sachermorte

[sachermorte]

Hungarian swords, 14th century, at the Topkapi Palace Museum in Istanbul. The middle sword is 8ft long

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you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

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students asking me if detention in american schools is real. like yes it's real. take my hand. you too can do math worksheets for ninety minutes with all your weird little weeaboo friends in the seventh grade.

and then it was like "why did you go to detention?" and I was like. well you see. I was a rhetorician. I fancied myself as similar to marc antony. I was an artist and a musician. a political philosopher. a satirist.

"what does that mean?" it means I was sarcastic, incorrigible, argumentative, stubborn, created jaunty little tunes about members of staff, and kept drawing on the bathroom walls

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remember when guys would just wear anime girl orgasm face compilation hoodies out in the world i want a where are they now for those people. i do assume most of them have passed away from vape rig complications

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stop buying tat. and by tat i mean cheap / shoddy / tasteless / tacky plastic shite. just stop buying it. listen. i'm all for a deal. but think of planet earth. stop buying plastic planters shaped like glup shitto. no more funko pops. you get the deal. but cringepics, you say. it's a birthday or a holiday season and my friends and family love tacky plastic fandom shit. please get them literally anything else. think of the planet. i live in australia and this country lights itself on fire more often than ever before historically and i'm not going to fry to a fucking crisp because you "needed" a hazbin hotel themed garden gnome. buy local. re-use. think sustainable. everyone wants to eat the rich and no one wants to stop lining their pockets

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"please advise" is the professional email equivalent of "girl help"

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People who call u without warning for non serious reasons are so scary like if you call me without texting me first im fully assuming you’re in a saw trap or something

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but imagine for a moment what it must be like to be my roommate. who's usually dead asleep I get up for work but is occasionally still up, haunting the house. imagine hearing an alarm go off at 6:30, occasionally hearing a thump and swearing as I quite literally fall out of bed. imagine hearing someone croak "new order save me" as faint 80s new wave starts to drift around from my room to the toilet to the bathroom to the kitchen like a ghost. it's always some new band or composer saving me every day, and yet, somehow, by some strange alchemy, I am never saved.

and then you, being my roommate, elect not to think about it, smoke another joint, and go to bed

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but imagine for a moment what it must be like to be my roommate. who's usually dead asleep I get up for work but is occasionally still up, haunting the house. imagine hearing an alarm go off at 6:30, occasionally hearing a thump and swearing as I quite literally fall out of bed. imagine hearing someone croak "new order save me" as faint 80s new wave starts to drift around from my room to the toilet to the bathroom to the kitchen like a ghost. it's always some new band or composer saving me every day, and yet, somehow, by some strange alchemy, I am never saved.

and then you, being my roommate, elect not to think about it, smoke another joint, and go to bed

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oh man, they made you defend your thesis? that's fucked up, they told me mine was perfect the way it is and just gave me the phd

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what advice would you give to someone who just turned 20?

turn 30

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Aberystwyth

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This might be Derek Guy's greatest masterpiece.

(The Twitter thread is probably easier to read and easier to look at the images, but I wanted to make sure it got preserved. Images are the tweets.)

(Continued in reblog)

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