#im so nervous im nauseous
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feels like. most of the past few months have just been me waiting in drs offices alone hoping for answers or a solution that will stick. and it sucks
#currently waiting to discuss the anxiety medication ive been on lately oh and also tmi warning cnencnnfn regarding My Brain#sorry ur all getting too much insight into my dumb stupid molecules probably#i just want to not feel like garbage all the time#and anxious and like im dying#and advocating for your own mental health is so hard#bc i KNOW this shit isn't working#it's been 3 months#and i feel only vaguely improved#but still bad overall#plus i keep losing weight bc i have no appetite#down like uhhh 35 lbs i think since this all started in may#and im always worried these ppl and doctors think im like#asking for a magic pill to fix everything but thats not the case at all#its not for lack of trying its brain chemistry and i know it is bc ive struggled with it my entire life#anways#hope i can get these thoughts across to the dr without like barfing#im so nervous im nauseous#i just wanna wake up and not have my chest hurt from the panic#tbd
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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IVE GOT ANOTHER INTERVIEW TOMORROW GUYS IM SCARED WISH ME LUCK CHAT
#EVERY TIME I HAVE AN UPCOMING INTERVIEW I GET SO NERVOUS I FEEL NAUSEOUS#i also need to get bloodwork done this week -_-#i keep forgetting 2 get my bloodwork done so im gonna force myself to do it either tomorrow or wednesday#whiskey yelling into the void
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girl i am falling apart 🥰💗💐✨🧘♀️
#why does anxiety have physical symptoms why did evolution fuck me so hard#yeah im nervous about this thing i have to do. luckily my entire body has gone into panic mode making the thing even worse#oh you have to be prepared because its a big deal? would being shaky and nauseous and unable to move make you feel better?
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please wish me luck and cast a little spell/send a prayer my way so that i can finally pass this exam 😮💨🙏
#phan#for the fandometrics and good luck#god im so nervous i feel nauseous as hell#witchblr#manifestation
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TANG BO..THE MAN THAT YOU ARE..
#im so nervous for his webcomic debut i just got nauseous a little..BE BEAUTIFUL BE BEAUTIFUL BE BEAUTIFUL#its making me jittery..what is he going to look like.. will they even show his face.. how tall was he compared to geomjon
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im just so fucking sad and scared all the time and its ruining my life
#i feel nauseous#shitpost#philosophy#memes#thoughts#writing#sadg#sadgirl#lyrics#like what do i do with me#i dont know what to do with me#thats a halsey lyric#security guards make me nervous#people in general really#im so sick of it#sick of myself#im so moppey ugh#maybe thats fine but i know too many people whod call me lazy and stupid for letting everything get to me so easily#i mean i had a shitty headache but#it got worse when security took my outside mfing alcohol#and the shame oh the shame#actually i thought that to myself while i walkednout the door#i feel a deep sense of shame#chronic shame#did you know thats a thing?#it fucking shouldnt be but what are you gona do#fucking christ and the one security guard who hit on me while i was breaking down in the library is walking around i wana kms#have a lit or really really really depressing funeral and done#i think my soul would be restless in the afterlife if i didnt have a worth while death#i want to have something thats worth dying over
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Gonna (hopefully) legally change my name
Pro : i get!!! To change my name!!!! And teachers will use the right one
Con : i have to ask my dad and im so nervous im sick. Asked my mum already she clearly doesn't wanna but if my dad is ok with it it'll get done
#transgender#nonbinary#i almost had a panic attack earlier and now i am nauseous#usually i resort to dissociating so im not that nervous? so its unusual and i dont like it#really really excited to get it changed i want to so bad
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F/O SAVE ME
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#is it normal that if i work part time in two facilities that. going to one of them makes me extremely fucking anxious#to the point of being nauseous. and the other doesn't#i am. so fucking nervous. lmao#its probably impostor syndrome speaking but knowing thats the case doesn't make it go away#man. i know to get experience you actually. have to work to get the experience. but i wish i was at the stage where i already have it#and know what im doing. and wgat and how im supposed to be doing it. i hate this#i shouldve picked a different field to specialize in
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i jst realized the teaser for ep 11 will be out in the morning...what will we see...
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i had an eye test done a few days ago and one of the tests gave me mad vertigo, it only lasted a few minutes but i still have a major headache and nausea and it flares up when i’m scrolling. obviously the answer is to get off my phone but it’s making me think of the march that shall not be named when i couldn’t look at fucking anything and ya girl is getting nervous
#i know its from the vertigo#i know#i just need to give it a few days and itll go away#but that march was literally the worst month of my life and i live in permanent fear of it#this is like 5% as bad as that so i know i need to just chill#but if it would just go away already thatd be very appreciated!!#side note guess who needs glasses ✌🏻#i have astigmatism which we been knew and my left eye is a bit weaker than my right which i also knew#but he didnt say anything about degeneration or anything even tho i emphasised that im always at home and always in the dark#so that was a little weight off my chest#but you know the big silver round thing they bring in front of your face that you rest your chin on#and they put the different lenses in and they ask one or two?#that spun me out something awful#i could only look through it for like a minute before i had to be like yo i cant do this#having my peripheral cut off just completely fucked me up#again it only lasted like five minutes#but still being nauseous and headachy is just making me nervous#i just need to remember it had an external cause and it will go away and theres nothing that suggests itll turn into another march#positive fucking attitude#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#chronic illness#dysautonomia
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#personal#i have doctors appt today with a new doctor its literally not even a real appointment i just need some stupid forms signed#but guys im so stressed im so scared ive already cried once about it today i just. i fucking hate doctors so so much#theyre all so bad. im not in the mood to be dismissed again today and its 15 goddamn degrees so everything feels bigger and worse than it is#if they dont sign the form i dont get paid any more and if i dont get paid i cant continue to try and sort out my medical#which means i continue to not get paid and im just. so scared. so so fucking scared i dont even care if we find the start if the path#to vetter my health i dont care about gettinf better right now i just need this fucking form signed but#ive already been dismissised for it once and i have new doctor jitters. what do you mean i have to tell someone new that#i have ptsd and anxiety and depression and fibro and alleged bpd but its probably autism actually and hope#hope and prey they losten to me because its other doctors that have told me this and im definitely computer illiterate i couldntve come up#with all this on my own i promise ive done zero research into my own symptoms i live with every day im a simpleton im an idiot#please believe me dr refer me to ypur colleagues for further testing but in the mwan time sign the one form i need please#im so scared. i dont know what to do. my tarot says to tryst myself and find my own authority about the situation#but like literally legally i cant i have to rely on the hope this new doctor gives her signature or i dont get fucking paid as stated#i hate this i feel so shaky and nervous and nauseous and awful 😮💨#and im supposed to do groceries today. im at the very end of my shopping like if i dont go get food today#then i dont eat tonight but its cold and rainy and im super stressed abt the appointment so idk if ill be able to go shopping after#i dont wanna die anymore but like rn i kinda do this is too much today feels like too much#help me im drowning
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im feeling so antsy i have like nothing that i specifically Have to do like yes i have to work on a fursuit but im missing something for it so i would have to wait either way so its ok to slow down on it (i at least sewed some parts today) and i got enough money for rent and all so i dont need to rush it so idk if its that but i also have a dentist appointment next week which might be the cause of me being so nervous because i Hate it there and i hate how its now gonna ruin my weekend cause im just gonna be thinking about it
#and thats just one thing i will have to come back for the actual stuff like im now only expecting a checkup maybe an xray#then i will have to get more dates and it will make me more nervous#i havent slept much the past 2 days not counting the nap i took today which was just fever dreams anyway#all i wanna do is eat but i was sick and everything i eat is making me feel weird again its a battle#also my gums are hurting which is. timing. but also im nervous about being told by the dentist about how shit my teeth are#i can only hope shes better now... and that the assistant wont lowkey make fun of me again#aand that i wont be too awkward with my misunderstandings#cant play the im a dumb minor card cause im twentyfiveteen#j. but you know. im extremely akward last time i was there she was asking me something and i just went huh? 4 times#never went to oovoo javer situation. i just had no idea what shes asking me#thoughts are being thunk#im not even gonna try to go to bed early today im just gonna stay up until i feel less nauseous cause i just kept waking up#but then my dogs will wake me up at 6am again so yay 3 hours of sleep
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oh yea i should do tlt updates shouldnt i
ok i will today if i remember to take pictures of the set before rehearsal (bc people are doin stuff on stage and i don wanna take pictures of ppl without their permission)
#marble musings#eeee very excited#and also very nervous#i am NOT going to survive next week that is a garuntee#like not by choice i just get really really nauseous when im nervous#at least im friends with a couple other actors so i wont like fully die in a hole alone :D
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i think a big plus of having Guz be so tall and just in general bigger than me is that I could sit in front of him with my back to his chest and have his arms wrapped around me and he could just hide me away from the world for a little while. he is my own personal brick wall fsdjkl a weighted blanket perhaps too,,
#so much softer than a brick wall ofc dsfkl but . just saying ''wall'' doesnt conjure up the mental image as well as ''brick wall''#my nervous system is absolutely shot fdsjkl i opened my other main account to check in with a couple ppl and got so nauseous and dizzy ;-;#idk what is wrong w meeee (well no i do sort of know but fjsdkl i dont know how to fix That so im pretending thats not the issue)#i was doing so well for a couple weeks too wtf 😭😭#thank god i have a counseling appt on monday dsjkl i think i very much need it#so many difficult things happened today now that i think about it fjksl i did Nawt have a rest day fdsjkl#i think ... tonight i will shut everything out and just draw or write or smth#just completely wrap myself up in creating stuff for a couple hours at least#i would like One hug from my man and perhaps ten minutes of deep pressure FDSJKL or just. feeling safe for a bit. agh. i've said too much#OVERWHELMED. THATS WHAT IM FEELING. AUGH. finally placed the feeling im having HFDSJKL#theres so many strings in my life and i have dropped quite a few over the holidays and i dont think i can pick them back up#like. idk how i ever held all of them wtf jfsdkl how was i doing that !!! theres so many goddamn strings to hold !!#vent //#dandy.cmd
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