bibibusinessman

[bibibusinessman]

Robin!Steph: *swinging her legs as she sits on a desk* Robin!Steph: When the socioeconomic revolution happens and they kill all the billionaires, I'll miss you the most. Batman, not looking up from the computer monitor: I appreciate that.

[bibibusinessman]

reactions to Batman coming up to the Watchtower for a JL meeting without his cowl just wearing a domino mask, in order of hilarity:

oh no he’s hot (Clark)

he’s older than I thought he was (Diana)

he’s younger than I thought he was (Hal)

he has hair??? (Barry)

why do I recognize that scar above his left eyebrow? (both Dinah and Ollie, simultaneously)

good lord how is he so hot (still Clark)

[bibibusinessman]

he's not healthcare batman, he's healthcare red hood o7

[bibibusinessman]

[bibibusinessman]

Vessel fanart 😔🫶 sleep token brainrot is real

[bibibusinessman]

the Justice League's identities all get publically leaked but before the dust has settled someone on twitter is like 'OMG i can't believe you guys are actually buying this obviously fake leak. look at this 'Billy Batson' person's birthday, he would only have been 11 years old when Captain Marvel started operating? how are you people so dumb'

immediately throws the whole thing into doubt. everyone going over the other ID information looking for other potential discrepancies. 'they expect us to believe Superman is some journalist called Clark Kent? they don't even look alike' and 'look at this Hal Jordan guy next to Green Lantern their facial structures aren't the same at all' and 'this Diana Prince woman has NO web presence, I don't think she's a real person'

'Bruce Wayne? c'monn how stupid do these peple think we are' etc etc

someone brings up that Wally West is clearly too young to have been operating as the Flash the entire time but then people from Central City are like no no that one might be legit, it's common knowledge locally that there's been more than one Flash.

this sparks the idea that perhaps the original Captain Marvel died or retired and was replaced with a new guy at some point. another whole group of people now scrutinising images of him trying to identify when the '''''switch'''' happened.

someone doing a deep local newspaper archive sweep turns up a photo of CC Batson accompanying a story abt his archaeology work, everyone agrees that Captain Marvel has his exact face, takes 0.2 seconds to join the dots that he officially died not long before Captain Marvel first appeared and Billy is his son. 2 Captain Marvels theory, previously dismissed as nonsense by most reasonable people, now looking very plausible.

whatever group leaked the identities absolutely steaming bcos their data is good damn it, everything in there is 100% factually correct and no-one is buying it ):<

Justice League and associates (initially sweating) now just pouring fuel on the fire. Oracle has made dozens of sockpuppet accounts to spread chaos and discord. official Flash account insisting that actually everyone is mistaken and he's definitely 100% been one guy this whole time. Lois Lane on twitter like 'do you guys think I wouldn't know if my husband was Superman'.

absolute pandemonium.

[bibibusinessman]

-after Damian turned 16, at the family dinner-

Bruce: so... Damian, do you remember the Oreov girl you met at the gala last week?

Damian: *looks up* yes

Bruce: what do you think of her...?

Dick: *tries not to laugh*

Tim: *fails not to laugh*

Steph: *doesn't even try not to laugh*

Damian: she was... acceptable, if a bit annoying, why do you ask?

Tim: He's trying to set you up!

Batkids -Damian: *laughs*

Damian: *stares blankly*

Bruce: og course, you don't hav-

Damian: father, are you unaware that I'm in a committed relationship?

Duke, Tim and Dick: *choke on their food*

Steph: *choke on her drink*

Cass: *smiles*

Batkids: WHAT?!

Bruce: ... I-....

Jason: *laughs so hard he almost falls from his chair* oh Jesus Christ! The world's best detectives at their finest!

Dick: you knew? And you didn't tell me?!

Jason: where the fuck do you think he went almost every fucking friday?

Bruce: *turns to Damian* I- I though you were having sleepover with Jon

Damian: I was.

Dick: but you just-

Batfam: *stops all their movememnt as they realize*

Jason: *actually falls from his chair laughing*

Buce: JONATHAN SAMUEL KENT!

-over at the Kent farm, also having family dinner-

Jon, who heard Bruce shout his name: I feel like I'm going to get murdered by a bat in my sleep

Clark, who was also listening in: right after you explain why I had to find out you're dating Damian throught their family dinner

Jon: hehe... fuck

[bibibusinessman]

It’s like a full-blown addiction, but instead of drugs or booze, it’s this fictional guy who’s got her wrapped around his finger. She knows it’s fucked up—knows she’s out here daydreaming about someone who’s not even real—but who cares? This guy? He’s everything. He’s charming in the worst ways, flawed in every possible sense, but there’s just something about him that has her hooked. He doesn’t even know she exists, but she’s ready to fight anyone who says a word against him. Seriously, she’ll defend his honor like it’s a fucking life-or-death mission.

He’s a goddamn trainwreck, but he’s her trainwreck. She’ll put up with all his baggage, his emotional scars, his dark sides, because somehow, that brokenness makes him feel more real to her than any real guy could. He’s messed up, but she’ll fix him in her head every single time. Maybe it’s that thrill of knowing he’s dangerous and untouchable that makes him even more irresistible. He might break her heart in a hundred ways, but it’s the kind of heartbreak that makes her feel alive, even if it hurts like hell.

And it’s never gonna happen, right? She knows that. He’s not gonna waltz into her life and sweep her off her feet. But it doesn’t matter. Because she gets to have him on her terms—no messy reality, no awkward first dates, no risking her heart for real. He’s always there when she needs him, in that perfect little bubble of fantasy she’s built for herself. And maybe she’s a little crazy for it, but at least with him, she’s never disappointed. Every time she replays his scenes, reads the fanfics, imagines their future together—it's like a high she can never quite shake. She knows it's all just a mindfuck, but she’s never felt more alive.

[bibibusinessman]

☆ 18+ minors dni ☆

Frat!Jason Todd who was Vice President of Epsilon Theta Alpha. He had joined the frat when he was a freshmen and even though his rough and tough demeanour suggested otherwise, he was probably one of the most rule-abiding of the frat. But just because he was rule abiding didn’t mean he wasn’t an arrogant little shit

Frat!Jason Todd who began dating you literally a month into freshman year. He waved off your concerns that freshman relationships never lasted and promised then and there in the dining hall that he would put a ring on your finger the moment they threw their caps at graduation

Frat!Jason Todd who knew what he wanted and wasn’t going to let something as simple as ‘not knowing you for long’ get in his way

Frat!Jason Todd who brought you around the frat house so much that you became an integral part. Dick Grayson, the President of Epsilon Theta Alpha, even began to think of you as a sister

Frat!Jason Todd who loved how your relationship grew throughout the years. It didn’t matter if it was freshman year or senior year, he stayed by your side religiously and loved you all the same

Frat!Jason Todd who would get grumpy when he couldn’t see you for a while and everyone in the frat noticed it

Frat!Jason Todd who, for example, stayed at university during winter break freshman year and just pouted and whined the entire time. He called you every day, even though, at that point, you two had only been together a month or two

Frat!Jason Todd who was so relieved when you returned to campus and the next year (and every year after) you would take him home to spend the holidays with you and your family to save yourself from the grumpy boyfriend he would become when separated from you

Frat!Jason Todd who was very proud that your family loved him and he always returned back to the frat ladened with leftovers and sweets

Frat!Jason Todd who was also pretty big on working out. You had been hesitant at first, because of the stereotypical gym bros, but you soon came to appreciate his physique

Frat!Jason Todd who cajoled you into laying either on his back or under him whenever he was doing push ups. If he wanted you to lay on top of him, it was always, “but baby, I need a challenge. Push ups just aren’t doing it anymore. And if I have my darling girlfriend laying on me, then I get snuggles and a workout.” Sometimes, you read while feeling his muscles bend and contract underneath you as he worked, but other times you just held on and pressed lazy kisses to his skin. Whenever he wanted you to lay under him, there was never much complaining from you. You happily laid on the floor and gave him a quick kiss every time he descended. “Love you,” you would mutter and he would grin and reply with his own love

Frat!Jason Todd who also loved to play wrestle. Neither of you ever knew how it would start, but you would find yourself giggling and trying to tackle Jason on the floor. Of course, he would likely let you win, but there were always a couple of times when he would just flip you over and let out a pretend roar before smothering you with kisses

Frat!Jason Todd who didn’t mind that the play wrestling usually ended in hickeys and love bites

Frat!Jason Todd who wasn’t as much of a book nerd as other variants. He maybe was an English minor, but not a major. Whether that was just because he felt as if a frat guy shouldn’t be an English major, or he just preferred his major (pre-law), no one really knew. Jason confessed to you one night, late freshman year, that he wanted to go into law to help those who were growing up like he did. He wanted to fight against big corporations that kept kids confined to Crime Alley and he wanted to fight for the mothers and fathers who were getting swindled out of their homes

Frat!Jason Todd who much preferred to stay up in his room with you then go down to the party raging on the first floor of the frat. It had become a routine: lock the door (you two had learned that the hard way after a wayward couple barged in one time looking for a place to bang. Jason had promptly kicked them out with some well placed swearing and slammed the door behind them), fill the popcorn bowl, and settle in with a movie

Frat!Jason Todd who, however, every once in a while, would venture downstairs with you under his arm and indulge in a little partying. He would pour you a tiny amount of alcohol into a cup if you wished, but never drank a drop himself. Even if he was part of a frat, he was still the same Jason with the brutal memories of parents who hit or screamed when inflicted by alcohol. That didn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy a bit of beer or wine in private with you, but he wanted to stay vigilant around others who were drunk

Frat!Jason Todd who’s favourite thing to do at parties was dance. More specifically, watch you dance. He would stay right next to you, holding your hands or your hips as you sang along to the music. His eyes would never leave you, trailing up and down your body along with his hands. Another activity he liked whenever there was a party was to crowd you into a corner, arms braced by your head and just make out. He loved that bit of voyeurism, but would never take it farther than kisses when it came to you. He was incredibly protective and didn’t want to share you with anyone else

Frat!Jason Todd who was a very inconsistent lover. Let’s explain: he clearly loved you a lot and had told you a million times over. He wanted to pleasure you as such, so sometimes he took his sweet time with you that left you very impatient. Other times, however, he saw a guy checking you out and couldn’t help but bruise your hips as his slammed his own into you later that night

Frat!Jason Todd who, nonetheless, expressed his love in any way he could. Unbeknownst to you, he had bought a ring over the summer of sophomore and junior year and kept it locked in the top drawer of his nightstand

Frat!Jason Todd who, true to his promise, instead of throwing his cap at graduation, had found you in the crowd and immediately got down on one knee

Frat!Jason Todd who was crying when you said yes

[bibibusinessman]

Batman & Red Hood

[bibibusinessman]

I got my Amazon music wrapped! These are my top 50 songs

[bibibusinessman]

some red hood shit

[bibibusinessman]

Can't seem to get any work done...

get as a print here ! Or get it as a freebie through this

[support me][carrd, comms, and other such things]

no kids ver

if you can count how many bats show up in this (not including the lil guys, but yes including people), add it to the order notes along with your fav DC character you'll get a special lil freebie /srs

[bibibusinessman]

Tim, on his 13th attempt to sneak out of the mansion to go on patrol with the flu and walking pneumonia: I didn’t “lose” my spleen. To lose something is to imply you don’t know where it is, and I know exactly where my spleen is; it just isn’t in my body-

Alfred, tired™ and armed with a tranquilizer: Even so, Master Drake, I must insist you get back into bed.

[bibibusinessman]

I realized i haven’t checked my tumblr notifications in forever. Thank yall so so so much for 2,363 followers! I literally am in shock. Recently I’ve been more active on my insta which is @batfam_shenanigans

I’ve been struggling a lot lately after my dad’s passing and keeping up with school, sports, and friends. Tumblr has been something that I cherish as my safe space to forget my problems for a while. I love yall so much!

[bibibusinessman]