prenchpolar

[prenchpolar]

like i get that teens and just people in general don't know how to deal with mental health issues especially bipolar but for fucks sake WHY DID NO ONE HELP ME!! after i repeatedly said i needed their help! that i needed people to check in on me! that i was self harming and using drugs i'd previously been against!

instead it was oof prench is spamming the groupchat a lot... better make a new one without telling her... or reaching out when she stops coming to school altogether.. whatever hehe she was annoying anyway!

i am SO BITTER about how past friendships ended and idk what to do. i did wrong they did wrong we were all kids/teens that should be enough! but i'm still pissed off!!!!

[prenchpolar]

i am SO BITTER about how past friendships ended and idk what to do. i did wrong they did wrong we were all kids/teens that should be enough! but i'm still pissed off!!!!

[prenchpolar]

i've REALLY wanted a tattoo for like 8 months now but i've only just turned 18 and i'm really scared i'll regret it. just a small one to go under my s/h scars and turn them from something i really regret to something i find funny as fuck. it's a little doodle jump guy, the joke is that he's jumping on my scars - you probably won't get it unless you've played the game. but it's for me. and with the bipolar, i'm worried it'll be a manic mistake. ahh idk i just wanted to get my thoughts abt this out there.

[prenchpolar]

i envision my bad thoughts as a little gremlin rat creature and whenever they pipe up "u should kys!!" i give it a pick it up by the scruff of its neck and give it a flick on the head.

[prenchpolar]

maybe i'm hot and smart and interesting or maybe i'm manic. i'm probably manic. yeah, actually, i'm manic

[prenchpolar]

thank fucking god i wasn't on tumblr at my worst, i would never have recovered.

there are so many tags on here that are just people sharing their cuts, their diets, their meanspo, their romanization of it all.

even now, mostly clean besides some hiccups, i look at it and feel sick and sad and tempted.

these communities are so toxic to anyone in them. they're a unique trauma.

[prenchpolar]

on the one hand i know sleep is important. i need it to function. on the other... i can stay up forever!! chug energy drinks!! sleep is for the WEAK baby!!

As someone who is fundamentally a very logical person, being mentally ill is so fucking annoying by how it doesn't respond to logic. Like I know that getting enough sleep is important and yet I'm still up late because the part of my head infected with brain fungus doesn't want to.

[prenchpolar]

we need more bipolar success stories. because all you hear about are the ones who died, or had breakdowns, or struggle every day.

it will be okay. it can be okay. i'm bipolar, and i'm doing well. i'm medicated, i'm stable, i'm happy, i'm living my life. things will be okay.

[prenchpolar]

does bipolar count as being neurodivergent??

[prenchpolar]

i flipflop between thinking i'm autistic and thinking i'm not. whenever i reflect on my friendships, i find things that in retrospect seem pretty autistic.

my autistic brother thinks i'm more autistic than him but can't elaborate beyond "you're the most autistic person i know" and i trust his word but idk i don't /feel/ autistic. it just doesn't really fit into the image i have of myself??

[prenchpolar]

i used to give my friends like proper care packages when they were sad and i'm only now realizing that might have been a bit weird. they never really reacted well

[prenchpolar]

y'all i'm 18 in 9 days.. what the FUCK

[prenchpolar]

dude i have so much body fat surely it should warm me up??????

[prenchpolar]

like i feel like if i was hot i'd be less "crazy girl who's super obsessive and unfunny" and more "funny girl i actually reply to because one day she might show me her boobs"

i am not pretty enough to have this terrible a personality

[prenchpolar]

i am not pretty enough to have this terrible a personality

[prenchpolar]

you know what? i'm a cassie lover. you can't take that away from me. and honestly? my opinion is better than yours. have some empathy for addictions other than drugs babes.. love can be an addiction. you see how much pain she's going through, and how little anyone around her gives a shit? girly needs help not a play ridiculing her.

[prenchpolar]

as much as i'd love for this to be true it just isn't ): it's just a rumor sorry loves

i did not know this and i had watched the show since it first came out! i always knew she was autistic but i didn’t know it was intentional