#ill probably be the last graduate of my piano degree

[musings-of-a-crazed-musician]

why doesn't anyone care about art anymore. the music program at my college is dying much faster than i thought. they dont seem to care about the parts of humanity that are so frequently taken for granted.

do people not still hum to themselves? draw stick figures? do little dances when they're alone? are people so caught up in the disappointments of the world that they forget to enjoy it? enjoy beauty?

have we lost our conception of beauty? now that ai is taking all the arts from us we should appreciate the beaty of real art but we don't. we are so caught up in hating the things that are bad art but we don't appreciate the things that are good art.

and its killing the people that actually create it.

[2seokfan]

Scarlet & Hazel | Ch. 1

pairings: hoseok x reader x yoongi

genre: fluff, very light angst, smut (future)

word count: 3.6k

chapters: ch.1, ch.2, ch.3, ch.4

summary: 

Just cause you’re living paycheck to paycheck in a tiny apartment even after graduating college doesn’t mean you’re not happy. So what if your best friend is working her dream job making close to six figures every year?  So what if she’s in a loving, committed relationship with her perfect boyfriend that you’re 99% sure is going to propose to her sometime next year? It doesn’t matter that your idea of a perfect relationship is a $9.99 bottle of wine on Friday nights while you binge watch Netflix specials.

Ok so maybe you’re a teensy bit miserable. Maybe you have no idea what you’re doing with your life. Maybe all you need to do is accidentally cross paths with two hybrids who will drastically change that.

Meet “Scarlet” and “Hazel”, two of the most gorgeous hybrid men you have ever laid eyes on. With their help, you learn that life is an adventure, a rollercoaster with ups and downs, and you were too preoccupied with yourself to climb out of your own predicament. And hey, you’re not much of a romantic, but with these two, you just might change your mind.

note: Hi! This is my first fic ever! I don’t even know if anyone’s gonna read this but I’ve had this idea in my head for awhile so fuck it.

You kicked off your shoes and threw your purse on the couch.

“God my back hurts!” 

Honestly with the amount of random bodily aches you experience on a daily business you could pass for being 70 years old. But this time you knew where the pain stemmed from. You just had to fall asleep awkwardly after a night on your phone. And of course today was a work day and you slept past all THREE of your alarms. But you know that feeling when you sleep for a suspiciously long amount of time and something doesn’t feel right? That’s the sixth sense that saved your ass this morning because your internal body clock was like sweetie I think you’re late. 

You only had time to slap on some makeup, hoping it looked semi decent, and throw your greasy hair into a messy, but passable bun because no one wants to see an ugly receptionist. You had to skip your morning Starbucks drive-through routine because you’re about to be LATE, late so you grab your keys and start your car, booking it to work.

You work at a private hybrid clinic which pays a little better than most but that means you also have to deal with a lot of attitude from rich “owners” (you hate that word). And you sat weirdly at work today so that did nOThing to help your back pain. Also how come everybody decided to book an appointment today?? It’s Friday for god's sake why does everyone and their mothers decide it’s time to call the clinic and book a checkup. They get so mad at you when you say this whole month is filled. You can’t change the schedule though?? The calendar’s filled lady either get over it and settle for next month or fuck off (of course you don’t say that out loud cause you’ll get fired). Also someone yelled at you today because they didn’t like the magazine choices in the waiting room.

Anyways your day sucked and you couldn’t be happier being back in your tiny apartment to binge watch netflix stand-up comedies until you collapse. Well you say it’s your apartment but you actually have a roommate. She’s nothing like you though, she’s the epitome of responsibility. You agreed to live with her even though you met her through Craigslist because once you met her in person you deemed her genuine enough, and also found out she’s hardly ever at the apartment but she still pays rent on time?! You really hit the jackpot with her honestly. Cause you can be a little bit messy sometimes but even when she is home she never complains. The only negative side of having her as a roommate is that you never really had time to bond with her cause she’s so busy and over your league that even after a year you two still aren’t anything more than friendly acquaintances.

Alright time to get out of your work clothes and into nothing but your favorite oversized t-shirt with no pants on because that is what you deem home-appropriate attire. But before you turn on netflix your tummy is making “feed me” noises so it’s time to check the fridge. Damn no leftovers. Time to crack open one of those Trader Joe’s frozen meals you have stacked in the freezer. You blindly pick a box. Guess you’re having vegan tikka masala tonight. Not gonna lie though those frozen meals are actually not half bad. Or maybe you’ve been away from good home cooking for so long you’ve become desensitized? Who cares, you’re hungry. Also it’s Friday, so no harm in cracking open a bottle of wine right?

When you’re all settled on the couch with your favorite plush blanket on your legs, a random comedian on tv, and a full tummy, your mind drifts away. It’s Saturday tomorrow and you have the weekends off. Maybe you should do something fun for yourself to make up for the crap you had to deal with today. You text your best friend Karli. You know she’s awake since it’s only 10pm.

You: Hey girl wanna go to the beach or smth tmrw?? <3

Karli: Yaaas ok I don’t work!! What time?

You: and we can walk around all the fancy stores and get coffee from that place we love.

You: hmmm how bout meet there @11??

Karli: Sounds good sweetie want me to pick you up?

You: no its ok ill meet u there i need to buy groceries after

Karli: Kk love ya see you then!!!

You: love ya! night bby

Karli knows that when you say “go to the beach” you really mean walk along the beach and the nearby stores because it’s early June and prime tourist season. That means the sand is packed with people and their kids and the water’s probably filled with pee so you’re not really down for that. Also the expensive shops near the beach are so cute and you love walking around window shopping, pretending like you can actually afford any of the items on display.

The wine is now getting to you cause before you know it you find your eyelids getting heavy. You muster up your last ounce of strength to turn off the tv and force yourself out of the couch cause your poor back doesn’t need another excuse to keep hurting. As much as you don’t want to wash your face and brush your teeth, you have to because you don’t want makeup on your pillowcase tonight. And when you finally crawl into bed you knock out instantly.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Oh fuck…”

You forgot that drunk you last night set an alarm today for 9am. Thank you drunk Y/N. 

Why 9am? Because you need to shower and get ready, plus the beach you’re going to is near the north part of the city, which is also the expensive part of the city, meaning it’s a LONG ways from where you live. But the stores are aesthetically pleasing and it contains both you and Karli’s favorite coffee shop so you’re willing to make the 25 minute drive. Karli doesn’t have to worry though because she lives a lot closer than you do. Girl has got her shit together. Honestly you’re just glad she decided to move back after graduate school cause the long distance friend thing sucks balls.

You hop in the shower and rinse yourself awake. The weather is perfect, warm but not too hot. Unlike many people who prefer to dress up for a nice outing, you’re just the opposite. You’ve been forced to dress in nice business attire with a full face of makeup all week. Hell no are you dressing up on your days off too. It’s a sweatpants and tank top kinda day so that’s exactly what you wear. Ever since college you’ve spoiled yourself into only wearing comfy clothes whenever you have the chance and it’s become a minor problem in your life. You have some perfectly nice jeans in the closet but you haven’t worn them in forever. And you’re not gonna wear them today either. And makeup? Who needs makeup? You’ll just go barefaced since you have no one to impress. Actually just kidding maybe a little concealer just to cover up a few rough spots but that’s IT. You’re still a little self conscious and you know you have to work on that but not today.

It’s now 10:15. You grab your purse from the couch, slip on your favorite pair of slides and head to your car. You’re the kind of person who absolutely needs music when you drive so you quickly start blasting your favorite playlist. Before you know it, you’re pulling up to the beach area. Parking is hard to find on the weekend but your lucky ass managed to squeeze into a street parking spot right as someone pulls out. You lock your car and make the trek to Cozy Coffeehouse, your favorite coffee shop hands down.

Karli is already here and she’s hopping up and down, waving at you. She looks super cute today in her little black dress and fishnets. She’s had the same taste since high school and you’re glad that even a Master’s degree hasn’t stopped her from dressing all punk on her days off. You jog over and give her a quick hug.

“Hey girl look at you!! You’re so cute!” You take in her makeup and you swear if she didn’t go the corporate route she definitely should have been a makeup artist. Her eyeshadow is amazing and you’ll never ever have the blending talent that she has, nor could you ever get your eyeliner to look that sharp.

“Aw thanks! You look comfy though I’m kinda jealous now maybe I should’ve dressed down.” 

“No I love your outfits! Besides, someone has to look nice in this relationship.”

You link arms and march into the cafe. It’s located near the fancy designer stores on a large hill overlooking the beach. When you step inside the whole atmosphere screams ‘cozy’, fitting its name perfectly. The interior is littered with mismatched sofas and armchairs but it somehow still looks aesthetically pleasing. Soft piano jazz is playing through speakers and when you step inside the delicious scent of freshly ground coffee beans immediately invades your nostrils.

You glance at their pastry display first. Today must be your lucky day because they have tiramisu and you absolutely love tiramisu but it’s usually sold out. No way in hell are you letting this chance slide, fuck breakfast norms you’re definitely getting a bite of that. Unfortunately you’re not a fan of sugary treats on top of sugary drinks so to balance things out you choose to order their house brew.

After you two order, you find a spot in one of the plush armchairs near the window and sit. You really are lucky today since window seats are usually taken. But not this time! You guys get to enjoy the gorgeous scenery displayed before you. The sun is bright, people are laying on the beach tanning, and kids are splashing each other with water. For the first time in awhile, you feel content with life, if only for a bit. 

Before long your orders are called out and you stand up to retrieve them. Once you’re settled, you break into conversation with Karli, eager to catch up on everything that happened since you two last spoke face-to-face. You talk about work, Karli’s boyfriend Sunny, that new pizza place that opened up near your apartment that actually has really shitty pizza.

“Like seriously how do you fuck up pizza that badly?” you exclaim in between generous bites of tiramisu.

“No I get you,” Karli responds, slurping her iced mocha frappuchino, “everybody knows what pizza is supposed to taste like, I mean it’s gotta take talent to actually fuck it up to the level you’re describing girl.”

“Exactly!!” You wave your arms in the air, wanting to physically demonstrate your frustration at the situation and your passion for good pizza.

“Anyways…” Karli gently sets her drink down and takes on a more serious tone. “How are you though, honestly.”

“Hmm, me?” You swallow your last bite of tiramisu, “I’m doing good. Works ok, life’s ok. You know. Everything’s… ok.”

“I get that everything’s ‘ok’ but you know I want you to be more than ok. I want you to be happy”

You see the genuine concern in her eyes. Bless this girl for being so soft-hearted.

She continues, “And when was the last time you dated? Like, what, 2 years ago??”

Of course she has to mention dating. Karli has always been a romantic. You? Not so much. Your brain tended to err on the logical, practical side, which is not always a good idea since it keeps you away from many potential relationships.

“I date!” You scoff, but you’re not convincing anybody, least of all yourself.

“Oh really?” Her eyes widen in mock surprise, “Tinder one night stands don’t count babe. You know what I mean.”

“Well you didn’t specify…” You mumble, trying to come up with any excuse to defend your pride. You know she’s just being a good friend and that she’s asking because she cares about you, so you don’t let her questions irritate you.

“Sweetie I’m not trying to make you feel bad and I’m sorry if it comes across that way. It’s just… you mean a lot to me and you’re my bestie and I just want to see you be happy.” She takes your hand from across the table and looks you in the eyes. “We don’t get to see each other as much as we used to, so when I do I want to check in on how you’re doing.”

Then she averts her eyes, which you find highly suspicious. “Also I may or may not have found someone who I KNOW will be a perfect match for you.”

“AHA I KNEW you were leading up to something!”

“Wait but hear me out. He’s an accountant and at first I was like hmmm is he too boring for Y/N? But then I realized I was judging him by his job and that’s not cool so I talked to him and he’s, like, actually super cute and super sweet and I think you two will get along so well!” She’s speaking very fast at this point, trying to squeeze out as much information as possible before you can interject. Then she finishes with one of her signature Karli smiles, big and wide and all teeth and she knows you can’t say no to that face.

“Dammit. Fine.” You lost this round. “Alright if he wants to meet up I won’t say no. How bout that?”

“Gee that’s so thoughtful of you Y/N.” Her tone is sarcastic but she’s still smiling so you know she means no harm.

After another half hour of conversation, locked in a heated debate about food again (this time she’s defending her stance that pineapple belongs on pizza), Karli’s phone rings. The sound scares the poor girl half to death, and watching her jump a mile from her couch had you snorting into your coffee mid drink.

She looks at the caller ID, muttering under her breath, “It’s Saturday what do they want?” then glances up with a sad little pout, “Sorry Y/N it’s work gimme a sec…”

From what you can hear on her side of the conversation, something has come up and she has to head to the office right away. 

“Ok I’ll be there in fifteen,” she hangs up and gives an exaggerated “Ughhhhh”. She takes one large gulp, finishing the last of her ultra sweet, ultra whipped frappuccino. “It’s like they can’t do anything when I’m not there.” She looks especially apologetic when her eyes land back on you, “I’m so sorry I have to cut this short…”

“Hey it’s ok! Duty calls ya know,” you give her a reassuring grin, hoping it passes for a smile instead of a grimace. You were really hoping to hang out today.

“No it’s not ok. We didn’t even get to walk around today! And I know how much you like to do that.” She stands up, slipping her purse onto her shoulder, “so next time I’ll plan a day where I guarantee I won’t get interrupted. It’s the least I can do.”

“Mk sounds good babe,” you give her a big hug, “Go get ‘em tiger!”

After she exits the cafe you finish the last bit of your coffee and glance out the window, staring at the people on the beach. Wow it’s really crowded down there today. You zone in on two kids attempting to build a sandcastle, but it’s too close to the water so the waves flatten it in two seconds. But it seems they didn’t learn their lesson because they keep rebuilding the castle in the same spot. Just move it further up little dudes.

You find yourself lost in thought again. Just because Karli’s suddenly busy doesn’t mean you don’t still have a whole day to yourself. You can walk around on your own. Also why not treat yourself to another drink? A fun one this time from their specials menu.

Ten minutes later you find yourself wandering around the various shops, hot hazelnut latte in hand, gazing at display after display of designer clothes and bags. Look, you may not be a huge fashion person, or have any expendable cash, but a girl can still appreciate art, especially when it’s laid out so nicely in front of you. 

Speaking of art, there’s an art gallery coming up that you absolutely love. You’ve always been too afraid to go inside because you’re the type of person who feels obligated to buy something if you enter a local store and you DEFinitely can’t afford anything there. So you opt to loiter outside, like some creep, looking a little too long at the featured art through the window. This time it’s an Impressionist style painting of a ship on hazy waters with a sunset in the background. You’re no artist but you can appreciate good quality work when you see it. The piece is mesmerizing and serene, transfixing you to the spot. Before you know it, you’ve been staring for 15 whole minutes.

While admiring the artist’s use of color on the display piece, you overhear a lady raising her voice not too far away, snapping you out of your trance. It sounds like drama, so being the nosy bitch that you are, you’re definitely gonna check it out, if only to satisfy your curiosity.

“What do you mean ‘no’?! You’ll be perfect for each other!! Where’s your owner I bet he’ll listen!” At this point the lady’s voice is sounding downright aggressive.

As you shuffle closer to the scene of the noise, you spot a middle-aged, blonde lady pointing her finger at two hybrid men, almost jabbing one of them in the chest with her sharp, ruby nails. Behind her stands a gorgeous female arctic fox hybrid who clearly belongs to her as she pats her owner’s shoulders, trying to calm her down.

“I’m sorry miss but we just aren’t interested.” The taller of the two hybrids with orange hair speaks up, gently pushing the lady’s hands away. “Please leave us alone.” He’s being surprisingly calm, even after getting yelled at in public.

“Yeah lady get out of our faces,” the other white and grey haired hybrid is definitely more agitated, crossing his arms as he huffs in annoyance. You don’t blame him since the blonde lady is being ridiculously rude.

You can’t really make out the two males’ faces, since they’re turned away from you, but they are obviously hybrids. Both having incredibly bushy, soft-looking tails and tall, pointy ears sticking out of their heads.

Even if you can’t see their expressions, you can tell they’re uncomfortable with the harassment. Since you’re still somewhat unaware of the context, you stay out of the argument but decide to keep an eye on the situation in case the lady steps out of line. You’re just slightly around the corner, able to stay a safe distance away so that no one, especially the lady, can catch you eavesdropping. Pretending to admire the Gucci purses displayed in front of the shop you’re now standing at, and almost choking at the price, you cautiously side-eye blondie as she refuses to back down from the hybrid boys.

“Listen here you rude little pets, I’m not leaving you alone until I see your owner. My Sylvia here,” she gestures to the fox hybrid behind her, “would make a perfect partner for you.” She pokes the orange haired hybrid again, “I’ve been searching so long for her to find a mate and I’m not giving you up! Now where the hell is your owner!”

What the fuck?! How dare this lady talk to them like that? And in public no less! You now know exactly why she’s yelling at them. Working at a private hybrid clinic has opened your eyes to the harsh world of hybrids, and their selfish, rich owners. It’s not uncommon for owners to negotiate with each other and breed their hybrids. If two pretty hybrids mate, their children can be sold for loads of money. It's cruel and disgusting, with many of the children sold off before they can even get to know their parents. You’re all too familiar with this tradition, often catching owners in the waiting room of your clinic discussing in whispers about buying and selling hybrid children as if they’re livestock.

“Hey what the fuck did you call us?!” The white and grey hybrid is now also raising his voice. “Listen you wrinkly bi…!” He is quickly silenced by the orange hybrid, who abruptly clamps his hand over his buddy’s mouth.

Orange hair clears his throat. “What he means is, we don’t appreciate the tone you’re using with us. Please leave us alone ma’am. We’ll be on our way. Goodbye.” They attempt to brush past her.

“Hey hold on a minute! I’m not done with you!!” This lady even has the balls to grab onto orange hair’s arm. “I demand to speak to your owner!” Then some sort of realization dawns upon her because her eyes go wide, then quickly narrow. “And where are your collars? Aren’t owned hybrids supposed to have collars on? You know I just might have to call Hybrid Services.” 

You can see the boys visibly tense at her words as she sports a satisfied smirk. Poor Sylvia is now gently tugging on her shirt. “Please calm down, miss…” she says desperately trying to remedy the situation.

Before you know it, and without any plan of action, you round the corner and march up to the boys, standing defensively in front of them.

“Um…” You gulp, then clear your throat, speaking in what you hope is a more confident tone. “Sorry I took so long guys! You wouldn’t believe the line at the coffee shop!”

Next

[unfliteredone]

I think I want to make a 5 year plan or something like that. Maybe if I set real goals for myself I can make things happen. You think? Let’s give it a shot at least.

I’m only just writing this now. This is the first time I have ever written a real plan for myself. If we are being honest and blunt I really thought I would kill self by now. Yeah when I made it past high school it was a shock to me but now college. Yeah I’m a little impressed with myself. I suffer from a lot for trauma and mental illness. I have a lot of shit that goes on in my head and In my life and well shit was a mess. Throughout that all I succeeded. Now here I am. Standing at the doorway to the rest of my life and I am 100% about to go with it.

With my little sister about to enter high school in the fall I see her distancing herself from us to find herself. I think she will be busy and family time will be hard to come by. I am going to love this because the guilt will not be there to stay home or have to be around. Yes we will definitely still schedule time to be around each other and I think we’ll have a good time when that comes but I want to use these next 4/5 years to put in place something for myself. So here we go.

I feel like with this being a draft. I also also hate putting shit in stone I’m going to let myself come back and edit my plan as time goes on. Im hoping that Quarantine won’t go past the fall at least and will let me like stay on track with a plan of some sort.

Today’s Date is April 25 2020 11:25 pm when I write this.

Date of 1st Edit:

-

By December 2020 I want to have taken the GRE exam and hopefully done well enough. I’ll probably end up taking a second one in January 2021 just to make myself feel better.

One year From now (April 2021) I want to say I have. Traveled by myself at least once. Traveled with my friends at least once. Gotten another tattoo or 2. (covid pandemic permitting).

By June of 2021 I want to be done apply to my Grad school program(s) (so far I have one picked out but I’m going to look to apply to one may two others)

Current Grad school program(s)

- Master’s in Childhood education and Early Childhood education @ Queens college for no childhood education degree holders

(that’s me I have a bachelors in criminal justice. Yeah featuring that degree was a big mistake I’ll tell you and a huge waste of time).

By Fall of 2021 I want to be in my masters Program. I would also like to have paid off my credit card By this point. I would like to have bought myself a new laptop and an iPad with all it’s accessories. (Yes I think these will be very important for school)

By December 2021 I want to have a 3.5 GPA in school. I want to be working a relaxed full time job that allows me to go out on the weekends to see my friends. (I’m asking for a lot I know).

By June 2022 (I’m picking very odd months at this point). I want to have gained my motorcycle license and possibly a motorcycle. I want to also travel to Texas by myself by this point.

September 2022 I want to be entering my second year of grad school. (If I don’t do a dual program this would be my last year, the dual program adds just one extra semester) (don’t let that stop you from doing that!)

At this point I want to start looking for either my own place or a place to move if my family has not already moved by this point.

January 2023 I want to spend out of state. Possibly with friends but definitely not in New York.

April 2023 (Three years from today.) I want to have grown my beard. Been going to the gym semi constantly at this point. Saved at least 10,000 dollars. Paid off my car loan. Be more financially responsible.

August of 2023 I want to spend this entire month at the beach in some way. Just a thought.

September 2023 I would be entering the last semester in my dual program I think. (my 26th birthday ) I want to spend this birthday out of state somehow with friends.

December 2023 Graduate with my Master’s degree. Start planning to pay off student debt and grind hard to get a teaching job.

January 2024 take the next possible exam to get my teaching license or apply for my license (however it works)

April 2024 (4 years from now) look for apartments or places to put down payments to live forever possibly. Possibly look into buying secon car if the money is there.

Sept 2024 (Turning 27) get my 1st teaching job! I don’t care how I have to do it I want to be teaching by this point. I want to have a classroom or somethinf to call my own and be a full on teacher.

January 2025 I want to spend my 1st Christmas break as a teacher enjoying everything I have so far in life. I also want to be playing piano still and drums. I want to have invest money in drawing tablets or programs and cameras to take pictures. I want to make a little money on my artwork on the side if I can. It would also be nice to be in a relationship by this point in my life just saying.

April 2025 (Five years from now) I want to be in a good spot financially to have hopefully moved out by myself or something or that nature. I want to have traveled a lot and have gotten plenty of tattoos. I want to be going out and seeing my friends often enough. Overall I want to be happy.

So there it is my five year plan thus far. It is a work in progress it won’t be finished until April 2025. I have a long way to go. Hopefully I’m still doing this in five years.

[alien-the-magician]

50 Questions

I was tagged by two cuties @princess-shurii and @tiddiescult thank youu💕

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Studying, the closer I get to graduation (which is next year sjjs) the more stressed I get

2. What makes your day better?

Talking with my best friends

3. Whats the best thing to happen to you today?

My stage got approved!!

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Neverland or Camp Half Blood

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Nope :)

6. Do you have any mental illness?

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14 and I have apparently some degree of anxiety but it is not too bad

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

One time and legit this man clad in black with fangs was at the corner of my room and I was so desperate to scream but I wasn’t able to move, this happened while I was at y family home at Brasov

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I got into violin thanx to the Eurovision winner from Norway (the fairytale guy) but as for making beats, more technical stuff  and finding what I like jazz music was so important especially Ella Fitzgerald

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I am not sure but I think I was getting there with my ex

10. What’s your dream date?

Nothing super big maybe enjoying a nice dinner with good food

11. What do others notice about you?

I don’t know probably my eyes or my height, my friend Defne said my cheeks bc apparently I have natural blush sshsjs

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I am constantly playing with my fingers 

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Umm I kinda still talk with my ex

14. How many exes do you have?

5

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Okay I have several playlists but my school ride playlist consists of 21 songs

16. What instruments can you play?

Violin, piano and guitar

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

My brother and my friends

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Japan Fox Village or São Paulo or Blood Falls

19. What’s your zodiac?

Okay I was born at 22nd december so I am considered both a capricorn and a saggitarius but most astrologists take it as capricorn

20. Do you relate to it?

Yeah bc I am definitely highly critical and also a perfectionist, and super ambitious too

21. What is happiness to you?

Loving myself and being around people I love

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Super stressed thanks to school and stupid people who like making rumors

23. Whats the worst decision you ever made?

Trusting fake people

24. What’s your favorite store?

I like going to the spice market with my mom the smells are amazing also Grand Bazaar is so wonderful and the general atmosphere is magical

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

I think it should be up to the woman who is carrying the child

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Yep

27. Do you have a favorite album?

Lately I have been listening to Suncity by Khalid

28. What do you want for your birthday?

College acceptance (the early application week is close to my 18th bday)

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

They think I am quiet

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Most people say I look my age

31. Where do you keep your phone while sleeping?

Next to my bed

32. What word do you say the most?

Okay

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

Currently its either 1 year older 

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

One year younger

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

A doctor sjsjs (it has been my dream for a really long time people just associate me with it)

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

r&b

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

France probably

38. What is your current favorite song?

My Bad, Khalid

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I think either 3 or 4 years, I have been on here for a really long time 

40. What are you excited for?

April holiday which is in two weeks 🙏

41. Are you better talker or listener?

Depends on the situation

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Finished my last college essay draft

43. What do you want for Christmas?

We don’t celebrate it :(

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Biology, Chemistry, Maths, Philosophy 

45. On a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

a 5 maybe

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Hopefully in a med school close to getting my MD

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

I don’t think I ever did romantically

48. What’s age do you want to get married?

33-35

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an archeologist (my aunt at that time did some archeology stuff in Egypt so blame that)

50. What do you crave right now?

Ice tea 

I tag: @cypressgrove, @minslattae, @iliketosuckdickswithbarney, @ilovetowritebutwhohastime, @junguwus-en-rose

[ciathyzareposts]

Interview with Brian Cody, Co-Creator of Fooblitzky

By Joe Pranevich

From time to time, it has been our pleasure to not only play and explore the classic games, but to discuss them with their creators. We’ve spoken to game designers and game illustrators, but I am pleased to have been able to spend some virtual time with someone who was both: Brian Cody, the co-creator of Fooblitzky, Infocom’s first and last computer board game. If you missed our coverage of that game, you can find it here. Brian was not only responsible for much of the game design, he also developed the game’s unique graphical style.

The following interview has been assembled from a series of emails in January 2019 and edited together for your reading enjoyment.

A fine example of Mike’s “textbook”-style illustration

How you got your start at Infocom and what you had been doing prior to that?

I came from a commercial art background, having graduated from Massachusetts College of Art in the mid-seventies, and worked in a variety of art-related jobs: freelance illustrator, TV cartoon animator and art director in children’s book publishing. My last position before joining Infocom was as staff graphic designer for Houghton Mifflin’s Children’s Book Division, a position I found very slow-moving and boring. I was anxious to try something different.

Can you tell us more about the children’s books that you illustrated of cartoons that you worked on before Infocom?

Children’s book publishing is broken into 2 types:

Trade books: those big colorful picture books you typically find in all children’s book department. Many successful star illustrators have emerged from this category and earn a good living. I was not one of them.

Educational publishing: huge publishing programs that produce 200-300-page textbooks for grades K-12 and, in the lower grades, are filled with fun, colorful, spot art. Textbook illustrators do not make big money. That was me.

So, consequently, there are no trade books with my name on them. But if you had a grade school child in the late 70’s, 80’s, 90’s or early aughts then they undoubtedly experienced my work; you would have to dig through the back of the textbook to locate the paragraph, invariably set in 6-point mouse type, to find my name listed along with 25 other illustrators. I did thousands of illustrations for all the major textbook publishers: Houghton Mifflin, Brown, Scholastic, Harcourt/Brace, etc.

Just FYI, If you ever travel back in time and need to call Brian, he’s extension 61.

As a child of the 80s, I no doubt saw some of your illustrations! Unfortunately, I didn’t steal any textbooks to allow me to go back and check now. Can you tell us about the Infocom Graphics group, what was done when you arrived and what was not? How did it get started?

There was never any Infocom Graphics Group per se. Infocom author and interactive text game-designer Mike Berlyn hired Dan Horn, an Atlanta-based, experienced computer gamer, and myself in late 1982 to design Infocom’s first graphics game. We were sort of like the company’s skunk works; nobody knew what we were doing, least of all us. Mike was our manager and his first assignment was for us to go play computer games for six months so that we could learn what an actual, re-playable game was. We met weekly to discuss learnings. At around the six-month mark Mike decided it was time for Dan and me to produce some graphical game concepts, most probably to justify our existence.

How did development of Fooblitzky get started?

My first idea for a graphics game was of a huge, unwieldy, ill-defined meta game supported by six smaller, simpler games that required solving before gaining access to the big meta-thingie. What ultimately became Fooblitzky was at first one of those six smaller games, a computerized scavenger hunt involving stores and collectable items. During my presentation, composed of just Mike, Dan and myself, Mike allowed me enough rope to hang myself by trying to explain the meta mess. Once I proved I had no idea of the scope of what I was proposing, Mike looked at Dan and me and said, paraphrasing, “See that scavenger hunt? That’s your game.”

So I had a direction. Using the same blue-lined graph paper we all used in fifth grade science class, I mocked up a crude gameboard showing sidewalks, stores and items to be collected. We rolled Monopoly dice and moved around the board, keeping rough notes on who bought what. It must’ve shown some potential as a multi-player, family-oriented computer board game, of which there were few on the market at the time. But it had to be more Infocom-weird.

A “Koala Pad”, courtesy of Wikimedia commons. Uploaded by Nynexman4464.

What happened next? How did the team come together?

Up until that point in early 1983, I was producing near unintelligible computer graphics on a Koala pad with stylus and no printable output. Then Infocom management showed up with something called a “Macintosh”, a pre-release, 128K Apple prototype, intended for use in the development of future Infocom products. Mouse-driven, with both word processing and graphics programs, Mike recognized what it could be and soon appropriated it for my graphical use only. It did not take long to master both MacWord and MacPaint and I was soon producing graphics with supporting text for our weekly meetings, demonstrating what this computerized scavenger hunt might look and play like. It was at this point that one of Infocom’s original founders, Marc Blank, began to occasionally join the graphics meetings, most probably at Mike’s urging. 

In the meantime, Mike began inviting a couple of different subject experts to our weekly graphics meetings. Poh C. Lim, an MIT graduate and software engineer at Infocom, was added to begin the conversion of my Macintosh graphics files into a format acceptable to Infocom’s proprietary, virtual ZIL-machine compiler. Poh soon became an almost full-time member of the still-informal graphics group, providing not only deep technical support but also many different game suggestions and improvements. Brian Moriarty, a former tech editor at ANALOG Computing and combination tech editor/game designer at Infocom, also joined the group for our weekly meetings; while his principal function seemed to be to remind us every week of how stupid we were to be designing a graphics game in an interactive text gaming company, Brian’s long background in computer gaming often proved invaluable in keeping the game’s design and implementation on track.

If this is composed of reused tiles, I sure can’t tell. 

[ Ed Note: You can read about Brian Moriarty’s ANALOG career and his first game published in that magazine here. ]

What was Poh Lim’s role on the development team?

It was Poh who first understood and articulated the need to establish a limit on the graphics used to produce the scavenger hunt. Otherwise it would grow too large and slow for the mainframe-based ZIL graphical compiler to be able to digest and convert into Apple II, IBM PC and Atari-compatible software. If memory serves me, I was given 240 separate and distinct blocks (8×8 pixels? Not sure.) to use to illustrate, color and animate the entire game. For instance, a single black block could be used a thousand times to outline the four-quadrant gameboard, the multiple iterations of the animated dog, the 18 different store items, the Chanceman and so on and the compiler would still recognize and count all those things as being comprised of only a single, black block. To a degree, that explains the game’s blocky look and feel; the entire thing is built on a grid.

As the game took further shape, mid-to-late 1983, and Poh was able to preview online the most basic functions using my Macintosh illustrations – gameboard, stores, spinning game wheel, animated items and animated dog, etc. – weekly graphics meeting became important in fleshing out the actual gameplay. I’d come up with the game’s concept and look/feel but the gameplay itself needed more fun, more randomness, maybe even some strategy. Which is where the addition of Marc and Brian to our group of Mike, Dan, Poh and myself became so valuable; the Chanceman, crosswalks, the falling piano, UGH, bumping, lockers, pawn shops and more elements of chance all came careening out of this collective group. Marc came up with the name Fooble to describe the game’s coins and eventually named the game Fooblitzky. 

Oh yes. We know all about Cornerstone. *shudder*

How did the development of Cornerstone affect what you were doing and how it was released?

Other internal projects, including Infocom’s answer to Lotus Software’s groundbreaking 1-2-3 spreadsheet software, named Cornerstone, continued pulling at Mike’s time and he began to back out of the babysitting portion of managing Fooblitzky. Jon Palace was hired to project manage the graphics project as well as other ongoing interactive text projects. By this time, I knew what Fooblitzky was and I knew what was required, from a graphics POV, to finish it; just keep drawing. Jon joined our weekly graphics meetings and his scheduling discipline became important to helping keep development on track. 

You’ve mentioned Mike Berlyn, Marc Blank, and Poh Lim, but there is a fourth person credited for Fooblitzky. How did Paula Maxwell come to join the team?

In very early 1984, I was able to hire Paula Maxwell to help with the game’s animation. Her responsibility was to complete animations I’d begun, using a rough style guide for direction. Paula worked in the graphics group for about six months and then decided to return to her native California.

By mid/late-1984 we had a fingers-crossed finish date for development of Fooblitzky of December 1984. I’d mocked-up a prototype of the game box and worksheets, shown them to Mike, Marc and the group and, with their approval released it to Carl Genatossio, Infocom’s Creative Director, for production. A rough cut of the game was in Testing for debugging and it had been previewed with Public Relations and the senior interactive writer’s group. “Doubtful” was the word I think best described their puzzled reaction. In late 1984 I was unexpectedly laid off. Graphical work on Fooblitzky stopped. 

That is unexpected! Do you know how the game was finished?

In 1985, I was hired back as an independent contractor to finish the remaining Fooblitzky graphics and animations. January and February are what it took I believe. Mike had, at that point I think, left the company.

Original Fooblitzky box for the PC

The launch of Fooblitzky was strange– mail order-only for the first six month. Leaked sales records suggest it may have sold only sold 500 copies that way. (It sold more later.) Do you know anything else about the release?

I had no input into the game’s production, release, and distribution. It would not strike me as silly to find that Carl had 500 boxes printed and management put minimum effort into trying to sell them in order to clear warehouse shelf space.

I later heard anecdotally through Infocom friends that the development of Cornerstone had far outgrown anyone’s estimate for time, budget, and headcount required to finish. And that all non-mission-critical internal projects had to end in order to get Cornerstone out the door. Just company gossip.

What have you been up to since then?

I returned to my core expertise in late 1985, what was once called “commercial art”. I held a variety of positions involving illustration, graphic design and art direction. Eventually I moved into management, spending 10 years at Digital Equipment and culminating in five years as Director of Marketing Services at relational database manufacturer Sybase, then one of the 10 largest software manufacturers in the U.S.

I am fortunate to have a wonderful 43-year marriage to my wife Joel. We have 2 great kids and are starstruck daily by our four granddaughters, two of whom live in Seattle and two locally in Ipswich; the latter pair I fruitlessly attempt to provide daycare for. Fooblitzky was a breeze compared to these two. 

This is amazing! Thank you for sharing your story.

Brian really does find unique character in his art.

I want to thank Brian for spending as much time as he did talking with us. Reading over our conversation for the first time was like turning on a light into an otherwise unknown portion of Infocom history. There is a lot here to digest, but it’s clear that Brian had a much larger role in the development of the game than is popularly understood. Perhaps we can have a follow-up interview with Mike Berlyn in a few months, if he is interested, especially as we have now played all of his adventure games except 1997’s Zork: The Undiscovered Underground. You can find (and purchase!) Brian’s work at his website, BrianCody.com as well as his Zazzle store.

Up next for me will be Dave Lebling’s Spellbreaker, our last Infocom game of 1985. That should be a lot of fun.

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/interview-with-brian-cody-co-creator-of-fooblitzky/

[sophdlpaz]

LIVE

Three weeks ago, two good friends of mine passed away.

Zharmai was my first bestfriend in St. Scho. We were classmates from Grade 1-5 and we were inseparable during those times, almost literally. We were always together during break time, we were always next to each other in our lines. We had common clubs together. 

She lived in San Mateo and at that time, there weren’t any landlines yet in their area. When my dad had that ice shaver-looking cellphone, I always asked for his permission to use it so I can call Zhai. There were a few times when I got to go to their house, of course with my mom (I just can’t recall the occasion). Feeling ko kasi sobrang layo na ng bahay niya kaya paminsan-minsan lang ako makapunta. 

We kind of drifted apart in high school, probably because we didn’t belong to the same sections anymore (except in 4th year). We had different sets of friends/barkadas but we remained to be good friends. I do remember inviting her at my house when I celebrated my 14th birthday. She managed to mingle with my new barkada and we even had studio pics taken together. (We went to Robinsons Metro East after having our meal at home.) She was even the one who encouraged me to join the Glee Club on our last year (and fortunately, I was accepted, even got in the core group, represented the school in a competition, and won).

Zhai was like a perfect package of talent and wit. I can recall waiting for her in Gate 1 while she took her piano lessons across the street. She also had been associated with Glee Club ever since. And she won the graduation song writing contest (of course, we sang her song during our HS graduation). She managed to be always one of the top students in class. I remember we were 2 of the 5 students selected for a Math training or something when we were in Grade 4 or 5, haha. What the eff, nerds haha. And she was always elected as the president of her class when we were in HS. Fast forward, Zhai successfully became a lawyer and I heard she took high-profile cases. She had almost everything!

On top of that, she had been a great friend. I can’t recall a major fight that we had when we were young. We didn’t have like a pet name or something but when we grew older, we decided to call each other “poop”, I don’t know why, hahaha. Very classy, right? Hahaha. I also remember, she was our designated make-up artist in Glee Club when we were already doing the competition. And just recently, I was able to consult her for some legal stuff before she had her Euro trip.

After that trip, she got sick and eventually diagnosed with leukemia. Her doctor and family already came up with her treatment plan. Everything was like under control. She was still fine when she was confined until her throat got constricted; she had trouble breathing. She needed to be sedated so she can be intubated. She was transferred to the ICU. She had five cardiac arrests. Three days after knowing about her illness, Zhai died.

Mares was one of my kabarkadas in Kadacingko (yeah, we had that clingy phase, even naming our barkada haha.) (Kadacingko because our anniversary is November 5 hahaha, get it? We had a barkada name, a barkada notebook where we wrote to update each of us about our lives haha, and a barkada bag that each of us should use for a week). Our whole barkada was formed in our first year class (I - St. Rose of Lima). I don’t really remember the time when we just decided to hang out with each other, haha. But I do know we were all groupmates for a certain English play project. The portrayal of the life of San Lorenzo Ruiz was assigned to us and we had to have practices even on weekends. But the most memorable rehearsal we had was in Kish’s house (That was when I met my first boyfriend. Anywaaaaaayyyy...) Since then, we were always together. There’s this small mall across our school (We call it S’Mall, witty right?) and we go there just to hang out in Mcdo. Actually, we weren’t allowed to go there in our uniforms but we were badass like that. (Weird lang kasi oorder lang kami ng same food and just sit there. But that’s how we defined “tambay” that time.) 

I also remember making Mares as my “messenger”, hahahaha shet. She lived in the same village as my then-boyfriend and since we couldn’t see each other often (bawal pa kong magboyfriend that time, pasaway haha), we wrote letters to each other, what the fuck hahaha. And so I asked Mares the favor to hand my letters to him and v.v. Mares was so supportive, right? Hahaha.

Mares went to La Salle and I to ADMU in college. The whole barkada didn’t have time to see each other during these years but I do remember Mares teasing me in her Friendster testimonial that I will be her COO when she becomes the CEO/Chairman of her own company. We rarely talked to each other but she still managed to bully me hahaha (because we went to rival schools).

Mares and I weren’t really that close in the barkada. I mean, we were a lot in the group so you get to be closer to just at least one of them. Pero siya karamay ko sa mga kalokohan. I remember it was just the two of us who got ear bridge piercings but we had to remove them when we were in school because bawal. When we had our vacation in Pangasinan when Elaine went home from US, we drank liquor like it was water. We had fun caving adventures and cliff divings. She was like the epitome of YOLO x Young, Wild, and Free. She was really carefree at that time.

Then on the year of 2013, Mei, Mares, Wyn, and I went to Eastwood to hang out and have dinner. That was the time when Mares mentioned that she was feeling something bulging on her neck. We told her to have it checked. A few months after, Kish, Kish’s then-partner, Mares, and I went to have drinks. Mares was already wearing a scarf that time. The bulge became bigger and Kish (med student that time) said that it was inflammed. We didn’t think that it was a big of a deal. We were even planning our next Young, Wild, and Free session. Then she dropped the bomb a few days after. She messaged us on Twitter that she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. But she said that it’s the curable type so there’s nothing to be worried about.

Mares had this 180-degree turn in her life. She became more spiritually addicted. When I was suffering from depression in  2013-2014, she never “left” me. She was making me strong spiritually; she let me hold on to her and to God. That was when my friendship with Mares became deeper. She then invited me to join The Feast and that was when my life changed altogether. Even if she was sick, she managed to attend sessions with me, served in a couple of the ministries there. She was just too spiritually pumped up. In 2014 or early 2015, our prayers were answered; she had partial remission. 

November 2015, I was attending the Kerygma Conference and at that time, Mares just got home from her trip to Japan. She told me that she was coughing with blood. I told Kish (already a doctor at that time) about it and she said that wasn’t a good sign. It turned out that she had a relapse; her tumor became bigger, affecting her lungs. She went through chemo sessions but the tumor was really aggressive. I remember she was advised by the doctor to take another round of chemo with higher dosage of meds but she declined. She took alternative treatments; she just didn’t want to give up, she wanted to be well. Starting 2016, she was in and out of the hospital. She had several debridement operations for her chest wound. She always had difficulties in breathing. There was this time, I think that was August or September in 2017 when I visited her in the hospital with Wyn. I let her speak to Kish on the phone. Afterwards, I asked Kish about her thoughts and she gave Mares about two more months to live. She fought and stayed a bit more. That’s how strong and brave Mares was.

On the night of October 21, I got a call from Jyl, one of my Glee clubmates in HS. We haven’t talked to each other for a long time so I found it odd. She told me about Zhai and we agreed to visit her when Zhai’s condition becomes stable. After three hours, she called me again but since I was already sleeping, I missed her call. I got my phone and read a message from Mares’ ate saying that she passed away. I forgot to give a return call to Jyl because I was already grieving on Mares’ death but she messaged to tell me that Zhai also passed away. I felt like I was splashed with ice cold water on my face. I just didn’t know what to feel anymore at that time. What the fuck, really, I just lost two friends in one night?! I was like, “REALLY GOD?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?”

And maybe the message that God was trying to relay to me was: LIVE.

Take care of your body. I realized the value of healthy eating and exercise even more. I know I owe myself and my family good health. Everything sounds cliche but it pays to have that kind of discipline. I take so much effort to undergo IF and take regular runs and workouts. As much as possible, I resist taking sodas, sweets, instant food, and fastfood. I still wanna bear a child (if God permits) and have enough strength to carry him/her. I still wanna work for my family. I need to have that same level of energy as I take more loads of work (full time + part time combined). I don't want to be a burden to my family; I don't want them to incur so much costs if I acquire a major illness. I still wanna live longer.

Take care of your heart. What happened to Mares hit our whole barkada really hard. Most of my kabarkadas are doctors and nurses and it's really difficult for us to find time to meet. And while we don't get to see each other, we drifted apart even more. It was only Mares (and her condition) that was like binding us. Then Wyn left this message in our group chat, "Give time for each other no matter what." And I totally agree. It also hit me hard as an ate and daughter because I rarely make time for my family to like really bond. I usually go out or sleep, having less interaction with them. I would reason out that my work is too tiring and that I need some time off outside or some rest. But thinking about it, why am I not making time for the very reasons why I'm working my ass off? Everything will be completely nonsense. I usually make time for my friends but I must also make sure that I spend some of my time too with my family.

Take care of your mind and soul. I was really having a depressive mood that time. On that particular Sunday, I just stayed in, didn’t serve in Sunday school and didn’t hear mass. I didn’t have the energy to give my best at work that week. But then, I was like, what the fuck?! Mares and Zhai were both struggling to breathe and live a bit longer while I was sulking in thoughts resulted from too much negative thinking, making me more depressed. I was fucking wasting my days away. More bad stuff continued to rattle me after their death. I took time to absorb and cried over them. I know people said it's okay to not be okay sometimes but I think I had too much of that already. I needed to pick myself up. I have to be mentally tough or else I may not survive another day. I went back to God, said a major apology prayer for drifting so far away from Him. I didn't have Mares anymore to share my fears so I knew I had no choice but to turn to Him again. Even though I still feel sad, I can feel that my heart is at peace because I know I made better decisions now for myself.

As they say, life's fucking tough. But I've proven so many times that I'm tougher. I can't waste another day. I have to live.