#hypomanic episode
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My bipolar folks who experience mixed episodes, how the fuck do you cope? For months I thought I've just been having a depressive episode, but the reality hit me tonight that I've been experiencing hypomanic symptoms as well, and I now understand why all the shit I usually do for full depressive episodes isn't working.
I recently went up on Caplyta (from 42 to 52.5 mg) and I don't think it's done much. Therapy has been spent talking about the unbridled rage I've been carrying in my throat my entire life. Idk I would love to hear what others have found helpful outside of meds and therapy.
#mixed episode#bipolar disorder#actually bipolar#depressive episode#manic episode#hypomanic episode#lex rambles
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Man, my energy is too high rn. I feel lost about what to do because everything is boring for me. I can't sit still. I can't get focus on one thing. I need to be stimulated. Fuck. I fucking hate hypomania.
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Having bipolar feels like I'm that one badly written character in media who doesn't have one consistant personnality
I'm like equally the brooding emo vampire coded character and the insane narcissistic extraverted rockstar. The character sheets got mixed up or something.
Lowkey jealous of everyone who knows what their core personality is. Traits that are permanent to them and unique to them. Wish I had that
#bipolar#bipolar2#bipolar disorder#self#mental illness#mental health#depression#depressive episode#mania#hypomania#hypomanic episode
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Ain’t nothing like avoiding your therapy sessions so your therapist doesn’t discover you’re manic or off meds again, avoiding their disappointment, avoiding the immediate hospitalization you know would come from that
#don’t do this please#I’m a terrible example of bipolar recovery#that bipolar feeling when#actuallymentallyill#actuallybipolar#actuallyhypomanic#actuallymanic#bipolar 1#bipolar 2#mania#manic episode#actually bipolar#manic#hypomanic episode#hypomanic#hypomania#actually mentally ill#mental heath#mentally ill#mental illness#mentally unstable#mental instability
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little bit of BP2 humor fo today that i had made to cope smh
#i dont usually make mental health related art at all#but i made this in the middle of a recent episode to cope with some silly things#i wasnt going to post it cause i dont like sharing mental health stuff but i figured maybe itd be relatable to some other poor saps#my art#bipolar#bipolar 2#bipolar disorder#hypomania#hypomanic
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idk who needs to hear this but your manic episodes are valid even if you don’t think your actions were “crazy” enough
#mental illness#actually bipolar#bipolor#bipolar 2#bipolar disorder#bipolar 1#manic episodes#manic episodes are so funny#manic pixie dream girl#hypomanic#hypomania
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stealing this game from @tuseranita 🙏❤️
rules: go here and make a poll with your top 10 most listened-to artists (long term!) and let your followers choose:
tagging: @terrainofheartfelt @insistonyourcupofstars @strideofpride (@rachelblairy was already tagged?) @laufire @habibialkaysani @welldressedllama @anewbrainjughead @doyelikehaggis @splatooshy @takaraphoenix @legendsofentity @lexkent @ssmtskw @ak-rye-47 @bisexualdinahlance @nikkiruncks @crossedsabers10s but of course no pressure!
#i perhaps may have over-tagged#but in my defense i am entering a hypomanic episode if the signs are correct#music tag#tag games
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Nevermind the shitty print job and the label not sticking right, but this is what I did with the votive candle I bought from Family Dollar four years ago with the intention of making a "saint candle"
I evicted Jesus from his own portrait for this background. Yes my GIMP skills leave something to be desired.
FYI Avery shipping labels don't work well with laser printers, the toner smears right off. I had to laminate the label in order to preserve it, thus the wrinkling.
#mash#m*a*s*h#francis mulcahy#father mulcahy#father francis mulcahy#crafts#crafting#diy#prayer candle#candles#saint candle#william christopher#this project literally averted a hypomanic episode#but it caused catholic brainrot#it's that scene where the screengrab of him captioned let's take ibuprofen together came from#also i ain't gonna be mad if you use these i lifted the assets from google photos anyway so#i mean i cobbled it all together but i dunno who made the jesus painting that i heavily edited#my crafts
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Drew some kyles to feel something again
#my art#kyle broflovski#south park#sighhh do i tag k2 and everyone else…#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#stan marsh#still dont have a design for him so huzzah im gonna draw him kinda like shinji#fuck bipolar disorder man its so overrrr#I miss my hypomanic episode this is such a fucking draaaaaggggg#wtv Mexican Kyle save me
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I wish people would stop taking bipolar II less seriously than bipolar I
I saw a comment on an Instagram meme about mania making people productive that said "that's hypomania. Actual mania isn't a silly little thing" and it seriously pissed me off because hypomania isn't a silly little thing either and people need to realise saying such things is insensitive, disrespectful and harmful. And this might be a hot take but I don't think bipolar I is worse than bipolar II just like I don't think bipolar II is worse than bipolar I and the comparison makes no sense because they're both fucking hell in their own specific way (which can and does vary from person to person).
It's not the first time I see stuff like that and I do think the "memeification" and "tiktokification" of serious mental health issues led people to believe in the false notion that bipolar II is some sort of "fake bipolar" or easy to live and deal with but it's not and I think we're better than that; just because the Internet says that hypomania is cutting your own bangs in the middle of the night or dying your hair pink while being completely functional and productive in your everyday life doesn't make it true. I wish I could give you some examples of what hypomania is actually like to me but surprise surprise I don't fucking remember, all I got is some flashes of rage and sleepless nights and incoherent racing thoughts and disordered speech and substance abuse and shadow people at the corner of my eyes and being detached from reality while still somewhat being aware of it in a way that doesn't really make sense.
What does this race for who has it worse accomplish? People with bipolar II downplaying their own hypomania and ending up in a psych ward?
Stop engaging in nonsensical wars and stupid ways of thinking.
#to be fair my own personal shade of bipolar is a mess from a diagnostic standpoint#and my hypomania threads the fine line between hypo and manic#and my hypomanic episodes always end up mixed for some reason because I'm a mainly depressive type I guess#but my psychiatrists are aware of that and my official diagnosis is still bipolar II so yeah#bipolar#bipolar disorder#actuallybipolar#actuallymentallyill#my posts
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okay prefacing this with I have survived 3 suicide attempts, I know what it's like to be suicidal
suicide is not the same as guaranteed death from an illness.
when medications are referred to as "life saving" that specifically means that prevent [functionally] guaranteed death. suicide is not a guaranteed death, a medication that reduces suicide rates is not life saving because it is not preventing guaranteed death. suicide, at the end of the day, is a choice. I say that as someone who made that choice (3. fucking. times.- it is a choice. it is not an easy choice either way but it is still an decision that you make.
if I had my access to my biologic taken away? there is not choice there is not decision there is no prevention I die. I just die. end of story. it might take a week it might take a year it might take longer than that but there is no world where I survive severe untreated lupus without medication.
I survived a lot of time periods where I was desperate to die because I chose not to. I got to make a choice. I don't get to make that choice with lupus. people don't get to make that choice with cancer. people don't get to make that choice with diabetes.
not being life saving still doesn't mean it's not important. life saving just has a specific meaning and connotation and preventing suicide is just not that. medications that prevent suicide are very important but it's not the same. I am on medication that prevents me from being suicidal and if I lost access to that medication I might successfully kill myself- but that is a might. I don't get a might when it comes to lupus
#tw suicide#also this is worded poorly because I got 4 hours of sleep#because I'm coming down from a hypomanic episode#because I'm#yknow#bipolar#which people like to forget all the time
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I think that I'm going to be somewhat polemic with what I'm about to say, but I hate being hypomanic.
I hate to see hypomania being romaticized.
I hate the way hypomania destroys my habits, my choices and my life in general.
I hate that people think that being manic/hypomanic is cleaning your room, changing your haircolor or being productive. I'm not productive at all because I can't focus on the things I want. I hyperfocus on random shit.
It's physically exhausting to be hypomanic. My body can never be at the same pace as my mind. My mind is in Narnia, my body tries to be in my bed.
I hate the way that I have to stay away from people I love because hypomania might hurt them.
Yes, I will get trigger everytime I see someone say they wish to be hypomanic or manic. There is nothing to be romanticized in bipolar disorder.
#actually bipolar#bipolar 2#bipolar disorder#mental illness#mental health#vent post#darkestmaniathoughts#mania#hypomanic episode#hypomania
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I feel like I'm losing my mind. Like this has to be a thing right? It's a thing I experience at least. Please please please tell me abt ur experience if u do 🙏
#all the literature i find is like yeah pmdd can be mistaken for bipolar but then they dont talk abt mania or hypomania#so im like ??? wtf is happening?#i mean i wasnt looking that hard but its still weird to me bc i tell my mum i possibly had a hypomanic episode and she instantly was like#hm could b hormones and she was 1000% percent right bc it happens mostly in the days before bleeding starts#so like i cant b the only one out there. and it doesnt happen all the time. and usually its not that extreme#like id say its mostly just elevated mood and it mostly just lasts like 3 days or so. so i dont think it counts as hypomania. but thats wha#ill select bc i had one time that felt so fucking crazy it felt like there was something seriously wrong with me. it was fun tho#before i crashed so hard i had to leave work in the middle of the day bc i couldnt stop crying lol#anyway. im curious#menstruation#pmdd#pms#its always depression this depression that. why the fuck do i wanna run around in circles screaming until i die? riddle me that batman
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To Remember
Hiiiiii so I made a fic for Hualian...ahaha. This was meant to be short but...you'll see if you read it. Also huge shout out to @general-bear for helping me with the mandarin! :DDD
Who has two thumbs and needs a nap? This guuuuyy
#hualian#tgcf#heavens official blessing#yknow i was joking in the gc about being in a hypomanic episode#but im starting to suspect that is true because ive been staying up until 4 every day making this and only this#LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO#ooppofic#ooppofics
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brought to you by me hosting a friend for two days who grew up in the same cultural region, and tbh will not be invited again.
#night two of spontaneously showering for over an hour with no notice just as i indicated i wanted to go to bed...#pls consider. i have to shit lol#i also have meds#i'd honestly make fuckin due if i'd had the indicators to like. idk say oh i need to grab my meds first#but also idk how to put it other than this is one of. so many behaviors that are making me just about reconsider the friendship as a whole#within 2 days#i lowkey wanna cry because this has gone so badly overall#and i feel like i'm in a position where it's both unfair for me to not communicate this distress (because maybe we could work it out)#but also if i do communicate. this individual was having and is now coming out of a hypomanic episode where they kept talking about#self harm related habits and displaying self hatred for the mildest of critiques#and they've never communicated what to do in these situations previously so idk their boundaries and honestly don't trust them to establish#boundaries that they would benefit from because they have a large history of that#so uh. yeah in conclusion i am counting the hours til they leave and i can more easily try to figure out how the fuck to handle this
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why do i have to compare myself to others
#bipolar 2#actually mentally ill#tw depressing thoughts#depressive episode#actually bipolar#bipolar disorder#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd thoughts#bdp#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#borderline blog#borderline problems#borderline thoughts#borderline culture is#hypomania#hypomanic#bdp vent
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