#dad!thomas
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To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.
Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.
Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.
Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.
The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.
The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.
#batman#dc comics#batfam#bruce wayne#dcu#batfamily#dc robin#jason todd#dick grayson#nightwing#good dad bruce wayne#funny Batman#god I love them#Jon Kent#red hood#red robin#tim drake#damian wayne#batman and robin#robin#robin dc#dc azrael#duke thomas#signal dc#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect dc quotes
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do you think that bruce sometimes calls the bat kids by the wrong names? like
“dick can you pass me that file please?” and tim’s standing there with this 😑 look on his face.
“what?”
“you called me dick.”
“did i?”
or
“jason-tim-cass fuck titus!” he was trying to get damians attention who is looking at his father like he’s having a stroke.
or
“can you ask jason to come here please?”
“jason doesn’t live here b”
“what? oh no i meant duke.”
#it’s very dad core#giving bruce dad attributes is my favourite thing#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#duke thomas#tim drake#damian wayne#bat family#batfam headcanons#headcanon#dc
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Superman: I haven’t seen you at the watchtower for a while. Where have you been the last few weeks, Batman?
Bruce: Rehab.
Superman, worriedly: Oh, I’m so sorry- I never knew you struggled with that. If you don’t mind me asking, what for?
Bruce, grimacing as he watches public footage of Signal and Red Hood starting a dumpster fire out of Pro-Joker merch: ..adoption.
#‘bruce wayne is a bad dad’ ‘bruce wayne is a good parent!!’ NO. Bruce Wayne is a wine mom#he has tacky 2000’s beige signs around the house that his kids beg him to take down#wine. sleep. vigilante. repeat!!#jason steals them and puts them in Tim’s CEO office#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#superman#clark kent#justice league#batman and robin#robin#incorrect batman quotes#incorrect batfamily quotes#I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE DYNAMIC DUO MOVIE#duke thomas#signal#signal dc#red hood#batkids#hes proud but can’t condone this or else it’ll turn into Duke and Jason burning down entire warehouses next#rehab was Alfred making him sit through lectures on communication
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Bruce Wayne calling any of his children sweetheart.
Especially if they are hurt or crying or otherwise distraught.
That’s it. That’s the post.
#batman#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#batfam#dick grayson#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#dc comics#batfamily#robin#cassandra cain#duke thomas#hurt/comfort#terms of endearment#sweetheart is just so tender I can’t
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Just a cute lil thought:
Since Bruce's kids all love to play around and hide in his cape as Robins, I wonder if he makes them blankets out of the same materials as his cape so they can have a piece of security when Bruce isn't there?
I remember in Dick and Jason's older comics (correct me if I'm wrong), they used to stay up late waiting for Bruce when he'd go out as Batman alone, so I'm gonna take this as confirmation that all his kids have done this at some point.
So now I'm totally gonna hc that in order to encourage his kids to not stay up late for him or as a way to help them feel more safe and secure when he's not there, he makes them all blanket replicas of his cape for them to snuggle with :')
And also just imagine his kids all grown up, and they STILL have the blankets with them, regardless of if they've moved out.
#all Bruce's children probably associate his cape with safety so just imagine lil security blankies for all his kids 🥺#his cape is also like kinda impenetrable to certain projectiles/dangers so its like an actual security device for his kids too lol#batman#batfamily#bruce wayne#batkids#batfam#batdad#Dick Grayson#Jason todd#cassandra cain#tim drake#duke thomas#damian wayne#dc comics#let bruce wayne be a loving dad dc cmon#Robin#nightwing#red hood#black bat#red robin#signal#fanatical posting
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honestly one of the main reasons I like dc is that they can’t keep a storyline straight for shit. anything I don’t like is just *not real*. that’s different storyline babes what are you talking about???
like at this point I can consider shit like wfa and hell even well written fanfics as canon bc who knows what’s going on with those funky little people?? certainly not the dc writers
#like anything I want to be true is and no one can stop me#if I want my gay little characters to be gay and happy then I can ignore everything preventing it#Bruce being a good dad#canon to me#jason has ptsd and is working on it? canon#the batfamily is a family? canon bc I say so#Alfred is alive and well and actually is immortal#timkon#stephcass#jayroy#all canon to me and the fucked up dc continuity can’t do shit#dc#dc comics#batman#batfamily#jason Todd#dick grayson#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#bruce wayne#alfred pennyworth
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Poor Bruce thought Duke was going to tell him something else and just wanted to be supportive :(
Commission Info / Kofi
#batman#batman comics#batman dc#batfam#batfamily#the batfam#the batfamily#dc comics#dc#comics#dcu#bruce wayne#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne is a good parent#good dad bruce wayne#good parent bruce wayne#duke thomas#duke thomas the signal#the signal dc#dc signal#signal#the signal#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian wayne al ghul#damian al ghul wayne#robin#dick grayson#richard grayson#nightwing
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bruce forces the batkids to go to his charity balls and he gives them suits and dresses for it- but he accidentally switches tim and Stephanie's outfits.
*Jason, Dick, and Duke huddled together looking at Tim and Stephanie walk into the ballroom*
Jason: They didn't.
Dick: They wouldn't
Duke: They did.
Stephanie: *wearing a black and red tux*
Tim: *holding her arm while wearing a bright purple dress, with heels*
Bruce: *sighs in tired dad*
#tim drake#timothy drake#stephanie brown#spoiler#red robin#robin#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#duke thomas#signal#gotham#gotham city#batman#batfam#batfamily#batkids#dad bruce wayne#incorrect quotes#dc comics#incorrect dc quotes
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I forgot to tell this before but what if Bruce has redecorated many of the countless rooms in the manor to adjust to whatever thing his kids like
Dick got a training room for gyminastics, there are bars hanging from the roof, equipment Bruce doesn't even know what's for but that it surely entretains his son and the floor was totally replaced by mats
Jason? "Casually" his room has a secret room attached to it that you can only enter trhu a secret door behind a bookshelf in his bedroom, and "just by chance" it's also another library, that has "secret and censored" books for being controversial in their time, it also just happens to have a skylight and one of those one-way windows
Tim? Bruce made him a dark room, of course he did, that's attached to another room, the light is bare there, and it has two boards, one where you can use magnets and a marker and one for the old red string and tack's
Cass? A whole dance studio that she didn't ask for (none of them did, really) but she appreciates it, mostly because she can use it whenever she feels like it, even the middle of the night because its sound proof
Steph? Unnecesary, she appropiated one herself, later Bruce gave her money to do it whatever she felt like
Damian? One for him to paint, and it's clear he likes it because it's messy, Damian's own room isn't, but his one? Even the big window that lights the room is covered in paint and chalk here and there, the supplies might be ordered by color and size, but not a single one is ever totally cleaned
Duke was told he could choose but if it takes too long Bruce is choosing for him
#batfamily#batman#good dad bruce wayne#bruce wayne#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#dont think i showed as much of the last ones as i wanted#my mind feels weird rn
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Part 44! Fun fact, I actually am a natural ginger, but I have been able to gaslight a specific few people into thinking that I'm blonde and just dye it. They've thought that for at least two years at this point. I want to see how long it can go lmao
Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next
#twitter au#thank you guys for being so patient while waiting for this update! The next one will probably be a lot sooner#also if its not clear Jason isnt actually ginger he just decided to cause problems lmao#dc#Bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#Tim drake#red robin#duke thomas#the signal#damian wayne#robin#hal jordan#green lantern#barry allen#the flash#batfam#batfamily twitter au#justice league#social media au#dc comics#the justice league#dc universe#dcau#good dad bruce wayne
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Ok I had this rotting in my mind for days now
Bruce *going live as brucie Wayne because he saw a tweet about him saying he was acting weirdly (it was actually damian shit posting) and paranoid abt his identity he decides to up the brucie effect to 100* : and then he winked at moi! Like, can you believe itttt~
Dick *kicks the door open, bursting into the room full on sobbing* : bruuuceee
Bruce *immediately stops what he was saying and gets up to comfort him* : what's wrong chum?
Tim, steph and duke *run into the room in various levels of crying*
Bruce *actually starts to panic* : kids?
Damian and cass *walk in sniffing* : baba! (Just dami lmao)
Bruce *pale and looks about ready to cry himself* : what's wrong?who was it? Give me names,descriptions, anything-
Jason-youre-not-my-dad-i-dont-live-here-fuck-you-mothefucking-todd *walks in red-faced and barely keeping it together*: dad..
Okay, picture this we've got Bruce pale and sweaty, holding a still sobbing dick and and surrounded by steph,cass,duke and picking damian up all quietly crying and/or sniffing and we've got tim pressing his face to Bruce side, shoulders chaking and then jason of all people starts sniffing and Bruce literally goes even paler (of that's even possibe) and pulls him in
Bruce : What's wrong? Talk to me, sweetheart
Dick : it-it's they- * Starts wailling*
Bruce : they? Who's they? Did you get their names?adresss? Social security number?
Steph : n-no it's not- *hiccups and buries her face on him, you can hear her crying*
Jason :..I don't think I'll ever be the same
Bruce : from what? What is it?
Barbara * Wheeling in, popcorn in hand, eyes red and sniffing:
Bruce : Barbara?
Babs: hey b
*Que lots of sniffing*
Bruce : what's going on?
Babs:Oh, we watched a movie
Bruce: excuse me?
Babs: Yeah, grave of the fireflies, man that was heartbreaking
*higher crying*
Bruce:
The next day
Headlines go like this :
*brucie Wayne secretly just a loving father*
*brucie Wayne threatens whoever hurts his children*
*Wayne children being dependent on their dad no matter how old they get*
Social media similarly is bursting with :
"I love how he was ready to commit murder for them lmaooo"
"Is it just me or did brucie just get 10 times hotter*
"Man, dick grayson crying is something I didn't know I needed, that man is such a pretty crier"
"Damn, I love how tim drake and Stephanie brown just buried themselves in their dad"
"My God I always thought damian wayne was bratty but he's actually really cute?"
*God brucie holding damian, dick and still hugging all his other children is so hot"
"Hold on, isn't jason todd dead?"
(And no, this isn't me projecting. grave of the fireflies did not emotionally destroy me. What?)
#they're my babies#batfam#dc universe#batman#bruce wayne#brucie wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#stephanie brown#duke thomas#cassandra cain#damian wayne#jason todd#barbara gordon#social media#bruce is so done#bruce is a tired dad#bruce is a good dad#give him break tho#my poor babies
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every bat kid is cursed with the plague that is their friends think that their siblings are unbelievably attractive (mainly because everyone in the wayne family could be models if they really wanted to) even if it’s just baseless attraction with no intention to pursue
roy: so your brother, he’s pretty cute isn’t he?
dick: you are so much older than him roy, you have a kid! and why would i agree with you!?
roy: but—
dick: go near him and i will break the golden rule
—
kori: so, how has dick been lately —
jason: kori, for my well being and mental state i do not wanna imagine one of my best friends with my brother, just give him a phone call - i can’t with the swooning this early in the morning
—
kon: damn, i mean i know he tried to kill you… but your brother is real metal y’know what i mean?
tim: what are you yapping about?!
kon: i wanna fuck your brother tim, jeez you’re dense
tim: jason? the.. REDHOOD? YOU WANNA- NO!!!!??
—
jon: damian, ever notice how dick and tim —
damian: finish that sentence and i will maim you
—
steph: cass is hot
duke: no…
steph: what? you’re saying she’s not??
duke: dude, she’s my sister, be so fr
—
this also applicable to bruce wayne, because why wouldn’t it ??
clark: your dad—
cass pulling out bright green knife from out of nowhere: no.
#dc#cass is a daddy’s girl#bruce was born to be a girls dad - sorry#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#roy harper#koriand'r
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More thoughts about cigarette mom! Thomas and Bruce HERE WE GO—
I just. I love mean dad Thomas, man.
Not mean in a way that makes Bruce feel small and worthless and insignificant, no, —
Mean in the sense of refusing to sugar coat and coddle because this is Gotham, and he can’t.
“Bruce I am NOT buying you that dumbass squeesh-mellow bullSHIT. Cause it’s 300 bucks, that’s why! We’re rich, not STUPID. You want it so bad, how about getting a JOB.”
Bruce is 5 years old and 4 feet of nothing and every inch his mother, which is why he could swallow the universe whole, Alfred thinks,
“I’m too CUTE for a job!”
“Well, babe, you can either be cute, or you can be broke. When you choose, let me know.”
Bruce’s first job was being Martha’s model for paintings, bringing Thomas his Budlights after long nights at the hospital, and taste tasting for Alfred.
I feel like baby Bruce was such a brat and Alfred is trained for inhuman composure. It’s kinda like watching a baby kitten try to use claws they don’t have. “Are you ready to count to 10 now?”
Thomas, not even looking up from his newspaper, “Bruce! Boy, you better listen to Al if you wanna keep your teeth, you hear me?!”
Baby Bruce called the CPS on Thomas MULTIPLE times but it’s always been for like. Dad smoked in the house again even if mommy said not to and it bothers my dolls.
#I think Thomas would still be sweet and call bruce babe and bunny tho <3 he loves his baby he’s just from New Jersey#bruce employs Alfred’s gentle parenting as much as possible but those are Thomas’ grandkids 100%#bruce gently holding Tim after he stayed past bedtime: you know. my dad used to threaten to switch my organs if I didn’t go to sleep#Tim: …… that actually explains a lot#thomas wayne#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#baby bruce wayne#dc#dc comics#text#batman#text post
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As somebody who has written Batfamily fanfiction (mostly for myself but I have like two things public), Bruce Wayne's relationship with his kids will always be the hardest part.
Yeah, I could fanon it. But I do try my hardest to be at least vaguely canon-compliant in terms of characterizations/relationships.
BUT the history of Bruce Wayne as a father changes depending on the author you read, which Robin is Robin-ing at the time, and what trauma Bruce happens to be going through. Is he going to be deeply supportive of his kids and attend their events and be both awkward and proud? Is he going to hit his kids? Who knows, certainly not DC writers.
(I'm of the opinion that Bruce Lost-His-Parents-At-A-Young-Age & Adopted-Kids-Like-Him-To-Build-A-Family-He-Didn't-Have-As-A-Child Wayne ABSOLUTELY should be a Good Parent[TM], albeit a bit Overprotective Dad. But there are only a handful of authors who follow this depiction)
#i absolutely intend to repost specific to each kid's dynamic with Bruce and my stress#Wayne Family Adventures Bruce is the Good Dad we all want from him#bruce wayne is a good parent#bruce wayne is a bad parent#bruce wayne is effin complicated#batman's robin addiction#wayne family adventures#batman and robin#complicated bruce wayne#they all need therapy#dick grayson#jason todd#cassandra cain#cassandra wayne#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#batman#dc#dcu#gotham#batfamily#bruce wayne is a good dad#tired dad bruce
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Most children, once they've grown up and moved out, sometimes come back to visit their parents to use their house as a sort of personal grocery store
And with Bruce being a literal billionaire whose house is always stocked with food and supplies, the batkids (that aren't living in the manor) definitely visit just for the purpose of taking shit for themselves.
---
For Dick, it's just small things, food and maybe some utensils. Bruce is barely in the kitchen so he never notices dishes go missing, and there are like 10 other children in his house so literally any one of the younger kids could've stolen food in the middle of the night, so he doesn't bat an eye at all.
Babs probably steals Bruce's hardware or his tools from the batcave. Sometimes, if she's nice, she'll leave a note.
Steph probably takes shit that no one will notice at the time but will absolutely be annoyed about when they need said thing. Stapler, soap bars, the microwave plate, etc...(Taking after Jason, she steals the hub caps off the batmobile's tires)
However, for Jason, once his relationship with Bruce is somewhat decent, of course he's gonna be petty and start stealing the more expensive shit in the manor for his apartment. Jason's microwave is broken? The next day, the cave's self-made and enhanced microwave made by Bruce for convenience is just gone.
Jason's feeling a coffee maker for his place? The one in Bruce's study disappears, too.
---
At first, Bruce thinks he's just sleep deprived, but then much bigger things start to go missing, like the whole TV and couch set in the living room. He assumes the younger kids are just playing pranks on him (sounds like something Stephanie would do) but then Bruce notices that the thief deliberately avoids stealing things from the kitchen, which is where Alfred is most of the time, and suddenly Bruce has an irritated clue on who the culprit is.
At first, he doesn't say anything, until one day he comes back, tired from a patrol, and is about to log in all the info on the computer only to realize his batchair is gone. That's when he texts Jason a blunt "If you really need things for your place, you can just ask me. I'll buy them for you." (As if Jason himself isn't loaded from his totally legal activities)
---
So now Jason's pettiness levels increase tenfold, and oh, wouldn't you look at it, his bike needs some new tires, and he knows a great place to get some more.
One night, Bruce is just blearily getting up for a late night snack, only to see Damian scamper away with a...lamp? So Bruce immediately follows him into the foyer only to see ALL of his kids (sans the ones not living in the manor), trying to haul two arm chairs out the window, and they just stop dead silent to stare at him until someone whispers a nervous "Crap"
Bruce doesn't even have any energy to fight, he just pinches his nose and is all "What is the meaning of this" in his tired dad voice. And Duke meekly responds with "we wanted more chairs at Jason's place"
And suddenly it all makes sense. Not once did Bruce wonder how the HELL Jason managed to lug a whole 60in TV and a full couch set on his own in one night. Of course, he had accomplices. Bruce just turns right around and goes right the hell back to his room to sleep. He'll deal with this in the morning.
#Batfam#batkids#batdad#family bonding means stealing shit from ur dad to bring to ur big bro's place to make hangouts more comfortable#Bruce can measure the state of his relationship based on what Jason's currently stealing from his place#Jason isn't stealing anything at all? Ok he's MAD mad at Bruce.#Which tells Bruce he's gotta write up an apology text soon otherwise a building in Gotham's abt to blow up#Jason steals some tires from his vehicles? Means they probably had a heartfelt moment recently.#Jason steals shit Bruce KNOWS he doesn't need? Like a whole ass SINK? Bruce knows he did smth to mildy annoy Jason.#jason todd#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batman#red hood#damian wayne#barbara gordon#stephanie brown#duke thomas#batfamily#batbros#crack#dc comics#fanatical posting
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any dc character: *confessing something about their past they kept hidden out of fear/shame*
their batfam bff who had already known for a while and is now desperately trying to hide that they knew the truth this entire time: “oh, wow! that is so crazy, i am so sorry you had to go through that.”
#batman#batfamily#batfam#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily headcanons#they’re just trying hard to pretend they didn’t do a full background check right after meeting their teammate/friend#they get the paranoia from their dad#bruce wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#barbara gordon#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#duke thomas#damian wayne#being adopted by a furry is fun until you inherit all of his trust issues#at least he’s rich though!#random dc character: my parent is a villain and i became a hero to stop them!#batfam character: oh wow i am so shocked right now
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