#social anxiety struggle
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The Fear of Being Called On
Let me paint you a picture of what social anxiety really looks like, because apparently some professors still don’t get it.
There I was, second day of class, sitting in my usual spot (back row, closest to the door — my fellow anxiety girlies know exactly why). The homework was done. Actually, it was more than done. I’d spent three hours the night before making sure I understood every single detail, highlighting important points, writing notes in the margins. Because that’s what we do, right? We over-prepare just to feel slightly less terrified.
But then it happened.
“Why don’t you explain this concept to the class?”
My name, hanging in the air like a death sentence. Twenty heads turning to look at me. The familiar wave of panic washing over me — heart racing, palms sweating, throat closing up. You know that feeling when your mind goes completely blank? Like someone just wiped your brain clean? Yeah. That.
And suddenly I’m rambling. The words are coming out all wrong. Everything I studied, everything I KNEW, turned into this jumbled mess of half-formed thoughts. I can hear myself talking, but it’s like I’m outside my body, watching this trainwreck happen in slow motion.
But the worst part? The absolute worst part wasn’t even the public humiliation. It was what happened after class.
Picture this: The professor pulls me aside, looks at me with that condescending smile (you know the one), and says, “If you don’t get it together, you’re getting a 0. You need to do the work.”
Let that sink in.
I did the work.
I ALWAYS do the work.
The work isn’t the problem.
MY ANXIETY IS THE PROBLEM.
I tried to explain. God, I tried. “I have social anxiety and so I have problems with public speaking,” I said, my voice shaking. “It’s hard for me to articulate my thoughts when I’m put on the spot.” Basic anxiety 101, right?
Her response? “It doesn’t seem like you did the work.”
EXCUSE ME?
Do you want to see my highlighted textbook? My color-coded notes? The three hours of work I did last night? The sleep I lost preparing for a class I was terrified to attend?
But here’s what I couldn’t say in the moment, what I wish I had screamed: Having social anxiety doesn’t mean I’m lazy. It doesn’t mean I’m unprepared. It means my brain literally fights against me every time I have to speak in public. It means I can know something inside and out but completely freeze when all eyes are on me.
So yeah, I dropped the class.
And before anyone comes at me with “you’re letting anxiety win” or “you need to push through it” — save it. Sometimes protecting your mental health means walking away. Sometimes self-care looks like saying “this environment is toxic for me” and choosing a different path.
To my girls out there dealing with social anxiety: I see you. I see you doing twice the work just to feel half as prepared. I see you picking seats based on escape routes. I see you having full conversations in your head that turn into gibberish the moment you have to speak them out loud.
You’re not lazy.
You’re not stupid.
You’re not unprepared.
You’re dealing with an anxiety disorder that people still refuse to understand.
And to that professor: I hope you read this. I hope you realize that somewhere in your classroom right now is another girl like me, doing all the work but drowning in fear. Maybe next time, instead of assuming she’s unprepared, consider that she might be fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Because let me make one thing crystal clear: My anxiety might make me stumble over my words, but it doesn’t make me any less capable, any less intelligent, or any less worthy of respect.
I dropped your class, but I’m not dropping my voice. This is me, speaking up about social anxiety, without stuttering, without fear — because writing lets me say what my anxiety won’t let me.
And to everyone reading this who gets it, who lives it, who feels it: You’re not alone. Your anxiety is real. Your struggles are valid. And don’t let anyone — especially not some teacher who doesn’t understand mental health — make you feel otherwise.
This is bigger than one bad class experience. This is about a system that still doesn’t understand what anxiety does to us. And I’m done being quiet about it.
Link to our website: https://girltalkcollectives.com/
#social anxiety#anxiety story#college trauma#professor stories#mental health#anxiety in college#girl talk#anxiety thoughts#personal story#anxiety is real#mental health awareness#social anxiety struggle#college anxiety#academic trauma#classroom anxiety#anxiety attack#public speaking#public speaking anxiety#speaking up#girl thoughts#professors be like#anxiety experience#relatable anxiety#college life#student struggles#women supporting women#anxiety valid#gen z problems#class anxiety#anxiety culture
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It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed
#It’s easy to reduce people to side characters or caricatures but you never know. You truly never know what someone’s going through or what#Could push them over the edge. Cruelty will never be worth potentially causing someone permanent damage#I’ve realized this after having a conversation w a friend of mine who sailed straight to med school#Tons of leadership roles#Thriving social life#Yet she just told me her hair was falling out from anxiety. Never in a million years would I have guessed that she was struggling#But she was and lots of people play things close to their chest like that#I really wanna be kind each time I can and to also come from a place of compassion#Bc ik I’ve been misunderstood by people before who reduced me to a caricature or just didn’t know what was happening in my life#I want to actively work on extending the benefit of the doubt to the same people I would want to extend the benefit of the doubt to me
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“I am alone with my own thoughts and it’s dangerous.”
-cress
#feeling sad#kinda depressing#mental health#social anxiety#social anxious#anxi4ty#not enough#school destroyed me#struggling mentally#i'm sad#im cryin#overthinking#tw depressing stuff#not okay#anxienty#this is depressing#mommy issues#sorry for being depressing#daddy issues#parent issues#my mind is killing me
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South Park fans! How many things do you have in common with your favorite character(s)? I’m curious!!
#So like Tweek I struggle with anxiety#I get can very jittery/twitchy too sometimes#though not as badly as him lol#I feel like I’m never able to express myself properly and can often be misunderstood#ESPECIALLY by my parents#I’d probably describe myself as sweet/sensitive#I worry a lot about both myself and others#but I can also be very snarky 😭😭#I also tend to be insecure and need validation sometimes#and I have a very active mind#and a lack of social awareness 😭😭#KENNY on the other hand#I tend to rely on my friendships a lot#I take a lot of comfort in them and struggle with the idea of not having them around#and id probably consider myself a pretty protective person too at times#and once I’m comfortable around you I have a pretty chaotic/laidback type of personality#asides from that though I tend to stay in the background/not talk as much#south park#tweek tweak#kenny mccormick#honestly theres probably more but these are the ones I can think off of the top of my head
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oh you have social anxiety disorder? is that a reference to drinking song for the socially anxious by the amazi
#/j#/silly#the amazing devil#joey batey#madeleine hyland#drinking song for the socially anxious#tadposting#ruin#social anxiety#i don't have SAD but i do have struggles with social anxiety chat i do not mean to offend anyone
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some snapshots of boba fett being a socially anxious mess in legacy of the force
facing some of the galaxy's most ruthless and hardened killers in combat? no problem 👌 having a heartfelt conversation in a room with friends and family? RUN!! 🏃🏃
"am i allowed to call my best friend by his first name when we're at his house? if i get the answer wrong, it is equivalent to me stepping on a landmine and exploding btw"
the thought of having anything like a family or social circle is terrifying to him. loneliness is a much more familiar and thus comfortable experience.
this is a sad one. trying to interact with other people in a way that isn't predicated on violence (whether for or to them) feels so alien and daunting to fett that he feels like he's incapable of it. (it's also one of the many moments in which fett is an unreliable narrator of his own character development bc what do you think you've been doing for the past three books, idiot)
and finally, one of the (several) moments in the series that implies he usually relies on beviin and/or medrit to handle daunting social interactions for him :`) he's very lucky to have them!
#boba fett#legacy of the force#sintas vel#goran beviin#medrit vasur#say what you will about karen traviss (she deserves most of it)#the decision to give the baddest bounty hunter in the galaxy crippling social anxiety was 👌#i feel like in earlier stories fett often /does/ come off as uh... lacking in social graces#but he's also generally interacting with people he doesn't care about and often actively dislikes#(and/or is going to kill in due time lol)#so of course he dgaf about how he's perceived#so placing him in a setting where he's surrounded by people he DOES care about and want to make an effort for...#it gives us an opportunity to see that trait in a different light#also: i hope this sheds light on why i couldn't stand the charismatic portrayal of him in BoBF#he's never been good at talking to people#and seeing him struggle with it is much more interesting to me than him suddenly being effortlessly diplomatic when the story calls for it
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playlist or no playlist I am losing my fucking mind, by the time I get my shit together and start feeling a tiny bit alright the sun starts going down and I am plunged into despair (and this is despite living in MEXICO)
#flashbacks to the utter irrational despair of a providence winter#this is nothing in comparison but#at least I had my housemates and campus and an art building or a library to go to and work even in the snowy dead of night#now it is me just me in my apartment with my post-pandemic agoraphobia and ghost of a social life and heartache#vacillating over whether or not to get my ass out of the house and go to a café to sit alone and work as if this were an actual problem#the actual problem is that I have been on the verge of an anxiety attack at all times and that is still not an actual problem#but I am struggling to focus and struggling to get anything done at all and there are so goddamn many things to get done#and I spent yesterday reading a pop neuroscience self-help book and taking notes like a maniac instead of working & now the sunday scaries#absolute dysfunction#nightmares every time I go to sleep#I am back to meditating and exercising and doing fucking affirmations and going to therapy and it helps it does but it's not enough#all of this awful shit from the past 10 years just flooding my subconscious day and night#and even just getting back into this thesis means facing the reasons I put it on hold in the first place and those were fucking dark days#just want to have a properly good day#just want to get this thing done and be able to focus on getting more paid work and get myself out of this hole#just need to get my entire fucking life together it's no big deal#just having a minor meltdown in the tags it's fine#it's just since the breakup & since the girls visited & for two brief moments I didn't feel alone – everything is hitting me inside and out#and it feels like I have no right to be this much of a mess when things could be so much worse on so many levels#when it comes down to it even with everything that's happened I still know I'm lucky – I'm alive I'm here I'm technically okay#and nevertheless
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Reminder for those who need it:
It's okay to pick your battles. And just because you can, doesn't mean you have to.
Were you able to talk to the cashier and order your own food last week, but today you'd rather just write it down? That's okay. It doesn't make you an inconvenience. It's the same outcome either way and it's worth it if it saves you the anxiety.
Were stairs easy for you yesterday, but today your knees are bothering you? Go ahead and take the elevator. All that matters is you get where you need to. You're not being lazy. You're being efficient.
Promised yourself you'd start cooking meals but can't find the energy today? Eat that microwave meal. Food is food. The main thing is you get something in you. You're not letting yourself go. Eating is taking care of yourself.
There are no thresholds of struggling needed to justify accommodations or doing something a different way. If it makes things easier, then do it.
You're not lazy. You're not over-dramatic. You're not faking. You're not "chronically online." You didn't lose progress. You're not back at square one or giving up on yourself.
You're brave for doing what's best for you. You're strong for taking care of yourself. You're clever for finding ways that make life easier for you.
It's okay to pick your battles.
It's okay not to do something, even if you can.
It's okay if you are struggling.
You don't have to be "*insert disorder* enough."
You're doing great, and I'm so proud of you. <3
#motivation#support#self love#self care#autism#autism struggles#autism spectrum disorder#autism support#anxitey#social anxiety#anxiety support#anxiety issues#chronic illness#chronic pain#chronic pain stuff#inspiration#reminder#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#wish i could tag more so everyone who needs to see this can#sending hugs#sending love ❤️#love yourself#take care of yourself#im proud of you
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I am not here to entertain anyone.
"What if they think I'm weird? What if they think I'm boring? What if they think I'm shy? What if they think I'm quiet?"
I am not here to entertain anyone.
I'm not put here on this earth to entertain anyone.
If I can't talk or don't feel like talking, or I can't be myself fully in this situation, it's fine.
I'm not here to entertain anyone.
#this is something i found in my commonplace book that i think i took from a tiktok#if i find it again ill share jt#it was something about autism and social anxiety and how the only way you can improve it as an autistic person js by fully accepting#your neurodivergence#“simply accepting and not resisting social struggles and communication difficulties that come with being autistic”#i use these as affirmations now and i thought itd be useful for others who may be feeling the same way as it really helped me !! :)#if it resonates it resonates#lasar being incoherent
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You know when you know a person who you could see yourself being friends with if they weren't such a cunt-
#like PLEASE. can you NOT BE AN ASSHOLE?#also this is a coworker of mine and i like to be nice to people right#and this coworker told me “youre being too nice to people”#im being too nice to people? im being nice to them because i can clearly see a lot of them just dont KNOW how things work here.#so i tell them#and im nice to them while doing so because i have social anxiety and if someone talked to me like this coworker does#is probably be struggling with anxiety more#like damn dude#youre not better then them. you sure know more about how things work here#but thats because you WORK here#like JESUS CHRIST. BEING NICE TO PEOPLE ISNT THAT HARD.#stiff talk
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The past couple days online have been... interesting. I consider myself a leftist, think capitalism is corrupt, and think that it needs to be seriously reformed/overthrown. I admit that while I've thrown around phrases and terms like "burn it all down" and "the revolution needs to come" out of frustration without actually thinking about what a revolution entails: excellent organization, unity, and strategy to defeat the United States, the world's largest military superpower which has inflicted political and social destabilization across the majority of countries around the world. There also needs to be superb infrastructure and community to support the disabled, elderly, and poor populations who rely on government assistance and programs, healthcare, and accommodations while this so-called revolution rages on.
All I've received from the far leftist movement are lectures from condescending intellectuals who rattle off academic citations regarding ideological theory rather than practical, tangible steps to advocate for change in our local and regional communities. I have not seen one of them actually discuss conversations they've had with their friends, family, or Americans about what they want to see reflected for the future of the country. I have not seen one of them discussed how destructive, detrimental and traumatic a Trump presidency was for social prejudice and morale in the United States. I understand that for many marginalized groups they've been living in a facist state for centuries so the possibility Project 2025 doesn't galvanize them to see the two parties differently, but I don't think it is fair to white leftists falsely equivocate the election of both parties for the entire American population at all??? Or like at least specify the issues you're referring to in which you view both parties as the same????? Literally one TikTok creator who I used to follow talked about how true leftists are so much better than liberals because they aren't waiting for a presidential candidate to save the world NOW due to the accelerated apocalypse due to climate change but when asked how to change the world they suggest sharing ideas of your future utopia with other leftist groups. How the fuck is sitting around talking about living in a walkable community is great considered "saving the world now"? How are you going to dismantle and restructure American infrastructure to create these communities? How are you going to remove existing racial and social tensions to create a community where everyone lives happily side by side? Do people not consider reality at all?????
And is it not wrong for people to have a fucking sliver of optimism and hope at incremental change that's achieved within the corrupt bipartisan system of American politics, even if they know it's propaganda??? Is it wrong for people to have a singular fucking moment of relief in feeling like their values, beliefs, and lives will be better protected and THEY can advocate for change better??? Is it wrong when there's a couple months until the most pressing election in recent history for people to make the choice they feel will reduce the most amount of harm???
#literally i've seen some leftists post like the people in the us could never handle the torture that the us inflicts in other countries#like seriously what the actual fuck do you not think most people are struggling here and dying of preventable diseases and being subjected#to hate crimes mental health crisis systemic racism sexism etc.#why the fuck arent you actually helping your community and helping them see how foreign and domestic policy are tied instead of screaming#like so much of this virtue signaling and not being grounded in reality drives me crazy#and im fucking tired of not being allowed to feel happiness about anything unless it's morally socially perfect how the fuck are we suppose#to move the needle if we never fucking feel happy????? like what after your disorganized revolution the way your room is disorganized i can#be happy that i live in a perfect utopia?? NO! that's not how the fucking world works get a grip#i never believed in working within the system but at least other more reasonable leftists have offered tangible solutions to sway politicia#in our favor and retain a little bit of our rights#like this one woman was saying union organizers align themselves with democrats strategically not because they agree with the party but#so that democrats will count on their vote and money and in turn advocate for union rights#like i feel like a far leftist would be like omg how dare you align with the democrats!!! but like honey!!! what the fuck are we supposed t#do??? stick our fucking nose up at the current political system unless we get everything we want to move the party further to the right and#then wake up one day and realize because we were waiting for a perfect system all our fucking rights are gone?????#bffr#i know i am going to lose all of my followers for this post#grace rants#politics#donald trump#kamala harris#joe biden#jd vance#project 2025#2024 elections#also to be clear this is what i feel right now because of the delayed discussion of far-leftism and options and campaigning for candidates#if leftists actually get together and UNIFY and fucking do something i'll consider inching forward to the revolution#but screaming the system is corrupt without giving people solutions or action steps and just giving them severe anxiety is unhelpful
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#feeling sad#kinda depressing#mental health#social anxiety#social anxious#anxi4ty#not enough#school destroyed me#struggling mentally#i'm sad#im cryin#overthinking#tw depressing stuff#not okay#anxienty#this is depressing#mommy issues#sorry for being depressing#daddy issues#parent issues#maybe i am the problem
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HAPPY BLOG ANNIVERSARY!
it's officially midnight here, which means i'm allowed to post this! so ... happy one year anniversary of enduring the plague of avalon upon your dashboards! alternatively, thank you so much for giving me a place to babble about my #1 favorite comfort character who has experienced zero comfort. ( i swear i am being SO NORMAL about this. yes i did literally buy cake and party hats. ) whether we speak on the daily, you've just gotten here or anywhere in between, i want to extend my sincerest gratitude for being on this absolutely wild ride of a blog with me. there's been ups and downs, but ultimately i feel like my passion for writing has been ignited stronger than it's ever been before. i am still always so excited whenever i get the chance to log on here and create stories with all of you — and i wouldn't have that opportunity if it wasn't for this little corner of the internet you've helped make truly special.
there are so many of you i feel lucky to have met. ( and so many i would love to get to know better, too! ) i hope we can continue writing together for many more anniversaries to come. and if the day ever comes that they finally pull the plug on this cockroach of a hellsite, i'll forever remember this community as the rpc that got me to laugh at petrichor.
have a wonderful day / night! i'm sharing the cake with everyone in spirit.
#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝#( i struggle sometimes because i know i tend to hide behind my muses / headcanons / ic posts --#because i am honestly just so bad about talking about / as myself & i think part of it has to do with me being really nervous / awkward )#( we all love ye olde social anxiety & the myriad of ways it manifests etc etc )#( but!! i just wanted to do / say something silly because i really do appreciate you all so much )#( even if we don't actively talk / write imagine me liking your posts as a little high five of appreciation for what you create here )#( this blog & rpc have helped me grow so much both as a writer and as a person. )#( having a place to express my interests & meet other people with similar interests has had such a positive effect on my life )#( i'm making plans to meet my best friend in person one day and it's only happening because i made this account & reblogged a gifset )#( yes it's sappy but i really do mean every word )
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does anyone else have voices in their head sometimes? like a team council of voice? or is that just anxiety??
#spilled thoughts#spilled words#spilled ink#lesbian#spilled writing#spilled feelings#wlw longing#sapphic love#spilled poetry#wlw post#bpd feels#bpd meme#bpd blog#autistic struggles#autistic lesbian#anxiety problems#autistic things#actually autistic#socially anxious#chronically stressed#borderline blog#sillyposting#femme lesbian#sapphic#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr
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My personal space is around 5 kilometers in every direction. Just don't come close to me, please leave me alone.
#actually bpd#actually anxious#actually mentally ill#actually autistic#actual depression#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#sorry for being depressing#dark humor#relatable#random thoughts#autistic things#autism#autistic adult#bpd#bpd thoughts#borderline personality disorder#anxi4ty#anxitey#introvert#i hate people#leave me alone#autistic thoughts#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#anxiety depression#depression stuff#depression struggles#anxiety stuff#im just a girl
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I’m so sad I can’t partake in art fight stuff due to the really bad timing on my end bc it’s the busiest season at work, as well as I haven’t been able to finish any art for myself for ages now and I’m trying to catch up on it bc it keeps getting pushed back (basically I wish I had more time to draw 😔 I’m also slow af so I’m triple cursed, ugh)
(Granted I’ve never done any kind of art fight before, but even then… maybe next year…? Lol. Tho I so wish it wasn’t in July bc it’s such a cursed time for me /sobs. I’ve always watched it happen as a spectator but I’ve only ever been a lurker).
#blabbering#it just looks like so much fun and I keep missing fun things and events and stuff and it bums me out#but I really do wanna get lore art done bc it’s driving me insane bc I wanna do it so badly#but I wanna do stuff like this too#ugh there is no winning for me lmao#idk maybe I’m just not cut out for it either. that’s always a possibility (depressing as it may be)#idk I think I’m just depressed about the amount of events and fun activities I keep missing due to timing and life stuff#also just for the social aspect as well#after dealing with customer service shit and capitalism bs all the time it gets lonely in my world bc i'm on my own#and I crave whatever socializing i can get bc it's ALL I can get and I have to constantly fight my social anxieties despite that#the struggle of being hella introverted and under socialized while craving connections
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