#hypomania vent

[graveyard-darlingg]

i’m not sure how much this is talked about, but it’s tiring having to go through depressive episode and hypomanic episode then back to depressive episode and so forth. it’s so tiring.

i finally get used to feeling good and then it ends and i’m empty again. i finally feel like i can do something with my life and i feel ‘normal’ and happy, and then im back to the same pit i was in before. it’s exhausting.

[gazniet]

reblog if you’re an active vent acc (ed, sh, substance abuse) in march 2024 i need mutuals :)

[blownawayy]

why do i have to compare myself to others

[kenobihater]

just saw a fic tagged both as a #fix-it fic (for the noncanon gay pair) and as #widowed character (implying the character's beloved canonical wife died somehow). motherfucker, spousal death is NOT a fix-it! STOP fridging women just bc you find them inconvenient for their husbands' relationship statuses!! give me lavender marriages, infidelity, miscommunication, polycules, or any other form of complex dynamic but for the love of GOD stop killing them off for the combined benefit of avoiding unconventional and/or uncomfortable dynamics and also allowing you to focus on that sweet sweet man pain in your shitty fic. the next person to do this owes every wife on earth $500

[twist3dserenity]

It’s been too long since I’ve been useful to someone, don’t you think?I’m rather useless. I can’t do anything right. I just take up valuable space in this world. And you know what? If I’m going to continue to be worthless, then I should be punished. it is now my job to stop eating, stop drinking, stop sleeping, hurt myself, and isolate myself. Counterintuitive? Yes. But if I really want to be alive, then I’ll start being worth something. If not. Then I’ll just suffer.

that’s just how it is everyone.

[yoursuicidalcupcake]

why do I feel so good all of a sudden and it's the 3rd day!?!? I have no idea if I'm in remission, got healed by some holy power (still bpding but I'm aware of things???). Like, I suddenly know I have a body and that things around me are real, I want to get to know my body (this and crossover with ovulation in few days will be wild), I want to change it and transition, I want to clean my room, I'm euphoric way more often???, I finished my wips and want to draw more, I don't need sleep suddenly too and my brain is so fast now. Also I can get into rabbit hole researches again????

Libe bfrI have no idea what's going on lmaoo

[spaceacerat]

I am realizing why I am having anxiety attacks at things that used to just roll off my back. Turns out, if you're only switching between No Fear hypomania and Constant Fear And Dread depression for years, you don't know how to function when both sides of your mood disorder take a break.

I'm having my first 'regular people' emotional state in a loooong time, like. 12-13 years. Never thought I'd feel like this again.

Anyways, when I spent so long having Constant Anxiety and fear and dread and symptoms from my other disorders that were worsened by the depression, where any new little anxiety just gets added to the pile and is barely noticeable among everything else, I didn't recognize the situation as something that would cause anxiety.

And when I was hypomanic, fear just wasn't a thing, so I didn't see that something might cause it.

But now that I'm at a midline, with my other things rearing their heads less (like intrusive thoughts and stuff), I am once more expressing and feeling the anxiety that I would have as a kid. It's not to the point of stomach cramps because yay anxiety meds, but there's still the overwhelm and fear and stress and wanting to cry.

So. Gotta learn how to live with that I guess? But I've been a hermit for months and summer is getting hotter so, won't be able to leave the house much anyways, but. Yeah. We shall see how it goes lol

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

depressive episode

manic episode

both suck

( yes i made a spelling error )

[darkestmania]

I think that I'm going to be somewhat polemic with what I'm about to say, but I hate being hypomanic.

I hate to see hypomania being romaticized.

I hate the way hypomania destroys my habits, my choices and my life in general.

I hate that people think that being manic/hypomanic is cleaning your room, changing your haircolor or being productive. I'm not productive at all because I can't focus on the things I want. I hyperfocus on random shit.

It's physically exhausting to be hypomanic. My body can never be at the same pace as my mind. My mind is in Narnia, my body tries to be in my bed.

I hate the way that I have to stay away from people I love because hypomania might hurt them.

Yes, I will get trigger everytime I see someone say they wish to be hypomanic or manic. There is nothing to be romanticized in bipolar disorder.

[dissociation-plus]

weird to think that, only a few weeks ago, i couldn’t even fathom the idea of not being in a depressive episode. yet, here i am, in a normal (ish) state with hypomania just on the horizon. whooptido lol

[actual-howlinglikeaseaturtle]

When your hypomanic episode starts out kinda chill and you're finally getting out of bed and getting things done after months of a depressive episode. And you're like hey this isn't so bad!

Fast forward a week and you're spending money you don't have on shit you don't need, obsessively counting calories and acting like a slut.

[baby-blues-thinks]

I'm pretty sure I've been experiencing hypomanic episodes once in a while but don't think they're extreme enough to count. I'm not in therapy anymore due to financial problems

Anyone has a similar experience?

[thethingything]

for the last couple of days our brain has kind of felt the way it does when we've not had any caffeine and our ADHD gets really bad and we start getting distracted all the time and having racing thoughts and being generally unhinged, except we've been drinking energy drinks so I know it isn't that.

our psychosis definitely started flaring up as well because we've had the usual stress induced hallucinations we get (usually just spiders and little orbs of light. it's whatever) but also really intense paranoia over how people perceive us, but it's combined with the racing thoughts and we keep just rambling and jumping from one thing to another while freaking out about doing exactly that.

so yeah anyway if I talk to anyone and it looks like I'm typing stuff really frantically or it doesn't make sense properly, that's probably why. I just felt like this was worth clarifying in case anyone noticed and wondered what the hell was going on

[obsessedbipolargf]

im fasting and fasting and fasting and drinking water a lot im feeling dizzy tho

not bc i want to be skinnier just bc i feel anxious and with nausea

im tired of my spm and depression but now i have hypomania and i cant sleep well im tired

[hopeless-hypomanic]

When you know nothing is going on. Years of therapy, and you still question them if they love you and start accusing them of cheating You are bored when thinks are going good. You hate the results of causing trauma with the ones you love but you still do it, Self sabotage You honesty hate yourself for it. But for some reason the discussing thought of them cheating is some sadistic turn on. Thoughts of sucide becauses of the pain. You don't do it for the sake of your kids. It never seems to get better. Life is hell trying to maintain every day.

[lucckitty-333]

will it ever end?

will i ever stop wanting to self destruct?