#brucie wayne

[toxicyaoi69]

I saw a no capes au where Bruce is like actually brucie but the bat kids are still vigilantes and stuff and now I can’t stop giggling about how funny most it would be is Batman was ACTUALLY a myth but all the kids thought he was real.

Dick: was taken in as Bruce first so obviously his backstory doesn’t change.

Jason: saw Bruce’s goth really epic car and thought it was the Batmobile or sum and then Bruce just shows up and is like “that my car…”

Tim: his lore would change a bit more but, basically he dosent actually have any pictures of Batman but he fully believes Bruce Wayne is the myth Batman, and when he shows up to the manor with dick and stuff, he’s shocked to find out he really is just kinda like that.

Damian: his lore would also change a bit but, the league also genuinely thought Bruce was the Batman and all that and got Damian to believe it and when he finally goes to meet Batman and become the new Robin all the other batkids are shushing him and informing him that he really is just like that.

[dilucs-kitty]

Lois: He used to be my man, I chose him, voluntarily

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

To be a true batman fan you must simultaneously believe that batman is a middle aged man loser with mental issues, an eldritch monstrosity who is human in all the long suffering torturous wrong ways, and an cunt-serving diva with a face card so lethal it's a partial reason for inter-galaxy peace.

[shyjusticewarrior]

Bruce: My son was excited to read that book to me at bedtime.

Ms. Hall: And why are you going to sleep before your son?

Bruce: I am sleepy.

[duckysprouts]

bruce was raised by alfred, he won’t tolerate bio-child superiority

tags was inspired by some from @an-android-child post

this is pre-damian ofc

[sir-pentiouses-egg-boys]

Gotham V.S. Bruce Wayne

Bruce Wayne is in court. Not for being Batman, not even because of taxes.

but because after investing some money into metropolis business, Lex got annoyed and started a group in Gotham to complain that he owns everything.

However this court case becomes the shortest court case in legal history. Why?

Because all of Bruce's products are cheaper than those in Metropolis, the same quality. He operates 4 charities that all do amazing work, has donated supplies for attacks to schools, gas masks.

However due to this case the Leaguers who knows Clarks, & Bruce's identity realize he owns the daily planet. And 60% of Gotham

[ravenlilyrose]

Bruce is at a gala, okay, and he’s talking to a woman.

Random woman: “And we found out that we’re having another child!”

Bruce: *absolutely cackling inside, because this is about to be the funniest thing he’s done in weeks*

Brucie: “That’s wonderful! Where are they? Can I meet them? How old are they?”

Now Brucie is standing there, scanning the room for children with a huge grin on his face, while all of the random rich people stand around like ‘who’s going to explain to the adorable, well-meaning idiot that most people know they’re going to have children a few months before the children are born.’

And worse, who’s going to have to break the news to him that he can’t meet the kid today?

Because this man… this man has acquired all of his children with zero premeditation. Yes, he does have a bio kid, but that one showed up on his doorstep as a preteen. He did even less acquiring with that one than with the others.

Bruce has a blast acting out his disappointment, and has to turn some so that he can no longer see Tim and Cass leaning against each other and laughing, because otherwise he’s going to start laughing.

[marinamar4]

Okay, I don't know where I read, but credit where it's due, that in reality, Gotham, or at least some older members of Gotham, don't believe in Brucie Wayne's facade.

Why? Because Thomas and Martha Wayne were smart, Bruce was a genius in college, he's still the head of a major corporation, etc.

And because depression medications have certain "happy" effects

So the adults who have managed to survive so long in Gotham, every time they hear about Brucie Wayne's new prank or see him taking a pill for something that happened to him while Bat-ing, they only think that he witnessed the murder of his parents at age eight.

Again I am explaining myself like a closed book, I hope you understand me.

[not-a-lame-llama]

“bruce’s bank account” this, “bruce’s credit card” that. wrong. he doesn’t have one account or one card. he has a shit ton. he randomly drops em on the street sometimes. they have the pin numbers written on post it’s on em. nobody bats an eye when victims pay for their hospital bills with one of Brucie Wayne’s black cards. his credit card company place bets on wether some of the weird shit on there is fraud or not. nobody really cares.

[qwellterqustoinmark]

Know-nothing Brucie wayne

I really want a one shit or something we're Bruce just forgets he's supposed to be Brucie. It's not in the slowly way of danger creeping near and the Batman comeing forward its not special. He just..... forgets.

Genuinely forgets he's supouse to be a untrained idoit. One that can fight, becuses its fucking Gotham let's be real, but he's not suppouse to be *good*. He's a rich play boy who's spent no time in the streets, he's the kid that shyly stood behind a butler till his parents death 'left' him.

He's Bruice Wayne. The man who has guns hidden from him, who could forget both his feet if they weren't connected to him, who once spilt punch on a woman's dress and gave her his suite.

And it's normal situation. We'll for Gotham atleast. It's a normal gala, mabye the only odd thing is that many more waynes and people are present then normal- but that's not *uncommon*. So wasn't the hostage situation ship. Gotham has *manners* for this sort of thing, it was normal.

Till a guns safety clicked off.

Everyone knows what happend that night. In that cold dark Ally, in the warm bright light of the Gala. Everyone saw the gun move before, every knew that something was wrong the moment skin met skin.

*This wasn't supposed to happen*, Bruce, then everyone thought. Leaning over two cooling bodies, watching as unbound hands reached for it.

The gun. So sleek and new in the way most new robbers guns where. And untrained hands grabbed the muzzle. Twist till something snaps and points it at the man who once held it.

Brucie is still. Chest breathing deeply, yes but he moves like he's trained for this. Like he's prepared every day to be placed back in that ally to go up against someone twice his size for the chance to truly know his parents.

Everyone knew Martha and Thomas where part of the rotting underbelly. Watching as sweet-idotic-know-nothing Brucie Wayne put a bullet through a Goons head confirmed the idea that he was too.

[logicallyblind]

I'm sorry, we as a society do not talk about the fact that in order to maintain his playboy billionaire status Bruce Wayne had to sleep with a lot of people,, a lot, of people in order to maintain that.

And I'm not shaming him for that, get your hot girl summer brucie hell yea, but what I will say is can you imagine,,,

How hilarious it would be that when eventually Batman's identity gets revealed- it's not the reaction he was expecting.

‘‘Oh my god. Oh my god, Bruce Wayne Bruce Wayne the the bimbo Sexy billionaire boy. He is the stoic hard-ass Batman. There's no way-”that's not the reaction. The reaction is

“holy fucking shit I've slept with Batman”

Three quarters of that city and beyond is sat in front of their TVs, their radios, their phones,, I don't care. They're sitting there, agape going ‘I have slept with the Dark Knight. I have seen Gotham's Bat naked on his knees-‘

bruce wouldn’t be able to look the justice league nor his kids in the eyes for weeks after the reveal, solely due to the gossip channels or smth

[nyukaart]

Bruce anatomy study based on this comic my mom gave my lil brother

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

As Bruce grows older into his 50's or 60's the paparazzi and people crowding him becomes less and he thinks that people have finally decided that Bruce is too old to be attractive or mainstream and he's actually super fine with it and makes jokes( more like sarcastic remarks) about it. But in reality they've grown more freaky cause instead of looking wrinkly and a sappy old man the level of cunt he serves grows everyday,he doesn't look like a snack he looks like a buffet, 13 year olds are using his pics as the cover pages of their mafia wattpad stories, he looks majestic, absolute dilf, we don't talk about the amount of tags he's birthed just by ageing on ao3, and hes still an absolute UNIT, the reason he's not heard about it yet cause the batkids are blocking the shit OUT with all of their will and strength cause it doesn't matter if all of them are full grown adults they're still all like-THATSMYDADGETAWAYFROMHIMHEDOESN'THAVETIMEFORYOUHESBUSYBEINGOURDAD

[sharksandjays]

Brucie and his babies (and oh no he forgot he invited Clark and Diana oh no-)

[frownyalfred]

people say the Brucie Wayne persona isn’t believable but if I caught Bruce Wayne drunkenly lying under a desk in an office he shouldn’t have access to with a ream of secure documents and he replied to my “Mr. Wayne?” with “Mr. Wayne was my father—oh god, my father” and then started sobbing, I would 100% back away and leave him alone. like that shit would work on me every time.

[sir-pentiouses-egg-boys]

Brucie Wayne

People criticize Bruce for how easy it is to tell he's the Batman but. Would it? Like once he adopts all those kids yeah but Bruce he's some loveable Himbo billionaire who throws his money around, but still does good Philanthropist work. And is a guarantee on hiring anyone regardless of Background.

That Brice, the Bruce who's seen partying around, being drunk, buying companies or buildings on a whim.

He's Batman nah...

This trail of thought however makes me wonder if people think the kids may be Robin since.

Jason, Cass, Barbara, Duke, Lucas, & Stephanie are clear the other Robins however are toast.