#and im nice to them while doing so because i have social anxiety and if someone talked to me like this coworker does

[stiffyck]

You know when you know a person who you could see yourself being friends with if they weren't such a cunt-

[anaalnathrakhs]

people won't fucking FORGET me i can't handle this anymore there's always a friend who wants to go someplace a friend who needs someone to go to the store with a friend who hasn't seen me in a while who wants to hangout, and i can't let those friendships decay i just can't i can't be this kind of asshole again, but it feels so shit it feels like i can't fucking relax cuz there's always something tomorrow something next week and something to do at school between classes and holy SHIT leave me ALONE please fucking stop talking to me i just want to relax and do things i enjoy.

[be-good-to-bugs]

never again would i like to work on Halloween

[astrow0rldx]

Mystery pick a card (Some 18+)

Since I did a tarot reading poll for my next tarot reading. lets get the rest of the stuff out of my drafts and reach whoever whenever divine pleases. all different type of questions. some 18+, some not. choose what pile you feel intuitively drawn too.

if you fount it on 10/20-21 24 feel free to vote on the poll for the next reading: https://www.tumblr.com/astrow0rldx/764872633973145600/a-tarot-reading-poll-%E0%AD%A8-%E0%AD%A7?source=share

One

18+ who wants to fuck you?

people probably know them. they are very confident, bold, brave. self assured. they are very wishful, they have a lot of ideas. they could be hopeful, and faithful for big dreams. they could be a person who's naturally inspired, or just carries themself that way. looking for purpose. not really immature energy though, like they seem actually goal-oriented and grounded and serene. this person could make money and actually be well known. they might have a busy life or a lot of eyes on them, like they wake up with a purpose, ideas & confidence in their world,shining. leo, sun, solar plexus energy. but also goal-oriented, focused, practical, money getter. receives nice things. the way they may flirt may be cold-hearted, clever, non chalant. if charming then not too vulnerable. could even be a little shy, have anxiety. or maybe traps in their own head when talking, arguing, etc. so maybe quiet. i don't see them as this optimistic person all the time, they could be very down. maybe a lot of loss hopes. maybe focusing on the bad. could be a person to be like awnn im so sad, so they get inspired to find purpose. they find purpose in themself, and their character and life. you could know them for getting through things. like this person could be strong, a wounded healer. signs: leo, cancer, thick hair, ginger hair, nature, fairy/mermaid, coquette, nighttime, rich, spiritual, moon, been in jail, popular, famous, pretty/handsome. good sleep schedule. mourning and sad but strong and hopeful. get through it energy.

Two

18+ their sexual fantasy with you?

makeup sex, remove tension, confusion and conflict with sex. even tease you a bit. if you guys were both going through a lot because of the connection, or your personal lives, they want to move in and just protect you. stand strong and live a happy ever after and forget about the bullshit. they definitely have fantasies about you fucking while living together and different places around the house, marriage and children may be involved. this type of sex they want to give you they want it to be deep, or performative something to make their mark, own you and make you realize about them or you two. they fantasize about moments when they have to hesitate and they don't know, like should i make a move or should i not. should we go right now, or should we not. and its just so much adrenaline and passion between you guys. they fantasize about you being their ideal woman. you even dressing up in dresses for them, putting yourself together. and then they get to see you take it off, take it off for you and take control. they fantasize about this being connective sex though, so not them only doing the work by the way, don't be afraid to add force, strength or bratty. they want to get.. THERE. rough girlfriend sex. if not girlfriend, bestfriend with benefits, fuck buddy type of thing.

Three

hyping you up and calling you out?

numerology number 222 - You thrive in partnerships, value emotional connection, and have a strong intuition. traits like : Harmony, cooperation, empathy, and diplomacy. You may struggle to assert yourself, compromise too much, or fear conflict. traits like : Indecisiveness, over-dependence, and passivity.

Signs: Strong Libra, Leo, Scorpio, Fire Signs. Favorite - Nicki Minaj

Social butterfly, Creative/Inner child energy. ADHD? maybe Balanced, makes clear decisions. Popular girl energy tbh, if your not, express yourself! popularity doesn't matter anyways your bright regardless this is about you, not others. Heavy re-invent yourself type of person, no matter if its what you been through, your look/aesthetic-ness. Who you are, what you do, you are transformative.

You are a warrior, Your strong. You been through a lot but it made you stronger & only balanced you out. Courageous! It's like you have the power to conquer anything because you rise from it, with grace & confidence. No one should be able to take control of your way when you decide to take control. Game of Thrones energy, like you could look at yourself as some type of character, angel or you know what I mean, it adds to your ego & personality about the stuff you went through. Like this is my goddess, I have faced hardship and became a strong, balanced, warrior with angel wings because of that. You are balanced, wise, & fair. You can make clear, rational decisions. Resilience - the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties. You can re-invent your self, and shine in your character. You are radiant, your full of life, and you bring light to everyone around you. Your positivity & energy is magnetic. Success, joy, and happiness is the aura and energy around you, embrace it and feel it.

Your like this clear, smart, rational person who shines bright and has this positive inner child energy about them. You have a lot of energy, and adaptability. Always on the go, always on the move, facing things, experiencing and going through stuff, or just being that way as your personality. Like Momentum is on your side, you move with speed & purpose. Push forward!!!

Four

how to get to your desired reality?

signs - National Olympics Games, Spelling bees, Swimming, NBA/NFL, Competitive things. Competitive work place/friend group/family. song: Candy Man, Planez by Jeremih. book: 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene.

you may want to get away with something. wish you can take something. have a little secret. be a thief, manipulator, sneaky, rebel. something hidden that you want to get away with. this could involve a relationship or another thing you can desire in your life is a relationship. maybe a dynamic of earth sign fem/water sign masc. energetically, a woman who’s stable, has all her material desires, thriving in the physical & reality. with a emotional, caring, loving, mature man. with the 8 of cups outside of that and 7 of swords before you might have sneaky things going on in the relationship that you might want to leave behind. or you might want to leave a relationship for another person. or leave with this person. this could be another desire in your life to just maybe leave something behind, and move on from something.

you probably miss your innerchild. you miss someone you were in the past. a era in your life before. you want enjoy life, take the innocence and playfulness, the creativity & kindness of it all. you probably wish you had more integrity, more real, more logical. you probably wish you were more of a warrior, stronger, control things when it’s unfair. wish you had justice. you wish you were smart, straightforward, and had clarity, can understand things faster and see things through. better communication skills. work hard, you wish you can have consistency and persistence. good work. learn faster. wish you were good in school and your matters pertaining to your education, work, legal matters and children.

YOU GOT TO HAVE FUN THIS WORLD IS YOURS. GET SOME CONFIDENCE AND BRAVERY. take down your haters. make it through any competitive shit and stand on your throne. you control your reality, you manipulate the situation. you gain the control and the power. that means you decide when stuff is done, you leave stuff behind that doesn’t serve your best. and be in peace. SAVE and NOURISH and RESPECT & VALUE your peace. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE put your respect and values to the right things and PEOPLE. your peace can help you understand your wishes and your values and your hopes. and help the tooth fairy to come and help you get it and gain control over the situation. meditate. and WIN 🥇

all you have to do is realize something and have the right discernment and judgement. crumble what doesn’t serve you even if it’s chaotic. bond with the right people and go to/make genuine connections. and that can help you unblock something in you to get here.

Five

How to get to your desired reality?

(same question for pile four)

signs - “Just Do it” Nike. Gigi Hadid, Victoria Secret Modeling, Makeup, Pink. Sexy (Red and Black). Red Room. Leather, Black Boots. Blonde Ponytail. Tumblr Feminine Culture. Female Gaze. Fake Friends. Popular Girl Clique. McDonalds. 4 for $4. Song: Pretty Hurts by Beyoncé. Sippy Cup by Melanie Martinez.

okay you ready to see your work that you put in, the time and investment finally make you satisfied. you probably been holding on to some burdens but your ready for a new life a new beginning something fresh. your ready for the heavy book bag to be off your shoulders life to stop kicking your ass and you can innocently walk into something new. you put in the work and your just waiting till the plants grow and you are thriving and the voids are filled. the happiness and everything you want is there. maybe something that you been wanting to start that you been investing in, caring about is something you see as a fulfillment.

you wish you were more abundant, you wish you were more lucky, you wish you were more physically wealthy. you can receive your wants more easily. you wish you were more of a person that receives good karma and fate. you wish you were emotionally stable and mature and looked at the world differently. and were a better and stronger person to achieve and accomplish.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and celebrate. emotionally go forward and connect with people. But be guarded and self assured. start being kind of selfish and more connected back with self. holding on to things valuing things. be more energetic fast and about that action. start moving and starting. start DOING.

you might have body insecurities. you might have insecurities about your luck and fate. insecurities about time. insecurities about your learning abilities, your studies, your goals and ambitions. insecurities about your emotional well-being, your depression, looking on the down side. insecurites about your procrastination, persistentence, and future. your material stability. your plan and progress your path.

[watchmegetobsessed]

UNSPOKEN

A/N: i literally started writing this over a year ago, then forgot about it and now i revisited it and finished it. im not entirely satisfied with how it turned out to be, it's kind of one big clishé, but... i would hate if it went to waste, it's a long fic so here it is!

WORD COUNT: 9.8k

SUMMARY: Your college roommate wants to get you out of your shell and brings you to your first frat party. It's not quite your setting, but when you meet a nice boy in the bathroom it gets better. Right until he catches your roommate's eyes as well.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

FRESHMAN YEAR

Your first ever college party is just like how you imagined it. Lots of drunk people, a frat house packed to its fullest capacity, music blasting so loud your ears will surely be ringing in the morning and lots and lots of anxiety. On your part, at least.

You’ve never been quite the party person, weren’t really invited to them most of the time through high school, but it seems like that’s about to change thanks to your roommate. Izzy is practically your polar opposite, judging from the two days you’ve known her, she was definitely part of the popular kids in high school and she’ll make herself a name in college as well. She seems nice and she was the one who dragged you to this party, some guy invited her, she met him on her first day on campus, they just randomly bumped into each other and of course, he tried to flirt with her. She is the kind of girl guys fall head over heels in love with within seconds, while you’re more of a wallflower. Seemingly it’s her mission to push you out of your comfort zone and get you to socialize more. 

Normally you wouldn’t want to change, there’s a reason why you don’t like parties and lots of people around you, but because you’re desperate to find new friends, you’d do anything it takes and right now Izzy is your best shot at it. 

“Come on, let’s get a drink!” she smirks and already pulls you towards the kitchen as if she was already familiar with the place. 

There are bottles and red cups everywhere, you keep bumping into drunk people as you try to follow Izzy into the kitchen. She snatches a bottle of vodka as if it was waiting exclusively for her and pouring some into two cups she tops the drinks with orange juice, handing you one of them.

“Cheers to the best years of our lives!” she grins, bumping her cup against yours and you just smile as you both take a sip from the drinks. 

“Wow, it’s… strong,” you say with a surprised frown, you haven’t been quite the drinker either and the proportion of vodka and orange juice in the drink is definitely wilder than you expected.

“That’s the point,” she winks. 

You follow her around for the next about an hour, it seems like Izzy didn’t waste her time since her arrival and already made several friends. She keeps introducing you to everyone she runs into, though you remember just about no names minutes later. 

You feel like you stand out, but you tell yourself it’s only because everyone is new and you’re overwhelmed by all the changes that’s been happening around you. 

Excusing yourself you go and look for a bathroom somewhere upstairs. After opening a few wrong doors you finally find the one you were looking for and lock it behind you so no one can walk in. Just as you approach the toilet, a voice speaks up from the bathtub.

“Um, before you do anything, you’re not alone.”

“Holy shit,” you gasp in shock when you turn around and see a guy sitting in the bathtub. Your heart is about to jump out of your chest, you weren’t expecting anyone and it’s a luck he spoke up before you went on to use the toilet. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he chuckles, holding his hands up in defense. 

“I-It’s fine, I was just not expecting anyone to… be sitting in the bathtub,” you say, furrowing your eyebrows as you say it out loud.

“I know, I just… I’m having a break so I’m not forced to take another shot,” he shakes his head chuckling.

“And the tub was your best idea to hide? Aren’t people coming in to use the bathroom?”

“Well, yes, but more often to have sex than to actually use it.”

“Oh…” you breathe out. 

“But I didn’t watch, if that’s what you’re concerned about, I let them know the room is occupied in time,” he grins and it makes you laugh. “Seemingly that’s not why you’re here, so I’ll let you use my little hideaway.”

He gets up and leaves so you can use the toilet in peace and you expect him to disappear, but when you walk out, he is standing by the door.

“You’re coming back?” you ask, as you switch places.

“I’m gonna enjoy some more peace,” he shrugs with a smile. “You can join me, if you want,” he offers and it comes as a surprise, because it feels like he genuinely wouldn’t mind it if you joined him. 

Honestly, you could use a break from the madness outside, so before you could overthink, you nod and follow him inside, closing the door behind you. 

The guy is already climbing back into the tub and when he has taken his spot, he gestures for you to do the same and sit across from him. It feels weird and ridiculous, but you join him at last, the cold surface of the tub feels soothing against your hot skin that heated up because of the crowd that’s outside.

“I’m Harry, by the way,” he introduces himself, holding a hand out for you. 

“Y/N.”

“Are you a freshman too?”

“Is it that obvious?” you ask with a nervous chuckle.

“No,” he shakes his head smiling. “Just maybe a little bit,” he then adds. 

Sitting in that tub, you engage into a conversation with Harry that flows so smoothly and easily, it almost feels like you’ve known him for longer than just about thirty minutes. He has a great humor and he’s exceptionally smart. All of that pairs with a pretty charming look and he almost feels too good to be true to be chatting with you at a party full of girls like Izzy. 

Almost an entire hour passes, but you barely notice, his phone’s buzzing is what pops your little bubble.

“Ah shit, my friends are asking where the hell I went, I think I need to make an appearance,” he sighs, texting something back quickly. “Do you want to grab a drink?”

“With you?” you ask with wide eyes, which makes him chuckle.

“Of course! Come on, let’s show our faces.”

Harry climbs out of the tub and then helps you out as well offering you a hand that you gladly take and when you’re standing on your feet outside of the tub, his hold stays a bit longer, pulling you towards the door, only letting go of your hand when you step out of the bathroom. But even as you head downstairs, he places a hand to the small of your back, guiding you through the sea of drunk guests as you make your way to the kitchen. 

The butterflies in your tummy are definitely going crazy, the attention and affection Harry has shown you in the past hour is more than what you’ve gotten from boys all your life. 

“Alcoholic or something light?” he asks, looking around at the selection on the counter.

“Maybe something light,” you say and he doesn’t even try to convince you to drink something else. He pours some kind of juice into two cups and hands you one, bumping his cup against yours with a charming smile before he lifts it to his lips. 

“I don’t know where my friends are, but they are up to no good for sure,” he chuckles as he looks around. “Do you want to look for your roommate?”

You open your mouth to answer, but right in that moment Izzy appears out of the blue.

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you for ages! Where did you go?”

“Oh, I was just…”

“My fault, sorry,” Harry speaks up. “I kept her up, bored her to death,” he adds chuckling. Izzy turns to face him and you immediately see the shine in her eyes upon seeing Harry while your stomach churns. 

“And who are you, handsome stranger?”

“I’m Harry, nice to meet you. And you must be Izzy, Y/N’s roommate.” Harry holds his hand out but Izzy goes for a hug instead, which obviously surprises him, but he circles an arm around her waist anyway.

“Nice to meet you too, Harry, would you like to join me and my friends for a round of beerpong?” she invites him right away. Harry looks at you as if he is looking for your approval, but you feel like you have no power in this situation, Izzy is the boss, so you just force a smile to your face.

“Um, sure,” he nods.

The three of you join Izzy’s group outside at the beerpong table and you feel overshadowed even more now than before. Seemingly your roommate is very into your new friend, it’s pretty obvious Izzy is flirting with Harry, showing her liking to him, it doesn’t even occur to her that you might feel the same way about Harry. 

If you were confident enough you’d stand up for yourself, you met Harry first and up until Izzy showed up it seemed like he liked you as well, but now he is too busy to pay any attention to you, because Izzy makes sure all of his attention is on her. But you’re not the type who speaks up that easily, so you just stand back and witness your roommate shamelessly flirting with the one guy you had your eyes on.

If you’re being honest you’re not surprised, only disappointed. If you were a guy you’d choose Izzy over you anytime, she is outgoing, gorgeous, charming, exactly what guys usually look for. Everything you’re not. 

You go home that night on your own, Izzy is very much into partying until dawn, but you lose interest watching her cling onto Harry, so you sneak out sometime around one o’clock and go back to the dorm. You wake up when she arrives hours later, but pretend to be asleep in case she wants to brag to you about anything that might have happened between her and Harry.

The semester officially kicks in on Monday. It turns out Izzy has a class together with Harry and she goes on and on about how this is fate when the two of you meet at the dormroom later. You just sit and listen, nod along and try to swallow the bitterness in your mouth. 

“I’m so happy you introduced me to him, Y/N!” she sighs dreamily and you can’t help but clench your jaw at her words. You never really introduced them, she just showed up and joined the conversation. She never asked if you liked Harry, if you wanted to shoot your shot. She just assumed she’s got the green light. 

Harry sends you a friend request on Facebook and you accept it, he even starts to chat with you, which is nice and definitely makes your heart flutter, but knowing that he’s hanging out with Izzy and that she definitely wants to further their relationship, you remain a bit distant and cold so your heartbreak won’t be as bad.

A week later they officially become an item.

Izzy drags you along sometimes, even though you tell her you don’t quite like third wheeling, but she always tells you that won’t happen. It does and you hate every minute of it, so after a while you start to make up excuses just to avoid spending time with them.

It goes on for about two months, right until one day, out of the blue, Harry breaks up with Izzy. She is seemingly heartbroken and hurt, though you have a feeling it’s more about how her ego was hurt by being dumped rather than the actual emotional part of the breakup. 

The aftermath of it is that it’s not said out loud, but it’s obvious Izzy doesn’t want anything to do with Harry ever and she expects you to do the same. She cuts out any and every possible future chance for you to even be friends with Harry.

ONE YEAR LATER

It’s a relief when you step into your favorite little café you found last year near campus. This has been your hideaway from the busy everydays. The smell of fresh coffee and pastries hits you instantly, the little bell rings above the door upon your arrival and a smile stretches across your face without even realizing it.

It’s your first time here since the start of the semester after the summer, you had a great vacation at home with your family, but it’s also nice to be back to your usual. It’s not a popular place, pretty hidden, so you don’t have to wait in line for hours, like at the Starbucks next to Building C. There’s only one guy at the counter when you arrive, two more people at the tables with plenty of empty seats available. You’ve written several papers at these tables, drinking coffee after coffee until you finished with your eyes red, head aching, but at least you could turn them in. 

Behind the counter there’s a barista you don’t remember from last year. As you step closer you see her nametag says Sarah and she is smiling brightly at the guy in front of you as she hands him over the change that eventually ends up in a tip jar, as always. The guy moves over to wait for his drink and now it’s your turn.

“Hi, what can I get you?” she smiles warmly, her ponytail flipping around as she tilts her head to the side.

“A cappuccino please with a bit of cinnamon, on the go.”

“Alright,” she nods, pressing around on the screen in front of her. “That’ll be 3.65.”

You grab a five dollar bill from your wallet and hand it over to her.

“Keep the change.”

“Thank you,” she beams as her eyes wander down to the pin on your backpack while you put your wallet away. “Nice pin,” she chuckles and you look down at the Office pin you got last year. It’s Dwight’s head with the word ‘FALSE’ written underneath.

“Oh, thank you,” you chuckle. “You like the show too?”

“Love it and I made my boyfriend watch it with me too, he wouldn’t admit it, but he is a fan now too,” she says laughing. She seems like such a nice, genuine and open person, so you dare to further the conversation.

“Are you a new worker here? I used to come here all year last year, but I didn’t see you.”

“Yeah, I started in August. My boyfriend transferred here this year and I came with him.”

“You’re not studying?”

“No, I can’t really see myself going to college. So I’m here until I figure out what I want to do,” she shrugs smiling, it doesn’t seem like she’s bothered that she has no certain plans for her future. 

“It’s better than to study something you absolutely hate,” you agree, chuckling.

“Oh, yeah!” she smirks, nodding.

You chat with Sarah until your drink is ready and you feel like you already made a new friend. She even let you know they are having a little open mic event on Friday where people can read their poems or perform a song freely. It sounds exactly like the kind of thing you want to do on a Friday. 

Last year was a bit… hectic in terms of friends and socializing. With Izzy as your roommate she kept trying to drag you to different parties and events, she never asked if you even wanted to go or not, just expected you to follow her everywhere. At the beginning you complied, but later it became way too draining, so you made up excuses so you could ditch her plans. 

Since you engaged with Izzy and her friends in the beginning, that’s what you ended up sticking to for the rest of the school year. You don’t want to sound ungrateful, but sometimes, or maybe often, you felt like you were an outsider in their group. Now you’re thinking about maybe looking for other people to hang out with, but you don’t really know where to start and you also don’t want Izzy to get the wrong idea about it. 

As you walk through campus with your coffee in hand to get to your first class, you spot a familiar face sitting under a tree with two other guys. It seems like Harry has started to grow his hair out during the summer, his curls now reach his shoulders practically, but he is still wearing skinny jeans. 

He looks good. He always does, but it seems like he got even more handsome throughout the summer and since you haven’t seen him. After the breakup you spotted him a few times around campus and it seemed like he might have even wanted to talk to you, but you avoided him like the plague. At first because of girl code, because that’s what Izzy wanted you to do, and later it simply felt awkward. Part of you was mad at him for choosing Izzy. Even though their relationship didn’t last long, he still chose her over you and that stung. Once again, you fell second after someone else and you didn’t feel like sticking around when you were just a second choice. 

But every once in a while you think about him, how good of a friendship could have been between the two of you at least. The talk you had in that bathtub was probably the best time you had all year at a party. You think about the missed opportunity way more than you probably should, but not enough to actually approach Harry and give it another go. 

He is laughing at something when his gaze falls upon you and you see him zone out of the conversation as he watches you continue your path. You want to look away, but something is not letting, your eyes stay focused on him and he stares back at you. For a split second it seems like he is smiling in your way, but that scares you and you turn your head, fastening your steps to reach the building and flee as soon as possible.

By the time you reach the entrance your heart is hammering your chest and you swear you could feel his gaze on you the whole time. You go on with your day thinking about those few seconds while you were looking at each other, but of course, you never mention it to Izzy.

“Gamma Epsilon party on Friday night, you’re coming, right?” Izzy bursts through the door of your shared room on Wednesday, her fingers relentlessly typing away on her phone. You’re sitting on your bed with your laptop on your lap, updating the schedule you’ve put together, fixing the color coding so it looks perfectly neat.

You look up at her and almost start thinking of an excuse, only to realize you actually have plans for that day already.

“I can’t, I have plans.”

Izzy stops in her steps and looks at you with clear surprise in her eyes.

“What plans?” she asks and the disbelief is quite apparent in her tone, which is kind of hurtful, but you let it slide. As if you couldn’t have plans on your own… 

“There’s an open mic evening at Beachwood Café, I’m going there.”

“Beachwood Café? I have never heard of that place and who are you going with?”

“It’s off-campus. And I was invited by one of the new baristas, she seems pretty nice.”

“And you’d rather go there than to a party?”

“Well… yes, I guess,” you nod uncertainly, though it’s pretty obvious to you that your choice is the better one. 

The look she gives you sends a shiver down your spine and it’s not the good kind. You almost want to apologize for making plans on your own, but your rationality knows you did nothing wrong. Yet, she still has the power to make you doubt yourself. 

“Alright,” she then shrugs and acts like she doesn’t care, but the stinging feeling remains deep under your skin.

When Friday rolls around Izzy tries again a few times to get you to ditch the open mic event, but you don’t budge. There’s literally anywhere you’d rather be than at a frat party. So you put on a nice dress, do your hair and makeup the way you like the most and leave the dorm with an excitement you didn’t get to feel too often.

You’ve never been to anything like this and it’s surprising to see so many people at the café when you arrive. Usually it’s just a handful of customers lingering around, but today there are at least two dozen people taking up every tiny space in the small café.

“Oh, Y/N! Hi!” Sarah spots you from behind the counter as you step inside. You make your way through the people and greet her with a small wave.

“Hi Sarah. I didn’t think this is so popular,” you chuckle.

“Yeah, it’s a great success,” she grins winking at you. “I saved a seat for you next to my friends over there,” she says pointing to the back of the room.

“Thank you!”

“Do you want to have something to drink?”

“Maybe just a bottle of water for now.”

Sarah rings you up and once you’ve paid you make your way to the back to look for the seat. She said you’ll spot her boyfriend with his long hair and as she called it “hot Jesus look” so that’s what you’re looking for. There’s a tiny stage already set up near the counter with just one microphone and a stool and you’re curious what kind of performances you’ll see tonight. It amazes you that people just stand up in front of others and do this, you could never work up the courage to get in the center of the attention. 

Navigating your way between the tables you finally spot who you assume to be Sarah’s boyfriend and just as you’re approaching him, you see who he is sitting at the table with. 

There are three seats at the tiny table, one is empty, one is taken by Sarah’s boyfriend and the last one is taken by Harry. 

He spots you just when you see him, freezing just a few feet away from them. It seems like he’s surprised to see you, but he also doesn’t appear to be upset by your appearance, maybe even pleasant.

“Hey, you must be Y/N, right?” Sarah’s boyfriend stands, holding a hand out for you.

“Uh, y-yeah,” you nod, shaking his hand.

“I’m Mitch and this is–”

“We actually know each other,” Harry cuts in.

“Oh, really?” Mitch smiles warmly. “Well, have a seat then,” he nods towards the empty seat that is of course next to Harry.

It’s awkward. For you, at least. Sitting so close to the one person you’ve been avoiding at all cost for about a year now and now he is just right there next to you. 

You sit in silence for a while and you’re just nervously fidgeting with the bottle of water in your lap and then he is the first one to speak up. 

“At least this time we’re not meeting in a bathroom for the first time in the semester.”

You want to stay serious, but you can’t. A smile tugs on your lips and the two of you start laughing together.

“This chair is more comfortable than the bathtub, if you ask me,” you giggle under your breath.

“Definitely,” he nods grinning. “So how do you know Sarah?”

“Oh, I just come here often and we just… you know, started talking.”

“You come here often? How come I never saw you? I drop by almost every day.”

“Well, I guess we just missed each other.”

“Mm. What a shame,” he hums and you can tell there’s more behind his words. 

You stare back at him, there’s so much you want to say to him, yet nothing comes out of your mouth. You feel shame, regret and confusion, all at the same time as you look back at him, all the unsaid things hanging between the two of you. 

Clearing your throat you turn to look ahead, feeling his gaze linger on you for a few more seconds but then a man steps to the microphone and the evening starts.

Even after the performances have started, more and more people arrive until the tiny café is so full, you can’t even drop a pin. You hear poems, songs and stories, originals and covers as well and you love all of them. 

Harry seems to be enjoying them as well and you even start to discuss your favorite parts and the best thing is when you look at each other at the same time hearing something that caught your attention and you know the other one thinks the exact same thing. 

You realize just how much you missed him. It’s almost like in the bathtub all over again and it doesn’t even process that a year has passed by and so much has happened. 

When the performances are over they start to wrap up the evening, but the three of you remain sitting at the table, waiting for Sarah to finish. Mitch walks up to the counter to keep his girlfriend company while she puts the cups and glasses away, so it’s just you and Harry now.

“There was a frat party tonight, you didn’t want to go?” you ask, eyes focused on your nervously fidgeting fingers in your lap. 

“I’m not really a party person, usually end up hiding in the bathtub,” he chuckles.

“So that’s your usual? Did you end up in the bathtub with someone else too?” you ask and try to sound as unbothered as possible, ignoring the stinging pain in your chest when you think of him having the same experience with someone else.

“No,” he smiles at you softly. “Only with one person, though I didn’t see her for a long time after that.”

And you’re back at the touchy subject, but this time you feel like you can’t avoid it.

“I don’t like to be the third wheel,” you mumble, heat crawling up the sides of your neck towards your ears.

“I didn’t go out with Izzy for long, you practically vanished even after we broke up.”

“Because Izzy is my friend and you broke up with her. I couldn’t side with you.”

“Says who?” he chuckles. “Besides, it wasn’t that deep. It’s not like we dated for years, we barely had a handful of dates.”

“But you had them,” you find yourself replying, your voice coming out a bit harsher than you intended. 

Harry stays quiet for a while and you start to think he won’t add anything, he speaks up again.

“You were mad at me for going out with Izzy?”

You didn’t expect him to question it at all and now that he hit the nail right on the head, you feel exposed, almost naked as he is looking at you with questioning eyes.

“No, I–Um… I need to go,” you blurt out and grabbing your purse you launch to rush out of the café, but Harry is quick to run after you.

“Hey, wait! Y/N, let’s talk about it!” He jumps in front of you to block your way, a hand coming to grab your arm gently. “It’s the first time you talked to me in almost a year, don’t just run away, please,” he begs and suddenly you feel ashamed of how you just acted.

“S-Sorry, I just…”

“Harry!” You hear someone call from the entrance of the café and you both turn in the direction of the voice. Mitch and Sarah are stepping out, watching you with questioning looks. Harry sighs and waves at them.

“I’m walking Y/N home, I’ll meet you later!” They just nod and head in the other direction as Harry turns to you again. “Can we please talk? I don’t want you to leave like this, let me walk you home.”

“Okay,” you whisper nodding as the two of you start walking towards your dorm. 

“So, I feel like you were mad at me for dating Izzy.”

“I was just… confused,” you say, looking for the best way to express what happened.

“About what?”

Sighing you realize you won’t be able to talk it out without giving away something.

“You didn’t seem like the type of guy who would go after a girl like Izzy. And it turned out you weren’t a match anyway, so… I don’t know, I was confused that you asked her out.”

“Okay, just to be clear, she asked me out and I thought going on a date could never hurt. It wasn’t that disastrous, but if I’m being honest I knew it from the beginning it wouldn't last long.”

“Then why did you even go into it?” you ask. 

“I don’t know, I just started college, I was open to meeting new people. Who am I to judge someone so quickly?”

You hate that his answer is rational. You can’t blame him for not being judgmental, yet you still want to be mad at him.

“Besides,” he continues, “the person I really wanted to get to know didn’t seem to be interested in me.”

Your eyes snap up to meet his and your knees almost go weak when you see the tiny smile that’s curling up the corners of his mouth. Was that a hint? Did he imply he wanted to get to know you? As if Harry could hear your questions, he continues.

“After Izzy came up to us that night you kind of stepped back. I tried to reach out, but I felt like you didn’t want to talk to me anymore, so I didn’t force it. Izzy asked me out and I figured since you two are friends it was cleared, okay by everyone, but apparently it wasn’t.”

You stop in your tracks wrapping your arms around yourself as you chew on your bottom lip. It feels like the right moment to open up, but you haven’t done much of that in your life, so you don’t know how to do it without making a fool out of yourself.

“I just… I didn’t think you’d want to spend time with me when you could be with Izzy.” Harry sighs as he looks at you with a tender gaze.

“Y/N, I had a great time with you. When you were so cold towards me, I took it as a sign that it wasn’t the same on your part.”

“It wasn’t… I had a good time with you,” you admit truthfully, which brings a smile to his lips. “I just… Izzy seemed to like you too and…”

He doesn’t force you to finish, as if he could tell that talking about it makes you anxious, but he understands everything you’re trying to say. 

“Izzy is a nice girl, but not really the type I usually hang out with.”

“Your friends from the frat seem to like her.” It slips out before you could even think about it.

“Actually, I spend more time with Mitch and Sarah and they are not at all like those guys. If you remember, I was kind of hiding from them at the party when we met.” The boyish smile definitely makes the butterflies in your stomach start dancing wildly. “Alright, let me make this clear, because I don’t want to dance around it anymore and I don’t want any misunderstanding either,” he starts and you hold your breath as you stare back at him. “I like you, Y/N. I liked you a year ago and I only went out with Izzy because you didn’t seem to be interested in me. But if you like me too, I would really love to spend more time with you. As friends, or… whatever else.”

This is new. Harry just openly told you that he is interested in you. Not in someone else, not in Izzy. You. 

For the first time you’re not second behind someone else.

He smiles at you warmly, your shocked reaction is probably quite entertaining while you’re looking for the words to say.

“Do you want to spend more time with me, Y/N?” he then asks with that boyish smirk you love so much.

“I do,” you smile shyly.

“Great,” he nods. 

He walks you back to the dorm and you catch up on everything that basically happened since the bathtub incident. School, friends, family, you feel like you’re continuing exactly from where you left it a year ago and it’s a relief that neither of you changed too much over the time. At one point he drapes his sweatshirt over your shoulders when he notices you’re feeling cold and it gets hard to focus on what he is saying when all you can smell is his sweet scent. 

“I’m really glad we met again tonight, Y/N,” he smiles at you when you finally arrive at the dorm.

“Yeah, me too,” you return the smile and start to peel off the sweatshirt he gave you, but he stops you.

“Keep it.”

“But I’m here, I won’t need it inside.”

“Let’s say it’s the leverage that we’ll meet again, so you can give it back. How about lunch sometime this week?”

“That sounds great,” you nod and the smile just widens across your face. 

“Amazing, then see you later,” he grins as he backs away and you just nod, biting into your bottom lip, but then he runs back to you and leaning down he presses a kiss to your cheek before finally turning around and leaving.

You keep smiling like an idiot as you take a shower and get ready for bed. Folding Harry’s sweatshirt neatly you put it over the back of your chair at your desk and every time you look at it your heart skips a beat. You did not expect things to take this turn, but you couldn’t be happier now. Smiling to yourself like a lovesick schoolgirl you hug your pillow as you try to get some sleep.

Izzy gets back to the room at around two in the morning. She almost trips in her shoes she left out before leaving and you wake up to her cursing in the dark.

“Sorry babe, it’s just me,” she sighs, as she starts to strip out of her clothes.

“You alright?” you ask groggily.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but you should have been there tonight! Rick jumped into the pool butt naked,” she laughs, falling onto her bed.

“Mm, sounds fun,” you reply, but it’s nowhere near genuine. You’re not interested in seeing some random fratboy butt naked and probably drunk out of his mind.

“How was your evening?”

“Great, I really liked it,” you say, a smile stretching across your face instantly. She doesn’t ask any more questions, it’s clear she’s not quite interested in how your night really was, but as she is about to get comfortable under the covers she spots the sweatshirt on the back of your chair. 

“Whose sweatshirt is that?” she asks, but her tone reveals she already knows the answer. You hesitate and at last you decide to lie.

“Sarah’s boyfriend let me borrow it, I know her from the café.”

Izzy stares at the sweatshirt for a couple of moments before she pulls the covers over herself and turns to face the wall. 

When you’re waiting for Harry at the school’s cafeteria on Tuesday, for a moment you think that he won’t come. Holding onto his sweatshirt you kept as a treasure since Friday you’re anxiously kicking around the dirt even though he is just one minute late to what you agreed on earlier.

“Hey! Sorry, Professor Hastings just loves talking,” he runs up to you and before you could even snap out of your thoughts he leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek.

“It’s alright,” you smile. “Here.” You hand him the sweatshirt and he just smiles before tucking it into his backpack.

Normally you eat with Izzy and her friends, but this time you take it away, because Harry says he knows a great spot. Behind building E there’s an old oak tree with a little bench underneath. The route behind the building is not too popular, it leads next to the trash containers, but when you reach the tree you sense nothing of it, so the bench sits unoccupied when you arrive. 

It’s like a little picnic as you pick up the conversation exactly where you left it earlier. Talking to Harry is so easy, so natural, no doubt you missed him so much after you lost contact. You truly turn into a giggling mess every time Harry compliments you or looks at you with so much adoration you never thought anyone could. 

As much as you’d like to spend the whole day like this, you need to get to your next class, so the picnic has to come to an end. Harry insists on walking you to your building, just so you can spend a little more time together. 

“So, there is this party on Saturday, I’m kinda forced to go, but I thought that maybe we could… go together?” he asks, when you reach the building. “And also, if you’re free on Friday, I would love to take you out.”

“Like, on a date?”

“Yes,” he chuckles. “On a date.”

“Okay,” you breathe out, so swooned by his charm. 

“To both?” he smiles brightly. 

“Yeah, both sounds good,” you nod, chuckling lightly. 

“Great! And maybe we could have lunch together some other time this week as well.”

“You’re suddenly occupying all my free time,” you giggle, but it’s not at all a complaint. 

“I’m just that greedy,” he grins, before checking the time on his phone. “I have to run now, but I’ll text you, okay?”

“Sure,” you nod. Harry leans down and kisses your cheek before going his way and you can’t stop smiling for the next two hours.

You have lunch with Harry one more time this week and you go to the library with him too, spending more and more time together while slowly canceling plans with Izzy and her friends. 

It remains in the back of your mind that sooner or later you’ll have to come clean. You can’t hide it for long and if things turn serious with Harry, she’ll for sure find out about it. You just haven’t figured out how to present it to her.

Hey, how has your day been? Mine? Oh, it’s been great, because lately I’ve been dating your ex. Okay, see ya later!

That would be a disaster. Knowing Izzy there’s no right way to tell her, it’s certain she’ll be fuming no matter how you put it. She very much implied that none of her friends can ever get in contact with Harry after their breakup, which was seemingly pretty rough on her, although… you’re not even sure you want to be friends with her anymore… 

You didn’t miss that she’s been acting weird towards you and you’re guessing it’s because of the hoodie. She must have recognized it and she’s not stupid, she must be suspecting what’s really going on, it’s a miracle she hasn’t asked you straight in your face. Your time is ticking.

Friday afternoon you’re getting ready for your date and praying you can leave before Izzy gets back. You put on a nice dress, do your makeup and hair just the way you like it. Luckily, you get a text from Harry that he has arrived before Izzy returns so you leave in a rush, once again avoiding to face her with the truth.

He is waiting for you in front of the building next to a car you know for a fact he borrowed for the evening, wearing a pair of slacks with a funky patterned shirt tucked into it and a beaming smile on his handsome face.

“Hi,” he greets you softly, pulling out a rose from behind him and handing it to you. 

“Thank you. You look good,” you chuckle, taking the rose.

“I should have said that to you first,” he laughs as he opens the car door for you.

“Sorry,” you grin and get into the car.

You haven’t been on a date, ever in your life, so you didn’t have high expectations for tonight, but Harry has definitely fulfilled all of them. 

He takes you to a gallery where you wander around, talking about the abstract paintings and what you see in them, then comes a nice dinner and because neither of you wants the evening to end, you start walking around the neighborhood aimlessly, the conversation never really dies.

You feel like a fool for staying away from him for so long, you haven’t felt this good in such a long time and you were the only reason why it couldn’t happen earlier.

When you’ve passed the dormitory about five times you realize it might be time to say goodbye, you can’t stretch the evening any longer now. 

“Thank you for tonight, I had an amazing time, really,” you tell him as you stop by the dormitory for the final time. 

“You’re not just saying it to get rid of me, are you?”

“No,” you shake your head chuckling. “I mean it.

“Then, how about dinner tomorrow before the party? And then we can go together.”

The thought of arriving at the party with Harry reminds you that in that case you have to come clean to Izzy. Harry notices how your face falls and he thinks he said something wrong.

“We don’t have to, if it’s too fast, we can–”

“No, it’s not fast, it’s just that… I need to tell Izzy. I haven’t been able to get myself to do that.”

“You mean, about us?”

“Yeah.”

“So… there’s an us?” he asks, tilting his head to the side with a wide grin stretching across his face. You get nervous right away, as if you just made a fool out of yourself.

“I-I mean, i-it’s not, I just–”

“Y/N, stop,” he chuckles and stepping closer he cups your cheek in his hand. “I’m really hoping that there is an us, if it’s still not obvious.”

“Oh,” is all you manage to reply as he slowly closes the gap between the two of you.

His soft lips press against yours in a gentle, patient manner, as if he is giving you a way out of it, but you’d be a fool to break away from him. So when he feels you kissing him back, he deepens it, his tongue runs along your bottom lip and you let him in without hesitation. You haven’t had many first kisses and most of them have been terrible, to put it nicely, but with Harry… He practically melts your whole being, you just want to feel as close to him as possible as you lock your arms around his neck, he is everywhere, all you can feel and sense, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

A kiss never felt this way and it scares and excites you at the same time. 

You have no idea how long you stay like that, minutes or maybe hours, it could be a lifetime but even that wouldn’t be enough. Harry pulls away, but then peppers your lips with a few more tiny kisses before actually moving his head back.

“Do you want me to talk to Izzy?” he asks, his forehead resting against yours as he gently caresses your cheek with his thumb. 

“Tempting, but I think I should be the one to tell her.”

“Or we could tell her together. Tomorrow, at the party?”

“Is that the best option? I mean, shouldn’t we do it more privately?” you ask hesitantly.

“Okay, then maybe I could drop by the dorm before the party and we can tell her then.”

“I don’t think she’ll take it well,” you sigh.

“Is there anything she takes well that’s against what she wants?” he questions arching an eyebrow and he is right. Izzy has a hard time accepting it when things don’t go her way. “So, let’s ditch dinner, I’ll be here at… eight? How does that sound? And we can talk to her together.”

“Okay,” you nod, smiling weakly. Leaning down he kisses you one last time before peeling himself off of you.

“See you tomorrow then,” he winks at you before jogging back to the car he left in front of the building while you were walking. 

You told Izzy you wanted to talk to her before the party. She knew you wanted to talk, yet she is still nowhere to be found. It’s like she is purposely avoiding you.

It’s past eight, Harry is already in your room, the two of you are waiting for Izzy to show up so you could tell her what’s been happening, but she disappeared.

“She still hasn’t read my message,” you sigh, dropping your phone to the bed next to where Harry is sitting as you pace the floor relentlessly.

“Have you ever seen Izzy without her phone in her hands?” he asks and it’s a valid question. She is practically glued together with her phone 24-7, there’s no way she hasn’t seen your text.

“You think she already knows and she’s just avoiding talking about it?” you ask, chewing on your bottom lip. Harry reaches out and taking your hand he pulls you closer so you stand between his legs.

“I think that’s exactly the case. And if you ask me, she is acting like a child. Let’s just go to the party and talk to her there. We had the intention to do it privately, she didn’t want that. We can’t work everything around her all the time.”

You know he is right, but you’ve always been the kind of person who wants to please everyone. Izzy might have not been the best of friends to you this past year, but you still want the best for her no matter what.

“Okay, yeah, you’re right,” you nod. Reaching up he gently caresses the side of your face before pulling you in for a kiss.

You still haven’t gotten used to Harry just freely kissing you, every time he leans in and you feel his soft lips on yours your heart skips a beat, you can’t believe he wants you, that for once in your life you’re in the focus and that it’s Harry that’s so into you… it feels like a dream you never want to wake up from. 

His hands cup your hips as he brings you close against him, curling his arms around your waist as he deepens the kiss, easing your nerves within just moments. Now you don’t really want to go to that party, it would be a lot nicer if you could just spend some time alone with Harry.

“Maybe, we could skip the whole party?” you suggest between kisses.

“Would love that, but I already promised I’d be there. They always tease me for being a party pooper,” he chuckles softly. “But believe me, I would rather be here with you than at a party.”

“Okay, then we are leaving early, right?” you propose.

“That sounds manageable,” he chuckles before stealing one more kiss.

You arrive at the party together, but until you talk to Izzy you keep your hands to yourselves, though both of you are dying to walk around hand in hand finally. It’s another frat party, nothing special or different from the ones you’ve been to. Drunk college students everywhere, couples making out in every possible corner and the single ones are trying to find a hookup for the night. This setting was never your cup of tea and it’s now just settling in your mind how Izzy always dragged you to these parties even though she knew you didn’t quite like them. 

Looking around you spot her outside, talking to her friends as if you weren’t waiting for her at the dorm and it gets your blood boiling. Harry follows you out to the backyard, his presence is what keeps you collected enough not to snap at Izzy when you finally reach her.

“Hi girls,” you smile around politely. “Izzy, can we please talk? I was actually waiting for you in our room, I guess you forgot.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, it totally slipped my mind,” she says, but there’s nothing genuine about it.

“Okay, so then can we talk now, please?”

She takes a sip from her drink, as if she was debating whether she wants to hear you out or not, her eyes knowingly shifting between you and Harry behind you.

“Of course,” she nods at last and the three of you move to a more secluded spot to have a tad bit of privacy. 

“I wanted to tell you before you find out from someone else, that… I’m dating Harry,” you say it calmly, hoping she won’t cause a scene, that’s the last thing you need right now. 

You didn’t entirely think through what you’d tell her and now as she is staring at you with deadly eyes, you’re looking for the right thing to say, but she speaks up first.

“You really thought you hid it well from me?” she huffs. “I knew it when I saw his hoodie on your chair that night. I’m not stupid.”

“No one thought you were,” Harry says.

“Oh, so then you just decided to backstab me, that’s fine!” she lets out a dry laugh.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Harry sighs.

“No one wanted to backstab you. It’s not how we planned, but it happened, alright? It’s nothing against you.”

“But I do think it’s something against me. You’re dating my ex, Y/N. Are you really that jealous of me?”

“I’m not jealous of you, Izzy. But honestly, you never even asked me if I liked Harry when you started dating him! You just assumed you were more of his type than I am and pushed me aside!”

Clearly, Izzy is surprised that for once, you’re standing up for yourself, because the stunned look on her face is something you haven’t seen often. It’s like you just solved a puzzle you’ve been struggling to finish for a year.

Izzy was never really your friend. She saw you more like a charity project, to look better next to you and she couldn’t put up with Harry being interested in you rather than her so she did everything she could to keep you away from him. But not that she failed, she is trying to make you feel guilty, but it’s not gonna work. 

“I will be requesting to change rooms. It’s better if we just keep our distance from each other. I’m sorry this is how it turned out to be,” you say, truly disappointed it had to take such a bitter turn. 

“Whatever, Y/N. I’m not wasting my time on you two, I have better things to do,” she spats and walks away. One year of friendship down the drain just like that. 

“You did good,” Harry speaks up and turning around you can feel yourself easing up from the tension as you look at him. “Maybe she will come around in time. Or not, it doesn’t matter,” he chuckles as he pulls you closer by your waist, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

“I would really like to leave though,” you sigh.

“Let’s get the hell out of here,” he agrees, not even caring about what his friends will say about his early departure.

You were done there, in every possible sense.

TWO YEARS LATER

“Thank you for your attention, it’s been a pleasure to teach you this semester and I wish the best for all of you in starting your career!”

Professor Turner smiles as he finishes the very last class you have as a college student. A round of applause washes over the room before everyone starts packing up and leaves the auditorium for the last time.

“I’ll see you at the graduation ceremony, right?” Claudia smiles at you, swinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Yes! We need to take a picture together!” you beam at her.

These past two years you’ve made some great friends and Claudia is one of them. You had several classes together and bonded over a group project. After your initial fallout with Izzy, you were afraid you’d be on your own, but making friends turned out to be easier when you were looking at the right places. 

And besides that, you wouldn’t have been alone. You had your amazing boyfriend.

As you walk out of the building you spot Harry by the same bench he has waited for you after Professor Turner’s class all semester. He is reading a book, but as if he had a sixth sense, he looks up when you walk down the stairs and slips his book back into his backpack before standing up and walking towards you smiling as he meets you halfway. 

He curls his arms around your waist and sweeps you up from the ground while kissing you, making you laugh against his lips with his enthusiasm about seeing you again, even though you parted ways just a few hours ago.

“Hi,” you smile when your feet touch the ground again and he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“How does it feel to be free from school?” he asks, taking your hand as the two of you start walking back to the tiny apartment you’ve been renting for the past year. 

You stayed in the dorm after you switched rooms and left Izzy, but you felt like you could use some privacy for the last two semesters, especially because Harry was living with two of his friends and there was basically no place where you could be alone. Now Harry spends more time at your place than at his, so it’s almost as if you’re living together, but you have nothing against the idea. You’re planning to move in together soon, it’s been your trial for the official thing.

“I’m not free and you aren’t either,” you chuckle. “We still have our thesis defenses and graduation.”

“Those are nothing, we’re practically free,” he smirks, giving your hand a playful squeeze. 

If only you knew that the guy you sat with in a bathtub in freshman year would turn out to be the person you love the most… 

Harry is talking your ears off, trying to convince you to go to the movies on the weekend when you turn a corner and almost bump right into someone.

“Oh, sorry,” you apologize, only realizing that it’s Izzy you almost walked right into. 

She seems just as surprised to be facing you as you are to see her this close again. Following that party you only met a handful of times until you eventually switched rooms with a freshman. It’s been radio silence since then.

“Hi,” she breathes out and unlike the last time you faced her, there’s no sign of anger on her face as her gaze switches back and forth between you and Harry and then it slips down at your intertwined fingers. 

“Hey,” you say softly and you hear Harry mumbling the same.

It’s awkward, how the three of you are now facing each other after being silent for most of your time in college. You would be lying if you said you never thought about making up with Izzy since your fall-out, but the thought never turned into an act. 

“Um, see you guys at the graduation,” she breathes out, a nervous smile flashes through her face.

“Yeah,” you nod and return the smile with a genuine one. 

You can feel there’s something hanging in the air, something unsaid that’s been there for way longer than what feels comfortable and as the moments pass by you start to realize that it won’t be addressed this time either.

With a round of awkward nods everyone moves on and keeps walking, but then for your surprise, Izzy calls after the two of you.

“Y/N, Harry, wait!”

Turning around she is right there in front of you and she takes a deep breath before speaking up. 

“I just… I wanted to apologize. For how things happened… Between us.”

Looking away she tugs her hair behind her ears and then continues.

“I acted horrible. Like a… Like a child,” she chuckles. “I was jealous, there’s no doubt and not just because… it bothered me that Harry chose someone else who was not me.”

She attempts a smile in Harry’s way who is curiously listening to her talking while holding your hand, his thumb grazing your knuckles nonstop.

“I was not used to things not going the way I wanted them to and I never had that kind of instant connection you guys had… have. So, I’m really sorry for… well, for everything, basically.”

That was unexpected. But in the best way possible. You can tell she meant every single word and the Izzy standing in front of you is not the same girl you shared a room with. She has grown a lot and it looks good on her.

“I guess I’m sorry too,” you say. “I should have told you straight in the beginning that I liked Harry, so we wouldn’t have gotten into this whole situation.”

“Knowing who I was then, I would have still tried to take him,” she chuckles, but then her face falls, realizing this might come out wrong, but you laugh, knowing well what she meant.

“Maybe,” you shrug. 

“Anyways, I’m happy you guys are still together,” she smiles. “Good luck for whatever you are planning after school.”

“Thanks,” Harry finally speaks up and pulling you closer he kisses the crown of your head.

“Good luck to you too, Izzy,” you tell her and genuinely mean it.

With one last nod you all turn around and part way.

“Well, I did not expect that,” Harry admits, when Izzy can’t hear you anymore.

“Right? But… It was very nice of her.”

“Mhm, at least the reunion won’t be that awkward this way when we show up.”

You bite into your bottom lip as you peek up at him.

“So, we’ll still be together at our reunion?”

“Of course,” he smirks at you confidently. “Married, with a dozen kids.”

“Harry, that’s biologically impossible to have a dozen kids by then,” you laugh, smacking his chest playfully.

“Okay, then just… half a dozen,” he grins, curling his arm around your waist to pull you in for a kiss.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

HI ANY TIPS ON BEING THE NEW KID AT A NEW SCHOOL

GENERALLY GETTING ANXIETY ATTACKS LOL

ALSO I LOVE YR BLOG SMM

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Doll tips! ; Being the New Kid!! 🎀⭐️

Tip #1 ; Taking a Breath now speaking from experience being the new kid at school is very nerve racking ik ive done it so many times and just sitting back and just breathing snd relaxing can definitely help just calm you down!!

Tip #2 ; Making a Good Impression!! now for this one i not saying you have to be the most outgoing person ever bc it can be overwhelming especially if you have social anxiety or you just have trouble with interacting!! but definitely being as polite as possible can definitely help you in the long run!!! ⭐️

Tip #3 ; Don’t be afraid to introduce yourself

now since you are new to the school you may or may not have to introduce yourself and ik how nerve racking this can be but doing a simple “Hi! I’m _” is really good if you don’t wish to speak then a simple smile and wave is also just as good!!!

Tip #4 ; Recruiting Friends!!

if you wanna be friends with a particular person try going up to them and saying hi to them also helping people with something is a way to get to know a person or having desk/table mates is like a gold mine for making friends with people !!!

Tip #5 ; Not Everyone is a nice person

if you can tell someone is a mean person stay away from them have little to no contact with this person its will save you all the energy and time because people like this can be extremely draining trust ik that!

Tip #6 ; Be nice but don’t be a pushover

obviously being nice is ESSENTIAL but never let someone cross your boundaries or disrespect you call them out on it don’t make a huge scene obviously but definitely let them know that you’re setting a boundary and if they cross again then cut this person off because obviously they don’t respect your boundaries!!

Tip #7 ; Don’t be a Bystander!!

if you see someone getting bullied say something about it,defend them or just ask them if they’re okay being a bystander to the problem makes you part of the problem as well!!!

Tip #8 ; Don’t let others bring you down

again with making boundaries never let someone cross you or make snarky remarks call them out on it and remember this person words obviously don’t matter what other people say doesn’t define you

Tip #9 ; Join a Club!!

joining a club can be an amazing way to make friends while also doing something you enjoy and over all its just an amazing activity!!

Tip #10 ; Don’t overshare!!!

unless you genuinely trust a person don’t overshare because people switch up and anything you say can and will be used against you!

Tip #11 ; Have Main Character mindset

even if you have zero confidence fake it till you make it!! walk with good posture and some pep in ur step!!🎀

Tip #12 ; If u have a group assignment don’t do all the work

omg i can’t stress this enough only do your part if someone is failing to do their part don’t do it for them let them fail thats their own fault

Tip #13 ; Being popular isn’t everything!

social hierarchy in high school or middle school (idk what grade ur in im sorry!!) is so bleak okay being popular isn’t everything i mean sure by some chance you’ll be popular but still you don’t HAVE to fit in because ur made to stand out

Tip #14 ; Channel ur inner Elle Woods & Cher Horowitz

* apply ur self in ur academics

* if you need help ask its not a bad thing to need help!!

* Make an Organizer to stay in top of ur work!!

* STUDY!! STUDY!! STUDY!!

* if you have an assignment with a rubric read it carefully to ensure you can get the highest grade possible!!

* if you unhappy with your grade or feel like you should’ve gotten a better one ask your teacher to review!!!

* wear cute clothes and style ur hair neatly not to for the lookism esque obviously but looking ur best and feeling your best are definitely good ways to feel better!!! 🎀⭐️

* have a “what? like its hard?” mindset

* Don’t Judge!!

* Pursue ur dreams!!

* Don’t be afraid of a challenge

* Be yourself!!

Tip #15 ; Don’t Leave people out!!!

say ur in a group setting and you see one particular person being left out and not getting their chance to speak make them feel welcome ask them about what they were gonna say and include them into the conversation!!!

Tip #16 ; Eat what makes you happy and don’t yuck someones yum

if someone has a cultural dish for their lunch DON’T EVER make them feel bad about it don’t care what it is that loser behavior! also eat the kind of food that makes you feel good inside and that nourishes your body i definitely suggest packing a lunch the night before!!!

Tip #17 ; Don’t hang around Slackers!!

be friends with people that actually apply themselves in their academic and working for what they want!!!

I love you anon i hope you do AMAZING at ur new school!!! 🎀⭐️

[travelling-wanderer]

Hi hi!

I saw you had written a bit for cp lh!rayman so if it's okay and if you're accepting requests, could you possibly do rayman flustering the reader in his suave tv host way?

・﹒・ suave host

Summary: You were at a party for Eden's most elite, only there due to your friend. It was for Rayman, but parties never were your thing, so you opted for sitting away from everyone. The host seemed to have found you and taken interest in you.

Warnings: 18+, suggestive comments

Notes: Hey! Thanks sm for the request! Sorry this took a while to get to! Im sorry if this was really short, I hope you enjoy regardless though! :D

It was a party for the elite, those high in Eden's ecosystem that were rich, you were only here because your friend knew one of the producers of the Eden Late Show with Rayman. In fact, he was here right now, as this was his party for reaching his 30th season. You haven't seen him yet though, opting to stay towards the quieter areas of the roof as social interaction was not your forte. You had wanted to meet him for so many years now, but anxiety did not want to. Were you ready to accept the fact that you were not as boisterous as him or as cute as him, or well...as popular and rich as him.

Dressed all nice, you looked down at Eden from the secluded part pf the balcony you picked swishing a wine glass full of water imagining it as the namesake. You chose not to drink any alcohol and if you did, it wouldn't make your first impression any better if you did manage to meet him. Meeting all these people above your social status only made your anxiety grow, feeling like one wrong word would make them blacklist you from any jobs and ruin your life. Setting the glass down, you stood up and walked to the glass railing, leaning on it and crossing your arms.

It's not like you hate Eden, far from it, you just wished that you could be successful like all these people here, to be able to have that financial security and to be able to positively impact others. That's why you loved Rayman so much, just by hearing his voice made you happy and comforted knowing that he was here to give hope to everyone.

"You're looking lonely there" That same voice cut through your thoughts and caused you to look back in surprise. Eyes wide, you looked in shock as the Rayman walked closer to you with his trademark smile. Why was he here and not where the main party is? You realized you didn't say anything and was just staring. Coughing, you choked up a reply and hope you didn't look like a total idiot.

"Well uh...these types of parties aren't really my thing hah..." awkwardly chuckling as you cringed, yeah that was bad. He didn't seem detoured though as he only walked closer and stopped when he was right beside you. You knew he was short, but being right next to him really hit you for the height difference between you both.

"Why are you here then? Wanted to see handsom old me?" He winked, causing your face to warm as you stutter out denials, he wasn't convinced naturally. Honestly, that's one of the reasons you went, but it was embarrassing to admit, especially to the man himself. He chuckled and pulled a chair from nearby, up to the railing, pulling himself up and standing on it so he was eye level with you. You cracked a smile and laughed, he looked like a toddler doing that.

"What's so funny huh? You won't be laughing when I-" he then leaned closer, surprising you as his mouth was right next to your ear.

"Show you a good time" and you were dead. Face now on fire, you clamped a hand over your mouth as he pulled away, face painted with a smug smile. Was he actually flirting with you right now?

"Awe, so shy, its adorable. You gone mute...hm...I might know a way to make you talk" He knew exactly what buttons to press to make you melt, causing you to grip onto the railing to prevent you from falling as your breathing quickened.

"I am the most powerful man in Eden after all...imagine...having everything you could ever wanted and more...So. Much. More." Anymore of this and you would collapse, not knowing how to respond or what to even do. It didn't help that his hand started to caress your thigh, only increasing his advances. Never in your entire life would you believe for a second that THE Rayman would hit on you, yet here you were, him hitting on you. The moment didn't last though, as someone came out and called out to Rayman that a journalist wanted to do an interview on him. Pulling away, he said one last thing before leaving.

"This isn't over. Meet me here in the lobby tomorrow, seven pm sharp" and he was gone. Once he was out of sight, you fell to the floor and was left to process what had just happened.

[lyss-sketchbox]

Ok coming off anon because I'm trying to conquer the constant social anxiety lmao (same person who sent you Longass Thoughts on Natlan AQ) - SO YEAH personally I like Ei's character but foaming a bit at the mouth because I feel like my favorite parts of her character (namely she was NOT ready to be the archon when makoto kicked the bucket, she's got that good ol' warrior-weapon mindset knocking around in there- having her actually confront the ugly truth of the consequences of her actions was such a missed opportunity. it would've been SO good to see her actually get confronted personally without any sugarcoating. i think her learning to be less of a shitty archon would've been so much better then)

also like. im sure there were a lot of ways to improve Inazuma's story but personally i thought it would've been cooler if kokomi was a bit more. morally grey lmao. like willing to do not-so-nice things to fight god because that's what they're doing. mortals attempting to defy the god that holds dominion over their land (bc the electro archon isn't really Watatsumi's god specifically!! bc uh lmao ei killed him lol)

but yea for real in natlan every "serious problem" was severely undercut by "actually it's all good now" like "kachina is totally fine after being chased by the abyss in the afterlife, she was protected by the wayob so it's all good and she's also mentally ok" and it's like what. what are you talking about.

AND THE ARchON thing i feel like im the only one who has a gripe. tbf the story is not done yet BUT MY QUESTION IS CELESTIA ALLOWED A HUMAN (MULTIPLE EVEN) TO ASCend to the divine throne???? Like what??? IT feels like it runs counter to everything-

and like uh feels like we got really really far away from like. when you talk about the archon war in liyue it was a literal bloodbath. sacrifices upon sacrifices were made, the modern day liyue was built upon the corpses of friend and foe alike because there was no other choice. you couldn't abstain, you would die.

but in natlan???? no gods??? what???? im just losing it more than a bit over here that natlan is trying simultaneously to be a grim land of constant war but also sunshine friendship and rainbows.

at this point im prepared to be disappointed and just crossing my fingers the good writing comes back for snezhnaya's AQ bc if they fuck up snezhnaya i will literally never forgive them

Its all good man, youre so welcome to debate and talk off anon, we may disagree but never hate.

Im putting all my ramblings under cut since its gonna be as equally long and spoilery hdjsnsn

About Ei

I completely forgot about how Ei was originally a kagemusha, a weapon for her sister, her sister did all the archon work while Ei simply stood by her side. Its makes perfect sense that after the death of her sister, she would make very bad not thought out decisions and because she is an archon now, those bad decisions has really really bad aftermaths.

I personally do not have any gripes about her being basically clueless about the outside world. Grief manifests in different ways and locking yourself away and justifying it as a twisted way to gain enlightment of eternity the way your sister did, it can make sense. It is a consequence!! She is clueless of how to be an archon and what is going on in her nation, her SQ could have been used to show her trying to understand and emphatize with her people to be a better archon. NOT A REASON TO MAKE HER AN uwu sad defenseless waifu cant cook and doesnt know anything. Brother she fucking killed people and almost destroyed her nation.

About Kokomi

I like the idea of morally grey kokomi actually. It makes alot of sense. Kokomi and the watatsumi people might have some vishap descendance but they are still humans, even less so with visions. Theyre also lacking the supplies and expertise needed to continue a war with an entire nation and its archon. It would make sense that she would accept the fatuis help since they share the sentiment of 'getting to inazuma and its archon'.

But it was shown she wasnt even aware who the anonymous donor is, hell she wasnt aware people where using delusions until people starts dying. And for a girl who wrote an entire guide book with 100 different alternate plans, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS COMING...............

About Natlan's system

Yeah they really brushed off the dying part and potentially being stuck in genshin limbo if you dont get out in time too casually. The tiny child you retrieved from limbo also is... very chill and not mentally scarred or anything, she wasnt putting up a brave face, she was simply unaffected?????? One on kachina's voiceovers is gonna talk about her death but im not friendship 4 with her yet. I hope it explains SOMETHING.

Yeah the first time i heard that the archon was human and has been replaced multiple times had me gawking too, i can excuse that Celestia has been strangely inactive FOR NOW.

I wanted to bring up how the hydro archon throne being broken and Neuvi regaining his sovernity didnt even call Celestia to action but GUESS WHAT??? I DONT KNOW IF NATLAN HAPPENED BEFORE OR AFTER FONTAINE BECAUSE THEY DECIDE TO LOWER THE REQUIREMENTS TO DO NATLAN AQ!!!!!!! But well if it happened after (since Neuvis end dialogue told us to go to Natlan next), well... Celestia isnt called either so theyve just been inactive for 500 years of Natlans weird system ig.

About the """Nation of War"""

Yeah man. Sacrifices and war was dealt better in liyue. Same as Natlan, it is a nation built of war. There was war in the past, sacrifices were made to built the liyue we know now. But the sacrifices in liyue was not brushed off or belittled, those sacrifices had meaning and the people of liyue hold very high regards for the fallen. In Natlan? Its treated like some sort of sick hunger games event, they made war into entertainment.

Oh but they need the tournaments to keep the natlan fire alive. THEN RUN A SEPERATE FUCKING TOURNEY?????? MAKE EVERYONE WHO HAS AN ANCIENT NAME HAVE PROPER TRAINING AND GO TO WAR IN ARMIES PROPER???? THIS SHIT DOESNT NEED TO BE ENTERTAINMENT AND YET YOU DID. Maybe the flames are small BECAUSE YOU PICK ONLY 5 PEOPLE EVERYTIME WHEN THERES LITERALLY NO REASON VETERANS LIKE KINICH AND MUALANI TO SIT IT OUT JUST BECAUSE THEY LOST.

Oh but the ode of resurrection only works on limited people THEN SEND OUT THE BEST PEOPLE THEN???????? MUALANI, A 3 TIMES VETERAN, LOST TO KACHINA. CLEARLY THE TOURNEYS ARENT RELIABLE TO PICK WHO TO SEND.

While i can understand that while Liyue is past war and Natlan is still in war, this is... not how people in war act. The entertainment the happiness the hospitality. Its not efforts to keep morale high its literally just... happy people, sometimes they get attacked by abyss monsters yeah cool but otherwise theyre completely happy just living like that. Thats why the Nation of War thing isnt working at all, these people are not how people STILL IN WAR act. Theres no anxiety no uncertainty no worry at all, not even a smidget. These people live like happy prospering people.

You know what happened to people tryna be happy prospering people while still in war in liyue? Havria.

I hope they bring back the high AR requirement for snezhnaya so snezhnaya can be chronologically correct. I hope they take snezhnaya seriously. I hope Natlan atleast wont pull an inazuma and tripped at the very end

NONE OF THAT POWER OF FRIENDSHIP BS EITHER I didnt believe it when mualani fucking knocked it over our heads over and over and over again and its not gonna work now.

[mattphobiia]

TENSION.

the time reads 7:07pm. you are currently at the triplet's house, sitting in nick's room watching him edit while having a conversation with chris, not knowing where matt was, but it's not like you cared. nick was editing his most recent car video. suddenly, i was interrupted by a notification from someone.

"was that my phone or was that y/n's?" nick asked, eyes still glued to his screen as he clicked away at his keyboard.

"hey! what if it was my phone, huh?" chris yelled, crossing his arms.

"like fuck. you barely have a social life!" nick laughed.

you rolled your eyes as you unlock your phone, yes, it was your phone. you announced this to them and they nodded. it was from your close friend, zara.

hey y/n! im hosting a party tonight, and i would love if you could attend. you can also invite the triplets if you want, the more the better! i hope i see you tonight.

you read the message with a smile on your face. you and zara haven't hung out in months due to the lack of time you both had. it would be nice to reconnect with a friend, right?

"hey guys! my friend just messaged me about a party tonight, how we feeling?" you squealed with excitement.

nick and chris both looked at each other.

"you know what, im down! haven't been to a party in awhile. chris?" nick replied.

"duh! obviously i want to go to a party dude." he scoffed as he rushed to his room.

"chris! please tell- oh my god, so stupid." you sighed. "i guess i should tell matt about it."

nick laughed, he knew about our rivalry but he just found it immature and funny. he hurried to save the changes to his video and began ripping apart his room to find an outfit. you got up not wanting to be caught in a mess, and you slowly approached matt's room. you stood in front of his door, giving a simple knock.

"come in, y/n." matt muttered out, you slowly opened his door.

"how did you know it was me?" you asked nervously, feeling your heart race as it filled with anxiety.

"it's obvious, nick and chris just barge in, you're the only one who knocks." he sighed. "so?"

you cleared out your throat. "right, so my friend is hosting a party tonight, dont ask me what time because i don't know yet, but i just wanted to ask if you want to come?"

he stayed silent for a minute, thinking. you leaned against his wall as you waited for an answer.

"fine." he said, smirking as he slowly got up and walked to you.

you kept backing up until you hit his door, your heart pounding out your chest. he now stood directly in front of you, eyeing you down.

"w-what are you doing?" you choked out, breathing heavily as your stomach formed butterflies.

"nothing. sorry." he said, swallowing before pushing you out his room, slamming the door as you heard him sigh.

you fell against the wall, rolling your eyes as you got up and went back into nick's room where your stuff was. as soon as you walked in, you immediately noticed the state of his room.

"woah! what the fuck happened in here?" you yell out, making nick jump.

"i found an outfit! i found an outfit!" he sang, smiling stupidly as he was dancing around.

"oh my god please help me out! i have no idea what to wear."

nick happily skipped over to you and looked through your clothes. he silently grabbed a variety of dresses, comparing them all until he made his decision on a beautiful blue dress i had. he picked out some blue accessories for me that consisted of a matching pair of blue heels and a stunning crystal necklace. you stared in awe, he always made the best outfits, but this was another level of amazing!

"damn nick, thanks!" he handed you the clothes as you admired his selection.

you quickly grabbed your phone and your makeup bag before going into the bathroom to prepare. you quickly unlock your phone to text back zara.

hey zara! we would love to come, we are all getting ready and we will let you know when we arrive. cya soon girl:)

you waited for her reply as you place your phone down on the marble counter, and begin to undress from your clothes into your dress. luckily, you had a matching lingerie set that went well with the dress, so there was no worry to try match it. as the dress was half way on, matt barged in and you froze. you both froze. you looked at him as he stared at your body, his eyes dropping in awe as he snapped out his trance and covered his eyes.

"shit. sorry!" matt yelled out as he turned around and slammed the door.

oh my god. you quickly shuffled into your dress before you leaned against the cold wall, covering your face in embarrassment. you got yourself together and continued to get ready, playing your favourite songs trying to distract yourself. but oh, the way his gaze was fixated on you, the way his eyes examined you, you couldn't help it. although you "hated" him, he was attractive. very. you shook away any thoughts of him before you checked your phone to see if zara responded.

great! party starts at 8:45pm. see you guys soon, love you girl x

you gathered your things before quickly rushing out the bathroom, trying to avoid matt at any costs. you dumped your belongings onto nick's bed before sitting down and sighing.

"you good, y/n?" nick asked, stopping and looking at you.

"no!" you yelled, cupping your face in your hands. "i was getting ready and-" but suddenly, matt walked in, smirking at you.

"and?" nick interrupted, looking at you confused.

"nevermind, tell you later" you sighed.

"y/n, do you know what time we are leaving?" matt asked, examining your body and your face.

you froze, the incident from earlier replayed in your mind. snap out of it y/n!

"u-uhm... starts at 8:45 but we'll leave around 9pm or something." you stuttered out, looking like a fool. what the fuck is wrong with you? why were you stuttering over him?

"okay weirdo. by the way, nice outfit. blues my favourite color." he smirked, turning around and shutting the door behind him.

you turned back and stared at nick. did he know this? seriously? before you could bring it up, nick burst out into hysterical laughter screaming out apologies as you chased him around his room. as we slammed into the door, matt and chris opened it and we both fell forwards, nick bumping into the wall and of course i had to fall on top of matt. are you kidding me? matt. i quickly climbed off him before dropping on the floor as me and nick laughed.

"dude! what are you guys doing?" chris yelled, jumping back in fright.

"like i said, weirdos." matt replied, rolling his eyes as he got up.

you and nick helped each other up, still giggling as you all made your way to the car. you sat in the back next to nick, chris and matt both at the front. you grabbed your phone and quickly texted zara to let her know you were on the way.

9:04pm. you finally arrived. zara was waiting outside her house for us. you immediately screamed out with excitement, quickly climbing over nick and running up to her, squeezing her into a tight hug as you both jumped and squealed.

the triplets followed behind you. you broke off the hug, as you introduced them to zara. nick and chris gave her a slight hug, while matt seemed uninterested, and just gave her a fist bump. how boring. you made our way to her house. from the outside, it wasn't exactly small, but the inside was massive! lights flashed everywhere, as music was being blasted and people were dancing and drinking. you went to hold onto nick for comfort, as you hated large crowds, but accidentally grabbed matt's arm instead. however, he didn't seem to care, and he held you close as you all entered inside. zara held onto your hand as she dragged you through her house, your hold on matt's arm broke off, but you felt him staring right through you.

you and zara stuck to the beverage stand, drinking shot after shot, dancing around, while nick shortly joined us, chris wondering off to some guys to play games, while matt stuck to the corner, keeping watch of you. as the alcohol started to kick in, you stumbled back and fell onto a handsome man. blonde hair, emerald green eyes. he helped you up before steadying you up.

"are you alright, love?" he asked, smiling.

"y-" matt had approached him and dragged me away, leaving zara and nick shocked, but they continued to dance away.

"matt! what the fuck?" you yelled, the music booming throughout the room. he stayed silent.

he dragged you out to a dark corner, the music and people muffled out. he pinned you against the wall, your arms crossed up above your head, and his face close to yours.

"w- fuck. what's your problem today?" you sighed, feeling your heart race.

"i don't like him." matt replied bluntly, his eyes hooked on your lips.

"well, uhm. i don't like-"

"dont even finish that sentence." he said, his grip on your arms tightened, feeling his cold rings dig into your skin.

"m-matt." you whispered out, wincing in pain. "are you jealous?"

he licked his lips. his blue eyes once filled with awe now filled with lust. "so what if i was? i never thought i'd say this, but you've been tempting me the moment i saw you."

you tried to hide your smile. "w-" he immediately kissed you. you tried to pull back, but with no luck, you folded, melting into his passionate kiss. his tongue was now in your mouth, exploring freely as he slowly began to swirl your tongues together, making you whimper. he opened his eyes and stared into yours, breaking off the kiss before dragging you into the nearest bathroom. he threw you against the wall before shutting the door, resuming the make out. his hands roamed your body, appreciating your curves, until his hands began to slide up your dress, making you shiver. you already knew you were soaked down there, and so did matt.

"as much as i loved this outfit, i think it's time to take it off, hm?" he said, smirking as his finger held onto the elastic of your thong, letting it snap back against you, making you moan.

you nodded. his hands slid your dress off, along with your matching lingerie set. he admired the beautiful shade of blue before slowly unclipping your bra and sliding down your panties. he threw aside your clothes before placing you on the cold counter, making you shudder. he held onto your necklace before he unclipped it and shoved it in his jean pocket. his lips were now glued onto your neck, giving you many dark hickeys.

"you're mine. and everyone else needs to know. you wont be bothered, pretty girl." he gasped for air, looking up at you before making more marks. you could feel his smirk against your skin, as he sucked and kissed on your neck.

"matt, please..." you whined out. you were throbbing. you needed his touch. you needed him.

"please what?" he mimicked, his smile so innocent yet so lustful.

"touch me! f-fuck. please just touch me!" you moaned out pathetically, you didn't care how desperate you sounded, you need him.

"alright baby, no need to get so worked up." he cooed, before moving down to spread your legs apart, pulling you closer.

he looked up at you, smirking before he dived into your pussy. he began to suck on your clit, making you jolt up in shock and whine. you grabbed onto his hair, trying to pull him closer to you. you felt him smile, as his tongue flicked up and down. your moans grew louder and louder, as you felt your stomach tighten, begging for your release. he suddenly thrusted his index and middle finger inside your pussy, now starting to finger you. you were so overstimulated you couldn't even form the words to tell matt you were gonna come. you began to shake more and more until he abruptly stopped. your eyes widened as you began to whine.

"don't worry sweet girl, you can come around my dick." he said, as he began to rub your thigh teasingly, making your legs shake.

he began to unbuckle his belt, throwing it aside along with his jeans and boxers. you stared in shock at his size. that was supposed to go inside me?

"w-will that even fit?! you're huge..." you said, voice barely above a whisper.

he cupped your cheek in his hand. "don't worry, i'll make it fit." he replied sweetly.

you pussy began to throb for more, this was too much. he could tell and he lined up the tip, teasing it up and down making you moan and quiver. he slowly began to insert himself, inch by inch. you winced in pain, it slowly turned into pleasure before you gripped onto the counter for support. once he finally had it all in, he looked at you, before you gave the nod of approval. he started off slowly, not wanting to hurt you as you moaned out loudly.

"m-matt! please fas-"

he didn't have to be told twice. he immediately fastened his pace, leaning down to kiss you, groaning as he watched your breasts bounce up and down. he gripped onto your hips, rings digging into you as he pounded harder, that familiar feeling in your stomach building up again. you never thought this night would lead up to you and matt having sex, but here you are. his dick began to twitch as he slammed into you, he froze as he began releasing his come inside you. you shortly joined him, orgasming all over him. you both stayed there for a minute, appreciating this moment before he slowly pulled out, both of you moaning because of the sensitivity.

"didn't think you would have sex with me, huh?" he panted out, before beginning to laugh.

you shook your head, as you slowly got up from the counter, your legs shaking like crazy. he threw your clothes over to you, as he began to dress himself. your body could not stop shaking, and you nearly fell into the wall before matt had caught you.

"fuck, can't walk?" he smirked.

"matthew! what am i supposed to do?" you huffed out, as he began to clean and help you get dressed.

"i'll figure it out, okay?" he replied, planting a small gentle kiss on your cheek as he admired your beautiful body. he held you by your waist as you both walked out the bathroom. you stumbled around like an idiot while matt held you closely.

"there they are!" chris yelled out, pointing towards you both as zara and nick turned around. "where have you guys been?!"

"that's not your business." matt replied as he rolled his eyes.

"mattitude much! y/n, you good? you look exhausted." chris asked you, somehow not noticing the dark hickeys you had displayed on your neck.

you nodded. "yeah i am, the party was great zara, but i might get going now, i just wanna sleep."

"no worries! it was so nice to see you." she smiled, pulling you into a hug. you had to use every bone in your body to try not to collapse onto her as your legs were shaking.

"honestly same here, i'm sure we are all tired." nick said. you all said your goodbyes and walked over to matt's car.

"chris, you can sit at the back." matt said, as he assisted you into the car, clicking the seatbelt for you.

"what?! that's so unfair, i thought you hated y/n, now you're treating her like a princess!" chris complained.

"suck it up you big baby! now you get to sit next to the best person in this car." nick chimed in.

"more like stupidest." chris mumbled as he rolled his eyes, resting his head against the window.

MASTERLIST

a/n: hi this is my first post probably😭, i dont usually write much but when i do its not great and its kinda repetitive😔. i was thinking of writing on here but its kinda scary ngl... let me know if i should write more or do an introduction! any tips would help bc idk how to use tumblr like at all but yes enjoyy!!!

[choccy-milky]

Coming to share some much deserved positivity :

I have a hard time committing to reading long fanfictions so I don’t really read any aside from one shots.

I am still an avid follower of yours because your art and drawings are INSANELY GOOD. Like, professional-looking good. Criminal-it’s-only-fan-art-and-not-paid-art good 😂. I’m thirsty for every drawing you throw at us in your magnanimity, there’s that pinch sweetness into it.. idk how to even describe it. I may even download them into a file on my phone to have a look from time to time with all my favourite artists… 👀

Anyway, I am awed by people like you who produce an insane amount of content that takes TIME and DEDICATION, FOR FREE. Sharing entertainment like you do is admirable and should only be rewarded with positivity.

I am really grateful for what you all dedicated creative people in the Hogwarts Legacy fandom share with us 💕🌸.

Ended up having fun drawing Clora, but I don’t have your talent.

Damn I can’t send a picture while being anonymous on Tumblr, well here goes my online social anxiety…will I hit send…..

OH MYYY GOD WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YALL OMG also you do NOT need to worry about the fact you havent read my fic, 500k words (and counting) is a commitment LMFAO. but im glad you like my art sm, and thank you for the support!!😭AND ALSO FOR THAT CUTE ASS DRAWING OF CLORA SHES PRECIOUS im so glad u sent this even tho it wouldnt let you send it on anon BAHAHA (i get it tho i also hate sending messages off anon, even tho theyre just nice ones LOL) AND U DO HAVE TALENT look at her shes so adorable and the way you coloured her so softly and with like those watercolour looking textures is so nice to look at, im glad you had fun drawing her!!💖 AND NOW MY MODERN AU BRAINROT IS EVEN STRONGER SO TY FOR THE FOOD🤤🤤

[dipstick-university]

i'm further processing my decision to move away from wifi, and so i'm trying to make a list of all the ways i have attempted to lessen unnecessary internet use. almost every tactic worked a maximum of three times and then i forget about them and went back to my ways:

scheduling when i can access the internet

setting time limits which i immediately turn off

buying $100 software that i eventually figure out how to turn off and forget to turn back on

hiding the phone somewhere inconvenient

turning the wifi off

only looking at the phone while standing up

using one of those cute grow-a-flower app (that one was actually nice and felt good and i should try it again)

physically giving my phone to someone nearby to 'hold onto' but then feeling too embarrassed to ever repeat the experiment

going a full day without (i always forget by like 11 am)

keeping my phone away from my bed (i go to sleep to audiobooks and i can't not. this is the actual most deeply ingrained habit and drives me nuts. i get a nice little kick knowing i get to lay in my bed, do crossword puzzles and listen to scifi)

setting the screen to black and white

pomodoro timing breaks of 20 min on 5 off

deleting all social media and scrolling apps

turning the damn thing off

taking up genuinely more fun hobbies

changing my screen wallpaper to remind myself to use the phone less

putting something around the phone that i then immediately forget to put back on

all the mindfulness stuff of examining why i compulsively check it (boredom, anxiety, a way to distance from larger feelings)

having only a flip phone for two years (i got lost soo often and i had to write everything down in a notebook because the phone was so poorly made. but i still loved it and i only gave it up because a friend very aggressively gifted me an iphone 5se that i still have)

the only thing thats actually lowered my usage is regularly reading communities like r/nosurf and going through their recommended book list. i knew that big tech was pretty evil, but hearing about it repeatedly in longform is forcing me to absorb it fully. really, all these books are just asking what the fuck we're doing here. everyone knows its not great for us and yet we continue on for the assumed benefits. isnt that one of the major signs of actual addiction?

and i hope it comes across that i say this with complete empathy for all of us. no judgement. it is just surreal to be in a crowd of people staring at their phones and feeling im the only one being so crabby about a social norm. i know im not and yet...!

i was at a party saturday and someone (can't even remember his name but it still felt important to cite that it was him) mentioned how to make art you now have to be a master of social media--a conversation for a different time--while also having the self control of an ascetic who can deny the siren call of checking checking checking the internet.

this combination makes it almost impossible for so many of us to make art, let alone have commercial success with it. so i ask again: what are we doing?

[hotluncheddie]

Do you think Robin 'I don't have a strong grasp of social cues' Buckley was relieved that Steve would just tell her like it is? Like when she's babbling while El has a bit of mindflayer in her leg he just calmly tells her that's not helping he doesn't snap at her he understands what's she'd trying to do but can also see how everyone else is reacting and knows it's not what's needed. And Steve 'youre an idiot' Harrington feeling the same that she just explains things without making him feel like an idiot? Like when he's freaking out about the buttons in the elevator and she acknowledges his point that yes they did work previously he has a point about that button they won't work now because they don't have authorisation now from the Russians key card. Do you? Do you think about how much they need each other and just work perfectly together so quickly and how lonely they must've been before

im gonna be real with you lovely anon. i do not give stobin enough of my metal juices, the thought about them are not thunk at the velocity they deserve.

but that changes now bc u r so right.

these examples are so good!! they're so perfect, so meant to be. if i think about how lonely it must have been for them before i might get genuinely sad. so i’m not even gonna go there.

i just think steve would come from a world with a lot of subtext, a lot of public vs private faces and a lot of grinning and barring it. so i feel like the simplicity of being around robin, having it all out on the table; how she feels, what she's thinking, what she likes and doesn't like being so so obvious. i bet its really nice, really freeing for steve. that you can just be, be yourself.

and i think robin would also come from a world with a lot of subtext but subtext she feels like she’s on the outside of, never given the cheat sheet. plus she’s gay so that’s adds a level of anxiety to the subtext she is already struggling with. has someone figured her out? is anyone else like her and she just can’t see it? very stressful. but steve just is, he knows how to navigate people, even if they don’t react to him the same way they used to. he has all the flash cards and he’ll share no problem.

also i think steve is very sensible with a strong moral compass, ultimately hes very kind. and robin is smart but not always people smart, but again she ultimately has a strong sense of self and confidence in her own thoughts and abilities. they’re such a good mix of robins creative thinking and steves linear thinking. one will notice what the other lacks but they’re confident and comfortable enough to voice it in the first place. similar enough but also different enough. they fill in each others gaps. perfect love recipe i think.

and the start! the spark! u put them together in the neutral space of scoops ahoy. they both need to be there, hate being there and look stupid. they’re constantly around each other and have the ability to constantly surprise each other. it’s a bestie recipe made in heaven.

plus they’re both kinda mean when they want to be, much easier to not get offended if ur natural instinct is to be kinda mean back.

but i think platonic love can be a hard one sometimes. so it’s lovely that theres them for representation.

ty for sending me this <3

[life-winners-liveblog]

(( Hihi it’s me, the person who gave the “nicest threat” returns, just wanna say rq that everytime i come back to tumblr, this is one of the first things I check and EVERYTIME I DO, I KEEP GETTING JUMPSCARED BY MUCH HAPPENED SINCE I LEFT- Anyways You are amaaaaazing yes ik i already said that but that’s bc it’s true <3

Anyways I’ll actually interact with the winners for once ))

-[ Heeeellloo hello hello! Social anxiety is consuming me once again but nevertheless, y’all can call mee… *pulls out a list..* Nate. Y’all can call me Nate- cause this is my first time talkin to y’all but I have been observing for a while,,,

and FOR THE NEW GUEST BAD MAD SAD BOY JIMMY SOLIDARITYGAMING! our favourite canary, ima send him two whole packet of marshmallows, feel free to share them with everyone else! Or gatekeep it for yourself, up to you.. ima riot if the two observing steal them- aND also ima give Scott & Grian a bunch of plants/flowers bc i can, Pearl.. have a book & a pencil case full of stationeries And for martyn.. *gives him a note that reads* “you get nothing <3” *immediately after, another note drops* “ jk have these, choose your favourite! Share if you want but knowing you, you probably won’t “ proceeding to drop him a bunch of hair clips of different variants

Turning over to the two observers, don’t think I forgot about you even though I just mentioned you guys literally a paragraph ago.. Scar you can have my keychain collection, you seem like the typa guy to like keychains idk why, Scott you don’t get shit cause respectfully.. fuck you <3 ]

(( WOW THATS LONG! Sorry not sorry for that <3 but I am sorry if it’s difficult to read,, Im very tired rn & my brain is not braining! ))

(Aw thank you so much!!!! :D)

LimL!Jimmy: Marshmallows?!?! ✨✨

Scott:... Well that was an emotional 180, It's giving me quite a bit of whiplash... Also thank you for the flowers they are quite nice.

~~~~~~~

Grian: Plants? hmmmmm, we can use these on the base don't you think? Maybe if we put them over there or... Maybe up next to the lighthouse? We could make a garden somewhe-... Are you even listening?

Pearl: Oh, yeah sure.

Grian: What was I saying then?

Pearl:... Something...something...plants...?

Grian:....

~~~~~~~~

Martyn:... I am going to share them just to spite you because screw you.

[coyote-kiddo]

i was re-tagging some of my old posts and found this, so i figured i'd re-do it!!! (all at once because i do NOT have the memory to do it over 30 days)

i found petdre first via the aesthetic "babycore", and then slowly got more and more into agedre!! i also found out a while later that i had been involuntarily age regressing for years and hadnt noticed

my age when im small is kinda hard to pinpoint, but i would say somewhere between 3-5 most of the time!!

i dont have one, and i dont plan on getting one until im an adult (for safety purposes), but i have a few fictional cgs!! (stolas, toriel, and alastor are my biggest ones :3)

hm, i would say a day with one of my fictional cgs!! getting to play with the toys ive been wanting, color and draw, wear clothes that feel comfortable on my body, use teethers, bottles, diaps and pacis and watch my favorite shows without being judged or being embarrassed abt it :3 plus a nice warm bubble bath, baba of warm almond milk and a lullaby before bed!!

i have loads of sippies, a few bottles, a few teethers, a paci and one disposable diap as of right now, but i really really want a babyyourdoll classic round paci!! and also pull ups, mostly js for comfort :33 i would also like more silicon teethers bc they feel nicer than gel/water teethers heheh

i pet dream occasionally, not as often as i used to but still occasionally!! i petdre to an afghan hound, a kitty, a fox, and im considering trying wolf pup, fruit/vampire bat and deer :3

when i age dream, im not too much different from when im big bc my headspace doesnt change as much- im just a bit more childish and less embarrassed about stuff!! regressed me is wayy different though bc my regression is almost always negative- im typically more emotional, childish, clingy, and annoying.

i prefer drawing!!! i like to color also but drawing just feels so freeing to me :3

my moots!!! too shy to tag but i love them sm /p /gen

regression is almost always invol for me because of anxiety and trauma, its also usually negative which is kinda sucky

yepp!!

not that i can remember, ive used regression gear in dreams before but never regressed

this one is kinda tricky- im gonna say probably either apple slice or salteens!! i also really love juice, chocolate, graham crackers and cheese and crackers :3

yes!! i never really grew out of them, even before i started to age dream ive collected them :3

just my stepmom and my dad, i dont really think they remember though

bubs, kiddo, buddy, and little guy are my favs!! masc nicknames are sooo gender affirming to me as a fem-presenting trans man :,3

my regression is usually negative and involuntary, but nothing usually makes me "instantly regress"- its kinda a coin flip- but something that makes me feel smaller when i age dream is fuzzy socks!!

nope 😭 even if im able to buckle down and have small time after ive been involuntarily regressed it just kinda fades away

its okay, i cant really speak on it much bc i have most people i dont feel comfortable with blocked and i dont have any other socials. though i do hate when people stereotype and gatekeep it, or water it down to "fem, pastel, cute way of coping for skinny white girls only"

not a lot, but if i stumble upon one in the tags i might read it :3c

yeah, but i dont really feel comfortable being tickled

stolas goetia from helluva boss!!!! he is literally my dada guys /silly

my preference changes constantly, but it would definitely have a crib that can be converted into a toddler/big kid bed w a canopy and mobile, a sensory tent, a bouncer, a play area and a deer rocker!!!

not really, it makes it harder for me to stay small sometimes

i regress because of trauma and anxiety, i age dream as a coping mechanism for stress, gender dysphoria and missing out on my childhood :3

i almost always have to be listening to music when small, regressed or age dreaming, and my music taste jus kinda stays the same

just boundaries i set for myself- dont intentionally seek out my triggers, dont stay up too late, eat when im hungry, etc

when i regress, i get very very clingy and sad and scared, so i come off as very needy and kinda annoying (+ blunt because i kinda forget how social rules work), when i age dream im basically the same as when im big, just gigglier and more childish

maybe!! i havent tried out caregiving before but i would like to!!

im in the process of learning italian, so i sometimes watch kids' shows in italian to help practice and to make myself feel smaller!!

[sugarrookiedesign]

A Date So Bad, I Made A Tumblr Post About It

I'm sorta just listing events from the date off but its not entirely in order, and I most certainly forgot a few details bc it was all so stressful and chaotic

Mostly posting this for myself and my friends to gawk at (hi! 💓)

We met on the hellsite grindr. They're conventionally attractive, a bit odd and confusing through text, but were nice and seemed chill overall. We exchanged socials prior to meeting up and they had no local friends or much online community at all despite living in the area their whole life but I chalked it up to being newly trans.

These were the red flags I shouldn't have ignored, if you're keeping track lmao

I agreed to come to their place and my boyfriend dropped me off

First off I aint judging, but their house was completely empty besides their room even tho they claimed to have roommates and werent moving/recently moved?? unrelated but justa odd vibe and potential red flag lol

They were so erratic from the moment I met them they just kept talking n talking, and were clearly not all there bc I couldn't understand alot of what they were sayin. It made conversation so hard.

We sat on the floor of their bedroom and smoked wii'd

They got very emotional about everything and would like jump up and like grab n shake me by the shoulders to emphasize the shit they were babbling 😭

Throughout the date they gave lil signs that they were a volatile person like they explained how they have had frequent fall outs w friends and family, their exs have called the cops on them on numerous occasions(explained in bits n pieces throughout the date during their semi-coherent rambles), and they had spicy reactions to me, just like, saying anything.

Thoughout the date they said the R word 3 times even after i told them it upset me, both to be funny and because they were mad at someone in their head, they made fun of muslims(amongst many others), told me "i dont go too far left, my political opinions will get me in trouble" and didnt elaborate when I tried gently asking about it.

They asked if I wanted to have sex like 4 times like out of nowhere in different ways and I had to say "Ive told you no 4 times, absolutely not, please stop" and kept pushing questions about my kinks. They also really hammered on how confusing polyamory was and made it clear that they thought it was dumb and funny that I have an asexual partnership w my fiance even though I explained it all to them prior ro meeting. :')

Like 6 times throughout our 4 hour date they made themselves so mad from talking(basically to themselves) about their traumas that they were like yelling at themselves while staring at the ground??

Surprisingly the thing that made me text my boyfriend to pick me up ASAP was they asked me to buy them food like over and over and made me explain why I didn't want to do that it was so creepy and weird and upsetting, ik it sounds dumb but just the way they were saying shit n pushing it really triggered my anxiety 😭

(obviously manipulative voice that i notice immediately): "aw you know I could really go for some icecream but ive been broke recently and i have no food in my fridge"

me, knowing whats coming, already so sick of them: "Ah I feel you I love icecream, and I've been nearly broke recently too"

"..please buy me icecream?"

"uh no im sorry not today"

"please?"

"uuuuh, what? I dont really feel like it i already bought us snacks and i dont have alot of money"

"you said *nearly broke*. Can you please?"

"no"

"why not you have money"

and just kept going and was like asking how much I had in my bank account 😭

i try to ignore my phone when im w people to be respectful so the first time i texted my bf was to get rescued right after they begged me for food money and they just stared at me silently for like 15 seconds while I was texting before angrily saying "Oh so do you talk shit to your boyfriend when your grindr dates aren't going well? Is that it?"

for my safety I had to pretend like I was willing to go on a second date but I blocked her everywhere except grindr before I was even out of her driveway 😭😭

its hard to fully explain how fucking weird and bad this date was

One last small thing lmaooo when she put a youtube video on for us to watch she just straight up unblinkingly stared directly at my face to gauge my reactions to it FOR THE ENTIRE VIDEO I STG IF THAT ISNT SERIAL KILLER VIBES DUDE

Im tired, I just wanted headpats but I put myself in danger instead uuuugghhh

Part of it was absurd and almost-funny, I couldn't believe what was happening at times, but it was also mostly just super stressful. Lots of thoughts n anxiety swirling through my silly kitty brain 😖

Im not judging them for being clearly mentally unwell and I really hope they heal and get help for the stuff they're going through.. but also they were an objectively bad person who I need as far away from me as possible!

[olberic]

ranking anime i’ve watched in 2023:

as expected, here’s this year’s top 10 for how much i personally enjoyed the anime i’ve watched this year. ive watched more than this, but god i watched so many bad ones…. even number 10 sucks but everything else was worse. sad!

as always thank u gifmakers for ur service 🫡 the world would be nothing without u all

10. the legendary hero is dead! (2023)

dont watch this show. it sucks and its bad. hey. come here. hold my hand. now lets just watch and enjoy the OP ok? don't worry about the rest.

9. my daughter left the nest and returned as an s-rank adventurer (2023)

i have to admit this show charmed me. its not the best thing ive ever seen but its nice. comfy. yknow? i haven't finished it but it's enjoyable. can't rank it higher until i finish it

8. sabikui bisco (2022)

if it werent for the positively nonsensical jump in the middle of the show and the way theres just like. a lot of gaps? it’d rank higher. it’s a very cool premise for a show and i like the bisco/milo dynamic, and [SISTER] is fun as hell. it didnt wow me though overall, and while i enjoyed it i was hoping for more.

7. trigun stampede (2023)

im sorry trigun stans i simply didnt love it. i see the appeal i really do but it just didnt hook me. i really liked the animation and the storyline. im intrigued by whatever the fuck is going on with those plants and yall have said theres a tallgirl in the next season? so i’ll keep watching. i just didnt love it

6. that time i got reincarnated as a slime (2019-2021)

in contrast to #7, i can see why this show is weak HOWEVER i just enjoyed it. i like it. huge fan of how much gender the protag has. i love how they get new powers. i enjoy that it can be interpreted as an extremely bisexual show. it was well paced and the slime diaries OVA was a great addition. a lot of the characters really stuck with me too and its like. idk. one of my favourite isekais i guess

5. buddy daddies (2023)

this should rank higher. its so fun. its SO fun. its silly and it doesnt take itself seriously. i laughed in every episode. the dynamic between the guys is great. the dynamics between them and the kid is great. just a really solid show if you can stand the queerbaiting. i dont even care

4. bocchi the rock! (2022)

the bocchi side of tumblr is right this show rules. i like how real bocchi’s social anxiety feels (literally how it felt when i had it). the characters are entertaining, the show’s well done, they even have solid music (which band-based shows dont always do right!). its really funny and its really earnest and its a joy to watch

3. demon slayer: swordsmith village arc (2023)

i included the entertainment district arc in last year’s list so this arc makes the cut. im always late getting around to watch the new stuff and i dont want to read the manga but god DAMN does this show hit different. incredible fight scenes. i loved everything they did for the hashira backstories. i love whatever the fuck is up with genya. it even gave me some akaza to sustain me for the next year or whatever. ik this show gets overhyped but its normal hyped. to me.

2. frieren: beyond journey's end (2023)

oughhh frieren… ive only known this show for a few months but it means to much to me… i dont even wanna talk about it because its so good i just wanna watch it again. go watch frieren if you havent already its anime of the decade. to me

1. gundam: the witch from mercury (2022-2023)

ive never seen a gundam before but i will be watched them after this! what can be said about it that hasnt already been said on this site. the romance storyline is impeccable, the fights are awesome, the moral questions it posed were excellently covered. by the end of the first episode i was speechless. by the end of the last episode i'd cried like 4 times over the course of the show. this thing made me cry to happy birthday. what the fuck