#bat family

[thatcutenerdygirl]

I... I have no words. I... This is too out of context...

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

So, Batman is a poor choice of protagonist for a "social novel" but many of the characters around him (mostly women) are absolutely geared for socially-conscious themes because of their deeper, more personal connections to social themes and settings. To name a few; Selina Kyle, Helena Bertinelli, Stephanie Brown and Renee Montoya.

Batman's not a great character for exploring more socially-conscious issues at all because he has always lived in an ivory tower and doesn't even breath the same air as his fellow Gothamites. Orphan or not, he's a white, cis guy born into generational wealth who embarks on an individualistic, lofty crusade against "crime" in his city from the seclusion of his manor. More importantly, he's a character that's more concerned with abstract moral questions than the more tangible, systemic social concerns on the ground. Batman's most "social" endeavour is charity, the Wayne Foundation. Frankly, white guilt and philanthropy can't change the world, you need mutual aid and collective action for that. In fact Batman is often depicted as more idea than human; his story has always been more philosophical than social.

And, look, that's ok but writers and fans alike have got to accept this. He's a fictional character who we don't need to moralise as all things good and frankly Batman's ivory tower detachment is part of what makes him interesting and creates conflict between him and characters like Catwoman and Huntress. The Batman and Joker movies (or even Taylor's white guilt Nightwing run) are poor social critiques that don't really say anything about society because they're focused on characters never geared for such a critique. Most importantly, many of his female allies do the social narrative better!! If we want socially-conscious themes explored then we should just look to them!!

To make my point, Helena Bertinelli. As the Huntress, Helena's niche is organised crime. She's personally experienced the violence of it, and now reckons with the tangled web of power structures that uphold it and the avarice for profit that fuels it. This is a character embroiled in the politics of crime in a way Batman simply isn't. Organised crime isn't this abstract evil, it's both a product of and actor within the social world. Her day job is just as important to her; she's a teacher. She has to safeguard and guide kids who live in a world hellbent on derailing their development. So Helena's stories can end up blending the crime genre with the social novel in ways that Batman just CANNOT because she's fundamentally more connected to the social dimensions of Gotham while Batman lives in a cave.

First panel below, the speech bubbles should go to the other character.

DCU Holiday Special (2009)

[zweetpea]

Mrs. "Wayne"

Part 2

Content warning: Swears, Arranged Marriage, murder (Not by Bruce because he doesn't kill), threats

This chapter is a bit shorter than the last but I think this is a sweet ended to this story. (For now... If I think of something to add to it I'll make a proper finale).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You awoke with a bag over your eyes, a rope around your wrists, and a killer headache.

Bruce ripped the bag off your head. “You’re lucky I have a no kill policy. But trust me when I say that if you’re going to wish I did.”

“Scary.” You mocked in a smooth and dull voice. “Does that work on all the drug addicted mental patients in spirit halloween costumes that you beat up?”

He grabbed your chin and pulled you forward a bit. “Don’t play with me, little girl.”

“Don’t call me little girl, old man. What do you want?” You asked boredly. 

He glared at you. “I should be the one asking that.” He spat.

You looked at him anammused and unenthusiastically said, “I’d like to be let out of the chair.” He tips the chair back slightly over the edge of this cliff in the cave. “Okay! Okay! I want the divorce to be quiet! I won’t take a small settlement! In fact I won’t ask for any money or assets! I-! Um… I want a pony? WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY!!” You started to panic. There were a lot of things you could do, but surviving a 10-20 foot drop into a moat, while being tied up was not one of them.

He tips the chair back onto solid ground and grabs both of her shoulders. “You want a pony in exchange for your silence about the bat cave and my family?”

“Oh that’s what this is about?” The fear on your face dissipated. “I don’t really care about this.”

Bruce took a step back in shock. “What?”

“Yeah. This place is honestly amazing and I’m actually very impressed at what you do.” Your voice was genuine as you looked up at him.

He seemed skeptical. “You are?”

You smiled slightly. “Well, yeah! You fight 2 meta-humans, a bunch of psycho clown gymnasts, two guys in super suits, and just a bunch of other freaks every other week! Are you some kind of immortal being or something?” You geeked out a bit.

He looked at you surprised. “You know a lot about me.”

“Well, in retrospect, no offense but it’s kind of sad… and pathetic.” She looked at him sympathetically

He scoffs. “How?”

“You spent 14 years training to avenge your parents murder and you didn’t think to see a therapist?” 

“Point taken.” He started to untie You. “So you promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Yeah. I’m not about to get dragged into this! Regardless of the truth behind our relationship, bad guys are going to come for me if I start blabbing about you guys. Not only that but the cops are going to hall me off to jail too if you get caught for vigilantism.”

“Oh… I didn’t think of that. I’m sorry…” He sits down on the cliffside with his head in his hands. “This whole thing has been a disaster.”

You sat down next to him. “Bruce?” You looked over curiously.

“Yeah?” He muttered.

You hesitated. “Why did you marry me?” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“Kid flash made a joke about my irresponsible love life and I guess I took it to heart.” He confessed somberly.

You patted his shoulder comfortingly. “All teenagers suck. It’s just growing pains.”

“I don’t like being bullied by an 8th grader.” He looked over in what you want to describe as a pout but that can’t be right. This is batman! Batman doesn’t pout! He broods!

“Imagine how Damian is going to be at that age.” You giggled. He growled and looked away. Oh my goodness. Batman was pouting. You burst out in laughter. “You are too special, Bruce.” You gave him a quick side hug and pulled yourself up. “Come on. Let’s go order take out and laugh at how stupid Villains are.”

He smiled at you slightly and pulled himself up as well. “Yeah… They are pretty stupid.”

“I mean it took me two months to find this place when they haven't come close in 2 decades!” She laughed and took his arm in hers. 

“Well Condiment king found this place a decade ago. But no one’s heard from him since so the villains stopped trying.” Bruce smirked.

You looked up at him worriedly. “I thought you didn’t kill.”

“I don’t, but my ex-special forces of a butler does.” He closes up the door to the batcave.

“...oh…”

He kissed your forehead and ushered you out of the library. “Nothing you need to worry about. Now let’s go order some takeout!”

You two ordered some Chinese food and lounged on the couch watching whatever was popular on Wayneflix. Bruce ordered shrimp fried rice and egg rolls while you just got a little of whatever caught your eye.

You pulled a throw blanket over you both and ate straight from the take out containers. It was weird being so close to him.

“I thought you didn’t like me touching you.” He reminded you of what you’d said less than a few hours ago. Seems like he noticed it too.

You shrugged. “I don’t like you feeling me up but I don’t mind cuddling. I suppose I should get used to it considering the fact that you’re probably going to keep me under lock and key for the rest of my life.” You shuffled closer to him.

He was silent for a moment before he spoke in a reassuring tone: “It’s not forever. Just a little while. I need to be sure you don’t plan on running off to the alps of Switzerland or something.”

You rolled your eyes. “No! Don’t be ridiculous! …Still can’t believe that the world hasn’t figured out you’re Batman yet. It’s so obvious in retrospect! Is that just my hindsight bias showing?”

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s the fact that a few tabloids are still floating around the idea that Batman is some kryptonian pet that Superman brought with him that gained a high level of intelligence.” Bruce practically shovelled his portion of food down his throat. 

“Pace yourself!” You scolded him. “And there’s no way anyone actually believes that.”

“Yeah well there’s also no concrete proof that links me to my alter ego.” Bruce pointed out in a playful tone.

“Yeah but… people don’t even float around the idea you're his sugar daddy-” You were interrupted by a certain tween.

“Father! Todd has informed me that he will be over shortly- Are you two cuddling?” Damian sounded repulsed by the idea.

You looked up at him. “Hey terror tot.” You greeted, flatly.

“Damian, I saved half my shrimp fried rice for you.” Bruce offered rather uncharacteristically warmly.

Damian turned away in a pout. “No thank you father. I hope you and your mistress have fun on your date.”

You interjected. “Firstly, super not the mistress. Secondly, it’s not like a date date so you can join us if you want. Thirdly, growing nestlings need to eat to build strength.”

Damian froze as Bruce sighed and rolled his eyes. “What did you just call me?”  Damian's voice was mostly steady but there was undeniably a hint of fear.

“Damian, she knows about the bat cave.” Bruce calmed the boy.

“YOU SHOWED HER THE BAT CAVE!!” Damian screamed in shock and fury.

“Damian, compose yourself!” Bruce stood up. The two stared each other down from opposite sides of the couch.

“So are we abandoning movie night?” Your question went unanswered as Damian started ripping into Bruce about how irresponsible it was for him to show it off to “Impress her” (his words); and how hypocritical he was.

Bruce finally grabbed Damian’s shoulders and got him to quiet down. “She found the batcave.”

“A likely story.” Damian crossed his arms and grimaced at you.

“History of taxes, fifth shelf from the bottom, middle-right to the left of the big bay window in the library, dewey decimal number 336.20.”

“It took you two months to find the bat cave?” Damian raised an eyebrow at you.

You looked back at him. “In all honesty I just wanted to read something you guys hadn’t. Some books might be boring but it’s better to actually read the books to you rather than flaunt them, like some wannabe Jay Gatsby.”

Damian stood there in shock. “You’ve read The Great Gatsby?”

You scoffed. “Everyone had to read The Great Gatsby. I had a terrible teacher that basically told us Daisy was the victim throughout the Novel. Which I would understand if she was drawing that conclusion from synchronizing her with Fitzgerald’s actual wife Zelda but she wasn’t.” You paused the movie for a second. “The Great Gatsby is a weird novel when you actually understand the story of the people behind it. Fitzgerald is Gatsby and Zelda is Daisy. However the entire book portrays their relationship as a fantasy. Gatsby grows to regret it. He lusts for her beauty and wealth while Daisy almost comes off as superficial. The rich stay rich and the poor men who try to make a name for themselves are naive fools. It really paints a bad light on how he viewed his own wife.”

The two men looked at you in utter shock. “What’s hilariously sad is the fact that Fitzgerald based a lot of what he wrote around Zelda’s diary entries. Daisy is horribly depressed in her marriage, and she hates her husband. You’d think that Fitzgerald would realize how much his wife despised him and how unhappy he made her but he seemed oblivious to that fact.” You grabbed the container of shrimp fried rice and handed it to Damian. “So if you’ll excuse us, I'd like to get back to bonding with my husband so we don’t end up like Zelda and her vile husband.” You pulled Bruce back onto the couch and gave him what you had left of your take out.

“You don’t have to-” Bruce tried to protest and give you back your food.

“I assume you’ll be out late. You’ll need energy if you’re going to be staying out till dawn.”

“I just want to take a nap…” He mumbled and held you close like a child holding a plushie.”

You fixed the blanket over you both again and got comfy in his arms. “Get some rest Bruce. You need it.”

[dark-dragon-8]

Former Talon Dick going for a midnight snack and ending up staring into the abyss with them because his instincts have been activated and now he thinks there's an enemy nearby, so now anyone who walks into the kitchen in the middle of the night also sees the glowing golden gaze of a predator, posted on top of the cabinets and staring at them with those big, unblinking, slit golden eyes like he's about to eat them.

Meanwhile, Duke and Jason are now either trying to get him to calm down or have joined him in staring into the darkness in an attempt to see what he's looking for or to get others to leave him alone because he's in hunting mode now and they don't want anyone to accidentally trigger him and escalate the situation even further.

i’m so sorry but i just saw a post about duke’s eyes glowing and now i NEED to see fanart with jason and duke, the Glowing Eyes Bros TM

i’m picturing them on a midnight snack run in the manor kitchen, but just chilling in the dark

Bruce, getting back from a late patrol, wanting a midnight snack, can tell someone’s in the kitchen but it is pitch black : ….

Bruce : Who’s in here?

Jason and Duke :

[astro-light-space]

Do y'all think the Bat kids actually despise Brucie Wayne the billionaire playboy? Just imagine them groaning every time Bruce acts like Brucie during galas- because the tone he uses is so unusual for his normal grumpy voice. So when he speaks in that almost cheerful tone, it just catches all the bat kids so off-guard that they actually start doubting if that just happened or if they've been kidnaped and forced into living in some kind of fake simulation- and the worst part, is that Bruce knows they hate it and still does it sometimes out of nowhere just to mess with them-

*one random morning*

Tim: good morning B

Bruce: *in his B*tchboy Brucie voice* oh good morning sweetheart, I made some tea for you on the counter, don't want you all stressed in the morning *skedaddles walks out of the kitchen*

Dick who just so happened to be eating cereal in the kitchen: *drops his spoon into the bowl in shock*

Tim: *equally as confused* what just happened..? Am I having a stroke..?

*Damian and Tim having a slight argument that can get physical at any point*

Damian: I demand you take that back right this instance.

Tim: try me brat.

Bruce: *in his Brucie voice* now now kids, be nice to each other. We don't want a fight breaking out, now do we?

Damian: Father... what..???

Tim: am I having a stroke again-???

*Batman and Red Hood right after beating up some goons at a warehouse*

Jason: *putting his gun away* never going out with you again, I swear...

Bruce: *full Brucie voice* Come on now Son is this any way to talk with your father?

Jason: ... did you hit your head, old man...?

[todelve-intomy-monthlyfixations]

While Damian might have very questionable morals due to his upbringing in the league, one thing that I believe he is firm about is equality between a man and a woman.

Think about it. His mother, who trained him mercilessly, is also one of the best fighters to exist. People fear talia. Like, actually, fear her. But at the same time, his mother was the only real parental figure he knew for a long time and while her affections may have not always been transparent, they were still there. Hence, he regards his mother very highly. She raised Damian single handedly, and Damian views this as another display of his mother's strength and endurance. Then, there is his sister Cassandra, who continuously leaves him impressed with her skills, though he will never say it out loud. Not to mention Stephanie with her determination and Babs with her intellect. Then there's Raven, Selina, Diana, Kori, etc. Basically, every female that he has ever had an encounter with, is completely badass and amazing — further proving his upbringing of believing men and women are equal.

Damian thinks this is common knowledge with the way that the rest of his family acts as well, because they can often be seen working alongside strong female partners, so he has never had the idea that people may think otherwise. It isn't until Cass and him are facing a D-list villain who makes a petty comment about how women shouldn't be in this field or should just sit still and stay pretty, that Damian realised that some people in this world are really THAT fucking stupid. He doesn't understand how someone could look at his amazing sister (who is clearly kicking that villain's ass), or women in general, and view them less than simply because they are women. It shocks him. When this villian slips out this comment, he's slightly frozen, and all he can do is look over to Cass. Cass, who seems like she is unbothered, but Damian doesn't miss the way her jaw tenses and fists tighten out of anger, ever so slightly, though she tries to remain level-headed (something which, one again, Damian is amazed by). After handing over the villian to custody, he still feels tense and appalled at the nonsense the villain says so he brings it up with Cass and asks her how often she has to deal with ignorant idiots like that and how she handles it because he wouldn't be able to stand it if his skills were constantly questioned. Cass offers him a strained smile and places a hand on his shoulder before saying "more often than you will ever know."

Following this, Cass's words sort of stick with Damian and he begins to just become more attentive — on the field and at school. It is then that he realises how unfair the world is to women. He begins to hear the small, backhanded taunts a few of his classmates make, hears the disgusting things that his sister and teammates have to put up with, and he hates it. But he realises that staying silent is no better than adding to it so he does his best to do better. The next time he's faced with one of his peers belittling a female classmate, he makes it known that it is in fact because of that very female classmate, their school has a national title in debate. Next time on patrol when he hears stupid things being said about his sister or partners, he makes sure the opponent sees just how truly amazing the women he (proudly) fights alongside are.

[san-fics]

Jason: I got a call from some federal number just now

Jason: The robot said, “Please note that all conversations are recorded,” and hung up.

Jason: Now I'm wondering if maybe some higher force was trying to warn me

Jason: 'cause I checked and the number doesn't exist…

[takendruid]

Omegaverse batfam (not shipping) pains me so much, purely because of the fact that I want Bruce to be an omega so bad… but he HAS to be an alpha for maybe several reasons with the main ones being Damian, and the circumstances surrounding his birth.

I think Bruce being an omega would be really interesting, and because it makes a lot of sense in my head. He keeps on taking in children because he wants to, not because he necessarily needs to (in universe, I think anyway). I think it could also add to the whole secret identity thing? At least definitely before Robins start appearing.

People, at least definitely prior to Dick becoming Robin, wouldn’t expect the Batman to be an omega. So Batman being perceived as an alpha vs Bruce being an omega would work extremely well in Bruce’s favour. Maybe people would start questioning if he’s an omega once Robin appears, but no one physically sees him acting very motherly towards Robin.

To add, I personally HC that Jason would an omega because I love the idea of Jason being an omega who is extremely fierce, and protective of Crime Alley. But not because that is “his territory” in an alpha way, but more so because that is where he grew up. And it could also add to his whole “protects women and children” thing (I also personally ship JayRoy, and Roy can’t be an omega because of Lian’s origins being a bit similar to Damian’s).

So I really love the idea that Bruce could be a similarly protective and defensive omega of Gotham as a whole. (And I also think that an omega being incredibly rich and independent, despite how omegas are perceived, would be kind of cool from a societal standpoint.)

But this little shit (whom I love dearly), Damian motherfucking Wayne, is the entire thing that makes this headcanon fall apart, and makes it physically incapable of working. Because Bruce didn’t know Damian existed until he was about 9 I’m p sure, and Bruce got Talia pregnant, that literally makes Bruce completely incapable of being an omega. And also makes him incapable of being anything but an alpha depending on who you ask.

[sleeping-demon]

Made another jason todd lock screen i have a problem..

[trickarrowsandbatarangs]

Bruce Wayne:

[whywoulditho]

for some reason middle aged comic fans coming on the internet to defend their decision as to why they thought a twelve year old should have died or lived is so funny 😭😭😭

[pinkiemachine]

I made a thing….

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

The Huntress turning Mafioso sexism on its head

The Godfather, Birds of Prey #90, Final Crisis Revelations #4 & Huntress: Cry for Blood #6

That line from the Godfather implies that women in Sicily are “more dangerous than shotguns” because of their mafioso fathers and family. The Huntress, on the other hand, is a mob daughter who’s more dangerous than any shotgun because she’s this brutal, relentless force of nature and justice who makes those very same intimidating mafioso men quake in their boots.

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

Guests at a gala notice that Brucie Wayne is surprisingly jacked. Like, a suspicious amount of muscle for a CEO who lives a life of luxury and doesn't do any physical labour. An amount of muscle that goes beyond "works out to stay fit and look good". And when he's asked about this by a gossip columnist guest he panicks (he's running on 2 hours sleep) and says "It's so I can pick up my kids!"

Now everyone is looking at his kids. Cass and Tim are tiny at 5’ 5 and 5' 7. Damian is still a kid and he's also small. Dick is bigger, but picking him up wouldn't require that much muscle. Maybe Duke, who is still growing but looks like he could be about Bruce's height when he's fully grown? Maybe him?

Then Jason officially returns from the dead. And everyone looks at the 6' 4, 260lbs walking double fridge and goes "Ahhh, ok then."

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

multilingual batkids. they learn each others languages so they can mix and match. for example:

tim in french: have you figured out how we’re gonna tell b we’re not going to that gala yet?

damian in arabic: no i thought that was thomas’ job?

duke french: me? no jason said he’d do something

jason in arabic: hey don’t drag me into this!

dick in romani: i’m gonna kill him i really i am

steph in russian: who are we killing?

dick in english: ah! nobody! wait i didn’t know you spoke romani

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason in english: wait my greek is rusty say it again slowly

tim in greek: you’re an asshole

jason: …. you motherfucker

cass signing: nice drawing

damian in chinese: thank you

dick yelling at bruce about something he did

jason in spanish: what language is he speaking right now?

tim also in spanish: uh all of them i think

jason: does bruce even know-

tim: no he doesn’t