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ateezmakemeweep · 4 years ago

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playing with fire (part 1)

word count: 23k

fluff, smut (warning: age gap, infidelity, roommate’s father)

(series masterlist)

“is there any other way you could pay?” the woman behind the desk asked, stout and soft spoken with sympathy in her eyes.

she probably has to have this conversation with students a lot, tell them that their tuition payment didn’t go through or that they’re not eligible for government support.

or that the athletics department needed more scholarship money, successfully rendering you, one of the many photography majors on campus, unable to pay for your last semester of college.

“a loan of some sort or another scholarship, maybe?” she tried to help, “i could send over an e-mail of ones you might be eligible for.”

you swallow the lump forming in your throat, attempting to calm all the anxiety and stress violently making its way through your body.

“y-yes, that would be great, thank you,” you barely manage to get out, hoping and praying to some unknown force above that you don’t burst into tears.

you were nearing the end of the fall semester, the last fall semester you ever anticipated of having, when you found out just last week that you were no longer eligible for your scholarship.

in a short, curt e-mail explaining that, while you kept up your gpa and never strayed from the requirements, they’ve maxed out their amount of funding and are looking to use that money elsewhere.

“can they do that!?” your best friend and roommate of four years yelps, gucci sunglasses atop her head as she stomps around your shared, off-campus apartment.

“they can’t seriously do that! you’ve been a straight a student since you started and now they wanna take it away?! before your last semester of senior year?!”

“eunbi, it’s not ideal but i’ve already come to terms with it,” you explain gently, leaving out the part where you did, in fact, have a break down right outside the bursar office only an hour ago. “i’ll just save up money and come back in the fall to finish.”

“that’s so not right or fair though!” she whines, something about the concept of not getting what she wants unfamiliar to your roommate.

you first met park eunbi during freshmen move in day, your two raggedy luggages and beat up backpacks an embarrassing contrast to the multiple louis vuitton travel bags she lunged in.

you were intimidated for all of three seconds, before she looked at you with a smile and threw her arms around you like a long lost best friend.

it was obvious she came from money, the way she spoke and carried herself so confidently before her parents came in and introduced themselves.

they were both gorgeous and tall and looked far too young to have an 18-year-old daughter, covered in fancy jewelry and expensive looking clothing.

her dad, who introduced himself as mr. park seonghwa, didn’t seem to bat an eye at your more humble appearance. he reminded you a lot of eunbi, honest and genuine in the way he was kind and nonjudgemental.

mrs. park seemed nice enough, too, though you could see the judgement behind her pretty eyes.

the way she sneered at your bags and looked down at your hands, so different from her and her daughter’s not covered in diamond bracelets or acrylic nails.

“did we just miss your parents?” she asked, her voice just as pretty and rich sounding as she appeared; you bet if she laughed, she’d had have that melodic, care-free laugh all rich women seem to have.

“oh, uh, yeah, i’m sorry,” you apologized, lying through your teeth with a shy smile and averting gaze - you had to move in by yourself, the same way you traveled here all alone with no one to send you off.

“it’s okay, we just thought it’d be nice to meet them,” eunbi’s father interjects, the smile on his handsome face causing your stomach to swoop - how is he a dad?

“we were gonna take eunbi to an early dinner before we left. do you wanna join us?”

“oh no, it’s okay, i’d hate to intru-”

“no, you’re coming, c’mon!” your new roommate whined, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the door. “we’ll be able to get a lot of dessert out of them. probably the whole menu if we wanted.”

and you saw that over the years, eunbi knew she could, in fact, get whatever she wanted from her parents. they had the money and the means and the fondness in their hearts for their only daughter.

but it never seemed to get to your friend.

she was always kind and thoughtful of others and never said or did anything to suggest she was just a brainless, spoiled rich kid.

even in your guy’s second year when she found out you were going to school on an academic scholarship, she didn’t care. she didn’t turn her nose up or think you were lesser than her for not having the funds; if anything, it only made her praise you more.

that you were smart and ambitious enough to work under the strict guidelines of a prestigious scholarship.

“i know it’s not fair,” you mumble, not wanting to cry or have another anxiety attack over this matter. “but it is what it is. i’ll figure it out.”

she lets out a dejected, defeated sigh so uncharacteristic of the girl, plopping down on her pink, fluffy bed and bringing you down with her.

“we’ll sell feet pics over winter break,” she concludes after a few minutes of silence, wrapping her arm around yours and curling her body into yours. “you know how much money we can get from that? and we have pretty feet,” she says, sticking her leg up and wiggling her red, painted toes.

there’s a little less tightness in your chest and a little heaviness lifted in your stomach as you let out a giggle, looking over at your best friend who truly got you through the last four years of school.

you really don’t know how you’d still be functioning if it weren’t for her.

“you’re sick.”

“i’m serious,” she giggles out, flipping on her side and causing the bed to bounce under you. “you’re still good with coming tomorrow, right? i told my parents you were.”

she had invited you to her house for the winter break this year, the girl not wanting you to spend a month alone in the apartment.

you’ve shared with her how strained your relationship with your parents has been, really, since birth. never seeing eye to eye to them and feeling as if they never had your best interests at heart.

when most kids get full ride scholarships, their parents are immensely proud. bragging about how smart they are and telling them how proud they were.

but your parents were the opposite.

they didn’t want you to up and leave them to pursue an education. they thought you were gonna stay with them forever, not go to college like them and help run the family business back home in your tiny little hometown.

it was your dream to go to college and get a degree, though, so that’s exactly what you did for yourself; but they saw it as a giant fuck you.

saw it as you thinking you were better than them and basically told you to never come back if you thought you were so much smarter and better off without them.

so you’d spent every winter or summer vacation in the dorms, this year finally being the time you accepted eunbi’s invitation to stay over - reluctantly.

“i packed all my stuff, yeah,” you mumble, hands twisted into one another nervously. “but... are you sure they’re okay with it? i don’t wanna intrude or be there if i’m not wanted.”

“y/n, please,” she whines, “my mom may be a raging bitch but you know i make the rules in that house.”

“that’s not what i meant,” you mutter immediately, looking to the girl with a small frown on your lips.

although it was no secret eunbi’s mom didn’t ever seem too fond of you, always sneering at your off-brand items or questioning the logistics of why exactly you needed a scholarship to afford college, you always tried to remain polite.

smile at her and greet her happily even though there was always a thick, palpable tension between you two.

“oh but it is,” she chuckles out, the girl far too aware of what a materialistic snob her mother is. “it’s fine, i know she’s a bitch. my dad’s just coming tomorrow anyway. i told him to bring one of the bigger cars so we can lay out in the back.”

you have to bite back a snarky comment about the fact there are multiple cars in question, though the look in your eye certainly gives it away. she can only giggle and shrug her shoulders, flopping onto her back as she tells you about how excited she is to be reunited with her boyfriend.

eunbi and jiwoon have been dating since their second year of high school, going to colleges only an hour away from each other; he was just as handsome as he was kind and good to her, leaving you with no other option but to love and support the both of them.

and you try to listen to her rambling that ensues, you really do, but your mind is swirling with some slight anxiety about staying with her family for a month.

you don’t wanna make her mom even more irritated, deal with the side eyes and passive aggressive comments and overall feeling of just not being wanted.

you don’t want eunbi to feel obligated to be with you 24/7, act as a cock block to her and her boyfriend who haven’t seen each other in almost six weeks.

and maybe, you don’t want your tiny, small, miniscule crush on mr. park to make you feel any more awkward than it does, wondering how a married man who has a daughter in college is still so handsome and alluring.

it also doesn’t help that he’s just so incredibly kind, always making everyone feel so comfortable and welcomed, it’d be hard not to just develop a little, secret crush on him.

“eunbi, who is that sexy ass man who just dropped you off?” one of your suite mates asks your roommate, everyone gathering back in front of the dorm building after winter break.

it was sophomore year and you spent a month in the quiet, almost eerie college dorms alone (apart from the ra down the hall). you were grateful for everyone to return, no matter how loud or catty things were about to become.

“yeah, for real. is that your new boyfriend? he’s hotter than the last one and i didn’t even think that was possible.”

“uhhh.. no,” eunbi says, shooting the crowd of girls with lustful eyes and curious glances a look of distaste. “that’s my dad.”

and that’s when a chorus of disbelief and inappropriate comments erupted from the group of college girls.

asking how a dad could look like that while hoping and praying he’s single.

inquiring about just how much her dad’s on campus and when’s the next time he’s gonna pick her up.

about how he’s definitely hotter than her boyfriend, with a more mature and sophisticated look than these college boys.

“are they fucking serious! like how disgusting? he’s my literal father!” eunbi rages once in the dorm room, sharing a few curse words and vulgar phrases at the girl’s before stomping away from them.

“and for them to say that shit in front of me? did they think i want to hear that?”

“i know, that was so sick,” you agree, because even though you, too, think he’s attractive, it’s not something you would ever verbalize to your friend.

“like... i know he’s younger than most dads, my parents had me when they were teenagers, but shit! how sick,” she rants, throwing down her heavy designer bags and flopping on her bed.

you can tell by the look on her face how much it truly bothers her, everyone always noticing her dad and making comments like that. she handles it well, she’s always able to handle herself well, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s something that worries her.

people getting close to her to get to her dad, even if it was teachers or other moms in elementary school or her friends when she got to college.

it’s one of the many reasons you would never give away your little crush on him - because it’s not only inappropriate and uncomfortable for her to know but there’s also no need to tell her.

because it’s not like it would go anywhere.

he’s a married man and your roommate’s father, a twisted, dark, forbidden fantasy that will stay in the walls of your head and never see the light of day - no matter how thrilling and fulfilling being with him would be.

“eunbi, your dad’s gonna be here soon,” you yell into your roommate’s doorway, met with the sound of her groaned “five more minutes!” that you’ve been hearing for the past twenty.

she was on facetime with jiwoon when you went to bed around one, briefly waking to the sound of her girlish screams or high-pitched giggles three hours later; you wouldn’t be surprised if she only went to bed a few hours ago.

“you said five more minutes thirty minutes ago,” you say, stomping your way over before smacking her over the head with a pillow. she lets out a loud sigh before swatting you away, your surprisingly fast reflexes grabbing her wrist.

she peeks one eye open as a smirk covers her morning face, looking from you all dressed up and ready in your pink pleated skirt and white thigh high stockings, down to her wrist in your hold.

“that was kinda hot. and you look good. i don’t know how to act right now.”

“shut up and get your ass out of bed,” you demand, biting back a smile as you storm out of her room.

you’d been pacing around the apartment ever since you woke up at seven a.m., more and more unsettled about staying over her house as the time drew closer.

you checked to make sure you had enough clothes and chargers and skincare products for nearly an hour, finally settling the same purple suitcase you moved in with freshmen year near the door.

you hope mrs. park doesn’t notice, remembering the way she sneered at the wonky zipper and slightly stained bottom.

you also hope you can keep yourself in check, not get too nervous or flustered by eunbi’s exorbitant wealth or a new setting you don’t feel welcomed in or her hot ass father whose bones you wanna jump.

the knock at the door completely sobers you, jumping in your spot just in time to see eunbi fly across the living room to get to the door. there’s a big, happy smile on her face, ripping open the door and greeting her father in typical eunbi fashion.

“are those for me?” she asks, snatching the red box from his hands.

excitement bubbles inside the girl as she unveils twelve chocolate covered strawberries, a speciality at one of the local dessert shops just a few miles from her home.

“you shouldn’t have, dad, really. i’m much too tired to appreciate this.”

the man can only look at his daughter with a look of disdain and affection, waking up to an extremely passive aggressive text that she’d really appreciate an early morning treat from her favorite place ever and that it’d really inspire her to be ready.

but as he can currently see, given the state of her hair and pajamas pants, it didn’t at all act as a motivator.

“then maybe i should just-” but upon her father’s hand reaching out to grab the box of strawberries, the girl brings it to her body and runs away, yelling that her bags are packed and she’s just gonna wash her face.

he looks to you with a mock annoyed expression, your heart jumping in your chest as you send him a small, polite smile.

“how do you deal with her, y/n?” he asks, a smirk on his face rising as you let out a soft, slightly forced giggle - this man looks too good for his own good at ten o’clock in the morning.

“don’t talk shit about me!” she yelps before you can even think to say something, a smile lighting up his face again before he nods his head down the hall.

“i’ll bring down your girl’s bags,” he says, his tall, large frame coming toward you making your knees feel slightly wobbly.

you swear you see his eyes roam over you for the shortest of seconds, down to your shirt and exposed legs before back to your face, until he’s looking into your eyes questioningly.

totally not like someone who just checked out their daughter’s roommate - this is what you feared, your own delusionals and attraction making your crazy little brain see something that’s not there.

“her bedroom’s down that hall?”

you resist the urge to swallow nervously, begging yourself to snap out of it and remind yourself you have to deal with the man for a month. a month of his dark, piercing eyes and bright, white smile and skin so smooth and clear, it’s far too easy to forget he’s almost forty years old.

“yeah,” you barely manage to get out. “i-i can help and bring down mine.”

“no, it’s okay,” he insists, “help in getting eunbi ready. you know she’ll delay us thirty more minutes.”

you let out another strained chuckle as you nod your head, finally letting out the breath you’ve been holding when you hear his footsteps disappear down the hall and into her room.

as long as you distance yourself from him, not look him in the eye or let any sort of idea get in your head that an older, married man could want you back, this will be fine.

it’ll be a nice, calm, relaxed break actually full of interaction and socialization opposed to your usual lonely bubble of solitude.

eunbi’s not making that very easy though, when twenty minutes later, she’s opening the back door of her father’s black g-wagen and sprawling out on the black leather seats.

“where’s y/n supposed to go, eunbi?” seonghwa asked, the fatherly tone is his voice causing eunbi to let out a huff; the only time you see eunbi’s spoiled tendencies come out is around her father, the girl knowing he’ll do anything and everything for her.

and apparently, so will you.

sitting in the front seat of her car, next to her extremely hot father you’re trying to stay calm around, while she sleeps soundly in the backseat - if she didn’t invite to stay at her home, meals and bed and transportation free, you’d say she has to owe you.

“was she up all night talking to jiwoon?” mr. park asked, the past few moments of silence just as comforting as they were terrifying. it felt awkward to you, extremely tense and full of suspense, but you knew it was completely normal.

you bite down on your lip, looking back at eunbi sleeping soundly on the seat, even prepared with a fuzzy white blanket. you let out a soft giggle when you see her mouth open, the slightest bit of drool hanging from her mouth and threatening to spill on the dark leather.

“she might’ve been,” you mutter, a breathy laugh leaving her father that causes you to sneak a glance at him.

there’s not a hint of a wrinkle or imperfection on his glowing skin, black hair hanging in his face and red lips quirked into a content smile. that’s something you always noticed about him, despite his dark appearance and looming figure, he always appears to be happy.

smiles and laughs and never gives anyone without his same wealth a dirty glance - he treats everyone the same and that’s another reason you’ve taking a liking to him, not just because he’s the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your life.

“y/n?” he asks, your intrusive thoughts being ripped away at the sound of his voice calling your name.

your eyes move to his and he’s watching you in slight amusement, a rampant blush creeping up on your cheeks at the way you’ve been caught. you’re quick to look away, shake your head and let out an awkward chuckle and apology.

you miss the way his eyes roam your side profile, a delightful smirk and feeling in his chest blooming before he speaks again.

“how was your semester?”

“it was good,” you say, hands placed nervously in your lap. “a lot of work on top of an internship but it was good.”

“and you girls are almost done,” he hums lowly, one hand atop the steering wheel while his eyes focus on the highway in front of him. “eunbi’s been talking about a combined graduation party since the moment you guys met.”

you let out a small laugh as you remember eunbi’s plan since your second semester of freshmen year, ignoring the twinge of sadness in your stomach.

you could’ve never anticipated delaying your college career when you first received your scholarship, happy and proud and eternally grateful for the opportunity.

but you suppose you’re lucky enough to have gotten this far, and delaying one last semester is nothing compared to people who never get to go to college - but it still makes you feel upset.

you think you have the right to feel disappointed and sad, the lingering sick feeling in your stomach making you feel nauseous.

“is it okay if i open the window for a second?” you mumble to mr. park, the man looking over your face.

he presses down on the passenger window button immediately, your face met with cold air as relief floods through your body.

“are you okay? do you get car sick?” he asks, remembering how much eunbi used to get car sick (on the rare occasion she wasn’t passed out during a road trip).

“not usually,” you mumble, resting your head on the side of the door.

then again, i’m not usually freaking out about making tuition money or repressing my violent attraction to my roommate’s father.

seonghwa watches as you close your eyes for a few moment, allowing the cold, windy air to hit your face. he couldn’t help but notice the pinkish tint to your cheeks, suppressing the urge for his eyes and thoughts to wander.

you’re a college girl in the prime of her life and his daughter’s best friend, he’d be a fool to think you were blushing and nervous because of him - but he also doesn’t remember you looking like.... this.

so pretty and dressed up and pink in the face as you check him out with a soft and curious look in your eye.

“maybe try to take a nap,” he suggests, his gaze lingering back onto the road so he doesn’t look at your exposed legs. “i’ll pull off at a rest stop to get you ginger ale.”

“that’s not necessary, mr. park,” your sweet voice says, something about it causing his insides to jump - he definitely doesn’t remember you sounding like that. “i’ll be okay. just need the window open for a little longer.”

you spend the next few minutes with the cold, december wind blowing through the car, your back pressed against the comfortable seat behind you. a chill runs through your body, goosebumps rising on your exposed thighs, but it feels better than the alternative.

potentially panicking or vomiting due to current stress of your life.

your gaze shifts to the man beside you, whether it be to check him out or ask if he’s cold unknown to you.

“are you okay with the-”

the words are stuck in your throat when you see his eyes aren’t on the road but your exposed, goose-bumpy thighs, the white lace of your thigh high stockings and pink skirt leaving little to the imagination.

you wish you could see the look in his eye, if it’s judgemental and shameful or full of lust and curiosity. if he’s wondering what you have on just a few inches under your skirt and if that’s something he even thinks about.

or maybe he’s just looking because it’s there - your skirt blowing in the wind and him caught off guard by the sight right there in his passenger seat.

“um, i think i’m good now,” you mumble, watching from your peripheral as he shifts in his seat and tightens his hold on the steering wheel.

“alright, let me know if you wanna stop.”

you bite down on your lip as you nod your head, keeping your eyes on the view in front of you.

the faint sounds of eunbi snoring behind you act as a way to ground you, remind you that these thoughts and feelings you’re having can’t stay.

maybe you have to get it our of your system now, take all the looks you can and feel all the hopefulness your delusional brain needs until you act as if eunbi’s father is a mean, disgusting, grotesque man.

not someone who gets your heart and body pounding.

you’re not sure how many songs play on the radio until you both are talking again, seonghwa looking in the rearview mirror to see his daughter still passed out on the seats.

“do you think she’ll sleep the whole time?”

he hope for his sake, she doesn’t.

you look back at eunbi sleeping soundly, the drool previously trickling down her mouth successfully making a pool on the black leather.

“probably,” you chuckle out lightly. “i have a feeling she went to bed around six.”

“shit,” he laughs out, remembering the days he used to be able to pull all nighters in college or dreaded the idea of waking up in the morning. “i can’t remember the last time i was able to stay up past one.”

“you’re not even that old, mr. park,” you tease, not sure where you got the balls to say that and feeling, at least for a few seconds, that you overstepped; but then he lets out a deep, amused chuckle and it causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“not that old, huh?” he quips, your tooth sinking into your lip at the tone of his voice. “you know i’m turning 40 in a few months, right?”

you crane your neck to look at the man in the driver’s seat, swallowing thickly when you see his eyes are already on you. there’s a certain type of lightness and teasing in them that you’ve never seen before, the man always happy and jovial but never like this.

never looking so... teasing and playful.

“yeah,” you say with a growing smirk, not being able to help your own nervous excitement. “that doesn’t seem too bad.”

the deep, low chuckle that leaves him causes your stomach to swoop, eyes wide and the small smile on your face causing him to look over you once more.

it’s shameless and bold but neither of you seem to care in that moment.

“i’ll keep that in mind,” he says, deep brown eyes piercing through yours before his face turns teasing and.. appropriate.. “the next time eunbi tries to call me an old man or something.”

“right,” you chuckle out, cheeks burning and heart pounding as you allow yourself to break eye contact.

the ride to eunbi’s house is just over two hours, hoping and praying that it goes by quickly - because you’re not sure how much longer you’ll be able to be alone, or mostly alone, with him.

you’re thinking too much into his words and his gaze and the way he makes you feel, making you silly enough to believe that, maybe, a part of him wants you too.

the second you arrived at eunbi’s, you had already felt unwelcomed.

not only because of mrs. park, who just about sneered at your presence in her exquisite home, but because of the dozens of other socialites in the immaculately white living room.

it looked and felt almost like a hospital. a white color scheme with black accents, extremely cold and spotless - the only bit of color was in eunbi’s room where it felt like you could actually breathe.

“i’m sorry, i told her not to throw her fucking gathering today,” eunbi complained, grumpy from her nap but still happy to finally be home.

“a bunch of stuck up snobs, i swear to god. they either have to get the stick lodged so far up their asshole removed or get dicked down by their lousy excuses of-”

“eunbi,” you hear her father’s deep voice reprimand, the girl not even feeling the slightest bit of shame or embarrassment for talking that way in front of her father.

“oh, c’mon, dad, you know it’s true!” she whines in a whispered tone. “they’re the worst! and she knew me and y/n were coming today, do you really think that wasn’t a coincidence?”

because, as far as eunbi thinks, she has sinking suspicions that her mom did this solely to make you uncomfortable.

she had already been hesitant to let you stay in the first place, had eunbi not gone full on bitch mode and stubbornly proclaimed she’d spend the break with you at the apartment.

but you didn’t have to know that.

“i don’t care, it’ll just be my first christmas without my family, mom, who cares about that,” she had said, all types of manipulative and toxic behavior that she learned from the best.

she’s sure her mother was sweet and good at one point in her life, she wouldn’t have ended up with her father in the first place if she wasn’t, but money changes people.

wealth and greed and having the power to get anything you want because you flash a stack of money around or write out a check.

“i told her to have them out by dinner,” he said, his eyes moving from eunbi to you, standing there with tense shoulders and a shy, uncomfortable look on your face.

“you’re more than welcomed here, y/n,” he said, his voice low and full of kindness as he stands in eunbi’s doorway. “don’t worry about it, okay?”

you resist the urge to pout at the touched feeling in your chest, looking from the man to eunbi who’s nodding at her dad’s words.

“thank you, mr. park,” you say, a phrase he swears has never effected him this deeply.

and because of that, he’s quick to haul ass out of there. tells you guys that dinner will be ready around seven and to come down whenever.

you and eunbi spend that time in her room to unpack both of your things and watch movies, her king sized bed nearly lulling you to sleep until her loud squeal and bounce of the bed causes you to jump in shock.

“y/n, don’t be mad at me please,” she whines directly in your face, all wide-eyed and cutesy as she looks at you with mock innocence.

“what did you do?” you mumble tiredly, pushing her away with the smallest of sneers.

“i’ll be back for dinner, i promise, but... is it okay if i go to jiwoon’s for a little?” she asks, cocking her head to the side before shimming closer to you. “i have to get railed so bad.”

“jesus christ, eunbi,” you snort, pushing her away again and burying your face in the pillow - you’ve never met someone who overshares as much as she does.

she plops down on her back with an unabashed giggle, popping right back up like an annoying little dog and looking at you with a smile.

“of course you can go, i’m not gonna hold you hostage here,” you say when she pulls your face away, looking at you so expectantly and sweetly, you couldn’t say no if you wanted.

“okay, but i don’t want you thinking that i’m gonna ditch you this whole time. i’m really not, y/n,” she pouts, knowing that was one of the reasons you were apprehensive about coming - that and her bitch of a mother. “i just miss him.”

a pout falls on your face as you look at eunbi and the genuine look on her face.

“bi, i’m serious, go. i want you to,” you insist, moving a piece of her tangled hair away from her face. “we were just gonna be up here anyway. i’ll probably take a nap, i was about to fall asleep before your loud ass-”

“thank you, thank you, thank you,” she says, pulling you into a tight hug before jumping off her bed and rushing toward her door. “i’ll be back a lot more calm and happy. oh, why, you ask? because i’m about to get my back blown the fuck ou-”

you thank god for your impeccable aim, promptly whacking eunbi in the face with one of her pillows.

“get out of here,” you groan, eunbi throwing the pillow back with a smile on her face.

“sweet dreams, y/n!”

you let out a sigh when she closes her door, falling back onto her bed with a soft plop.

you were definitely tired from your anxious pacing this morning but aren’t sure how much sleep you’re gonna get right now, tonight or for the rest of the month.

knowing that you’re unwelcomed by one person, extremely attracted to another and silently betraying the person you should be most loyal too - but as long as it just stays in your head, and you remind yourself that there’s no way mr. park could feel anything back to you, it’ll be fine.

you’ll just get by quietly and smoothly at dinners or in passing through the hallways, enjoy eunbi’s comfortable king-sized bed and the fact that you don’t have to spend yet another holiday alone.

reruns of drake and josh play in the background, keeping your giggles quiet as drake soaks his feet in lizard pee. you feel your eyes grow heavy the more episodes you watch, the shitty laugh track and loud, bickering brothers eventually lulling you to sleep.

it takes about five knocks on the door to eventually stir you, your eyes fluttering open to see mr park’s figure in the doorway. you can only stare at the man as you adjust to him, taking in his tall, slim figure just a few feet away from you.

taking in the way his white shirt clings to his body, broad shoulders and slim torso on display in a way that makes you wish you could see, just for a second, what he looks like underneath that a-

“sorry if i woke you,” his deep voice hums, the slightest bit of amusement in his voice that causes your cheeks to warm. “i didn’t think you’d be sleeping at seven p.m.”

“no, it’s okay,” you stammer out, sitting up in eunbi’s bed. “i... i don’t even know when i fell asleep, to be honest.”

he looks at the screen to see drake and josh playing, a smirk pulling at his lips as his gaze shifts back to you.

“it’s funny,” you defend with a mumble, a deep chuckle leaving his mouth that causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach - he’s far too handsome, everything about him is just far too attractive, even in his laugh.

“that’s what eunbi claims,” he says, remembering all the years of his daughter forcing him to watch ridiculous shows.

despite his daughter’s outgoing nature, she never had a lot of friends growing up.

there was once a small group of girls she hung out but they quickly drifted apart throughout high school, leaving eunbi really only with him and her boyfriend.

the boyfriend who seonghwa really didn’t wanna like out of principal but seeing that the kid really does love his daughter quickly coming around.

“speaking of, where is she? jiwoon’s?”

“yeah,” you tell him, settling back into the pillows and stretching your arms out in front of you. “she said she’d be back for dinner.”

“well she’s wrong, as usual, because dinner’s ready,” he quips playfully, the smirk pulling at his lips causing you to smile back at him. you swallow nervously when his eyes roam over your face, your own gaze trained on him before you see his mouth start to move again.

“do you want me to bring some up for you? or you’ll come down?”

he can see the apprehension on your face immediately, fear crossing your eyes and your arms folding into each other uncomfortably. he tries to ignores the way your soft white sweater dips by your chest, a hint of perky cleavage just barely showing that causes his dick to twitch in his pants.

he doesn’t know when this happened.

he didn’t know when he became a pervy old man who checked out college girls with his wife just downstairs and the knowledge that you’re his daughter’s friend.

“i’ll come down,” you say, surprising him just as he was about to insist he brings some up for you. “she’ll probably be back soon anyway.”

but five minutes pass by, then ten, then twenty and eunbi’s still not home - it’s just you, seonghwa and mrs. park at the long, glass dining room table.

white chairs with high backs and comfortable cushions to match the immaculate, hospital-like color scheme and environment; truthfully, you’ve never been more terrified to eat a plate of chicken parmesan in your life.

the sound of utensils scraping on the china and the crackling of the fireplace a room over are the only noises heard throughout the home, mrs. park taking a swig of wine and gently placing it on the table with a light clack.

“so, y/n,” she finally says, breaking the tension with her rich-sounding, nasally voice. “how has school been, dear? you’re an... art major, am i remembering that correctly?”

“uh, photography, yeah,” you smile tensely, trying to ignore the judgment in her voice.

“ah, so you never switched over to business then,” she hums, her wine glass back in hand as her dark, gorgeous eyes look you over.

you bite the inside of your cheek as you feel a pink flush cover your face, faintly remembering your roommate saving you a few semesters ago when her mom was grilling you about picking a more practical and useful major.

“she can do whatever she wants, mom,” eunbi eventually snapped, “whether she does business or photography or even liberal arts is none of your business.”

“no,” you mutter out, dropping your gaze to look over the intricate pattern on the table. “i thought about it but it wasn’t something i wanted.”

“so you didn’t want something practical? or useful?” she asks, using those two words yet again while cocking her head to the side with a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

“a business degree would’ve been great, y/n. everyone always has connections to somewhere, you could’ve found a job right out of college.”

you bite back the urge to tell her no. that not everyone has connections to multi billion dollar companies or numbers of ceos in their phones or the ceo of a tech company as their next door neighbors.

but instead, the same way eunbi defended you against her mother, seonghwa does against his wife. gives you a soft, sympathetic side eye before placing his larger hand on his wife’s.

“there are tons of jobs in photography too, honey,” seonghwa says, his voice so warm and soft and welcoming compared to hers even despite the slight edge in it.

“and she can travel to build her portfolio. it’s a fantastic opportunity to explore the world and make money. is there a particular type of photography you’d wanna do?”

you feel yourself relax slightly, a small smile on your face as you nod your head toward the striking couple.

“i would love to be a wedding photographer actually,” you mumble, a romantic at heart who’s read and watched far too many novels and romcoms.

“taking pictures of all those moments would be really fun, i think. like when the groom sees the bride for the first time or just everyone dancing and having fun. weddings are usually happy and i like to photography happy things.”

“that sounds perfect for you then,” seonghwa smiles, his brown eyes lighting up and making you feel even more at ease.

“i think you’ll do great, y/n. and you only have a semester left, right? maybe you and eunbi you could travel for the summer before you start your jobs.”

you ignore the swish of dread and anxiety in your stomach at the mention of next semester, instead choosing to smile softly and nod your head at the man.

“i think she’d love that,” you giggle out, knowing damn well your roommate already has an extensive list of cities she wants to visit before ‘real life begins.’

“and how do your parents feel about everything?” mrs. park asks, making your stomach twist with even more dread and discomfort. “are they proud?”

you wish you could fold in on yourself right now, swallowing the growing, nervous lump in your throat.

because not only is she making you incredibly uncomfortable right now, with her harsh looks and topic of conversation and snide little tone, she just mentioned the people you haven’t spoken to since you left home at eighteen.

you don’t know what to say, you have the slightest bit of concern you might throw up on her, when the loud, chipper voice of your roommate floats through the cold, silent house.

“i’m back!” her chipper voice yelps, sock-clad feet running through the house and sliding on the marble floor. “what’d you guys make?”

“you’re late, eunbi,” seonghwa mumbles warningly, an innocent smile on her face as she picks up her plate of food and plops down next to you.

“am i? or are you girls just early?”

“i’m not a girl.”

“it’s a figure of speech, father,” eunbi says, smiling playfully at her father before turning to you.

she’s able to tell the second she sees your face that you’re uncomfortable, the pink flush still lingering on your face and the tenseness of your shoulders making her frown.

“i’m sorry you were alone with them,” she whispers, genuine sorrow in her wide, mock-innocent eyes. “i got held up. or... down, rather, but i tried to leave on time. i promise.”

“uh huh, i bet,” you mumble back, fighting back a smile despite your discomfort.

because eunbi has always had something about her that made it impossible to stay mad at her, her carefree, unfiltered way of communicating that made being her friend so easy.

even if, sometimes, you wanted to kill her.

“so mom,” eunbi quips, turning her soft gaze to you before looking over her mother.

“what was with your little group of bitchy housewives today? you couldn’t have had them over any other day? what kind of christmas disgrace is that?”

“eunbi...” seonghwa chastises lowly, the girl with her brow already quirked and eyes narrowed.

“i can do whatever i want in my home, eunbi. are you forgetting how things work around here?”

“how could i, when i’m met with thirty middle-aged women with botox out the ass in my home the second i get back from school?” she asks, “you didn’t think me and y/n would wanna spend the break, like, resting?”

“you ran off to your boyfriend’s the second you got here,” mrs. park bites back, her glass of wine empty as she pinches the bridge of her nose. “left your friend all alone in your room. what did i tell you about leaving... guests unattended in the house?”

the accusation and direction of conversation is quickly making you feel uncomfortable, your head turned down in your lap and leaving your cheeks aflame.

she’s making it sound like you would steal something in her home for christ’s sake, like you’re not a guest who’s dreaded coming here due to this very reason.

you block out the back and forth between eunbi and her mom, a few more seconds of yappy feminine voices before a deeply spoken “enough,” echoes through the dining room.

you even look up at the sound, watching as mr. park’s eyes rest on you. his eyes narrow as he takes in the sight of your red cheeks, his gaze shifting from you to his daughter to his wife beside him.

“y/n’s here for a month and we’re gonna make her feel welcomed the entire time. if you two are gonna fight, don’t do it at the dinner table.”

“but dad, she totally-”

“maybe you should’ve taught your daughter-”

“no more,” seonghwa growls, a sense of finality in his tone that causes the room to go silent.

you can tell your friend is unbothered by the reprimanding, shoveling food into her mouth and sipping from her wine glass completely unbothered.

sometimes you wish you could be more like her, so unfazed by conflict or loud voices or the strained relationship with a parent.

eunbi was always open with you about the rocky relationship with her mother, saying more than once to you that if it weren’t for her father, she would’ve long cut off any contact with her.

she had never really been there for eunbi growing up, having nannies and chefs take care of her for most of her life - it was her nanny of fifteen years who taught her how to walk and talk, was there with her for all the milestones she met through infancy, childhood and even adolescence.

but even then, eunbi was nonchalant and carefree about it.

saying that she’s not gonna waste her time being upset over it when she knows her mom doesn’t think about her at all. it makes your heart hurt for eunbi, grateful that the girl at least has a good relationship with her father and boyfriend.

and you, of course. you consider her your best friend and you know she does the same - even if sometimes, you wanna pull her hair out.

“i’m gonna go the food store tomorrow, eunbi, so if you and y/n want anything, just text it to me.”

“oooh can we come!” she squeals, knocking her arm into yours like an excited kid in a candy store. “we wanna try making our cookies again.”

“you’re gonna bake?” the girl’s father asks, a look of doubt on his face that causes you to bite back a smile.

“no, we’re gonna bake,” she corrects with snark, “y/n measures the ingredients and stirs, i put it in the oven and watch.”

“right, silly me,” the man hums, a smirk pulling at his lips the more he sees his daughter get irritated. “but of course you girls can come,” he says, his eyes flicking to you for just a few seconds too long.

you can only look back with a small smile, a quiet “thank you,” leaving your mouth that you’re positive he doesn’t catch.

(he did).

you help clean your plate off before you and eunbi go up to her room later that night, once her door’s closed and she’s sitting down shooting her a look of disdain.

“i know you’re mad, okay, i’m sorry, i really am!” she whines, holding her arms out for you to come over. “i tried to leave but he wouldn’t let me. he just kept wanting to-”

“i don’t need the details you sick freak!” you yelp, going over and plopping down on her bed. “ugh, it was just... so awkward. your mom hates me. she was utterly perturbed that i didn’t switch my major to business.”

“ugh, she’s a crotchety bitch i swear,” eunbi says, falling onto her back and looking at you with sorrow in her eyes. “i’m sorry, i really am. i won’t leave you alone with her again, i promise.”

you quirk an unconvinced eyebrow her way, eyes full of doubt and distrust before she throws herself on you and squeals that, at least, now you can have a scary movie marathon without any interruptions.

it seems you also probably should’ve made her promise last night that you’d never be alone with her father either; it didn’t even occur to you at the time, not thinking that she’d really ditch you two days in a row.

but alas, jiwoon’s car pulled up when all three of you were walking out of the house to the g-wagon for the trip to the food store, her shooting you an apologetic look and whispered condolences in your ear.

“i’m technically not breaking my promise because my dad’s nice,” she mumbled, the feeling in your body more nervous and aroused than it is angry and upset.

but she could’t know that.

“and when i break your head? then what, eunbi?”

“i love you,” she giggles in your ear, the playful tone of your voice letting her know she got off the hook again. “it’ll be fine. my dad’s a good man. he wouldn’t ever talk shit to you the way my mom does.”

little does she know how much you want her dad to talk shit to you.

talk to you in a way that’s casual and playful and teasing, like the hints of it you’ve seen in the car or in eunbi’s room when you were alone last night. you just want him to look at you with the slightest bit of something, even though it’s wrong.

not only because of his wife, no matter how big a bitch she is, but because of-

“do you still wanna come with me?”

seonghwa’s voice pulls you away from your thoughts, looking to the man dressed in a long, black jacket and expensive loafers. he looks far too fancy and delectable for a trip to the grocery store.

eunbi is long gone by now, her giggles and carefree run down the driveway and into her boyfriend’s car leaving you and mr. park alone, with only the blue sky and crisp air as your witness.

him looking you over hopefully, with a twinge of teasing and longing in his gaze.

you looking at him full of nerves and excitement, biting down on your lip as you nod your head timidly.

“s-sure, if that’s okay,” you say, looking from him to his car just a few feet away. “it’d be better than sitting in eunbi’s room again.”

a handsome smile crosses his face as he nods his head, heart pounding and throat constricting as you watch him walk toward the car.

he walks around the front of a smaller, sleek suv, your own eyes watching in confusion until he opens the passenger side door.

you can only stare blankly, head cocked to the side as you really start to wonder if this man is about to make you drive his car costing more than your life.

“are you getting in, y/n?” he asks, an amused smile pulling at his lips - almost like he’s making fun of your nervous, intimidated disposition.

you shake your head of the confusion, cheeks flushing in the cold december air as you do an awkward jog toward the car. you dip in beside him as your body hits the cool leather, craning your neck to shoot him a small, grateful smile.

your faces are closer than you anticipated, breath catching in your throat as his gaze watches you closely.

he doesn’t say a word or move a muscle, taking a few moments for his eyes to roam your face and body before mumbling to buckle up.

you wish you knew how long the drive to the store would be, as it would slightly settle you and the thick, awkward tension in the air. it appears to be enough time for the heat to go on, warm air blowing from the vents before he asks if you want your seat heater on.

“oh, sure, thank you,” you mumble, a smile quirking on his lips as he presses down on the small circular button.

more silence lingers in the air as the trees outside you pass by, the bright winter sun and blue sky not making it feel like christmas is only a few days away.

you can’t remember the last time the holidays have actually felt like it, though, all the lonely days blending into one and feeling as if they were the same.

maybe this year, because you’re surrounded by eunbi and her family, it’ll feel less lonely. maybe you’ll actually enjoy yourself and find that you’ve missed out when you denied her invitation each and every-

“i’m sorry about my wife last night.”

those are words you don’t expect so they shock you even more, looking at the older man beside you with a wide-eyed, confused gaze. his dark eyes are expressionless and casual on the road, one hand on the wheel while the other rests beside him.

“i... what do you mean?” you ask, knowing damn well you understand his apology - and given the unamused look he throws you, he knows you’re full of shit too.

“i don’t think she means to judge you so harshly,” he begins, his deep, smooth voice full of sympathy and softness. “it’s not her place to question your education or major, so i just want to apologize for her.”

“that’s not necessary, mr. park,” you insist, shaking your head as a small, breathy chuckle leaves you. “and it’s not like i haven’t heard it before.”

because no one is ever too confident in any of the arts being your main source of income or profession; even your own parents, although it really wouldn’t matter what you would have chosen, haven’t been supportive.

and you especially haven’t missed the looks of pity or distaste when you tell people on campus or at parties in the frat house, future business leaders or stem majors looking at you like just said the sky is hot pink.

“well that’s just ridiculous,” seonghwa says, ripping you from your thoughts so you can roam over his strong, handsome face. “it’s a great field to work in and something you’re passionate about. that’s what matters most.”

he can tell by the way your cheeks flush that you’re slightly embarrassed and he can’t help but find it endearing, licking over his lips as his mind begins to wander.

wonder about what other parts of you could flush so easily or what else he could say to really make the pinkness deepen.

“i guess,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders as you look at the passing oak trees and mansions.

“and... what you said last night about traveling to build my portfolio,” you begin, shocked by the words continuing to leave your mouth. “that’s something i’ve thought about doing. i think it’d be really fun, regardless if i did wedding photographer or not.”

“yeah?” he asks, the smile on his face causing your head to jump. “i think that’d be good, too. where would you wanna go first?”

your lips purse to the side as you think it over, a love for traveling anywhere you could but having an especially strong pull toward the tropics.

“cancun or the maldives,” you answer, the financial aspect of the trip leaving it most likely impossible for you. “it’ll probably never happen, because i’d have to sell my first born, but i’ve always wanted to go somewhere like that. somewhere tropical and fun.”

seonghwa bites his tongue about his multiple trips there, instead letting out a chuckle that causes butterflies to erupt. his eyes are too drawn to your body in the front seat, legs crossed and arms over your lap politely.

“you never know,” he hums, ripping his gaze away before you catch his gawking. “you might get there one day, after being the best wedding photographer the city has to offer.”

“oh, please,” you glggle out, cheeks flushing despite the absurdity of the comment.

you catch the smile that creeps on his face, the same handsome, carefree smile you saw in the car last time.

you try not to let it get to you, let your brain convince you that maybe he likes hanging out with you alone as much as you like it too.

“i’m serious,” he says, the earnest tone of his voice slipping into dad mode in a way he doesn’t even realize. “your parents must be proud.”

you bite down on your lip as you let out a soft, almost scornful, chuckle, a quietly mumbled “yeah,” leaving your mouth that causes his eyebrows to pull together.

he always thought it was a little suspicious that in the four years eunbi has known you, she’s never told him about your parents; as far as he knows, she’s never even seen them.

“she has her scholarship and stuff so she doesn’t really need them,” his daughter said one day, the two of them discussing why you were spending yet another break alone in the apartment.

“but they don’t want her home for the holidays? you told her she was welcomed, right?”

“ugh, about a thousand times,” his daughter groans in the seat, throwing herself against the window dramatically. “i basically begged her, dad, but she said she didn’t wanna intrude. i’m telling you it’s because mom is the biggest fucking-”

“eunbi...”

“you know it’s true!” she squeals, seonghwa biting his tongue in an effort to be the bigger and better parent. “i don’t even know why you guys got married.”

but that’s what happens with teen pregnancies and rich families. how they were destined to marry anyway, due to their parents companies and stupid business politics.

it was one drunken night at his dad’s company party and a broken condom that sealed his fate with finality - made him go from a single, carefree high school student to a married businessman with a child just two short years later.

his wife was good at one point he likes to think, remembering she was gorgeous and sassy and not like the other girls who would drop to their knees for him.

but marriage and a child and just life quickly caught up with them, already trapped in a loveless, pointless marriage by the time he hit 25.

he’d be lying if he said he didn’t stay for eunbi, that they both didn’t stay for eunbi throughout her childhood and now just grew too used to being an unhappy married couple who live separate lives.

there was never any reason for them to divorce though, no one serious in his or his wife’s lives and the hassle of money and disputing houses and cars and assets far too draining.

“i don’t believe i’ve ever met them,” seonghwa says, pulling into the store parking lot to see it’s less crowded than he suspected it’d be. “what do they do?”

you couldn’t imagine anything more unbearable than disclosing to your friend’s hot dad who you may or may not have feelings for about the messed up relationship with your parents.

it just screams daddy issues, which might say a lot about your very attraction to him in the first place.

“they run a little restaurant back in my home town. it’s about three hours from campus, which is why i don’t really go home for breaks.”

seonghwa hums lowly, nodding his head as he looks at you at a stop sign.

you’re unnerved by the way his eyes roam you, like he can see signs of you being uncomfortable about your parents and wants to know why - but why would he care? you’re only his daughter’s roommate.

“do you miss seeing them?”

you lick over your lips nervously, watching as his eyes darken every so slightly.

he watches each and every of your movements carefully, so in tune with your reactions and breaths you can just feel yourself getting more and more worked up.

not in the slightest, you wanna say. i’ll probably never see them again and have no qualms about it, mr. park.

“i suppose,” you mutter, shrugging your shoulders as you apprehensively meet his gaze.

“you suppose?” he asks, concern etched on his face. “when was the time you’ve seen them? since your freshmen year?”

you avert your gaze as your teeth sink into your bottom lip, in no way wanting to have this discussion at ten a.m. when, much to your pleasure, an impatient car behind beeps at seonghwa’s mercedes.

his dark eyes move to the rearview mirror, narrowed and irritated in a way you can’t help but think is sexy, before he puts his foot off the break and turns into the parking lot.

“i think this person’s leaving,” you mutter when you notice another car go in reverse, seonghwa snatching the spot before the impatient, crotchety lady behind him could steal it.

you can’t help but smirk as seonghwa eyes her when you get out of the car, giving him a look that’s half judgmental and half amused.

“what? she beeped at me.”

“aren’t you supposed to be, like, an adult?”

he rolls his eyes as he takes a cart from the pile, nodding his head for you to go in front and “stop talking back to an elder.”

you can’t help but smirk at his playfulness, taking your spot in the front and pretending as if you always move your hips this much when you walk casually; you would’ve felt embarrassed, had you not turned around a few moments later to see his eyes already on you.

“where to first, mr. park?”

he has to bite back the groan threatening to leave his mouth, reminding himself to keep himself in check this month - starting tomorrow.

“depends, y/n,” he hums, voice far too deep and sultry to be surrounded by innocent bystanders in the grocery store. “what do you want?”

words are caught in your throat and you can only stare dumbly, your plan quickly back firing as he appears to do the same - but it’s gotta be in your head, right?

regardless, it quickly humbles you in the form of a small, unsure shrug.

it’s how you two start walking up and down the aisles, seonghwa putting in what he remembers and items on his mental list while also insisting you put in anything you want.

your arms bump ever so often, softly apologizing and acknowledging it the first few times before you both realize it may be happening on purpose.

you stick close to him when the aisles get tight and crowded, his deep voice telling you to “go ahead,” causing you to swallow shakily. you feel the presence of his hand just a few inches from your hips, lingering and hovering but never fully touching.

it’s finally when you’re in the bread aisle, seonghwa a few feet away talking to the man at the bakery counter, that you decide to put something in the cart.

you would usually never accept someone’s offer to buy you something, already feeling bad about staying with them rent free and eating their meals without compensating.

but the brioche loaf brand is one of your favorites, only sold on occasion at the corner store near campus.

you press up on your tippy toes to grab the bag of bread, stretching your arm up with all your might. the plastic slips through your fingers just as you’re about to snatch it down, letting out an annoyed huff as you pulled down your sweater dress.

you mumble your annoyances before trying again, back on the tips of your toes with your arm raising when you feel a hand on the small of your back.

it’s large and warm and seeping through the thin material of your burgundy dress, a snappy protest about to leave your mouth when you catch mr. park’s face in your peripheral.

there’s a content look on his face as he takes the bag with ease, holding it above your head as his hand moves from your back to your waist with a gentle touch.

you look at him with wide eyes and a pounding heart, his hand on your waist so foreign and strange but... good. something you didn’t even realize you’d been craving until it happened.

the strength and warmth of his hand, though if you think about it just enough, you can feel the weight of his wedding band through the fabric.

“is this what you wanted?”

his voice is deep and low as he speaks to you and you alone, your eyes raising to see him staring down at you. you can’t make out the expression in them, just the darkness in his eyes and the frantic beating of your heart.

you can’t even being to understand the context of his words right now because, yes, this is exactly what you’ve wanted - but he doesn’t know that, right?

“w-what?”

he can’t help the smirk that crosses his face, all sorts of pride and satisfaction and arousal coursing through his veins at your current disposition.

“the bread,” he says, stepping back and holding it out to you. “is this the one you wanted?”

your eyes narrow as you look at him, the smirk on his face, the amusement in his gaze, the playfulness that’s radiating off him - is he fucking with you?

“oh... i... yes,” you finally say, coming to your senses and not allowing yourself to think this way anymore. “that’s the one. i hope it’s okay.”

“of course,” he hums, placing the bread in the cart before going back to the front handles. “you can get anything you want, i already told you that.”

you nod dumbly as you follow beside him, seonghwa picking more things off the shelves and muttering the list to himself as you try to get your shit together.

because yes, you’re attracted to him and yes, you’ve found yourself alone with him for more than two days in a row and yes, there’s been some lingering looks and touches but that doesn’t mean anything.

you can’t let your own deluded thoughts and desires get in the way of reality.

the reality that he’s your friend and roommate’s married father and you’re a college student. he doesn’t want you just as much as you shouldn’t want him so what’s the problem here?

maybe it’s that you’re a 22-year-old woman who’s only been on a handful of dates.

that the last time you made out with someone was when you were drunk and dared to kiss the first guy that walked through the bar (luckily, somewhat attractive and surprisingly polite).

that, maybe, you’re so horribly touch-starved and aching for affection, you’re trying to find it in a hot father figure who’s just as kind as he sexy - and that, you think, is the second most tragic thing here.

because the first would absolutely be thinking that any of this, any of these stares or touches or coincidences of eunbi leaving you two alone, means something.

means that maybe this break is for you two is create an attraction and build some sort of bond and-

“y/n.”

you’re barely able to register seonghwa’s voice before his arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling your body into his taller one and having you pressed up right against him.

you were so lost in thought of him that you didn’t see the older women skirting her cart around the aisle quickly, phone pressed to her ear as she yells to her husband about the christmas ham.

you’re not even sure if she shoots you a look of sorrow or utters any apology, too consumed and distracted by the feeling and proximity of mr. park.

his arm wrapped around you, your body pressed flush up against him, his neck craned down to look at you with a building... something in his eyes. playfulness and teasing but also something darker, something that makes your stomach swoop and renders you unable to move.

“are you always so clumsy and distracted?” he mumbles lowly, his deep voice quiet for only you two to hear - like he knows even in a sea of strangers, he has to keep these interactions quiet.

“what would you do if i wasn’t here to help you, y/n?”

i wouldn’t have been distracted in the first place, you’re tempted to say - but you certainly don’t wanna open that can of worms, especially not in the middle of this grocery store with the way your heart is pounding.

“i... i’m sorry, i was distracted,” you mutter, playing up the damsel in distress just a little bit. “my mistake, mr. park.”

he licks over his lips, swearing his name just being spoken has never effected him like this. he doesn’t even know where this attraction came from, seeing you leave the dorm building yesterday morning and something in his body jumping at the sight of you.

maybe it’s just showing how unhappy he really is with his life, living day to day to just work. hang out with his friends and go to sleep alone - he doesn’t remember the last time his wife touched him, looked at him like she wanted him or made any move to be with him.

he just knows that you showed up, looking so pretty and wide-eyed and coy, and is now about to lose his mind.

“it’s alright,” he says, hoping you don’t hear the thick tension he hears in his own voice, like he’s some idiotic, hormonal young boy. “i think we only have a few more aisles left, anyway.”

he plucks the remaining items off the shelves before you both make your way to the self check-out, him scanning and you bagging because “eunbi says if my career as a photographer fails, i could be the best grocery bagger ever.”

“that’s just because she puts the bread on the bottom,” seonghwa mutters, a smile on your face as you nod your head - she squished one too many of your brioche loafs before you realized bagging just wasn’t for her.

your fingers graze ever so often, the coldness of his tips a stark contrast to your warmer ones.

a particularly big, bulk bag of vegetables proves to be a challenge for you, working through the packed bag with some difficulty. you let out an annoyed groan as you play a dangerous game of tetris, trying not to rip open the brown paper bag.

you finally get the box inside, a little bit prouder than you care to admit, when your precious brioche loaf is dropped right atop. you look up at seonghwa to see him already apologizing, your brow raised as you look at the older man in confusion.

did he think your hand was out? why would he just throw the food at you?

but it’s only when you feel a little more air than normal on your chest that you see what could’ve possibly caused the distraction, the white lace from your bra sticking out.

your cleavage in this dress was hidden for the most part, only becoming a little more obvious when you moved around or packed a shitload of groceries. it makes you bite back a smirk as you put two and two together, looking up to see his eyes still lingering over you.

two can play at this game mr. park.

“mr. park,” you begin, feigning a certain kind of innocence as you place your bread atop the other groceries and finally look up at him. “are you always so clumsy?”

it takes a few seconds for a smile to pull at his lips, the tick in his jaw not going unnoticed to you - so maybe this wasn’t all in your head. maybe he wants you too... possibly.

“you’re funny, y/n,” he mumbles, a smile pulling at your lips as he takes out his black card. “i guess i was distracted, too.”

you swallow the lump in your throat as you feel the slightest hint of arousal run through you, shaking it off and letting out a forced, girlish chuckle.

you pack the car a few minutes later without any lingering eyes or touches, seonghwa telling you about the meals they plan on cooking for christmas.

they usually don’t make their own food for holidays but decided to have a more traditional set up for you and eunbi’s arrival - he also hasn’t cooked a meal for his family in god knows how long.

“that’ll be great, thank you,” you tell him, clicking your seatbelt in as he backs out the spot. “i’m kind of a picky eater but i’ll eat anything you guys provide me.”

“and you have the whole brioche loaf,” seonghwa says, a giggle leaving your mouth as you nod your head.

“true. it’s really good.”

“i’ve never tried, perhaps you’d be willing to-”

his wife’s name popping up on his car dashboard acts as a way to bring you back to reality, brings a certain kind of silence over the both of you for a few seconds.

like he wasn’t just rubbing his body against yours and you weren’t just flirting with him in the form of smirking lips and snarky comments.

you watch a twinge of annoyance behind seonghwa’s eyes, gaze roaming over the screen as if he’s in contemplation before muttering “one second.”

“hello?”

“where are you?” her voice snaps in annoyance, “i told you we had that board meeting at one.”

“and it’s only noon,” his deep voice mumbles, not matching her level of irritation but sounding a whole lot different than a few seconds ago. “me and y/n are coming back now.”

“y/n?” she spats, like it’s a disgusting piece of food she wouldn’t dare put in her mouth. “what about eunbi?”

“she went off with jiwoon before i could get her in the car.”

“so it was only you two?” she asks, the snide judgment and underlying tone in her voice causing your stomach to churn. “did she ask you to buy a bunch of-”

“i’ll be home in twenty and then be on my way over,” he says, cutting her off and hanging up before she can even get another word you.

your stomach churns and a sick feeling comes over you, her utter dislike and disdain for you causing you to bite your lip.

because not only does she not like you to be with her daughter, she doesn’t want you with her husband (although, you suppose, you can’t really blame her for that one).

“i’m sorry about that,” seonghwa winces, the silence lingering between you two heavy. “you could’ve gotten anything you wanted, y/n. this is your christmas too. don’t feel bad about anything, okay?”

you swallow the lump in your throat, your gaze moving to his as he stops at the red light.

your eyes lingering over his and his doing the very same, hand twitching to reach out and move the piece of hair from your slightly flushed face.

and there was something about the way you were both looking at each other, eyes so focused and unwavering and honest, that had you thinking maybe all of this wasn’t in your heads.

but it didn’t mean either of you could act on it - they were just... feelings of lust and wonder and all things forbidden, not seriously believing that a relationship like this could unfold right under the nose of his wife, his daughter and your roommate.

unless the pull was so desperate.

so overwhelming and all-consuming and present between the both of you, little moments couldn’t help but happen.

strike one:

with none other than eunbi as a distraction, the girl promising she wasn’t gonna leave you alone anymore, you were able to take your mind off everything.

the tension-filled, heart pounding moments with mr. park that felt just as wrong as they did right.

you spent a few nights going out with her, jiwoon and all of their high school friends, a surprisingly nice group of young adults who you got along well with.

they were loud and crazy and did far too many shots but they also seemed to be genuinely kind. even the boy who was flirting with you all night, handsome and tall with pretty dark eyes, acted as a good distraction.

grinding up against him as the music pounded throughout the bar, alcohol coursing through your veins allowing you to forget about the older man who’s been living in your head for almost a week now.

“how have i never met you before, y/n?” the boy mumbled lowly in your ear, your head against his shoulder carelessly.

but it was right there in that moment, him saying your name, that the moment was over.

because it just didn’t sound like seonghwa, as delusional as that was.

it didn’t get your heart racing or lips quirking the same way it did when you heard the older man say it. the smile attached to his handsome, mature face and the deep, lowly spoken tone that always held a hint of teasing and sincerity.

“but danny really is so freakin’ nice!” eunbi squeals to you on christmas eve, the two of you in her immaculately white and modern kitchen prepping the chocolate chip cookie cough for tomorrow.

“and you two seemed to be getting along, i saw your ass all up on him.”

“eunbi, that wasn’t me. that was the vodka. i don’t know who that girl was.”

she throws her head back as a loud chuckle leaves her, telling you again that she warned you her snobby, rich little friends have been able to handle their liquor since middle school.

it’s how they cope, she had said, unloved kids with more money than god learning to deal with the world of limitless funds and minimal parental supervision.

“well he hasn’t stopped asking me about you, you know,” she hums, her eyebrows quirked suggestively as she mixes the bowl of ingredients lazily.

“and not just because of your newfound grinding skills, which by the way, are usually learned by the tenth grade.”

your eyes narrow at her comment, throwing a small ball of dough at her that she, impressively, catches in her mouth.

“he really is just, like, so taken by you, y/n. seriously. i told him that you’re graduating this year with a degree in photography and he nearly came in his pants. he loves the artsy girls.”

“you are so vile,” you snort out, shaking your head at the girl sitting criss-crossed on the counter. “and stop saying that. we both know i’m not graduating this year,” you mumble, her face falling pathetically.

“i told you we’re gonna find a way,” she whines lowly, looking at you with all kinds of sympathy and sadness in her eyes - she would offer to pay for you, if she didn’t think you would smack her upside the head.

“oh and what? is my new boyfriend danny gonna do that for me?”

“in exchange for more grinding and a photoshoot, i think. do you want me to try?”

she lets out another giggle despite the way you pinch her leg, peeking inside the bowl with a surprising amount of pride.

"this looks good,” you mumble, swiping your finger to collect some of the chocolate dough.

“hey!” she whines brattily, thrusting a spoon toward your hand just a second too late.

“why are you whining in here like a child, eunbi?” seonghwa asks, walking through the entryway and the large, white island in the center. “what are you making? please don’t burn the house down.”

“haha dad, you’re so funny,” she mocks sarcastically, jumping down from the counter with her hands on her hips. “where are the baking sheets?”

a simple shrug from her father causes her to roll her eyes, grumbling about how she was really trying to avoid her bitch of a mother today. he holds back his smirk, about to reprimand her before she’s out the kitchen and shouting for her mother upstairs.

it’s only you and seonghwa in the kitchen now, a heavy silence in the air as you stand there dumbly - bowl beside you, cookie dough adorning the top of your finger.

“what are you girls making?” he finally asks, his body moving closer and closer causing you to swallow.

“i... uh, cookie dough. for tomorrow,” you say, lifting your finger and wiggling the tip full of batter. “chocolate chip.”

his eyes move to your finger before grazing over your mouth, his tongue peeking out ever so slightly as he reminds himself to act right.

he hasn’t been alone with you since that day at the food store, just seeing you in passing in the hallways or outside the house as you and eunbi went to and fro.

he hears your giggles at night and tired groans in the morning, quietly yelling at his daughter to wake up and get her ass out of bed.

and he knows it’s probably for the better, that you two don’t find yourselves alone with each other, but he can’t help but feel a rush of excitement right now.

you watch as he moves closer, with the same wide-eyed look you’ve been giving him since he first saw you in your apartment weeks ago.

“ahh, you’re making it from scratch? that’s ambitious.”

“yeah, we googled a recipe,” you tell him, finger still beside you in the air.

you don’t know what causes you to be so bold, maybe him attempting to carry out a normal conversation even though he’s looking at you with so much lust and desire, but you can’t stop once you start.

“how’s it taste?” he asks, his voice deep and slightly strained as he nods his head toward your finger.

you don’t even bat an eye as you slip the tip of your finger in your mouth slowly, swirling your tongue around as you take up all the dough on your skin.

it’s sweeter than you originally thought it’d be but it tastes good nonetheless, keeping your eyes on him as you reamin as innocent and unassuming as possible.

“it’s good,” you say, dropping your finger like you didn’t just make a show of licking and sucking it. “i like it better raw.”

you don’t even realize your words until you see the fleeting look on his face, tongue swiping across his lip and eyes hardening. they roam you so slowly and darkly, you can’t control the growing butterflies and swooping in your lower stomach.

“mm, me too,” he hums lowly, the hardening of his cock in his pants something he hasn’t felt in forever. it’s taking everything in him to control himself, from his eyes popping out of his head to letting out the deepest of growls in the back of his throat.

“do you want some?” you ask, cocking your head to the side questioningly.

he has to desperately hold on to his composure, not think about how easy it’d be to pin you against the cabinet right behind you. take just a few steps closer, have your back against the cold granite and let you feel just how much he wants some.

but he has to play it cool, push down these building desires and ignore your teasing because he’s almost fucking positive that’s what’s happening here.

“want some what?” he asks, his voice lowering just a tad.

he hasn’t played a game like this since college, watching as your eyes widen and brow quirks up.

but he sees that’s exactly what it is when you turn around and face the bowl of cookie dough to him, a smile just as sweet as the cookies on your face.

“cookie dough. before we put them in the oven and possibly burn them.”

the breathy chuckle he lets out leaves your stomach in shambles, his tongue peeking out and poking the inside of his cheek causing a swooping sensation to flood through you.

but before he can even think to say anything, before your eyes can look over his body and make you feel even more warm and bothered, eunbi floats back in and fiddles in the cabinets for the baking sheets.

“that woman is too much, i swear,” she grunts, whipping out the materials quickly before her head snaps to her father. “why are you still here?”

“i wanted some cookies. and to ensure y/n won’t allow you do burn down the kitchen.”

“it was one time, dad, and an accident. how many times do i have to defend myself in this house?”

you let out a giggle as you look from eunbi to seonghwa, your roommate turning her back to set up the practice baking session.

“let’s go bitch! i hope we didn’t fuck this up.”

seonghwa’s eyes roam over you for a few more moments, his tongue swiping across his lips before, finally, leaving the kitchen with his dick hard as a rock.

strike two:

christmas consisted of successful cookies per your and eunbi’s homemade batch, passive aggressive comments from mrs. park about your degree and a whole fuck ton of sexual energy between you and seonghwa.

you could almost always feel when his gaze was boring into you, when you got up to take more mashed potatoes or kept your attention on eunbi as she told her parents about what job she wants to start at next semester.

it’s also when eunbi almost let it slip about your scholarships, had you not viciously pinched her arm and caused a pained cry to leave her mouth - if you ever thought jiwoon was gonna verbally assault you, it was certainly in that moment.

“why did you pinch me so hard?” she whined later that night, jiwoon passed out on the couch after five too many homemade cookies. “look at my bruise.”

a genuine frown crosses your lips as you look at her arm, rubbing her skin gently as you mumble your soft spoken apologies.

“i’m sorry but i just... i didn’t want your mom to know that,” you say back just as whiney and pathetic. “she already thinks i’m an incompetent idiot. knowing i have to wait a whole year because i’m broke is just too embarrassing.”

it’s an admission that, while eunbi already suspected that, still makes her feel bad - it nearly makes her wanna cry, that you don’t feel welcomed and loved in her home because her mom has to be a judgmental bitch.

“y/n...”

“bi, it’s fine, oh, my god do not cry right now,” you grumble, flicking her in the head lightly.

“i just feel bad,” she cries lowly, moving hrself closer to you and away from her boyfried. “it’s not fair, y/n. you worked so hard and now you have to wait. how could they do this to you?”

a small, touched smile crosses your face at eunbi as you shake your head, dabbing at her watery eyes.

if jiwoon wakes up, he’s literally gonna beat my ass,” you say, smiling when a wet giggle leaves eunbi; you don’t want this time to be sad or upsetting. “i thought he was gonna hit me at dinner.”

“okay if he’s hitting anything, it’s gonna be my-”

“no. no, no, no.”

the snort that leaves her mouth doesn’t help the sinking feeling in her stomach, looking at you with a frown still adorning her face.

“i’m sorry if my mom’s making you feel uncomfortable. she does it to every single person ever and i don’t-”

“it’s fine, please stop apologizing for her,” you say, the sinking reminder in the back of your mind that seonghwa had been doing the very same thing - apologizing for that woman.

“i know she’s stressing you out, too. we’re in it together.”

“that’s true,” she sighs, letting out a long, dramatic groan before resting her head on your shoulder. “i’m so bloated, i don’t think i’m ever gonna be able to eat again.”

and it was funny that, days after the holiday, eunbi was still convinced that she was bloated from christmas dinner.

“babe, i don’t even think that’s possible,” jiwoon consoled her, you and him sitting in her room as she gets ready to go down to the pool.

because, naturally, like everyone in this godforsaken rich town, they get ready to go to the pool that’s inside of their homes; when eunbi told you to pack a bathing suit back at your apartment, you looked at her like she was insane.

until she clarified that her pool is heated and, conveniently, indoors.

“just through the backyard,” she had said - and she truly meant it.

just a few yards away from the main deck area, with floor to ceiling glass windows that showcase the extravagant landscaping and, of course, the outdoor pool and jacuzzi just a few feet away.

“eunbi, this is insane,” you say, marveling at the sight before you.

“don’t you wish you came sooner?” she asks with a wink, your eyes rolling as you place down your towel.

you had the option to bring two bathing suits - a skimpy black one you don’t remember being so scandalous or a red one you remember eunbi insisting you buy last summer.

and you just knew it was because danny was coming, currently showcasing his impressive eight pack that, truly, just doesn’t do it for you - maybe if he was twenty years older, apparently, and somebody’s father and husband.

you shake the thoughts out of your head, walking a few steps toward the pool before eunbi tackles you from behind. you both land with a loud splash, followed by the excited shouts and loud splashes of her other friends.

you’d be lying if you said you could remember the last time you had this much fun, splashing and giggling and acting so carefree despite the many challenges you’ll have to face soon.

but that’s not any of your concern right now, currently sitting atop danny’s shoulders and trying to knock down eunbi in a game of chicken.

“you little bitch! get your nails out of me!”

“coming from the girl who literally just tried to choke me two seconds ago!”

“like it’s your first time being choked!”

and you don’t know whether jiwoon was shocked by you saying that statement or the fact that his girlfriend exposes all of her sexual kinks to you but alas, it did the trick in sealing you a victory.

a smug smile on your face as danny jumps up and down in excitement, your body bouncing and nearly falling over him had you not gripped onto his shoulders.

it’s at that time eunbi pops up from the water, hair a soaking mess and mascara running down her face. she’s about to open her mouth, probably to yell at you, before a volleyball is thrown through the air and just misses her face.

instead, it hits danny square in the head. the boy letting out a yelp before you promptly fall backwards in the water, hearing eunbi’s shrill squeal and giggle on your way down.

you pop up and throw her a dirty look, danny rubbing at the back of his side before apologizing profusely.

“it’s okay,” you giggle out, about to say you shouldn’t have been up there for so long before eunbi’s squealing in the air.

“dad, what the hell kind of aim was that!”

you feel your body stiffen before you quickly shoot around, none another than mr. park standing there looking as handsome as ever.

he puts the young men around you to shame, good-looking, muscular college boys who anyone in their right mind would find attractive - but they just don’t beat him.

his striking eyes or tall, lean stature or the fact that he’s just so fucking-

“got worse with age, bi, what can i say?” he chuckles, extra white fluffy towels in his hold that he places on the chair. “sorry, danny.”

seonghwa’s known danny for a few years now, one of jiwoon’s friends who seems... alright. not a bad guy but also not a good guy - just kind of there; but it didn’t occur to the man just how much he was bothered by him until he saw you on his shoulders.

because he could’ve put you in danger, of course. put you in danger at his house where if things got bad, he’d be responsible; as for the ball, it merely slipped from his finger tips.

“no problem mr. park,” the kid smiles, the other friends gathering around and looking at him expectantly. “we’re gonna play a round of volleyball. you in?”

“no. no dads allowed,” eunbi whines, seonghwa rolling his eyes at his bratty adult daughter.

“why not? because i’m better than all of you, eunbi?”

“oh please,” she grumbles lowly, rolling her eyes and grabbing you to lead you toward the stairs. “you know what, we’re going in the hot tub anyway. since she decided to rock my shit in chicken. enjoy my father traitors,” eunbi grumbles to jiwoon and his friends.

“i did not,” you protest weakly, feeling two pairs of eyes on you as you make your way out of the pool with your friend.

the first thing that strikes seonghwa, apart from the major twitch in his pants, is how skimpy your bikini is.

red bottoms with thin straps holding it up, a matching red top showcasing cleavage and beauty marks on your chest and all the things that are proving to drive him fucking crazy upon seeing you every day.

it’s taking everything in him to control the growing ache in his shorts, your eyes looking at him so coyly and attentively that you’re ignoring the college boy gawking at you right in front of him.

there’s a certain sort of twisted pride in his chest, you giving him attention and seemingly reciprocating his interest, when there’s someone younger right there for you.

younger and unmarried and more suitable for you. someone you can actually be with where it wouldn’t be considered dirty or wrong or secretive; but maybe that’s why you’re both drawn to it in the first place.

that, and because you’re both really hot.

“he’s literally hot, y/n! why don’t you like him?” eunbi whines to you, the two of you sitting across from one another in the hot tub outside.

the december air is crisp but feels nice comapred to the steaming water you’re gratefully submerged in. anything to take you away from mr. park shirtless and wet in the pool right now.

“i do like him, bi,” you mutter, trying your best to convince her and now seem suspicious.

“okay, yeah, as a person but who cares about that!” she whines, flopping her hands dramatically in the water. “you don’t want him to rail you.”

“eunbi!” you squeak, splashing in her direction as a warm, embarrassed blush rises to your cheeks.

“i’m serious y/n. you’ve never been railed before and danny’s such a good option. he’s hot and he’s sweet and he’s so pathetically into you, it’s a little sick.”

you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, shooting her a look that screams can we please not talk about this because you don’t know how much i actually wanna be railed by your father so let’s stop this discussion.

but she only rolls her eyes, moving herself closer to you so she can tug at your arm annoyingly.

“is he just not your type?” she questions, her eyebrows pulling together in confusion for a few moments before utter shock crosses her face.

“wait, what is your type? it’s... men, right? have i been hooking you up with the wrong gender this whole time?” she asks in disbelief, “could we have been hooking up this whole time?”

you press your lips together so you don’t burst out laughing, dryly replying “yes, eunbi, i’m into men.”

but the more you think about it, the more you think maybe you don’t have a type.

“and i’ve... never really thought about it before, to be honest. i just know i’m not into like... frat guys or whatever.”

because any party you’d been to, any douchey college guy wearing a backwards hat or cut off shirt, you had never been more disinterested. you couldn’t ever picture yourself falling for someone like that, romantically or sexually.

the one time you remember thinking someone was hot was when you took film and lit with your 31-year-old professor.

“so older guys?” eunbi concludes after hearing that, a smirk on her face as she raises her eyebrows playfully. “we gotta scope out some golf courses or retirement homes?”

“please,” you scoff, a giggle leaving her mouth as she throws her head back gleefully.

“okay, really though, i’ll tell danny you’re not interested and to stop trying so hard if you’re really not interested.”

but maybe danny as a distraction will be good.

will make you see that, perhaps, someone single and your own age and not your best friend’s father will be good thing for you to explore.

so you shrug lightheartedly, the smirk on your face causing eunbi to let out a low “oooh shit.”

you look over at her and your smile only widens when she knocks your shoulder, saying that you’re looking to be a play girl and drain a rich, lovesick man of some christmas presents.

“yeah, right! why drain a rich man when i can drain my best friend,” you tease, looking around her yard and still in astonishment that this is really her life. “i mean, two pools? is that really necessary?”

“three actually. there’s one behind the guest house on the other side. a small one. very humble.”

“oh, a small one, okay. great.”

she lets out another giggle, the two of you talking over plans for new years eve.

you might go up to jiwoon’s parents house in the mountains for the weekend, spend the time drinking with the small group of friends you’ve come to genuinely like over these past few weeks.

“it’s only two hours away so it won’t be that bad either,” she says, getting up to shake the hot water off her arms. “i’ll be right back, i have to pee.”

you nod your head, grateful she didn’t piss in the pool and allowing yourself to sit there, eyes closed, body relaxed, in the silence.

you can hear the faint screams of the boys from the indoor pool area and the swish of the hot tub filter, peeking open your eyes when, suddenly, you think you hear a boom of thunder in the distance.

you watch the sky darkening and clouds coming in, signaling a storm is coming in soon and quick. a sigh leaves your mouth, enjoying your last few moments of peace before finally standing in the hot tub.

the crisp winter air blows and sends goosebumps up your arms, a shiver running through your body as you attempt to splash some hot water on your upper body.

you don’t know how you know someone’s watching you but you do, some sort of strange intuition within you looking up to see none other than mr. park standing a few feet away from the hot tub.

his dark hair is wet and hanging in his face, swimming trunks soaked and his exposed chest still dripping chlorine water.

you press your lips together as your eyes roam his chest, a hint of abs on his lean stomach that causes a small, strangled groan to leave your mouth - you will never understand how this man is pushing 40.

but the same way you’re looking at him, he’s looking at you.

water covering your body, currently hunched over trying to warm the rest of your body; but it’s when you stand he really starts to gawk, your figure standing full and tall and giving him a perfect view of your hardening nipples from the cold crisp air.

you can see the lust in his eyes the same way you know he can and you’re about to do something to just make him crack. mistakingly untie your bottoms, catching them at the last second so he thinks he’s about to get a peak.

or undo the back of your top and pout at him, ask him to please tie it back for you because it’s way too hard to reach behind and do it yourself.

or maybe you’ll just drop to your knees right there, try to see if there’s any hint of a bulge in his swimming trunk bottoms and-

his body is gone just as fast as he arrived, confusion covering your face before you shake your head of your perverted thoughts - dropping to your knees when his daughter and wife are right here, what the fuck is wrong with you today?

you blame eunbi, all her talk about getting railed when you’ve been wanting to jump her father’s bones.

you carefully make your way out of the hot tub, not wanting to eat shit and scarp your leg on the concrete.

it feels like you’re about to freeze in the cold, another shiver wracking your body before you turn to stick your cold, goosebump-ridden arms back in the hot tub. it warms you for just a few seconds, a low, satisfied hum leaving your mouth before you hear footsteps coming up from behind you.

something in you tells you it’s him again.

whether it be the way your body heats up and feels prickly, the obvious feeling of eyes burning into your exposed back causing you to remain still and oblivious.

but you can longer remain oblivious a few seconds later, when a tall body is just a few inches away from completely pressing against you.

“you forgot a towel,” is all he says, placing it on the wet rim of the hot tub.

when he leans forward to place the white towel down, he’s careful and meticulous with his movements. brushing up against you every so slightly and carefully that you can feel his hard bulge on your ass for a few seconds too long.

at first you think you’re crazy, feeling what you were trying to envision in your head, but then you absolutely know it there’s.

you can feel the wetness from his bathing suit on your legs, his cock right there resting on the thin, red fabric of your bikini bottoms and if you were as weak as you felt inside, if he stayed there just a little bit longer, a moan would’ve absolutely left your mouth.

if you pushed back just a little to feel more of his cock on you, grind your ass his hardness just enough to hear him let out a low groan or maybe curse a little.

but he moves away, almost like he knew the perfect amount of time before that happened and almost like he did it by accident - but when you turn around and see the look in his eyes, you know it wasn’t.

the same way he can see a palpable desire and surprise and tension in your gaze, causing him to suppress a growing smirk. it makes you wanna tease him back in whatever way you can but you know that eunbi’s due back from the bathroom at any moment.

so you only cock your head to the side, lick over your lower lip carefully as you grasp the towel in your hands gently.

“thank you, mr. park,” you say, your voice as airy and sweet as you can possibly make it without sounding like an idiot.

“you’re welcome, y/n,” he says, taking a few steps back as his eyes lock on you. he stays there for a few moments until he hears the door to the pool house open.

you watch his lustful, dark expression change right then and there, a towel wrapping around his lower body and his face stretching into a happy, father-approved look.

“so you’re good with anything for dinner, y/n?” he asks, his voice loud and clear enough for his approaching daughter to hear. “i know you mentioned you were picky.”

“let’s get pizza!” eunbi screeches through the air, telling seonghwa that everyone’s staying over and they’ll need at least four boxes.

but you can’t even think about pizza right now, not when this moment right here is solidifying the crazy thought in your head that your best friend’s dad wants you just as much as you want him.

you called him out later that night around one a.m., after eunbi and jiwoon were the last to pass out to your scary movie marathon.

the others were sprawled out on the basement floor, an intricate array of blankets and pillows on the floor that you attempted to weave through, both, skillfully and quietly.

there was a dryness in your throat that could only be settled by a cold glass of water, making your way through the house quietly and praying you don’t run into mrs. park.

she’s been just as passive aggressive as she usually is in front of people so you could never imagine being alone with her. wondering what the hell she’d say to you without seonghwa and eunbi as buffers.

you were relieved when the lights were off in the kitchen, padding your way to the fridge to take out a bottle of water. you twist and turn the cap off to gulp down the cold liquid in the refrigerator light, a quiet gasp leaving you as your thirst is quenched.

you briefly consider going up to eunbi’s room to sleep tonight, not sure how you feel about being squished in with eunbi and jiwoon cuddling on the couch, when the light suddenly flicks off.

it causes you to freeze and halt all thoughts, fear running through you for all three seconds before you see seonghwa’s tall, familiar figure pass you. you watch him carefully in the dim light of the fridge, his shirtless chest yet again right in front of your face.

leaned back against the counter across from you, giving you a perfect view of his toned chest and gray sweatpants.

“midnight snack?” he asks, the smirk on his face almost causing you to roll your eyes.

instead, your lips quirk into a small smile. raising your water bottle by your head and shaking it, the water swishing in your pounding ears.

“just water,” you respond quietly, matching his low tone. “i hope that’s okay.”

“that you took water? of course, y/n,” he says, amusement in his gaze as he looks you over.

you’re freshly showered and in a pair of pajamas, matching pink sets that eunbi got you for christmas one year - he remembers because he was with her when she bought it.

a soft smile crosses your face, your back getting cold from the open fridge but not daring to move a muscle. not with him looking at you the way he is and with his body just a few feet away from you.

a silence lingers in the kitchen, you not sure why he’s looking at you and him waiting to see if you say something, before he bites the inside of his cheek.

“i wanted to say sorry about before.”

your eyebrow quirks up, interest so clearly peaked as you cock your head to the side.

“what do you mean?”

a smirk crosses his face as he watches you play dumb, head cocked and eyes wide and everything about you with such mock innocence, he thinks that’s what’s driving him the most crazy.

that you do this shit and say certain things with almost complete unawareness and innocence, if it weren’t for the hidden look of desire and teasing in your eyes.

“you know,” is all he says, his voice dipping and eyes twinging darker, it makes your lower stomach swoop.

a part of is positive, even if you ask, he’s not gonna say it aloud.

he’s not gonna say or acknowledge any of this aloud and make you guys play this game until you leave in a few weeks.

and then when you leave, unsure about your next prospects of college or education or even living arrangements, who knows if you’re ever gonna see him again.

so you only hum lowly, closing the fridge behind you and leaving you both in darkness. the only source of light is from the moon outside, lighting up half the kitchen from the large bay window.

it leaves you both incredibly exposed, anyone from the outside able to see the two seemingly innocent bodies standing toe to toe with each other; but they don’t see the lustful looks and eyes full of desire, both of you so entrapped by the other, it’s obvious with the tension in the air.

“oh, well, then... it’s okay, mr. park,” you say with a smile, taking a step back as your eyes roam his chest one last time. “i didn’t mind.”

you’re about to say goodnight when you see his arm reach out, shocked but oh, so ready ready to give into your desire and feel your body crash against his or your lips connect finally.

moan into his mouth and feel more of his hardness against you - but he only takes the water from your hand, presses his mouth against the plastic rim and swigs down a big gulp.

you watch with wide eyes as his adam’s apple bobs in the moonlight, head tipped back and body perched calmly on the counter as he takes a swig of your water bottle, spit exchanged and his mouth right where yours was.

he pulls back with an unreadable expression, licking the excess water from his lips before simply closing the cap, holding out the bottle and smiling at you with the most wise-ass smirk you’ve ever seen, you’re not sure how you’re ever gonna one up this man.

"sweet dreams, y/n.”

strike 3:

your new years weekend get away turned into an extended stay that consisted of sleeping on a lumpy air mattress, five extra guests and so much alcohol, you’re positive you’re still hungover three days later.

“it wasn’t that... we only did a... i mean it wasn’t like we were....” eunbi says, the two of you laying on her bed nursing headaches and body aches to the severest degree.

“okay, it was pretty bad. we were kind of rowdy and out of control.”

“you don’t say?” you grumble, never one to black out and get that shit faced and then doing it nearly every night - maybe to deal with danny’s pathetic soft looks or whispered sweet nothings to you.

“nothing is working either. not advil or water or greasy food. we might’ve fucked ourselves for life, bi.”

but if there’s one thing that always helped for eunbi, it was a nice, long bath. steaming hot water that burned her skin and the prettiest bath bombs to make the entire bathroom smell of strawberries and cream.

so even though you didn’t want to, nothing more comfortable than eunbi’s king size bed and warm, fluffy comforter, you allowed the girl to drag you to the bathroom down the hall to set up ‘your last resort, hangover paradise.’

it consisted of every type of bath bomb and lotion and bubble bath the luxurious could dream of, sending her out immediately when you saw her sneaking in with a glass of champagne.

“are you crazy?” you ask, dipping your toe in the water to test the temperature. “that’s what started this disaster.”

“fine, more for me!” she squeals happily, turning down the lights and pressing the bluetooth button for your phone’s music. “enjoy. i’ll see you in an hour, completely hangover free.”

“we’ll see about that,” you grumble, your words falling on deaf ears as she locks and closes the door to makes her way back to her ensuite.

and as much as you wanna give eunbi shit for her pompous tactics and techniques for everything in life, you have to say that this is certainly helping.

soaking in the steaming hot water, with cucumbers on your eyes and quiet music playing through the ceiling speakers. the jets in the tub also added another layer of relaxation to it, healing your sore muscles from days of waking up on a hard, wooden floor.

the mirrors were steamed and the room was boiling by the time you got out, stepping on the fuzzy bath mat and drying yourself off with a towel. you had tried not to get your hair wet but it proved useless, your relaxed body sinking further and further down until nearly your whole head was wet.

you stretch your arms above your head as you let out a content groan, feeling the best you’ve felt in three days and ready to take a nap.

but it’s at that moment, looking around the large steaming bathroom, that you realized you didn’t bring a change of clothes in. meaning you’ll know have to walk done the hall and into eunbi’s room in just a towel.

it’s fairly late, almost 11:30, so you’re hoping that her parents are in their rooms and fast asleep by now.

you peak your head out, feeling like a spy in a cheesy action movie as you look up and down the hall. you turn off the light once the coast is clear, walking quietly but quickly down to eunbi’s room - or wing, as it could be considered

you’re almost out of the gate, just a few more steps until you round the corner down eunbi’s hallway, when seonghwa’s tall figure is coming right up the stairs.

his head is down as he looks at his phone, still in his dress shirt and tie from his long day at work. you noticed that after the holidays, he’s been around the house less - working from home when he can but also needing to go into the office more often than not.

he’s at the top of the stairs when he finally notices your figure watching him, wrapped in a towel with a flush on your cheeks and your wet hair dripping on the floor.

it seems to be the thing to break him right now, not able to tear his eyes away or think of any fun, flirty comments to keep you from suppressing the need to roll your eyes.

because his days have been long and stressful and the only thing he needs right now is to just get off - and then there you are like something his prayers have answered, standing there quiet and awestruck at the sight of his loose tie and messy black hair he’s been running his hands through all day.

“h-hi, mr. park,” your quiet voice says, sweet and soft-spoken and utterly apologetic, like you’re embarrassed to be caught in just your towel - and he supposes that would make sense, to feel embarrassed about getting caught like this your friend’s father.

but he can’t find it in himself to care right now, two seconds away from dragging you down to his office so he can finally fuck you over his desk - but he knows that would be the worst decision in the world, for countless reasons.

“hi, y/n,” he grumbles back just as low, leant against the railing with a voice that sounds defeated and gruff.

“are you okay?” you ask, something about his voice and demeanor off.

he has to hold back a strangled laugh, his lips quirking up before he bites down on his lip.

“i’m... i’m fine, thanks. work’s just busy,” he says, a certain part of his chest warming at the fact you even asked - he knows his wife won’t when he walks in their bedroom in a few minutes.

“oh, okay,” you respond, twirling with the end of your towel nervously. “well... i’m sorry to hear that.”

he allows himself to let out a chuckle this time, shaking his head as he looks over your bare, wet face; you’re too pretty for your own good, he’s not even sure you realize just how pretty you are.

just how much he really wants you and just how much he’s coming to like seeing you in his house everyday.

“it’s alright, that’s why you gotta do something you love, right?” he quips, his long fingers up to recreate a camera, pressing down as if to snap a photo.

it cause you to let out a soft, genuine giggle, nodding your head and easing the slight embarrassment of him catching you in a towel.

“right,” you say with a smile, shy smiles and gazes shared until you finally look away in fear of your cheeks warming again.

but it doesn’t stop him from admiring the view of you, your bare face and exposed chest before the towel covers up all the parts he wants to so desperately explore.

he pictures dropping your towel and hearing it fall to the floor with a plop, take in the sight of your perky boobs and hard nipples in the air.

drop his mouth just a little bit to your neck, pressing small kisses against your skin as his fingers knead your nipples, all the quiet moans and breaths to make sure you two don’t get caught shooting right to his cock.

he probably wouldn’t be able to control himself, sliding a finger into you right then and there in the middle of the hallway, pressing your back against the wall to have you trapped against his larger body.

he’d pump his finger in and out of you slowly and tauntingly, hearing how wet you are and feeling how tight you are. it’d be similiar to how this past month has just been both of you taunting and teasing and beating around the bush, occasionally letting his fingers curl to his your g-spot or graze your sensitive clit.

and then he’d drop to his knees to taste you. make sure he sucks and licks and takes your clit in his warm mouth that you’re-

“i should get back to eunbi,” you finally say, breaking the silence and ripping him from his dirty, hidden fantasies. you can’t take the lust and desire in his eyes that you see when he looks at you, an painful ache building between your legs more and more.

“goodnight, mr. park.”

you nearly run into eunbi’s room and slam the door had you not seen her sleeping form, passed out right there in the middle of her bed wearing a baby pink robe.

you look beside her to see an extra one laid out, a silky lilac one that causes a small smile to cross your face.

you’ve never felt material like this on your skin, basking in the feeling of the smooth, silky material as you clean up her room quietly - both to tidy up and distract you from the ache in your legs and last encounter with her father.

for eunbi growing up with housekeepers and nannies her whole life, it always surprised you how clean and tidy your roommate was; the sink was never full of dishes and you alternated vacuuming the living room carpet.

but it’s obvious all of that is a facade because since the moment she got home, her messy ways have shown through - you find it endearing, though, and it’s all very eunbi: a homey, lived in mess of luxurious items and articles of clothing worth more than your childhood home.

the girl in question had moved to the right side in her sleep as you cleaned, a quiet chuckle leaving your mouth. you look to see both your water bottles are empty, deciding on the brave decision to go downstairs to grab two new ones.

the last time you’d done that, you thought for sure mr. park was gonna jump your bones - and you know you were gonna let him.

your mind is littered with memories of that night as you make your way through the dark house of twists and turns, carefully going down the stairs as you walk toward the kitchen.

there’s a room with beautiful double doors on your left, a room you’ve walked past hundreds of times throughout your stay here. eunbi told you it was her dad’s first floor office, where he usually worked and had his meetings from home.

the first thing you notice from down the hall is that the door is slightly cracked open, a peak in from the dimly lit kitchen showcasing some fancy decor of a globe.

as you make your way closer and closer, your ears are met with a quiet, strangled groan that causes you to stop in your tracks; your mind begins to race with a million different scenarios of what you could be walking past right now.

your first thought is that you’re about to see mr. and mrs. park in a very compromising position over his desk - and, as sick as it sounds, as delusional and crazy and absurd as it sounds, that prospect makes your stomach sink and twist painfully.

but that would be normal, you suppose; they’re a fucking married couple after all and seonghwa had seemed stressed from work. obviously he was gonna ask his wife to help calm him down and relax him.

get all of his stress out in the form of-

you shake your head before you can even think about it, forcing your feet to move past the office doors.

and it’s like you can’t even stop yourself from peeking in, confirming to see if your thoughts are correct and you’re about to be gutted, when you take in the sight before you.

seonghwa still in his loose tie and white dress shirt, pants around his ankles and his head thrown back in his office chair as his own hand jerks his cock off.

everything about it is dirty and wrong and you know you shouldn’t be looking in but you can’t stop.

you can’t stop watching the way his hand works around his cock expertly, long and thick and so fucking nice it nearly makes you drool. the thought of you on your knees before him, taking him in your mouth and licking and sucking around the tip, making you bite back a moan.

you can’t stop your eyes from looking at his face, his head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut with his neck on display - perfect for you to bite and give hickies, if you were on top straddling him.

you can’t stop the painful ache and wetness seeping in your thong as you watch him get off, his groans and grunts and heavy breaths making you wanna whine out in arousal.

and it’s that suppression right there, getting so worked up and horny over the sight of your peeping tina activities, that cause you to pull yourself away.

because as much as you don’t want to and as much as you wanna help him, you can’t.

you can only scramble into the kitchen and get water as fast and quiet as humanly possible, scurrying past the office and up the stairs with the stealthiness of a lion.

you can only lay in bed with the thoughts of your roommate’s father and the noises he makes, the sight of his cock and the hand movements replaying over and over in your mind.

and you realize that night, with only a few more days until you both have to leave for the spring semester, you can only hope to never see mr. park again.

let this flirtation and fascination and utterly screwed up infatuation with your roommate’s dad be nothing but a dirty memory you’ll keep to yourself for the rest of your life.

because if it’s not, if you have to see him again and have him in your daily life again, you won’t be able to hold yourself back.

your lust will turn deeper and you’ll find yourself in a much bigger issue than damp underwear and secret, forbidden moments with mr. park seonghwa.

you should’ve known with only two days left of your stay that eunbi was gonna let the news slip.

you were at least grateful for the fact that mrs. park had a charity ball with her clan of “botox getting, bitchy sounding gold diggers who need to desperately get laid,” successfully riding her of your last friday night dinner.

“so you girls don’t want a new apartment then?” seonghwa asked, glass of wine in his hand as he looks at the two of you questioningly. “that building’s looking for a new owner, eunbi, i think it’d be perfect for you both.”

“dad don’t be ridiculous, we can’t own the building!” eunbi says, swatting her dad playfully as she shovels a piece of food in her mouth. she’s casual and comfortable without her mom’s prying eyes and biting tone, her foot resting on the white fabric beneath her.

“and besides, i might be alone in there soon. we still don’t know if y/n is gonna be starting her-”

you kick the girl under the table roughly, her face pulling into a wince as a cry leaves her mouth.

“ow, y/n! what the he-”

but it’s upon seeing your white face and annoyed expression that she realizes what she said, her mouth falling open and silent as she looks at you apologetically.

“oh shit...”

you can only shoot her a pained, sarcastic smile, daringly looking at seonghwa who’s watching the two of you with a curious expression.

“what do you mean?”

silence hangs in the air, you and eunbi sharing side eyes and dejected looks with her dad before he cocks an eyebrow at the both of you.

“girls... what do you mean?” he asks, his voice deeper and more serious, taking on a dad-like tone eunbi isn’t used to hearing from her relaxed, playful father.

and that’s when, before eunbi can open her big mouth any further, you calmly and regretfully explain the situation with your scholarship.

how you got an e-mail a few months ago about alternate funding for the art department and that you were one of the many students who, while keeping up your end of requirements, could not be awarded money.

“it’s awful that they can do that,” seonghwa says, his eyes full of the same sympathy and outrage eunbi’s held - except he knows that this happens all the time. that it’s unfair and sick and a big ploy in the education system that needs incredible reform.

especially when it hurts students like you.

“yeah but it is what it is,” you say, trying your hardest to steer the conversation to literally anything but this (in fear that you’ll scream or start crying or have yet another anxiety attack).

“i can just finish up in the fall, it’s no big deal,” you lie through our teeth, a sad smile on your face as you look at eunbi. “i’m just sorry it messes up our combined graduation party.”

a frown crosses eunbi’s face as she smacks you in the arm, pulling you closer to her just so she could cuddle herself into your arm.

“i will wait for you,” she proclaims dramatically, a pout on her lips and starry-eyed look in her gaze. “i will wait as long as i have to. if they delay it any further, father, you will simply have to sue the school.”

“father, huh?” seonghwa hums lowly, his lips quirking into a smirk.

father is the term eunbi uses when she wants to use him and his money, whether it be blackmailing unfair teachers or shitty students or calling for him when her and her mom are fighting.

“yes, father,” she says, looking to you with a sweet, apologetic smile on her face.

“i’m serious, y/n. we got your back,” she quips with a wink, a pained smile on your face that she knows means you can’t wait to let her have it when you two are alone.

“you had one job, eunbi, and you were doing so good,” you say in her room later that night, pacing back and forth as she sits on her bed like a scolded child. “literally two nights left and you let it slip out!”

“i’m sorry, okay!” she whines for the ninth time, a pout on her face as she plays with fingers; you wanna roll your eyes seeing it, knowing for a fact that’s something she does when she’s in trouble with jiwoon.

“i didn’t mean to, it just slipped out!” she begins to defend, “and it was only my dad! he wouldn’t dare say a bad word about you, y/n, he loves you.”

you ignore the twinge in your chest when you hear her say those words, feeling a tad guilty at the bodily reaction you have about her own father. how much you’re hiding from her and that you have these suppressed feelings and secret moments in the first place.

“loves me or not, bad word or not, it’s still embarrassing, eunbi,” you say, a frown on your lips as you start to hear the situation aloud.

“i still can’t pay for my tuition and have to wait almost a whole year to take a degree in fucking photography. like how embarrassing is that, all of this just for me never find a job and live in a box.”

you’ve only seen a flash of anger on eunbi’s face a few times in your life, the incident with the dorm girls and her dad and when a sorority girl tried to kiss jiwoon at the bar.

and you see it right now, her small but mighty frame jumping off the bed and lunging toward you quickly.

“are you kidding me!” she squeals, smacking you in the arm and pushing you down on the bed.

“what the hell do you mean a degree in fucking photography? or living in a box? you’re gonna be the best photographer in the world and shoot every event in my life and charge me quadruple the amount!”

a smile pulls at your lips as you hear her go on and on, hype you up and build up your confidence and tell you to never talk that way about yourself again. how there’s nothing embarrassing about not being able to afford thousands of dollars when you were alerted about the expense on such short notice.

“okay, okay, i know that,” you eventually give in, letting out a sigh as you flop down on her bed. “it’s just.... stressful. i can’t move back home but i also need to get like, a real job. a job that’s gonna pay well so i can save up as much as possible.”

“and we’ll find you that when we get back,” she says, assuring with a confident look in her eye and her hands in yours. “i can promise you, with or without my father’s connections, we’re getting you a job.”

her words prove to reassure you for the remainder of the night, when, after she kisses your ass a little more, asks if she can go to jiwoon’s for a little.

you spent that time in her room looking at nearby job offerings and building up your resume and cover letters, working well into the night hours with a text from jiwoon that she fell asleep and will be back in the morning.

you stretch your arms above your head with a quiet groan, noting it’s almost one o’clock and you’re fucking parched yet again.

it’s no surprise to you when the lights in the kitchen are on, dimly light and no noise around as you pad your way to the fridge.

you almost expect the footsteps that come in a few moments later, when you take a sip from your water and close the fridge without hesitation.

“have you told your parents about tuition?”

you’re confused by the statement that leaves seonghwa’s mouth, brows pulled together and a sinking feeling in your stomach at this conversation again - because as if tuition wasn’t enough, he just had to bring up your parents.

but you don’t wanna beat around the bush any longer; you two seem to do that enough.

“me and my parents don’t talk,” you say, straight forward and quiet as you look right at him.

it’s the first time he sees you look a little broken and defeated, a certain kind of sadness shining behind your eyes that makes him wanna pull him into you. it feels like a protective instinct he’s used to, caring for the people in his life and not wanting to see them struggle.

“they wouldn’t help me anyway.”

this protective instinct feels a little different in this moment, something else tugging in his chest that he hasn’t felt in a very long time - not until he started seeing you more.

“but it’d be a shame if you didn’t finish, y/n. you got so far and you’ve done so well for yourself.”

you smile a little at the praise, tongue rolling over your lips in a way he certainly doesn’t miss - but this moment isn’t about that. it’s not something he cares even a little bit about right now.

“thank you, mr. park, but i am gonna finish,” you say with finality, the confident and sure tone making a strange sort of pride swell inside of him.

“i just have to save up money and i’ll start in the fall. it’s really not that big of a deal,” you tell him with a smile, taking a few steps back so you don’t feel too crowded by him.

“eunbi’s gonna help me look for jobs when i get back,” you say, a teasing smile pulling at your lips as you look at him. “a big girl job. something real and hard, that’s gonna make me super stressed and agitated.”

so much so that i have to get off at the thought of you.

a deep chuckle bubbles out of him that you match with ease, the two of you sharing small smiles and quiet giggles in the middle of this spotless, white kitchen.

“can’t do what you love quite yet, i guess,” seonghwa says, his eyes roaming your face so slowly and carefully, it makes you a tad bit nervous.

you hadn’t realized how natural and easy this conversation was between you two, like you were talking to someone you’d known your whole life opposed to someone you’ve barely known for four years.

his hand itches to reach up and touch your hair, tuck the soft, silky looking strand behind your ear and watch your cheeks heat up when your skin touches; but instead, he smiles down at you, inching closer until he’s just looming over you and staring down at you with a soft, undetectable look in his eye.

“but it’ll be worth it in the end, i think. it’s just gonna... take some time.”

you lick over our lips, throat and mouth suddenly so incredibly dry, as you nod your head.

“yeah, i think so, too,” you say, your lips smushing together nervously before you open your mouth to speak again - this could be one of the last times you’re alone with him.

“thank you for letting me stay with you guys, mr. park. it’s been... really nice spending time with people for the holidays.”

he feels his heart twinge in his chest again, his eyes falling down to your lips and swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone so bad in his life.

“of course, y/n, it’s been a pleasure,” he says, a smile quirking at his lips with a hint of something you just can’t quite make out. “maybe we’ll see each other again soon.”

it was five days before classes started that you got the confirmation e-mail - a message confirming your tuition for the spring semester was paid in full and your current balance was $0.

you had to look over the message for three whole hours making sure you had read the e-mail correctly, even going as far to call the bursar office to make sure they had the correct address.

but they had confirmed with surety that your balance was paid off, urging you to quickly sign up for the classes you need before the day was over.

“okay, you will never believe what interview i was able to score for you,” eunbi says the moment she walks in the apartment, shopping bags up her arm and gucci sunglasses perched atop her head.

“i’ll admit, the vibe was a little off with the coworkers but i think it’d be a great opportunity to-” her eyes catch your laptop screen on the school website, a list of classes and times on your screen that causes her eyes to widen.

“oh?” she squeals, running over and throwing herself down on the couch beside you. “what the heck are you doing? are you... did you...?”

the lie came way too quick and easy to you, excitedly blabbering out that there was a change in the system and your scholarship was approved - “i think they felt bad that i was a graduating senior,” you said, eunbi’s face pulled into the happiest smile you’ve ever seen.

she clapped and danced and bounced around in excitement, proclaiming you guys just had to go out and get drinks to celebrate the fact that your surprise party was back on.

but you could only sit there with your thoughts and suspicions and this overwhelming feeling deep within your stomach that, while eunbi definitely doesn’t know, her father might’ve just paid your college tuition in full.

(part 2)

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#alright here we go again #shes up fr now jfdkvkd #seonghwa #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa smut #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez smut #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #seonghwa series #ateez series

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jeonbunnie · 3 years ago

Text

like you a latte

pairing: reader x yoongi

summary: your friend brings you to a cafe to help you relax during midterm season, but you can’t help but focus on a certain blonde barista

genre: fluff, angst if you squint; college!au; coffeeshop!au; pg13

soundtrack: blind— role model

content/warnings: mutual pining; idiots to lovers; swearing; POV shift

a/n: this is for @ficscafe’s fic exchange event written for @bonvoyagenoona. I am so sorry this took me so long to get to you. I never forgot you! life just got overwhelming for a bit and I wasn’t in the best mindset to write so I waited till I could write something with my heart in it. thank you for waiting so patiently, I really hope you like it! ♡ I also want to thank lovely valerie @eerieedits for this beautiful banner. (this is not beta’d.)

word count: 4.4k

♪ I’ve never seen something quite like you…♪

“Jieun, when you said you’d take me out to get my mind off things, this wasn’t exactly what I imagined. . . ”

Your best friend rolled her eyes and grabbed your arm, tugging you inside the building. “Well you didn’t really give much to work with, you know. It’s a Monday morning and all you want to do is study! Where else could we go but a cafe?”

“But did it have to be here?”

“What’s wrong with here? This is one of the nicest cafes on campus.”

“This is not a cafe, this is a madhouse,” you said looking around. Silver Spoon was your university's version of an indie coffee shop. The decor lived up to its pretentious name with its glossy wood floors, marble tabletops, and colorful velvet chairs. Coupled with the natural lighting and an endless array of potted greenery it looked like an influencer’s dream, so of course, it attracted a lot of attention. It was also the only coffee shop on campus open 24 hours which meant everyone with a caffeine addiction and their grandma came here.

“I can't believe you’re making me stand in this line.” Behind you, people were already out the door and winding around the corner. “By the time we get our drinks, I could have driven home and made myself a cup of coffee.”

“I don’t mind the wait, it gives me time to check out all the snacks and I’m not talking about the food,” said Jieun, making eyes at the pick-up counter.

Silver spoon was also known for having the hottest baristas. You followed her line of vision, eyes falling on a blonde lining up to-go cups. A crowd of girls surrounded him, all of them admiring him as he worked the espresso machine. When he reached out to hand off a drink to a girl in the back she actually squealed. You didn’t miss the slight smirk on his lips from that reaction.

“He’s so hot,” whined Jieun.

“Helloooo?” You snapped your finger to get her attention on the growing gap between you and the others waiting. “Focus, I’m trying to get a latte before I die.”

Jieun made a face at you before stepping up in line. “You’re so grumpy. This test is really stressing you out, huh?”

“Yeah,” You sighed. “It shouldn’t be this hard to find one textbook! And I almost had it today but someone checked it out like 5 minutes before I got there.”

You’ve been trying to get this book all semester. Every time you try to get your hands on it—it’s gone. Except for today. Today you checked online and the book was finally in stock, so you threw on clothes, rushed out of your dorm, and not thirty minutes later you were at the library requesting the key to your survival for finals. But all your hope vanished the minute the Liberian looked up at you with pity in her eyes and said: “I’m sorry, all copies of this book have been checked out.”

“Did you bite the librarian’s head off too?”

“I’m sorry,” You said, leaning your head on Jieun's shoulder. “I'm just stressed out. I’m gonna fail the test tomorrow cuz I don’t know what to study, and then I’m gonna fail the class cuz it’s midterms and it’ll tank my grade, and then my GPA will drop and—”

“Sweetie, you need to relax.” Jieun patted your head. “Enjoy the view,” she said waving her hand towards the barista like she was a gameshow girl highlighting a prize.

You laughed her off. “Ugh, I can’t even think about boys right now, my future is in jeopardy.”

“You don't think he’s hot?”

You lifted your head and looked over at the barista again. You were closer to the register now so you could get a better look. You would have been anxious having to crank out orders so fast, but he moved with a confidence and smooth pace that was kinda sexy. And much as you hated to admit it, you weren't unaffected by that smirk.

“Everyone in this place is hot,” you said.

A girl in front turned around and popped into your conversation “I know right? Have you seen the manager? Those dimples! He is so dreamy. ”

“I guess no one’s here to actually get coffee, huh?” you joked.

You turned away from her and briefly caught eyes with the barista. There was the barest hint of amusement on his face like he heard you and thought this place was just as ridiculous as you did. You smiled on instinct, then quickly looked away, feeling shy holding his gaze.

Jieun nudged your shoulder and raised her eyebrows. “What just happened?”

Immediately you shut her down. “Uh, uh. Don’t start.” You’d been hesitant to get back into dating ever since your last relationship, if you could even call it that. You made this first move, which backfired when it turned out the guy you fell hard for wasn’t all that into you. He broke things off after a month, saying he felt nothing when he kissed you and shattered your heart into a million pieces.

“But—”

“Oh look, someone’s getting up, you should go grab our seats,” you said, pointing at a group leaving in a desperate attempt to divert her attention. You weren’t really up for your friends' pep talk.

She was onto your trick immediately, folding her arms over her chest. “I’m only going over there because I want that spot, but don't think I don't know you’re changing the subject.”

Jieun reached into her purse and pulled out her card. “Tell you what, my treat. Get me a cappuccino and get yourself a pastry, or maybe barista hottie’s number, you could use both!”

You went to swat at her but Jieun just laughed and dodged your hand on her way out of line. Now that you were closer to the register, you couldn’t deny that he was attractive. The monochrome black look was working for you, but you could already tell that man was trouble in a flannel shirt.

All eyes were on him. Everyone cooed as he worked the espresso machine. Ok, the lattes weren't that nice. But even you had to admit his presence was alluring. Especially since he hardly seemed to care that he was a star attraction. And with a face that pretty, that kind of nonchalance could be deadly.

Jieun would be disappointed when you returned without his number, but better safe than sorry.

Yoongi hated Mondays. And Wednesdays. Fridays, too. Even a Saturday morning might piss him off if he had to come into work; he didn’t discriminate between workdays.

There’s a special place in hell for the early morning crowd at any college coffee shop. Too many cranky people, not enough coffee. Same boring shift. It was all monotonous by now.

Being a barista at Silver Spoon wasn’t his dream job or anything, but it gave him a little extra cash while he worked towards it; time in the studio wasn’t gonna pay for itself. It was a side hustle, not a lifetime gig, but sometimes those early shifts made him feel bored out of his mind. Even when it did get crazy, Yoongi rarely took note of anyone. Mostly, he just tried to survive, happy to let the morning rush swirl together into a blend of names, orders, and cups, before the inevitable shuffling of feet out the door.

So when you walked in, a fresh new face, Yoongi couldn't help but pay attention. Especially since you stuck out among the crowd. Unlike most of the people who visited the shop, it seemed you didn’t want to be there in the first place. He overheard you complaining in line and chuckled to himself since he could relate—he didn’t wanna be there either, bound by the endless lines.

If he was being honest, he hadn’t felt anything for anyone in a long time. No butterflies, no starry eyes—nothing. His past relationships were with people who were easy to impress, easy to win over, and even easier to walk away from since they’d been more into him than he was into them. Sometimes he wondered if he’d grown numb to it all dating people who never lasted longer than a one-night stand.

But when your eyes locked and you smiled, for the first time in a long time Yoongi felt something. Your smile was blinding and after your humorous comment he knew he’d want more than just a night with you.

Not that it would ever happen. Yoongi only needed one look to know you were completely out of his league and he probably wasn’t even your type. He squashed the feeling down almost as quickly as it came,

When you approached the register, you began your request for a cappuccino then passed, eyes floating up above as you considered all your options.

You gave him a sheepish smile and Yoongi felt it again. A little nudge in his heart. Something.

Fuck. Maybe he wasn't your type but you sure as hell were his.

“Sorry I don’t mean to hold up the line, I just don’t know what to get.”

“That’s okay, take your time.” Was he playing favorites? Absolutely. Anyone else he might’ve hurried along, but you could hold up the line forever if that meant he’d get to keep seeing your smile.

After some time you said, “What do you recommend?”

That magic question already earned you some points in his head. Yoongi would never admit it out loud, but when business was slow, he loved to take the time to guess which customer would order what and match someone with a drink.

He didn’t want to overwhelm you especially since he didn’t know what you liked. Something simple, but sweet like you. “The vanilla bean latte is really good with some oat milk.”

“Ooh, that sounds good. Does the oat milk cost extra?”

Yoongi nodded. You bit your lip, thinking about your options and his mind wandered off to thoughts of what it might be like to kiss you.

“Mhm, then that’s okay. I’ll just get the latte with regular milk.”

Yoongi rang you up, then quickly shifted to the other side to make your drink. He could tell you wanted to try his recommendation but changed your mind at the added fee. Still, Yoongi wanted to impress you, so he added the extra ingredient anyway.

When your order was ready he called out your name and waved you closer, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “Don’t tell anyone but I gave you oat milk, let me know if you like it.”

His boss Jin would get on his ass for doing something like that if he caught him but it was worth it to see the smile spread across your face. When he handed you your drinks, your hands touched for just the briefest of moments.

Your eyes flickered away, and you sputtered out a thank you before leaving the pick-up line but Yoongi couldn’t move after you touched. There it was again.

A spark. A flame. Something.

This time he couldn’t ignore it. He didn’t believe in love at first sight or any of that bullshit still, there was something about you that drew him in. You were out of his league, too good for him, sure. But after feeling that—Yoongi wasn’t gonna stop himself from at least trying.

“Soooo how’d it go with barista hottie?”

You recapped the whole exchange to Jieun the moment you sat down. Despite your best efforts to ignore your growing attraction, hearing the deep timbre of his voice call out your name nearly made your knees buckle. And when his cat-like eyes met yours, and your hands touched, something electric passed through your fingertips. Flustered, you snatched up your latte, made a beeline to your friend, and plopped down on a velvet pink couch.

“I was so embarrassed I immediately dropped eye contact.”

“What did he whisper to you?”

“Oh, you saw that?” You feigned innocence even as you could feel yourself get heated. You were still trying to overcome the sensation of his smokey voice in your ear. “Um, he did me a favor and added oat milk to my latte even though it cost extra. ”

You thought it was really sweet that he didn’t charge you for your drink. Maybe you were wrong judging his appearance; he seemed like a sweetheart in disguise?

“Did you a favor,” said Jieun, making air quotes with her fingers. “He was flirting with you!”

“You think so?” You really couldn’t tell. Your ex used to flirt with you all the time but you learned how little those pretty words meant.

“I don’t know, I think he was just being nice,” you said, dismissing everything. Sweetheart or not, no way a guy like that could ever really be into you. You probably weren’t his type. Right?

“But guess what?” You said, changing the subject.

“What?”

When you looked away, searching for something, anything to distract you from him—and that was when you saw it. A black spine with gold letters written down the side, almost unrecognizable underneath a sack of coffee beans, but you knew it instantly. The Essence of Psychology.

“He has my book, the one I’ve been looking for? I noticed it on the counter.”

“Oh, my god. The latte. The book, ”said Jieun pointedly.

“Uh, is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“It’s a sign! It’s all a sign. You should ask him out.”

“What? No. I don’t even know him.” Yes, you were into him, but you didn’t have that same confidence as before. It nearly wrecked you being rejected by your last love interest. No way you were asking some stranger out on a whim. “Been there, done that, had my heart broken.”

“Yes! Come on,” said Jieun. “You like him, he obviously likes you; this is your moment! Get over there and ask him on a date.”

“A study date? Really.”

“A study date is lowkey and totally casual. Just what you need to get back out there.”

“I don’t know….”

“Don’t let that jerk ruin your confidence!” said Jieun. “So what if the last guy wasn’t the one? Don’t be afraid to try again.”

You thought about it. Half of you still felt insecure about being vulnerable and putting your feelings out there. But there was also this nagging feeling inside of you. Like you’d regret it if you didn’t at least try.

“You know what—you’re right.”

The study date was pretty casual. And you did really need that book. All you had to do was try.

You could do that, couldn’t you?

“Okay, okay. I’m gonna do it. Before I chicken out.”

You set your drink down, and marched back over to the register, determined to ask him out. You wanted to, you did. But your heart was racing, and he seemed busy with orders, and you just couldn’t move your feet over to where he was. Somehow you found yourself back at the couch, your nerves getting the best of you.

“I couldn’t do it.”

“You’ve been gone for like ten minutes,” said Jieun. “What were you doing?”

“I bought pastries?” You smiled, shoving a brown bag in her lap. “Want a chocolate croissant?”

“Did you even talk to him?”

“No….”

“(Y/n)! Okay well, if you can’t ask him out, at least ask him for the book. The worst thing that can happen is he says no.”

You took a long sip of your creamy latte hoping Jieun wouldn’t press you to do more. When you put the cup back down Jieun quickly snatched it away.

“Hey!”

Jieun held your latte cup just out of your reach. “You can have his latte back after you talk to him.”

“Are you serious?”

“Y/n. I am not letting you spend another night on my couch whining about your nonexistent love life or your GPA. If you want something, sometimes you have to go get it.”

Knowing Jieun, and the look on her face, you truly weren’t getting your drink back until you properly tried. You narrowed your eyes at her but stood up anyway, “I hate you.”

“You can thank me later!” sang Jieun as you walked away, “Preferably at the wedding!”

As much as she got on your nerves, you knew your friend had a point. But that didn’t stop your heart from nearly jumping out of your chest as you walked over. You had to put yourself out there again, you just hoped you didn’t end up embarrassing yourself in the process.

Yoongi slumped back against the worktable, grateful that the morning rush had finally died down. He’d been trying to focus, but he couldn’t stop shooting glances at you and the sweet smile that spread across your face as you sipped on your latte.

He rarely wanted to step out from behind the counter and interact with the customers who visited the shop, but he found himself wanting to talk to you again. So when the crowd began to fade, and he noticed you walked over once more he immediately perked up and slid over to the register.

“Did you like my last suggestion?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound too eager to hear your approval. Was his interest too obvious? But any apprehension he might have had faded when you graced him with another smile.

“Yeah, I did! It was really good, thank you. . .” you drifted off, eyes glancing down to his nametag. “Yoongi.”

Warmth spread through his body at the sound of you saying his name. There was pride there too, pride in the fact that he had pleased you, knowing the brilliant smile on your face was his doing.

“So I’m guessing you’re back for another recommendation?”

“Actually, I didn’t come up here to order anything this time. . . I noticed that book you have over there?” You said, pointing to the corner where Yoongi stashed his things.

“I-i've been looking for that textbook everywhere. If you're not using it, do you mind if I borrow it?”

Yoongi’s eyes trailed down to the book on his book on the side. “Sorry, I can’t,” he said. Something about the softness of your voice when you asked made it harder to say no to your face.

“I need it. I’ve got this big exam tomorrow and I haven’t started studying yet. I just got it from the library this morning.”

He figured that’d be the end of your conversation and braced himself for the expression on your face to shift from hope to disappointment, but when he looked back up, an odd passing over your face instead.

“It was you. You’re the one who swiped the last book before I could get it this morning!” You laughed, shaking your head a bit. “I’ve been trying to get this book all year. But every time I do, someone beats me to it.”

What were the odds of you being in the same class and meeting him like this? In some kind of strange serendipity? All this time he’d studied alone when he could’ve been studying with you. The interrelation would've felt a lot like fate if his existence wasn't the one thing keeping you from passing midterms.

“My bad,” Yoongi said, tugging on his ear. Suddenly guilt sank into him. If you asked for anything else, he’d give it to you. “I feel like I owe you one.”

“Oh no, don’t feel bad!” You said waving your hands. “Sorry, forget I asked.” You turned on your heels and in that split second, Yoongi could see you walking away forever.

“Wait!” he said, sliding out from behind the counter and before he knew it, he was already by your side and doing the unthinkable.

“Let me make it up to you, maybe we could study together?”

The words sounded strange coming out of his mouth--he’d never asked someone out like this before--but it was too late, he'd already said them. The moment was so out of character but he couldn’t help himself. Somehow he had the feeling that if he let you walk away, he'd never get another chance to ask you out.

For a minute you froze, processing his words and Yoongi was sure that asking you out was the wrong move. Maybe it wasn’t fate and he was the only one feeling the attraction.

“Like. . . a date?”

Yoongi cringed at the hesitance in your voice. That’s exactly what he wanted. But if you weren’t interested he’d take it all back. “Sorry, was that too forward? You don’t have to if you don’t want to—”

“Yes,” you said, cutting him off.

All the tension he was holding left him in a sigh of relief. “Wait. Really?”

You nodded. “I’ve got classes from one to three? But then I’m free all day.”

“My shift ends at three. Should we meet back here? We could walk over to the library?”

“It’s a date,” you said, soft and shy with that smile that made him feel light all over.

And then he was smiling, too.

When you returned to your seat, you gave Jieun the full play-by-play. How you were too chickenshit to ask him for anything more than a book and the plot twist you never saw coming.

“He asked you out?”

“I know!” At the moment, you couldn’t believe it either. You don’t know how you found the courage to clarify that it was, in fact, a date.

“See,” said Jieun, clasping your hands in yours excitedly. “I told you the book was a sign!”

You were happy of course, but you couldn’t help that nagging voice in the back of your head that said otherwise. “What if I fuck it all up?”

Jieun squeezed your hand. “You’re not gonna fuck it up. The date’s gonna go great, you’ll see.”

Turns out Jieun was partly right, things started pretty great. That afternoon, you swung by the cafe after class, a bundle of nerves, joy, and excitement. Yoongi threw on a leather jacket that made you swoon and clocked out before the two of you headed out to the library. But the more time you spent with him the more you felt yourself become closed off. An hour into the study date and you were starting to think it was a bad idea to meet in a place where you couldn’t talk at a normal distance.

You had to get close, sitting next to him so you could hear him whisper questions in that voice that made your stomach dip. Close, so he could lean in to read from the textbook, cheek so near to yours you could feel the heat radiating off him. The final nail in the coffin was when you saw him cradle his face in his palm taking notes, looking handsome as ever.

You couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t think straight. The proximity and the intimacy of it all were getting you. Even worse, you kept wondering if he was as hyper-aware of you as you were of him. You couldn’t hold a conversation. All you could do was pull away, refocus, and try to act normal. It was a relief when the two of you decided to take a break and walk outside.

Yoongi broke the silence first. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you said, even though you were nervous to hear what he might ask.

“Is everything okay?”

“Y-yeah? Why do you ask?”

“It’s just. . . you’ve been so quiet, and it seems like every time I try to get close to you, you pull away.”

“I’m sorry,” You said. You sat down on a bench outside the library as the sun started to paint the sky orangey-pink. “I’m not good at this.”

“This?” said Yoongi.

“Dating. I'm sure you noticed, but I’m not the best at socializing. I always psych myself out.” Mostly I just spend a lot of time wondering if I’m saying or doing the right things and I end up not being myself. And by then I can never tell if the person I’m with really likes me, you know?”

Yoongi was quiet. He just looked at you, taking everything you said all in. You felt yourself flush at the intensity of his gaze. “I said too much just now, didn’t I? I do that when I’m nervous.”

“I get it.”

“You do?”

“I’m not that good at dating either. You're the first person I’ve asked out in a long time.”

You laughed. “I don’t believe that. You had a swarm of girls crowding around you this morning and they just weren’t there to pick up their orders. You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better, you can be honest—”

“It’s the truth. I’m not someone who usually initiates. But seeing you today, I wanted to.”

Your head turned towards him.“Really?”

Yoongi nodded. “Mhm.”

Hearing that for once, your feelings were reciprocated, your pulse sped up. The urge to smile was so strong that you covered your mouth with your hand, trying to hide your excitement.

Slowly, Yoongi reached over and pulled your hand away. “Don’t hide it. . .”

Yoongi got close, giving you enough time to pull away if you wanted to, but you didn’t. You leaned into his touch when he cupped your cheek in his hand, thumb brushing against the side of your face when he said: “Your smile was the highlight of my day.”

Just like that—you wanted to kiss him. Your eyes flicked down to his pink lips. You could kiss him, all you had to do was close the gap. Fear told you that this promise of romance would end up like the last. That he’d kiss you and feel nothing and your heart would break again.

But you didn’t let that fear win.

Heart pounding, you leaned in till his lips touched yours. It wasn’t like the last time. It was so much more. Kissing Yoongi felt like kissing someone for the first time. Only better. It had never felt more right. And when he pulled you closer, tilting his head to deepen the kiss and you feel that same chemistry from your first touch lighting you up on the inside.

After the kiss Yoongi stayed close and pressed his forehead to yours. When you opened your eyes to see him smiling from ear to ear—there wasn’t any doubt in your mind—and you knew he felt it, too.

“I like you,” said Yoongi, slightly out of breath. “I know we just met but, I do. And I’d like to keep talking and getting to know you—if that’s okay with you.”

You gave him your best smile. “I’d like that a lot.”

#ficscafe #btshoneyhive #yoongi x reader #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi fic #yoongi fics #yoongi scenario #yoongi scenarios #poc reader #songfic #my fics.🍪

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ka-tamingoftheshrew-ba · 3 years ago

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A quick little cheat sheet for people writing Daredevil fanfic: by a law student

Okay, so I’ve been in my daredevil renaissance era and thus have been reading a lot of daredevil fanfic as of late. However, the the fault of nobody at all, I’ve noticed some common inaccuracies about law school and the practice of law and thought I would throw together a little guide so you don’t have to do any research on some of the basics! Also, you don’t have to use this if you don’t want to, I just wanted to make a little guide for those who wish to incorporate these elements into their works !!

1. Law school in the states is enrolled in after completing a bachelor’s degree!

Okay so this one might seem obvious to people who live in America, but I know the study of law isn’t universal so I thought I would break it down. To enroll in law school, you must complete at least a bachelor’s level degree. These are four year(traditionally tracked) programs. To go to law school, you do not need to get a certain type of bachelor’s degree, you just have to have one. For example, my bachelor’s degree is in philosophy. Others that are common are Political Science, History, English, and Criminal Justice. However, there is no requirement to get a certain type of bachelors. I know people who studied biology or physics that are not enrolled in law school. Note that pre-law is not a bachelor’s degree but rather is either a minor or a concentration. I, for example, have an undergraduate minor in pre-law.

2. Law school is a three year program but can be completed in two years on an AJD (accelerated Jurisprudence Doctorate track).

Again, this might seem like common sense to people who live in America, but it isn’t the same everywhere in the world. To enroll in a JD program you need to achieve a certain GPA in undergrad and achieve a certain grade on the LSAT. The years are referred to as 1L, 2L, and 3L. The LSAT is a test comprised of Logical Reasoning (Arguments), Analytical Reasoning (Logic Games- don’t be fooled these games are NOT fun), Reading Comprehension, and a Writing Sample (which is not scored). The range of scores you can get is between 120-180.The average score achieved is around 150. The median at Columbia law is 172 (which is RIDICULOUSLY high) as it is ranked #4 in the nation. This means it is a T14 law school right up there with Yale and Harvard.

3. The breakdown of law school courses.

During 1L, you’re taking required courses and are placed into them. You do not get to pick these classes. Here are the 1L classes at Columbia (based off of 2021-22)(note that I do not go to Columbia law and found this on their website):

Fall

- Legal Methods 1- (where you learn how to read cases and write briefs/memos.)

- Legal Practice Workshop 1 (I have no clue what this is lmao we did NOT have this at my school)

- Civil Procedure (you basically learn about how and where to file civil cases, standing, venue, as well as the rules to brining a case in civil court)

- a pairing of one of these (whatever you don’t take in the fall you take in the sprint)

Contracts & Property,

Contracts & Torts,

Constitutional Law & Torts,

Constitutional Law & Propery

Spring:

- Legal Methods II

- Legal Practice Workshop II

- Foundation Year Moot Court (basically oral argument class I would assume)

- Criminal Law

- Combo if the Courses from Fall that you did not take in Fall

- A L1 elective

4. Internships.

Most students during the summer will apply for internships to try on different types of law. This both builds their resumes and allows them to shop around and see what type of law they might want to practice. While you can concentrate in certain areas of law, many people find what they want to do through their internships and end up practicing where they can find a job within that interest.

5. Grading.

Law school grades on a curve. While this might seem like a good thing or a bad thing (depending on personal feelings regarding curves) it is required by the schools and sometimes the bar association.

6. Having your JD ≠ practicing law

Okay so this one’s a little less intuitive. To practice law, you need to graduate from law school with a JD AND pass the bar exam. The bar exam is usually taken summer after 3L and is what allows you to practice law. That is all I’m going to say about the bar because it’s currently my #2 stressor (behind figuring out how tf I’m going to pay my rent rn lmao).

7. Misc terms:

Judgment NOT judgement

Counsel not Council

Civil suit- for liability/$$. Plaintiff/Defense. Liable/not liable verdicts.

Criminal suit- for alleged criminal acts . Prosecution(the state)/ Defense. Guilty/not guilty verdicts.

Hearsay- is admissible if it falls under a exception (there are MANY exception to hearsay)

Circumstantial evidence- A big portion of the evidence provided in court. Circumstantial evidence is not bad!!

Preponderance of the evidence- over 50% (burden of proof in most civil cases)

Beyond a reasonable doubt- this chart shows it more than I can explain (used in criminal cases). Prosecutions burden of proof!

8. How lawyers do legal research.

Those books you see in the background of lawyers on tv: for show. Yeah, most lawyers use one of two databases to do legal research. Either WestLaw or LexisNexis (Lexis for short). Most law schools provide students with subscriptions to either one or both of these databases where you can keyword search relevant terms or cases and find what you are looking for. I prefer Lexis but have used both and they pretty much give the same results. Working at a firm means that you are often given access to one or another so you better be comfortable with both!

9. The state courts in New York.

Okay so state court is different from federal court. You learn about where to file in civil procedure your first year of law school. You only file in federal under specific circumstances so it is likely that the case at hand you want to write about will take place in state court. The New York system is especially weird seeing as one of their courts of original jurisdiction (where you would file) is called their Supreme Court. In most states (like Pennsylvania for example, their Supreme Court is the highest court in the state and does not hold original jurisdiction.) This system is so OUTSIDE my personal wheelhouse that I’m going to link a chart that sort of helps but if it doesn’t I’m so sorry.

10. Justice Marshall.

I’ve seen it referenced many times in fic (to the point I’m unsure whether or not it is canon) that Matt’s favorite Supreme Court (of the US) justice is Justice Marshall. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are two different Justice Marshalls. From context clues I believe people are referring to Justice Thurgood Marshall and not Chief Justice John Marshall. Thurgood Marshall was a civil rights activist who was on the court between 1967 and 1991. He was also the first African American to be appointed to the SCOTUS. His work prior to the court was fighting Jim Crow laws and was best known prior to being on the court as the litigant who argued to desegregate in Brown v. Board of Education. Chief Justice John Marshall was the fourth Chief Justice on the SCOTUS and held that position from 1801-1835. He is best known for being one of the most influential justices regarding the power the Supreme Court holds by infusing the idea of judicial review into the practice of judges on the court. He, however, was not a great person. While being “opposed” to slavery he did in fact “own” enslaved people for most of his life. He also wrote three very problematic opinions regarding Native Americans while on the bench dubbed the “Marshall Trilogy.” Take with that what you will. Basically Thurgood >>>>>> John by a longshot.

11. The M’Naughten rule.

If this one seems familiar, it’s because it was mentioned in season 2 of daredevil on Netflix regarding the Frank Castle case. It is better known as the insanity defense. Here’s the kicker, though. New York does not use the M’Naughten rule. It’s such a small thing but since 1965 New York uses New York Penal Law 40.15. I am unable to give legal advice in any capacity since I’m in law school but a quick google will dispel what the differences are if you want to get into more depth.

12. Most cases settle.

When we think of the practice of law, we often think about big movie court scenes, the formality of a judge sitting on the bench, a array of different people sitting as jurors assessing the verdict of a case in front of them. And this does happen, but it’s not the norm. No, more often than not a civil case is settled outside of the court room. Most times, someone charged with a crime will take a plea bargain outside of the courtroom, confessing their guilt for a better sentence. A lot of what lawyers do is building the best case for their client and abiding by their wishes regarding whether or not they want to settle/take a plea. Court fees are a reality, and the stress of court is a whole other whirlwind of emotions and stress that a lot of people would rather not go through. A lawyer is there to assist and explain whether a settlement/plea offer is a good or bad thing given the totality of the circumstances. But ultimately, it is the decision of the client to either go forward or to call it before going to court. About only 5% of criminal cases, for example, will go to trial.

13. Lawyers are not infallible.

Take it from someone who is surrounded by people in the legal profession everything day, lawyers are literally just people. They aren’t all knowing, they aren’t perfect, they aren’t all vindictive (although some can be). They joke around, curse, learn new things, and mess up. I’m serious about the cursing thing, people in the legal profession are some of the most foul mouthed people I’ve ever met (myself included). But that’s besides the point, the point I’m really trying to make is that media glamorizes the job and makes lawyers seem either like gods or the devil reincarnate (lol devil haha get it), but in truth they’re really just people. They aren’t perfect but most really are trying.

I think this is all I can think of off of the top of my head atm! I hope this little guide helps anyone who wants to use it :) Like I said, this is a guide meant to help fanfic writers if they want to add in little elements of the legal field! But also this is by no means me saying “you don’t understand the law and it shows and therefore isn’t good writing.” I just thought this would be a fun little thing to put together and something I would appreciate if I didn’t already know this stuff! The legal field is really inaccessible and that’s a tragedy if we’re being honest. Also final note: I am unable yo give legal advice as I am currently enrolled in law school. Nothing here is me giving advice about the law or any real life situations and is only meant to be a guide for fiction writers! Please feel free to ask me about things that might confuse you but please please do not ask for unsolicited advice. I am very liberal with the block button and will block. I’ve put too much money into where I am not to jeapordize my career so please please respect this boundary. That being said, feel free to inquire about jargon or ask for resources on where to find more information. Also NY Lawyers/Law Students you are more versed in practicing in NY than I am so feel free to make amendments/corrections if I’ve messed something up. I hope this helps <3

#daredevil #matt murdock #fanfiction #marvel

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forasecondtherewedwon · 3 years ago

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An All-American January Christmas

Fandom: Hawkeye Pairing: Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova Rating: T Word Count: 4591

Summary: Kate takes Yelena on the ultimate Christmas adventure: grocery shopping.

“I know your full name. Your GPA. I know your favourite grocery store,” Yelena lists off, grumbling. “I did not expect that last one to become relevant.”

Kate turns and beams back at her, unaffected by her companion’s apparent misery or the strobing line of fluorescents lighting this aisle.

“Aw, come on,” Kate says. “Grocery shopping’s the best! In some ways, it’s the most fun part of the holidays.”

Yelena looks frankly angry that she would make such an assertion, so Kate hastily elaborates: “You get to pick all the food you’re going to feast on. It’s whatever you want. It’s amazing. You should be totally into this.”

“It’s hardly the Empire State Building,” Yelena mumbles. Her forearms are already resting on the shopping cart’s handle, but she lowers her chin onto the back of her hand, moping.

“Yeah, but you’ve been here three weeks now. You’ve done that stuff.”

Kate finds the boxed mac ’n’ cheese they both prefer and shakes it enticingly before dropping it into their cart. Yelena’s expression doesn’t change.

“If you think this is an incredible addition to my sightseeing tour, I must disappoint you.”

“Ah. You won’t be saying that once we get a-cookin’!”

“I don’t cook.”

“Then how do you eat?”

“I order take-out, duh. Or sometimes I kill someone who has just finished preparing their dinner, and I eat that.”

Kate frowns.

“That’s not funny.”

“It’s a little bit funny,” Yelena says. “Not as funny as you, but hey, I try, you know?”

“You made mac ’n’ cheese,” Kate counters, slightly flustered by the compliment as she leads Yelena to the end of the aisle and around to the next one.

“The instructions are on the box.”

“You added hot sauce though!” She snaps her fingers and points at Yelena, excited by her own airtight argument. “That’s cooking!”

“I am beginning to think you had an upbringing as detached from reality as mine was.”

“Yeah, well.”

Kate pauses, perusing a row of cans. In the brief time she’s know the Black Widow, she’s seen Yelena scrape a pot/plate/bowl clean, grating metal on metal to get the last noodle with a fork, the last puddle of soup with a spoon. She’s seen Yelena get in there with her tongue to lick off whatever was left when cutlery failed her. (Kate had swallowed thickly and felt her brain disappear in a puff of smoke, staring at her dumbly until Yelena had brought her out of it with a defensively snapped, “What? It’s good!”)

She grabs one can—two, in case this dish goes over well.

“I grew up privileged—as my mother loves to remind me—and that always messes you up. Although I think having my family torn apart by an alien invasion left its mark too.”

“Hey,” Yelena says, softer and less snarky than she’s been since they walked through the grocery store’s automatic doors. “Cheers to a fucked-up childhood.”

She takes one of the cans and taps it against the other, still in Kate’s hand. A sideways smile creeps up Kate’s face.

“Cheers to having overdeveloped combat skills while lacking the fundamentals,” she offers in return.

“Ваше здоровье.” Yelena rotates the can in her hand. “What is this, by the way?”

“Cranberries.”

“Cranberries are fruit.”

“Yeah, but we don’t need them to be fruit,” Kate explains, “we need them to be sauce.”

“Can you not make the sauce out of the fruit?”

“Me? Like, personally? I dunno, maybe. I’ve never tried. But the great thing is that canned cranberry sauce not only exists but it exists as a festive norm, present on most Christmas dinner tables.”

Yelena’s face says she’s having her doubts.

“Also,” Kate says, “they’re totally jellified in there; they make a gross sluuuurp noise when they plop out of the can.”

“Ok, that sounds pretty great.”

“Oh, it’s fantastic. You’re gonna love it.”

Kate strides to the end of the aisle, heading for the bakery section. Their cart has an unfortunate wheel that squeals and spins around, and when she doesn’t hear it immediately, she turns back. Yelena’s been dragging her feet since they came in here!

“What’s the deal? I thought you were enjoying this now.”

“You’re making me push the cart,” Yelena pouts.

“Pushing the cart is the most important job,” Kate says soothingly.

“Do not patronize. I am still a deadly assassin.”

There’s a gasp and the two of them turn to watch a young boy slowly back away from the boxed Danishes he was approaching.

Yelena jerks her chin at the kid in acknowledgement and offers an intimidatingly unsmiling, “Hey. Happy holidays.”

The boy flees.

“Yeah,” Yelena explains, “I’m not that good with children. I stopped in at my friend’s house, Ana, and she says her family is so great, you know? Her daughter is so friendly and curious and she is so proud. But when I am there, her daughter is just staring at me, so rude.”

“And what were you doing while she was staring?” Kate asked, trying not to sound too amused.

“Eating a muffin.”

“Just eating a muffin?”

“With a knife.”

A laugh bursts from Kate.

“You ate a muffin with a knife and fork? Cut it up? That’s hilarious!”

“No,” Yelena corrects, “no fork. Just the knife.”

She mimes impaling the muffin. She chews the air around her imaginary knife. To Kate, Yelena looks like a lion chomping on a corncob. She can understand a small child being ever-so-slightly taken aback by that kind of display.

“Oh, so like a total psycho then,” Kate says lightly.

“What?” Yelena whines. “You stab it and pick it up. It’s the easiest way to eat the bottom first and save the crunchy top part for last.”

Kate laughs.

“I guess you’re right.”

“I am right,” she hears Yelena say under her breath.

The cart is still slow to follow, so Kate stops a second time.

“Why are you so bummed about pushing the cart?” she demands.

Yelena’s relaxed mouth tightens and her jaw juts out.

“Just tell me,” Kate pushes.

“I want to sit in it.”

“In the cart?”

“I remember going to get the groceries with my mama sometimes, in the afternoon, before Natasha came home from school. Mama would push and I would… I would ride in the cart,” Yelena finishes defiantly, bracing for criticism, Kate assumes by her posture. “Happy memory.”

“Well, get in then,” Kate invites.

Yelena leans away from her as she takes the cart’s handle.

“What?”

“Get in.”

Kate sees the smile Yelena swiftly suppresses. What a dork. As if Kate cares whether she’s pushing the cart or hopping over the side to sit inside it, crossing her legs to fit. Yelena gathers her braid in her hand so it won’t get caught in the folding child seat. She twists and glances up at Kate, giving her a tough look.

“Still deadly assassin.”

“Of course,” Kate agrees, nodding solemnly. She has to give the cart an extra push to get it rolling now that Yelena’s sitting in it.

“Don’t act like I’m too heavy to push,” Yelena directs.

“All you had to push were cranberries and mac ’n’ cheese.”

“Pushing me is good for you. Leg workout. Good for thighs.”

Kate snorts and wheels them up to the rack of reduced-price baked goods. She starts picking through, shifting boxes of donuts and pies, searching for a suitable loaf.

“Aren’t you rich?” Yelena bluntly inquires, watching Kate choose. “Why are you buying old bread?”

Kate smiles.

“It needs to be stale for the dressing.”

“Dressing?”

“The part you shove inside the turkey. With, like, onions, and celery, and mushrooms, and cranberries sometimes—”

“OH!” Yelena shouts. “The stuffing! Yes, I remember this.”

“It’s also called dressing,” Kate says.

“I would know what you’re talking about if you used right word.”

“Uhhh, both words are used pretty commonly.”

“I am remembering more things all the time. I’m going to be a better American than you so soon.”

“Yeah, alright.” Kate rolls her eyes.

“So soon. Like that.” Yelena snaps her fingers for emphasis.

She can’t see Yelena’s face as they continue to wind their way through the store, but Kate’s very aware of her shopping buddy’s smugness. It’s in her straight back, the square set of her shoulders beneath the furry, brown coat. Yelena’s even gripping both sides of the cart as if she’s the one steering. Kate keeps to herself the fact that Yelena looks more like a toddler hemmed in by a childproof fence. She’s adorable. It’s probably a dangerous thing to think—it’d be a dangerous thing to admit out loud (Yelena might actually kill her)—but she does think it. Yelena is adorable. She’s adorable and she’s coming home with Kate for a January Christmas feast.

It’s hard to tell whether Yelena is aware of how incredibly kind this is; she’s sharp and insightful and she pretends to be rusty and awkward at the friendship thing, but she’s known tremendous loss, which is impossible without knowing tremendous love, and… Kate is thankful, that’s all.

Leaving the Barton Christmas? It was hard. And it wasn’t. As many times as Laura hugged her, or Lila led her outside for target practice, or Cooper challenged her to video games, or Nate tried to teach her to draw (humiliatingly, they’re at basically the same skill level), part of Kate wanted to get out of there. That was for Clint. He deserved a safe, happy family Christmas. Who knew how many of those he’d missed in his risk-riddled lifetime?

She still let herself get talked into staying for New Year’s, but that was it. Before heading home to New York, Kate made peace with the loneliness she’d face. Dad long dead. Mom freshly incarcerated. She’s still working out a wobbly new bond with Jack. (Not to mention struggling to find him the right present—what do you buy the guy who was engaged to your mother, whose arrest was kinda-sorta-maybe your fault, who you almost stabbed in the face on purpose, whose endearingly step-fatherly Christmas-morning text was 80% emojis but still made you tear up?)

She wasn’t expecting to come back to find somebody as hopeful and alone, as wounded and free as she was. She wasn’t expecting Yelena.

And she is really grateful for whatever partial patch-up Clint and Yelena managed (he was stoically tight-lipped about it over Christmas, leading Kate to believe Natasha had a lot to do with their budding truce). It makes her feel so much less guilty about the whole situation of having a major crush on the Black Widow assassin who tried to take out her partner. Seriously. What a load off her mind.

They swing out of the produce section and towards the checkout.

“Maybe they’ll give you free groceries,” Yelena suggests.

“Why would they do that?”

“For being famous.”

Kate laughs uncomfortably.

“I don’t think I’m that recognizable.”

With a little struggling that tests their cart’s unreliable wheel, Yelena repositions herself until she’s sitting facing Kate. The loaf of bread is in her lap. The hand she gestures towards Kate holds a potato.

“You’re wearing purple,” Yelena says. Kate darts a look down at her coordinated sweatsuit, visible under her open coat. “Like, the exact shade of your superhero outfit. With even the same ponytail.”

Kate touches her ponytail self-consciously, but Yelena is merciless.

“You need to be more versatile with your hair. You want people to know who you are? Ok,” she allows with a shrug. “One look for that. Ponytail while doing the arrows and falling out of the buildings. The rest of the time, no ponytail. Otherwise, everyone bothers you, trying to have a chat, trying to get your autograph. Or trying to kill you.” Yelena shrugs again. “Depending on the person.”

“Or both,” Kate says thoughtfully. “There was one Tracksuit Mafia guy…”

She waves off the ending of her own anecdote. Not important. Not as important, anyway, as the way Yelena’s looking at her. Fine, she’s only looking at her like that because Kate is agreeing with what she said, possibly letting herself be mentored in the art of incognito bad-assery and grocery acquisition, but it still makes Kate trip over her own feet and slam the end of the cart into the magazine rack next to the conveyor belt. A tabloid flops onto Yelena’s lap, atop the bread. She studies it for a minute while Kate gives the cashier an apologetic smile for the collision and begins transferring their items onto the belt.

As she’s peeling Yelena’s distracted fingers off the potato, Yelena meets her eye and holds up the magazine to show Kate the cover: a smiling Meghan and Harry.

“How many years do you think before he loses all his hair?” she asks.

Kate’s at a loss for words, but Yelena, as sure of herself as ever, turns and slaps the magazine down beside their groceries.

“I’m getting this too,” she says. “I want to see if they asked him about his hair. My father will be curious. I can text him.”

Maintaining a painful smile for the cashier—whose offended expression says she might be a Prince Harry fan—Kate gets them out of there as fast as she can.

—

Getting Yelena through the front door of the Bishop residence is like getting Lucky to walk in the opposite direction of the scent of pizza (which, in Manhattan, is a recurring problem): it’s hard. There’s a lotta verbal coaxing. In lieu of an encouraging scratch behind the ears or beneath the chin, Kate would like to—god, gettin’ crazy now—weave her fingers between her guest’s, or tug at her jacket’s fluffy lapel.

She’s gonna swoon at the thought, but she can’t swoon, because the grocery bag she’s carrying has the potatoes at the bottom and if she swoons, she’ll probably fall on them and mash them, and they’re not supposed to get mashed until they’re in a pot on the stove.

Kate takes a breath and decides to handle this gently, just to get the damn assassin into her house.

“Uh, Yelena? Kinda hard to have our Christmas feast out here in the hall. I need to turn the oven on for the turkey. And the stove! We need the stove, otherwise we’ll be eating raw potatoes.”

“I’ve eaten much worse,” Yelena says gruffly.

Sighing in exasperation, Kate grimaces. Her arms are getting tired of holding most of the bags.

“Do I need to go back for a shopping cart so I can push you in?!”

Yelena gives her a sideways look that starts out unreadable before softening into something Kate might almost call vulnerable.

“These are not the usual circumstances for me to be entering somebody’s home,” she says.

“Yeah, no murders today, please. It’s just me and Lucky—who’s probably in here sleeping on some expensive piece of my mom’s furniture that he’s definitely not allowed to be on—and I’m pretty attached to both of us.” Kate stands there for a few seconds, subtly rolling her shoulders to ease the strain. “You could break in through an upstairs window, if you want? No no no, don’t do that, I take it back.”

“Still an invitation, Kate Bishop.” Yelena finally smiles at her. Between that and the way she says her name, Kate gets a little shiver. Yelena’s going to think her arms are weak as shit. “You take all the fun out of breaking and entering.”

“My bad. It’s totally safe though,” Kate promises, eyes lifting towards the high ceiling of the entry hall. “I guess it might be hard for you to turn off, but you don’t have to be so on your guard here.”

“Totally safe,” Yelena repeats.

“Yeah. My mom runs a security company, remember? Ran. She ran a security company.”

Yelena stares at her.

“…Which was obviously not very secure,” Kate concedes, smiling sheepishly. “Point taken. But I’m here now!” She beams.

“Oh? Are you going to protect me, Kate Bishop?”

Yelena’s smile is dangerous and Kate is far from unflappable in the face of it.

“Uh, yes? Yes,” she says with more conviction.

“Alright.” Yelena sniffs. “Let’s cook the absolute shit out of this big bird you bought.”

Her dour resolve says she’s ready to slowly roast the turkey over an open pit while the reflected flames dance hellishly in her eyes, so Kate holds her breath as she neatly (mostly) hefts the turkey into the roasting pan and slides it into one of their kitchen’s two spacious ovens, hoping her guest won’t be disappointed. There’s no butchery—no grim, life-stealing stab of the knife Kate got out to chop the potatoes. Yelena doesn’t even fight to get to be the one to sew up the turkey, though she does watch Kate’s fingers while she sews. Miraculously, Kate’s dexterous enough not to stab the thick needle into her hand and focused enough not to sew her hand to a dead bird’s ass, even with Yelena’s intense attention.

“Ok,” she announces brightly, slamming the oven door on their raw and well-buttered friend. “Now we make the rest of it while our pal gets golden and crispy.”

“First wash your hands,” Yelena instructs.

“I was going to.”

“With soap.”

“I know,” Kate insists, pumping her palm full of foam and turning on the faucet with her elbow. “You’re awfully bossy in the kitchen for someone who doesn’t cook.”

Yelena ignores this assessment.

“We need aprons.”

And while Kate’s digging through a low cupboard to look for some, the knees of her purple sweatpants sliding on the tile, Yelena adds, “Cooking is like killing. You don’t want to get all the gunk on your clothes.”

“You…” Kate huffs, standing up and thrusting one of the two aprons she found at Yelena. “…are full of strange wisdom.”

“I know.”

Kate’s already looping the strap of her apron over her head as Yelena unfolds her own, both of them staring at it. Then Kate bursts out laughing.

“That must be Jack’s.”

It’s longer and wider than Kate’s—evidently designed with a larger frame in mind—but the best part, the part that has her eyes tearing, is that the front reads Kiss the Cook in a sassy, swirly script.

“Now that is just mean,” Yelena protests, donning the apron. “Laughing because you think nobody would kiss me.”

Instantly, Kate’s clearing her throat where her laughter gave way to this thick and rubbery feeling. She zips to the mostly-empty grocery bag, stumbling in her sock-feet, and retrieves the potatoes. They roll unevenly across the countertop and she stills them with clammy palms before lurching away.

“I-I don’t think that.”

“Good,” Yelena says firmly. She plucks the knife from the counter. It’s a blur, spinning on her palm, before Yelena’s hand closes confidently around the handle and decisively chops a potato into perfect halves with the blade. “I don’t need to cook fancy things. My mac ’n’ cheese abilities are excellent.”

“They are.”

“It’s very seductive. I could seduce somebody with my mac and cheese from the box. It’s irresistible. They would be so seduced.”

Kate nods, and not just because Yelena has half-turned towards her, gesturing with her very sharp knife. Yelena could seduce somebody with mac and cheese. She did.

The best thing to do, Kate figures, is break the one-sided tension by opening the cranberry sauce and slopping it into a priceless cutglass bowl. It sluuuurps horrifically from the can and Yelena claps and cheers.

“That was disgusting,” she pronounces. “I can’t wait to eat that.”

She bends forward, sniffing carefully at the scarlet jelly. When she tilts her head to check it out from all angles, her braid swings forward. Without thinking, Kate reaches to catch it before Yelena gets food in her hair.

Before she can blink, Yelena’s tight grip is around her wrist. Her expression is a warning—if she still had that coat on, its fur would probably be bristling—but that fades rapidly.

“Reflex,” she says, releasing Kate.

Kate swallows and reaches again for Yelena’s braid, though she’s jerked to stand straight and the food-hair hazard is gone.

“I was just going to…”

Kate finishes explaining by not explaining. In a motion that looks easier than it feels, she brushes Yelena’s braid back over her shoulder.

“There,” she says, exhaling.

For a long minute, Yelena stares back at her. Kate’s eyes start to burn with how much she needs to blink. She can stay strong though—she wasn’t the fifth-grade staring-contest champion for nothing. Then her guest is chopping potatoes again, head bent forward carefully to keep her braid in place.

“Big pieces?” Yelena asks. “Chunks?”

“Yeah. Yeah, uh, not too big, but not… minced or… or anything…” Half of Kate’s brain is dwelling gleefully on the important new information she’s just acquired (what Yelena’s hair feels like) when the other half shifts to the cooking. The potatoes look wrong. Her full brain engages. “Oh shit! We forgot to peel them!”

“Who is ‘we’? ‘We forgot,’” Yelena scoffs, stepping back as Kate edges in to peel the remaining whole potatoes plus the cubes Yelena’s created. “Do I know this instinctually? No. Same way I don’t know you have a specific needle for… for…” She motions to her throat. “…for sew turkey’s neck shut. So rich! So precious about needles! If I had to find a specific neck-sewing needle before I could sew my neck shut, you know what happens? I bleed out. Нет. One needle. Same for hip, same for arm, same for neck.”

Kate pauses and gives Yelena a freaked-out look, eyes wide.

“You’ve really been through it, huh?”

“At least I never had to sew my ass shut, Kate Bishop. Things can always be worse.”

Kate lets out a laugh and Yelena snorts, cracking up with her. Gently, she prods Kate in the ribs, elbowing her aside to take over peeling.

“I know how to peel a potato.”

Kate sighs loudly, throwing up her hands.

“So why didn’t you then?!”

“I thought maybe you like to eat the skin! What am I going to do, ruin your Christmas by taking away your favourite part of the meal? Potato skin?” Another laugh vibrates up Kate’s throat and soon her eyes are blurry with hysterical tears as Yelena goes on, skinning perfect strips off the potatoes all the while. “If I take away all of your potato skins, where will you get your vitamins, Kate Bishop? Hmm? So many irreplaceable health benefits. Maybe you will get very sick and then what for me? I can’t leave when you’re getting scurvy. I can’t have this on my conscience. I am very sensitive.”

Still chuckling, Kate forces out, “How long… so how long are you staying in New York?”

She sees Yelena’s calculating sideways glance and tries to look less curious than she feels. Not too blatantly flippin’ obvious that she wants Yelena to stay. Wants her to want to stay. Kate leans back against the kitchen’s island, drumming her short nails on its side.

Done with the potatoes, Yelena turns, raising her chin as she observes Kate.

“I am still thinking,” she says.

“So you’re not, like, taking off tomorrow or anything.”

“No. Tomorrow is Saturday. It’s much easier to get a flight during the week.”

“Oh, so maybe Monday then.”

Kate’s disappointed and, dammit, she can hear it in her voice. Which means that Yelena can probably spot the fleeting downturn of her mouth. Jeeze, with her honed assassin senses, she can probably smell her disappointment, somewhere under the funk of raw turkey.

Yelena takes a half-step towards her.

“Actually,” she says, “I think the weather is bad here. Not a good time to fly.”

Kate nods.

“Lotta brutal snowstorms in January,” she agrees.

“Maybe I should stay for the rest of the month.” Another tiny step. The space between the counter and the island really isn’t very far. “Leave in February.”

“Y-you could do that,” Kate says, nonchalant. But her hands are sliding up the side of the island to grip the edge.

“I haven’t seen a baseball game yet. I should go to one before I leave America, don’t you think?”

A huffed, surprised laugh leaves Kate.

“Baseball doesn’t start ’til the spring.”

“Then I guess I have to stay until the spring.”

“Where would you stay?”

Yelena glances around the kitchen and back to Kate, smiling meaningfully.

“Well, yeah,” Kate says, “obviously, I would invite you to just stay here, but I don’t wanna ‘take the fun out of breaking and entering.’”

“Thank you.” Yelena glances down at her apron, then up. “And if I stay, I get to wear the apron.”

“Definitely. Every time you cook mac ’n’ cheese.”

“And every time I want you to kiss me and you are having trouble taking the hint.”

Kate’s mouth falls open, but no sound comes out.

“Come over here, Kate Bishop,” Yelena says, voice rough but soft.

Although there’s not a lot of here to come over, Kate pitches forward, cups Yelena’s face in both hands, and bows her head to kiss her. One of Yelena’s hands presses the middle of Kate’s back and the one that settles on her cheek smells like potatoes. The starchiness of the residue feels gross against her skin, but that doesn’t really matter. It’s a grossness to be excited about, like the cranberry sauce, except better.

Kate’s rocking further into Yelena, not wanting this to end now that it’s started, wanting to feel every angle as their heads tilt and their lips nudge and slip, but Yelena pulls back and the kiss ends with the loud, abrupt smack of their mouths separating. Kate blinks.

“Wait wait wait,” Yelena says, twisting and reaching for her back pocket. “Ha!”

She gets her braid off her neck and her bangs out of her eyes with one flick of her head. With a self-congratulatory grin, she presents Kate with a packet of dried meat. Kate squints at it.

“I got you reindeer jerky!” Yelena declares with impatient enthusiasm. “See what a great guest I am? I bring you dessert.”

Kate glances up, expression tight.

“This looks awful,” she says. “And I feel comfortable saying that because you’ve already confirmed it. You said it’s chewy, it’s, uh, tough—”

“Oh, it is the worst.”

Kate’s mouth pulls into an uncontrollable smile.

“I can’t wait. This is an amazing gift.”

“We’ll have it with a strong drink, maybe,” Yelena suggests as Kate tosses the packet onto the island behind her. “Because it is also unbelievably dry.”

“Absolutely. We can swirl our glasses like all my mom’s snotty business associates and gnaw on our jerky.”

“I’ll swirl as long as you don’t have an expensive carpet. I’m not good around expensive carpets. I swear, the liquid just jumps out of the glass.”

“Swirl gently. Little baby swirl.”

Kate motions in the air. Yelena grabs her swirling hand and holds it. With the other, she points to the phrase embroidered across the front of her apron.

“That is handy,” Kate acknowledges, smirking before initiating a second kiss. Just as Yelena’s hand is skimming up the back of her neck, she leans back. “Oh god,” she says, grimacing. “Did my mom and Jack do this?”

“Do not worry about it,” Yelena recommends. She gives Kate’s swaying ponytail a short, playful tug. “Only worry about making me perfect mashed potatoes.”

Kate laughs and rubs her scalp with exaggeration.

“Alright.”

“I’m serious. If they’re no good, I’m leaving.”

Cockily tipping her chin up, Kate smiles.

“Liar.”

#my writing #Hawkeye #Kate Bishop #Yelena Belova #Kate x Yelena #Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova #Hawkeye fic #MCU

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cigarettesandslushies · 4 years ago

Text

destress // jd x stressed!reader

jd helps you destress from studying for midterms

word count: 1,700

tw: language, smut, ambiguous gender but was written for a female!reader in mind

requests & questions

Note: Hello! I’m a new writing blog! I am an aspiring writer and thought it would be fun to get in some practice by writing for some of my favorite fandoms. I’ve been wanting to write JD x Reader fics for a while so I’m happy to finally be doing that. Please feel free to send in requests! This is my first-time writing smut so be gentle with me (even if JD isn’t being gentle with you). -Ellie

“Shit, did a fucking tornado hit your room?”

You didn’t acknowledge the intruder that entered through your bedroom window. You didn’t have the time to. With multiple midterms coming up that you weren’t the least bit prepared for, every second from now until then was precious.

“Not even a hello, darling?”

You could tell that a brow of his was quirked, teasing. He very well knew that midterms were next week. Though, compared to you, he couldn’t give less of a shit. How you wish you could do the same.

“JD, not now.” You warned.

He stood, appraising your midterm wrecked room quietly. Notes, textbooks, and wrappers galore decorated various surfaces, from the floor to the bed to your vanity.

He walked, watching each step as he made his way towards you. You were hunched over your desk, nose deep in one of your textbooks. Your highlighter was tapping against the wood of your desk, keeping time with the anxious bounce of your leg.

He was behind you in the next moment, resting his head against yours. He placed his hands on your thighs firmly, slowing your movements. You took a deep breath, setting your book down. Your head titled up, moving his head from yours in order to meet his gaze.

A slight smile tugged at the corner of your lips upon seeing him. God, he was such a better sight than statistics.

“Hello.” You murmured.

He matched your smile, dropping his volume to yours. “See? Now was that so hard?” He pressed his lips against your forehead. “Hello, darling. How are you? Did you miss me?”

You rested your head back against him. Your eyes fluttered closed, enjoying the warmth of his body. “No. Not even a little bit. Statistics has been the best company.”

“Oh, really? I’m going to wager that stats is fucking you pretty hard.” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Maybe even harder than you.”

“Are you challenging me? You know I always win.”

You took a deep breath. The slight smile gone from your face and replaced with a deep frown. Your eyebrows pulled together, your face scrunching to meet the stress headache growing.

“JD, you know on any other day I would want you to win. I can’t.”

“Come on, give me just an hour.”

“Bullshit.” You were quick to reply. Your eyes flew open to stare up at him. “Like we’ve ever gone just an hour. You keep me for multiple hours which I don’t have. I’m already losing sleep as it is. I promise you can keep me up some other night but tonight-“

He stepped back, grabbing the back of your chair, and spinning you to face him. “Darling,” he drawled slowly. “You’re losing it.”

You blinked once, your gaze falling into your lap as you processed his words. Your hands met your head, elbows resting on your knees as you curled up into yourself. “I know.” You spoke into your hands. “God, JD, I’m so fucking stressed. I have so many midterms to study for without enough hours in the day. I can’t fail these. They’re worth so much of my grade. It will ruin my GPA if I get anything less than-”

“Sh, sh…” he crouched, leveling himself with you. “How about we round up your teachers in an abandoned building and blow it up, hm? Would that make this all better?”

You would have laughed if you didn’t know that he was completely serious. This boy would do anything for you. He’s proved that time and time again. “Getting rid of the teachers wouldn’t get rid of the classes themselves. I’d still have to take the midterms eventually.”

“You’d at least get more time.”

“True.” You agreed. Another deep breath and you lifted your head from your hands. “I think it would just be easier for me to study. It would take time and planning to pull it off and anyway, do you want to go through a whole grieve fest at school?”

“It would make for an interesting week.”

“You aren’t funny.”

“No, I’m hilarious.” He took your hands in his, pulling you up from your seat. “Fine, no offing the teachers, but you know the more that you try to cram all that shit in your head, the more it will spill out. Breaks are healthy, recommended even.”

A finger under your chin, a thumb resting below your lip, he brought his face closer to yours. He was close, too close. You smelled his last cigarette and a cherry slushie lingering in his breath.

“Let me help you destress.” He ghosted the words over your lips. How could you ever think that you could deny him? How could you ever think that he wouldn’t get his way?

All it took was a quiet please and his hands were everywhere.

With one swift movement, JD knocked the contents of your desk onto the floor. With another, you were sitting on top of it, legs wrapped tightly around his waist. He caught your lips with his, too slow, too gentle.

You didn’t have the patience for his teasing.

You intertwined your fingers in his hair, tugging him closer. You pressed your lips harder against his, showing him your eagerness to have him, just as he wanted.

You could feel him smirk against your lips, his hands moving to undress you from the waist down.

“Well, would you look at that? For someone who didn’t want to even acknowledge me, you sure are eager to have me inside of you.”

You bit back a moan, his words touching you before he even laid a hand between your legs.

Fucking asshole and his way with dirty talk.

“Jason Dean, you’re a pain in my ass.” You replied breathlessly.

A low chuckle followed as you dragged your lips across his jawline in a sporadic series of kisses. You bucked your hips up towards him, a sign for him to hurry the hell up and take you already.

You would have been surprised if he actually took the sign instead of ignoring it and taking another direction.

“Nu uh, darling. I can’t shove my cock in you and fuck you into the desk until the wood chips just yet. With how stressed you are over midterms, I’m not sure if you can handle it. So let me loosen you up first, hm?”

He didn’t wait to slip a finger inside of you, then two, and then three. You leaned back along the desk, your elbows barely keeping you up and steady. He set a rhythm, relishing the sounds that you made for him and him alone. Whimpers, gasps, and moans alike were all tangled with his name.

He felt you were getting close. He could always tell, sometimes before you even knew. You never quite knew how close you were to falling off the edge until he was pulling away from you, leaving you empty and longing for him to fill you again.

Just like he liked it.

“JD,” you breathed shakily. You didn’t realize that your elbows had failed you early on and you were lying completely flat against the desk. You shifted your weight, lifting yourself back up and onto your elbows once more. Your eyes narrowed when you caught his gaze.

“What? Did you not want to cum on my cock after all?” He asked innocently, a contrast to the words that came from his mouth.

“God, I could kill you.”

“There can be only one killer in this relationship, darling.” He drawled, undoing his jeans. He was hard and so ready to fuck you until you couldn’t remember the population versus the sample. He hesitated, almost expecting another retort, another “you’re not funny”, but no. You weren’t going to drag this out any longer. You wanted him now.

You needed him now.

“JD, please. For the love of god, fuck me.”

He didn’t even have to ask for a please. He knew that meant there was nothing else in your head but wanting him to fuck you.

Would there ever come a time that he wouldn’t get exactly what he wanted?

“Only because you asked so nicely.” It only took a single beat, a single thrust before he was inside of you completely, barely giving you a chance to adjust to him. You let yourself fall back onto the desk, crying out his name.

The rhythm he set was faster, rougher. His fingers curled over your shoulders. His hands pushed you down as his hips pushed you up. Every thrust was met with force. He never let you move. He did the moving for you. He was in full control, using your body for his pleasure which just so happened to cause you pleasure.

A perfect match, that’s what he said, and you believed it. He knew exactly where to hit the tip of his cock to make you-

“JD, I’m getting-”

“Mmm, I can feel that. I didn’t think you could get any tighter.”

“JD-”

His lips caught the rest of your whine. His movements were sloppier now, his hands messily tangling themselves in your hair. He was close too.

As he pulled back ever so slightly, he uttered three words. “Cum for me.”

With that, you came undone and he followed closely behind. Screams and moans of ecstasy were muffled against one another’s lips. It took a few moments for the both of you to catch your breath. He waited until your breathing steadied to pull out.

He pressed his lips against your forehead. “There. That should get you through stats.”

You laughed. “It should, but is it going to get me through French?”

“Finish studying for stats and we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Let’s get you cleaned up and while you finish studying, I’ll go get you some real food. No more of this granola shit.”

He began walking towards the bathroom but stopped halfway across your room. He didn’t turn to look at you when he said:

“You’re one of the smartest people I know. I know it’s not much coming from a town full of slaves and blanks but if there’s anyone who can pass these midterms it’s you.”

He continued walking.

#jd #jason dean #heathers #jd heathers #jason dean heathers #jd fanfic #jason dean fanfic #heathers fanfic #jd x reader #jason dean x reader #heathers jd #heathers jason dean

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dfdph · 4 years ago

Text

Daffodil

Author D.

Pairing Jungkook / Reader (female)

Genre Med AU | Romance | Angst | Fluff

Warning Mentions of cheating

Word count 21k

Summary “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once. But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him. Oh my god, what did I just say! Oh my God. This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”

Disclaimer English is not my first language and I might be a little out of practice.

A/N This is a continuation of Snapdragon, it is strongly recommended to read it first! I made good use of my Grey’s Anatomy knowledge. This is yet to be proof read. To be edited.

Freesia (drabble)

Part 1

Mar. - June

The cup of coffee had run cold in her hands, untouched. She had been staring at it for quite a while now, lost in her chaotic thoughts, trying unsuccessfully to calm down her breathing. She was well aware of the fact that her hands had never sweat that much in her life and that her lower lip was a another bite away from bleeding.

Y/N had never been this anxious before, not even the day she waited for the acceptance notice from her Med School of choice. Maybe that was it. Choice. She didn’t have any this time. Her future was in the hands of an algorithm.

She had spent last night tossing around in her bed, thinking. The fact that she couldn’t control in any way the results of the Match drove her crazy. Yes, she did submit a rank list and yes, she did aced both her Medical Licensing Examinations and yes, she was top of the class of one of the best Medical programs of the country. But this time she was not sure that was going to be enough.

Residency programs were highly competitive, especially those of general surgery. The best teaching hospitals only took a bunch of interns every year and obviously everyone wanted to get in their first choice. Unfortunately, that wasn’t always the case. Once the algorithm had decided your destination, that was it, there was no changing it. You could either accept it or take a year off and try again.

The uncertainty scared Y/N to no end. Since she was a teenager she had had her future planned perfectly. It was a detailed seven-steps-plan that she swore with her life to follow rigorously. First, graduate high school with the highest GPA and do some volunteering in the big public clinic in her neighborhood. Second, get into the best college and get a Major in Biology. Third, ace the Medical College Admission Test. Four, get into the best Med School of the country. Five, attend Med School and pass all the Boards top of the class. Six, get into the best general surgery residency program and complete it. Seven, finish fellowship in Cardio-thoracics.

Steps one to five weren’t too difficult to achieve. Y/N wasn’t presumptuous - not too much anyways -, but she was one to work hard to reach her goals, whatever they may be. Always independent and maybe a little bit too proud, Y/N was confident in saying that she got where she were all by herself. She liked having control over her life, so this time, for step number six of her plan, it was only normal that she was a bit more anxious than usual.

She dreaded the Match Day. What if she wasn’t accepted into her first choice? If she wanted to become a great heart surgeon she needed to get into the best surgery program. Of course, she knew that getting into any program was something to be happy about - but who was she kidding, the best was the best for a reason. And she wanted it.

She had been working hard since she was fourteen. Fast forward 12 years and she was now 26 years old, two steps away from finally achieving her dream.

This was it.

It was customary to attend a big party during Match Day, one where all the aspiring residents would open their envelopes all together to share their destiny, good or bad. It wasn’t Y/N’s type of thing. She invited only the closest to her, all now sitting in her small living room. Her brother Seokjin had taken a few days off from work and had flew miles to be with her on this special day. He wished, just as much as Y/N did, that she would be assigned to the teaching hospital of her choice, not only because it had the best surgery program but also because it was the very same hospital he was working in as a nurse. He couldn’t wait to finally have her little sister back home and to call her his colleague.

Sitting next to Seokjin was Namjoon, her forever best friend. Even if the two of them parted ways after college - the man choosing to stay in order to earn a Master in Diplomacy and International Relations - they continuously stayed in contact through the years, as if they lived only a few minutes apart. It was clear that their bond was unbreakable. Any excuse was good enough to go and visit his best friend and today wasn’t an exception. Just like Seokjin, Namjoon gladly took a few days off from his job as a Foreign Affairs Specialist on the making and brought with him his longtime girlfriend Ashley.

Over the years the two girls had built a strong bond, to the point that they called each other the best of friends. Of course, Namjoon loved the fact that the two most important women in his life were so close. Ashley was the best girl friend Y/N ever had - she always preferred hanging out with men. Girls were typically over competitive about even the smallest and shallowest of things, a trait that Y/N didn’t appreciate because - well, she already was the most competitive person she knew, and she was more than enough. Ashley, on the other hand, was anything but. She somehow lived in her own world made of flowers and trees, bringing the carelessness that sometimes Y/N unfortunately lacked of.

Beside her was Y/N’s boyfriend of two years, Hoseok. The two of them had known each other since college, him being a waiter in Y/N’s favorite coffee shop, but weren’t actually that close. After graduation, just as simple acquaintances do, they parted ways and never talked to each other again. Until two years later, after accepting a job offer as a choreographer for a big dancing school, Hoseok moved in the apartment next to Y/N’s. The transition was easy after that: a couple of drinks reminiscing about the past and a couple of dates talking about the future.

Y/N found in Hoseok the perfect boyfriend, so perfect, in fact, that sometimes she found herself thinking that he was especially crafted for her. He was just as ambitious and hard working as her, so they often found themselves encouraging each other. He knew how to lift the over bearing pressure over her shoulders and she was the inspiration in his everyday life. As a couple, they had a lot of fun, sometimes by going to crafty original dates and sometimes just by dancing around in their now shared living room.

When the time to send the applications for the Resident Matching Program came, Y/N found herself surprisingly hesitant because winning an internship meant that she would likely had to move across the country. She didn’t doubt for a second that following her dreams was the right thing to do, it was still her first priority, but she knew that it was a choice that would bring a strain to their perfect relationship. Yet Hoseok once again didn’t disappoint her.

The evening that they sat on the couch together to talk about it, the man stayed silent for a moment before releasing a long breath. He hugged her close and reassured her, saying that they both knew that this moment was going to come, that he would never ask her to stay for something as trivial as distance and that she had worked too hard to get where she was to second guess. Even if it was going to be difficult he was going to support her no matter what, even if it meant that he had to quit his job and move across the country with her. A part of Y/N knew it was egoistical of her to find comfort in his words, but nevertheless felt reassured that they were on the same page as always.

So the plan was this: Y/N would move wherever she had to, in time for the beginning of her training in July, and Hoseok would follow her in June, once the project he was working on was completed. They knew they could bear a few months apart and jokingly took it as a chance to test their love.

Hoseok knew very well how important this moment was for Y/N. Since they were in college she was famous for being the perfect student, the valedictorian of their year. He knew how hard she worked for this very day and he also knew how scared she was of not being matched to her dream surgery program. He knew that she wasn’t able to sleep last night, he felt her tossing around beside him, lost in her thoughts. He didn’t try to comfort her though because he knew it wasn’t what she needed and that it would only worsen her anxiety.

The signs of her distress was clear all over her body, everyone from the couch could see them. She was still staring at her coffee cup, biting away over her lip. She was pale and even the make up she had put on for the occasion couldn’t hide the dark circles under her eyes. The computer was all set up in front of her on the coffee table, her inbox page ready to be refreshed for the special email.

“Am I the only one who doesn’t understand why she’s so anxious?”, Seokjin murmured in Namjoon’s ear. “She’s literally the smartest person on this planet.”

“I know, right?”, the other boy murmured back. “As if she ever failed anything in her life.”

“Yeah. Do you know how annoying that is? I’m stuck with being the handsome and funny one in the family.” Y/N’s brother sighed dramatically making the others laugh.

“Now that I’m thinking about it, I actually did never saw her fail in anything. Not once.”, Namjoon huffed. “You’re right, she’s gonna get what she wants this time as well.”

“No doubt.”, Ashley nodded.

“Come on, guys.”, Hoseok said under his breath, trying to hide a smile. “She’s human too.”

“Are you sure?”, the three of them responded all together, louder than they meant to.

Y/N jumped from her place on the armchair, startled by the sound. “What?”, she asked looking up.

“Nothing, sis. We were just talking about how unnecessarily anxious you are.”

“Jin!”

“Come on, Ash. You were with us just a second ago. She’s gonna get in and we all know it.”

Y/N gasped. “Oh my god! I swear if you just jinxed it I’m going to kill you.”

“As if.”

Y/N sighed and run her hands through her hair. “I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Seriously.”

Hoseok walked up to stand beside her and put an arm around her shoulders reassuringly. “Babe, what we’re saying is that you’re so brilliant that it is statistically impossible for you to not be matched to your first choice. You have nothing to worry about.”

“You guys are really jinxing it.” she cried leaning against her boyfriend. The man hugged her closer.

“Listen, Y/N.” Seokjin sighed as theatrical as always. “No one was surprised when you got a scholarship for three of the best colleges of the country. No one was surprised when you entered Med School either. And no one is going to be surprised this time as well. I’m telling you ... if you don’t get that internship at that goddamn hospital I am going to pierce my tongue!”

The woman giggled, successfully distracted. “I’m going to hold you to that.”

“That you do.”

“Anyways, guys.” Ashley exclaimed. “It’s almost time!”

Y/N looked down at her wrist watch: 11.58 a.m. Ashley was right, two more minutes and her future was going to begin. She actually said that same phrase at least three other times in her life and also meant it , but this one was different. Her residency would define the surgeon she was going to be and to be the best surgeon, she needed to match with the best program.

She felt her heartbeat fasten once again and before she knew it she started clicking on the refresh button aggressively.

11.59. Nothing yet.

She was really going to have a heart attack at 26. Which, now that she thought about it, was very ironic since she wanted to become a Cardio-thoracic surgeon.

12.00. One last refresh. The others leant forward, ready to capture every change in her expression. Ready to celebrate.

There was it, punctual as predicted. With a trembling finger Y/N clicked on the link, holding her breath.

Hoseok was the first one to react. He smiled widely just a few seconds after the page opened. It wasn’t easy to miss it, really: it was written in bold black letters. Y/N, on the other hand, had to read the sentence at least ten times before believing it.

“Oh my god.”, she gasped.

“Come on, guys. On my three let’s all act surprised!”

“Remember to call me when you get there.” Hoseok said, squeezing his girlfriend in his arms. This was more difficult that the both of them thought it would be.

They were standing a few meters away from the airport security gates, saying their goodbyes before Y/N’s flight. Three weeks had passed since Y/N discovered she was accepted to her dream job. She was ecstatic, of course. Everything she ever wanted was coming true. Plus, after four years away she finally got to go back home, even if it meant living with her annoying brother again. She couldn’t wait to practice real medicine on real patients with real pathologies. She could finally start calling herself a doctor. Doctor Y/L/N. She loved the sound of that.

Of course, the downside of it all was that she had to leave Hoseok behind. Even if it was only for a couple of months. Knowing that this moment was bound to arrive didn’t make it any easier.

“I’m going to miss you so much.” she murmured in his chest, inhaling deeply. She was going to miss his smell, so particular - it was what she thought the sun would smell like, mixed with a little bit of vanilla. She was going to miss how his hugs would engulf her and make her feel safe, or the way he laughed, his boisterous laugh. Jung Hoseok was the only one who could make her stop from continuously running. He brought peace in her overworking mind.

“I’m going to miss you too.” he sighed kissing her forehead. “But we are going to get through this. I’m going to call you every hour ‘til you get tired of me.”

Y/N smiled. “If you do call me every hour I will get tired of you.”, she looked up to his eyes, her chin resting on his chest. “A call every five hours should do it.”

“Every five hours? That sounds outrageous.”

“Doctors are very busy, don’t you know that?”

Hoseok smiled sweetly down at her. “Doctor.”, he repeated proudly. “My girlfriend is a doctor. How cool is that?”

“Super cool.” Y/N giggled.

The man sighed one more time, turning serious once again. He leaned to give her a slow but deep kiss, trying to convey all his emotions. “I love you.”, he was usually the shiest of the pair in voicing his emotions, but this time there was no holding back.

Y/N felt a single tear running down her cheek. “I love you too.”

“Don’t you feel like we’re two overdramatic teenagers?”

The woman giggled giving him a cheesy peck on the lips. “Who cares.”

Moving back with her brother was just as annoying as she predicted it was going to be. She loved him to bits, really, but after four years she forgot how exasperating Seokjin could be.

He still lived in the same apartment as years ago, the one near her college, but he had completely taken over it, as it was expected. It became the definition of a man cave, complete with unironed sheets and expired milk bottles. His excuse was the lack of time and energy caused by his agonizing long shifts at the hospital, to which Y/N often responded that it was only an excuse and what he really needed was a partner in his life. The bright side was that he was still the great cook she remembered he was.

With the move Y/N rediscovered her old habits. For starters she began going on frequent jogs again, something she had stopped doing because it turned out that Med School was much more demanding and draining than college. The neighborhood park was as beautiful as she remembered, especially with the spring colors. And it was during one of those morning runs that she bumped into her old Physiology teacher, Professor Lee, the one she used to TA for. She was extremely fond of him. He was the most feared teacher of their major, the most strict and hated of them all. But he was actually quite pleasant with Y/N, he was the one who wrote the greatest recommendation letter she could hope for, the one that most probably got her into Med School. They caught up on their lives over a cup of americano in her favorite coffee shop, the very one near the big fountain in their college square.

That was a nice trip to memory lane too. For instance, that was the place where she met Hoseok for the very first time. But aside from him, the place did hold a lot of memories. Most of them very happy too. And most of them involved a group of loud boys.

For the first time since forever she found herself thinking about them, wondering how they were doing. They shared a lot of time together during senior year, they were practically inseparable. It was unfortunate that they parted ways in such an unfriendly manner.

Discovering that her boyfriend of the time, the one she thought had cheated on her, the one she hated like no one else, was actually a good man ... well, it didn’t do any good to her conscience. She thought about reaching out to him, to clear things up and give their relationship the conclusion it deserved. But too much time had passed and she didn’t find it in her to open old wounds. For all she knew he moved on with his life. The truth was, she was just too proud.

It burdened her for quite some time, until it didn’t anymore.

She smiled thinking about it now, because what felt like the biggest heartbreak of her life was actually just a few months fling. Insignificant compared to what she had with Hoseok.

“I found this great apartment ten minutes from the hospital.” she was just telling him over the phone. “It’s a little bit small but it has all we need. It’s freshly renovated and the shower is quite big.”

“We do love a big shower.”

“We do.”, Y/N nodded stealing a potato chip from her brother who was scrolling through the Netflix page for their movie night. “I also did some research and there’s this dance school just a couple blocks away. It’s nothing like the one you are working in now but it looked nice.”

“Nice is good, I suppose.”, Hoseok giggled. “I can work with nice.”

“If they hire you you can make them great. No, Jin. Not The Hangover again. Let’s watch something serious for once.”

“Serious is annoying. And we already have you for that.” Seokjin responded pointedly.

“Shut up. Hobi, I’m telling you, I can’t wait for you to get here so I can finally get rid of my obnoxious brother.”

Since her training wasn’t going to start ‘til July, Y/N had a lot of time in her hands. Months of it. It was nice the very first weeks but it soon got boring. She settled all there was to be settled and now she didn’t know what to do with herself. She was beginning to feel restless, she wasn’t used to having so much free time. She started second guessing her decision to move so many months prior the beginning of the program. Other than apartment hunting and settling those couple of other boring things, she discovered that there really was no need to leave this early. She could be with her boyfriend now.

Hoseok, on the other hand, was busier than ever. His crew was hired to dance in a music video of a pop singer, which was supposedly a big thing, something that would open him - the main dancer and the choreographer - a lot of doors in the industry. So over the past month all he ever did was work in the dance studio, to the point that he almost lived there and he was so busy and tired that their daily calls got shorter and shorter. Not that Y/N blamed him, she was happy for this opportunity. If anything it lifted a heavy burden from her shoulders. The truth was she felt guilty for putting her dreams before his, for forcing him to leave everything to follow her. He never blamed her for it, of course. He never showed an ounce of hesitation.

To keep herself occupied, Y/N decided to bring her new sketchbook and pencils to her new favorite coffee shop down the street. She discovered it during one of her runs and fell in love with it. It was small but cozy, with wooden furniture, lots of plants and delicious chocolate muffins.

Drawing was one of those hobbies she had lost during Med School and rediscovered during this period of vacation. Since she lost practice, she wasn’t as good as she was before and wasn’t as satisfied with her portraits as she used to, crumpling and wasting more paper than she cared to admit.

Today’s subject was a little boy, peacefully doing his homework with his legs dangling under the table, his mother next to him reading a heavy looking book while sipping a cup of something smoking hot. He was just too cute to ignore. She was just sketching his left eye when she suddenly heard a male voice calling her name.

“Y/N? Is that you?”

She looked up at the sound. It took her a second to recognize the man standing next to her. He had changed over the years, looking more mature. He was wearing glasses now, a pair that made him look alluring, a vibe enhanced by his attire: black turtleneck, black trousers and black chelsea boots.

“Yoongi?” Y/N exclaimed standing up. She gave him a quick instinctive hug, her body moving on its own accord. The man didn’t seem to mind, embracing her back with the same amount of affection. She couldn’t help but being surprised of seeing him. What were the chances of meeting someone you haven’t talked to for years in such a big city?

“How are you?” the man sincerely smiled down to her. He too looked genuinely happy to see her. “It’s been ages since we last saw each other.”

“My graduation.” she nodded sitting back down. “I’m fine, great actually. How about you? Hey,” she added shyly, not waiting for an answer. “Why don’t you seat with me. We could catch up.”

“Actually,” Yoongi responded tentatively. “I’m meeting with the guys. Do you mind if they join us? I bet they would be happy to see you.”

“By the guys, you mean the guys? You’re still in touch with each other?”

Yoongi smirked sitting down on the chair in front of her and ordering an ice americano to a passing by waiter. “Of course we are. We’re brothers, you know?”

Y/N smiled fondly in response. “Right.” They really were brothers. Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were inseparable even back then. For a period of time Y/N was part of that family too. She felt nostalgic all of a sudden. “How are they? How are they doing?”

“They’re doing great. Jimin and Taehyung work for the same magazine and are still as annoying as ever.” he smirked. “I’m still working in that research laboratory from years ago, remember? The one that hired me straight out of college.”

“What about Jungkook?” Y/N asked. “Did he get into Med School?”

“He did, actually. He’s going to start his residency this summer.” he answered. “How about you? Are you still focused on becoming the greatest heart surgeon of the country?”

“You remember that?” Y/N giggled, recognizing her old catch phrase. “Of course I am. I’m starting my residency this summer too.”

“Really? In the city? In what hospital? You and Jungkook might go to the same one.”

Before she could answer his question, Y/N heard her name being called once again, this time by two loud men. Jimin and Taehyung walked up to them with complete surprise printed on their faces. The last thing they expected to see that morning was their long-time friend sitting next to such a familiar face.

Just like Yoongi, the two boys had changed quite a lot over four years. If possible, they became even more handsome. Taehyung had longer hair now, dark wavy locks falling over his eyes, giving him some kind of gloomy and mysterious vibe. He seemed broader too, his shoulders wider than she remembered. His fashion style had changed too, going from college heartthrob to company executive. Jimin had gone blonde, a color that suited him very well, in a manner that made him look ethereal like a prince. He looked like he walked straight from a fashion shoot, wearing luxurious looking shoes and sunglasses and standing there with all of his confident aura.

Y/N didn’t need to look around to know that their presence had captured the attention of everyone inside the shop and she found herself smiling.

Just like the old days.

“Jimin, Taehyung.” she saluted them with a hug as well. She wasn’t sure if it was to be considered awkward greeting someone she hadn’t seen for years like that, but she did it nonetheless. “Long time no see.”

“No kidding!” the blonde said, grabbing a chair from the next table to join them. Taehyung followed him suit. “Are you back in town?”

Y/N nodded. “I was just saying to Yoongi that I’m going to take my residency here.”

“In that big ass hospital a few minutes from here?” Jimin asked.

“Yeah, that.”

“Jungkook also got accepted there.” Taehyung said before furrowing his brows. “That might be awkward.” He added before he could stop himself.

Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t think so. It’s all water under the bridge. I mean, it was a long time ago.” she answered sincerely. All her feelings for him had vanished years ago. Truth be told, their memories together had become blurry too, a little bit romanticized even. Those few times she inevitably found herself thinking about him over the past few weeks was with fondness and a little bit of regret, but nothing more.

Yoongi sighed. “About that.” he exchanged a furtive look with the others. “We never had the chance to clear things out. I’m not sure this is the right time or place since we just met each other again, but the thing is -”

The woman put a hand up interrupting him. “There’s no need, Yoongi. Sarah explained everything to me a couple of months after graduation.”

The boys stared at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

“Sarah? That Sarah?” Taehyung clarified.

Y/N nodded. “That Sarah. She sent me a message after she learned about me and Jungkook.” She remembered how unexpected it had been, much like a bolt from the blue. Just when all thoughts of him had finally disappeared, after weeks of anger and pain, everything she believed he did turned out to be a total misunderstanding. It gave her quite a whiplash.

“Then, if you knew what really happened, why didn’t you contact us?” Jimin asked with a pout, half teasing and half serious. “We tried reaching out to you a lot of times but ...”

“Don’t try making her feel guilty, Jimin.” Yoongi rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

“No, he’s right.” the girl sighed playing with the teaspoon of her hot chocolate. After leaving their frat house that morning, the three boys had tried speaking to her for weeks, calling her, waiting for her after her classes and even coming to her apartment. But she never gave them a chance, too hurt to be able to separate her feelings towards Jungkook from those for the three of them. “I should have called you.” she admitted. “It’s just that ... I don’t know. I thought it was futile, too much time had passed. We all moved on with our lives by then.”

The guys exchanged a quick knowing look, a little sad.

“I am sorry.” she said finally, looking up. “I guess it was immature of me.”

“We get it.”, Yoongi reassured her with a smile. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you.”

“Anyways,”, Taehyung clapped. “What’s done is done, we can all be friends again now.”

So they spent the next hour talking and laughing, catching up about their lives and awakening their old friendship while waiting for Jungkook, who was running late. It was simple to fall at ease with each other and Y/N was grateful too see that there was no awkwardness between them. More than what happened with Jungkook, she regretted cutting ties with them the most. Maybe it was strange, they barely spent together half a year, but she really was fond of them. What she loved the most about them was how easily they could make her laugh. She never admitted it out loud, but with all the stress that came with senior year their company became her only escape from reality.

“So tell us, Y/N.”, Jimin said with a teasing tone. “How’s your love life going?”

She shook her head amused. “Still a gossiper I see.”

“Come on, its been four years since you broke up with Jungkook. You said it yourself, all water under the bridge. No hard feelings here. I wanna know the juicy stuff.”

Y/N laughed. “Fine. I’ve been in a relationship for two years. You might remember him actually. Hoseok? From college?”

“Hoseok?”, Taehyung repeated. “The waiter from our coffee shop?”

Y/N nodded.

“Wow.”, Jimin exhaled. “Isn’t he the one who spilled the beans about Jungkook and Sarah?”

“Jimin.”, Yoongi admonished him once again.

“What? It’s a fact! It’s not like I’m accusing him or anything.”, the other snorted. “I liked the guy.”

“Is it weird?”, Y/N asked sincerely curious. “Not that it matters, but do you think Jungkook will find it weird?”

“Found what weird?”, asked a voice making Y/N jump on her seat for the third time that morning. “Y/N.”, he breathed. “I thought it was you.”

If the other guys changed, Jungkook went through a complete evolution. He was already something before, but this ... this was another thing altogether. Just like Taehyung, he had grown his hair longer and got a lot more muscular, he also got both of his ears pierced, more than a couple of silver rings adorning them. He had a black leather jacket over a black shirt, a couple of buttons undone showing maybe a little bit too much of his chest. His jaw was as sharp as ever and his eyes shone with a mischievous light.

She would never admit it but her heart did skip a bit.

“Jungkook.”

Meeting Jungkook again went more bizarrely than what she expected. She had to admit that she did thought about it more than once, years ago, fantasized even. She thought about what she would say to him, what he would say to her. She imagined them getting back together, or parting ways once again. She thought about saying sorry to him for not giving him the benefit of the doubt. And then she stopped thinking about it altogether.

But seeing him again that day ... well, it was weird. The fact that he looked completely different from what she remembered was stupidly surprising. Whenever he popped into her mind she imagined the old Jungkook, frozen in time, not this. Back in college he already was handsome and charismatic, the very good looking and talented quarterback that everybody loved and admired. But this was a whole other level of ridiculous. And Y/N was only human, she didn’t even had the time to control her thoughts before it was too late.

He was sexy as hell.

So she felt somehow uneasy, despite what she had said just minutes ago about things being in the past. Plus, to make the situation even weirder, the fact that they ended things the way that they did made the both of them act like two awkward teenagers.

“Hi.”

“How are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you. How about you?”

“I’m fine, too.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah.”

The other boys watched the scene with amusement. It was only predictable that two exes meeting again after a long time would act that way. None of them expected hugs and kisses, of course.

“Sorry I’m late, guys.”, Jungkook finally said, looking away from Y/N and sitting on the empty chair they saved for him. They were getting a little too crowded around the table which was originally meant for two people, but none of them made a move.

“No problem.”, responded Jimin. “Y/N here was keeping us great company. Where were you anyways?”

“Uhm.”, Jungkook mumbled scratching his neck, clearly embarrassed. “Lisa’s car broke down so I had to pick her up.”

Y/N felt uneasy, the sole reason being that he looked in discomfort as well. She could only imagine that Lisa was his girlfriend.

“Is she okay?”, Taehyung asked.

“Yeah, she was just running late for work so she asked me to accompany her.”

There was a moment of silence where Taehyung, Jimin and Yoongi watched as the other two avoided looking at each other.

Y/N had no memory of Jungkook being timid, if anything he was one of the most confident person she knew. Now that she thought about it, they often bickered over their respective cockiness. She sighed, gathering some courage to speak.

This is ridiculous. We broke up ages ago.

“The guys told me that you’re starting your residency this summer.”, she said at the end. Someone had to act maturely.

“Oh yeah. This July.”, he answered, looking happy that she had taken the first step. “How about you? Are you back in town?”

“Yeah. We’re going to be colleagues, actually.”, she said tentatively watching his reaction.

He smiled lightly at her, unsurprised. “I was sure we would be.”, he admitted catching Y/N and the others by surprise.

“You were?”, she exclaimed.

“You always aimed for the best.”, he smirked knowingly, finally resembling the smug boy she remembered.

Y/N was brought back to four years ago, when they used to study together between their busy schedules aiming for the same goal, when they used to spur each other in the moments of doubt. She finally remembered.

He was proud, he didn’t like asking for her help unless it was strictly necessary, and those times he caved he would later reprimand himself for not being able to understand the concept on his own, always thanking her with a kiss because he wasn’t competing against her but with himself. There were times when she was so tired that she would get pessimistic and cynical, it was a trait of her personality that only few people knew because she didn’t like being seen weak. Jungkook was always there when those moments came, he could tell just by the way she would start scribbling angry lines on the side of her notes. He didn’t try talking her out of it saying things like ‘you have no reason to worry’ or ‘you can do it”, because he knew that they were meaningless words. What he did was make her hot chocolate with a lot of cream and a lot of marshmallows, he would sit on the couch and cradle her like a baby, humming the first song that came to mind. Y/N loved it, it made her feel all warm inside. Jungkook knew all of her struggles, he knew how hard she worked for what she wanted and how more often than not she was close to giving up. And he had been there for her.

Y/N smiled back. “That I still do.”

And just like that the ice was broken.

It came naturally. That day at the coffee shop was only the beginning of their renewed friendship. A couple of days after that they went for drinks, joined by Namjoon and Ashley, restoring the old group. It was like senior year all over again, but at the same time it was nothing like it. All of them had changed over the years, some more than others. Jungkook, for example, had become quieter, more tranquil. He still made silly jokes and smart remarks, sure, but not as much as Y/N remembered. She guessed it was only right, she had probably changed too.

After the initial embarrassment, the two connected easily and Y/N discovered that she quite liked the idea of them being friends again. She had to admit that just for a second she wondered if it was wrong of her to hang out with him again, giving that he was her ex boyfriend and she was now with someone else. But she convinced herself rather easily that she wasn’t doing anything bad, after all ignoring him would have meant that there were still some kind of feelings lingering between them and that was not the case. She talked to Hoseok about it nonetheless, not because she wanted his permission but out of respect. He did seemed a bit jealous about it but was mature enough to know that it was not right of him to stop her.

Besides, Jungkook was with someone as well. She learned about Lisa, his girlfriend of over a year who he had met while jogging at the park - Y/N teased him about it, since that their relationship had started in the same way. And when they discovered that both Lisa and Hoseok were professional dancers, they both had a field day. Y/N also learned that he didn’t want to become a pediatric surgeon anymore, but changed his goal to trauma surgery, surprising her quite a lot. Jungkook then told her how he had received an offer to play in the NFL just a couple of days after they broke up but ended up turning it down, living Y/N with an uneasy feeling. It gave them an excuse to finally talk about what happened between them.

“Was it my fault?” she asked seriously, looking down at her drink.

“Of course not.” he reassured her. “It was never my dream.”

“I know.” she replied looking back up at him. They were leaning against the wall, getting some fresh air while the others where inside the bar doing drinking games in honor of their reunion. “Still, it was a big opportunity.”

“Huge.” Jungkook corrected her with a smile. “I could have been worth millions now.”

“And living in an expensive loft, driving expensive cars.” she joked back.

“Instead I’m sharing a small apartment with Yoongi hyung and driving a second hand wreck.”

Y/N giggled at the dichotomy. The road to become doctors wasn’t an easy one for sure. “Have you ever regretted it?”

“More than I care to admit.” he sighed. “If I have to tell the truth I almost said yes.” he paused to look at her from the corner of his eyes. “Because of Sarah.”

“Oh. Of course.” He taught he needed to be able to take care of his child and its mother within a very short time, playing as a professional quarterback would have been the most obvious choice. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because I knew deep down that it wouldn’t make me happy.” he answered looking up to the night sky. “Because just like you, I wanted to realize my dreams, even if it meant that I had to work two jobs. Which I ended up doing, by the way.”

“Even after ... you know, you discovered that the baby wasn’t yours?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook sighed once again. “My parents didn’t take it well - both the fact that I got a random girl pregnant and that I refused such a once in a lifetime opportunity. I don’t know if you remember, but our relationship was already strained and it pretty much broke after that.”

“I’m sorry.” Y/N murmured sadly. She could only imagine what a difficult time he could have had.

“It’s not your fault.” he reassured her.

“Maybe not, but I played a part in it all.” she said drinking in a single sip what was left of her drink. “I really am sorry. For everything.”, she took a deep breath before speaking again. “I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. I should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I should have asked you for an explanation. And after I discovered the truth I should have called you to clear things up. I was immature.” she admitted.

Jungkook shook his head. “I don’t blame you, after all I did cheat on you, even if I don’t remember it. I would have reacted the same. Besides, I should have fought for you, instead of letting you walk away just like that. Despite Sarah’s pregnancy, I should have fought for you.”

They shared a sad smile, recognizing their faults. A lot of things could have gone differently if they’ve put aside their pride. But it was too late now, a lot of things had changed.

“Maybe ...” Y/N spoke after a moment of heavy silence. “Maybe we really didn’t want to solve things. Maybe we didn’t want it enough. If we did we both would have fought harder, don’t you think?”

“I guess so.”, he answered looking up at the sky again.

“Maybe it was supposed to go as it did,”, she added. “So that we could be with those who we love today.”

Jungkook bit the inside of his cheek, uneasy. “Maybe.”

Y/N and Hoseok were talking on the phone just like every evening. The first weeks apart had been difficult for both of them since they were used to be together almost 24/7. A year into their relationship Y/N had given up her apartment to move into Hoseok’s, which was only a natural choice since he literally lived next door. Living together as a couple worked perfectly fine for both of them. Hoseok was a very tidy person who loved to keep the house in order, unfortunately he was a disaster in the kitchen so Y/N had finally found an excuse to put to practice all she had learnt from her home cook brother. Their timetables were mostly the same, Hoseok working at the dancing studio till dawn and Y/N attending Med School classes five times a week. On Saturdays and Sundays they would often go on dates, they especially liked going on last minute trips and visit nearbye cities, and sometimes they liked being a little more adventurous by trying adrenalic activities such as bungee jumping and hang gliding. Yet there were also times when they were both too tired and they would end up spending the weekend in their pajamas watching reruns of their favorite series.

Hoseok was the typical man the girls dreamed of. Not only he was good looking, but he was also passionate and smart. He was kind and very considerate. He knew how to listen and he knew how to laugh. He rarely got mad but he stayed true to his values and ideals and when he knew that something was morally wrong he didn’t hesitate to speak out about it. Hoseok was sweet and very loving, he never stopped courting Y/N, always the hopeless romantic. She was lucky because she never wanted for anything with him.

“I’ve been drawing a lot lately.” she told him while taking a bite from her pepperoni pizza. Dinner time was usually when their calls would take place and to have some privacy from Seokjin Y/N had gotten used to eating on her bed. “Today I went to the coffee shop I told you about and drew this old woman who was talking loudly on the phone with her speakers on full volume. One of the waiters had to ask her three times to lower her voice before she finally heard him.” Y/N giggled remembering the scene. “It was quite entertaining.”

Hoseok smiled over the phone. “You used to do that a lot in college.”

“What?”

“You spent a lot of time drawing in my workplace, remember?” he explained. ‘Why did you stop?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugged, reaching a hand to her nightstand to grab her sketchbook. “I guess I lost the inspiration.” She ansered going through the dozen of portrait she had done over the past few weeks. She was getting better, her drawings getting more and more realistic.

“I’m happy you found it again.”

Y/N smiled. “Me too.”

“Have you signed the contract for the apartment?” Hoseok changed the subject, his voice muffled because he was eating as well.

“This morning. You’re going to love it. The windows overlook the park and the living room is so spacious that you can do tumbles in it.” she told him enthusiastically. “I’d move tomorrow if i could.”

“When is the tenant leaving again?”

“First week of July.” Y/N huffed annoyed. “Just in time before I start work.”

“I can’t wait to get there next month.” he confessed. “I miss you so much.”

She sighed falling back on the mattress. “Me too. Can you believe its been a month since we last saw each other?”

“Yeah. I’ve felt every single day of it.”

“Tell me about it.” Y/N looked up at the ceiling, suddenly feeling her chest constraint. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Are you going to cry?” he teased her.

“I might.” she grunted. “And you know I hate crying.”

“I know.” he said, Y/N could hear the smile on his voice. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know. Something exciting happened to you this days?” she asked sitting up again to grab another slice of pizza.

“Not much really. I feel like all I’ve been doing is work, work, work and work.” Hoseok groaned. “You’re the one who’s having all the fun.”

“What do you mean?”

“Aren’t you hanging out with the guys a lot these days?”

Y/N giggled. “Oh. Yeah. It’s actually been very nice seeing them again.” she admitted. “They’re so much fun to be with.”

“I remember. You guys used to be the talk of the school back then.” Hoseok recalled amused. “You were like the Avengers.”

“What are you talking about?” she laughed at the analogy.

“Think about it.” he chuckled as well. “The valedictorian, the quarterback, the cold one, the heartthrob, the party guy, the philosopher and the botanist. Am I missing someone?”

Y/N cackled. “I don’t think so.”

“You guys were the most incoherent crew on campus. You were like a social experiment.”

“I guess we were, weren’t we?” she joked back. They really were a variegated group of people. “Why is it that you never joined us? We used to hang a lot at the coffee shop and its not like we weren’t friends.” she pondered.

“We were amicable.” he corrected her. “You guys were like exclusive.”

“No we weren’t.” she snorted almost offended. “We were very friendly.”

“You were, but you gave off this type of vibe ... you used to walk around campus like you were untouchable.” he recalled.

Y/N furrowed her browse pensively. “We did?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t until Jungkook started working at the coffee shop that I started seeing you guys from another perspective. Before that you were pretty much Hollywood superstars.”

“You make us sound so obnoxious.” she said in a pout.

“You weren’t.” he reassured her smiling. “You were just on another level of the social pyramid.”

“I’m not sure I like that image.” Y/N confessed. “I never cared for such things and neither the others for what I remember. Taehyung, for example, was friends with everyone during college.”

“Taehyung was friendly to everyone during college, there’s a difference.” he corrected her once again. “Listen, I didn’t want to offend you, everyone had their crew back in college. If anything I’m saying that we common people admired you a lot.”

“No, I get it.” she pouted again. “It’s just the first time I’m hearing about it. I guess we did have a special connection between us. We still do actually. You’ll see when you get here. I’ll give you a special pass to enter our exclusive club.” she joked.

“I’d like that.” he smiled.

“Besides you have an advantage, you were already friends with Jungkook back then. You guys can hang out together again.”

There was a pause on the other side of the phone call. “Yeah. I guess I’d like that too.”

“So you guys are hanging out again?”, Seokjin asked his sister over breakfast dinner. Y/N had just told him about how they were all planning on having a Mexican dinner in Yoongi and Jungkook’s shared apartment the day after tomorrow, and how she wanted to try and bake a Mexican hot chocolate pie to prove them that her skills in the kitchen had improved over the years. Seokjin was aware of the fact that Y/N had met her old friends - and her ex - a couple of times, but it kind of surprised him discovering that they were planning themed dinner dates. “Does Hoseok know about it?”

Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes, playing with her potatoes with the fork. “Of course, he does. Why wouldn’t he?” she asked defensively.

Seokjin shrugged. “Just asking. Jungkook is there too, right?”

“Right.” she sighed annoyingly. “So?”

“So, all I’m saying is that he has every right to be jealous. He’s your ex boyfriend after all.”

“Well, he is not. Besides, he has no reason to be.”

Seokjin arched an eyebrow, doubtful. “Really?”

“Really.” she insisted. “It’s not like I’m going to cheat on him or anything. He knows that.”

“I didn’t say that.” Seokjin huffed.

“You thought about it.” Y/N accused him with her fork. “We’re friends, that’s all.��

“Exes can hardly be friends.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “You are so limited. Of course they can. Besides,” she said with her mouth full of potatoes. “It wasn’t that big of a love story. We were together for like ... what? Three months? Four? It was more like a spring fling or whatever.” she continued dismissively putting her empty plate in the sink.

Seokjin watched her washing the dishes with a furrowed brow, not entirely convinced. It was true, their relationship was brief, but he clearly remembered how it was and a part of him knew that the two of them could have been great together. It was unfortunate that they didn’t gave their relationship time to evolve. Seokjin liked Hoseok, he treated his sister like a princess, just as she deserved, and was overall a great guy. Still, if he had to chose between him and Jungkook, he would choose the latter. There was no specific reason why, really. It was not like Y/N was better with him than with the other or anything. He just liked Jungkook more, even after all that had happened years ago. Maybe it was the fact that he was good at Call of Duty.

Seven o’clock was the perfect hour to go for a run, it wasn’t too early and it wasn’t too late, the park wasn’t yet packed but it wasn’t empty either. Y/N had started jogging every other day aiming to build up her stamina in sight of the long shifts that awaited her on July. With her earphones blasting hype music she would run the trails a couple of times before walking to her new favorite coffee shop to cool down and there, just like she used to when she was in college, she would order an ice americano grande with two extra shots and only one chocolate muffin - when she was younger she used to be able to eat three of them in one go.

“I think I’m having a deja-vu.” said a male voice, too close to her ear making her jump in surprise. She took one earphone off and turned to her left.

It was Jungkook.

It was obvious that he had been running too, his damped with sweat hair framing his pretty face. He was out of breath, his chest rising up and down while he fanned himself with his white t-shirt.

“You should stop listening to music at such a high volume.” he chastised her with a lopsided grin.

“And you should stop coming behind people when they’re clearly distracted.” she replied crossing her arms. “One of this days someone might punch you in the face as a defense mechanism.”

“Sorry.” he giggled. They started walking again, side by side. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

“So you still love running, huh?” Y/N observed looking up at him. Now that he was wearing only a short sleeved t-shirt she could clearly see just how much muscular he had gotten over the years. Not that he had a small frame before, but he was on the buff side now, nothing too much, just enough to make her heart skip a bit.

“I could say the same thing to you.”

“I actually just started again.” she confessed. “I had to stop during Med School. Too tired, you know? I’m a little bit out of shape, in fact.”

Jungkook stopped on his tracks, arching his brow teasingly. Y/N followed him suit, confused. “So your saying,” he said with clear mischief in his eyes. “That if I race you to the coffee shop down the street you would actually lose?”

Y/N opened her mouth in bewilderment. She immediately understood what he was referring too because they used to do this a lot back in college. Always competitive, the two of them would race each other back to their favorite cafe’ and since he was a quarterback back then and she was a former sprinter, the challenge had always been fun.

She was never going to admit it out loud, but he was probably right: she would surely lose this time. Yet she was proud and she didn’t want to give in too easily.

She turned her back at him, ready to run. “The loser pays for breakfast.”

Of course, the loser turned out to be her. Those couple of hundred meters never felt so long. Her lungs were burning, her face was heating up and she could literally feel her legs wobble.

“Shit.” she cursed with her hands on her knees.

“You ok?” Jungkook grinned, catching his breath as well. “Do I need to reanimate you?”

“Fuck you.” was all she could say with her throat burning for air.

The man laughed before straightening up. He put an arm around her shoulders to sustain her and started walking towards the glass doors of the shop. “Come on, breakfast is on me.”

“Just give me a couple of weeks and we can talk again.” she promised. “I really need to freshen up, I feel like burning.” she then added pushing her hair away from her face.

“Go on. I’ll take your order.”

“An ice americano grande with two extra shots and a chocolate muffin.”

Jungkook stared at her for a moment, something clearly going on through his mind. He smiled sweetly. “You’re still the same.”

“You remember?” she asked half surprised.

“Of course I do.” he replied tilting his head to the side. “Don’t you remember mine?”

Y/N smiled back. “Of course I do.” she mimicked him. “It was the same as mine.”

They looked at each other with fondness, lost in the old memories.

“Go freshen up.” he finally said. “I’ll look for a table near the window.”

“Those are my favorite seats.” she replied.

“I know.” he grinned walking backwards towards the counter. “As I said, you’re still the same.”

Once inside the bathroom Y/N had to lean on the door for a second. Her heart was beating fast and she could feel her cheeks burning. It wasn’t because of the exertion of the race but for another reason entirely. A reason she was too afraid to explore.

“So are you ready to start our residency?” Jungkook asked taking a big bite from his third muffin.

“God, I can’t wait. I’ve been ready since I was fourteen.” Y/N admitted.

It had taken her more than a couple of minutes to calm down after their brief exchange. Her brother’s words rang annoyingly through her ears. She didn’t want to dwell on what she had felt and decided that ignoring everything altogether was the easiest thing to do. So she went to the sink and splashed her face with cold water at least ten times, trying to clear her mind.

Once she exited the bathroom, her heart rate finally normal and her skin color of a natural pink, she had no difficulty in spotting Jungkook. He had chosen the table next the biggest window and was sipping on his drink while watching those who passed by on the sidewalk.

He smiled at her when she sat down and pushed towards her two plates of chocolate muffins saying that he knew that she had asked for only one but he thought that she needed the extra energy.

“So when did you fell in love with trauma surgery?”

“I’m not as focused as you are.” he teased. “But really, no big story behind it. I just realized while studying that maybe I didn’t have it in me to treat sick kids.”

“But you do for broken limbs and car crash victims?” she questioned amused.

“Don’t forget gunshot and stab wounds.” he replied enthusiastically.

“Yeah, let’s not forget those.” she rolled her eyes at the ceiling.

She felt comfortable speaking with him, as if they never went their separate ways. She wondered if it was normal.

“How’s your brother?” Jungkook asked pulling her away from her thoughts.

“Seokjin? His fine, always annoying. He is definitely too happy about us working in the same building.”

“Right. I forgot he was a nurse there. Does he remember me?”

Y/N arched a brow. “Why wouldn’t he? You used to play games all the time. In fact, I think he would be happy to see you.”

“Yeah?” he exclaimed cheerily. Then he suddenly became serious. “He gives good punches.”

“What How would you know that?”

“Because he gave me one that same day you broke up with me.” he recalled. “Just a few minutes after you left, actually. Yoongi just let him in my room while I was crying my eyes out. Didn’t really see it coming, really, he just went full swing at my face and left without a single word. Jimin screamed like a girl.”

Y/N felt her mouth fall. Seokjin never mentioned anything like this happening. He was never one for violence, truth be told she rarely saw him angry at all. Discovering that he went full knight in shining armor caught her by complete surprise.

Imagining the scene Y/N couldn’t help but throw her head back in laughter amusing Jungkook who couldn’t contain a smile either. “I didn’t know I had an overprotective brother.”

“He was kinda cool.” he admitted taking another bite from his muffin.

It was nice talking about the past like this, without embarrassment. Y/N was thankful that they had cleared things up. “I’m glad we’re friends again.” she confessed with a soft smile.

“Me too.” he replied in a low voice.

The next time Y/N and Jungkook meet is to celebrate Yoongi’s promotion to Clinical Project Manager for the medical research institute he worked for. He had planned a Korean dinner night complete with a portable stove grill for the barbeque and expensive soju and Korean beer. Having these themed dinners had become customary. Every Monday one of them would propose a cuisine on their group chat and the following Saturday they would meet at Yoongi’s apartment who usually did all the cooking. Until they had tried Italian, Mexican and Japanese.

As the night progressed the seven of them began getting tipsier and tipsier, enjoying the alcohol the eldest bought a little bit too much for the late hour. Y/N, who was a quiet drunk and was worried about the neighbors, had tried more than once to make them lower their voices. It was useless. As Jimin and Taehyung started a karaoke competition, Y/N felt the sudden need of a little bit of silence. Wobbling on her feet she pushed herself through the living room and through the corridor until she met a white door head first. She opened it and found herself in a moon lit bedroom. She looked around, her vision a little bit blurry. A queen sized bed was sitting in the middle of the room, the white sheets perfectly folded. At the head of it hang a big wooden frame, the content of it hinting the owner of the chamber. It was Jungkook’s varsity jersey, the very one with which he had won four championships in a row, three of them as captain of the team. On either side of the shirt a very large number of medals were hanging by their colorful ribbons. Y/N couldn’t help but sneer, she had only see a wall of his room and it was already evident how much Jungkook liked to brag.

“Hey, you ok?” a voice came behind her making her jump. Unsteady on her feet she almost fell however Jungkook’s big hand grabbed her by the elbow just in time to keep her straight.

“Gosh, you have to stop doing that.”

“Sorry.” he giggled half drunk as well. “I saw you hitting your head on the door.”

“Mmmh.” Y/N mumbled incoherently as she sat down on the edge of his bed. “I’m not exactly sober at the moment.”

“I can see that.” he replied joining her. He lied on his back beside her and let out a big yawn.

Y/N looked at him through her clouded eyes. He was wearing a black baggy t-shirt today, one that couldn’t hide his broad chest even if it was clearly twice his size. His matching cargo pants were perfectly hugging his thighs as well. Laying like that, with his eyes now closed and his hair in disarray, Jungkook was the epitome of sexy. Y/N felt herself blushing and diverted her eyes from his figure.

She looked around the rest of the room. There wasn’t much, really. Just a big cupboard, some weights lying on the floor, a small library and an untidy desk. Over the latter were hanging smaller picture frames which subjects Y/N couldn’t decypher because of the dark. Yet one of them caught her attention, even from where she was sitting she could recognize that it didn’t contain a photograph like the others. It was bigger than the rest and occupied much of the space on the wall. She squinted her eyes trying to get a better look but too lazy to stand up. It took her a couple of tries before her drunk mind recognized the image. She felt her mouth fall in shock, her heart skipping a beat simultaneously.

“Is that ...” she gasped. “Is that my portrait?

Jungkook opened an eye at her words before leaning up on his elbows to get a better look at what she was referring to. “Oh, that.” he mumbled. “Yeah.”

The portrait in question was a drawing the boys had commissioned her four years ago, all seven of them were in it and it took her almost a month to finish it before she was completely satisfied with her work. She recalled how the four bouys used to joke around on who was supposed to get it, making bets and giving her small treats to get on her good side. Last thing she remembered Taehyung had won the competition just by giving her his signature puppy eyes, she could never say no to that. Jungkook was quite bitter that his position as her boyfriend didn’t win him any points.

Y/N couldn’t believe that he had it hanging on his bedroom floor and she felt herself getting emotional. “Why do you have it?” she whispered staring at him with wide eyes.

Jungkook sat up straighter and scratched his neck, slightly embarrassed. “Taehyung surrendered it to me after - you know, after we broke up. As a consolation price, I guess.” he laughed softly looking at her from the corner of his eyes.

“Why do you still have it?” she whispered again in disbelief.

He shifted his eyes over the portrait pensively. He had it hanging over his desk since the day he had got it. He knew every line and every shadow by heart. “Because its beautiful.” he said matter-of-factly.

“Beautiful?” Y/N repeated looking back at the frame again.

“Yeah.” he nodded in a low voice.

She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol in her system but Y/N felt like there was a hidden meaning behind Jungkook’s words. To her drunken mind, a gift from an ex being beautiful wasn’t enough of an excuse for keeping it for four whole years. Yet she was too tipsy to dwell on it.

“Doesn’t your girlfriend mind?” she asked curiously after a moment of silence.

“Why would she?” he shrugged laying on his back once again.

“Because I’m the one who drew it.”

“So?” he asked nonchalantly closing his eyes and entwining his hands over his stomach.

“So I’m your ex.” it came out more as a question.

Jungkook sighed before opening a single eye again. “Y/N its just a drawing. No need to dwell on it.”

Y/N wasn’t convinced as she looked at him with her brows furrowed. Yet again, she wasn’t sober enough to insist. She laid down beside him, mimicking his position and closing her eyes as well.

“If you say so.”

She felt him nodding through the darkness. Now that she had her eyes shut, she felt all of her other senses amplify. She could hear him breathing, could smell his perfume and could feel his skin just a couple on inches away from hers. She felt goosebumps running trough her arms, her heart beating faster once again. She felt the urge to touch him and clenched her fists to resist it. Trying to calm herself down, Y/N took a few deep furtive breaths keeping her eyes closed tight. But it looked like she wasn’t successful in being sly because she felt Jungkook turning his head towards her. To make things worst, the man rolled on his side and had the brilliant idea of putting a hand over Y/N’s.

“Hey, are you ok?’ he asked worriedly.

His touch ignited a shiver down her spine that caused her to tighten her eyes even more. Her espression might have looked like she was in pain because Jungkook anxiously got up on his elbow to hover over her face.

“Y/N?” he called her.

The woman shook her head fervently, which she regretted immediately since she suddenly felt the whole world spinning. “I think I’m drunk.” she mumbled.

“Ok.” Jungkook replied. “Do you want some water?”

Y/N nodded. “Please.”

“I’ll get it for you. Wait here.”

She felt him get up from the bed and walk towards the door and only when she heard it closing behind him that she released a deep breath, finally opening her eyes to the ceiling.

“What the hell was that?”

It was the first week of June and Y/N had been apart from Hoseok for two months now. To be honest, the long distance relationship wasn’t going as bad as she thought it would be. The first few weeks were brutal, of course, but as time went by she started feeling the weight of his absence less and less, making her feel conflicted about her emotions. She missed him, she loved him, yet she didn’t feel the urge to buy a one way ticket to be with him again. Nothing was stopping her from doing just that, either. She still had a few weeks left before her training and the new apartment wasn’t going to be available until the end of the month, so she really didn’t have a reason to stay there other than keeping her brother company. Nevertheless, she didn’t feel like going anywhere. She was enjoying this long vacation, because come to think of it she never had one before. She discovered that she didn’t mind being alone. Y/N had always been a solitary person, a quality over quantity type of girl, but since she had started dating Hoseok she got used to living life as a pair, and didn’t realize how she missed being alone. She liked this newfound independence and at the same time felt guilty about it.

Plus, Hoseok had gotten very busy over the past month, the music video project draining him of energy and time, causing their phone calls to be sporadic and brief during the day. He was enthusiastic about it, he had hired at least thirty people to dance an intense choreography, ready to show to the world what he was worth. Most of the time it was all he could talk about.

“I never did anything like this.” he was just saying on the other side of the call. Y/N was laying on her bed, playing around with a cat shaped stress ball that Yoongi had gifted her the other day. “It’s huge, really. Everyone’s gonna see this music video and everyone’s gonna see my choreography. Can you believe that?” he continued enthusiastically. “If I do this right ... I don’t wanna jinx it.”

Y/N laughed, smitten by his cuteness. “You’re gonna do great, Hobi.” she really was happy for him, she understood how great of an opportunity this was for his career.

“I really hope so.” he sighed. “Actually, I need to tell you something.” he continued tentatively.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I don’t think I will be able to fly there next week.” Hoseok said in one breath. “The thing is there is so much I have to do. I want everything to be perfect. You know what a perfectionist I and I still have to complete part of the choreography. I also have to train at least another group of dancers, just in case, you know? And the company was talking about doing a b-side music video too. That means I have to choreograph a whole new routine, you know me, I can’t do the same thing twice. And -”

“Hobi.” Y/N interrupted his rumbling. She sat up and crossed her legs pensively. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the news. She was already confused as it was and she was looking forward to him joining her so that she could wash away her doubts. “When do you think you’ll be able to come?” she asked sadly.

“I’m not sure.” he murmured defeated. “Maybe in August.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “In August?!” she gasped. “That’s two months from now!”

“I know.” he grimaced. “They said they planned on recording both videos by the end of July.”

Y/N closed her eyes, running her fingers trough her hair. “How long have you known about this?”

“Y/N ...” he pleaded. “A week.”

“A week.” she repeated slowly. “Why are you only telling me now?”

“Because I know you would be angry.”

“Of course I’m angry!” Y/N raised her voice. “We haven’t seen each other for two months! How do you think I would have reacted?”

“I know, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed defensively.

Silence fell in both ends of the call. Y/N didn’t know what to say. She was angry and sad, but there was also a part of her, a part she was trying hard to suppress, that felt somehow relieved by the news.

“You could always come back home.” Hoseok said tentatively.

“What do you mean?”

“You could come back home.” he repeated. “There’s no reason for you to be there.”

Y/N knew what he meant, she knew he was right, but somehow she stupidly felt offended by his words. “I’m going to work here.” she hissed.

“Not until July.” he responded firmly. “There’s no reason for you to be there now. You could come home. You’ve been doing nothing this past month, you could have come back home weeks ago.”

Y/N didn’t fail to notice his accusing tone. “That’s not my home anymore.” she mumbled before she could stop herself.

Hoseok fell silent for a moment. “I’m supposed to be your home.” he replied matter-of-factly.

Y/N knew that he was hurt by her words and he had every reason to be. “I’m sorry.” was all she could say, biting her lip.

“Yeah.” he sighed.

Their conversation had gone bad so quickly. Y/N couldn’t understand her feelings. She was angry at him for going back on his word, guilty that she didn’t care as she should, regretful of what she had said and ashamed that in a moment like this, for a reason that she didn’t understand, a familiar face kept popping in her head.

Jungkook.

“I’m going to bed.” he announced suddenly bringing her back to reality. “I’ll call you tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok.”

“I love you.” Hoseok breathed slowly.

“I love you too.” she replied, but for the first time in two years she didn’t fully mean it.

Part 2

July - Aug.

Day 1 of the general surgery residency program had finally arrived.

Y/N was beyond thrilled. She had waited her whole life for this moment, her whole family were health workers, her father being an anesthesiologist and both her mother and brother being nurses, she was destined.

That night she could barely sleep, not only for the excitement of the new adventure but also because she wasn’t used too sleeping alone in an empty house anymore. She loved her new apartment over looking the park, but she had rented it for herself and her boyfriend and, now that he had postponed his departure to the end of the summer, it just felt too big without someone to share it with.

The past few weeks had been hard for their relationship, at least on Y/N’s side. She wasn’t sure if Hoseok only pretended not to see it, but she was feeling more and more distant to him. She tried to fight it during their daily phone calls, yet she still recognized that her attitude towards him had changed. She didn’t feel as excited as before when seeing his name on her screen, sometimes even ignoring him for a couple of hours until she could without worrying him. Their conversations were still naturally cheerful because she did care for him and she did enjoy talking to him after all. However she could feel that something had shifted inside her.

It was sad to admit but Y/N had gotten used to his absence. Her days didn’t evolved around him anymore, on the contrary, most of the time he was the last thing she would think of. She felt guilty about it, obviously and had a hard time admitting something that deep down she already knew.

She didn’t speak of it with anyone because doing so would only make things real and she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with it. So she kept everything for herself, trying very hard to ignore her feelings and hoping that it was only a temporary situation caused by the distance between them. After all, Hoseok had nothing wrong. He was still as sweet and caring as ever despite they haven’t seen each other in person for three months now. He never failed to prove to her his love, sometimes even sending her little gifts that would make her smile contently, making her remember why she fell in love with him in the first place.

His last gift had come by the mail just a couple of days before: a brand new stethoscope of a major brand.

“I know you planned on keep using your father’s old stethoscope, for good fortune.” the note attached to the box read. “But I thought it was only right for you to start this new adventure with a pair of your own with the hopes that it will accompany you throughout this whole journey and that it could help you create your own fortune. I’m proud of you and I love you.”

She had called him with tears that night.

Y/N had been struggling about her feelings for Hoseok for weeks, keeping her distracted and absent-minded, but that day, her first day as an intern, she had no space for him in her mind. All she could think of was the adrenaline rushing through her veins, she felt wide awake even if she had slept only a few hours and it was 6 o’clock in the morning.

“Here’s your chocolate.” Jungkook’s voice came from behind her. “Are you sure you don’t want some coffee? It’s hella early.”

They were sitting inside the hospital cafeteria having breakfast together since they still had an hour before their appointment with their resident. The two of them had spent a lot of time together over the past week, going together at the dinner party for the interns and at orientation day. They had decided that since they lived farely close too each other now, and as soon as their shifts allowed it, they would come to work together, Jungkook picking her up with his second hand car. Fortunately enough, they were also assigned to the same resident which meant that they would spend their whole year as interns together.

“No.” she answered to his question. “I’m already agitated as it is. Caffeine is the last thing I need.”

“Good for you.” he replied taking a good sip of his own coffee. “I don’t know if its a defense meccanism or whatever but I feel like I could sleep till tomorrow.”

“You’re still gonna be here tomorrow.” she noted.

“I know.” he sighed. “Can you believe it? This is going to be our life now.”

“Get ready, Dr. Jeon.” Y/N teased him. “I’m going to kick your ass this time as well.”

Jungkook arched a brow at her. “You were only good in college because it was all theory, Dr. Y/L/N.” he bit back. “It’s all practice now. We’re in my field.”

“Bet I’ll be the first of the two of us to hold a scalpel.” she said firmly reaching out a hand.

“Bet I’ll be the first of all the interns to hold a scalpel.” he retracted smugly.

Y/N smirked at his cockiness, already enjoying the challenge. “Deal.” she answered shaking his hand firmly.

Their assigned resident didn’t seem to like the idea of having five interns to take care of. He was surly, angry half of the time and ignored them the rest of it. He didn’t like himself repeating himself twice and explained things only if asked to. On the other hand he demanded for them to answer correctly and promptly to all of his questions, and got annoyed easily if they took to long on doing basic medical procedures.

Y/N and Jungkook’s first 6 hours as interns went like a living hell. The resident had noticed that the former was the first one to answer correctly most of his questions, even the trickiest ones, and instead of praising her for it he taken it upon himself to treat her us badly as possible, even accusing her of little things she didn’t do. Jungkook, always the knight, had made the mistake of defending her, getting on his bad side as well.

By lunchtime, the two of them had spent all of their energy by keeping themselves always on high alert, not only when they were with their resident but also when they were alone. Neither of them could relax, first because their teacher was the reincarnation of the devil and second because it turned out that the hospital was one hell of a scary place. Everything they did felt like it could kill a patient, even simply writing down the vitals of a lady with appendicitis. Y/N had checked at least five times if she what she had in hand was the right chart before writing anything down. She was visibly so anxious that Jungkook didn’t even find it in him to tease her about it.

“This isn’t going as good as I thought it would.” Y/N said playing with the meat on her plate. They were at the cafeteria once again, stopping for the first time since that morning. “He hates me.”

“He hates me too.” Jungkook said. “I think he hates us all.”

“You shouldn’t have defended me.” she reprimanded him with a pout. “You’re making me feel guilty.”

Jungkook sneered. “No way I was staying silent.” he exclaimed waving his fork at her. “He accused you of clamping the thoracic drainage of that man when you didn’t even touch it! He’s a bitch.”

“Guess you’ve met Dr. Park.” a voice sniggered above their heads. Seokjin was carrying his lunch on a tray and was smiling at them with glee.

“You could have told me!” she accused her brother as he sat down at the table with them. “You knew!”

“Of course I knew.” he laughed. “But where was the fun in that.”

“I should have known.” Jungkook grimaced giving him a stern look. “You were too quiet that day and you’re never quiet.”

After the initial awkwardness the two man had recovered their friendship as well, even playing games together again. Even when they were a couple, Y/N found their relationship strange, they had too much syntony despite having a 5 year age gap. For example, Jin didn’t act as comfortable with Hoseok, even if they had known each other for two years. But maybe that was just because they lived far from each other.

“According to my experience,” Seokjin said. “the more he gives you a hard time, the more he respects you.”

“Why is that?” Y/N asked, suddenly curious.

“See it this way. He knows you exist.”

“Thanks. I feel better now.” Jungkook rolled his eyes.

“No, really. Think about it. Has he spoken to any of the other interns?”

Y/N thought about it for a second before shaking her head. “I don’t think so.”

“Because he was too busy screaming at us.” Jungkook pointed out.

“Because he saw you.” Seokjin corrected him.

“How romantic.” the other puffed annoyed.

“He might have a point, though.” Y/N said trying to convince herself that a hellish year wasn’t laying ahead.

“Where are the other interns, anyway?”

Jungkook shrugged. “Hiding away to cry, most probably.”

“He doesn’t like them very much.” Y/N explained to his brother. “Two of them went to Med School with him and our total douchebags.”

“The other one is a daddy’s girl who doesn’t even know how to put a tourniquet on.” the boy added. “Prepare yourself, Y/N. I’m going to glue myself to you.”

“As if you haven’t already.” she smirked. “You were practically my shadow today.”

“Only because you needed someone to defend you against Dr. Park.”

“You’re my knight in shining armor.”

Seokjin groaned. “Please, don’t start flirt in front of my salad.”

Maybe because she was tired or maybe because she had spent the whole day close to him, but that night, alone in her big apartment, Y/N dreamt of making love to Jungkook.

The next phone call she has with Hoseok was painful. It was the morning after her first shift and he was so enthusiastic about hearing how it went while all Y/N could think about was how guilty she felt of dreaming about being with another man. It had happened before, of course, but all with fictional characters or actors she had a crush on, never with real people she actually knew. Let alone her ex boyfriend.

She tried to blame it on the fact that she hadn’t had sex for three months now and that it was only due for her to have a wet dream. Jungkook was the subject of it only because she had been seeing a lot of him lately. Nothing more.

It wasn’t easy to stop thinking about it, the whole thing vivid in her memory. The fact that her subconcious remembered Jungkook’s anatomy in detail didn’t help either. Of course, he had changed over the years, he was more muscular and had those long wavy hair now. Not to mention how good he looked with his scrubs on. Twelve hours of internship and he already had all the female staff at his feet.

Jungkook was sexy as hell. There was no denying it.

But he was also smart and kind and funny. He was the complete package.

And he was taken. Hell, she was taken too. She shouldn’t be thinking about her ex without his shirt on. Especially when on the other side of the phone the most perfect boyfriend was trying hard to get her attention.

“A little bit distracted today?” Hoseok asked with a sigh.

“I’m sorry.” she run a hand through her hair feeling terrible. “Just tired.”

“I get it.” she felt him smiling over the phone. “Do you want me to call you later?”

“Do you mind? I think I’m gonna nap for another hour.”

“Sure. I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” he said sweetly.

“Love you too.”

Now alone again in her room, Y/N felt even worse than before. Not only she felt relieved that he had hung up, but she also wasn’t sure if she meant those last words anymore.

She wanted to go for a run to clear her mind but chances were that she would meet Jungkook, the very one he wanted to avoid. The only thing she could do was lay on her bed, snuggle under the covers and feel like the most terrible person on earth.

When did this started? When did she started feeling this way for Jungkook again? Did she really had feelings for him? Or was it only the fact that Hoseok was far away?

Still it didn’t excuse her for feeling the way she did. If she truly loved him she wouldn’t be thinking of another man even if they lived two continents apart. Right?

So she didn’t love Hoseok anymore? But she did, she could feel it. She cared for him a lot, she still cheered for him, she still liked his attentions. Then what was it? Why wasn’t it enough?

And why Jungkook of all the people? Maybe it was because he saw him everyday, maybe if she didn’t see him as much she wouldn’t have developed this feelings.

But really, what feelings were they anyway? She wasn’t in love with him, of that she was sure of. Hoseok was the one she loved, yes. Hoseok who was perfect. Where would she find another man like him? But yet again, Jungkook was perfect too. She had tested it.

Except for the fact that he had cheated on her. Of course, it was a long time ago and she wasn’t even sure that she could call it cheating. They were barely at the beggining of their relationship back then, their very short relationship.

What was she even thinking of? Leaving Hoseok for him? That was stupid. Why would she trade a perfect love story with the uncertainty of a college flirt with a tragic ending? Besides, Jungkook never showed any interest towards her since she had come back.

Because he has a girlfriend.

He probably loved her to bits too.

Yet ... he never talked about her. Hell, Y/N never even saw her once. Why would he never invite her during their group dates? Not even once. That was strange. Come to think of it, Y/N didn’t even know how she looked like. All she knew about her was that she was a professional dancer like Hoseok. That’s it. She never bothered to ask, truth be told.

Because I don’t care.

Y/N wanted to silence the voice inside her head. She felt like screaming.

She was with someone, for god’s sake. Someone that loved her, that made her feel loved. She didn’t need this.

Maybe it was only a sexual attraction. Right, maybe that was it. It was impossible to not be attracted to Jungkook after all, she was only human.

She was in sex withdrawal and Jungkook happened to be the most fuckable living being that her restless mind could think of.

Sexual attraction. Yes. That explained everything.

She trew the covers over her head, hiding from the world, and started repeating the same phrase all over again, like a mantra.

“I’m in love with Hoseok. I’m in love with Hoseok.”

To celebrate surviving their first week as interns, Y/N and Jungkook had decided to invite their friends to a night out.

Y/N decided to dress up for the occasion: there was no use in denying it anymore, she wanted to attract Jungkook’s attention. So she put on her favorite summer dress, styled her hair and put on some red lipstick. After days of self pity, she had finally surrendered to the idea that, for one reason or another, she was attracted to the man. Physically speaking, of course. Nothing more than that.

What she couldn’t explain was why it never happened before. Never with this intensity, anyways. She had met a lot of men during the past years, undoubtebly handsome men too. Yet not one of them had caused such a reaction from her. What was so special about Jungkook?

Despite still feeling guilty about it, a part of her was now convinced that there was nothing wrong with feeling a little attracted to someone. She was only human, after all. She wasn’t a saint. Therefore what was the harm in having a little fun?

Ever the competitive one, Y/N wanted to test Jungkook. She couldn’t believe that she was the only one feeling this connection. She wanted to provoke a reaction from him, nothing major, just enough to not make her feel alone in her misery. It was stupid, she was aware of it, and morally wrong.

It’s not like I want to have sex with him, she thought wearing her black leather jacket and grabbing her keys.

Well, she did want to. But she wasn’t actually going to do it.

She respected Hoseok, loved him. Cheating was not part of her plans.

The walk to the pub was a quick one since it was only a few blocks away from her apartment. She was the last one to arrived, which she sort of planned on happening: she wanted to make an entrance. She had imagine the scene in her head while she was taking a shower.

Her friends would be waiting for her outside the bar and she would walk confidently towards them. Jungkook would be standing there looking all handsome and breathtaking, he would look up - at 0.5x speed - only to see her looking all gorgeous and sexy as well. His jaw would drop, his heart would skip a bit. They would look into each others eyes intensely, exchanging a silent message between them. And then ...

And then that was it. That was how far she let her imagination go.

To some extent, what she pictured did come true. Jungkook was all handsome and breathtaking, she was all gorgeous and sexy, but there was no jaw dropping and no silent message. On the contrary the man averted his gaze almost immediately upon seeing her.

“Hey, sexy.” Jimin teased her, putting an arm around her shoulder. “Did it hurt?”

Y/N frowned at him. “When I fell from heaven?” she pretended to vomit. “Does that even work?”

The man laughed, squeezing her affectionately against his body. “Guess not. Not that I never needed pickup lines to get the ladies to fall in love with me.” he winked at her.

Y/N rolled her eyes before greeting the others. Jungkook smiled tightly at her. She returned, a little bit confused.

For the first part of the evening, the boy acted awfully strange towards Y/N, in such a way that was impossible for her to ignore it. He would avoid her eyes at all cost, even avoid her touch - which was nearly impossible since they were sitting next to each other in a too small booth for the seven of them. Y/N was unable to relax feeling him so tense and found herself pulling away from his body as well, to the point that she was practically glued to Ashley’s arm. To ease her nerves a little she started drinking her cocktail way too quickly, ignorant of the fact that Jungkook was unknowingly matching her pace.

It took them a first round of shots to be finally able to loosen up. Laughing hard to one of Jimin’s stupid jokes she found herself leaning her head against Jungkook’s bicep, and before she knew it she felt his hand over her naked thigh, just a few inches above her knee. He didn’t seem to have done it on purpose since he had his head thrown back in laughter as well. Nevertheless, Y/N had to try hard to act as normally as possible and pretend like feeling the heat of his skin on hers was nothing to make a fuss about.

Jungkook didn’t remove his hand from its place even after the conversation had shifted. On the contrary, he started drawing little circles on her inner thigh, slow and featherlike. Y/N’s heart hadn’t stopped hammering for minutes now, every nerve in her body electrified by his touch. This skinship was something she did not expect, it caught her completely off guard. As far as she knew, Jungkook had never proven any interest towards her, beside those of friendship.

She tried reliving the moments they had spent together over the past few months. Did she miss something? She didn’t, did she? This was the first time he acted like this. Was it because of the alcohol? They had been drunk together before and nothing had happened. Was it the dress then? But he had seen her in shorts multiple times.

She was still in the middle of the umpteenth internal battle when Jungkook suddenly took his hand off her. Y/N’s eyes looked up at him instinctively. He too was looking at her, slightly smiling. She tried to read the meaning behind it. What kind of smile was that? Was he angry that she didn’t reciprocate his touch? Or happy that she didn’t push him away?

Then Taehyung called Jungkook’s name and he had to divert his eyes from her to listen to what he was saying.

Looking at his profile, Y/N thought hard on what to do next. She missed his touch already, she wanted more. Should she put a hand on his jean-clothed thigh too? Maybe she could lean her arm against his, trying to act as naturally as possible. She didn’t want the others to catch up to her inner turmoil.

And then she noticed his hand, the same one that was on her skin just a few moments ago. It was laying between them on the wooden bench, his long fingers holding its edge. She stared at it for a minute. Did he left it there intentionally? She didn’t care.

She looked up, pretending to listen to whatever conversation the other’s were having, and grabbed a few chips for good measure. Then, as carefully as possible, she put her hand next to his, their pinkies brushing against each other. Just that movement and heart went stammering again, she couldn’t here a word the others were saying, her eyes unfocused. She could feel the electricity running between them and wondered if Jungkook was feeling it too.

She took a deep breath trough her nose, smiling to Namjoon who seemed to be speaking to her, and put her finger across his. Just a finger. With her lip beneath her teeth she waited, counting to three inside her head. If he moved away she could still pretend she didn’t do it on purpose, that it was a complete accident. Yet Jungkook didn’t move. He kept his head turned away from her, still listening to Taehyung. With his other hand he grabbed the bottle of his beer and took a large sip from it.

What happened next made Y/N blush. Even if it was such a simple thing, making her feel like a kindergarten kid.

Jungkook carefully freed his pinkie from hers and then, with a sweetness that Y/N didn’t expect, intertwined their last two fingers together.

If it made any sense, this felt better than his whole hand on her thigh. Y/N smiled. She didn’t know what this whole thing meant, yet she didn’t care. She would think about it tomorrow.

They stayed in that position for the rest of the evening, playing with each other’s digits and caressing each other’s skin. Neither of them moved their hands from under the table, both enjoying the secrecy.

Y/N believed they did a good job in hiding it too. But it turned out she was wrong.

At the end of the night, when the time to go home came, the group hug each other goodnight. It was then that Y/N realized that the moment to finally face the reality had come.

As Ashley hugged her close she heard her whispering in her ear. “You. Me. Breakfast tomorrow. You have some explaining to do.”

Y/N dreaded this moment. One thing was to fantasize on her own, having her best friend looking at her with inquisitive eyes was another matter altogether.

Ashley showed herself at her doorstep early in the morning, true to her threath. She had brought with her breakfast and a very intimidating stare that made Y/N quiver.

“Are you cheating on Hoseok?” she had said once they were both sitted at the kitchen table. Her straightforwardness almost made Y/N choke on her coffee. “Not here to judge, of course.” she added.

“I’m not!” Y/N exclaimed defensively. “I’m not cheating on Hoseok.”

The other girl arched an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Then what was going on between you and Jungkook yesterday?”

“You saw that?” Y/N grimaced.

“Of course, I saw that.” Ashley laughed. “Taehyung did too.”

Y/N felt her eyes widen. “Taehyung?!”

“I think you didn’t noticed,” her friend teased her. “But we were literally glued to eachother inside that booth. If I could see you getting sneaky under the table, he could too. He was sitting next to Jungkook after all.”

Y/N moaned in pain, putting her hands over her face. “Are you sure he saw it too?”

“Positive.” she nodded. “We caught each others eyes.”

“Great. Now it will only be a matter of days before he tells Jimin and we all know how much Jimin likes to gossip, he’ll tell Yoongi for sure.” she cried. “Please tell me you didn’t tell Namjoon.”

“Y/N ...” Ashley said tentatively. “We’ve actually known for weeks. We have a group chat.”

Y/N blinked a couple of times, she wasn’t sure she heard her right. “You have a what?”

“A group chat.” the other repeated as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “Seokjin is in it too.”

“Seokjin what?!” she exclaimed flabbergasted.

Ashley nodded, entertained by her friend’s reaction. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but we are actually taking bets. We’ve done it back in college too, come to think of it.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Y/N put her hands forward. “This is way too much information. You’re betting on what exactly?”

“On whether you leave each other’s partners by the end of the summer.” she shrugged. “Yoongi is convinced you won’t be able to resist, too much sexual tension. I disagree, I know you better than he does. You’re not the type of person to go break someone’s trust.”

“Thank you, I guess.” Y/N felt her head spinning. “Is this why you asked me whether I cheated on Hoseok or not? Because you made a bet on it?”

“Are you mad?” Ashley asked.

Y/N thought about it for a moment, before releasing a long breath. “I think I’m supposed to be. The truth is that my emotions have been all over the place this past month.”

“You want to talk about it? Jokes aside, I’m really here to help.”

The other smiled at her friend. Perhaps it was best to let it out, after all, instead of keeping it all in. “I can’t explain what I’m feeling, Ash.” Y/N sighed looking up at the ceiling. “It’s totally stupid, I know. Completely foolish. Definitely useless. I’m with the most perfect guy, literally the most perfect guy in the whole world. He’s sweet, smart, funny and attentive. He makes me feel loved, he makes sure I don’t need for anything. He’s the perfect man to build a family and grew old with. I know I love him, I never doubted it, not even once.” she rumbled on. “But when I’m with him ... I feel this thing. It’s like a pull, yes, like there’s a magnet between us. He just does something to me, he messes with my head. And I’ve been trying to fight it but it’s so ... I swear if I wasn’t with someone else I would have already jumped him.” she confessed all of a sudden. She never had said it out loud. “Oh my god, what did I just say? Oh my God.” Y/N gasped hiding her face behind her hands. “This is so stupid. I’m a terrible person. This is our secret, okay? Promise me to not tell Namjoon! Shit, never tell my brother either!”

“Y/N, they already know.” Ashley smiled at her sadly. “We’ve been watching you guys gravitate around each other for a while now.”

The other girl furrowed her brows. “We do?”

Ashley nodded fervently. “You said it yourself, you’re like too magnets. You might not have been conscious about it, but it’s always been there.”

“How can that be?” Y/N questioned. “Yesterday was the first time anything happened between us.”

“What? Holding hands under the table?” Ashley giggled. “That’s nothing compared to the way you look at each other. Haven’t you noticed the way he has to force himself to look away from you sometimes? Or even the way you guys joke around, how you tease each other.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t entirely sure she knew what her friend was talking about. “He looks at me?” she repeated dumbfoundedly.

“He does.” Ashley nodded once more. “A lot actually.”

“How come I’ve never noticed?” she murmured.

“I don’t know. Maybe you guys were too caught up in pretending to be just friends to realize what was really happening. You do it too, you know? Look at him with hearts in your eyes.” she clarified.

“I don’t look at him with hearts in my eyes.” Y/N exclaimed slightly offended.

“Maybe not at first.’ Ashley conceded. “But tell you what, I’m able to exactly tell you when you stopped thinking about him as only your friend.”

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. “Please enlighten me because I still have to figure that out myself.”

“Last May you run into him one morning while jogging, remember? I do because you spent a whole hour talking about it on the phone.”

“I did not!” she cried out.

“Yes, you did!” Ashley exclaimed pointing a finger at her. “You called me saying you wanted to catch up but the truth is you needed to talk to someone about your feelings for him. Even if you weren’t aware of it yet. You were all ‘Jungkook is so this’, ‘Jungkook is so that’, ‘I’m so happy that we’re friends again’ and bla bla bla.” she mimicked her friend. “That’s the moment the things shifted.” she added fervently. “That’s when you stopped being friends.”

Y/N looked at her with wide eyes, trying to process what she had said. She tried remembering that phone call, but she couldn’t. Yes, she remembered calling Ashley as soon as she had gone home, but she couldn’t recall what their conversation had been about. “I - Are you sure I did that?”

“I am.” Ashley nodded. “If its of any consolation, Jungkook did the same with Yoongi. He created the group chat right after.”

“Yoongi created the group chat?” Y/N asked taken by surprise.

The other girl giggled. “I think he might be your number one fan, actually.”

“So what are you guys saying? That we’re in love with each other?” Y/N mumbled after a moment of silence.

“You tell me.” Ashley replied sweetly, understanding her friends struggle.

“I love Hoseok.” Y/N responded automatically.

“But are you in love with him?”

That seemed such a stupid question at first, didn’t she just answer that? But then she spotted the difference. Being in love. Over the past month she had repeated over and over again that she loved Hoseok. Of course she did, she cared for him. But was she still in love with him?

“He’s perfect.” she whispered to herself.

Ashley smiled at her sadly. “This is going to sound so cliche ... He might be perfect, but maybe he is not perfect for you.”

Y/N felt tears prickling the corner of her eyes, her heart slowly coming to terms with the reality. “He’s done so much for me.”

“I know.”

“He’s such a great man.” she cried. “He didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Of course, not.” Ashley replied, taking her friends hand in hers. “But neither did you, Y/N There’s nothing wrong in falling out of love with someone.”

At her words Y/N started sobbing, she had finally stopped denying what deep down she already knew. She was overwhelmed by the pain, she had never felt anything like it. The idea of hurting someone as precious as Hoseok killed her, her heart aching in such a way that it took her breath away. Ashley stood up to hug her friend from behind, feeling her body shake against hers.

“What am I going to do?” she sobbed.

“I think you already know.”

The days after her conversation with Ashley weren’t easy for Y/N. She had spent the rest of the day crying her eyes out, laying on her bed. Her friend had stayed with her until she fell asleep from the exhaustion and left only because she had to go to work. As soon as she was outside the apartment she called her boyfriend and Y/N’s long time best friend, Namjoon, who didn’t think twice before asking Seokjin the spare keys for his sister’s apartment.

He stayed with her for the rest of the afternoon, giving her words of comfort and understanding, cooling her some ramen and making sure that she drank some water. He had never saw his friend like this, not even Jungkook’s break up had had this effect on her. It was probably the fact that she had anger on her side that time, she had a reason to hate him and that had helped her to move on. This time was different, Hoseok didn’t cheat on her, he didn’t lie to her, he didn’t do anything wrong. He had been the perfect partner despite the distance.

Namjoon had no idea what it felt like, discovering that you didn’t love someone anymore, someone with whom you’ve made lifetime plans with, someone you thought would always be by your side. But looking at her best friend, staring far away in the distance with her eyes all red from crying, he hoped he would never have the chance to discover it.

Y/N had to gather all of her courage and energy to be able to go to work the next morning. The last person she wanted to see that moment was Jungkook, a part of her blamed him for everything: if they hadn’t met again, nothing of this would have happened, she would be still happily in love with Hoseok.

Of course, she knew he was only a scapegoat.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten that Jungkook had promised to pick her up every morning to go to work together, so she had to meet him before she was ready.

The ride to the hospital was silent and uncomfortable. The boy had noticed her swollen eyes immediately and thought better than ask her about it. Y/N didn’t even try to pretend that she was fine, she didn’t care if he was curious, if he was worried.

They didn’t speak to each other for the rest of the day, Y/N made sure that she was always as far from him as possible. All she wanted was to stay away from the man with whom she supposedly fell in love with.

That day turned out to be the worst day of her life. With everything that was going on inside her head, she was too distracted. She wasn’t able to answer to half of Dr. Park’s questions, had to rewrite some of the charts and lost herself on the fourth floor. To make things worst, Y/N had to lead her first code blue, the patient didn’t make it and she had to question her actions for the rest of the shift, wondering if she could have done something more.

The rest of the week didn’t turn out to be any better. She kept avoiding Jungkook who had now gone from worried for her to angry with her. He had tried to start a conversation, trying to understand why was she so mad at him because, really, he had no clue.

Jungkook wasn’t the only one she was treating with the cold shoulder. She had started ignoring Hoseok’s calls too, feeling guilty but not yet ready to do what she knew she had to do. She would send him short messages, making excuses and promising to call him back. She was being coward and she knew it.

Finding the courage to break up with someone wasn’t easy at all. Especially when that someone was Hoseok, the definition of good.

Her feelings for Jungkook had taken a back seat. She wasn’t even sure yet that what she felt for him was actually love. And the thought that she was breaking someone’s heart for something so uncertain pained her even more.

But nevertheless, what mattered was she couldn’t be with someone she didn’t love anymore, because no matter how painful it was, it wasn’t fair to neither of them.

At the end of the third week of July, eight days after Y/N had started acting strange around him, Jungkook had finally had enough.

She was walking towards the intern’s locker room, ready for her night shift, when she felt a hand grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her throughout the corridor.

“Jungkook!” she shouted, recognizing his black hair and broad shoulders. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m kidnapping you.” he answered sternly pushing her inside a small deposit room and closing the door behind him, blocking her only way out. “What the hell is going on?”

Y/N took an instinctive step back, looking away from him. “Nothing’s going on.”

“Don’t play stupid.” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “We both know that you’re not stupid. You’ve been awfully distracted this week, you haven’t been answering any of our messages on the group chat and ...” he took a deep breath. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I wasn’t avoiding you.” she lied poorly.

“Please. Y/N. Tell me what’s going on.” he pleaded taking a step towards her and reaching out his hand to take hers. . She took another one back, surprising him. The last time she had avoided his touch was four years ago. It was a painful memory for both of them. “Is it ... Is it because of the other night? At the pub?” he murmured hesitantly. “Because if that’s what has been on your mind ... We can forget about it if you want.” he said slowly.

Y/N bit her lip. She wasn’t ready for this conversation yet. “Jungkook ...” she sighed. “It’s not that.” Not entirely, at least, she thought.

“What is it then?” he asked softly. He tried reaching out for her hand again. This time she couldn’t find it in her to deny him.

She had taken his hand a thousand times before when they were together, she always enjoyed how small it looked compared to his, yet this time it felt different.

I think I’m in love with you, she wanted to tell him. But you have Lisa and I have Hoseok. I’m going to break his heart for you.

Y/N closed her eyes, trying to push the tears away and trying to ignore the way Jungkook was looking at her, like he would give his right hand to make her smile again. Was this the look Ashley was talking about? Had he really been looking at her like this? How could she miss it?

“I broke up with Lisa.” Jungkook suddenly confessed making her open her eyes in shock.

“You what ...” she gasped.

He squeezed her hand tighter, a determined yet fearful look on his face. “I broke up with Lisa.” he repeated. “Two weeks ago. I haven’t told anyone.”

Y/N released a shaky breath. “W-why?”

“Because I didn’t love her anymore.” he said. “I think I never really loved her.”

Y/N’s mind went blank. She looked down on her shoes, she could feel herself trembling. “Why are you telling me this?”

Jungkook took a deep breath, intertwining their fingers together. “You know why.”

Her heart started hammering inside her chest like crazy, her ears ringing.

What was he saying? That he left her for her? Why? Where was this coming from? What was she supposed to do now? Should he tell him that she was thinking about living Hoseok, too? What would that imply? That they should start dating each other again? She wasn’t sure she was ready for that. She had barely come to terms with all of her feelings. This was too much all of a sudden.

“The portrait,” he started saying, his voice trembling. “Your portrait, I’ve kept it because I couldn’t find the courage to throw it away, even after all this years. Y/N ... It might have been easy for you to forget me back then, but it wasn’t for me. It still isn’t.” he confessed. “You weren’t a fling for me. I fell in love with you. Everyday since that morning four years ago, I’ve regretted letting you go. Finding you again, being friends with you again, is the greatest thing that happened to me since then. But it’s not enough for me. Not anymore.”

Y/N felt paralized, she didn’t know what to say. She just looked at him with her mouth half open, his words repeating themselves inside her head.

“Please say something.” Jungkook pleaded once again.

Even in a moment like this Y/N couldn’t help herself but to find him handsome. His brows where furrowed in worry, his big doe eyes shone despite the dim light. Jungkook was beautiful and he had just confessed his feelings for her. Yet she couldn’t speak, as if she didn’t know how.

She watched defiantly as his expression changed with every second passing in silence. She saw the exact moment all the hope left his body but still didn’t anything to stop it.

“Okay.” he murmured in surrender, slowly letting go of her hand. “Okay.”

He turned her back at her, ready to leave. She could have stopped him, he had given her one last chance to, yet she didn’t.

And so he left, leaving her alone inside the deposit room.

It took Y/N three whole days to understand fully what had happened. It took both Ashley’s and Namjoon’s scolding for her to realize that she was about to ruin something beautiful, again. It took Yoongi’s message reading ‘Jungkook told us what happened. Whatever you decide to do, please don’t close us out again. We love you, all three of us.’ for her to decide that enough was enough. It took Seokjin banging like a mad man on her apartment door for her to finally gather the courage to do what she needed to do.

It took Y/N a total of eleven days since her conversation with Ashley to finally break up with Hoseok.

“Hey.” he had responded at the fifth ring.

“Hey.”

They both sighed on each other’s side of the call. A few moments of silence followed as they listened to each other’s breathing.

“Y/N ...” he sighed.

“Yeah?”

“I’m supposed to fly there in two days.”

She closed her eyes, the first tears falling down her cheeks.

“I know.”

A pause. “Do you want me to?”

“I don’t know.” she replied weakly. “Do you?”

“I don’t know.” he repeated. She heard him taking a deep breath. “It’s over, isn’t?”

Y/N bit her tongue, trying to suppress a sob. “You’re perfect, Hoseok.” she cried. “We were perfect together.”

“We were.” he cried as well.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Me too.”

They listened to each other’s cries in silence, feeling the gravity of the moment.

“I never resigned from the dance studio.” Hoseok suddenly confessed with a broken voice. “I never bought the plane ticket.”

Y/N didn’t feel angry as she was supposed to, instead she felt relieved. She smiled through the tears. “That’s your place.”

“It is.” he agreed sadly. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

Another pause. “I love you, but I’m not in love with you anymore.”

Y/N felt her heart squeeze in pain. She put a hand over her chest, trying to ease the pain and started crying even harder. He felt the same.

“I think I’m in love with Jungkook.” she confessed before she could question whether it was right or wrong. Nevertheless she felt a burden lifting from her shoulders once the words came out. She didn’t want anything to be left unsaid between them.

Hoseok sobbed on the other side of the phone. “I’m not going to ask you if something happened between you two ...”

“It didn’t!” she interrupted him immediately, she didn’t want him to think that she had disrespected him and their relationship. “I swear.”

“I’m not going to ask you,” he continued. “Because it wouldn’t change anything.”

This was it. It was over. Nothing they could say would turn back things around.

“I really am sorry, Hoseok.”

“Me too, Y/N.” he said trying to calm down his breathing. “I think I’ve known that it was over for quite some time now, but I’ve been trying to act normal because I thought it was only the distance. I wasn’t brave enough to face the truth.”

Y/N wanted to laugh: the idea that even in a moment like this the two of them had the same thoughts was sadly ironic.

“I really thought you were the one, you know?”

“I thought so too.”

There was another moment of silence in which the both of them calmed themselves listening to the other’s steady breathing, preparing for the final goodbye.

“Do you think we could be friends some day?” Y/N asked sincerely curious.

“Not for some time.” Hoseok smiled.

She nodded in understanding. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.”

“Thank you for being my best supporter.”

“I still am.” she smiled.

“I’ll send you the link to the music video.” he joked.

“I’ll be waiting for it.” she giggled softly.

They lingered another minute in silence, savoring their last moment as a couple.

“Goodbye, Hoseok.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.” he hang up.

Staring at the screen of her phone she felt one last tear falling. She looked at the flower vase that was sitting on her nightstand. Ashley had gifted it to her the day before.

“These are daffodils.” her note had read. “They represent rebirth, new beginnings.”

She smiled.

A week later Y/N woke up in at 3 a.m. in the morning. She had another dream about Jungkook. She had been having a lot of them lately, some of them innocent, some of them not.

After her break up she had decided to give herself some needed time to put the pieces of her life back together. Truth be told, everything happened way to fast.

She told herself that before giving Jungkook an answer she had to be 100% sure that she really wanted to be with him. He deserved that at least.

Jungkook, rightfully so after he had lost all hope to be with Y/N again, had started giving the same treatment she had given him a week prior: he avoided her. Those few times she was able to steal a better look at him, Y/N noticed that he looked paler and had dark circles under her eyes. She couldn’t believe that she never saw his feelings for what they really were, Jungkook had the most expressive eyes she ever saw. And she called herself an intelligent person.

More than once Y/N had to fight the urge to just grab him from the collar of his scrubs and just kiss the hell out of him and put an end to both of their misery. That would serve a lesson as well to those girls who kept flirting with him everywhere he went.

That night, at 3 a.m., had woken up from a very vivid dream. A distant memory. Their first kiss.

It was New Years Eve and Namjoon had dragged her to this beach party because he wanted to see his crush. There, she run into Jungkook. As the people around them started counting down for midnight, he had taken her hand and had run with her over a hill. With the fireworks exploding behind them he had taken her face in his hands and had kissed her. In the most passionate way.

Reliving that moment brought chills to her spine and before she could second guess she jumped out of the bed, put on her running shoes and grabbed her house keys.

She run. She run down the stairs of her building, run around the park until she got to Yoongi and Jungkook’s shared apartment in record time. She took a deep breath and pushed their name on the intercom. Once, twice, three times until Yoongi’s raspy from sleep voice answered.

“Who the hell is it.”

“It’s me, Y/N.” she replied a little out of breath. “Open the door.”

“Y/N?” he exclaimed dumbfounded. “You better have an explaining for this.”

“I do. Please, open the door. I need to talk to Jungkook.”

There was a pause before the door finally opened. She climbed the stairs two at a time. Yoongi was already waiting for her, hair all over the place.

“If you didn’t come here to tell him that you love him I’m going to call the police on you.” he threatened.

Y/N smiled at him widely before jumping into his arms to give him a quick hug. “You can go back to sleep, Yoongi.”

Without waiting for his reply she walked briskly towards Jungkook’s bedroom and opened his door quietly. She knew that he was still asleep, not even a cannon ball could wake him up at this hour.

She tiptoed to his bed and layed beside him under the covers. He was beautiful even in his sleep, with his mouth open and a little bit of snoring. She put an arm around his chest, hugging him and waiting for him to feel her presence. It took him a few seconds.

He turned to his side and put an arm around her body, engulfing her into his own. “Y/N.” he mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Is this a dream?”

She smiled, putting a hand on his cheek. Enough waiting. Enough denying. “It’s not.”

“You’re really here?” he asked with a doubtful and cute pout.

“I am.” she whispered back. She snuggled closer to him.

Jungkook then slowly opened his eyes only to find Y/N’s staring right back at him. His breath hitched. “Y/N.”

“Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“What do you think?’ she smiled caressing the skin under his eye with her thumb. She wanted to kiss away those dark circles.

“I’m not fully awake yet.” he admitted making her laugh.

“Go back to sleep then.”

“You’re staying here?” he asked his eyes already half closed.

“Do you want me to leave?”

He shook his head. “No. Stay right here.” he sighed contentedly as she snuggled closer, their nose grazing one another. “I haven’t slept well for days.”

“I know.” she whispered, her breath fanning over his lips.

“I’m really tired.” he whispered back inching closer.

“I know.” she repeated.

“I might be having hallucinations.”

Y/N sighed, slightly annoyed. “You’re not.”

“So if I kiss you, you’re not gonna disappear?”

“I’m not.”

“Good.” and then his lips were on hers.

It was slow and gentle. They savored each other’s taste, long forgotten but still familiar. They trembled in each other’s arms and breathed the other’s breath. It was just as magical as Y/N’s dream. Just as magical as the first time.

Once they separated she heard Jungkook sigh once again. “Please tell me you left Hoseok.” he pleaded, his voice unsteady.

“I did.” she assured him hiding her face in the curve oh his neck. He smelled like beautiful memories.

Jungkook stayed silent for a minute, hugging her closer to him, if that was even possible. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“I know.” she nodded. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow at breakfast.”

“Ice americano, grande with two extra shots?”

She smiled against his skin. “And a chocolate muffin.”

They listened to each other’s breathing until they started falling asleep once more. Both happier that they’ve ever been over the past month.

“Y/N?” Jungkook suddenly called her.

“Mmmh?” she mumbled half in the arms of Morpheus.

“If this is your way of saying you love me too, it’s a little bit creepy.”

“Shut up.”

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