#actuallybipolar

[wheelie-sick]

I'll constantly see people list of disorders that cause psychosis and talk about how they're highly stigmatized and somehow they never ever mention bipolar disorder? ever? and it's almost certainly because people online tend to have this perception of bipolar as the "socially acceptable sad happy disease" and it is not. it is just not. bipolar disorder is so incredibly stigmatized and its symptoms go so much deeper than just "sad and happy"

did you know bipolar causes psychosis?

do you know what mania actually is? (hint: it's not "extremely happy"!)

did you know bipolar causes hypersexuality?

did you know bipolar causes aggression?

did you know bipolar causes generally socially unacceptable behavior?

did you know bipolar people are more likely to kill themselves in a manic episode than in a depressive episode?

did you know bipolar causes a thousand other highly stigmatized symptoms?

did you know that after my bipolar disorder diagnosis people started gossiping about how I was "unstable" and therefore "untrustworthy" and I was "erratic" and "a liability"? would you guess that these things were said by a progressive activist group who were "anti-ableism"? does this all sound like an destigmatized mental illness to you?

does it????

[disappearintheether]

[rainbowchihuahuabunny]

Every day I am brutally reminded in one way or another that this society isn't built with disabled people in mind

[traumakid-hideout]

An episode of mania almost always always always starts out so euphorically, makes you feel like you’re on the perfect drug, makes your confidence and motivation sky rocket and has you romanticizing all the fun it baits you with. It feels so amazing, you feel like nothing can hurt you or get to you.

Then the irritability comes, genuine rage, such an uncomfortable and overwhelming increase in libido, dangerous impulses, social behavior to be humiliated from by the time you crash, severe sleep deprivation that disorients the fuck out of you the longer you go without it, without even feeling tired at all. But feeling completely out of control. And if it escalates, Lord help you. Hallucinations, bad paranoia, black outs, substance abuse (or relapse if you happen to be recovering), delusions, everything that could get you into a psych ward. It isn’t fun at the end and any pleasure you feel is completely illusionary.

The worst part is I still normally never want it to stop. Because the depression after, which gets so ugly and terrible the longer, more intense the mania is, is something I’m not looking forward to at all. That, and mania can really sometimes convince you that you love it. I’m not wanting to go there though, because I have a lot to lose. Even if I don’t lose anything, I’m tired of this cycle and just can’t afford to desire it anymore. So I’m managing where I can, but wow it’s just scary to watch it take you higher and higher into it, and further and further away from yourself.

This is precisely why I despise any sort of stigma toward bipolar disorder. It’s so misunderstood, misquoted, and mistreated. I just really want and need some help. My hands are so sweaty and shaky, my heart and my mind are racing, I can’t stop talking, I can’t eat. I can’t focus, I can only fixate. And it’s just so overwhelming already.

[bipolartwo]

Gangle & the episode about Bipolar Disorder

[raccooninapartyhat]

being mentally ill while holding a tiny plush pigeon is infinitely better than being mentally ill alone. i definitely recommend just getting yourself a little guy to hold while you're busy being crazy

[bipolarmoss]

i’m sorry that wasn’t very dsm v textbook behavior of me

[bipolarblueberries]

Did I Trauma Dump or Provide Context on Myself: A Daily Debate

[myheartisfrozenoverx]

I have to urge to just fucking scream at the top of my lungs because of how fucked I am mentally

[wheelie-sick]

"I was having a manic episode" "oh yeah I've had those too!"

what I mean: I ruined my entire life in a month

what they mean: I feel silly goofy sometimes

[ashen-angel]

i’m so fucking tired of living in this chaos. every day is the same thing: trying to survive, trying to make it through, but nothing changes. it’s like no matter what i do, nothing is ever good enough. the constant pressure, the constant feeling like i’m doing everything wrong, like i’m always disappointing someone. i’m done pretending like it’s not killing me

[prenchpolar]

we need more bipolar success stories. because all you hear about are the ones who died, or had breakdowns, or struggle every day.

it will be okay. it can be okay. i'm bipolar, and i'm doing well. i'm medicated, i'm stable, i'm happy, i'm living my life. things will be okay.

[221bluescarf]

Everyone with mental illness is going to be better or worse in different areas. Even neurotypical people are better in some areas than another.

Some can work, some can't. Some can live alone, some can't. Some can drive, some can't. Some can put on a mask, some can't. Some can cook, engage in hobbies, read books, do chores, eat without purging, maintain hygiene, care for pets, go shopping, ignore hallucinations, manage delusions, be self-aware, find meds that work, rely on a support system... some can't.

Your best and your worst can even vary from one day to the next.

Don't compare yourself to others

And don't compete with others either

[that-bipolar-mood]

I met quite a handful of people with bipolar disorder who were over medicated. They often complained about the numerous side effects and issues the meds brought on.

Yet they couldn't stop, always begging for more, or a different combination. It baffled me when I could never handle more than 3 different meds.

Then I understood that some are desperate to feel the way they did before. We all have our 'befores'. Before the first episode, before diagnosis... And it's almost impossible to accept that you are changed and the before will never return to present.

Perhaps all those with chronic illnesses might relate. Seemingly, each of us lived two lives, were two people.

[coolryptid]

Man, I really do think the bpd vs bipolar confusion comes from how weirdly and inconsistently worded things are in psychiatry. Mood swings in bpd means changing emotions, but in bipolar a mood is just an energy level. People thinking you can't have rapidly changing emotions in a manic episode has been detrimental, I think.

[bpdstevenuniverse]

people just don't get how school bullying still affects you as an adult. hell, adults still get bullied at college or at work. i'm sick of ppl assuming bullying is just a dumb thing kids do and that you'll get over it when you grow up (and they likely won't even support you when you're being bullied at school). and then they shame you or make you feel ridiculous for feeling hurt.

i have severe social anxiety because of bullying. i struggle being vulnerable around my friends. i literally never open up to them. i never ask for help. i freeze when i have to do presentations. parties make me anxious too. i feel like i'm being watched at all times, even in places outside of school or college, like the public transport.

bullying ruined my life. and nobody believes me.