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sword-brainrot · 2 years ago

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soooooo requesting a matchup please! feel free to delete this if you want-

my names lulu and i go by they/she. im just over 5’3”. also wear glasses but theyre not prescription

i like reading, listening to music, playing more relaxed video games and absolutely love writing. been dabbling a little with origami, foreign languages and singing (still no good at those though ^^;)

im really quiet and have a tendency to suppress a lot of my emotions but im working on it. im super shy and anxious around people but to others it sometimes seems like im cold and aloof. when i get scared or intimidated, i usually have to grab onto something or kinda aggressively fidget with my hands

im a lot more casual with people im comfortable with. pretty affectionate and give lots of headpats to basically anyone im friends with if theyre okay with it. but im not a fan of being touched unless i give permission/ask/need comfort. im also the mom friend and very protective of people i care about. but if someone else has to be the responsible one, im giddy and a bit childish. i have a tendency to ramble a lot when im passionate about something. i tend to put others first and try my best to help them and get them to appreciate themselves but feel guilty if i get anything in return

very easily flustered. could get the smallest compliment and i will be blushing, stammering, the whole package. insecure, some self esteem issues, struggle with accepting affection

what id be want in a partner is just someone whod be accepting of me?? it sounds generic, but i just want someone whod be supportive of my gender identity and asexuality and that i can be relaxed around and just generally unashamed to be myself

that was probably too much im sorry- fine with anyone thats not a tantou/child-coded. thank you very much!

I'm terribly sorry that this took so long! Hopefully you like your match. Also it wasn't too much at all! It really helped me get a good idea of who you are and what sword would connect with you!

I Match You With...

🌸 Juzumaru Tsunetsugu 🌸

♡ Juzumaru is a pretty quiet sword but he does talk! Especially when you ask him about what he is passionate about.

♡ Because he is a religious sword, he is someone who listens more than he speaks. He is a very patient person and he will wait for you to get your thoughts together if you ever need to speak about something.

♡ You seem to be a person you likes peace and quiet from what you listed for your hobbies/interests. Juzumaru is also like that. He spends much of his day meditating.

♡ He would be the type of person who loves to spend quiet time with someone they love beside them. Either you both are doing something together or simply being in the same room.

♡ I am unsure if one of the relaxing games you like is Stardew Valley, but I can see Juzumaru falling in love with that game. It would be a cute moment where you teach him how to play and have little date nights where the both of you play together.

♡ Juzumaru also likes origami! He likes to learn making new things with the paper. However, the thing he is best at is making paper cranes. Origami date nights could also be a thing. You teach him new folds to make and he will teach you what he knows.

♡ You and Juzumaru both suppress emotions. If you end up opening up to him and sharing your heart, he will start to feel more comfortable sharing his own thoughts.

♡ Juzumaru struggles with feeling like the weight of the world is on his shoulders most of the time. He is one of the Great Sword Under Heaven. People praise his name.

♡ But... He is also a Buddha sword. He wants people to reach enlightenment and to live happily... Yet he is also a tool to take lives.

♡ He feels like the job of turning people to the right path is ultimately on his shoulders and... he sadly cannot change everyone. He feels like he is a failure many times because of that.

♡ He is used to listening to others worries and concerns that he never considered that it was also okay for him to lean on someone else as well.

♡ You are a very supportive person and caring. Spending enough time with him will help read him better and see on the days he is struggling the most. Even if he doesn't talk to you right away, knowing you are by his side will lift the weight from his shoulders.

♡ Juzumaru wouldn't be the type to touch you without permission. He strongly stands by his beliefs in every form they were written. So if he ever wanted to touch you, even if it's to wipe something off your face, he would ask for verbal consent first.

♡ He would also ask for you to do the same for him.

♡ On the topic of touching - I headcanon Juzumaru to also be asexual. Either way, he would totally be accepting of your sexuality and gender identity. If anything, he would just ask a few questions about parts of it he does not understand so he can support you better!

Top Three Picks: Juzumaru Tsunetsugu, Hizamaru, Hacchou Nenbutsu

#Matchups #Touken Ranbu #Touken Danshi #Tourabu #Touken Ranbu Headcanons #Touken Ranbu Imagines #Touken Ranbu x Reader #TKRB #TKRB Headcanons #TKRB Imagines #TKRB x Reader #Juzumaru Tsunetsugu #Juzumaru Tsunetsugu x Reader

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petwyvern · 8 months ago

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a. btwn 14-15 years old. almost 10 years ago!

b. it doesn’t affect a huge part of my social life besides the fact that people joke about me being a dragon at work. sometimes on a bad day i do get my tail shut while closing doors and then it crinkles up :(

c. i live in a pretty small city with a lot of gardens and parks, so i get enough outside time to feel ok! we have a nearby park that is very well forested too!

d. i just kinda log them as i feel like, which doesnt specifically have to be in a diary

e. my experience has generally been that it’s hard to find friends LOL — most of this is my fault cuz i struggle with consistency. + as with any subculture, there are a variety of different personalities to get to know! im not bound to get along with everyone i suppose!

f. only really close ones

g. i have a tail & 3 sets of ears :3 i also have some horns but they got lost ;.;

i. i’m a dragon :3 lulu league of legends will always be in the background as well

j. i make jokes! that doesnt make me any less serious abt my identity!

k. 7/10 — i think i’m pretty well versed in the community, though i don’t know as much about our history as i probably should o:

l. LOVE!!

n. not sure tbh! o: i think id consider myself tameable but living in a den built into a little home?!?

o. i dont think i am

p. i think it’s pretty popular overall o: i think there are a lot of fluffy dragons

r. uuuuh i dont love it. a little bit?

s. im pretty sure mine is sexless

t. constant tail movement!!! hoarding tendencies, love the wind for flying-feeling

u. i make funny nooses sometimes, but overall i dont have to control my urges cuz my spouse and i act animally whenever we feel like at home ^__^

w. go to my pinned :3 i have my toyhouse page linked there with lots of art of my dragonself

y. id honestly probably invest in a fursuit tail at some point cuz it would just be more accurate

z. pretty sure theyre good for protecting endangered species. as long as the animals are treated humanely, i’d love to go back go the zoo :3

Alterhuman alphabet!

(feel free to copy, paste, fill in and credit me!)

A - awakening

When did you realise you are an alterhuman? At what age, how long ago?

B - balance

Does your identity affect your social life (school, work, ect.)? Does it cause troubles or not?

C - city

Do you live in a city? If yes, is it hard for you to be away from nature? Does your therio/kintype even need nature?

D - diary

Do you have a diary about your alterhuman experiences? If not, do you want to start one?

E - experience in the community

What is your experience and thoughts about the alterhuman community?

F - friends

Have you told your friends about your identity?

G - gear

Do you have any gear? If yes, is it handmade or bought?

I - identity

What is (are) your therio/kintype(s)?

J - jokes

Do you like to make little jokes about your identity or is it rather serious for you?

K - knowldege

In scale of 1-10, how big do you think your knowldege about alterhumans is? Are you new to this topic?

L - liking, loving

Do you like your therio/kintype(s)? Do you love or dislike it/them?

N - nature

Does your therio/kintype live in the wild, or rather not? (E.g. it's a house pet, or it's a robot.)

O - otherhearted

Are you also otherhearted? If yes, what is your kithtype(s)?

P - popularity

Is your therio/kintype "popular" or is it rather rare?

R - real body

Do you feel good about your psychical body? Do you experience gender dysphoria?

S - sex

Dies therio/kintype have a different sex than you?

T - traits

What are your alterhuman traits? (E.g. a need to hunt, bark, ect.)

Urges

If you have a theriotype, are you good at controlling your animalistic urges? Do they bother you?

W - wondering

How do you think you would look like, if you could psychically shapeshift into your therio/kintype? (Describe or put an inage here!)

Y - yarn

If you wanted ti buy/make a tail, would it be real fur or fake/yarn fur?

Z - zoo

How do you feel about zoos (a place, not z00philes)? Are they good or bad in your opinion? Do you want to go there to meet your theriotype (if you are a therian).

___________

That's all! Bye!🍄

#shhh #4248

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insufferable-talkstuck · 1 year ago

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fo da classpecting

first things first I am incredibly lonely; come to think of it, my entire family is lonely. I was pretty isolated in my childhood, and no matter how I tried to talk to others, people eventually forgot I existed. I dont socialize with a lot of people now and i dont know how to. Same deal with my family, they think they have new friends in a new neighborhood and suddenly nobody is talking with them much anymore. In some instances its kind of funny when people forget that im there, and whenever I leave its like their short-term memory deletes me from their brain.

I was also a very very angry child. Im still angry but i repress it around people. One thing that really annoys me is when people assume im "pure" or "innocent" when i do not view myself like that at all. Its so goddamn weird when I do something and someone else is like "you're a little ray of sunshine!" no i am not. Stop acting like i am a baby. Im an angry and vengeful person who's become depressed enough to not have the energy to actively pursue my vengeance spree. I can only do it in my mind because of the no-energy thing, where im fucking shit up in a violently physical way. in my mind, they always deserve it.

I dont care about liars at all, however its a specific type of liar. if you lie to protect something other than yourself, thats fine. if you lie for malicious reasons i hope you get dropped off a cliff. I destroyed someone elses friendship on purpose because I lead them into exposing their own lie. It was me and 4 other people against the 1 person, and i put the idea of and encouraged/pushed the other 4 into essentially ostracizing the other person from the group. and yknow what? it was really fucking fun to do it. felt great.

Going back to the socialization thing, letting people know me is an awful feeling. I could tell someone online only my name and im already contemplating fake-deleting my account so i'll never have to talk to them again. I have been hurt repeatedly in the past by friendships and people ive trusted, so ive just adopted the principle that people cannot hurt me if they do not know me.

And not gonna lie, i do not expect to live long. im nearing the age i thought id die at and im slowly losing faith in the fact that i'll die by then, and i dont know what to do because that belief has been with me for most of my life. My whole life has just been "whats the point if im gonna die soon? why plan for anything?" and now i gotta start planning for shit because life doesnt work like that.

Prince of Time

princes are probably my favorite class, can you tell? the other classpect i thought about would be thief of space, im putting that out there if you think it's more fitting but let's get into prince of time

you say you're a very lonely person and have trouble socializing, the space bound are the designated lonely players—

—Time and Space are opposites, each one across of eachother in the aspect wheel and very different in themselves, when a player falls under a destructive class however they often neglect their own aspect and portray the opposing one ( Dirk being the prince of heart; having trouble expressing emotion, having "mind-control" like powers, destroying heart and soul.. all that. as well as Eridan the prince of hope; having outbursts of rage, destroying all hope within his session, deeming himself "hopeless" )

Time players are also associated with destruction and decay—do with that what you will i thought it should be stated considering your whole outlook on things

aand lastly the age concern, in hindsight it's extremely stupid to take a depressing attitude you have twords living and turn it into a reason for classpecting but that's what you're here for and I deliver. being a Prince of Time somebody who destroys time wouldn't be too uncharacteristic of an assumption to make about someone who doesn't think they have a lot of time left

๑ a prince of time would be extremely dangerous to have in a session and could very easily break the game, anyway, this was the best i could do go hit some clocks bye ๑

#classpect requests are always open btw�� i find it weird when people say “i dont know if you still do classpects but—” i always do classpects #go nuts #homestuck #classpect #classpect assignment #classpects #prince of time

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dance-of-deduction · 3 years ago

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Follow-up question : I probably should've included this with the first question.

Since we talked about crests in japan and reading through your answer I remembered that British characters in the game also had the tendency to include a sort of symbol on their clothes and/or on their items, etc...So I was wondering if that was a thing at the time or if it's just the artists' choice.

(All of this talk about crests is making me consider designing one for myself for fun, you could say I've been absorbing the game's aesthetics and mood too much haha)

Thanks again!

(Referring to this ask)

For starters, I think it's very cool that you want to design your own, I say go for it!! I'd love to see it if you do. I haven't stopped thinking about the games since I beat them in February, so you're not alone there.

Second, when looking into this, my mind went to heraldry – the system of coats of arms and crests that was used in Europe - because those were symbols that showed one's heritage, like kamon (family crests). But I couldn't find any evidence to suggest that wearing a crest, coat of arms, or any other distinguishing symbol on clothing was a regular practice in Victorian England. By this era, heraldry was mostly used to decorate personal belongings and the home, paraded as a symbol of status regardless of whether a person could actually lay claim to that symbol's heritage. Someone tell me if I'm missing something, though!

(In editing this, I realized that pretty much everything after this point does nothing to answer your question...but you might find it interesting! It feels like a waste to cut, but feel free to stop reading here if you already got the answer you were looking for.)

Like kamon, heraldry was originally a way to distinguish friend from foe on the battlefield, but later evolved into a complex system that illustrated one's family history, as well as one’s place in the family. For example, a fleur-de-lis on a coat of arms meant that the bearer was the sixth son.

[All image IDs are in alt text]

[source]

Know who uses a fleur-de-lis as a cravat pin?

New headcanon acquired, lol. But more importantly, the first symbol is the van Zieks family crest, which you can also see on his shoulder patch and belt buckle. See this post for more interesting analysis on the fleur-de-lis as it relates to Barok.

Whereas the Japanese characters' outfits are very historically accurate, the British characters' outfits are more concerned with evoking a certain mood, or representing an aspect of the character themselves. Art director Kazuya Nuri said that he tried to keep the Japanese characters' designs grounded in reality, as opposed to Herlock, who was deliberately designed with non-Victorian elements:

In order to clearly express the era in which the game is set, I gave Ryunosuke and Susato looks that were typical of Japanese students from the Meiji era. (…) However, I was careful to balance the flashy characteristic flares I gave to them in order to preserve that more grounded feeling I was going for.

(...)

On top of that, I wanted to add some steampunk flavor to Sholmes and all things related to him. I gave him an outfit that is, at once, anachronistic, and a benchmark for the fantastical elements of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles (it’s only one of the many fanciful things about the world in this game). [source]

And in another interview, he said this about Iris:

Her keywords were “girl genius”, which invoked images of a gothic appearance and the idea of a mad scientist. Slightly psychedelic elements. Her design might be a bit beyond her time. I made sure that the items she has with her form a pair with those of Holmes. [source]

In the in-game design notes, Nuri also mentions that Herlock's and Iris's symbols are meant to represent their relationship, with the gear (Herlock) surrounding and protecting the flower (Iris).

van Zieks’s design is an interesting combination of fantastic and realistic, inspired by vampires and werewolves, but also British military attire. And in fact, military uniforms bore the closest thing I could find to crest-like symbols. Each regiment had a unique insignia that could be found on on one’s helmet or cap, as a collar badge, on buttons, on the shoulder, or on a belt buckle. So in that sense, Barok's family crest belt buckle isn't totally fanciful; it could be a product of the military inspiration in his design.

Insignia designs varied greatly depending on division and the era, but the most recurring single visual motif was of a crown - a king's or a queen's, depending on the current monarch. Below is an example taken from the Household Cavalry uniform:

If anyone is interested in seeing more examples of insignias, or in exploring the world of British military uniforms, Uniformology is a fantastic resource. Not only is it incredibly comprehensive, but you can also contact the site owner if you have any difficult-to-answer questions. I've also included a couple links at the very end to more info on heraldry that might come in handy as you design your own symbol.

Thank you for asking - I hope that decently answers your question! If not, or if you have any follow-up questions, I encourage you and anyone else to ask any time.

Sources and Further Reading

A beginner's guide to heraldry | English Heritage

Heraldry Symbols and What They Mean - Hall of Names

The Social and Cultural Significance of Victorian Heraldry

TGAA character design commentary

#tgaa meta #the great ace attorney #tgaa #dai gyakuten saiban #dgs #britain #asks

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caspersscareschool · 3 years ago

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since youre a fellow trans mitsuri enjoyer, i thought id ask, but how would you personally go about making her a trans woman in the story while still taking in consideration her canonical themes, narratives, and the time period? (may or may not be looking for ideas on how to make mitsuri trans in my rewrite lol)

HIIIII OTHER SOLACE HIHIHI OMG i forgot to finish answering this sorry but HI. SO.

first a disclaimer: i am not transfem and am by no means an authority on experiences like this, so girl followers are welcome to correct me on anything or chime in. also i’m having trouble articulating myself rn so this might not make sense

i actually think being trans fits really neatly into mitsuri's existing narrative: no matter how bright and bubbly and feminine she is on the inside, she always feels like her body is too big, too strange, to fit in the tiny box of conventional womanhood, and society never treats her like a woman. being a woman to her means being worthy of love--the same giddy, abundant, unconditional love she pours out into the world--and everyone tells her she has to make herself smaller and smaller to fit into this microscopic box. love, to her, is innate and and abundant and unconditional to everyone but her until her friends show her otherwise

she probably came out from a very young age, and since i'm pretty sure her family is decently well-off, i think her parents are very supportive, especially her dad, which is why she has so many nice clothes and stuff like that. i think she wanted to get married so badly at first, not just out of love, but to prove that she could be a wife, and everything that supposedly entails: she could be small, she could be quiet, she could be obedient. she could fit into this box if she tried hard enough. she starved herself for that, and it still wasn't enough. i think her parents support her in getting married just because they want her to do what makes her happy, plus i guess it was a thing of the time for girls to get married young and they didn’t want to suggest she couldn’t do it or something. idk

a lot of her journey in loving herself has to do with defining womanhood on her own terms and transforming her idea of femininity from a prison to a playground. like. i don’t think she had to fall in love to realize that she possesses the same unique, beautiful light that she sees in everyone else, she lights up a room just by being there, and she doesn’t have to apologize for taking up space . idk

but yeah. mitsuri's entire character arc IMMEDIATELY struck me as a very straightforward allegory for transfemininity, but ik a lot of other marginalized women have versions of this experience of being alienated from a narrow definition of womanhood too, which is why her whole character holds so much unrealized potential. idk if any of this was helpful at all but basically i think you could do a lot with her. i rlly need to catch up on your rewrite lol

sort of unrelated, but i think gender ties really strongly into sanemi's values as well, in that he forged his own definition of manhood by the negative space his father left and his desire to protect his family. but that void only grew as they lost more and more, which is why he acts much larger than life and holds other men to such an impossible standard of strength and responsibility, considering anyone who falls short of it either pathetic or deliberately cruel, while being more likely to respect and trust women upon meeting them. he and mitsuri both hold themselves to unrealistic expectations based on cartoonish ideas of gender roles and viewing them as trans adds a layer of nuance to their existing character arcs imo and i wish they interacted more because of that <//3

#this is word vomit sorry #kny

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distant3247 · 1 year ago

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Hi op. You caught me when I was in a mood to write A Book.

So take all this with a grain of salt as I am also as you said too pretty to understand all these numbers, but, I also literally just finished researching the same thing for myself r n so I thought id share my method:

if you are using this specifically for gaming, id legit look up some of the games you want to play on steam + start w their system requirements.

lets use Cyberpunk 2077 for an example, since it should set a pretty high benchmark:

IMAGE ID:

System Requirements - Minimum

Requires a 64-bit processor and operating system

OS: Windows 10

Processor: Intel Core i5-3570K or AMD FX-8310

Memory: 8 GB ram

Graphics: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 970 or AMD Radeon RX 470

DirectX: Version 12

Storage: 70 GB available space

System Requirements - Recommended:

Same as above, except for the following:

Processor: Intel Core i7-4790 or AMD Ryzen 3 3200G

Memory: 12 gm ram

Graphics: GTX 1060 6GB / GTX 1660 Super OT Radeon RX 590

Notes: SSD recommended.

END ID.

So first off, were going to re-examine the hard drive + RAM recommended.

Its a bit of a red flag that 70gb is both the minimum storage and the recommended storage. That tells me we should actually expect it to be more. So, im going to pull a NASA round that to 100 and double it; lets say we should have at least 200gb to run this comfortably.

I think we should also expect to need significantly more than the recommended amount of RAM. RAM is used by p much everything and is directly related to how well a PC can multitask, so if you want to *just* play your game + maybe do something 'lite' as well 12 would probably do - but if youre in fandom you might be doing things like writing or gifmaking simultaneously, in which case you'll want a significant boost in RAM. considering the difference between minimum and recommended ram is 4gb, im gonna say lets do another increase of 4gb.

im also going to say if the recommendation says ssd thats important enough to include; more details on the SSD, the graphics, and the CPU later.

so, just from looking at one game to start I know I personally want the following minimums:

Windows 10 or later, must be 64-bit;

16+ GB of RAM;

200+ GB SSD/solid state hard drive.

if I was in a hurry/didnt want to do much more research, this is what id start plugging into different websites + filtering for to get an idea of what prices to expect.

some general notes on buying computers online:

it helps a lot if you have at least one more tech savvy friend you can show potential buys to for a 'sanity check'; they can spot things like scams or 'too good to be true's you just wont be able to see due to difference in experience.

you can save a lot of money buying from a refurbishers but be careful. green flags: free returns, refurbishers warranty or guarantee, especially if its more than 90 days. red flags: no returns or pay to return, anything that makes returns too difficult.

if you buy from a big name place they'll usually offer extra warranties for a monthly or one time fee; depending on the fine print they can sometimes be really worth it. eg accidental drop protection on a laptop, data recovery on a media PC

now lets talk more specifics on processing/CPUs and graphics/GPUs.

if you have the time to research, this is the thing that is 20% of the work but takes 80% of the time.

believe it or not you can have a gaming PC that is p much just *perfect* expect for these 1 or 2 parts and it will not run your game. Worse, these are parts that are not easily replaceable/upgradable - unless youre p comfortable w building PCs as a hobby, you should basically expect this is not something you can change - once this is outdated you will be replacing your pc.

I am simplifying a *lot* here, but badically, GPU means 'processing power specifically as pertains to graphics'; most listings wont mention the GPU at all, some will mention an integrated GPU; these are more likely to be machines that probably can play some games but arent really optimized for it.

'dedicated separate GPU' is a massive green flag a pc has been beefed up specifically to be v good at graphics, meaning your odds its a dedicated gaming pc or maybe even an art PC are much much higher

(this is another thing where your scam checker/more tech savvy friend could be very useful; they might be able to tell you at a glance if a listing that says its a gaming PC can handle a triple A or maybe just minecraft - and hopefully also give you an idea how long until even Minecraft is too beefy for it.)

If you dont have that friend, I would recommend make sure the CPU+GPU are both some well-known 'all we do is gaming' brand

eg looking at that Cyberpunk 2077 example again - notice some of the brands we see: Intel, AMD, GTX, etc.

Intel does a little bit of everything, you will see Intel appear in listings again and again - *but* that also makes it harder to tell if youre looking at a general purpose machine or a dedicated gaming machine. If you stick with well known gaming brands + parts - eg not just AMD brand but the AMD Ryzen line - then you should be good.

If you want to do this part the long way, it will require actually learning a bit about 'architecture' as pertains to processors + operating systems - and thats about the point where my brain noped out and decided I need a break.

Some final quick notes:

1) avoid anything with eMMC. this is a type of storage used in lightweight netbooks and a huge red flag this pc will not be able to handle, like, anything.

2) ssd is worth it. again skipping over technical details, it is a huge green flag to see a pc w 2+ hard drives, and the os is kept super safe + protected on its own separate SSD.

3) god damn man, games are beefy these days and getting beefier all the time. if youre going to be upgrading anything its probably your storage and RAM.

keep in mind: upgrading can be a real headache if you are not a pc hobbyist. you will probably be tempted to go oh ill add more ram later it'll be cheaper but I would strongly recommend you pay for a little more ram at the outset instead. believe it or not sometimes you get headaches like your ram doesn't all 'match' so you have to replace all of it at once rather than just add a little later - personally i think a little more capital investment is well worth avoiding that later. (also, youre going to want to know the max RAM + storage your pc can take)

4) storage on the other hand is easier:

there are generally less headaches when replacing internal harddrives, and you can support them with cheaper + easier to get external hard drives. if needed you could even install just a few games at a time on the ssd - this should literally make some more demanding games run better - and the rest on cheaper drives.

5) a final note/disclaimer -

I dont know if you'll find any of this useful but I hope you do. These are basically the same kind of notes I made for myself

may purchase a gaming pc but im too pretty to understand what any of these numbers mean :(

#i just wanna be clear im trying to info dump not Splain at you

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opes-magnas · 4 years ago

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『 as lonely as time can get. 』

It’s finally here!! I’m a terribly slow writer, and am really thankful to all those who waited for this! Hopefully you enjoy. Thank you so much to @hamjjy, @kaavijournals and Lady L for beta reading this, you guys are the best!

Listen to this playlist here for the best experience!

tw: cursing, body sensitivity, very subtle idea of anxiety and toxic relationships are portrayed.

~calypso <3

I. the moon can't shine on her own.

She looks serene tonight - high up in the night sky, not a single star to accompany her. Does the moon feel lonely like that? Does she ever need a warm hug? Perhaps she gets one from the sun, and he accompanies her all time. Does the sun shine for her? So that the world can see her beauty? Perhaps so. When she can't see him, she turns bloody red; she seems disturbed. Hurt. Lost. Her fury always frightened the humans. It made them shiver inside their homes, praying to see the familiar ball of light rise from the east to calm her down. Perhaps it is better if they could only see her beauty. But does that mean the sun shines, not to show her beauty, but to protect the humans from her true self? Perhaps so.

The sun and the moon are a pair. And they will continue to be.

As long as the moon can't shine on her own.

Let's stop thinking, Luna.

The moon seems lonely.

I look up at the clock. A red, metallic light tells me its 3:48 am, 3rd April. Great, now I can have four shots of espresso for breakfast. Thank you, oh great mind, for deciding that we needed to have that conversation earlier. I sit up on the bed and rub my eyes. The curtain flutters from the soft wind blowing in through the window. Cicadas fill up the silence as I look at the full moon illuminating my room another time. Oh, how I hate the moon. What a hypocrite. I look away, and my eyes find the pile of open textbooks and spark notes I abandoned. A small smile creeps up my face. At least I'll ace that History test tomorrow. I could imagine the Boba Tea reward from Leo in my hands already. Leo. The annoying kid next door who's been stuck with me since I was five. Don't worry, though. I don't like him. Not anymore. He made it extremely clear that I was 'a size too big' for him. Then why do I still hang out with him? Short answer - I beat him up, he apologized. I shall offer no elaboration. Still, a lump forms in my throat. And maybe because he wasn't completely wrong.

I get up to go grab a glass of water. Mochi is lying in her bed in the hallway. This is the first time she didn't stir awake when I thumped across the room. The poor fluffball of a cat is probably very tired from the bath I forced her into in the evening.

You need to lose a few pounds anyways, Luna. Get rid of those love handles. Maybe some fat on your back too. That'll make people find you more approachable.

It isn't toxic if it's true, right?

That night, I decide that my glass is half-empty rather than full, and go back to bed. Suddenly, Mochi wakes up and runs into my room. She snuggles in and throws her paws on my hair like it's her property. I choose to oblige the demon for today.

The last thing I see before sleep lures me is the clock gleaming '3:59 am'.

/////-----

It's too warm in my blanket. I almost want to peel my skin off. I need to get sleep, I have a test soo- I jolt awake. Mochi is no longer next to me. I assume she's back in the comfort of her bed, considering the temperature in the room. I let out a groan as my hand outstretches to the switchboard. After a few terrible attempts, I finally turn on the ceiling fan. As sleep threatens to take me again, I see that it's still dark out and the moon looks just as annoying as it did earlier, its ever luminant light breaking down the walls of my privacy. My eyes turn to the direction of the clock- 3:48 am, 3rd April. Huh, weird. I realize I must have had one of those five-minute, extra strength-giving, amazing nap- Wait why does the clock say it's 3:48 am?

I grab my phone. The sudden light blinds me for a second, and through squinted eyes I see 3:49 am on the screen. Huh, really weird. Wasn't I awake just now - err, earlier? Wait what? I realize I make no sense, maybe I just read the time wrong the first time. My brain is repeating the features of the Hammurabi Code, my drowsy eyes are drooping, and I meet slumber once more.

I barely feel Mochi slipping back into my blanket.

/////-----

I wake up in wonder why my alarm hasn't rung yet. The room is still dark, the moon stares at me curiously. Give me some privacy, moon. My eyes turn towards the clock for the third time this night- 3:46 am, 3rd April. Bullshit. I've been asleep for hours now; I won't need those four espresso shots for breakfast anymore. My tongue clicks involuntarily. Is this some sort of a stupid prank? Leo is definitely behind this, I'm going to hunt that dipshit down.

Come to your senses, Luna. The universe cannot prank you. That's impossible. And stupid.

I grab my phone again. An attempt in vain, I realize, when I see the screen displaying the same time. I text Leo.

| loser |

you (3:46 am, 03.04.2021): you awake? (read)

loser (3:48 am, 03.04.2021): no

A chill goes down my spine. Did the just relive 3:38 am? I decide to call Leo. Two rings in, I hear a familiar voice, 'I said I wasn't awake.' He sounds tired, voice raspy and strained. You'd think he'd just woken up from the but he's the sort of person who thinks sleep is for the weak. 'Yeah no shit, Sherlock. I'm speaking to your alter ego, Thomas.', I reply.

He decides to ignore my bad retaliation, and saves me from the embarrassment. 'Why is my star pupil awake at 3 in the morning? Has she forgotten about the test she will help me cheat tomorrow?', he asks. Ah, this freeloader. I'm gonna kick his ass. My hands move frantically in the air out of annoyance, 'I am not helping you with anything!', I scream-shout into the phone, afraid I'll wake Mochi up in the hallway. She's a bigger annoyance than Leo; no one in the universe has energy to deal with a grumpy Mochi.

'Honey, you love me.'

'You're being delusional.', I deadpan.

'Is my chubby baby irritated?', he says in a fake cooing voice. And that got me.

'Leo, I did not call you at 3 in the fucking morning for you to put me down.'

The other side of the line immediately goes silent. Silence that reminded me of the last time this happened. Silence between the two of us on a Boba Tea study session in the park after an argument, the only sound being the pages of my sociology textbook being turned, and of the sound of baby birds in a nest nearby. Though I know that Leo meant it as a term of endearment, I couldn't believe he wouldn't ever, well, consider me more than just a friend because of it. A few seconds (sometimes minutes) pass before -

'I'm sorry, Lunie, you know I don't mean it,'

Another apology.

I sigh. I'm tired of this conversation again. I'm tired of having to deal with the same problem again. I'm tired of people putting me down. I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm tired of trying to look pretty. I'm tired of Leo. I'm tired of me. I'm tired of another heartbreak. I know his apology is genuine. I know he doesn't mean it. I know he's just being the Leo he always is. But somehow his words still continue to haunt me. Maybe it's because it's coming from someone who means to me the most, coming from someone who brightens me up, like the sun does to the moon. Then why am I the only one taking it seriously? Why am I trying to fit into someone else's standards? Why am I so painfully aware of everything but still choosing to be blind?

Why am I not able to love myself even though I want to?

'Luna? You there?', his voice breaks me from my train of thought. Weirdly, he sounds quite scared. 'I didn't realize how much it bothers you, I swear I won-'

Mochi jumps onto the bed and snuggles into my head again, paws in a similar place in my hair. A weird sense of Deja vu washes over me again. And then-

『 pop! the world has reset.』

My eyes opened in fear as a gasp escapes my mouth. I'm sitting on my bed, trying to comprehend what just happened. The curtains flutter with the wind blowing by. The moon stares in curiosity. My phone's on the bedside table. The clock gleams with a bright '3:01 am' displayed on it. And the problem is that I wasn't dreaming, and I wasn't mistaking the time either.

I'm in a time loop.

II. a tub fills with water only to spill it.

I fucking hate whoever wrote Groundhog Day.

Like who decided that? Who decided to say 'Hey, let's make a movie based on time loops!'? 'Let's make a dude live the same day all over again till he gets it right! Let's make him really happy, then really sad!'

Son, I'm this close to pulling an Ides of March on you.

I seem to be looping every hour, more specifically from three in the morning to four. Five hours have passed by, but my clock tells me it's precisely 3:18 am. Great. My dearly detested friend, the moon, is my only companion in this war with time (sorry Mochi). In the five hours that should have gone by, I have accomplished the following:

Two and a half hours of sleep - though I wake up when the clock resets.

Half an hour of revision for that History test I need to write after I get out of this shit.

Thirty minutes of planning a workout, Fifteen minutes of Yoga.

Five minutes of trash talking the moon, Ten minutes of dealing with grumpy Mochi who woke up as I exercised.

Thirty minutes of wondering if Leo's looping with me, and

Half an hour of figuring out what went wrong, and how to make the night perfect.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to remember anymore. I've tried everything - making notes, scribbling on the wall, writing on myself, engraving things on desk - but none of them seem to make it through when the loop resets. I'm too tired to talk to Leo, knowing very well that he would definitely not believe me. And partly because I'm afraid I'll lose my temper and get hurt again. I'm afraid I'll end up being the insecure bad guy, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves someone better. Someone who's prettier, kinder and happier. Not telling him for the time being also meant that I'll never find out if he was looping with me. But that probably isn't the case, the universe is cruel for a reason. This is perhaps its punishment for me. I must go through this alone. No one's ever been by my side anyways.

I'm as lonely as the moon.

/////-----

Another few hours pass. The pop between every reset scares me lesser and lesser. But my desperation to return back to normal is growing. I've been trying to figure out what went wrong for the past hour in the neighbourhood park. The cold air perfectly paired up with the mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hands. Was it me staying awake this long? Should I have just gone to sleep? There must have been something I did wrong that hour. My heart wishes to call Leo and confide in him. And the more time goes by, the more my mind wishes to oblige to that crazy request.

I pull out my phone, which gleams a bright '3:58 am'. It's almost time for the reset. In two minutes, I'll be magically transported back to my bed. I sigh. I can't take living the same hour again. The hour grips my sanity like it is a play toy. I waste another countless moment wondering where I went wrong.

『 pop! the world has reset.』

Well, I guess there's no place like home. I wonder if Mochi was worried the previous hour when she didn't find me in the bed. Do cats feel worry for their owners? Does Mochi care for me? What kind of a disgusting ship is this? Cringe, cringe, cringe. Shut up, Luna. I bury my nonsensical idea of my cat showing me love for once in the deep pits of my mind, and pretend I never thought of such blasphemy. I shift under my blankets, and decide to sleep through this hour, foolishly hoping that the reset would never take place if I was never awake, though I woke up when the clock reset each time earlier. My eyes look at the clock - 3:05 am.

That's when doorbell suddenly rang. I launch up in surprise. This didn't happen before. My heart begins to pound extremely hard, my head hazed in confusion. I run towards the door as quickly as possible stirring Mochi awake in the process, and fling it open.

It's Leo. And he's in tears.

His eyes are filled with fear, breath unsteady. Beads of sweat line his neck as he tries to get words out. Leo grips my hands tightly, as though he wants me to hold him and tell him it was going to be okay. This hasn't happened in a very long time. He's gotten a much better hold on his anxiety in the past few years. I pull him into a hug and mutter words of comfort. His head is leaning on mine, and his breath slows. I tell him we'd be alright, and hum a calming tune. And we stay like that for the next five minutes.

'Luna,', Leo whispers into the night. 'Would you believe me if I told you something crazy?'

'Like what?'

'Like a war against the clock.'

And that's when I knew. Tears start brimming in my eyes as I give out a sigh of relief. 'Like a time loop?', I say as I hug Leo a little tighter. This time I needed one to remind me I wasn't alone. He seems to catch on as well, a sob escapes from him as he melts in. We stay in each other's arms, in each other's comfort - a place where walls were deaf to all the shared secrets, a sanctuary with no limits.

Oh, what I'd do to protect it.

Leo pulls away, his eyes disappear and his lips form into a sheepish grin. His face is puffy from all the crying, but it glows in the soft moonlight. My eyes widen in surprise as he grabs my hand and drags me out the door. I manage to see the clock on the kitchen counter gleaming with a bright '3:15 am.' before blood rushed to my face upon meeting the cold air.

'Where are we going? Are yo- ah it's fucking cold out here!', I complain.

'Ice Cream.' Classic hungry Leo. This boy is a demon.

iii. the twilight hour.

'What's wrong with you?!', I huff as I bend down to catch my breath and hide myself under a tree. Leo, on the other hand, is breathing quite easy, a stupid grin plastered on his face (oh, how I want to punch him). His hands hold up a bag with three tubs of mint chocolate Ice Cream like they're the greatest creation of God. 'Did you really have to steal Ice Cream?! Are you five?', I say as I recall the incident that just took place, how Leo basically ran out the convenience store with the sweet goodies without paying and left me, his dear, penniless (and only) friend as the bait to a potential flat-earther of a cashier (long story, don't ask).

And now we're here, the park I was in the previous hour. There's not a single soul around. The only companion being the moon once again. His smile shines through like the sun, however.

'I'm rweally sowwy, delulu,', he retorts.

'My name is Luna, and no one can ever be as delusional as you, you dill hole.', I say, my ears red.

'Good now, I shalt promoteth thee to 'Deluna'. Thee has't been felicitat'd.'

I click my lips in annoyance. I know quite well that when the clock resets, all the stolen Ice Cream would be back in the freezer. But I try my best to maintain a straight face to show my discontent. That's right Luna, assert your fucking dominance. I notice that his hazel eyes shining with the mischief I'm used to once again. He's back to the loud, obnoxious and teasing Leo he's always been. Leo who's carefree, Leo who's horribly reckless, Leo who finds happiness in uncertainty. My Leo. My lips slowly curl into a smile, and I give in. He's happy, and that makes me happy too. Leo suddenly pulls out his phone.

'Look here, Partner in time.', he says cheekily. I hear a click. My brows wring into discomfort and confusion.

'What? You look pretty in the moonlight.', he states without skipping a beat. There's a million tugs in my stomach, and blood rushes to my bronze skin. Butterflies soon turn into more sinister as I remember our conversation on the phone earlier. My face falls, if only this boy knew what he puts me through. First I'm not good enough, and now I'm pretty? Does he really throw around stuff like that without giving it a second thought? Does he not realize all that he's putting me through?

This is pointless. My feelings for him are pointless. The amount of time I waste on this is pointless. 'Our friendship is pointless.', I say. Regret follows immediately. Leo's face turns grim too; an unreadable expression plastered on his face. I suddenly remember something I jotted down my sociology textbook.

words left unspoken, my hearts screams, my head's in pain, we are in conflict.

Tears well up in my eyes again. This is a conflict, the most peaceful one at that. Terrifying. One that makes you curl into a ball and wish you never existed. One fueled by guilt, by insecurity, by ignorance. I remember the rest of the poem.

one of us was meant to get hurt, almost as though the heavens proclaimed it, on the day of creation. the celestial sky cried tears of gold, for it knew fate was cruel, but humans are crueler.

My hands are getting colder. My breath is hitching as my sobs get louder. Leo rushes towards me and tries to pull me into another hug. As much as I try to resist, he pulls me into his embrace. Fear devours my heart as I realize how I didn't feel at home anymore. I knew this sanctuary was going to break sooner or later. My heart is sick. It pains far too much as it beats in his embrace. Will it stop if I pull away? I try.

It does.

'Luna, what's wrong?!', Leo asks, truly afraid of what was happening.

'Us, Leo. Us.', I reply, voice barely a notch away from a whisper.

'What's wrong with us? We're Leo and Luna! You're the other half of thi-'

'Stop. Please.', I say firmly. My head feels too heavy, my heart too light. The moon shines down on me in its disgusting glory. I can't take it anymore. 'You're the reason I hate the moon, Leo. Because you are the sun. You only shine on me to mock me. To make me feel inferior.'

'What're you talking abou-'

My tongue clicks loudly. 'You're so hypocritical! You're an asshole who makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world, before throwing me out yourself. You make me feel insecure, Leo. I don't feel like I'm myself with you anymore.', I say, vitriol burning my throat. 'You disregard what I feel for you, because I'm the moon. You outcast me, because I'm the moon. You tie me down.

'You remind me of why I'll never shine on my own.'

I look at Leo. His hazel eyes turned dark, head down in shock. There's not a single drop of water in his eyes. He stands under the moonlight in silence. I can hear my heart palpitating.

'Why do you think the Sun shines, Luna?', he whispers. 'Is it to light the day, or to light the night?', he asks, a little louder this time. I open my mouth to answer.

'It's to light the night, Luna.', he interrupts. He knew I'd say neither. The sun shines for himself. He is selfish.

'The sun sheds it's light, because if it didn't, the moon would never-'

'That's exactly the prob-'

'get to see the world.' I stop midway in confusion. What is he saying?

'The sun shines because he wants the moon to see the world, Luna. He shines because if he didn't, the moon would be lonely. He makes sure to shed the perfect amount of light on her, so that she guides the traveler without scalding them, without making them blind.

'If he never shone, he'd have never have found his other half. The sun would have been just as lonely as the moon would have, Luna. The sun and moon are a pair, not because the moon can't shine on her own, but because they are lonely without each other.', Leo says.

And epiphany struck down like lightning. Leo needs me as much as I need him. He'd be just as lonely as I'd been without him. The moon's identity without the sun hadn't ever been her own. It was due to the sun's light she was herself. The sun made her the moon, and the moon made him the sun. They were inseparable, as destiny willed them to be, for they needed each other. For the sun to shine the brightest, and the moon to give comfort. But all that didn't answer why-

'Why did you say I wasn't enough for you?', I say, reminiscing that day in the park. I remember picking out a bouquet of purple lilacs after studying a book about plant symbolism in the library. I spent hours trying to make myself look pretty. I spent a lot of time trying to make up my mind. And everything came crashing down.

'Because you deserve more!', Leo says in defeat, fingers brushing into his hair. 'Do you know how much of a loser I am? You deserve a hunk-a-ilicous person, are you really going to settle for a noodle?!', Leo says, gesturing to his lean figure. As sarcastic as his response seemed, he meant every word of what he said. That's just how Leo is.

'Leo, that's exactly how I've been feeling this whole time.' I pull Leo into a hug.

Leo is no different than I've been my whole life. He's just as insecure and broken as I am, as I've always been. All my life, I'd seen him as a completely different person. We have different hobbies, we have different personalities. But we're still similar in ways that make us, well, us. It's just that our sanctuary needed to break to have it's walls built back stronger. I feel at home again.

'You're more of a sausage though. Alri-ALRIGHT lemme clear up, you're MY sausage okay? The best one in fact, I will use you in all my dishes.', Leo says as I pull out of his embrace and find a stone on the road to attack the disrespectful brat. Leo runs away and makes his way behind the usual Banyan tree at the edge of the park. 'That's literally the worst nickname ever!', I yell as I chase him.

'Mine own dearest sausage I begeth thee to reconsid'r!'

'TRY ME BITCH.'

'Hey, hey wait.', Leo holds down my hands and blocks my attack, and I'm left with no weapon except for the daggers in my eyes I choose to use against him. 'So, what are we now?', he asks.

'We're still Leo and Luna, dumb head.', I say after giving it a thought. Leo opens his mouth to refute, but soon decides against it. I assume he's content with the answer. We were friends, nothing could ever break that. Would we ever be something more? Who knows, maybe we would in the future when we love ourselves a little more, when we're comfortable with who we are, rather than who we're with.

Until then, we are Leo and Luna.

///////------

My eyes flutter open. I am leaning on the trunk of the Banyan tree next to Leo. I find myself in sleepy laughter as I look at his head lodged in between the roots of the tree. And suddenly, I see light in the distance. I immediately wake up from my position near the tree and walk to the edge of its canopy, heart beating in my stomach and look at the sky outside. The dark navy night melts into a light lilac, small streaks of tangerine bordering the the horizon. The birds are beginning to chirp in the trees, though the street lights are still on.

The time loop has stopped.

Meanwhile, Leo had stirred awake. He runs with his eyebrows up in surprise and squeezes the life out of me before his eyes turned dark in fear.

'WE HAVE SCHOOL.', he exclaims. I ignore him, and choose to stare into the sky. I look at the twilight hour. The sun and the moon were side by side, in harmony, like Leo told me. Tears escape my eyes in a sense of accomplishment. I could rest now. I give myself a small hug, and tell myself I'd worked hard. ('LUNA DO YOU REMEMBER THE HAMMURABI CODE.' 'That is not important right now!') The sun rises up, and salvages the few moments he has with the moon. I turn my head to the side and see that the moon looks serene, her light glow slowly fading as she decides to rest too.

But above all, I see that the moon is no longer lonely.

a/n: ahhhh yes if you’ve made it this far, i truly truly appreciate you for reading this, it means a lot to me. the past few days have been a little weird for me, and it took more than just motivation for me to get through writing this. again, thank you to all my beta readers, i really treasure all of you! i’d really love to get an ask about the short story, so if you enjoyed, make sure to send me one! i hope everyone’s staying safe! stay tuned with us because we have another surprise coming soon!

alatcg taglist: @blue-hairbrush, @kaavijournals, @artbyeloquent, @47crayons, @writing-is-a-martial-art

general writing taglist: @shinesundark, @the-writing-avocado, @raenawrites

@original-writing

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rpbetter · 3 years ago

Note

You make some really good posts!! Can I ask something about DNIs? I know it's not directly RP-related, but I have trouble as an RPer with how many DNIs, with urls, there are now. I try not to interact with muns who have them, I block them, because it feels manipulative? But I'm also tempted to block people who follow those muns, because they probably think their DNIs are okay to have, so they're still "bad", just not as bad? Do you think that's overkill, am I shooting myself in the foot?

Oh, thank you! I'm very happy you've enjoyed them!

And, of course, ask anything at all!

I think, ultimately, the answer to whether that's overkill is entirely dependent on what your experience is and if you're happy with it. I don't think it is overkill at all, but if you feel like it is costing you too many mutuals, it might be overkill for you.

I'm a pretty insular RPer, I like a handful of close writing partners that I write a lot of threads with, so, having something like, under ten writing partners is great for me while it's miserable for other muns. I can go wild on blocking and not have it negatively impact my enjoyment, but I know that's not the case for everyone!

And I do, actually, I do go pretty wild with the blocking when it comes to things like DNIs. If it comes off as policing to me, not just something like a difference of opinion or a strong opinion on something, I'm going to block. Otherwise, it's just recognizing that this isn't a mun I'm going to work out with, but no hard feelings. With policing though...I don't want that anywhere near me or my mutuals, so, it's going to be a block.

Because they do tend to be in these odd, like, nested situations lol I totally will spend the effort if their DNI is bad enough to look at the muns they interact with and make sure I don't have future contact with them either. The RPC is such a big place, making it easier to forget URLs than to remember them, but it's also a place where we establish circles of contact, making it easier to run into the same group repeatedly. I feel like it's better for my peace of mind to be a little more certain than not at all that this isn't going to happen as easily.

If that DNI etc. has been so awful, I definitely don't require their mutuals professing the same beliefs as loudly as they are. If you interact with someone, maybe you don't know their pet fish's name or the obscure lore in a headcanon they posted five years ago or the rule they updated without telling anyone, but you do know what is on their pinned post or blog description or rules. At some point, we all visit each other's blogs in dash-view if nothing else when we're getting replies or checking for memes they might have posted, going through their tags, whatever. I do not believe that you're mutuals who reblog from each other often, reply frequently to each other, ship each other's muses and so forth, and all this time, you've somehow failed to notice your bestie mun is telling proshippers to die in their DNI lmao

No, you've seen it. And I find it extremely hard to believe, too, that it's never come up in conversation OOC either.

So, this hypothetical mutual is so oblivious to others, completely agrees with the other one's views while not feeling confident enough to share them publicly, or is scared enough of the other one that they won't disagree...and no matter which/which combination that might be, they're not a mutual I want.

Especially when it comes to a DNI with someone's URL in it. Hard pass on anyone who is okay with that!

If I visited a writing partner's blog, let's say this person is also my closest friend, I value them and the threads I have with them so much, and I saw that in their DNI they had dropped someone's URL? We would have to talk. I'd have to bring it up because it's the right thing to do (and would also be highly out of character for any of my friends, thus very concerning). There would have to be a question posed about what happened here, why did you feel like this was a good choice, and do you think it's increasing or lessening the problem to have that there?

Honestly, sometimes people do get so upset about something that has happened that their worst impulses are let loose freely. When you ask someone you have an established relationship with about that, unless you're being really hateful about it right off, it can help them settle down, take a step back, and see that this is maybe not the right action to take. To me, silence says you're okay with it.

When muns started putting more elaborate DNI's in, that alone rubbed me the wrong way because I genuinely do not think that the majority of that information is at all necessary. It's something I can see and fully understand minors doing, not because they're terrible or anything but because the impulses and rationale are just different. You're very much geared to be as loud as possible about things that are important to you, making them a part of you in a huge way, as a teenager. Shit just is unreasonably intense! But as an adult, I expect that behavior to be different. You don't actually need to say on your RP blog's DNI that "transphobes WILL be blocked!!!"

Well, yes, I should hope so lol we're a community filled with muns who are trans, I'd certainly hope you were not cool with that kind of thing. It's one of those assumptive states, it goes without saying because, in a group of legitimate adults, it literally doesn't have to be said that a trans mun in a group of trans muns in a RPC filled with trans muns would be intolerant of transphobic assholes.

And, no one likes a damn transphobe, it's not like this stunning, fresh information, here. Not making such a statement does not, in fact, act as a welcome.

Saying that, and I do not mean literally just that, it's just an example of the type of things found in a common DNI, is a little immature for me. Some of those things are, in addition to being purely self-validating: playing into the fear created by policing, virtue signaling, policing, or baiting. And all of them are pointless. Telling someone who would already be bigoted toward you and others to not interact if they somehow miraculously ID as whatever label that takes for them to not interact with your posts is waving a metaphoric red flag in front of a bull. Kind of like tagging a post as either "antis don't interact" or "proshippers don't interact." Actual quickest and most assured way to get that interaction!

I totally understand the age thing, it's self-protecting. Most people do respect it, but when they don't, you've clearly stated that this is not for whatever age group. Things pertaining to your writing and/or muse I also understand and think are great for a quick glance before someone even gets to the rules. Having in a DNI something like "muns who are easily triggered by gore" when you write a horror muse, for instance. You're advising them that this isn't a great idea for them, and it shouldn't be expected that you change your muse and topics because they decided to follow anyway.

But it became excessive very quickly, and there is the expectation that blogs have a DNI. The further expectation is that there be a specific list of things found in that DNI, if yours does not include it, you obviously don't have a problem with those things. I really cannot be okay with that, you know?

However, when it wasn't being used as a callout or a way to police, that was something that could just be ignored. Once URLs of other RPers started to appear, it was a whole other problem.

It used to be the pervading rule of the RPC that it is not alright to force other muns to chose between you and another mun that you had an issue with, but now we have DNIs with other muns' URLs in them. Now, it's the opposite take - if you have an issue with a URL being dropped in a DNI, or if you continue to interact with the mun, you're likely to get a callout or be on the receiving end of other bullying.

So, I very much think the self-insulating thing to do is to avoid those mutuals as well as the RPer with the URL-laden DNI. They could just block you, but is someone who was so juvenile as to put another mun's URL in their damn DNI going to be mature enough to do that? Will their friends once they complain about you? For me, it's too high of a risk of being around muns I wish would take a very long break from RP and only come back once they've grown up some.

I would never advise anyone to do something that is erring on the side of getting them into harassment water unnecessarily (as in, not something that pertains to digging in your heels and writing what you want or not tolerating bullying where you see it happening), and I feel like not doing what you are is that. However, I also am a firm believer in agency, even to make mistakes.

So, if you genuinely feel like blocking mutuals of someone with a URL-dropped/callout/other highly offensive and bullying thing in their DNI is costing you so many chances to RP that you're no longer enjoying yourself here? You might want to consider adjusting how widely you are blocking.

If that's the case, try going for mutuals who are what I call Casual Mutuals and leaving them open. Those are mutuals that the mun doesn't write with often or at all, they're technically mutuals because they both follow each other, but that's it. There might be some liking of posts or even comments or non-committal, OOC style memes sent in by Casual Mutuals, but that interaction is sparse and, yep, casual. These mutuals might legitimately be unaware of the mun's hateful, bullying bullshit in the DNI, or they are actually afraid to unfollow/block them at this point, so their option feels like staying around as quietly as possible.

With that last deal...you could even be doing someone a favor, Anon. When I've encountered that situation before, it's come about because the other person's Casual Mutual is painfully anxious, shy, and a previous victim of bullying. They feel isolated, they don't have many or any writing partners, and they really, truly, are terrified to distance themselves in a way that might be noticed. It's a type of toxic interaction that rarely gets mentioned in PSAs, presumably because it is so low on the actual interaction scale.

Giving them someone else in their corner, especially if that other mun is more open about their intolerant stance on bullying, can go a long way toward giving someone else confidence. I've had other people's Casual Mutuals become my Casual Mutuals and wouldn't you know it? After a while, they get braver. They see my friends and mutuals doing our thing without any of the bullying going on, they see us supporting anti-policing and not tolerating bullying, and they get brave enough to unfollow the hateful mun. It feels nice to even inadvertently help someone, and over the years, some of those Casual Mutuals have become great writing partners, too. People I would have missed if I had made the choice to block them by the association of a hateful mun they were trapped in the orbit of.

Just try to exercise caution! You seem like a reasonable person who doesn't mind truly thinking on things or doing the work required to be cautious. Assume the close mutuals are a problem, too, and block away. Build a wall with some razor wire on it with those blocks! Don't assume the low-interaction, very casual mutuals are, though. Check out their blogs for signs of agreement with Hateful Mun, and if they don't have any, give them a shot as far as just leaving them unblocked goes.

I also have to say, here at the end, that it's extremely nice to see that people out there are doing this. Honestly would have thought I'd be the last person to encourage a ton of blocking, but that's the environment of the RPC now, and it's really the only way we can deal with this issue. You can't reason with these people, you can't stop them, you can only stay away from them for your own good and send a message that this isn't benefiting them. Not everyone agrees with them, they're not going to keep having people left open for their attacks or their RP entertainment. And if enough people are just walling them off, that is a message they'll have to receive because RP runs on interaction with others.

They might think they want every "nasty ass" xyz Problematic RPer to block them, not interact, or vanish from their view of the RPC, but I don't think they realize what that really looks like. What it looks like is a huge percentage of the RPC missing, including people they didn't realize were "problematic." We tend to be quieter, wanting to stay in our own lanes and actually enjoy the hobby and each other. That's why they have to resort to shit like making everyone pre-guilty, or setting up traps to catch people out on being "gross."

So, I genuinely do not think they're prepared for the rude awakening of silence that would happen if we all actually vanished, but I am dying to see it lol and do sometimes have to wonder if the complaints about the RPC being dead/dying/empty, not in a fandom but overall, are coming from the purity police some of the time. It's quite active over on the Leave Folks Alone Over Fiction side of life :D

#answered #anonymous #policing #dni lists #blocking #rp advice #rp problems

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terrascookiejar-archive · 5 years ago

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Terra has a Chat with a REAL Moderator this Time

In lieu of my original post that gained a lot of traction, and me talking about being “contacted” by someone claiming to be a mod.

An ACTUAL mod from the Official Cookie Run discord managed to contact me and set the record straight on a few things, as well as discuss a few things regarding what happened. So it seems that this whole situation has indeed caught the attention of the mods of the Cookie Run Official Discord, and even MicMac himself. So what’s been done?

I do wanna talk about it in greater detail, so I’m gonna put everything in a cut, starting now. If you want the TL;DR version, skip to the second picture of Chestnut with Walnut at the end.

First things First, the person who I talked on the moderation team was someone by the name of Zayder, who contacted me on anon with their details. Using some help from friends We were able to background check and confirm, yes this person is actually legit. So I was reassured I wasn’t walking into some kind of trap.

(The photo given to me to prove authenticity by a friend. I blurred out their Discord number myself just for the courtesy of privacy)

What’s Being Done to Protect Artists on the Discord, Moving Forward?

I think this is the big question on everyone’s mind since I made my original post and all eyes are on the moderators and MicMac to make the change.

There seems to be a genuine admittance to the fact that the previous way fanart was moderated was ineffective and caused issues such as the theft and reposting to happen.

So they’ve gone ahead and added stricter measures to prevent this from happening again. Including preventing new members from posting until they get the “Cookie” role, a cooldown on the channel to allow for easier moderation and viewing of said artwork, and heavier infractions laid down for art theft.

I mentioned that the cooldown also allows for time for people to appreciate genuine artwork posted. So considering the magnitude of its members I’d say that’s a great first step in moving forward towards protecting community fanartists. I got confirmation from members in my own discord that the cooldown IS indeed already enacted and even increased from 10 to 30 minutes, so I have reassurance that what’s being told to me is true.

They DO have a report system on their bot, but it seems most people prefer just messaging mods so that system in itself is rather flawed, but only so much you can do there.

(^ This one’s my own artwork, btw!! ^) Zayder also asked me for my own feedback on what could be done to help protect artists, since I am an artist myself. It seems most of the moderation team are not artists and this probably lent itself to making moderation there so weak.

In summary my main suggestions that were noticed were being mindful of traced art, and a dedicated section or post explaining art theft and how it harms artists and the importance of crediting artists. As not everyone understands how it hurts us, some people genuinely are uninformed. Which Zayder stated he would forward to Mic Mac. (Not sure how I feel about my own suggestions going directly to MicMac himself, but you know!!)

Fawn’s Situation happened so Long Ago that most of it is Lost (or worst case scenario, was deleted by a member of the moderation team)

While the general consensus now is indeed “Yes, Fawn created Nutmeg Cookie,” there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of evidence towards who the perpetrator was (We had their username, hazbinalastor666, but not their ID and they’ve since changed it to cover their tracks) and the moderators involved with Fawn’s “Ban” to be found on the Official Cookie Run Discord. At least not anymore.

Zayder has confirmed that Fawn “left” the server in December of 2019, which lines up with Fawn’s own statements on the situation. However Zayder stated that whoever kicked her didn’t actually put her on the banlist. So either they kicked her manually, or they used the bot and then used it to erase all evidence of it and pretend nothing happened (which he certainly HOPES is not the case, and I do as well). It did not help that Trial Mods were not a thing yet by this time (They were not introduced until February of 2020), according to what Zayder told me. So things on that Discord were essentially pretty gun-ho. It’s not as simple as looking up a term and going to “Oldest” to track down stuff from the time. Plus a good chunk of it seemed to have happened through DMs so... Good Luck getting that evidence.

Zayder informed me that Fawn is welcome to come back at any time. Though speaking with her she’s chosen not to, and considering her situation I don’t think anyone can blame her. I would like to believe that the version of the Discord that Fawn had to go through is not the same as the one we have now but something like isn’t essentially going to wash away what happened.

As for evidence that Fawn created Nutmeg first? Yes I do have it. The original incident, hazbinalastor666 claimed that they created Nutmeg in November of 2019, However there’s evidence in our own discord showing Fawn creating Nutmeg as early as September of 2019.

As well as the day Fawn came forward on our discord about the situation after keeping quiet out of fear of backlash, ignited by seeing the thief get a commission of Nutmeg. However, I don’t plan to post that publicly unless I have Fawn’s okay.

Yes. The First “Mod” That tried to Contact Me was Pretty Undeniably Someone Posing as a Mod From the Official Discord

“I'm also really curious on what you found false on what the "moderator" said to you. Nobody on the mod team ever told us they were gonna contact you, so I wouldnt know who that is.”

So that was my first sign that clearly the original person who contacted me at least wasn’t doing so without the consensus of the other mods, and neither did they consult the mods afterwards... So very, very likely they were a fake from the start. Some of the things that were off that I told to Zayder, and that we found through conversation were as follows:

The first person contacted me on a throwaway and refused to disclose who they were. Zayder gave me the ID of his personal discord and we could verify who they were easily.

The first person blew off my own suggestions for helping improve the fanart channels with statements like “We’re already cracking down on it.” Zayder asked me for my own suggestions as an artist without even being asked.

The first person kept trying to get me to get Fawn to use a VPN in order to get back into the Official Cookie Run Discord. Despite being told repeatedly that’s not how a VPN works. That’s just fucking weird.

The first person couldn’t track anything down regarding Fawn’s situation years ago, Zayder was at least able to actually pinpoint the date in which Fawn was kicked, and rather quickly too I might add.

Zayder had pretty proficient knowledge on the bot the Discord uses for moderation and how it works. Which he explained to me a few times. The first person said to me at one point, and I quote, “For all I know the bot gives messages when infractions are laid.”

So seeing how talking with a real Moderator like Zayder was, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that someone was trying to dupe me here for some reason. Was it revenge? Did they want some sort of blackmail? Did they want me to proverbially “back off?” And if they ARE a mod why wouldn’t they give the info and such that I gave them to the other mods? Who knows.

TL;DR:

Long Story short, it does appear as if the Moderation Team and Mic Mac have heard the artists of the fandom and are going to be working hard to lay down stricture rules regarding posting and doing their best to make sure credit goes where credit is due.

Fawn’s incident happened so long ago there’s not much evidence to be found on the Official discord, but we DO have proof that Nutmeg Cookie belongs to UpsetFawn!

The First Person who claimed to be a Mod was a fake and talking with Zayder proved it.

Overall, my talk with Zayder was very pleasant and enlightening and I believe Zayder would say about the same! I never meant to cause such an uproar, but I’d like to think things will change for the better now that we’ve all spoken up on behalf of our fellow artist.

What we need to do now is watch how the Cookie Run Official Discord moves forward and if they’ll stick to their word towards protecting fandom content creators from theft and uncredited reposts. Though after my talk I’m certainly optimistic they will.

Always have your back for your fellow fandom artist, TerraTerraCotta

#Mun Updates #Mun Posts #Cookie Run #Cookie Run Official Discord #Cookie Run Ovenbreak #PSA #Signal Boost #Be sure to pass this along!!

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twisted-lies · 4 years ago

Note

hey, i’m the anon that sent in that ask thanks for answering! i removed some stuff in the end but i hope this works. i’d like a DR (1 2 3 V3) kin match up (please and thank you!).

im an open book! i often over share (which i might do in this ;^^) to people i newly meet. whenever i do this it ends up an embarrassing moment i can’t get out of my head, which causes me to overthink a lot. i actually have a fear of embarrassment, which has prevented me from living (the most extreme thing being i stopped going to school for a year). because of the year break, and some people seeing me as too eager to talk to them i don’t talk with anyone irl. online is where i meet and know the most people, i try to join servers to talk about common interests but most the time i get too embarrassed to speak and just end up watching others talk. in a private group chat or dms, i’m a lot more talkative and people see me as funny. i’ve been called an airhead, which id say is kind of accurate. i tend to over react a lot as well, and i get scared very easily. i also consider myself fairly loyal, i can easily tell if i like someone and ultimately will dedicate all my time and energy to them if they allow me to. in the past, no one in my family took me seriously. i was the second youngest, and most of them coddled me. of course when my younger sister came along most of the attention went to her, but because were close in age it kind of stopped suddenly. i wasn’t really taught about necessities like i should’ve been, and i had to learn a lot of things on my own. as a result im very clumsy at things like cooking or doing my own hair, but i also am constantly learning. self care means a lot to me, and i’m very understanding of people’s boundaries. i get easily attached to people, even falling in love easily. i find myself being kind of cruel to people i think pity me, it makes me intensely uncomfortable and reminds me of moments i would rather forget. for interests, i like anything interesting! (i wasn’t sure how to word this, but i hope you get the idea) I enjoy video games (no specific genre), taking care of animals, and i also enjoy shopping, especially for home decor. i get easily sucked up into apps like youtube and tik tok, with my attention span being all over the place. i also really enjoy anything with drama, which is more of a guilty pleasure of mine. arguments on shows are just very entertaining to me, with some of my favorite shows being the challenge or big brother. i also have a soft spot for romance or mystery anime. i could talk about those topics for a long time, because i find them to have many different aspects to them. many things in my life tend to clash, the best example being that it’s natural for me to be talkative and energetic, i have a fear of embarrassing myself which refrains me from being either of those things. i try to put my self first, but i always have the need to help people. for example, a neighborhood dog has gone missing so i’ve been looking for it. it didn’t affect my daily schedule much as i’m mostly outside anyways. i like the drama in shows, but i don’t like the people who cause drama for nothing. i live pretty relaxed, so none of those really bother me. i don’t really have a sleep schedule, i sleep when i want to and it usually works out. it’s easy to persuade me, as i’m pretty gullible, but if you lie to me about something it makes it kind of hard for me to trust you again. my grades are horrible, but i really don’t care enough and i might not pass. despite getting attached to people easily, i tend to be kind of picky with who i hang around. while i can’t help if i like someone, if i don’t like someone i can be kind of vocal about it. in the past i’ve had a persecution complex, i consider myself over it now but i’m not entirely sure. i get random bursts of interests in different kinds of stuff, but when they’re random like that they hardly stick. i enjoy wearing over sized clothes, mainly because it’s comfortable. i love animal themed products, it could be anything i just find it cute!

I kin assign you with...

Ibuki Mioda

Firstly I thought of Ibuki Mioda, Ibuki is pretty talkative and tends to sometimes not have a filter to what she says and could easily talk too much to the point of saying something embarrassing and definitely could be seen as eager to talk. She's definitely onenof the funny ones in the group and lightens the mood pretty easily when she needs too. She could also be seen as airheaded and gets distracted pretty eaisly. She also can tend to over react or get startled pretty easily seen from certain scenes throught the game. Ibuki is probably one of the more loyal ones you'll meet. She'll take all of her time and energy and put it into one or multiple people she likes or really cares about. She doesn't have a very good attention span and can easily get distracted. She seemed to have a liking for video games in the anime when Chiaki and all of them played together. Ibuki also seems like the person to spend a lot of time decorating to make sure it suits her well. She could also easily be interested in drama due to her quirky type of attitude and input her thoughts here and there out of impulse. Ibuki would probably try to take care of herseld but when she sees someone who needs help she quickly springs into action and could easily forget about her own needs momentarily. I'd say Ibuki could probably have random bursts of interests and try to learn a few thing from her classmates though can quickly loose interest.

Tenko Chabashira

Secondly I thought of Tenko Chabashira, Tenko can be pretty talkative when it comes to the females in her class and could even often over share on accident. Though she knows when to stop when she's accidentally messed up though sometimes she won't and will carry on. Tenko can definitely tend to easily over react and be kinda protective towards people. Like when the male students of her class try to interact with the female ones she gets overly protective and over reacts about it and often tends to call them out and call them "degenerate". Which could link into you being a little more agressive or cruel when people come to pity you and as for Tenko it's likely it could be out of embarrassment or bad memories. And she's definitely vocal if she doesn't like you very well. I'd say Tenko is definitely picky with who she's friends with and when she finds someone she adores she'll try and put all her time and energy into that person if they'll allow her, though she may go over board sometimes. Tenko can fall in love pretty easily depending on her outlook on you like she did with Himiko, she probably did feel some kind of romantic attraction to her if not a really deep platonic one even if Himiko didn't exactly feel the same at the time. She definitely tries to be helpful if she can and though it may be one sided based on gender she's still pretty helpful to them and would leap into action when she needs too. She'd most likely be the first one to stand up for something as well. Tenko may be one for drama too, though not if it's unnecessary ones which could easily aggravate her. She probably also loves to watch romance related things especially if its wlw. Tenko is definitely loyal to ones she holds close to her heart and would do just about anything for them to keep them happy and on their feet. Tenko would probably be outside a lot like you are and likes to be pretty active thanks to her ultimate.

Gundham Takana

Lastly I thought of Gundham Tanaka, Gundham can be pretty talkative when she chooses to be or if it's the right person like when he started to grow closer to Sonia. When he did he pretty much invested all of his time into her and probably let her hold and pet his little hamsters! And of course made sure she was doing alright. Gundham loves animals of course, just like you do. He can be pretty judgemental of who he spends his time with and doesn't like people to pity him and doesn't take it awfully well and could be little more cruel or aggressive towards that person. He probably doesn't like to be seen as weak either. Gundham probably likes to listen to and or watch drama related things! Though he may not participate in it or put his input in he's definitely a listener and keeps up with it. He also probably isn't a fan of unnecessary drama though. He may also have a tiiiny soft spot for romance related things. Probably animal related if I'm being honest here. He probably doesn't take embarrassment awfully well and tried to cover it up with his more bold attitude. He definitely cares about others feelings and would like to help if he could especially if it involves a missing animal even if he may not show he does care. He probably doesn't have a consistent sleep schedule and whenever he does fall asleep it just ends out working for him.

I hope you're satisfied with your results! This was definitely enough for me so it was no problem!

#♤Mod Kokichi♤#♤Request Complete♤#Kin Matchup #Ibuki Mioda #Ibuki #Tenko Chabashira #Tenko #Gundham Tanaka #Gundham #Danganronpa #Danganronpa Goodbye Despair #Danganronpa Killing Harmony #Dr2 #Drv3

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blackfemmecharacterdependency · 4 years ago

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2. The Stars Are Only the Beginning

Everything was beautiful! She saw things that she hadn’t seen before, things that she believed to be long gone, like fruit trees and people with pets. On the bus ride to the Academy, she counted 57 people with pets! They had little animals in their bag, or bigger ones, on a leash. The air smelled cleaner and there were fountains lining the school grounds. She was reminded of an old book where a boy goes to magic school for the first time. This. Was. Like. Magic.

The world that Nana had known wasn’t dead. She was just not able to be a part of it anymore… And now, Shani would be! She would be able to live out her Nana’s dreams. That’s what she thought. The childlike wonder burning bright inside of her for the first time in real life.

One of the first things that happened upon leaving the bus was decontamination. The students went into a chamber that served as a huge shower, placing their bags on a conveyor belt to be scanned, searched, and disinfected. After the showers, they were given uniforms to put on and handed the rest of their uniforms. They were taken to treatment, where they were tested for diseases, lice, etc.

“You’ll have to get rid of your hair,” the lady told Shani.

“Oh no! Do I have lice?” She panicked. She had heard about lice before, but never had it, as far as she knew.

“It’s too much,” the woman said.

“I can handle it,” Shani promised her. She had never cut her hair before, ever. The woman informed her that she had to get on that right away because photos for IDs were next and her hair was against protocol. Shani tried to recall being informed of what protocol for hair was. She didn’t remember seeing that in any manual, but she had not yet accessed the Student Handbook, as it was an online handbook, and she wasn’t inside of the school yet to have access to online resources. She looked around. Other kids had either straight hair or tamed their curls into flat styles that only betrayed their texture in certain areas and with certain eyes.

She watched a boy with pretty well done locs cry silently as his head was shaven. There was no way! Most of Nanefua’s stories happened during the lengthy process of maintaining Shani’s hair, to the point where Shani tended to style her hair as she read a book, reminiscing of that feeling.

For the moment, she got her bags back and rushed as quickly as she could to put her hair into two french braids. It was puffy at the edges, but the lady shrugged her shoulders and simply reminded her that if she looked like she wasn’t at her best, they would respect her less every time they looked at her files. Panicked she looked at the clippers, considering it - though years later she would never admit so. One of the other girls tapped her on the shoulder and handed her something. Shani read the container: edge control. The girl mouthed to her, with only a muffled sound coming out of her lips, “This will help in a pinch, but you really should get someone to put it into a protective style for the semester.”

Shani spent the next few minutes smoothing her edges and touching them up with the toothbrush she packed for her hair, then gave it back to the girl, signing “Thank you,” to her.

The girl seemed surprised, but signed back “You’re welcome.”

They parted ways as Shani headed for the ID section. Her photo was taken and uploaded. Her stats were programmed into a brass plated electronic cuff, which was then placed around her arm and secured. She looked down at it and several lights were flickering, a few whirring sounds were made and finally it tightened around her arm and announced, “System activated.”

The woman explained to her the meanings of the lights and sounds, “Whenever everything is paid up, all of the lights are gold. Whenever you need to pay, the segment that needs payment will light up green until it's paid. If you get behind a payment, it will light up red, and your academic experience may be interrupted.” She wore a stern face as she said, “And failure to pay, even upon removal from the program could result in sentencing.” The woman’s smile returned and she tacked on, “Between you and me, sometimes, you can pay through extra credit work and extracurricular interests that lead to revenue.” She winked. Shani nodded. “Perfect attendance also helps, and is one of the biggest determining factors in being in the Gold League.”

“What’s the Gold League?” Shani asked, already determined that whatever it was, she was going to do it. But, the woman had other students to prep and she was sure that it was in the Handbook.

Meanwhile, the deaf girl wasn’t getting an arm cuff. Instead she held her wrist forward and they scanned a chip inside of her forearm. “Welcome back, Miss Charming. How was your trip?” The person asked, but Miss Charming wasn't looking at her and didn’t immediately answer. However, a holographic interpreter appeared from her bracelet and signed the words.

“Wonderful, thank you,” the girl finally answered.

Shani noticed, only then, that though the girl had on the same royal blue color as the rest of the students, she wasn’t wearing one of the uniforms that they had been given. As they headed for orientation, Shani wondered where she got her outfit and if it was within regulations for the uniforms. It was a blazer and a pleated skirt, with a necktie and a red ribbon on her left lapel. On the right were a slew of pins, and ribbons, and she wore a gold badge on her coat.

She awkwardly smiled and signed to Shani, “I’m in the elite program.”

“I didn’t know that they let people into the elite program with…” Shani froze, unsure of what the correct word to use here was and feared she had already said too much to backtrack.

The girl looked upset, but she managed a smile as she passionately let her know, “I can do anything that I set my mind to do! Nice to meet you.” She hurried off to two other girls who were in a similar attire as hers - the royal blue of the Academy, but not the exact uniform that Shani and the others had on. She announced, in that muffled tone, “I am approaching!” And one of the girls (a brunette with short hair) gasped and turned to hug her. The other (a blond with long hair in a braid like Rapunzel) was smiling. She had already noticed her come up. They were signing and the one that Shani had spoken to, the Black one… She couldn’t tell if all three were deaf or not, was talking for both her and the other girl. Shani watched them longer than she intended - until they were out of sight, then she realized that she had to rush to orientation!

Shani watched as the board addressed the students. Well, the board was seated on a panel and a spokeswoman addressed the students. She noticed one of the board members in particular, who was as dark skinned as she was, with hair as coiled, though her hair was tied up in an intricate style, much like Nana might have done, and adorned with gold embellishments.

The board was dressed in two golds. Genuine, authentic gold that Shani had only ever heard of in books, and then the gold that she knew of, but hadn’t really seen much of, now that she thought about it. But, there, she saw full outfits of it. A bright tone in super expensive seeming professional wear, accented by jewelry. The school board was the most regal thing she had ever seen in real life. She read that it was “the luxurious Spanish yellow hue (that the Academy bought rights to) which could only be purchased through the Academy, and only worn by members of the board and members of the Gold League.

“I have to get into that.” She read the requirements. All A’s. Perfect attendance. Good citizenship, as determined by the board. Superior presentation, as determined by the board… She… did not know how to make notes on her new device… yet. So, she broke open her paper notebook, and scribbled in red: Goals 1. Gold League. 2. Find paper version of handbook. 3. Research the history of this Spanish yellow hue. 4. Find out that deaf girl’s name and where she gets edge control…

After orientation, a member of faculty dismissed the kids to find their dormitories and let them know the bell schedule for the following day. “Is there a map?” Shani asked a boy seated next to her. He turned up his nose and kept going. She sighed and found staff. “Hi. Is there a map?”

“There’s GPS in your device,” she said, smiling and went on with her business, not hearing Shani say that she didn’t know how to use or find the GPS in her device.

Her chest felt… pained? Excited? Scared? Restricted. Her chest felt tight. Her breathing was difficult. She wanted to scream and insist that someone help her find the dorms. She wanted to. But, you can’t do things like that in real life. She tried not to cry, though she was very frustrated, and she reminded herself that you need to have a plan and a path before moving forward. She moved against the wall of the auditorium and sat on the floor. She scribbled: How to Use My Device at the top of the page and doodled a happy ladybug on a flower. She studied the device for hours before someone came up to her, after everything was cleared out and nobody else was supposed to be in here.

“Girl?” They said and used a scan gun to pull up the info from her arm cuff, “What are you doing?”

She looked up and realized that he was talking to her. He had on a gray uniform, so she knew that he wasn’t faculty. They wore a Midnight Blue attire. This was a gray uniform like people she knew from home. He probably lived in the Outskirts and worked in the city. She hoped that her being here wouldn’t get him into any trouble! Mama told her that Outskirters could get into trouble on a job for just about anything. “I’m sorry! I hope I don’t get you into trouble. I didn’t know how to find my dorms and there was nobody to help me, so I was just here, teaching myself how to help me…”

She looked embarrassed as she put the device away into her issued backpack. “I was taking notes of the instructions of how to use my device, and drawing a map on paper, in case I couldn’t get the device to work, even with my notes…”

The man was sympathetic. “Listen, Miss Moore…”

“That’s not my last name!” She panicked, “They must have put the wrong information into the system for me!!”

“No. They just… rebranded you. There’s… Nobody of stature with your last name, as it appears on your birth records, so they granted you a more acceptable name, for room to grow.”

“They… Took my last name away?”

“It’s in the school system. It just won’t appear on any of your achievements.”

“But…”

“As I was saying, we need to get you to your dorms! It’s your first day and we don’t want you to get in trouble for wandering the halls unauthorized. Pop out that map and lets see if it gets you where you need to go, Miss Moore.”

“I don’t like that name. Can you just call me by my first name?” She asked, looking at the map, “Or did they change that too?”

“Is it Shani?”

“That’s my middle name.”

“The middle name is listed as your first name, now.” She felt that tightness in her chest again. “Listen. When I was your age, I couldn’t DREAM of getting into school. You made it here and with hard work, you’ll probably make it to a seat at the table. When you get there, you can be whoever you say you are.”

“I am who I say I am, right now!”

“As long as you know it, nobody can take that away. Even if they’re calling you something else.”

Shani laughed to herself… That’s not REALLY how the conversation went. That’s how it would have went if she had been the adult. What really happened was he was very short with her.

“Look. Your name is Shani Moore and you need to get to the dorm, so hurry up, before both of us lose this!” She shuffled, trying to keep up with his long strides and consult her map and see through tears burning in her eyes and the smears they made on her recently drawn map. When she got to the dorms, it was spacious, but seemed cramped, because all of the space was being used. There were rows of loft beds with work spaces beneath them, and a wardrobe beneath the stairs. All of the other girls were comfortably in their issued pajamas and staring at her in disbelief.

“You missed showers,” one girl said and everybody started laughing. Why? That shit wasn’t even funny, even by her 10 year old standards. She sat at the desk and unloaded her device. She would learn this stupid thing if it took her the rest of the night! And since there was no physical book about it, it nearly did. That was her first day of school.

But, that wasn’t the version that she gave to incoming kids. She gave the story that felt good. She gave the story that inspired hope.

Luna Charming passed by her, SO PRETTY in her royal blue pantsuit with a half pony and a red bow. She signed to her friend, “Working for free AGAIN?”

Shani shrugged her shoulders and signed back, “SOMEBODY’S got to help these kids!”

Shani usually went to the auditorium for orientation, seeing if she saw lost looking kids to assist and guide to where they needed to go. Most of them, she never saw again, but she felt better than she did that first day and she hoped that they entered their academic careers feeling better than SHE had. She fell in step with Luna and the two signed to each other as they walked, then parted ways whenever they got to Shani’s dormitory. Luna’s quarters were in the “alter ability” wing.

Luna, being deaf, although she was in the elite program, did not share chambers with other students in the program. She shared chambers with other students who lived with various conditions, but were smart enough or rich enough to gain their way into this school. Luna was both.

She had been purchased as a dependent when she was a toddler through an agency that paid poor parents for their children and sold them to rich people. It wasn’t considered an adoption, because the process was far less formal and not at all scrutinizing. But, Luna had been purchased by a wealthy couple that was into adoption for their charity phase, but didn’t feel like the hassle of the process. She was 2. She ONLY knew the Charmings as her parents and wouldn’t have never known about the way she came to be theirs if mean rich people didn’t have kids her age. She found out when she was 5. In their guilt over her upset, the Charmings spoiled Luna, a little more than their other children (who they collected in the same manner). They were also “into” disability awareness those years. They bought Luna and two of her sisters, one who didn’t talk (Taraleigh) and the other blind (Lorilei), and to this very day, there is a baby photo of the three of them, from a set in which they were See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil…

The older Luna got, the more she hated that thing. It was massive, and hanging in the parlor of her parents’ mansion. Yet, despite being less than civil people in certain aspects of humanity, they were decent parents.

Of course, Luna knew that she thought this perhaps because she was the favorite of the three. They were only at the academy because she was, and they weren’t in the elite program, so even though Luna was, she bunked with them, instead. A waste. That was what Luna had told Shani the headmaster said of her intelligence whenever she thought that she wasn’t paying attention enough to read his lips. “A waste of intelligence when she’s like this.”

“I have other attributes,” Luna had said, surprising him. He even had her tested again to see if she could hear and was for whatever reason lying. When he was satisfied that her records were in order, he told her that her parents had given her leeway to put herself on record with a first name of her choice. (They had the money for it, you see, and the successful last name to boot.) “Luna,” the 6 year old said, “I’m going to be an astronaut.” She knew that face. You poor child. He must have been thinking. She ignored it and pressed forward, officially in the Academy records as Luna Charming.

“Of course you are!” He cheered. Even not being able to hear his patronizing, she knew it was there. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she could tell something was off. It was probably his insincere smile, or the thing that she had seen him mumble before. “All of the payments for your entry into the elite program on an astronaut’s trajectory is in the system and your personal interpreter will be arriving with all of your special needs materials.” She nodded. She didn’t necessarily need an interpreter, but she knew that the state of the art materials she would bring along would be very useful. Years later, Luna was above and beyond her… well… it would be ridiculous to call them peers.

Nobody was in her league. She had worked with the intent to be the first 14 year old deaf astronaut. She had gotten the credits to receive credentials. On. Record. She met her goal. But, she was informed that she would definitely have to finish several other certifications, and was recommended another trajectory… to TEACH others. A teacher? Sure… privatized schooling was lucrative and her field of study would be booming… but that wasn’t what she wanted and she felt that if she was only a little closer to their normal, they wouldn’t have even suggested it.

Both of her sisters were back in a special needs school by the time she was 14. They not only didn’t cut it at the Academy, but even being rich kids, they always felt like everyone was trying to make it harder on them there. Sure they were. Luna had peeped that by the time she was 8. Their parents were willing to pay whatever it took to make sure that their children were the best. Teachers could say that Lorilei needed a new device that was patent pending to access computer systems in a way that blind children never have before! And the Charmings were going to pay for it. They had paid for numerous surgeries to help Taraleigh to be able to speak, even experimental transplants, until the moment where she forgoed the desire and settled uponed a first edition customized speech box that allegedly would give her the voice she would have had, had she had one.

“You’re different, Beth. You’re gonna reach those stars” the voice had said to her when she hugged her sisters goodbye.

“The stars are only the beginning,” she told them. That became her mantra.

Now, she was opening her video mail to see Shani excited to finally get her Gold League badge. Luna sent her a congratulatory gift basket with some of her needs in it - edge control, plantation credits, and a few Spanish yellow accessories to start off the freshman year.

With her sisters gone, Luna didn’t even leave the old quarters. She didn’t feel like having to get used to new neighbors and stuff and at least she had some memories here. But, she had ALWAYS had sisters, and now she was on her own in a wholly different way than whenever she had to go to class. They weren’t there when she got back.

She looked at a notification blinking on her screen. A message from Mom. “Annabeth, are you going to need us to pay for the elite quarters? We have to know by the end of the day.”

“No Mommy,” she said and the message was sent. At least she still had Shani.

A/N: I kinda hate how I jumped around in this one and might wind up tweaking it later on. It didn’t seem to transition seamlessly for me. Anyways, as much as i have ideas, I’ll go ahead and put them out there. Thanks for reading!

#Story Concept 01: No Saviors in the Wild #No Saviors Story #BFCD Story Concepts by Nesha #stories #original content #Nesha Writes

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astrochiron · 5 years ago

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the signs :: my dear melancholy, // the weeknd

Aries & Libra- Hurt You

“And now I know relationships [are my] my enemy, so stay away from me; i’m warning you”

The opening lines of the song sets us up with Abel claiming that he’s over relationships; they hate him, he hates them, and he’s warning this girl of such before everyone gets hurt. His antagonization of the relationship and his aggressive tone exudes Arian energy. It also speaks from a place of independence and rejection of the “other”.

“When you're with him, you close your eyes and think of me

Just call me up again

I'll make you weak”

Abel goes on to talk about how the two of them share a special connection and even if she’s with someone else, he’ll always be on her mind. I’ve personally heard a Libra or two express this sentiment to someone. Libras are often amazing partners and great, attentive lovers, so his claim isn’t likely unfounded.

Overall

“Hurt You” takes on the perspective of both the woman (probably Bella Hadid) and Abel (The Weeknd), allowing for equal representation that expresses Libran fairness. He’s looking at how he doesn’t want to get involved with her again because he knows that he’ll just hurt her again. Plus, its focus on the relationship itself associates with Libra’s position as the sign of romantic connections. I think Arians are very honest with themselves and, at the end of the day, would rather do bad on their own then bring another in on their problems. This also pushes people away, leaving Aries to fix everything on their own. Plus he brags on his sex fame a bit, which is common from both of these signs.

Taurus & Scorpio- Privilege

“And I don't wanna hear that you are suffering

You are suffering no more

'Cause I held you down when you were suffering”

This line is super Taurean to me. Taurus is the sign of stability, support and comfort and Abel was saying he was all three for this person at one point. If anyone cares, this is specifically talking about how Selena Gomez was physically suffering and how he was a support system for her, even allegedly offering to donate a kidney for her when her own failed. This also connects with a Taurean’s tendency to take a lot of shit until they reach their breaking point, from which there is no return.

“And I'ma fuck the pain away, and I know I'll be okay […]

But I'ma drink the pain away, I'll be back to my old ways”

I’m not one to reduce Scorpio solely to sex but it is a large part of both it and Taurus’s main tropes. Scorpio seeks a deep connection and Taurus is centered around sensual pleasure. Abel seems to be using sex and alcohol as more of an escape, leading toward more Scorpio-like (and even Piscean) tendencies. It’s doubtful that these sensual pleasures and attempts at intimate connection will actually help, but he’s down to try.

Overall

“Privilege” is basically about facing the reality and aftermath of a break up. Scorpio is associated with death, including the death of a relationship and the aftermath afterward. Taurus focuses on living in reality with its Earth association. It’s all about the here and now, being stable and physically present which is shown with the physical ways Abel tries to patch himself up after his heartbreak. Scorpio, not he other hand, focuses on evolution and growth especially after a major upset like a break up.

Gemini & Sagittarius- Try Me

“Once you put your pride aside

You can notify me (-fy me), -fy me (-fy me)”

This reminds me of Gemini. They’re not too prideful when it comes to things they want. Gemini is often compared to school-aged ids and that’s very true when it comes to their motivations; no pretense or deep thought when its something they simply want. I can totally see them persuading a partner to be less pretentious; “C’mon, don’t over think this one. When you stop being so honorable, let me know.”

“Havin' thoughts you never had, yeah”

This line reminded me of Sagittarius’s ability to make things more logical or philosophical, seemingly the opposite of Gemini’s simplcity. They’re good at pushing their ideas for their own benefit, making the woman have thoughts she never had in the first place.. “I mean it’s not really cheating if you and I don’t kiss; no emotions involved. Besides, you’re not married so you’re technically single,” or “I mean what’s the actual definition of cheating?”

Overall

So “Try Me” is basically Abel telling this girl to leave the guy she’s with now and try him out again. I’m so sorry if this offends y’all (I’m not sorry, really), but it instantly reminded me of both Sag and Gemini. I’m a Sag moon and I know how… calculated we can be with these matters. Gemini represents all things familiar and things you’re pretty well-versed in due to repetition and what screams that more than having sex with an old fling?

Cancer & Capricorn- Wasted Times

“And what they got that I ain’t got? Cause I got a lot”

This is a line that someone who likes to provide for others would say. Both signs are concerned with protection and providing, Cancer wanted to nurture and provide emotionally while Capricorn shields and provides physically. It screams, “I took care of you and I gave you all i had; what can he give you?”. This also speaks to the Capricornian tendency to compare status.

“I ain’t got no business catching feelings”

Cancers are super stubborn when it comes to trusting and letting others in, especially romantically. It’s all to do with that crab shell that protects them from harm. They have no time to catch feelings cause when they do, it’s insanely deep. This is the same for Capricorn, really, as they (GASP) change their future plans for those they love and hate fucking with their vision for those who aren’t serious.

Overall

“Wasted Times” is about Abel being a highly publicized relationship with Selena Gomez, the operative Capricornian word being “publicized”. Abel hates to think he publicly linked his name with someone that he considers as wasted time. Both Cancer and Capricorn is all about time too; Cancer will lament on time wasted, saddened by past mistakes and Capricorn won’t even let you waste their time, focusing on the future.

Leo & Aquarius- Call Out My Name

“You’re on top, I put you on top I claimed you so proud and openly, babe”

Aquarians are almost as secretive as Scorpios especially when it comes to associating themselves with people. Aquarius re-prioritized and even claimed her publicly, both being a big deal. Putting the one you love on top is also such a Leo trope, too; love before all, even self.

“Why can’t you wait ’til I fall out of love?”

This line is pretty self centered which tend to associate with (all fixed signs but especially) Leo and no, that’s not always a bad thing. Leos and Aquarians both don’t like when people don’t react the way they planned or in the way that’s most beneficial toward them. He simply wanted her to wait to move on until he was ready to move on himself, now is that too much to ask? To a normal person, hell yes.

Overall

“Call Out My Name” starts the album expressing how Abel is putting way more into the relationship than the other party. Every single person with heavy Leo placements that I’ve known have hearts bigger than Volkswagen Beetles, so they tend to give their relationship 250% even if the other person is only capable of 19%. This also gives a brief look into the often irrational and deep feelings that Aquarians claim they don’t have.

Virgo & Pisces- I Was Never There

“Now I know what love is and I know it ain’t you for sure

You’d rather [have] something toxic, so I poison myself again, again”

This is the line that secured this song as Virgo for me. Abel aways equates women or the pursuit of them to drugs and the fact that he knows how unhealthy the relationship is shows a Virgoan awareness as well a Piscean tendency to ignore such awareness. He’s resorting back to what he knows, the tried true method of coping, so he can feel better.

“I'm on the edge of something breaking

I feel my mind is slowly fadin'

If I keep going, I won’t make it”

These lines at the end of the song, again, point toward the Virgo-Pisces axis. Virgos are hardworking to a fault. They, like Abel, do what they can until they’re completely spent. Pisces will put forward energy they don’t even have to help boost those around them. Both of these methods are unhealthy and ultimately self-destructive. If he keeps putting all his energy into this thing and she keeps sucking it up without reciprocity, he simply won’t make it, or at least they won’t.

Overall

Well I immediately pegged “I Was Never There” as Pisces and since there were only six songs, Pisces’ sister had to come along too. It does fit though! Virgo and Pisces both are mutable signs and this song is specifically discussing the end of a relationship. Mutable signs bring on the ends of their respective seasons are associated with destruction, critique and moving on. He turns to drugs and other unhealthy escapist shit to get over the relationship which, stereotypically enough, is associated with Pisces.

check your moon sign (for the song that makes you comfortable and puts you in your emotions), sun sign (the song that makes you happy and the one you ride around to) and venus sign (the one that speaks to your inner artist). the whole album is a no-skip™ for me. treat yo self.

#no-skips #music #astrology #my dear melancholy #the weeknd #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #mine

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starkerforlife6969 · 5 years ago

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Pre-Starker. Peter is Nat’s little Brother

It’s nice, Tony thinks, all of them living in the tower together.

It curls warmly in his heart, the sight of Bucky glaring at the coffee maker, or Steve watching some documentary. He likes seeing Wanda and Vision baking cookies, or Clint out on the balcony shooting tracking arrows at pigeons for one of Bruce’s migration studies.

It feels a lot like…(family).

Not that’d he’d ever say it aloud.

He feels like he knows everyone better now. Thor’s not there all the time, but he drops down for a few weeks every couple of months, with some new drinking game and stories about huge battles he won that Tony knows he must exaggerate.

In fact, he thinks he knows everyone pretty well- everyone except-

Natasha.

Which is ironic, considering he’s known her the longest.

But she’s a mysterious person, that’s her shtick. He’s prodded and poked at the facade, but like him, she’s very tightly wound, and every inch she seems to give, is actually a metre she’s taken to ensure she’s still guarded. Still protected.

Even after combing unashamedly through SHIELD’s files, Tony’s still not sure about her past. A lot of spy work, but no family on record, no real name on record. Sure, Russian ancestry she says, and he’s certain he’s heard her speaking it on the phone from time to time, but he’s not really sure.

He doesn’t mind too much, because he’s the same. No matter how much he loves Bruce, Tony will never let slip the nights he’d go out to that road and sit there and think of his mom. No matter how much he loves Steve, he won’t ever say that sometimes the resentment he felt as a kid over his dad’s obsession eats him up inside. He won’t tell Vision that losing JARVIS was one of the hardest things he ever had go through, or tell Thor that every time he leaves it aches deep.

He won’t divulge his need to succeed, to prove himself, to anyone. Not even himself.

So, he understands Natasha. He thinks that because they’re so similar- she probably understands him too.

“Easy there, cowboy,” Tony chuckles, knocking Bucky out of the way to sort the coffee machine out for him as the early morning sun shines into the penthouse kitchen.

Bucky grumbles but moves easily. There’s a bowl of cornflakes in a bowl, half eaten, and Tony feels warm again at the domestic ease of it all. “Coffee’s supposed to be easy,” Bucky mutters, not for the first time, still bleary eyed, but he mutters a thanks when Tony hands him a fresh brew, and hunches over his bowl as he makes his way to the couch.

Tony rolls his eyes, and pours himself a cup. “Where’s Nat?” He asks, because she’s the one who normally makes Bucky his coffee. She wakes up first, always, then Bucky, then Tony, and then the rest whenever they feel like it.

“Someone buzzed for her at reception, I think,” Bucky says around a yawn, losing himself to the Saturday morning cartoons.

But Tony freezes. Someone called for Nat at reception? On a Saturday morning before 8am?

He’s grinning and heading for the elevator before it’s too late.

“Nat with anyone down at reception, Friday?” He asks eagerly, as the elevator takes him down.

“Yes.” Friday says mysteriously, and nothing more.

Tony laughs in surprise, gesturing expectantly. “Well…gonna ID them for me? Anything other than that?”

There’s silence for a moment, before Friday replies: “They don’t match anyone on my database, Sir. I’m running an extended scan but I’m unable to find a match.”

Of course. The plot thickens. Off-the-grid friends? Ex-spies? A Nick Fury who’s found a way to hide his face from diagnostics? Tony’s keen to find out.

When he gets to the ground floor, there are only a few people around. His receptionist, a few cleaners, a few scientists and interns dotted around here and there enjoying a coffee for an early start, or stumbling home after an all nighter, and there, sure enough, the shock of red hair gets his attention.

Natasha’s standing near the revolving doors, talking to a-

Tony frowns.

It’s a boy.

A young boy, a college student if his attire’s anything to go by- he’s got a backpack on, and tight jeans with oversized pink flannel. He’s bathed in the white light of morning, and he’s beautiful. Loose curls, hickory highlights and eyes of honey.

Tony can’t quite piece it all together. Does Natasha have a young lover?

He saunters over; straining his ears.

He hears Natasha say: “I know you do, solnyshko, but Mr Stark is really busy.”

Which is weird because Nat’s never called him Mr anything. Moron? Sure. Pain in her ass? Most definitely. Tony Stank on one awful occasion, but never Mr Stark.

So, he smiles, straightens his shirt, and clears his throat.

She whirls around so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t get a knife to the throat, but when she sees him- there’s something naked on her face. Something he’s never seen before- something she doesn’t quite school fast enough. The bare emotion of fear. It’s so painfully human that he suddenly regrets coming downstairs- regrets intruding on whatever this is-

“Oh my god! Oh my god! You’re Tony Stark!” Comes the ecstatic voice of the college student, and Tony doesn’t have time to say sorry, because the boy is stepping forward and gushing about how much he admires Tony, which is, you know, pretty great. The boy’s so pretty, with sharp cheekbones and long lashes-

“The very same,” Tony grins, holding out a hand. “And who might you be?”

Natasha cuts in smoothly, face back to fairly impassive. “Mr Stark, this is Peter, he’s a big fan of all your work- both scientific and Ironman-relevant.”

Peter and nothing more. How do they know each other? And she’s still calling him Mister Stark. Peter nods so forcefully it ruffles all the curls on his head. “I’ve ready everything you’ve written, Mr Stark! And Ironman- I have like- all the posters!”

Tony resists the urge to pull Peter closer where their hands are joined. He knows exactly what he’d do if he’d found this boy at a club, tug him closer and use that hero-worship to have quite the night but-

Natasha’s shifting. Almost imperceptibly. She’s uncomfortable. Her eyes are subtly raking over the lobby as if waiting for someone else to walk in-

Tony helps her out. “Well, Peter, any friend of Ms. Romanov’s is a friend of mine. Apply for an internship at SI and I’d be happy to look over your CV myself, I’m sure we have a position here for you in some department.”

He does mean to help, but the look he gets from Nat feels like he should be murdered on the spot for his generous offer. Well damn, he tried. He called her Ms Romanov.

“An internship?” Peter whispers, eyes-wide and jaw slack. “I will, Mr Stark! Thank you-“

“He’s very busy, Peter,” Nat reminds, voice gentle, and Peter nods, cut short from going onto another long ramble over how much he respects Tony. “You should go,” she urges softly, and Peter nods- but not before he tiptoes and throws his arms around her for a hug.

If Tony were drinking coffee, he’d spit it out.

Natasha ignores him, and wraps her arms around the boy, one hand cradling the back of his head, fingers buried in the curls, and Tony might be seeing things, but he’s sure she kisses his forehead and murmurs something like: “Be safe. I’ll call you later.”

“Love you too,” Peter beams, not at all covert, so whatever it is she’s hiding, Peter doesn’t know it’s a secret, that much is clear. Or he’s just very bad at keeping secrets which seems…unlikely for someone who apparently loves Natasha. And, if the soft voice and worried eyes are anything to go by, is loved in return. “It was an honour meeting you, Mr Stark Sir!” And then he’s out of the revolving doors and into the city’s bustling morning.

Neither of them speak for a moment, they just breathe: waiting.

Tony breaks the silence. “A friend of yours?” He asks breezily, and Natasha squares her shoulders and turns to look him right in the face.

She feels taller than him. She must be wearing heels. Or Tony’s thoroughly intimidated. “Tony,” she mutters, shaking her head, “we have an understanding, you and I, right? That sometimes you leave well enough alone. That you trust me when I tell you- you don’t need to know anymore.”

He nods slowly, wondering if he’s being manipulated. It’s hard to tell with Nat. It’s one of the reasons he likes her so much. She’s as good as deferring as he is. Good at distracting people with irrelevant things to squirrel away the crux of the matter. As it is, he’s content to let it lie. “Fine by me. Does anyone else know anything?”

He’ll be a little jealous if they do. She shakes her head, eyes hard. “It’ll stay that way.”

He crosses his heart, and thinks no more of it.

* Oh sure fine, he scans everywhere for a Peter at any of the nearby college’s but there are thousands and Friday can’t seem to match anyone to the boy in reception from earlier. It’s like his face is scrambled and Tony’s sure Natasha’s protecting him.

For what? The boy had seemed harmless enough. Unless he’s some sort of ex-Hydra mind controlled operative, which seems unlikely, there must be another reason.

Family, is Tony’s first thought. You do for family.

But he’s not sure Romanov is her real name and Peter Romanov or even Pietro brings nothing up. Blank. Suspiciously blank.

Tony sighs, and decides to actually let it lie.

But then it happens again, another accident.

His muscles ache and it’s nearly three am when he leaves the lab. Sleep has finally demanded his attention, and he’s headed to his bedroom when he feels a cool breeze ruffle the sweaty strands of hair pressed against his neck.

He frowns and heads to the balcony, but all the doors are sealed.

The wind blows again, so he follows it up the stairs towards the roof and sure enough, lit by the light of New York, is Peter.

He’s sitting on the ledge, a bowl of cereal in his palm, spoon in his other hand, gesturing wildly about something or other, so milk sloshes dangerously around each side.

Natasha comes into view too, she’s in her pyjamas unlike Peter who’s wrapped up warm in a coat, and she’s carrying a box of Lucky Charms. She laughs; face unguarded, relaxed in a way Tony’s never seen. He watches, hidden by the shadows, as she pours more cereal into Peter’s bowl until it’s teeming with sugary tokens.

Peter laughs, gesturing her away. “I’m not that hungry!”

“You’re too thin is what you are,” she teases lightly, sitting right beside him.

Tony sees it then, in that moment. The sharp cut of their jawlines, the delicate slender slope of their noses- siblings.

Natasha has a little brother. He feels winded.

“And you’re sure Mr Stark won’t mind us being up here?”

She rolls her eyes. “No one ever comes up here. Besides, it’s one of the perks in being his personal assistant.”

Peter shakes his head in awe. “That is so cool. You have the coolest job ever.”

It’s like a heavy punch to the gut. His personal assistant? Natasha has never been that- not even when she technically was, she wasn’t really. Not for years. She’s lying to her brother.

Tony can understand why, of course. To keep him safe. It also has the double benefit of making sure that even if Peter were captured, he wouldn’t be able to say anything.

Tony thinks it’s probably more so for the former reason.

He heads back down, shaking his head and trying to picture it. Natasha with a little brother. As a protective older sister. Making sure he does his homework, inside jokes, beating up bullies, making sure he eats, texting him. All normal things. He struggles to piece it into one person.

* Over scrambled eggs on brown toast, Tony brings it up.

“What’s your brother’s major?” He asks innocently.

Natasha takes a mean bite out of the corner of her toast, as if she wishes the bread were Tony’s jugular. She chews deliberately slowly, and then swallows. “Tony.” She says warningly, and he shrugs, lifting up his hands in innocence.

But he’s never known when to quit. “Science? Engineering? Give me a hint.” The kid had gushed over everything Tony had written, he must know at least a little bit of science. Plus, Nat’s always been scarily rational. “Math?”

She sets down her breakfast, and folds her hands under her chin. She doesn’t speak. She just stares.

He refuses to sweat under her glower. “You know you can trust me, right?” He says, more softly.

Her face softens at that, and she returns to her breakfast, looking at is as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. “I know that, Tony. But this isn’t about me. It’s about Peter.”

“He thinks you’re my personal assistant.”

She doesn’t ask how he knows. Just takes it in stride, like she does with most things. “Yes.”

“You’re protecting him?”

Her eyes gleam. “Always.” She says fiercely, and Tony’s struck by the strength of it. He’s never had any siblings, any close friends like that. Someone to look out for him, always, something in his blood. He has Rhodey, but Rhodey’s never needed protecting. It’s different. He’s never known his whole life with someone loving him as ferociously as Natasha loves Peter.

“I could protect him too,” Tony offers, going for off-hand and light-hearted, even as her eyes, razor-sharp, dart to his face. He busies himself by sprinkling black pepper over his eggs. “You’ve done a pretty good job hiding him from the database, but I could add a whole other level of protection. Keep him off everything for good. No one could ever get their hands on him.”

She’s silent for a while. Pondering it. She’s not stupid enough to reject it outright through sheer stubbornness. “You would do that?” She asks tentatively, and Tony scoffs.

“Of course, I would. I’d do anything for you.”

The look she gives him makes him feel warm. Like maybe he’s her older brother.

“He would probably die for the chance to meet you,” she muses, before smiling in that way that says she’s given in. “If I introduced you, you could never tell anyone, Tony, I mean it. Not if we fight, not if you’re trying to get to me, I would destroy you.”

He thrums with excitement, even as his brain says: maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

* For obvious reasons, Nat doesn’t want to bring Peter to the penthouse.

Instead, she and Tony find themselves on the jet to MIT.

“MIT, really?” He scoffs at her, “my terf! And you didn’t even tell me!”

“Don’t pout.” She hums, looking out of the window. “He’s very smart. Smarter than you, for sure.”

Tony blinks affrontedly. Before he shrugs her off.“You would say that. You’re biased.”

“He’s majoring in Aeronautics and Mathematics, and he’s averaging an A in Jefferson’s class.”

“Bullshit,” Tony gapes, “no one gets an A in Jefferson’s class.” He knows the old bullfrog wouldn’t give a student an A if his life depended on it. It was something of a legend back in Tony’s day to try. He’s not surprised the man’s still there. Like a statue, probably embedded into the building’s heart.

She smiles smugly. “Peter does.”

“Peter does,” he mimics in a high-pitched voice. They enjoy silence for a moment, before he clears his throat to ruin it: “Your brother, he’s…eighteen?”

She arches an eyebrow. “Yes.”

“Right, right,” he nods, phew. “He’s very…pretty.”

“Tony.”

“Of course, I wasn’t gonna try anything-“

“Jesus,” she rolls her eyes, but her tone is firm. “Do you have to try and get in the pants of everything that moves?”

“Not everything. Just very pretty things. And I never said I was going to try, I was just making an observation. Anyone could see it. You’ve got some great family genes.”

“I didn’t think I’d need to say it, Tony, but touch my brother, and I will kill you.”

He slouches in his seat and sighs. Beautiful and smart and completely off limits. He’s sure he’ll have no problem adhering to that rule.

#starker #nat and tony friendship #peter is natasha's younger brother #protective natasha #peter x tony #preslash #flirting #hero worship #really prestarker #precious peter parker #playboy tony #pining tony #oblivious peter #natasha #tony #peter

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n-komas · 4 years ago

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(1/3?)Hi! Idk if you're still doing match ups but I was wondering if i could get a haikyu match up pls! If not, please feel free to ignore my ask, I completely understand and hope you're resting 💕 if soooo-I’m a straight cis Hispanic female that’s 5ft tall, I have wide hips, big butt/thighs, my top half ain’t special tho and I have black hair/bangs and dark brown eyes+glasses! I’m a cancer with an ISFP personality, I’m shy and closed off at first but as I get used to you I open up.

Dear User, Thank you so much for waiting! We have found your perfect match! You’ve been paired with...

Tooru Oikwa!

firstly, cancer twins!

the way your birthdays are only a day apart mwah

he liked that you’re sort of hard to break open at first

likes to think of it as a challenge

so that’s how you became friends for sure

he just wormed his way into your everyday life whether you liked it or not

anyways now you guys are the bestest buds <33

you guys have tease fights all the time

basically roast battles tbh

but then you probably tease him about how your butt is bigger than his

and it shuts him up entirely

mans wont admit it but he wishes he had an ass so bad </3

he just thinks they’re nice

plus he has this really weird desire to just know how to twerk and throw it back

he’d probably never do it in public

but when he’s bored and alone in his room, he just gets in front of the mirror and tries

since you have a motherly sense to you, you’d have to take care of him much more than you should need to

not just because that tooru has childish aspects to his personality

which you do need to put up with 24/7

but he has a habit of overworking himself far past his limits

and as his best friend, you’d have to drag his ass home and out of the gym

he is seriously the most stubborn piece of shit you have ever met

will spit back insults and harsh words to get you to leave him alone so he could practice more

he just wants to perfect himself

so you have to be there to physically take the balls out of his hands and put the net away while he cools down so you can take him home

as a cancer, you understand how hard emotions can hit

oikawa only really goes to you for emotional help

and he’s a pretty emotional guy

he still has iwaizumi, but he knows he can be 100% unfiltered with you

you’ve seen him at his ugliest, with his rawest emotions

you dont even need to give him advice tbh

he just needs to vent out his feelings a lot

ANYWAYS enough of sadkawa

sometimes he goes over to your house just to nap on your couch

like,, your parent(s) let him in, even if you’re not home

he says that they’re better than the ones at his place bc he flattened them out from sleeping on them too much

but he doesnt really get much time to nap tbh so when he does go over to sleep, you dont rly disturb him bc you know he needs it

sleeping on the other couch/chair in the room so when he wakes up he’s just really confused for a second

he annoys you like a normal older brother would

even if you were older than him, he’d still treat you younger just so he could piss you off

he’ll literally sit on you and pull your hair and make fun of you for being a legitimate foot shorter than him

but he’d protect you with his entire being

he tells you whether he approves of your anime boy crushes or not

not something you asked him to do but he does anyways

“larissa, be honest now okay, if i was an anime boy, would you have a crush on Me?”

moving on, he would completely understand thay you need space sometimes

yeah, he’s a clingy guy, but he respects your boundaries and knows when to bother you and when not to

he will be there to listen to you whenever you need though

OKAY BUT HE WILL FORCE YOU TO DO KARAOKE DUETS WITH HIM

he will DRAG you to a karaoke bar w him

fake id if he really needs to

you ARE publically singing a duet with him at least Once

does tiktok trends w you though!

could be a dance

or one of the text pranks

he loves the attention tbh so he’s always more than willing to help or participate

also sends you tiktoks when he’s on his breaks from practice or monitoring games

gives him a little stress reliever

if you call him shittykawa/trashykawa/crappykwa or anything like that

he will also make up some name to call you to tease you back

will occasionally call you things like dumbass or idiot

but not too often bc he still feels bad sometimes <//3

you‘re both smart idiots it’s okay <3 he’s of your kind LOL

ok but he lowkey would love star wars

it reeled him in just bc it’s in space

and you know the dumbass has a weird love for aliens and sci-fi

so the story and the characters would bring out the ultimate dweeb inside him

loves it so much

for one of his birthdays, you decided to buy 2 tickets to disneyland to surprise him

his parents paid for his ticket and half of yours bc they wanted him to he able to experience star wars galaxy’s edge in person & with his best friend

so you SURPRISED him with the tickets and he BAWLED his eyes out

was the best two days of his life

you bought baby yoda plushies & matching mickey mouse ears

overall, oikawa is basically your older brother, but also someone he knows he can lean on in times of need

he treasures you so very very much so, as an oikawa stannie myself, pls be gentle with the sweet boy <//3

Thank you for working with us! We hope you found satisfaction with your newfound bestie~ Honorary applicants we considered for the role were: KOUTAROU BOKUTO & YUU NISHINOYA. Thank you again for your time & we hope you enjoy your future lifelong friendship!~ Thank you for requesting!

#hq #haikyuu #hq matchups #haikyuu matchups #tooru oikawa #oikawa #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #oikawa x reader

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