#dissociative trigger
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seriously the way that jobs are biased against people without a drivers license (for whatever reason!) is insane. even if the job doesn't actually require any driving they'll still pass me over for someone with a drivers license. and it's every. fucking. job.
#this isn't just me going 'wah no one will teach me to drive' btw like it would actually be really dangerous for me to drive#because I don't have the attention capacity + the anxiety + the susceptibility to highway hypnosis + being in a moving car being a#dissociative trigger#and this is just my personal experience! I can't imagine it being revoked by the government or anything#like. I can't even get a job as a sales associate some places bc no drivers license are you for fuckin real
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“One of your alters doesn’t like me!”
My dude some of my alters don’t like ME. You ain’t special.
#our roommate because some of us are triggered by her#sigh#actually did#actually dissociative#osddid#sysblr#dissociative identity disorder#did system#actually osdd
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syscord: you cant have your source as your pfp if its problematic also you have to be completely source separated to the point where ur basically a brainmade or else ur actively harming your mental health also your gucci flop flops are creased so we're gonna have to ban you
people IRL: hey man how are you
#i just wanna clarify that some source separation is always good#but alterd shouldn't be forced to completely stop identifying as their source#like being detached to a point where source stuff isnt triggering anymore is the ideal state#but c'mon let a hazbin hotel fictive have a hazbin hotel icon and a name that relates to their source#the funnies#traumagenic system#dissociative system#system#fictive#syscord
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special brand of torture where nightmare encourages his sans-classic henchmen horror and dust to teach Killer how to “feel again” (everyone knows that’s not the real purpose) only that is dangerous in this environment and they do it by reintroducing stuff from the past that could be comforting for them but not Killer so even “small” things like trying to drink ketchup or stargaze or talk about papyrus too much triggers him so badly and frequently he often wanders around dissociated to avoid being triggered into stage 1 and then it finally happens the straw finally breaks the camels back and the meltdown almost results in his death send tweet
#cw torture#cw dissociation#cw abuse#cw conditioning#more people triggering killer to almost kill himself trying to make him ‘feel again’#not realizing that what they’re actually doing is triggering forward tht traumatized dissociative part#and reinforcing the conditioning that emotions are dangerous#stage 1!killer#stage 2!killer#killer sans stages#murder time trio#dust sans#horror sans#murder sans#nightmare sans#hell maybe dust and horror did it on purpose 🤷#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer sans#killer!sans#killertale sans#something new sans#something new au#undertale something new#undertalesomethingnew#killertale#undertale au#undertale aus
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damn... siffrin has definitely always been a big dissociater but like. post-canon i bet snapping out of it could be a trigger itself now, bc it might feel somewhat similar to snapping into awareness at the start of a mid-house loop??
like in the loops it went -gets hurt / gets freaked out / knows they're about to die -dies / loops -now they're somewhere else
and now that they're out of the loops it goes -gets hurt / gets freaked out / feels like they're gonna die -dissociates / forgets -now they're somewhere else
#esp since half the potential loop starting points are hanging out with their friends around the campfire??#which would be a normal thing for the party to do to try to establish normalcy while siffrin is freaking out???#so then coming out of the fugue of panic/dissociation is its own trigger and puts them right back in it.#almost like he's... stuck in a loop-#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat#too bad you can't resize images on here like on cohost that image is way too big now. oh well :3#the moment this left my queue i got sick of the too-big siffrin pic. [ensmallens you] [ensmallens you] much better#thoughts about siffrin#thoughts#silver's greatest hits
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Daily reminder that your body shouldn’t look the same as did when you were 14. It’s not a matter of gaining or losing weight from that age, it’s the fact that your body literally changes over the years. Especially in your teens. It’s just how bodies work. Don’t punish yourself for something you have no control of.
#mental health#positivity#mental illness#self care#self help#recovery#pro recovery#ed recovery#actually cptsd#actuallytraumatized#actually dissociative#actually ptsd#eating disorder recovery#ed but not sheeran#i wanna be thinner#th1gh gap#disordered eating thoughts#ana stuff#ana trigger#ed vent#4norex1a#thin$po#pro ans#tw ed in the tags#tw edd#ed bllog#mealspo#male ed#I want to be small#trans ana
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✨Furor✨
and some annotations from the Aeneid bc we finished it in class
#This is specifically in book 2 when he sees Helen and tries to kill her and has to be stopped#Furor being triggered by a violation of pietas amirite#I love when aeneas dissociates and commits atrocities#He’s very human idk with like a strong sense of duty that no one will let him forget#Like no one will let him just stop and breathe for a second yknow#Until he’s just the perfect killing machine with a one track mind#Poor guy#the aeneid#aeneas#greek mythology#mythology art#My art
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Regular Leo and Our Other Halves Leo. My little vent outlets:
I head cannon Leo disassociating, reliving events, and having a truly hard time forgiving himself post-movie.
Joys shown through my boy. Art block is starting to hit hard, but I've retaliated by drawing my feelings in two mediums.
#exhausted's art#I'm fine. just tired after a nightmare load of stress. /gen#had some stressful mixed with good news mixed with finals this week#Said news also changes my schedule so that also caused me more stress.#I also didn't take important medicine until later in the day (I need to take it in the morning).#Was going to take it earlier but went back to bed after my last early morning class (because I was eepy).#So now I pay the consequences#I'll be okay though. I'll be back to my “normal” self in a day or two.#our other halves#rottmnt#art#my art#tmnt fandom#rottmnt leo#ooh leo#rottmnt ooh#tw eyestrain#tw dissociation#should I put other trigger warnings?/gen
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i appreciate the curiosity and desire to understand when people ask me what growing up religious/in a cult was like, how religion and religious trauma impacts me, why i'm so against christianity, but i kind of dread those questions now because it's so... impossible to explain it properly. i don't know how to explain to people that don't have that experience that it's everything and it's a million little things.
#like. there's a reason my therapist didn't really get the religious trauma until we had been working on it every week for at least a year#i keep trying to write this post and explaining it but i keep dissociating and like#that's part of it too#there are a lot of things i don't remember that only come to me when i'm triggered/having a flashback#there are a lot of things that are normalized so even when i realize they're traumatizing#other people don't#there are a lot of things that don't sound very upsetting and only make sense in the context of larger things#there are some things you can't understand the weight of unless you've been in it#there are some thing you just straight up forget until something reminds you of it#there are just... so many bits and pieces that make up what makes it traumatic#and xtianity is so fucking normalized that nobody blinks an eye about it#if i never have to explain my religious trauma to a MHP again it will be too soon#religious trauma#ex christian#ex cult
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Can I have advice on how to advocate for myself?
I am one of the alters in a system, I think I front the most often after the host, and I have met a mental health professional I feel very unsure of.
I have developed some skills to stop and analyze situations before I act thanks to a DBT skill course, but I have currently only come to the "stop" and "notice I feel bad" stage in this analysis. Anything else feels fuzzy and difficult.
On one hand, he seems like he is genuinely interested in our general wellbeing.
On the other hand, in my opinion, he seems to be pushing towards integration without having us on board with that. I understand this is not necessarily bad, and that I am in a strong emotion right now, but it is setting off all of my alarm bells. I feel like he isn't listening. I feel like he doesn't understand. I feel like he is pushing us to talk about ourselves in a very specific way as to go towards integration. Some things that I can't put into words makes me feel like we are like a project to him, a problem to be solved, and that disagreeing would make him personally upset. I recognize logically that I could be wrong, and that my impulse to change care provider is just that, an impulse guided by a strong emotion.
Okay, therapy speak nuance over. Cancelling therapy forever. In self defence...
Basically, how do I figure out if this is a real threat or a perceived threat and how I should act in order to get to a place that is actually safe?
(I'm tagging this with different related tags in order to find help, I'm not claiming all these tags apply to me)
#dissociative identity disorder#other specified dissociative disorder#did#osdd#integration#forced integration#anti psychiatry#self advocacy#mad pride#disability pride#mental health#psychiatric abuse#just in case this will trigger someone#but also because people there might have advice#dbt#dialectical behavior therapy
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need more killer smut/nsfw that actually turns out to be killer angst because oh fuck he’s dissociating or oh fuck triggered stage switch or something like that
#cw suggestive#i guess#killer sans#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer!sans#killertale#killertale sans#undertale something new#undertalesomethingnew#something new#something new sans#something new au#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmares gang#nightmare’s gang#undertale au#undertale aus#ive seen it a lot with cross on ao3#thought itd be interesting to explore with killer#what happens if he tries to allow his partner to have some control over him#or they do or say something that triggers his body or other stages#cw dissociation#cw trauma#theres a lot of vulnerability and openness in sex#things killer isnt used to and doesnt trust#anyway#whats sex like for someone who views vulnerability and emotions as life threatening
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ASPD culture is not understanding why people freak out about the idea of dead human bodies because it's just meat. It used to be alive and now it isn't. You wouldn't freak out about the idea of roadkill, would you? What's the difference
aspd-culture is
#tw death#tw dissociation#putting that one because associating humans with flesh can cause dissociation despite being accurate#not trying to trigger anyone on accident#aspd-culture-is#aspd culture is#aspd culture#actually aspd#aspd#aspd awareness#actually antisocial#antisocial personality disorder#aspd traits#anons welcome
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wait a minute hold on wait wait wait wait wait hold on hold on hold on oooohhhhhh i need a minute i just noticed something and im gonna cryyyyyyyyy
extended stay au
dons neck has a scar on it now :( it wasnt there before :( :( howd he get it??? :( :( :(
broski this whole au makes me feral to the nth degree i cant even put it into words how much i adore it i just hafta point at your amazing art and scream incoherently
He's always had an issue with Karai-bots
(Thank you!!!! I love seeing you in my notes and in my inbox I always get super stupid excited lol)
#takes place around his second year in that dimension#i have a while comic i wanna do about this topic but karai (in any form. bot or not wink wink) are super triggering for him after yknow...#at first he would freeze and dissociate and/or panic but in present time... hes able to push past that. sometimes. it makes him dangerous#his family (mostly) has a strict no killing rule. he didn't have that in the future. and sometimes when he looks at karai hes back there#(i say mostly bc like. s1 leo did try to behead the shredder. im sure there are more examples but im not far in my rewatch)#anyway#extended stay au#tmnt#tmnt 2003#sainw au#gijinka#donatello#2003 donatello#art#digital art#ask#fanart
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Does anyone else dissociate when the blood starts to come out? ( ◡́.◡̀) Or perspective goes messy because my skin feels like paper texture.
#cvtaddict#sh#self h@rm#sh cvt#sh twt#cvtt!ng#$h tw#i wanna cvt#$h h4rm#$h vent#$h relapse#$h tumblr#$hblr#s3lf mutilation#$elf h4rm#$elf harm#sh things#sh trigger#sh tumblr#cvtblr#tw blood#dissociation#self mutalition#tw self destruction
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Is anyone else ever struggling so much with the Big Trauma™ that they don’t even realize something else was traumatic until it punched them in the face with a panic attack
-host
#Honestly triggers are super embarrassing sometimes#did osdd#osdd alter#did system#osdd system#osddid#dissociative system#sysblr#osdd#system things#system stuff#trauma#traumagenic osdd#traumagenic did#traumagenic system
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wonky lapis page
#peridart#something triggered me earlier and ive been having on and off dissociation spells for the last two hours -__-
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