#i just need to graduate and get my degree
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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It’s Called Free Fall
summary: therapy makes you realise a lot of things
warnings: none
a/n: there’s not actually any alexia in this, but she is mentioned
word count: 2.7k
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The therapist’s office feels like it’s been curated for someone far more refined than you—someone who actually takes their therapy seriously, rather than as an ironic lifestyle choice. The walls are a pale, flat grey that veers perilously close to lifeless, and there’s this overwhelming sense of emptiness, like everything here exists for display rather than use. The chairs, two narrow-backed leather things angled just slightly towards each other, appear less like furniture and more like sculptures. You imagine some recent graduate from a New York art school positioned them just so, meticulously arranging each one to make sure it induced the precise mix of discomfort and luxury.
The table between you and Dr. Vargas is another matter entirely—a sleek slab of polished mahogany, thick enough that you could lean your entire weight on it without even a squeak of protest. Its surface is bare except for a single leather-bound notebook, a fountain pen and a ceramic dish, all aligned to a degree that feels almost militaristic. There’s not a single loose thread in the rug, not a fingerprint on the glass of the one window facing out onto a garden view that’s suspiciously verdant for the middle of winter.
Even the fern, perched in the corner like it’s waiting for its close-up, seems too green, too lush. It’s ridiculous, but it’s all part of the aesthetic, this carefully curated minimalism, the kind of cultivated restraint that says, “We don’t need embellishments. We’re here for the truth.” You’re here, supposedly, for honesty and revelation. But to you, it all feels a bit too staged, like a hotel that boasts a “homely charm” but is actually cold and sterile beneath the surface. You suspect Dr. Vargas might even mist the plant herself in some sacred ritual of maintenance, a sort of last-minute grounding exercise to fill the silence between clients.
You settle back in the chair, draping one leg over the other, and make a mental note to mention it next time you’re in some magazine interview. “Austere,” you’d say, “but in a chic way. I once caught my therapist hand-polishing the leaves of a houseplant.” You let yourself savour the image for a moment, glancing at the fern, which seems to return your gaze with silent judgement.
Dr. Vargas has her pen poised in that infuriatingly neutral way, a half-smile that somehow manages to be both welcoming and utterly unreadable. She’s mastered this look; the expression that says, I’m here for you while also suggesting she’s already a step ahead, already written your entire profile out in her head, neatly categorised into sub-headings like “Avoidant Tendencies” and “Control Issues.”
You begin with a sigh, throwing a glance at the ceiling in mock contemplation. “I’ve been thinking about another place. A chalet, maybe. Something in the mountains this time.” You pause, letting the idea sit, feigning like it’s just occurred to you. “Somewhere remote, where people can’t just… get to me”
You’re fully aware that she sees right through it. This isn’t her first rodeo; you’re sure she’s dealt with hundreds like you before, masters of diversion who fill sessions with banalities rather than facing anything real. But Dr. Vargas, in all her maddening professionalism, gives nothing away. She just tilts her head, the soft scratch of her pen against her notebook barely there as she writes something down.
“A place to escape,” she offers back to you in that maddeningly placid tone.
“Yes. Escape,” you echo, knowing full well the word holds no weight here. Escape from what, exactly? You let your leg bounce a little, as if the rhythm might lend some gravity to your words. “And there’s this new project I’m in talks with—A24, actually. They want me to do something… serious. A proper rebrand. Gritty. Artistic.” You drawl out “artistic” with the faintest of smirks, like you’re amused at the thought of it all. A lifetime of playing these games, and you’re practically a pro by now.
Dr. Vargas’s face betrays not a flicker of interest or amusement. She simply nods, that little encouraging tilt of her head again, like she’s waiting for you to get to the real point, the heart of the matter. But you’re not giving in so easily.
“It could be big, you know,” you continue, lifting your chin a fraction. “And I’ve got Alexia, of course.” The name slips out, deliberately nonchalant, though you feel its weight instantly, like it’s left a mark on the air between you.
Dr. Vargas raises her eyebrows, ever so slightly. “Alexia,” she repeats, not quite a question, not quite a statement. Just… acknowledgment, and yet it still feels as if she’s plucked something out of you without you realising. You don’t like it, the way she turns your own words against you.
“Yeah,” you say, shrugging. “She’s… brilliant. On the field, off it. You know, she’s—” You trail off, allowing a smirk to play on your lips. “Not bad to look at, either”
She gives no reaction, doesn’t even break eye contact. You imagine her poker face would rival that of any seasoned card shark. But it’s her silence that presses at you, coaxing out more than you intend to reveal. It’s a trick she’s used before, and yet here you are, willingly falling into it.
“Honestly,” you continue, almost laughing as if sharing some private joke, “you should see her after a match. There’s this… intensity, this rawness. Shirt off, sweat-drenched, eyes still blazing from the game. It’s… invigorating.” You roll the word around like a fine wine, savouring it as you go. “It’s like the universe threw me a bone, just when I was getting bored”
Dr. Vargas finally moves, a slight shift of her head, her mouth curving up in a near-smile. “And yet, you’re here”
Her words drop between you like a carefully placed stone. You scoff, rolling your eyes, but there’s something in her expression—an almost imperceptible softness that somehow feels like an accusation. “Therapy’s a hobby,” you shrug, leaning back, as if the very idea of anything deeper is laughable. “I’m always in therapy, Doc. News flash”
“Yes,” she agrees smoothly, not missing a beat, “but you don’t usually bring her up”
“Come on,” you counter, with a smirk that’s designed to look careless, “I bring her up all the time”
“Not like this”
Her voice is calm, almost gentle, but her gaze sharpens, pinning you in place. You feel a spike of irritation, or maybe it’s something else. You cast a look towards the fern, now faintly silhouetted by the afternoon sun, its shadow long and narrow across the wall, an unasked-for third party in this strange little dance. The absurdity of the whole scene hits you, but before you can fully detach, she’s speaking again.
“You’re talking about her differently. More… openly.” There’s no edge to her tone, no overt judgment, yet it feels like she’s peeled back a layer, glimpsed a part of you you hadn’t meant to reveal.
In the moments that follow, you stub out your cigarette on the pristine ceramic dish Vargas keeps on the table, the one she’s claimed is “not for smoking” but never actually moved after that one session. You’ve taken it as tacit permission, though you know damn well it irritates her—just another way to test the boundaries in a room that prides itself on having none. That’s half the point of these sessions: see how far you can stretch them. How much she’ll let you say, or not say. And you’ve mastered the art of saying absolutely nothing, all while filling the space with empty words.
Dr. Vargas doesn’t speak, doesn’t press, which is almost worse than if she did. There’s just the persistent softness in her eyes, the quiet implication that she understands more than you’d prefer. You remember Alexia’s eyes looking at you like that once, right after you’d tried to make some grand point about the nature of relationships—one of those pseudo-philosophical tangents you like to go on. She’d just looked at you, with a kind of bemused patience that felt a little too genuine, a little too close to knowing you.
You roll your shoulders, shake off the memory. But it clings.
“Alright,” you say, letting the smoke spill out as you form the words. “Maybe I don’t do ‘love’ like everyone else. I’m not here for a candlelit dinner and a mortgage. I’m not,” you add with a quick laugh, “one of those people who turn into some sap over a nice couple’s holiday in Santorini”
Dr. Vargas gives a small nod, an acknowledgement rather than agreement, her expression neutral but open, giving you room to continue.
“But, yes. Fine.” You take another drag, a deliberate pause. “Maybe I… care about her. I care about her. She’s different, alright?”
“Different how?” she asks gently, with an infuriatingly patient tone.
You groan, shifting in your seat. “Come on, don’t make me quantify it. That’s your thing, not mine.” You know you’re stalling, using your usual deflections, but there’s an itch underneath it, a part of you that feels raw just acknowledging that Alexia is, in fact, ‘different.’
You can feel her eyes on you, waiting for you to take the bait you’ve laid out for yourself.
“Fine, you want specifics?” you sigh, feigning annoyance, though you know you’re the one who’s led the conversation here. “She… laughs at my worst jokes. Like, really laughs. Not in a polite way, but genuinely, like she thinks I’m the funniest person alive, even when I’m barely trying. It’s stupid, really, but it gets me”
“And how does that make you feel?” Vargas leans forward, like she’s zeroing in on something significant.
You chuckle, low and dismissive, waving the question off with your cigarette. “How do you think it makes me feel? It’s… fine. Nice. A bit strange, maybe. I’m not used to being seen like that.” You pause, the weight of that admission lingering in the air between you.
She doesn’t react, doesn’t push; she just lets the moment settle, knowing there’s more.
You sigh, smoke curling up around you, as your mind goes back to other little things—the way she has this weird ritual of picking all the green M&Ms out of the bag and tossing them to you, claiming they’re “bad luck.” How she insists on reading the morning news out loud, in that silly, exaggerated announcer voice, just to make you laugh while you pretend to read emails. Or how she makes you tea at exactly the right temperature, handing you the mug with a grin like she’s just given you a priceless gift. These are things that, on the surface, should be forgettable, the kind of mundane moments that fade. But they don’t, do they? Not with her.
Dr. Vargas’s voice interrupts your reverie, soft but insistent. “You’re smiling”
You realise she’s right; you’re smiling without even meaning to, and it’s a small, stupid smile, the kind that feels too open. You try to erase it, but it’s too late. The vulnerability’s already there, a quiet confession written across your face.
You roll your eyes, more at yourself than at her. “Alright, so what? So she’s… alright, she’s fun. She’s got that energy, you know, that lightness. It’s kind of… refreshing”
The words slip out unbidden, and you feel a pang of something resembling regret. Refreshing. A word that implies something else by omission—that most of your life, most people you’ve known, have been exhausting. The irony isn’t lost on you: someone so completely different from your own brand of detached sarcasm, from your carefully cultivated ennui, has managed to slip under the radar and wedge herself into your carefully controlled life.
Dr. Vargas watches, her silence pressing you forward.
“Look, I don’t think about it too much,” you say, trying to inject a casual note into your tone. “I don’t need to psychoanalyse every smile, every inside joke. I’m not here to have my relationship broken down into neat little psych terms”
“Maybe you should think about it,” Vargas says gently. “Maybe that’s why you’re here”
You scoff, but there’s a softness in the sound, a hint of resignation. Because she’s right, isn’t she? You came here because, as much as you don’t want to admit it, this thing with Alexia has started to matter, in a way that’s both terrifying and strangely compelling. You’ve always prided yourself on staying a step removed, on being a spectator in your own life, observing rather than fully engaging. But with her, you’re finding it harder to keep that distance.
“Fine,” you mutter, leaning back, letting your head rest against the chair, staring up at the ceiling as though the answers might be written there. “Maybe she’s… special”
The words feel strange in your mouth, too vulnerable, too open. You don’t say “special” often, especially not in this context. But there it is, a reluctant admission.
“I mean, it’s not like I’m in love with her,” you continue, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “She’s great—don’t get me wrong. She’s amazing in bed. I can’t remember the last time someone made me cum so much. And she’s got this thing about her, you know? Like this fire, this intensity. It’s like when she looks at me, she’s looking right through me. And yeah, I guess that’s… intoxicating. But that’s all it is. Right?”
Dr. Vargas nods, a small, subtle gesture. “Why does that scare you?”
You don’t answer right away. Instead, you watch the smoke dancing away from your cigarette, dissipating into the air, leaving nothing behind but a faint, lingering scent. You think about what it is you’re so afraid of—because there’s something there, something you can’t quite name, a sense that if you let this thing with Alexia continue, it might change you in ways you’re not ready for.
“Because I don’t do… attachment,” you say finally, the words coming out sharper than intended. “I’ve built a life that doesn’t depend on anyone else. And she’s… she’s a complication”
You can feel Vargas watching you, sensing the weight of what you’re not saying, the unspoken truth that this isn’t just about Alexia, that it’s about something deeper, a fear of vulnerability, of losing control. She doesn’t push, though; she just waits, letting the silence do the work for her.
After a long pause, you take a breath, letting your gaze drift to the fern by the window, its leaves glossy and perfect, so meticulously maintained it almost looks fake. You wonder if it’s ever felt the strain of trying to keep everything together, to present a flawless exterior while something more fragile lurks beneath the surface.
“You know,” you say, almost to yourself, “it’s funny. For the longest time, I thought love was just a distraction, a temporary fix for people who couldn’t handle being alone.” You take another drag from your cigarette, exhaling slowly. “But with her, it’s… it’s different. It’s like she makes everything brighter, sharper, like she’s tuned into some frequency I didn’t know existed”
Dr. Vargas doesn’t respond, just nods, letting you continue.
“And the worst part?” You chuckle, a self-deprecating sound. “The worst part is that she’s getting to me. She’s in my head, even when she’s not there. I find myself thinking about her in the middle of the day, wondering what she’s up to, if she’s thinking about me too”
There’s a fragility in the admission, a crack in the armour you’ve built around yourself. And it terrifies you, this sense of letting someone in, of letting them get close enough to matter.
You stub out your cigarette, watching the last curl of smoke dissipate into the air. It feels like a metaphor for something, though you’re not sure what.
Dr. Vargas gives you a small, knowing smile. “Maybe falling in love isn’t as bad as you think it will be,” she says gently.
You shrug, trying to play it off, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s right. Because for all your detachment, all your carefully cultivated distance, there’s something about Alexia that feels like home, like she’s a part of you you didn’t realise was missing.
“Maybe,” you say, the words soft, barely audible.
Love. The word lingers like an uninvited guest. You try to dismiss it, try to laugh it off, but it keeps creeping back in.
#alexia putellas#alexia putellas x reader#fcb femeni#fcb femeni x reader#espwnt#espwnt x reader#woso#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso community
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hot for teacher | schlatt 18+
A/n: this has truly been burning my brain. reader is female presenting. I will work on some more gender neutral stuff in the future I promise!! Please enjoy<3
C/w: spanking, name calling (slut), power dynamic (teacher x student), spitting, use of daddy towards the end
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Why you decided to go back to college to get another degree, you have no idea. All you know is that this class is boring as hell and you aren’t sure why it’s even needed for your degree. The only upside was the fact that it was your first class of the day so you could get it over with. Plus the professor was kind of hot too.
It’s a warm day today, way warmer than it should be for this time of year, so you decide to show a little skin to your writing class. Your skirt is just long enough to cover your ass, and your shirt is low cut and cropped. Honestly, it’s like you’re not even wearing a shirt at all.
You walk into the classroom, plopping down in the back like you usually do.
“Ms (y/n),” Your professor says from the front of the room. “Come and see me please.”
You roll your eyes. Mr Schlatt might be hot, but he was strict. He didn’t allow gum chewing, eating or drinking - except water, of course- and locked his classroom 5 minutes after it was meant to start so nobody who was late could get in. He constantly got under your skin about your writing and your formatting, and was seeming to start early with his criticisms of you today.
“Yes, Mr Schlatt?” You ask, crossing your arms.
“Did you leave the rest of your clothes at home?” Mr Schlatt asks, raising an eyebrow.
“No, stupid, this is it.” You scoff.
Mr Schlatt could take a lot, but seeing you like that, acting all defiant and shit pissed him off. He wanted to knock you down a peg or two. His jaw works as he glares at you.
“What do you want?” You ask.
“I wanted to see you because your last essay was all over the place.” Mr Schlatt says. “It had a good foundation, but it could use some work.”
“Did I fail the assignment, or what?” You snap. “I worked hard on that essay!”
“You would receive a 50, which is failing,” Mr Schlatt pauses. “This essay is a large part of your grade, and your grade is already low enough as it is.”
“What??” You yelp. “How could I fail?! This is ridiculous!”
“I want you to redo the essay.” Mr Schlatt adds, reaching into his desk and pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to you. “This is an essay template. I’d like for you to come in during any free time that you have and work on it with me.”
You glare at him. “I’m not redoing that fucking essay.” You growl.
Mr Schlatt’s eyes darken in a way that you’ve never seen before. He takes off his glasses and places them down gently before his eyes go back to you. Your eyes widen slightly at how scary he looks.
“First off, you do not speak to me like that.” Mr Schlatt says. “Second, you will be redoing this essay. It is not a full rewrite, it is just a large edit. If you do not do this, you will receive a zero for it. And that zero would make you fail the class and you will not graduate. Am I clear?”
Your eyes widen. Surely he’s joking. This is college for fucks sake! He can’t have this power over you. Especially over some essay.
“You can’t do that!” You yell.
“I can and I will,” Mr Schlatt says. “Now, from what I’ve learned over the course of the semester is that you typically have some free time around 1pm. I’d like you to come back here at 1 so we can go over this work.”
With that, Mr Schlatt dismisses you. You stomp over to your seat and plop down, taking out your phone. You barely work in the class out of defiance, but catch Mr Schlatt glancing at you. You glare at him and he just shakes his head, leaning over to help another student.
Two classes later, you figure it’s best to just go back to Mr Schlatt’s classroom. You need to graduate. You hate college and want to get out as fast as possible. You barge into the room, making Mr Schlatt look up at you. He heaves a sigh.
You have to be Mr Schlatt’s least favorite student, but he cannot stop thinking about how you need to be put in your place. You are a student, and he is a professor. He deserves respect, and you’re going to give him that respect one way or another.
“Glad to see that you came back,” Mr Schlatt says.
It’s the end of his day and his tie is loosened, his sleeves are rolled up, and his hair is messy. You sit in the seat across from his desk and look at him while he finishes scribbling something down. Turning the paper over, he looks at you.
“Let’s get this over with.” You sigh.
The first few minutes of the edit are simple enough. You sigh and try and add in the notes that Mr Schlatt left for you.
“This is stupid,” You grumble. “Why can’t you just pass me?”
“I want you out of my class just as much as you want to get out of it,” Mr Schlatt says. “But I can’t just pass you because you want to leave. You have to earn that right.”
You sit quietly for a moment, then a smirk breaks out on your face.
“Is there any other way that you could pass me?” You ask, twirling some hair around your finger.
Mr Schlatt’s eyes narrow. “No,” He grits. “Now finish writing.”
Thankfully for him, you don’t notice Mr Schlatt’s pants becoming tighter at the crotch. You’re pushing his limits and if you don’t stop soon, you’re going to be pushed into his office’s supply closet and taught a lesson.
“You’re too hot to be this rude,” You grumble.
“You’re too old to be this defiant.” Mr Schlatt snaps back. “You have two seconds to continue this last paragraph or I’m kicking you out and you can fail the class.”
You look up at him and smirk. “Make me.”
The band holding Mr Schlatt back snaps and he stands up, slamming his palms on the wooden desk.
“Get into my office,” He growls. “Now.”
You jump at the loud noise as your eyes widen. You stare up at Mr Schlatt dumbfounded.
“Did I stutter?” He asks. “Get up and get into my office.”
You stand up so quickly that the chair that you were sitting in nearly falls over. Mr Schlatt leads you into his office and closes the door, locking it. You’re speechless, but the slowly growing puddle in your panties speaks volumes.
With two long strides, Mr Schlatt is inches from your face. He’s so close that you can smell the whiskey that he puts in his coffee to deal with students like you. Your knees nearly give out but you lean against the wall.
“You’ve been pushing me and pushing me (y/n).” Mr Schlatt breathes. “I’m so close to losing control.”
You smile softly. “Then lose control.” You reply.
“You sure about that, dollface?” Mr Schlatt smirks. “I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it.”
“Try me.” You reply.
In a swift motion, you’re grabbed and bent over the wooden desk in Mr Schlatt’s office. He kicks your ankles apart and presses his crotch against your ass, yanking your hair back. You gasp and bite your lip.
“Now, (y/n),” Mr Schlatt breathes. “This is your last chance to back out.”
“No way.” You sigh.
“Stubborn little slut,” Mr Schlatt grumbles, landing a harsh smack on your ass. “Now be fuckin’ quiet. Can’t have anyone hearing what a slut you are.”
Before you can respond, Mr Schlatt’s thick fingers find their way between your legs and to your swollen clit. Your knees finally give out, but thankfully you’re lying on the desk.
“Oh fuck,” you whine.
“You’re already so wet,” Mr Schlatt smirks. “Is this from being a defiant brat?”
You can’t help but nod as he presses against the nub, pleasure shooting through you. You yelp as your shorts and panties are ripped down, exposing your ass.
“I think you need an attitude adjustment, don’t you?” Mr Schlatt leans down, his breath hot against your ear.
You watch as he grabs a ruler off of the desk and you squirm against him.
“No!” You manage. “I don’t need an attitude adjustment!”
Mr Schlatt ignores you and pins your hands behind your back. Your eyes screw shut and you whimper softly. The defiance is gone and your clit throbs as you wait for the ruler to smack your ass.
“Count ‘em for me, slut.” Mr Schlatt says before the ruler comes down on your ass with a harsh slap.
“Fuck!” You yelp. “One.”
Smack.
Smack.
SMACK.
The ruler snaps as tears begin to fall. Mr Schlatt tosses the other piece of the ruler to the side before rubbing a soothing hand on your ass.
“Now, have you learned your lesson?” Mr Schlatt asks, releasing your wrists.
“Mhm.” You sniffle.
“Atta girl.” Mr Schlatt praises. “Now since you took that so well, turn over.”
He helps you turn onto your back and as soon as you’re facing him, he kneels.
“What are you doing?” You ask.
“Rewarding you, the fuck’s it look like I’m doing?” Mr Schlatt asks, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh.
His facial hair tickles slightly, making goosebumps rise on your skin. The closer his kisses get to your center, the more desperate you get. You’re nearly dripping on the desk now and can barely take anymore. So, you grip Mr Schlatt’s hair and tug, shoving his face into your cunt. He grunts in surprise but then starts licking.
He switches from soft featherlike licks to harsh sucking. You look down at the man between your legs, and he’s flushed, eating you out like it’s his last goddamn meal. He’s slurping up your juices and the way his eyes are closed and his arms are wrapped around your thighs bring you closer.
“F-fuck, Mr Schlatt…” You moan. “You feel so good.”
Mr Schlatt looks up at you and his pupils are blown. His normal chocolate brown eyes are nearly black as he pulls away from your pussy, a string of juices and saliva connecting the two of you.
“Daddy.” He rasps.
“Huh?”
“Call me Daddy.”
You smile down and grip his hair, shoving his face back where you need it most. The action makes his cock twitch in his pants and precum dot at his tip. A harsh suck on your clit makes you arch your back.
“Daddy, fuck!” You mewl. “Keep doing that.”
Mr Schlatt groans against you, reaching up and probing your wet hole with his thick finger. He slides it in effortlessly and is quick to find the spot that makes your vision blur.
Your thighs clench on his head as you feel the tightness in your stomach. The grip that you have on his hair is like iron as you grind your hips. Your orgasm hits you like a truck, your hole squeezing Mr Schlatt’s finger like a vice. He allows you to ride it out, the noises you’re making only driving him closer to his own orgasm.
With one minor leg adjustment, Mr Schlatt’s cock brushes against his zipper just right and he cums. He groans against you, hips thrusting into nothing. He’s sure he looks pathetic, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s got his hottest student’s pussy in his mouth right now.
He pulls back once you’re done and stands up. You gasp as he grips your jaw with a smile.
“Open.” He orders.
You allow your jaw to go slack and Mr Schlatt allows a big glob of spit to land in your mouth. You swallow, tasting yourself.
“Good girl.” Mr Schlatt praises, patting your cheek.
“Am I gonna pass?” You ask, looking up at him through your lashes.
“We might have to have a few more meetings to go over things, but I think you’ll manage a passing grade.”
You leave Mr Schlatt’s office that afternoon and walk off, your clit still throbbing. You’re sure the next few meetings aren’t going to be nearly as boring as you thought they would be.
#jschlatt#chuckle sandwich#jschlatt smut#jschlatt x reader#charlie slimecicle#chuckle sandwich smut#ted nivison#schlatt#ted nivision x reader#schlatt x reader
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things i have to do this week:
tech for the lighting design i did for a show
a student film/memorize lines
finish a twenty page paper due on friday
do a mock interview
hopefully get a real job interview
plus regular homework
and two other final projects
(including memorizing four monologues and a song)
(and making a zine about queerness in kpop)
and not having a mental breakdown
#no but seriously#i just needed to write this out#why do i do this to myself#i just need to graduate and get my degree#personal#ramble#ramble!#is this a lot or am i just normal?#or is everyone dealing like this?#and my professor is like “im worried you're not gonna finish this” thank you for the vote of confidence I Will Finish Out Of Spite
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What a lovely couple :)
Request for @we-dont-talk-about-potato-nonono of their lovely OC’s (Click for better resolution)
#myart#artists on tumblr#oc art#request#requests are open#emmy bee is back#Sorry this took so long to get out#I may be back but life still happens lol#I got to try out some fun stylization ideas i've been wanting to do for a while#Some i like#some still need a bit of tweaking#One day i'll learn what facial expressions are#I don't normally draw couples so this was a fun trek out of my comfort zone#This did mean that i had no clue what to do for posing them#However this pose of them flipped 180 degrees came to me randomly while watching graduation#And Making it a playing card just seemed like the next logical step lol#I hope you like your one of a kind playing card potatoes!
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has anyone else failed a uni class because i swear no one i know has (outside of deliberately not completing assessments) and i am soo scared that i am going to fail one of my units this semester and i am kinda spiraling
#i still have time to finish the exam but at this point like i think im fucked#like i know logically it’s not the end of the world but im already graduating a semester late and a failed class is going to destroy the#gpa i’ve been trying to build#im just not happy with my work this semester#part of me thinks it would be cathartic to fail a unit and get that pressure off but i really don’t want to#doesn’t help my brother is getting 7s in every single unit he does in uni and (i quote) ‘probably won’t fail a unit in his entire degree’#like i GET IT you’re good at uni and you’re smart you don’t need to flex#i just have put 0 effort into uni this smsester and now im suffering i’ve just had no motivation#i NEED to get my shit together next semester or else im fucked
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me: ok im gonna stop buying non-necessities before the end of the month so i dont go over budget bc of unforeseen necessities
me 6 days after getting paid: okay but what if i bought a very small backpack.
#to be FAIR#ive been yearning for said backpack for years literally#and im about to get my bachelors degree#(already passed everything i need to pass the formalities just arent completed yet)#so like. graduation present for myself#z talks
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my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting or important thing about me my sexuality is not the most interesting
#daily affirmations#pigeon posts#i think i need to remind myself this everytime i spiral about which brand of dyke i am#ultimately there are more important aspects of my life i need to focus on#like the fact that im about to be a law graduate with no job prospects in a country where over 33% of the population is unemployed#i dont want to have studied for four years for free just to have to put myself into debt for a master's degree so that i can “have an edge”#over people who cant afford to get master's degrees and are just as qualified for articles but will be overlooked in a blatant attempt to#keep existing power structures of the apartheid era in play by constantly adding more requirements to entry level fucking jobs#*deep sigh*#i need a fucking job#lgbtqia+#bisexual#queer
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so crazy to have graduated high school and started uni and moved out during the pandemic bc it almost feels like it didn't really happen. can't stop feeling like I stumbled into my adult life accidentally without being up for the task
#I know I've been single-handedly making the choices that have shaped my adult life so far but it doesn't *feel* like it was me#it feels more like moving out and getting a degree are things that just happened to me without me being actively involved#scary to think that after I graduate I won't even have the structure of uni anymore and I'll need to really take charge of my own life#well whatever. I stay silly!
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*covered in blood* i applied for the job
#to be clear: they are requiring a degree that i do not have yet. i am one semester away#so the odds of me getting even an interview w the sort of competition they will have for this position are VERY low#BUT i do have 5 years of experience in the area they are wanting plus another 3 in just general field experience#but regardless of that i haven't applied to a job in over 7 years so this was a big step for me lol#i have a resume! and a cover letter! and really beefy references!#i wont start job hunting in full until i graduate but the timing of this was too perfect for me to pass up#my cover letter will have to be rewritten for each app ofc but my resume is pretty much done. maybe some tweaking to wording for each app#but otherwise its solid#i dont THINK i need a linkedin? its unclear#maybe that will be my next step#but either way i feel weird but in a good way#i even managed to write a cover letter that didn't sound like a corporate drone but was also very professional#its a little short all things considered but its too late now lmao#now i. wait. until mid november lmfao
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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#SORRY im mad about my stupid college again#WHY do they require so many internhip hours??????#no wait i KNOW why. bc the chef who runs the program is EVIL AND STUPID#he literally thinks he as a chef is gods gift to this earth. he thinks CHEFS are gods gift to this earth but only if they agree with him.#however. gods gift to this earth do NOT deserve breaks. ('chefs dont get breaks' is a direct quote)#he thinks all chefs should work like dogs and SUFFER. and the industry should never change#and he loves the power of being the program head. (and most students' advisor)#and he can say im preparing you to be the best!!!!! and get away with it#and he doesnt respect pastry chefs. and guess what i am hahahah#like i know the culinary industry is toxic and most chefs are jerks. but bakeries are very different from restaurants#so i thought i could handle some jerky chefs during school and get my degree and go work in a bakery#(i can handle some jerky chefs)#the problem was that a jerky chef ran the program as if you were already working in the worst restaurant environment imaginable#and he only taught like everyone wanted to be world renown chefs of 5 star parisian restaurants that take 4 years to get a reservation#(which is crazy that he thinks hes qualified to get other people to that level but ok.)#and thats great for people who want that! but some people (me) just want a cute little bakery!#also ! its advertised as a 2 year associates program#which. is true that you'll only get an associates degree out of it#but 2 years is including summer semesters. sorry i don't think thats how that works. i think thats 3 years#2 years for people who decide to do extra and take summer semesters.#and i think the only realistic way to complete the internship hours is to take an off semester and only do the internship#so you're not doing it at the same time as classes#but that adds a minimum of 1 semester and maximum 2#or if you cram the spring and fall semesters to have summer off and do the internship during summer#summer semesters are shorter. so youd have less weeks to complete the same amount of hours#it is simply not a 2 year program for the average person!!!!!!#i was IN COLLEGE FOR 2 YEARS!!!!!! AND I ONLY TOOK 1 (ONE) PASTRY CLASS!!!!!! I SHOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO GRADUATE!!!!!!!!!!!#and what do you MEAN you expect me to be in college for 3 years and only get an associates degree out of it. no thank you#its almost like...... an associates degree requires 2 years of schooling........ and theres too much happening in this program.......#bc the man in charge of it is power hungry and wants to control people and thinks chefs need to be beat into shape.......
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oh i fucked up…. i thought the admissions for the university i applied to opened nov. 1st …… it closed nov. 1st …..
#*fizzyspeaks#bachelors degree on hold till may i guess 🧍🏽♀️#what am i supposed to do till then ? WORK#life is just wake up and work come home sleep wake up and work#and i’m gonna need to deal w my mom. like i’m working and also just graduated college like a few months break isn’t gonna make me a failure#latine parents are sooo…… like what do you want from me#i hate it here#why’d i get an english degree …..#following your dreams is for suckers#there’s no variety in my life i’m so bored i need to kiss someone#raise your hand im taking volunteers
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why doesn't anyone care about art anymore. the music program at my college is dying much faster than i thought. they dont seem to care about the parts of humanity that are so frequently taken for granted.
do people not still hum to themselves? draw stick figures? do little dances when they're alone? are people so caught up in the disappointments of the world that they forget to enjoy it? enjoy beauty?
have we lost our conception of beauty? now that ai is taking all the arts from us we should appreciate the beaty of real art but we don't. we are so caught up in hating the things that are bad art but we don't appreciate the things that are good art.
and its killing the people that actually create it.
#brain barf time#i wanted to write poetry but words didnt come so#the music dept at my college has been on a slow decline for a while but its a lot worse than i thought#ill probably be the last graduate of my piano degree#before they consolidate it all to just a music degree with focuses on instruments#but they dont like us doing anything other than piano or voice so#what else will they offer#ill get my degree but i dont think itll last much past me#i have feelings about this and needed to scream into the void#“classical music is boring though” no#“i don't understand it” im sorry for you#classical music can be what you want it to#so can any art. ppl miss that#musician#art#music student#artist#ai art stinks#scream into the void#piano major#piano#music theory#music
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Started to feel a little frantic this afternoon/evening as I tried to juggle schoolwork, making supper, getting supper to the kid at the high school in play rehearsal until 9:30 (they are in the week leading up to the performances, or as the kids call it, Hell Week), making sure the other kid is all set for her new swim lessons, get the costume measurements for dance to the studio before the deadline ...
I forced myself to sit down after sending out the scan for the costume measurements. I poured myself a small glass of white wine and I read a little bit in my just-for-fun book (Enter a Murderer by Ngaio Marsh, and yes, murder mysteries are how I relax), and after about 10 minutes I was able to wrap up my schoolwork for the evening and now I'm heading to finish supper. I delivered food to the kid at school. The swimming kid should be finished with her lesson by now and she and her dad will be home soon to tell me about it. All will be well. The world did not fall apart when I rested for a few moments.
I need to remind myself of that frequently.
#decided this semester that trying to be a student while my kids are in high school AND I'm working#means I'm missing out on a lot of the few years we have left with them#and since I don't NEED a degree at this moment in order to work#I switched programs and am graduating with an associates degree in liberal studies in december#rather than a bachelors degree in ils sometime in the next few years#I am so relieved#and keep reminding myself I just need to get through this semester and then I can breathe#but in the meantime#there's a lot of near-hyperventilating going on#especially this week#all shall be well#I know julian's words were for a larger vision#but they apply to the small stuff as well#all manner of thing shall be well
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i hate that people seem to value my potential worth with a bachelor's degree ("you'll make more money!" as if my degree program isn't one of the least useful degrees if you're not going into med school) over my mental health. as if monthly OCD-induced and autistic meltdowns aren't bad enough.
it's not like i'm a semester or two away from graduating. i have a couple YEARS left. i'm still technically in my third year in my degree. i can only manage 3 courses at the very most and any more causes me to burn out and my executive dysfunction plummets
#vent#this isn't even mentioning the fact that i NEED. to get out of this house#it feels so selfish to say that but i live with people who either can't or don't want to actually learn#to better themselves#so i live with an extremely ableist person who would rather call my grandparents lazy over acknowleging the fact#that my grams does indeed have several disabilities that cause chronic fatigue and pain#or yells at her (autistic) son because he interrupts her in conversation and doesn't ask about her day#like.... sorry your rsd is so bad you have to passive-aggressively mention how you feel like no one cares#but don't be surprised when you move to the US to be with your partner and you never hear from your son again#not unless YOU call HIM#i can't tell my mom this because this is her sister i'm talking about and those two are so close#i kinda just want to sink into the void rn. i don't know what to do#i really hope i can get my autism assessment done in july or august and then i can maybe not do classes in the fall#i need to speak to a councellor and then my academic advisor#but i think i have enough courses to graduate with my associate's degree#and then i can go to the employment services agency for help finding a job#because it's. it's bad right now#long list of jobs i've applied for and it's like they haven't even reviewed my application#only one of them just went 'nope' and i was like 'okay cool thanks for the email you did not send'#edit this woman is also dating a trump supporter so like
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