#bipolar thoughts

[saddevilsworld]

my head hurts. i miss the old me, the hopeful one. the one that had the ambition and the energy. the one that didn’t feel so lonely and sad all the time.

i hate this new me.

[robynleefaryna]

My princey boi

[plottwistedstory]

nichts fühlt sich real an, wenn ich’s nicht mit dir teile

[gazniet]

being active on tumblr again feels like running back to an ex that u know is only gonna fuck you up more

[sweetlytwilight]

[everlosteverfound]

Just comfort me

[bipolar-bitch1776]

im manic but like in a depression way

[doomedfromthewombfr]

Sometimes I wonder if the hypomania is worth the crash- or if the crash is just punishment for daring to feel alive for a moment

[bipolarsteaparty]

It’s true, I feel like a monster sometimes. I really do. Look at how I hurt people. Look at what I do.

[empatheticnymph]

Life with A Mental Health Disability Leave Mother. I go back to work Halloween. It’s been almost 5 months and I’ve needed every second.

[saddevilsworld]

suic1de has been heavy on my heart lately

[robynleefaryna]

Foggy morning - making me feel nostalgic

[the-drug-addicts-diary]

I wish i could get off my meds.

My mind beats to the same rhythm as my heart. It says: do-it, do-it, do-it. For a glimpse of a moment i saw what it feels like to become one with my art.

I'm not really good at it, but still, at some point, me and the canvas became two halves of a single being, and i knew i could be really good at it. It was incredible. I experienced it with writing many times before, but not with anything else.

I desire to create paintings that don't make any sense. I wish i could dedicate my life to it, to get better at it, i want to give myself away in colours and words because this way, i can become infinite.

I want that kind of orgasmic creativity that will make me lose control.

Now when I know what it's like to be out there, what i could achieve, i don't want to get back to my restrains. I didn't even stop using meds, and i can just imagine what it would look like if i did. What kind of art i would be able to make.

My doctor calls it destabilized, i call it awake.

It kinda makes me wonder what my creativity is made of, if it can be completely killed with some additional anipsychotics. Just a symptom? Maybe.

This is the only life i will get. Am i wasting my true potential by ignoring my call? By choosing the stable life? I have no idea, but getting off my meds is just a wishful thinking. Maybe in another world, i will decide to do it. But for the sake of me and everyone around me, it won't be this one.

I'm just not sure which one is worse. The madness? Or its loss?

[plottwistedstory]

Wenn mir kalt ist, dann ist da nichts, was heiß genug sein könnte um mich zu wärmen & wenn mir warm ist, dann kann ich mir kein Eis kalt genug vorstellen um mich zu kühlen.

-plot

[ovrmymind]

Never get attached!

Oopsie too late but guess what? I'll live! And you will too. Fuck em!!!!!!

[everlosteverfound]

Just forget it, not like I was important anyways