#rants & reflections

[demigods-posts]

i'm one hundred percent certain that after percy and annabeth made out underwater. and he wanted to make their relationship official. the question was not "will you be my girlfriend?" but "can i be your boyfriend?" i don't care what the canon says. percy gave annabeth the space to take the lead in the relationship. because after a lifetime of being abandoned by everyone she dared to care for. and then watching her on the brink of a panic attack at the thought of losing him the last four years. he wanted to honor a new beginning between them by follow her lead and moving at her pace.

[papanowo]

i think dan should get to be a little weird too. as a treat

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I know its kind of silly to say “don’t feel bad for canceling because of pain, fatigue, etc” because I know guilt is a reflex you can’t easily refrain from. But you can reason with yourself so instead I’ll say this:

Nobody can feel what you’re feeling but you. Nobody knows the severity of what you would be putting yourself through if you were to “tough it out.”

If you do “tough it out,” the purpose for you doing the thing will most likely not be fulfilled anyway. You probably will not be mentally present or engaged. You probably will not have a good time or get much out of it. Etc.

If people really have such a problem with it, thats a huge red flag. Being transparent about your needs and boundaries is a great way to weed people like that out of your life.

If you have any kind of chronic illness or disability, remember that you probably have a very warped judgement of what is “reasonable” to endure in terms of pain, fatigue, burnout, etc.

You didn’t ask for this, you don’t deserve this, there is no reason you should have to bear the weight of it alone. I bet if someone else was in your position, you wouldn’t mind helping accommodate for them?

Low energy days are truly sacred, take them seriously. Please respect your body’s signals. “If you do not choose times to rest, your body will choose for you” or however the saying goes

It is so much pressure to have to deliberate what sacrifices are necessary for proper self care. Give yourself extra credit for having to deal with that stress on top of whatever is putting you in that position in the first place. Thats a lot at once

You are leading by example and showing others that you would never expect them to hurt or overextend themselves for your benefit. Putting yourself first always inspires other to do the same.

Please be proud of yourself for even considering canceling and putting your needs first. That is so strong of you <3

[hajihiko]

💕

[smollkittykat]

I kind of don't like how a lot of people forget that despite all the angst and the drama around Dean and Cas they are fundamentaly best friends.

How many times did Dean say it throught the entire show? Bobby in season 6 saying "Well, you just lost the best friend you ever had."

For Bobby to say that, knowing Dean better than even Sam in some regards, how many times had Dean been sitting with Castiel on the couch in his living room?

Cas doesn't sleep, and rarely does Dean, with the Apocalypse looming right behind him.

So all they had left, in those quiet nights were each other. And they were okay with it, because they liked each other's company.

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

Some chronic pain memes for extra hurty times

[teratomatica]

you always land on all fours

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

I'm sorry but the irony of Nico calling Max unprofessional is sending me so bad like sir there's an entire garage full of people, who were literally in the trenches trying to survive the Brocedes fallout while just doing their jobs, who might have a few things to say about your (& Lewis') level of professionalism at that time 😭✋️

[undertalebabbleblog]

Was there every any hope for Dream and Nightmare?

Could they have stayed in their universe, stayed together, stayed happy?

Maybe. But somehow, I can't see it, at least not after the village comes into the picture. They might have been able to stay in their own little bubble forever, but as soon as that outside force exists, the clock starts ticking.

It was Nightmare who couldn't take it anymore. But it could have easily been Dream. Either way, it was only a matter of time. I don't think there was any avoiding it, not really. Not in their situation, not with who they are.

Nightmare. The scapegoat, the dark one, the moon, the night. Tied to his brother by his very name, because even though he wasn't a nightmare, he's Dream's opposite, and that is all he was ever seen as by others. The dark to Dream's light, the negativity to Dream's positivity. Always defined by his brother, even before he was hurt for merely existing. Did he ever really get to be his own person?

And Dream, the golden one, the perfect one, the kind one, the sun. Always so helpful and positive. Always in demand, because who doesn't want to be happy? Their happiness is his responsibility. So he smiles, he helps, he conceals all the stress and sadness and anger and grief. He can't be seen with negative emotions, he can't effect others with his own feelings, he can't let his own feelings or needs or self matter when there's always other people who need him. So he keeps up that sunshine mask, keeps all the clouds and rain and storms locked in the dark where nobody can see them.

You can't maintain masks like that under enough built-up pressure. Eventually, something breaks.

Maybe they still had a chance. Broken things can heal, after all. Maybe they could have helped each other, grown, figured out a way to make things better.

Or maybe they were doomed from the start.

All I know is that if one didn't break, the other would have eventually.

[momentomori24]

I may just be insane about this but does this feel like foreshadowing to anyone else. In this scene we see her trying to replicate the skill of someone else (her mother) and failing to achieve the same results that they would. That feels really specific and it's driving me insane.

Like, we see this come back again in the aftermath of the trial. Diana has repeatedly voiced her admiration for Wolfgang's ability to speak and inspire those around him in the darkest of times, saying she wished she could do the same. We see her pour her heart out and give her own speech to inspire the others-- except the reaction that she receives is cold and miserable, far from the newly kindled warmth and hope Wolfgang was able to create every time.

Diana is a chameleon. Her whole thing is to reflect, to replicate and to adapt. Do you think that this small scene where she tries to make a butterfly out of her hairclips-- a butterfly, an animal associated with transformation and change-- and the end result looking nothing like what she wanted it to be is a metaphor for her future character arc? She has declared that she wants to follow in Wolfgang's footsteps, wants to become something new, but do you think that by the end she ends up being the furthest thing from him? Do you think that by the end she will be left distorted, fundamentally wrong? Do you think that if she could see what she will become in the future, the only emotion that she can muster is horror as she gazes at a stranger that's supposed to be herself? That by the end, she won't be able to recognise herself, because there's no "her" left anymore?

[bxriles]

I’m sure that this is not a hot take and that a lot of people feel the same way but like…

The question “does it have spice?!🌶️🔥” makes me want to jump off a cliff. I’m out here looking for gothic book recommendations on Reddit, tumblr, and goodreads and WHY is this the first question so many people ask 😭

Look, I love erotica as much as the next person but come on. There have got to be other things that matter when recommending books or choosing to pick one up, my GOD.

[jellynotbees]

My love, I trust you with my life.

The throat is such a fragile part of the body so I think it would take a lot of trust for Muriel to let Narinder touch their neck, especially after their execution. There is just something very intimate about letting your partner literally hold your life in their hand, knowing they could end it with one sharp movement but also trusting that they never would.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

sometimes when chronically ill/disabled/neurodivergent people say “I can’t do this thing” they really mean “I can technically do this thing I guess, but not without pretty significant repercussions” and I really need more fully-abled people to understand the validity of that

[lilacerull0]

an arrangement between effects of the light and the flesh of the city

My Brilliant Friend (TV) // L'amica geniale, Elena Ferrante // excerpts from my diary

I am perpetually fascinated by the landmark qualities behind Enzo's physicality in a world plagued by disintegration. I especially enjoy how it compliments Lila's outwardly signatures, such as nervousness and a body that is often described as fragile and betraying, all characteristics that are in tune with dissolving boundaries as a concept. There are two spheres this relationship inhabits narratively: one of the cyclical, historical and architectural Naples and one of the confined area that is a room and I am restless in my curiosity when it comes to those spaces interacting and what that means for these characters.

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

“She’s so sweet she’s always going out of her way to help others” quick someone give that girl all the love and safe space she deserves before being “sweet” (pathological people pleasing as a trauma response) destroys her and leaves behind a bitter empty shell of a person

[ic-napology]

Napoleon, Josephine and personal stuff - rant incoming brace yourself or scroll

I finally got a grasp on exactly why I was so struck by Napoleon at 13. And I kept being like that for many years later.

It was how desperately he opened his heart and threw himself in the arms of a nice and graceful woman, one he idealised maybe for just being kind to him.

I aknowledge how Josephine was mainly useful to him for very practical reasons, but I feel that, because of that, Napoleon felt genuine elation and gratefulness to her nonetheless. I think he valued her with an emotional response, even if the reasons of her being the best party were practical. In their marriage he would find social stability. In her house, domestic stability. In her presence, sentimental stability. He had not lived in a house of his own since he was 9, and now his home in Corsica was destroyed.

I feel he kinda put himself in a full psychological dependency to Josephine during the first four years of marriage, which seems uncanny from a character that usually valued logic, pragmatism and self-reliancy. But that was a personality based on what was needed to survive in very hostile environments, not on what he could openly wish on a serene path.

His love letters are said to be "romantic" and "passionate", and in some point they are indeed. (I also believe that Napoleon's letters to Josephine stand out mainly because people don't expect it, based on a certain image of Napoleon as stern and hyper-rational; but I remember some similar lovely passages from other people's letters too from the same age.)

But to me now in these letters he mostly sounds desperate to be loved, after so many years of being on his own on unstable situations. He feels relieved to have found someone he could be openly emotionally vulnerable to and relies in that joy; he shares so much things about his campaign, he was never so open about his feeling on things like in these written words. However, this all seems based on his expectations on how Josephine would be like, on an ideal rather than how Josephine actually was going.

He really idealised her and very much held on that image. In his letters, she is perfect, then she seemingly chooses to be evil to him on a whim. It's not like she was actually dealing with her own toll of traumas, insecurities, especially around husbands and their power, and was not on a condition of comforting another lonely person. Especially not with the dedication Napoleon seemed to pretend. It's still a big thing that she came to Italy while even being sick.

Besides, Napoleon had not lost his insecurities after their marriage nor after her arrival on Italy and she was not going to help him in that, because she couldn’t.

It was inevitable that she would defy him, and I'm not talking about the (not actually proved) affair with Charles. The smallest thing would have been hurtful to a starved and insecure person, who puts huge expectations on a single person and lets himself depend on her actions only to be happy. It doesn't help that Josephine was actively being defiant because of her reasons.

And I relate a lot to her too. I feel she was as hurt as Napoleon by her own experiences, maybe she has been socially and emotionally humiliated even more in her own contexts of living, despite her privilege.

So that's it, I was captured by the voluntary emotional dependency on specific people you hope to receive care from, because you have love starvation and you are desperate.

I personally did that a lot with specific people between long periods of distrust of everyone and of emotional avoidance of everything, because I was regularly deceived. Or wasn't corresponded. That's why I'm still fond of Napoleon and Josephine, and also sad for them. But I know that's a dangerous thing to do for both parties. Don't let others be the only ones to take the toll of your well being. Thanks therapy.

I don't pretend that this interpretation of Napoleon is correct; as you see there's a lot of self-projection in order to elaborate things from my personal life, which is also the reason why I felt passionate about those characters. Maybe it's also your reason too. So yeah, my words have no informative value. But I hope that still might resonate in someone else.