#unloved

[madatg0d]

what if i am unlovable?

web weave - (almost) all images from pinterest, most did not have credits given. the ones that did are listed below

unloveable - The Smiths / Rune Lazuli / Looking For Alaska - John Green / blankspace17 on tumblr / Franz Kafka’s wikipedia page

[butterflylvr]

I feel like nothing good in my life ever lasts

so whats the point of trying if everything is always temporary

[lovemyex]

[howifeltabouthim]

If he doesn't love me, what then? What can I expect?

Irina Reyn, from What Happened to Anna K.

[dainty-o-o-angel]

Why can't I ever be anyone's first choice?

What's so wrong about me?

Is it the way I look?

The way I speak?

Or is everything about me the problem?

All I have ever wanted was to be loved the way I love people.

To be chosen the way I choose people

To be prioritised the way I prioritise people

But I guess..I'm too unlovable and boring of a person to be chosen...

I have always hoped the best for people, saw the best in them and loved them the best that I could

But I'm always met with disappointment and feeling left out..

I guess..I am the problem after all

I'm nothing special.

[maskedmelody]

I have so much love I’m begging for someone to take. But there must be something wrong with it—I must not have made it right—for everyone who passes me leaves me only with a cold, blind gaze. And I wonder if I was ever meant to make it at all.

[shihlun]

Kunitoshi Manda

- UNloved

2001

[lovebeing-a-girl]

"You don't have to be perfect to be loved."

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE LOVED!!!"

I need someone to scream that to my face at least five times a day

[manicscales]

I love how I didn’t ask you for anything, didn’t beg, didn’t argue but I would have if you asked and yet, you could only provide me with nothing in the end.

[ishaans-posts]

The intimacy of just being heard and understood.

[blissfulcabin7]

[life-spire]

[justmeandmythoughtts]

Físicamente ya no estás, pero psicológicamente nunca te fuiste.

[janthewriter]

I Am Tired

I am tired of feeling unloved.

I do not think anybody could ever love an unusual creature of perpetual habit like me. Only can they become intrigued with fascination of the unknown. Digging and prodding, only to yield no answers, fueling their anger until they move on to next best thing of existence, one that will gift them with the satisfaction they do hungrily desire.

I am tired of feeling this way.

My mind takes me to the dungeons of a Victorian castle in some frightful place unknown. Even the moonlight raises no hope against this stand of darkness within. I can never seem to escape the shackles. I must free myself. I must free my brain from it’s cranium. And then maybe I will finally be set free at last.

I am tired of the hollow emptiness.

It almost feels as if there is nobody else out here in this void of darkness. I call out, echoes of silence are my only answer in return. I turn mute. Only to match the peaceful, yet painful silence, that I am forever engulfed in.

I am tired of feeling trapped.

I wish I could free myself from this labyrinth, that I somehow found myself stumbling into. The birdcage in my chest that encloses a beautiful bluejay, feels punctured with every breath, being poked and prodded for amusement.

I am tired of breathing.

I breath, just for the oxygen to be sucked out of my lungs through the mouth of a lover, into the infinite space unknown. It is pointless, I shall take shallow breaths until my breathing diminishes altogether; this way it can never be stolen at the hands of a thief needy for more, again.

I am tired of seeing the good.

It becomes painfully hard to see the good, when I can only feel the bad. My eyes are the most diligent. They never fail at accomplishing to deceive me with enticements that are almost up for no refusal. I know better to believe the sweet lies that my eyes show me, telling me all is well. Almost nothing in this world is.

I am tired of fighting.

I am strong and indestructible, until I am not. I become so weak and fragile that with every step I take, my bones creak, revealing my hand of vulnerability. My armor has become too heavy, my arms to weak. Tears cascade down the calming silver onto the battle ground. Fighting has become pointless. It is not in my favor. But someone must win the battle. This war must end eventually.

I am tired of only being seen externally.

My body has nothing left to give. I have ripped every organ out with my bare hands, just to serve them on a silver platter to the greedy. I have given almost everything away, but no one has accepted my heart yet. Seek pity on me and just take what’s left of my heart and make it yours.

I am tired of this torturous day to day life.

A good day only seems to stare at me with wide eyes, extending it’s hand. I reach out in acceptance, thinking greatness is to be bestowed upon me, at last. I am deceived into receiving the small left over bread crumbs called inconvenience. I watch as the the latter is passed on to the next one in line awaiting the opportunity of delight.

I can’t do this much longer.

I am just really really tired.

~Jan

[lovemyex]