#black family incorrect quotes

[hxuse-xf-black]

[James Sirius has been kidnapped by Death Eaters] Scorpius: If your brother gets hurt and you don't get his back now, it's gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. Albus: You're right. If James gets killed by Death Eaters, my grandparents' mantel is gonna become like a permanent shrine to him. Scorpius: No, that's not what I meant. Albus: Oh, the thought of it makes me want to puke. Scorpius: You've learned the wrong lesson. Albus: Come on, let's go help the bastard. Scorpius: Don't love how we got here, but we're going where I want.

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Roy, let me ask you something. What was the first thing you did after the battle?

Roy: I called Ollie and Dinah to tell them I was okay.

Bruce: And what was the first thing Jason did?

Roy: He ate a banana.

[theendlessnessofbeingme]

Dick giving a pep talk to the family before they do Bruce’s monthly training game

Dick: It’s been a pleasure fighting with you. Some of us won’t make it. But there is a place we will all see each other again. And that place is Denny’s.

Jason: Which Denny’s?

Dick: We’ll figure it out later Jay.

Jason: The one near the tracks I’m banned from there.

Dick: Well then I guess I’ll see you in hell.

[liv45no]

Ted: dating a Black is great.

James: so great!

Remus: the best!

Ted: but they tend to be a tad judgmental.

James: almost punitive.

Remus: they are monsters.

Ted: that’s why the three of us formed a secret alliance to help each other cover up our little mistakes :)

[outromoony]

*In a church*

Sirius: Why are you looking at me like that?

Regulus: I just don't wanna miss it when you burst into flames.

[moutainrusing]

Walburga and Orion: You will marry a rich, pureblood girl and live a respectable life in a large, fancy mansion.

Sirius: No, I’m marrying a poor, half-blood boy, and we’re living a scandalous life in our shabby old flat, thank you very much.

Regulus: Stop lying out of your ass to juxtapose everything our parents say!!

Sirius: I’m being serious this time. Did I mention that he’s also a werewolf?

[inkpads]

ok but Klaus and Five are Sirius and Regulus variants

[deathnguts]

Narcissa: We decided that if, Merlin forbid, anything happens to us, we would like regulus to be Draco’s god parent

Regulus: That is great news! Draco! When something horrible happens, you’ll be all mine!

Lucius: It really is an ‘if’ situation-

Regulus, already holding Draco: All mine!

[bibibusinessman]

[not-rab]

Regulus: *coughs blood*

Sirius: Don’t die Regulus

Regulus: Don’t tell me what to do

[hxuse-xf-black]

Andy, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Reg.

Sirius Black, probably

[incorrectbatfam]

imagine Batman had to take care of the rest of the Justice League members after a magic user turned them into toddlers/ kids

Bruce: *warms Clark's bottle*

Bruce: *sets Diana in a playpen*

Bruce: *burps Hal*

Bruce: *changes Ollie's diaper*

Bruce: *puts Barry on a child leash*

Bruce: *gives Arthur a bath*

Bruce: *puts J'onn in a Martian onesie*

Bruce: *gives Vic a green teddy bear*

Bruce: *sings Dinah a lullaby*

Bruce: *plays peek-a-boo with Zatanna*

Bruce: *holds a baby photoshoot for Carter and Shayera*

Bruce: *downloads Little Einstein for Ray*

Bruce: *puts an iPad in front of Ted*

Bruce: *starts training Billy to be Robin*

[later, back to normal]

Ollie: We're gonna pretend we don't remember all that?

Everyone: Yep.

[guhmshuda]

Walburga: You’re not good enough for my son

Remus: you’re not good enough for your son.

Walburga: …

Remus:

Walburga: …

Remus: I did not stutter.

*meanwhile*

Walburga: you are not good enough for my son.

James: *pulls out his guitar*

James: *breaks into RUDE by MAGIC!*

[that-bitch-kat3]

sirius: so your name is pandora?

pandora: that’s right

sirius: that’s the name of some moon i’m pretty sure.

pandora: one of Jupiter’s moons yeah

sirius: (extremely long sigh) be honest are you related to me or are your parents just really eccentric?

[outromoony]

Sirius: Here you go, a nice hot cup of coffee.

Regulus: It's cold.

Sirius: A nice cup of coffee.

Regulus: It's really bad.

Sirius: A cup of coffee.

Regulus: Is this even coffee?

Sirius: A cup.

[moutainrusing]

Walburga: Sirius, you need to stop liking feminine things.

Orion: Yes, son, you need to like more masculine things.

Sirius: *starts liking men*

Walburga and Orion, voices cracking: tHAT’S nOT wHAT wE mEANT—