#black family incorrect quotes

[hxuse-xf-black]

[James Sirius has been kidnapped by Death Eaters] Scorpius: If your brother gets hurt and you don't get his back now, it's gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. Albus: You're right. If James gets killed by Death Eaters, my grandparents' mantel is gonna become like a permanent shrine to him. Scorpius: No, that's not what I meant. Albus: Oh, the thought of it makes me want to puke. Scorpius: You've learned the wrong lesson. Albus: Come on, let's go help the bastard. Scorpius: Don't love how we got here, but we're going where I want.

[liv45no]

Ted: dating a Black is great.

James: so great!

Remus: the best!

Ted: but they tend to be a tad judgmental.

James: almost punitive.

Remus: they are monsters.

Ted: that’s why the three of us formed a secret alliance to help each other cover up our little mistakes :)

[moutainrusing]

Walburga and Orion: You will marry a rich, pureblood girl and live a respectable life in a large, fancy mansion.

Sirius: No, I’m marrying a poor, half-blood boy, and we’re living a scandalous life in our shabby old flat, thank you very much.

Regulus: Stop lying out of your ass to juxtapose everything our parents say!!

Sirius: I’m being serious this time. Did I mention that he’s also a werewolf?

[inkpads]

ok but Klaus and Five are Sirius and Regulus variants

[deathnguts]

Narcissa: We decided that if, Merlin forbid, anything happens to us, we would like regulus to be Draco’s god parent

Regulus: That is great news! Draco! When something horrible happens, you’ll be all mine!

Lucius: It really is an ‘if’ situation-

Regulus, already holding Draco: All mine!

[bibibusinessman]

[not-rab]

Regulus: *coughs blood*

Sirius: Don’t die Regulus

Regulus: Don’t tell me what to do

[guhmshuda]

Walburga: You’re not good enough for my son

Remus: you’re not good enough for your son.

Walburga: …

Remus:

Walburga: …

Remus: I did not stutter.

*meanwhile*

Walburga: you are not good enough for my son.

James: *pulls out his guitar*

James: *breaks into RUDE by MAGIC!*

[moonyswarmsweaters]

James: Quick, Reggie give me your hairdryer

Regulus: My what? what are you talking about?

James: Don’t you carry one in your bag?

Regulus: Who does that!!?

James: Sirius do you carry a hairdryer in your bag?

Sirius: Of course, i am not an animal

[siriuslyinlovewithwolfstar]

sirius: I don’t need therapy. i’m completely fine!

remus: then tell me why you cried for one hour and then proceeded to lay in bed the whole day after listening to family line by conan gray

sirius:

[hxuse-xf-black]

Andy, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Reg.

Sirius Black, probably

[incorrectbatfam]

Black Mask: Any last words?

Jason: I miss Macaulay Culkin.

Dick: Tell Oracle I love her.

Jason: Sure, make me look like an asshole.

[moutainrusing]

Walburga: Sirius, you need to stop liking feminine things.

Orion: Yes, son, you need to like more masculine things.

Sirius: *starts liking men*

Walburga and Orion, voices cracking: tHAT’S nOT wHAT wE mEANT—

[fourthemarauders]

Regulus:"Hey,I lost my brother. Can I make an announcement?"

Employee:"Yeah, sure"

Regulus:*leans into the mic"

Regulus:"Farewell, you cunt"

[yourgalgremlin]

Effie Potter (checking on the kids @ night): …

[headcanonthings]

Bruce: So this is my first son, Dick and then we have my second Jason. Then we have Cass, Tim, and Duke. Then we have my youngest Damian. The Justice League: Bruce: Then we have the Steph and Barbara who aren't my kids but really are. The Justice League: Oh come on! Bruce: Then there's Harley, Jean-Paul, Helena and - The Justice League: OH COME ON !!!