#chronic illness ptsd

[irisesinyoureyes]

i used to be really sick for 6 years. now i'm better but everything seems temporary. i don't feel like things will last. i don't know what to do with this extra time/health/life i stumbled upon

[crippledpunks]

my heart goes out to you if you're a disabled person who has a complicated or negative relationship with sleep. if you need to sleep a lot but can't due to life circumstances, or sleeping extra causing other symptoms to flare up. if you can't sleep enough due to pain, or nightmares, or psychosis, or bipolar, or depression. if you sleep way too much and find it hard to stay awake. if you can't fall or stay asleep. if you need medication in order to be able to sleep. if you don't feel rested from sleep. if you wake up a lot in the night. if you have bladder or bowel accidents while asleep. if you twitch or convulse or move too or get injured in your sleep. if you can't control your sleep schedule no matter what. if you can't sleep during "normal" sleeping hours. if you can't sleep for 8+ hours straight but can sleep for shorter amounts of time. if sleep is what you need but for one reason or another you just can't or refuse to do it.

i care about you. your disabilities deserve to be seen and acknowledged

[mothcain]

Nah but let’s talk abt how ppl use disability terms/harmful stereotypes/ derogatory words so casually this disabled pride month (tw ableism below)

The new terms are “sch*zoposting” and “delulu” but shit like this has been around for years and it’s so incredibly frustrating.

Another example is those TikTok POVS about “the weird kid in class” but they are all stereotypes of autistic ppl.

Or the misuse of the word triggered, the misuse of the word OCD, the misuse of gaslighting, of cr*pple, “are you deaf?” “Are you blind?” “Hellen Keller isn’t real.” I could go on and on but I will simply say this.

Disabled people are real people with feelings, emotions and lives. We deserve to use the terms that we need to COMFORTABLY. We deserve to exist without people taking the language used in the context of ourselves and putting it in a negative light.

We deserve to exist.

We deserve happiness.

Check in on your disabled friends.

Don’t assume things about people you don’t know.

[hussyknee]

Forgive yourself for the way you behaved when you were in pain. You didn't mean to drag your loved ones down with you. You were only thrashing and flailing and trying to not to drown. They didn't leave because you were a bad person. They left because they couldn't save you and had to save themselves. It's not an indictment of either your worth or their love. You didn't ask too much, they just couldn't be what you needed and had to make space for someone who could.

In another life, where you had had the help you deserved, where you had had the space to breathe, where something had been different, it wouldn't have happened. Sometimes, it's all just a consequence of circumstances outside of our control. None of you deserved any of this, and you all get to hurt and grieve and be angry that it all fell out this way. But don't be ashamed that the pain got the best of you. You didn't fall short any more than they did. You just became overwhelmed.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it would really benefit people to internalize that mental illnesses are often chronic and not acute. Some of us will never be able to jump the hurdle of managing illness, much less sustaining a sense of normalcy. Many of us will never "recover," will never manage symptoms, will never even come close to appearing normal - and this is for any condition, even the ones labeled as "simple" disorders or "easy-to-manage" disorders.

It isn't a failure if you cannot manage your symptoms. It isn't a moral failure, and you aren't an awful person. You are human. There's only so much you can do before recognizing that you cannot lift the world. Give yourself the space to be ill because, functionally, you are.

[seppukart]

Me: I don't like when evil characters in movies redeem themselves by losing an arm, becoming paralithic or disabled in general. Disabilities are not a punishment: anyone, good, bad or anything in between can have them. They are just like any other trait. Stop treating them any different

Also me, explaining my disability: I'm Cursed

[snurtle]

I've been thinking about the templars lately. they were promised honor, virtue, told that they would be charged with protection of the innocent... And then those same people are systemically exploited and abused, abuse others because they're taught to regard everyone else as either sheep who need to be lead or potential threats. Never equals, except in their brothers/sisters-in-arms. They act as the guard-dogs and military arm of an entirely different organization that they're only a functionary member of but have no governing say in. Even the chantry aren't their equals- they function as the templar order's supervisors! And all this isolation and closing of ranks ends in disability, addiction, death, and abandonment by the system they spent their bodies in service of.

To top that off, retaliations against them just confirm the paranoia they were taught to embrace. It's probably a long hard road to get out of that hole.

Like, listen. the dichotomy of mage vs templars is a satisfying and easy one, but the system is tearing them apart too. have you ever heard of a retired templar?

at the end of it, mages and templars need to unite against the real threat. the chantry.

[genderqueerdykes]

had an appointment with the disability determination evaluator- it got cancelled because I had missed the previous one while I was homeless and without a way to receive mail reliably. they didn't tell me, or my lawyer about that... i ended up going out there for no reason, they would not even attempt to see me despite the fact that i was present, and that i was not going to miss this one just because I could not give them an address to mail paperwork to.

disability in the US is a very long and arduous process. be patient with people who are applying. it's been 2 years for me now. we're almost done we just have to reschedule because they didn't tell us they didn't feel confident accepting that appointment due to previous missed appointments but instead i wasted my time going across town to ... not get evaluated. they didn't even help me reschedule. i asked if they could and they told me to call the number i had called to schedule. what number that is, i don't know, my lawyer did that, not me...

it's all a mess. for the longest time i thought they just dropped my case altogether. it's exhausting. be patient with disabled people who are in the process of applying for benefits- we want it to go by faster, too.

[imtheecrybaby27]

Yallllllllll

Its convention season and I’m STRUGGLING

So I’m in the process of getting disability and I had to quit my job because my chronic pain just couldn’t handle the type of work even though I loved it; my spine said “no”

Anyway, my beanies are my biggest seller at conventions but I currently do not have the money to restock.

I have like ten left of this design:

And I think if I sell out I can afford to restock all 4 of my designs

Here’s a few more of my popular designs that I know my girls, gays, theys, and disabled people will love.

I really need some support here because I love my art and the community I’ve built around it. So if you can’t afford to shop that’s okay. I’d really appreciate a reblog and I’d love to shitpost with you in my discord server.

[neuroticboyfriend]

just wanna thank the universe for tonight's sobriety. i feel like a person again. i'm a person with trauma, psychosis, depression, anxiety, chronic pain & fatigue... but i'm still a person. i'm still a person and i don't need to drink and drug away my life, my soul. whether i relapse again or not doesn't change that.

my future self could try all they want to erase my humanity, in a desperate attempt to see my ego as the sole cumulation of all i am... but that will always be wrong. that will always be sickly, deadly, and unnecessary suffering. that will always be far less than i deserve.

i am sober tonight. i hope i'm sober a minute from now, an hour from now, a day from now. i hope i feel that way every day i have left on this earth, however many or little that is. i'm a person. a whole world exists inside me and for tonight, in this moment, that world gets to simply be. exactly as it exists right now, pain and hardship and all.

and it's beautiful. hold on, pain ends. h.o.p.e. i love you all.

[rigormortisangel]

once they cure my psychosis, mood swings, chronic PTSD, paranoia, personality disorders, alters, anorexia, orthopedic condition, autoimmune disorders, VCD, chronic pain, and chronic nausea it is OVER for you bitches

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony was disabled and suffered from chronic pain

Tony may not have looked like a disabled person, but not all disabled people need wheelchairs, canes, or hearing aids. Some simply live in constant pain, cannot breathe properly, cannot sleep due to nightmares, or may die without medication or a medical device. All this applies to him.

Tony has suffered from many conditions, many physical and mental traumas. I will describe the most important here (in chronological order), but some things like broken bones, cuts, bruises, etc. happened to him regularly and their impact on his health is unknown.

Blast injuries

You can find details here.

This type of injury has happened to Tony many times, as explosions are not uncommon for superheroes. In his case (he's not an enhanced Homo sapiens, we remember that, right?) they were more harmful than for many others, like Thor, Hulk or Steve.

We can't say exactly how these injuries affected his health, but they couldn't disappear without a trace. What he could have been left with: damaged hearing, vision, brain damage, respiratory system and blood vessels and heart damage, damage to muscles, liver, spleen and intestines.

Shrapnel

And here comes chronic pain, and our first case of overt disability - shrapnel in Tony's chest and most likely right in the heart. Some shrapnel may have remained in other parts of his body, such as his arms and legs, but this was not mentioned in the movies.

Shrapnel can cause harm in two ways:

mechanical (cuts tissue - leads to scarring, puts pressure on nerves and blood vessels, causing pain and ischemia - reduces blood and oxygen flow to parts of the body);

chemical (metal ions can be released from the fragments and travel through the bloodstream, affecting other parts of the body). Many forms of shrapnel contain uranium, which is highly toxic and can lead to health problems, including kidney damage, liver cancer, and bone cancer. It may also cause high blood pressure, autoimmune disorders, and loss of reproductive function.

Other complications may include infections and chronic inflammation around the fragments.

In Tony's case, he received at least three unpleasant gifts from the shrapnel: chronic pain, heart damage, and the constant possibility of death if the medical device that literally keeps him alive stops working or is taken away from him.

So yes, guys, shrapnel is already enough to consider him disabled. But this is just the beginning of the list.

Arrhythmia

Here is a post entirely dedicated to Tony and his arrhythmia.

To summarize: Tony had a severe arrhythmia (most likely Sick Sinus Syndrome) that required a pacemaker and an ICD (implantable cardioverter defibrillator) powered by an arc reactor. Possible causes of this condition include the blast injury, electric damage from water torture with an electromagnet in chest, and heart damage.

This is the second case of disability and constant mortal danger for Tony - just like with the shrapnel, without the pacemaker he would have died, and even sooner than without the electromagnet that stops the shrapnel. And let's not forget the risk of sudden death associated with arrhythmias.

What Tony could experience on a daily basis due to his arrhythmia: exercise intolerance (he stopped running and surfing after Afghanistan), exhaustion, shortness of breath, chest pain, fainting (among all the Avengers, Tony lost consciousness most often), lightheadedness or dizziness, heart palpitations. Arrhythmia is a thing that usually gets worse over years.

Reactor

Hard stuff. Here you can see why.

The damage done to Tony's body in order to implant the reactor was enormous. With all things considered, it is not necessarily a deadly trauma, but certainly a debilitating one.

This case is the third obvious disability and the main source of chronic pain that Tony suffered from 2008 to 2014.

What he definitely experienced every minute of those years: pain, exhaustion and depression due to this, discomfort and pressure in the chest, difficulty breathing (for which his suits contained supplemental oxygen), limited upper body mobility and decreased muscle strength, sensitivity to ambient temperature (the metal would conduct the temperature of the environment and could become too hot or too cold. That's why he would prefer to stay in California until his surgery at the end of IM3 and not move to New York yet - because of the cold winters).

Potential complications that required Tony to constantly monitor his health included: collapsed lung, asthma, chest infections, chest trauma, thoracic lymphedema, blood clots.

He would also be prone to respiratory infections, which could easily lead to complications. For example, a common cold would most likely develop into bronchitis and/or pneumonia. That is why it is very dangerous for him to be around sick people.

The device could also pose a real danger if it encounters another strong magnet (no MRI for Tony!).

Tony always had to be on medications to help him breath (oxygen, asthma inhalers when he picks up a virus or his airway gets irritated, nebulizer treatment), antibiotics due to weakened immune system, painkillers as needed, regular beta blockers to reduce risk of arrhythmias and sudden death.

PTSD

In IM3, we were shown Tony suffering from this mental disorder. In CA:CW we also saw him using B.A.R.F. to ease his trauma over the death of his parents. This is one of the factors that makes me think he had complex PTSD since childhood, not just acute PTSD caused by the alien invasion.

The acute PTSD affected his quality of life, depriving him of sleep, causing nightmares, anxiety and panic attacks from 2012 to 2014. Although it couldn't go away just because Tony became a little more confident in himself by the end of the movie. It takes years of treatment to get rid of this condition, and the VA considers it a permanent disability.

Other things that could have long-term effects on his health:

Radiation (cancer, liver failure, infertility, and thickening and scarring of lung, liver, and kidney tissue)

Heavy metal poisoning (palladium is carcinogenic, may damage bone marrow, kidneys and liver)

Repeated concussions (one possible consequence is chronic traumatic encephalopathy, which often begins years or even decades after the last brain injury)

Use of B.A.R.F. (could be the cause of the migraine he experienced at the beginning of CA:CW)

Left arm/shoulder injury

Penetrating trauma (it is unknown whether Carol actually brought Tony the Xorrian elixir to cure him as she promised)

Conclusion: before the attack that changed his life forever, Tony was a healthy, strong man who ran canyons and surfed. Thanks to his health and high exercise tolerance, he was able to survive many serious and even critical injuries. However, he was not an enhanced super soldier, and the injuries that did not kill him left him physically weaker and with disabilities that could not help but affect his well-being. He became immunocompromised, could no longer endure strenuous exercise without his high-tech prosthesis, take a proper deep breath. He also became smaller due to loss of muscle mass (compare IM1 and IM3).

Tony also suffered from chronic pain due to the damage to his chest and the presence of shrapnel.

PTSD gives him another type of disability that affects his mental functions. Unlike the damage from the reactor and shrapnel, this damage was not fully healed in 2014 and remained with him until the end, although the symptoms subsided.

[4spooniesupport]

[chronicallyuniconic]

"You were fine as a child/teen"-Was I though?

I've been told countless times that it's unfathomable, that it doesn't make sense, that I am chronically ill now, because I was "healthy" growing up, I was "active" and "normal."

"you were fine" they say

Frustratingly, they are wrong. I was not "fine" and I masked my symptoms heavily. In a lot of cases I didn't know that what I was going through was abnormal.

I remember the many times a year (every month/every other month) I was ill with cold & flu, tonsillitis, chickenpox, rashes, broken bones, sprains, stomach problems, pain and exhaustion.

I remember the 2 years in my teens where I had chronic knee and leg pain that was blamed on growing pains. It affected me so much my attendance in school dropped to 62% & irritated my mum so much that I failed to continue finding medical care for it and "carried on" as if I was fine.

Growing up, being ill was a burden, almost not allowed. If you were ill, you were an annoyance, a nuisance, forced to get on with it. It irritated the people around you, if you were ill with a n y t h i n g in my childhood home.

I remember throughout my whole childhood that at least one week out of the month, I'd get so exhausted I would come home from school and go straight to sleep until shouted down for dinner and I'd go back to bed.

Many times I remember coming home from school and college absolutely depleted of everything and faceplanting on my bed for 2 to 3 hours.

I remember how much I wanted to be involved in some activities but didn't have the energy and was accused of being lazy, anti social or ungrateful of opportunities.

I remember being hospitalised with chronic stomach pains, they suspected appendicitis, but when they could find nothing I was released home with nothing further done for another 15 years. I was accused of attention seeking or just wanting to skip out school.

I remember being unable to tell anybody how I felt whether it was physical or mental. When I did reach out I was told I'm too soft, I'm being dramatic, I'm just making it all up. When I did say "I'm in pain" I was told its not that bad, I'm not dying and that I "won't get any sympathy" from them.

When I went to University & got freshers flu, I was bed-bound for 9 weeks but told it was depression.

Eventually, I couldn't carry on from all the above. Now I'm bed-bound/housebound for life.

Please, tell me again, that I was "fine"

[my-illness-and-me]

oy americans: please be kind to your friends with PTSD and noise sensitivity the next few days. Fireworks are rough. I've been hiding in my closet, and not in the way you'd think I would be as a gay person.

[genderqueerdykes]

i just had the worst fucking cluster headache of my life, i could not function OR rest for about 3 hours, i was just sitting in various spots of my apartment like this >_< while trying to find the darkest spot i could, alternating between trying to sleep and trying to just sit there.

trying to sleep made it worse, somehow? i eventually was able to in the end but for several hours trying to sleep made the pain throb and stab. i took some seroquel and that was able to help me sleep but i could not open my eyes for the life of me, nor could i keep them shut for too long. my right eye / back of my head just hurt like hell for no reason for 3 hours and at several points i just kinda whined and cried a little because there was not really much i could do drinking water didnt help. i ate food, that didnt help

that sucks ass. if you deal with these too, im sorry. people trivialize headaches all the time, but this one resisted an extra gabapentin, which helps with migraines and headaches, and i was still unable to do anything but deal with what was happening. there are a lot of different types and manifestations of headaches. if someone tells you they're experiencing a bad headache, please let them do what they need in order to get through whatever they're experiencing