#im so nervous im nauseous
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feels like. most of the past few months have just been me waiting in drs offices alone hoping for answers or a solution that will stick. and it sucks
#currently waiting to discuss the anxiety medication ive been on lately oh and also tmi warning cnencnnfn regarding My Brain#sorry ur all getting too much insight into my dumb stupid molecules probably#i just want to not feel like garbage all the time#and anxious and like im dying#and advocating for your own mental health is so hard#bc i KNOW this shit isn't working#it's been 3 months#and i feel only vaguely improved#but still bad overall#plus i keep losing weight bc i have no appetite#down like uhhh 35 lbs i think since this all started in may#and im always worried these ppl and doctors think im like#asking for a magic pill to fix everything but thats not the case at all#its not for lack of trying its brain chemistry and i know it is bc ive struggled with it my entire life#anways#hope i can get these thoughts across to the dr without like barfing#im so nervous im nauseous#i just wanna wake up and not have my chest hurt from the panic#tbd
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色彩 [Shikisai]
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itafushi#fushiita#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fanart#jjk fanart#megumi#yuuji#finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been#almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh#this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt#anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei#SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time#speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK#wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops#sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it#resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw#i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy#have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3
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also i hate to admit it and i swear i DO understand the importance of them but fellas i fear i may be steadily morphing into a humanities hater
#the lack of required humanities teaching is likely directly related to why things are so fucked up stupid right now and they are SO crucial#but it is a fact that now every time i think about writing an essay i get slightly nauseous#specifically avoided taking any humanities classes this semester & ONE of my classes has an essay and im genuinely nervous abt it#i'm not a math whiz but at least it's more justifiable to be bad and hateful of numbers. shit has me- the chronic rambler- scared of words#im so. so sick of final projects. just give me a fucking bubble sheet i'm so serious it is significantly less stress and effort#why do professors act like writing a 5 page essay for 4 different classes is easier than filling out a piece of paper & leaving in an hour#and why does it feel like most of my peers AGREE. WHY WOULD YOU PREFER THAT#I GET THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE GET TEST ANXIETY BUT THAT IS LIKE TWO HOURS OF STRESS VS TWO WEEKS TO A MONTH OF STRESS I DONT GET IT#this is not a tangent because humanities classes will almost always have an essay instead of a test and it will almost always be an essay.#eye twitch. but as long as everyone else is happy about not having to circle things on a piece of paper i guess. its okay. its fine#anyway my other reasonings are that shit really is boring im sorry i cant. i cannot get into it i really do try my best#and also all the classes are annoyingly early which just really does not help their association in my brain#sigh. the humanities play a very important role in education and society as a whole and they deserve to be mandatory. get them away from me
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IVE GOT ANOTHER INTERVIEW TOMORROW GUYS IM SCARED WISH ME LUCK CHAT
#EVERY TIME I HAVE AN UPCOMING INTERVIEW I GET SO NERVOUS I FEEL NAUSEOUS#i also need to get bloodwork done this week -_-#i keep forgetting 2 get my bloodwork done so im gonna force myself to do it either tomorrow or wednesday#whiskey yelling into the void
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girl i am falling apart 🥰💗💐✨🧘♀️
#why does anxiety have physical symptoms why did evolution fuck me so hard#yeah im nervous about this thing i have to do. luckily my entire body has gone into panic mode making the thing even worse#oh you have to be prepared because its a big deal? would being shaky and nauseous and unable to move make you feel better?
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it's crazy that my game will be real in two weeks. officially perceived
#im so nervous im going to be nauseous the day it comes out even if only like 2 people play it lol#and i will finally be able to talk about friendprogram.... finally
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please wish me luck and cast a little spell/send a prayer my way so that i can finally pass this exam 😮💨🙏
#phan#for the fandometrics and good luck#god im so nervous i feel nauseous as hell#witchblr#manifestation
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TANG BO..THE MAN THAT YOU ARE..
#im so nervous for his webcomic debut i just got nauseous a little..BE BEAUTIFUL BE BEAUTIFUL BE BEAUTIFUL#its making me jittery..what is he going to look like.. will they even show his face.. how tall was he compared to geomjon
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goddd i hate eating at work. it makes me so anxious
#inevitably the moment i sit down im needed again#so i take one bite and then immediately become too busy to eat for the next hour#and i lose my chance because technically i had my break but just worked through it (even though i didn't rlly get a choice to NOT work)#im trying to eat but it's making me so nervous that im getting a little nauseous lmao
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im just so fucking sad and scared all the time and its ruining my life
#i feel nauseous#shitpost#philosophy#memes#thoughts#writing#sadg#sadgirl#lyrics#like what do i do with me#i dont know what to do with me#thats a halsey lyric#security guards make me nervous#people in general really#im so sick of it#sick of myself#im so moppey ugh#maybe thats fine but i know too many people whod call me lazy and stupid for letting everything get to me so easily#i mean i had a shitty headache but#it got worse when security took my outside mfing alcohol#and the shame oh the shame#actually i thought that to myself while i walkednout the door#i feel a deep sense of shame#chronic shame#did you know thats a thing?#it fucking shouldnt be but what are you gona do#fucking christ and the one security guard who hit on me while i was breaking down in the library is walking around i wana kms#have a lit or really really really depressing funeral and done#i think my soul would be restless in the afterlife if i didnt have a worth while death#i want to have something thats worth dying over
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Gonna (hopefully) legally change my name
Pro : i get!!! To change my name!!!! And teachers will use the right one
Con : i have to ask my dad and im so nervous im sick. Asked my mum already she clearly doesn't wanna but if my dad is ok with it it'll get done
#transgender#nonbinary#i almost had a panic attack earlier and now i am nauseous#usually i resort to dissociating so im not that nervous? so its unusual and i dont like it#really really excited to get it changed i want to so bad
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F/O SAVE ME
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i jst realized the teaser for ep 11 will be out in the morning...what will we see...
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i had an eye test done a few days ago and one of the tests gave me mad vertigo, it only lasted a few minutes but i still have a major headache and nausea and it flares up when i’m scrolling. obviously the answer is to get off my phone but it’s making me think of the march that shall not be named when i couldn’t look at fucking anything and ya girl is getting nervous
#i know its from the vertigo#i know#i just need to give it a few days and itll go away#but that march was literally the worst month of my life and i live in permanent fear of it#this is like 5% as bad as that so i know i need to just chill#but if it would just go away already thatd be very appreciated!!#side note guess who needs glasses ✌🏻#i have astigmatism which we been knew and my left eye is a bit weaker than my right which i also knew#but he didnt say anything about degeneration or anything even tho i emphasised that im always at home and always in the dark#so that was a little weight off my chest#but you know the big silver round thing they bring in front of your face that you rest your chin on#and they put the different lenses in and they ask one or two?#that spun me out something awful#i could only look through it for like a minute before i had to be like yo i cant do this#having my peripheral cut off just completely fucked me up#again it only lasted like five minutes#but still being nauseous and headachy is just making me nervous#i just need to remember it had an external cause and it will go away and theres nothing that suggests itll turn into another march#positive fucking attitude#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#chronic illness#dysautonomia
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i think a big plus of having Guz be so tall and just in general bigger than me is that I could sit in front of him with my back to his chest and have his arms wrapped around me and he could just hide me away from the world for a little while. he is my own personal brick wall fsdjkl a weighted blanket perhaps too,,
#so much softer than a brick wall ofc dsfkl but . just saying ''wall'' doesnt conjure up the mental image as well as ''brick wall''#my nervous system is absolutely shot fdsjkl i opened my other main account to check in with a couple ppl and got so nauseous and dizzy ;-;#idk what is wrong w meeee (well no i do sort of know but fjsdkl i dont know how to fix That so im pretending thats not the issue)#i was doing so well for a couple weeks too wtf 😭😭#thank god i have a counseling appt on monday dsjkl i think i very much need it#so many difficult things happened today now that i think about it fjksl i did Nawt have a rest day fdsjkl#i think ... tonight i will shut everything out and just draw or write or smth#just completely wrap myself up in creating stuff for a couple hours at least#i would like One hug from my man and perhaps ten minutes of deep pressure FDSJKL or just. feeling safe for a bit. agh. i've said too much#OVERWHELMED. THATS WHAT IM FEELING. AUGH. finally placed the feeling im having HFDSJKL#theres so many strings in my life and i have dropped quite a few over the holidays and i dont think i can pick them back up#like. idk how i ever held all of them wtf jfsdkl how was i doing that !!! theres so many goddamn strings to hold !!#vent //#dandy.cmd
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TATTOO DAY
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