#brain barf time

[musings-of-a-crazed-musician]

why doesn't anyone care about art anymore. the music program at my college is dying much faster than i thought. they dont seem to care about the parts of humanity that are so frequently taken for granted.

do people not still hum to themselves? draw stick figures? do little dances when they're alone? are people so caught up in the disappointments of the world that they forget to enjoy it? enjoy beauty?

have we lost our conception of beauty? now that ai is taking all the arts from us we should appreciate the beaty of real art but we don't. we are so caught up in hating the things that are bad art but we don't appreciate the things that are good art.

and its killing the people that actually create it.

[acetyzias]

happy pride month to these objectively gay and lesbian characters from media i like

[lighthouseshepard]

feels like. most of the past few months have just been me waiting in drs offices alone hoping for answers or a solution that will stick. and it sucks

[0verclocked]

1994, 2001, and 2018

"But OG ReBoot has crappy and scary 90's CGI amirite?"

[qqqqqqqqqqq0]

i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately

[theoldaeroplane]

While certainly a portion of my exhaustion after work has to do with needing to build up the endurance to be on my feet all day, having to learn lots of new things, and not getting quite enough sleep, these things on their own don't fully explain the sheer distress I find myself in during the evening upon coming home.

That's rooted in a recognition of how there is just no part of me left over after making myself be out and around people and noise for the better part of my day. Not only do I not have the energy to tackle the myriad little chores one has to handle to simply keep up with life, there is just no fuel in me to draw or write or even hang out with friends, or do any of the things I consider crucial for making my life feel worth getting through. I recognize it because it's the same thing I went through at both my old jobs, which were less physically demanding. Here be dragons: the meltdown might be far off, but it is coming.

Knowing this about myself is hopeful, because it means I can try to head it off. Knowing I can't both work a "normal" job and be satisfied with my life in the long term is a really important discovery, even if it kind of sucks to learn. And I even know why it happens; my brain is simply not built to handle stimuli the same way most people's are. Autism, baybee!

The interviews I've managed to land for jobs that would not do this to me have gone very well and I'm hopeful I'll make it to the next phase for each. I'm a little worried if I don't get either simply because it's so hard to marshal myself to do anything after work, much less things I don't want to do, like send out job applications. Case in point: my taxes still aren't done and they are due tomorrow. Whoops!

In the meantime I guess I just have to strugglebus best I can. Once the paychecks start properly rolling in I'm sure that will help to some degree, as I can offload a few things more easily that would otherwise take a lot of spoons, like preparing food. And I'll eventually build up a physical endurance for the (pretty light) demands of this job. It's a pity I can't build up a similar mental endurance.

[lunex-the-cat]

Thankful Vs. Appreciate

To me there there's a huge difference between the words 'thankful' and 'appreciate'. Despite technically being very similar in use/the feeling they should be, they feel so different.

Thankful is something that someone tells you should be. It's a word that feels tainted by being shoved at us, and instead of its actual meaning of being thankful for what's around you, it feels rooted in guilt.

Thankful is both feeling guilty that you have so much when others have less as well as guilt for not saying constant thanks and being humble that you have it.

Appreciate, though, feels more genuine. Looking at the thing for what it is and not just because you know that other people don't have it but because it truly is a great, pleasant, and wonderful thing to exist in your life and time.

I realized after I had this thought process that sometimes, when people do something for me I say 'appreciated' instead of thank you because to me, it emphasizes how much an action means to me.

Thank you is polite but has less meaning, what with it being an everyday pleasantry. Appreciated is direct acknowledgment that you see the action and how it helps.

(Not to say that I don't use thank you in the same way and mean it. It is a good word, but appreciated feels just more to me)

[star-ocean-peahen]

hi 😅

[once-was-muses]

anonymous | Misc. Asks

KIRBY you have to tell us the other four killers you main pls 👀🎤

[ I MEANT TO PUT. THREE (3). orz fbhfjdjdjd but they’re Carmina, Dr.edge, and Talbot- granted the latter most is Very New to me and I'm still practicing that thang ]

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

little update because i need to rant and the person i normally rant to about stuff like this is at school

(warning for animal death mention, animal sickness, parents)

the kittens went outside friday night and have been out since then. already lost spike (she probably froze but we haven’t been able to find her) and have had a few close calls with sylvester playing too rough with them. this morning i went out to let them out of the cage (they get put in when someones driving out of the garage so they dont get run over) and everyone was fine. went out about an hour ago 

i thought barf had frozen. she was stiff and didn’t look Alive. decided i was going to take ed and mulch inside no matter what my parents said. then i saw barf move. i picked her up and she was barely breathing. so i put her in my shirt and took all three of them inside. 

put mulch and ed in the cage and put some food and water in with them then went to look for a heating pad for barf. she’s warm now and i think she’s going to be alright. might have brain damage but that’s something i can hopefully work with. 

ended up calling mom before i started looking for the heating pad because she used to work at a vet’s office and i thought she’d be able to help. she told me to bring them inside and work on schoolwork. just because they were inside didn’t mean i got to ‘play with them’. even though i told her barf was nearly frozen. so i’m just really. exhausted

[mutalune]

Hey there

I don’t know you and I understand you never asked for an Opinion or anything

But I saw your post on waking up with 0 pain

I’m a doctor, and I’ve been treating a patient for several months now

Several weeks ago was the first time in months they slept through the night without painkillers

They got like super excited but the next night was painful again

However, a couple weeks later we had a painless night again

Then again and again and you get where I’m going

It’s like in True Detective, if you ask me - the light’s winning

Again, I don’t know you, but I wanted you to hear from a random tumblr weirdo that there’s the potential for you to get better, whatever it is you’re going through

Every time you feel okay will add up to a massive number of okays and then it’ll become your norm

I can’t promise that, but it’s quite very possible

first off thank you for wanting to spread a bit of hope, I think that’s very kind of you and I appreciate it very much 💕

second off I love hearing from random tumblr weirdos (I’m just generally god awful at answering messages and miss notifications) so thank you for that as well

I’m def trying to straddle the line between “stay hopeful and have faith that things may get better, keep trying” and “things might never get better, I may need to adjust my lifestyle to support that, AND I can still live life and find joy”, because I think both can and need to be true. I’m gonna keep trying, and I’m also gonna do my best to be kind to my body for doing its best, ya know?

Sending love to you and your patient - that’s such an accomplishment to be having more okay-days after a long time of having none, and I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that your patient continues to stack up those okay days 💕

[ihavehatsinmypants]

Trimax Vash and Stampede Vash talking about home and the people there, similarities and differences:

Max: Luida is looking lovely as ever. So tell me, did you two-ya know- the one time after that welcome home party and you two where really drunk and things got a little heated...

Stampede, horrified: you fucked our mom...

Max, equally horrified: SHE'S YOUR WHA-

----

Max: Your Brad is definitely older than the one I got back home

Stampede: oh yeah? He was part of the original seeds crew

Max: no way!!! No wonder he looks old enough to be your dad

Stampede: well actually...

[mrstrkidontfeelsogood]

fuck! I'm relapsing. and I know what the fuck is happening and I don't want to relapse but I have this fucking problem where I think that I don't deserve friends or love or any sort of affection unless something is wrong with me or if I'm actually dying because then there's urgency and there's a Valid Need for attention. I deep down don't think that I'm worth being around unless I'm "Sick" and pls help me get out of this mindset.

I literally can feel my ed crawling back and I like the feeling of it but I know it makes me really sick and I can't afford to relapse right now I have so many important things happening. Every time I start to get close to people or let people in I can feel it come back because I genuinely don't like myself so much that Im scared other people won't like me either so I make myself "sick" (in ed anorexic behaviors) so that people will care about me. otherwise there's no reason for them to stick around.

Why is all my value in my weight and what my body looks like. I hate this. deeply. I want out.

[the-kipsabian]

.

[bratzbrat]

ΝϴͲᎬ: seems like y'all like my brain barfs that I type out on a whim, more than the literal world I created, with lore n' shit and an entire plot line... so here... have katsuki & you out shopping.

.・゜-: ✧ :-　　Drabble-day! Katsuki Bakugo!

Katsuki loves making a spoil brat out of you. so when you caught sight of a beautiful pair of Louis V sneakers, your gaze lingering a moment too long as you admired the sleek design and color, and tore your eyes away, already dismissing them as too pricey.

he noticed. he watched the way your eyes sparkled at them, not the price tags, and the tiny smile you couldn't quite suppress, that made him feel like a giddy lovesick boy again. he'd caught onto this pattern the first few times he took you out, and by now, he knew exactly what to do.

"don't want 'em?" he asked, looking at the little sparkle in your eyes.

"just thought they were cute, is all."

he side eyed you, but didn't answer.

"kats? where're you going?" you followed behind him.

"just looking around for somethin'," he muttered, waving you off.

so you wandered around the store a little more too, distracted by a few more items that caught your eye. there was this cute little handbag, a gorgeous scarf, and a bracelet that you imagined would look nice for a night out. you were lingering over each item a little longer than you meant to.

"kats! look, they have this purse in black!" you called, holding it up as he looked your way, then placed it back in it's position on display.

after a few minutes, he walked up to you and leaned over your shoulder, "got everything?" he rasped with a smirk, knowing full well you didn't.

"hmm?" you looked up at him. with that same stupid smile plastered on your face, as you were just happy about getting to spend time with your boyfriend.

"nothin'." he smirked. and made his way back to the cashier counter. as you passed the cashier, they bagged up the scarf, bracelet, and purse you'd also been staring at...

"Katsuki!" you whispered, pulling him down so you could reach his ear, "what's all this?"

"everything my girlfriend wants..." he replied, shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I didn't tell you if I wanted anything..." you raised a brow, looking between him and cashier.

"didn't have to." he shrugged again, "saw ya' lookin' at 'em."

"you—... you can't just buy everything I look at..." you protested, as your cheeks flushed.

Katsuki smirked, leaning down again to murmur in your ear, "watch me."

like fantasy and bakugo? if u're here then u obvi's like x reader's so read The Witch Hunter!

©𝐵𝑙𝑢♡

[hihomeghere]

Fakin' it | Arthur Morgan/Reader

Word Count : 3k Summary : After a botched robbery, Arthur and you take refuge in a hotel, hiding from the O'Driscolls outside your door. When they do decide to search for you two, how will you throw them off your track? Warnings/Tags : Enemies to lovers <3, unprotected piv sex, guns, cursing, reader has female gentailia, fingering, one bed, fake marriage

Of course the job that went bad had to be with Arthur. Why Dutch had put you two together was beyond you. Everyone around the gang knew that it was volatile anytime you two were together. But, you were cunning, quick minded in a pinch. Arthur was strong, easily able to take down a man twice his size, not that someone of that caliber came along often. To put it simply, you were the brains, he was the brawn. As much as you hated to admit, you made a good team on jobs. This time however, a simple robbery had turned into dozens of O’driscolls around every corner. You two had barely made it into a hotel unscathed. 

“One room.” Arthur said, setting down some coins on the table top as you watched the door. Your hand resting against your gun in your dress pocket.

“Name?” The man asked with a smile.

“Callahan.” Arthur said looking back at you. “Mr. and Mrs. Callahan.” He said, turning back to the clerk. You heard footsteps outside of the hotel, you turned quickly grabbing Arthur’s arm.

“Sweetheart.” You cooed, internally cringing as you called him by that name. You looked at him with wide eyes, “Come on.” You said with a nervous smile.

“We’re newlyweds, a bit excited if you can’t tell.” He chuckled, turning back to the clerk, his arm wrapping around your waist.

“Of course.” The clerk said with a knowing smile, you wanted to barf as Arthur squeezed your waist. “Up the stairs to the left.” He said, handing Arthur a key.

“Much appreciated.” Arthur said his hand on the small of your back as you two climbed the stairs. As soon as you turned the corner you nearly ran to the door, Arthur slid the key in the lock and turned it, ushering you inside. As soon as the door was closed behind you, he was locking it just as fast. 

Once you got in the room you moved away from Arthur’s side, letting out a sigh as you looked around the room. One bed, of course, you two were acting as a couple.

“Mr. and Mrs. Callahan, really?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as you turned to look at Arthur. 

“Less eyes on us if we’re a couple, not cause I wanna play house with you.” He said with a grunt, barely raising his head to look at you. He walked over to the bed, moving to take his boots off.

“Less eyes.” You scoffed, looking around the room, walking over to the window. You pulled the blinds back, peeking out to the streets below. 

“The hell you think you're doing?” Arthur hissed, his hand wrapping around your wrist.

“Looking.” You said glaring up at him. “Is that a crime?”

“Do you want to give away our position?” He growled, his eyes dark.

“I think it’s pretty damn clear we’re in one of these shops, now we have to wait it out until they’re gone.” You said pulling away your arm from his grasp. He let out a deep breath, his jaw clenched as he looked away from you.

“How many are out there?” He asked, holding his hat as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know, maybe a dozen?” You said crossing your arms.

“Dutch said to keep a low profile,” He muttered to himself, “We can’t go out there guns blazing.” He said, setting his hat down on the bedside table. 

“That’s obvious.” You said, shaking your head. He scoffed, looking up at you.

“Are you trying to piss me off, or is that just one of your special talents?” Arthur said glaring at you.

“Oh I have lots of talents.” You say, stepping closer a scowl on your face. 

“If only one of them was keeping your mouth shut.” He growled. 

“God, what is your problem?” You huff looking away from him.

“My problem?” He scoffs getting up from the bed. “You’re my problem." He said, his chest almost touching yours as you looked up at him.

“Feelings mutual.” You huff, glaring up at him. He clenched his jaw, shaking his head as you walked away from him. 

“We’re gonna have to wait it out.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“The hell are we gonna do?” You asked throwing your hands up. 

“I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna take advantage of this bed.” He said laying back down on the bed, placing his hat over his face. You bit your cheek looking at him as he crossed his legs. He did have a point, the bed looked a whole lot softer than your cot back at camp. You mulled it over for a second before sitting down on the edge of the bed. You unlaced your boots, laying back on the bed. Your eyes quickly drew heavy, the adrenaline of the chase finally wearing off. 

The sun was setting when you woke up, the light slowly disappearing behind the horizon. The room was quiet except for Arthur’s breathing. You sat up in bed, looking over at him. His hat had fallen off his face when he rolled over sometime during his sleep. He looked so peaceful when he slept, it was like seeing a completely different side of him. It’s at this moment you really appreciate how beautiful Arthur truly is. The bridge of his nose is high, broken one too many times. His plump lips parted slightly, like two petals. His sandy brown hair falling over his forehead. 

You wanted to reach out and move it out of his face, but thought better of it. You didn’t want to disturb him and it wasn’t often that you saw him without a furrowed brow. 

Just as you were laying back down you heard heavy footsteps up the stairs. By your guess, four, maybe five men. You sit up quietly, feeling your heart pound against your rib cage. Arthur sprang up in bed as soon as they kicked open the first door. They must have turned right when they went up the stairs. The yell of shock sounded farther down the hall. He turned to you, his eyes wide. He reached for his gun belt on the floor but you stopped him. Your brain was running through all the situations. Four or five men, sure you and Arthur could take them, but that’s not exactly a low profile. 

Against your better judgment you picked the solution with the least amount of bloodshed. You swung your leg over Arthur’s waist.

“The hell are you doing-“ Arthur hissed before you covered his mouth with your hand. Your fingers started working on the buttons of your blouse as you rolled your hips forward. Arthur looked up at you with a wide eyed expression, his bright eyes frantically moving between his gun belt on the floor and the door. His stubble lightly scratched your palm as you held your hand over his mouth, his plump lips almost kissing your palm.

You forced a high pitched moan as you moved your hips faster on the bed, the bedframe hitting the wall. Creating the illusion you two were having sex.

The gears slowly started to turn in Arthur’s mind, his hands gripping your hips as he propelled you faster. The bedframe was now rocking against the wall, as you pulled your arms out of your blouse, leaving your chest bare. Your nipples hardened from the cold air as goosebumps sprung up on your skin. Arthur’s eyes were closed as he turned his head, forcing a low groan. Although you knew his groans were fake, the way his body reacted to your touch was more than real. You kept up with your moans, trying to put on a good enough show.

The door was soon forced open, as two O’Driscolls entered  the room with their guns raised. You scream, Arthur is quick to pull your chest down to his. You were pressed tight against him, his warm hands keeping you flush against him, all of him. His work shirt rubs against your nipples in such a fucking delicious way, it doesn’t help tbe adrenaline coursing through your veins. You can’t see anything, your head buried into Arthur’s neck, his stubble now rubbing against your cheek.

“Get the hell out of here!” Arthur yells, hidden by your upper half.

One of them clears their throat before exiting the room, closing the door behind them. You hold your breath waiting for their footsteps to retreat down the hallway. You let out a sigh of relief as they meet back up with the other men, walking down the stairs.

Hesitantly Arthur moves his hands off your back, you sit up covering your breasts with your arms. Arthur, however, was staring up towards the ceiling. His jaw clenched as he avoided looking at you.

You moved off of his waist, grabbing your blouse before slipping your arms through the sleeves. You buttoned it up, swallowing thickly as Arthur cleared his throat. 

“Now uh-“ Arthur said letting out a sigh, “I want you to know that I didn’t see nothin’.” The bed whines slightly as he stands up. 

“I know you felt something.” You said, shaking your head as you blush from head to toe. 

“Now-“ Arthur sighed, running a hand through his hair as you turned to face him, his eyes flicking around the room before settling at your feet as he held up his hand. “We can just pretend this never happened, it was a matter of life and death.”

“I understand that.” You looked at him, fully looked at him. His gaze was low, his chest rising and falling quickly, his cheeks flushed. God, he looks wrecked.

Your eyes trailed over his body as he stood there, his hand on his hip as he popped his knee out. Your eyes moved down further, almost popping out of your head as you see how painfully hard he is pressed against his pants. 

“Are you-“ The words fall out of your mouth before you can think to stop them.

“Jesus.” Arthur sighed looking down, his hand rubbing his eyebrows.

“You are.” A nervous chuckle leaves your mouth as your eyes trailed up and down his body. You felt heat begin to spread between your thighs as he met your eyes. Your heart is still pounding against your rib cage from the encounter with the O’Driscolls. 

“I’m-“ He started throwing his hands up, “I’m sorry, alright but you can’t expect me- I’m only a man.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

“Nothing to be ashamed-“ He cut you off, shaking his head, “There is plenty to be ashamed of, I shouldn’t be getting so… so worked up over you.” He said motioning to you. You couldn’t help that you were also getting worked up, you subtly rubbed your thighs together. Trying to get any friction where you needed it most. Heat bloomed in your stomach as the tension in the room only got worse. He furrowed his brows, studying you.

“Wait,” He chuckled, shaking his head, “You feel it too.” He said, crossing his arms.

You scoffed, looking off to the side. “You wish.” You said, hating the slight tremor in your voice. Arthur strode across the room, stopping in front of you. He reached towards you, tilting your chin so you would have to look at him. 

“Tell me you don’t want this.” He said softly, his other arm encircling your waist pulling you flush against him. You stayed silent, looking up into his blue eyes. Slowly a smirk worked its way onto his face, “That’s what I thought.” He chuckled, cupping your cheek. He leaned forward brushing his nose against yours. Giving you the option to pull away if you wanted, his eyes softening as he looked into yours. You took the plunge, capturing his lips against your own as you threaded your fingers through his hair.

A groan rumbled through his chest as his hand tightened around your waist. You felt dizzy as his lips moved against yours, his tongue swiping across your bottom lip. You opened your mouth allowing his access as he pressed into you deeper. He rubbed himself against you, his hips pressed against your lower belly. 

You pulled away, breathing hard as you looked up at him. His face was flushed, his mouth parted slightly as his chest rose and fell rapidly. You unbuttoned your blouse for the second time, just as feverishly as the first time, but now for a completely different reason. Arthur followed your lead, pushing his own suspenders down, his skillful fingers unbuttoning his own shirt. His eyes returned to your body as he ripped his shirt off of his shoulders, settling onto your breasts. He stared down at you, an almost predatory expression on his face. He closed the distance between you, his hand wrapping around your waist as the other kneaded your breast. You let out a soft gasp, which quickly turned to a moan as he ran his thumb over your perk nipple. 

“Arthur.” He stared down at you, his eyes darkening as he watched you shiver against him. He flipped you around, his hand pressing you down onto the bed. His other hand flipped your skirts up, before pulling down your underclothes. He let out a soft groan as his eyes connected with your almost dripping pussy.

“This all for me?” He cooed, swiping his finger through your folds. You gasped, nodding as your hands gripped the quilt. 

“Yes.” You breathed, “Yes all for you.”

“Good girl.” You could hear the smirk in his voice as he sunk a finger into your heat. You gasped as he slowly started pumping his finger inside of you. He leaned over you, his lips dangerously close to your ear. “Yeah you like that don’t you?” He said nibbling on your earlobe. Your breath hitched in your throat as he added another finger, scissoring them inside your walls.

“Fuck Arthur.” You melwed, pressing your forehead against the slightly scratchy quilt underneath you. “I need you.” You huffed, your walls clenching around his fingers.

“I’m gettin’ there.” He chuckled, pulling his finger out of you, you sighed at the loss. You could hear the rustling of clothing behind you, the distinctive metal on metal as you pulled off his belt. His warm calloused hands ran up your backside, gently spreading you before the head of his cock met your entrance. 

Jesus Christ he was big. 

He spit into his palm, pulling away as he spread his spit over the head of his cock. 

“What the hell is taking so long?” You asked impatiently, turning your head to look at him. His eyes met yours, a wicked grin on his face as he forcefully shoved his cock through your folds. It was like all the air had been knocked out of your lungs as you were propelled forward onto the bed. His hands pulled your hips back and speared you onto his dick. 

“Arthur!” You yelped, your fingers gripping the quilt as he thrust his pelvis flush to yours. 

“Christ woman.” He groaned, laying his forehead against your bare back. You moan as he pulls his hips back before thrusting back into you. “You sound even better when you ain’t faking it.” You can feel the chuckle rumble through his chest more than you can hear it as he speaks. 

“Arthur, Jesus." You pant, almost drooling over the way his cock hits that spot inside you over and over again. 

“Mmm.” He moans, tight lipped as he tilts his head back. You push back against him, meeting every one of his thrusts “Yeah, atta girl.” His praise only spurred you on, your thighs shaking as you pushed your ass against his pelvis. “You close?” He whispered, his warm hand moving down your thigh between your legs. His thumb circling your clit was enough to send you over the edge. You were grateful your upper half was supported by the plush bed as your legs gave out under you. A high pitched moan worked its way out of your chest as you all but collapsed on the bed. Your walls fluttered around him, milking his cock. 

“Shit.” He panted his breath fanning on your back as his forearms caged you in, his hips stuttering as he released his seed inside you. He groaned, resting his forehead against your back as he collapsed on you. His sweaty chest sticking against your back. He pulled out of you, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He whispered. 

“S’okay.” You said breathing hard, his cum seeping down your thighs. He kissed down your spine, his hand lovingly squeezing your hips. 

He grabbed a towel from the dresser, cleaning your thighs off. 

“Who would have thought you’d known about aftercare.” You chuckle softly, your heart rate slowly coming back to normal.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me sweetheart.” He huffs, a small smirk on his face as he tucked himself back into his pants. He reached down, pulling your bloomers back up over your hips. 

“Oh yeah?” You chuckled, grabbing your blouse as he grabbed his shirt off the floor.

“Yeah, Mrs. Callahan.” He smirked walking towards you, buttoning his shirt as he stood in front of you. You rolled your eyes, buttoning your blouse. He wrapped his hand around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

“You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it.” He said, his hand trailing down your jaw. 

“Alright, fine. Mr. Callahan.” You huffed, a blush covering your cheeks as you rested your hands against his broad chest. 

“Next time,” He tightened his grip on your hips, his lips against your ear, “You’re riding me.”