#abuse survivor

[gentleaffirmations]

I am here for the "bad" survivors.

I am here for people who don't perform perfectly as they recovered from their trauma and abuse.

I am here for people who weren't believed.

I am here for people who went back, who reached out, who were unsure about what was happening to them until they were.

I am here for people who behaved chaotically and uncharacteristically in reaction to their trauma.

I am here for people who screamed, yelled, or hit back.

I am here for people who froze, stayed silent, or couldn't fight back.

I am here for people who couldn't get their stories straight, because their own memories of what happened were so fractured by the trauma.

I am here for people who's boundaries became rigid and impermeable as they tried to create a new sense of safety in their life.

I am here for people who lost all boundaries, who felt unsafe setting any boundaries in the wake of having them violated.

Whatever happened that makes you feel like you were a "bad" survivor, I am here for you.

There are no "bad" survivors because there are no "good" survivors. Surviving is hard.

[bitchesgetriches]

As a teenager, life gave me lemons.

I ate the lemons—skins, seeds, and stickers.

Many years later, I wrote a guide to help others eat lemons.

This is a guide to leaving home before 18. It ranks among the most important and most personal things I've ever written. It's also one of our most popular guides of all time. So I updated and expanded it. To make it as accessible as possible, we recorded audio and video versions too. My lemon-flavored heart would swell with joy and citric acid to know it reached people who need it.

But it's a fight share it. Heavy topics like this get muted and buried on most social platforms. Even worse, this administration is deleting surveys and data about it; my .gov sources transmogrified into 404s before my very eyes. Gonna post this, and pray that Tumblr does what Tumblr does best.

How To Leave Home Before 18

Video Version 🍋 Audio Version 🍋 Text Version

[the-bar-sinister]

repeatedly sobbing "do what you want forever" as I desperately try to convince myself that it's okay to make small decisions about the short term direction of my life without concern for the opinions of other people.

[girl-in-the-thunderbolt-suit]

Baby reindeer was brutal, triggering, uncomfortable, honest and beautiful. One of the best portrayals of someone with sexual trauma I've ever seen on TV.

[spiritualseeker777]

I’ve always hated “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” - it’s so much more complicated than that

[lostmf]

[neuroticboyfriend]

As an adult still living with their abusive parent, I often find that affirmations meant to empower me are unhelpful at best. They often feel like they're overstating the amount of agency I have as an adult; I've spent my entire life being abused. It's all I know and I have a lifetime of conditioning and nervous system damage to show for it.

All that doesn't just go away now that I'm older than 18, and neither do the material circumstances that keep me here. Even though I have more legal rights and have grown since I was younger, I am still not in control by the very nature of being the victim in an abusive relationship. So, for those who relate, here are some affirmations that might hit different:

My abuser does not have my best interests in mind, even if they think they do.

I am my own person; my mind and body belong to me.

My feelings are justified, and I deserve to feel and express them.

I am doing what I need to survive, and that is all I need to do.

I am doing my best given the knowledge, resources, and support I have.

I am the only person who can decide what is best for me.

My situation is unfair and wrong. I deserve to be happy and safe.

I do not have to engage in toxic positivity; that will only hurt me.

As long as I am alive, there is something good in this life for me - no matter how small.

I have inherent rights just because I exist.

I shouldn't have to deal with this on my own; I deserve support and protection.

Everything I need is something I deserve. Everything I deserve is something I need.

If any of these don't resonate, feel free to discard them. Everyone finds comfort and empowerment differently.

[01298283]

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[sparrow-the-tired-lesbian]

here’s a friendly reminder for survivors of any sort of abuse that

It wasnt your fault

You are strong

You didnt ask for it

No one gets to invalidate your experience

If someone invalidates your experience, you get to dump their ass

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser(s) were never punished.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser is living a normal life.

Shoutout to everyone whose allegations were immediately dismissed.

Shoutout to everyone reported their abuser to the police and nothing happened.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser was able to get out of significant legal punishment.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser is generally seen as a good person.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser is a “pillar of the community.”

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser has lied about you.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser has framed them.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser threatened them into silence.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser discouraged them from reporting.

Shoutout to everyone who lost friends after reporting and or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who lost family after reporting and or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who received backlash for reporting and or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who has created a rift in their family or friends by reporting or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who is terrified to tell anyone about their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who never had the opportunity to talk about their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who feels like talking about their abuser is worthless.

Shoutout to everyone whose case was dismissed by the court.

Shoutout to everyone who faced backlash after their abuser was put in jail.

Shoutout to everyone who faced backlash for testifying against their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who still has yet to be believed that they were abused.

Shoutout to everyone who knows their abuser will never be punished.

Shoutout to everyone who knows their abuser will never face backlash.

Shoutout to everyone who knows their story will be dismissed by loved ones.

Shoutout to everyone who spoke out about their abuser, but wasn’t believed until something happened to someone else.

Shoutout to everyone who spoke out about their abuser and wasn’t believed until they seriously harmed you.

Shoutout to everyone who has been mocked for trying to speak out about their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who has faced social repercussions for speaking out or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone who has suffered financially for speaking out or exposing their abuser.

Shoutout to everyone whose abuser has admitted guilt, but never faced justice.

Shoutout to everyone who knows they were abused and are punished for it.

[tklshtxler]

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

“She’s so sweet she’s always going out of her way to help others” quick someone give that girl all the love and safe space she deserves before being “sweet” (pathological people pleasing as a trauma response) destroys her and leaves behind a bitter empty shell of a person

[vacant2007]

[futuretherapoo]

Its insane how certain behaviours and actions of a parent absolutely fucks up a child to the point where they won't be able to properly function as an adult.