

the thought of having anything like a family or social circle is terrifying to him. loneliness is a much more familiar and thus comfortable experience.

this is a sad one. trying to interact with other people in a way that isn't predicated on violence (whether for or to them) feels so alien and daunting to fett that he feels like he's incapable of it. (it's also one of the many moments in which fett is an unreliable narrator of his own character development bc what do you think you've been doing for the past three books, idiot)

and finally, one of the (several) moments in the series that implies he usually relies on beviin and/or medrit to handle daunting social interactions for him :`) he's very lucky to have them!

[study-diaries]

When your "I'm only comfortable with people i know" type of person is interpreted as "I'm too good for everyone and everything except those whom i approve of" like, no no no, i really wanna participate in the parties and dancing and your fun activities etc etc but in front of everyone ??? Nah I'll pass. Just let me sit in peace and enjoy the damn event.

[motherofmisfits]

Reminder for those who need it:

It's okay to pick your battles. And just because you can, doesn't mean you have to.

Were you able to talk to the cashier and order your own food last week, but today you'd rather just write it down? That's okay. It doesn't make you an inconvenience. It's the same outcome either way and it's worth it if it saves you the anxiety.

Were stairs easy for you yesterday, but today your knees are bothering you? Go ahead and take the elevator. All that matters is you get where you need to. You're not being lazy. You're being efficient.

Promised yourself you'd start cooking meals but can't find the energy today? Eat that microwave meal. Food is food. The main thing is you get something in you. You're not letting yourself go. Eating is taking care of yourself.

There are no thresholds of struggling needed to justify accommodations or doing something a different way. If it makes things easier, then do it.

You're not lazy. You're not over-dramatic. You're not faking. You're not "chronically online." You didn't lose progress. You're not back at square one or giving up on yourself.

You're brave for doing what's best for you. You're strong for taking care of yourself. You're clever for finding ways that make life easier for you.

It's okay to pick your battles.

It's okay not to do something, even if you can.

It's okay if you are struggling.

You don't have to be "*insert disorder* enough."

You're doing great, and I'm so proud of you. <3

[aromantyczno-liryczna]

I am not here to entertain anyone.

"What if they think I'm weird? What if they think I'm boring? What if they think I'm shy? What if they think I'm quiet?"

I am not here to entertain anyone.

I'm not put here on this earth to entertain anyone.

If I can't talk or don't feel like talking, or I can't be myself fully in this situation, it's fine.

I'm not here to entertain anyone.

[stiffyck]

You know when you know a person who you could see yourself being friends with if they weren't such a cunt-

[sleeplessv0id]

when you're a, 'communication is key,' person, but no words come out when you try because you feel deeply embarrassed and ashamed of your feelings, but at the same time, everyone should feel comfortable talking to you because you love them and want to know how they feel and if you can help them.

[silence-ofdeath]

[best-of-theworst]

My personal space is around 5 kilometers in every direction. Just don't come close to me, please leave me alone.

[the-paris-of-people]

The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.

All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????

And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???

[natasha-in-space]

hi:) um can i ask a slightly angst fic where the reader don't have a job because of her social anxiety and so she's v embarrassed when talking with people and when she joins RFA even more so cuz they're all successful and busy. Can you make it slight Seven/MC? I hope that's okay 🙃

"You feeling okay?"

You jolted, feeling like your heart was just about to jump straight out of your chest with how hard it was pounding against your ribcage. Really, it was silly of you to react like that. The party venue was full of attractive people dressed in fancy evening attire: dancing, laughing, drinking, and networking. As a party coordinator, it was a given for someone to eventually start up a conversation with you. And yet... No matter how hard your brain tried to rationalize every little thing around you, it never truly helped.

You didn't belong here. All of these people... Hell, even the rest of the RFA! They held themselves up with such confidence, they talked with such grace and they didn't have to worry about their standing at all. And, who were you? Just an anxious mess who couldn't even function properly in a completely normal social interaction. What were you even doing here-?

You swiftly turned around, meeting a pair of golden eyes staring right at you behind his signature glasses. Seven... Speaking of, you didn't even see him since the party started. Did he notice how pale your face has gotten? How tightly your fingers gripped the champagne glass you didn't drink from even once ever since you first took it from the tray to busy your trembling hands with something? How your breathing was too shallow and quick to satisfy your desperate need for fresh air in your lungs? You hoped not.

Say something-!

"I- Uh-" You barely managed to choke out, your throat closing in before you could utter a single word, your mind feeling like it was too overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. There were too many eyes, too many people, too many voices. It was too bright, too loud, too crowded. Your clothes were too tight, the fabric was too itchy, and your skin was too clammy. It was all... too much.

"I- I'm fine."

You were obviously not fine.

Seven's brows furrowed, though you barely registered it through the panicked fog that took over all of your senses. And, even if you did notice it, you'd probably think that he assumed you were weird and off-putting or something. That's what you would have thought of yourself in his shoes, anyway. You knew you were failing this, and failing this miserably... You knew you needed to get out of here, you knew you needed some peace and quiet to ground yourself, and yet-

And yet, you were too damn frozen to do anything. Your body and mind were begging you for an escape, but they didn't let you do anything to achieve that escape. What kind of sick joke is that?

"...C'mon." You didn't even detect Seven's voice in your ears. You just gasped as you felt someone gently nudge your arm and start leading you away. So, you stumbled along, your breathing shallow and your legs tripping over themselves as you were being led down the dimly lit corridor somewhere you couldn't see. He was quiet as you two walked alongside each other, his grip on your arm tightening from time to time to keep you steady, making occasional small pauses for you to regain your footing.

You wouldn't notice any of these small details until much, much later, once your mind had cleared up again.

Finally, you briefly heard the sound of a door opening, before a rush of fresh air hit you right in the face, almost making you choke on it from the pure abruptness of it. You didn't even notice how stuffy it was on the inside until you got a taste of what it was like on the outside. Two warm hands lightly pushed you down, and you let them, feeling yourself being seated onto a small wooden bench. It felt so good to no longer have to stand and keep your weight up. You let your head lean back as you closed your eyes and let yourself finally breathe.

God, each breath of fresh night air felt like true paradise right now.

A few minutes passed by until you felt yourself slowly coming back to earth, more or less. You still felt anxious and incredibly tired, your heart racing on the inside of your chest. But, at least you could move again, albeit shakily. You could speak. You could see. You could breathe.

Speaking of... You quickly turned your attention to a fellow redheaded RFA member that was sitting beside you, his gaze turned upwards towards the night sky.

"...Seven?" You decided to say something, your voice weak and raspy.

He turned his attention back towards you, a warm smile gracing his features. It was strange. You knew Seven wasn't all jokes and laughter, but you also weren't expecting him to be so... caring once you finally met him face-to-face. It made your heart race for a different reason from before.

"Are you feeling better now? I can bring you some water if you want." He replied, holding your nervous gaze.

Why are you so nice to me...? You wanted to ask, as you hang your head low, starting to anxiously fiddle with the ends of your outfit. Instead, you just shook your head. "A-A bit later. I'm... Uh..."

"You're not ready to go back out there. I get it." He finished your train of thought for you, returning his gaze toward the sky. It made you breathe a small sigh of relief, grateful to be free of any kind of attention right now.

Wait... Did he do it on purpose-?

"I... I'm sorry." You mumbled, biting onto your lower lip. "I should be there right now, talking with our guests and making sure the party is a success... And yet, here I am. Some kind of party coordinator I am."

Your words were laced with bitterness and frustration, centered around nobody but yourself. All you wanted was to be... normal. To stop feeling like every single person in the room hated your guts for simply existing. To be able to function properly. Why was it so goddamn hard!?

Seven sighed, glancing at you briefly before looking away once again. He seemed to be thinking about what to say to you. You never thought you'd see him not knowing how to reply to something. He was always so energetic and all over the place in the chatrooms or on the calls with you... But, this side of him was... new.

You appreciated seeing it.

"It's... terrifying to try and act tough when you feel like there is danger waiting on every turn. You have to pretend that everything's going great when all you really want to do is to run and hide yourself away somewhere nobody could ever find you." He started slowly, carefully. Almost like he was thinking over every single word he spoke, cautious not to say too much. You wondered what it was that he was avoiding so meticulously. "I saw that look in your eyes, and I knew what you were feeling on the inside. It's a look I... Well, let's just say, it's not something unfamiliar to me."

You were surprised to hear that. Seven? Being familiar with such anxiety? The same Seven who would laugh the loudest out of everyone in the group, or make a fool of himself with a confident grin on his face? You found it hard to believe.

He continued his line of thought before you could question it, though.

"Listen... I know you feel like you don't belong. And, I mean... I can understand that." He chuckled, shaking his head a little. "Practically everyone in our group is impressive in one way or another. Some, in ways a normal person couldn't even imagine. It would be pretty overwhelming to anybody to get thrown into your position."

You furrowed your brows, your fingers stopping their fiddling as you got too focused on your own thoughts. "A normal person wouldn't freeze up at a party that they themselves are supposed to be responsible for. Or fail at keeping a job for any longer than a month without completely breaking down."

"None of this could be possible without you joining the RFA, Y/N." Seven replied, now looking straight at you, his expression oddly serious. He just continued to surprise you the more time you spent together. "I know more about you than I should. I'm not... proud of it, but the least I can do is use this knowledge to help you. I know you struggle with some things. And yes, you did get too overwhelmed there. But, everything's okay now. The party is a success. Thanks to you. Thanks for your efforts. Nothing is ruined. The guests are happy, and we raised a lot of money that will be used for a good cause to those who are in need. Rika's legacy continues. None of this could be possible without you. Don't belittle yourself for this."

You just stared at him, not knowing what to say. Not knowing what you could say. You could feel tears welling up in the corners of your eyes as you swallowed the lump forming in the middle of your throat. "But... But I-"

"You're a member of the RFA, Y/N. Whatever struggles you're going through... We're all going to be there for you when you need it. In fact, I'm sure everyone is very worried about you right now." He gave you a small reassuring smile, patting you on the shoulder. "Don't be afraid to rely on us. Just like everyone relied on you. We're here for you. And... I'm here for you, too."

You would hold onto those words. Just like you found yourself holding onto his arm for the rest of the night, finding his warm presence warming and reassuring.

You weren't alone in this. And, even though you had no idea what you were doing, you knew you had people who would always be there to catch you when you fell.

[erabundus]

HAPPY BLOG ANNIVERSARY!

it's  officially  midnight  here,  which  means  i'm  allowed  to  post  this!  so ...  happy  one  year  anniversary  of  enduring  the  plague  of  avalon  upon  your  dashboards!  alternatively,  thank  you  so  much  for  giving  me  a  place  to  babble  about  my  #1  favorite  comfort  character  who  has  experienced  zero  comfort.  (  i  swear  i  am  being  SO  NORMAL  about  this.  yes i did literally buy  cake  and  party  hats.  )  whether  we  speak  on  the  daily,  you've  just  gotten  here  or  anywhere  in  between,  i  want  to  extend  my  sincerest  gratitude  for  being  on  this  absolutely  wild  ride  of  a  blog  with  me.  there's  been  ups  and  downs,  but  ultimately  i  feel  like  my  passion  for  writing  has  been  ignited  stronger  than  it's  ever  been  before.  i  am  still  always  so  excited  whenever  i  get  the  chance  to  log  on  here  and  create  stories  with  all  of  you  —  and  i  wouldn't  have  that  opportunity  if  it  wasn't  for  this little  corner  of  the  internet  you've  helped  make truly special.

there  are  so  many  of  you  i  feel  lucky  to  have  met.  (  and  so  many  i  would  love  to  get  to  know  better,  too!  )  i  hope  we  can  continue  writing  together  for  many  more  anniversaries  to  come.  and  if  the  day  ever  comes  that  they  finally  pull  the  plug  on  this  cockroach  of  a  hellsite,  i'll  forever remember  this  community  as  the  rpc  that  got me to  laugh  at  petrichor.

have  a  wonderful  day  /  night!  i'm  sharing  the  cake  with  everyone  in  spirit.