fanaticalthings

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We all know how flustered Battinson would be as a first time dad, but can you imagine him when half the rogue roster AND JL members come to them after Jason gets adopted?

Naturally, they assume he’s Bruce’s biological kid. And chaoes quickly comes knocking.

Harvey is VERY ready to be a dad. Too ready. “Don’t even worry about it, even if we’ve had our problem, OBVIOUSLY I’m the father, and I’ll be there every step of the way.”

“What.”

“There’s no need to hide the truth, Bruce, I’m not mad. I’ll be the best dad I can be. I won’t even let Two Face show him how to shoot a gun.”

“I already know how to do that :D”

“WHAT?”

“What did I tell ya?” The seamless switch is blink-and you miss it, but not for Bruce’s sharp eyes. TF just grins, switchblade sharp, ruffling at Jason’s hair, “That IS my boy.”

Clark sheepishly approaching Bruce one day, sitting down at the JL cafeteria table. His handsome face fashioned a bare earnestness which only confuses Bruce MORE.

“Hey. So, we should probably talk about Jason, right?”

“What.”

“I’m really sorry if I did something that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. But I’m ready to step up. So when should I move in?”

“We haven’t slept together, Clark.”

“Bruce, I think I’d know my kid when I saw him.”

Hal can’t take this anymore. “HE’S A MAN?” He pauses, “Also, why am I not questioned? I could be the baby daddy! I could SO be the baby daddy!”

“Go away, Hal.”

“Yeah ok.”

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Honestly it would be hilarious if Clark and Bruce started dating and Clark was unaware that Bruce was batman or knew his identity.

At some point Bruce kisses him as superman after a rescue and Clark is emotionally going through it coz his boyfriend kissed another guy. Even if that guy is technically him he's still mad and jealous of himself somehow coz even superman can't compete with Superman. He's not even sure whether or not to confronted Bruce about his affair since it keeps happening.

While he's trying to figure all this out Batman,of all people, kisses him. And he does it so casually. Sure, Clark had a crush on him for a while but he's over it now and he's in a committed relationship that he thought batman knew about. Now he's extra scared of confronting Bruce because he doesn't want it to look like he's just starting a fight so he can be with batman. And he's still hoping there's a way to work through this and for them to be together. He's being haunted by his moral code to just talk about this and get it over with but he's still afraid of losing Bruce and living in the shadow of the idolized version of himself again.

*Meanwhile in the batcave*

La la la Bruce, twirling around liking a fairy princess living his best life: my boyfriend's the best and every thing is perfect. Maybe world peace is real. Is this what happiness feels like?

The bat kids have tried giving him several rabies shots and an exorcism.

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completely unrelated to football but lady liberty made me do it

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I love queer movies where the protagonist realizes that his ex-girlfriend is better off with someone else, and that he actually finds his soulmate in his mutant best friend (+their love language is killing each other)

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Making memes is coping for whatever the ending of that movie was

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While I do find it funny that henchmen in Gotham probably warn each other about the Red Hood because he's a bat who will actually kill you. I think it would be better if Jason was actually seen as some sort of savior or idol to like 90% of the goons scattered around Gotham. Doesn't matter who they work for, they all know Jason, former crime-lord that took over majority of Gotham's underground in one night.

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Jason, years after the events of UTRH, now fighting crime alongside the batfam, except every goon he runs into immediately recognizes him, stops fighting, and starts begging.

the first time it happens, Jason assumes they're begging for their lives only to hear them begging for him to return to the crime lord business so they can work for him and not Gotham's current money-stingy, abusive rogues (Black Mask lol)

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Jason showing up to patrol as backup for Dick in an overrun warehouse full of Two-Face's henchmen and as Jason's about to interfere, one of the men stops dead in their tracks and stares really hard at Jason until:

Goon: Oh my God, boss, is that you?

Jason, pulling out his guns, about to shoot:

Goon: Mr. Hood, sir???

Jason, halfway about to pull the trigger: Wait a min–Jeremy? Oh wow, it's been ages! How's the wife?

Goon (Jeremy): Oh my God it IS you, holy shit where have you BEEN? Me and the guys miss you, man!

Dick, with a knife at his throat: What is happening right now

Jason: Ahh, well, crime-lording just wasn't fitting in on the daily schedule. Tryna turn over a new leaf and all that

Goon (Jeremy): Aw, that's disappointing. We really liked working for you, right guys?

[Chorus of enthusiastic "YEAHS" from the rest of the henchmen (even the one holding Dick at knifepoint)]

Goon (Jeremy): Well, anyways, I can't beat you up knowing you're my old boss! You gave us the best health benefits! We'll just let you take the evidence and leave.

Jason: Aw, thanks guys :)

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And that's why 95% percent of Jason's missions in Gotham end in success. Not because he's willing to kill people or because rogues are terrified of him, but because 90% of the rogues' henchmen once worked for Jason and fuckin love him lol.

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tim: dad... I have a boyfriend

bruce: what? but you're supposed to get back together with stephanie

tim: what?

dick: whoa whoa whoa, I thought you were an ally

bruce: I'm not being homophobic I just need steph to marry into the family

cass: I have something to share

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Yeah okay this is my new favourite blog I will be spam liking ur posts :)

omg tysm for the kind words!! 🥹 sorry i answered so late, I'm really bad at checking my inbox but I hope you'll enjoy sticking around!! ❤️❤️

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"You would've been a good father, Eddie."

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some dudebros: tom hardy must be held at gunpoint to still be doing these sony venom movies

tom hardy: WRITES the movie, PRODUCES the movies, repeatedly states how much venom and eddie means to him, reads all the comics, #1 veddie shipper

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All our times have come, here but now they're gone

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For some reason, I forgot I followed you so I tried to refollow you, getting confused to why there wasn’t a follow button

Anyways this is what happens when you scroll tumblr sleep deprived and on pain meds

aww thank you 🥹 I'm so flattered that you tried following twice LMAO

It means a lot that you enjoy my posts! And I feel you on that sleep deprived scrolling lollll

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Masterlist of the Batfam Social Media AU posts

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Updated Oct 31, 2024

Pt. 1: The duality of man feat. Jason Todd & Damian Wayne

Pt. 2: Dick "The Firstborn" Grayson vs Jason "The Firstdead" Todd

Pt. 3: Gently used casket for sale :)

Pt. 4: Prince of Gotham "Bruh Wayne" aka "Father of 10+ mean children"

Pt. 5: Bruce Wayne is NOT Batman

Pt. 6: BREAKING NEWS: Lex Luthor BUYS Twitter??

Pt. 7: Just another night in Gotham

Pt. 8: God's strongest soldier (the oldest sibling)

Pt. 9: Bruce Wayne texts like a boomer

Pt. 10: Just Gothamtwt things

Pt. 11: Conspiracies in the family group chat

Bonus:

Jay + Roy texts

Jason "I swear I hate my dad" Todd

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important family group chat discussions

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Jason Todd with his goons:

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im CRYING that man cant text ANYONE normally

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

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Wayne Family Adventures - Season 3, Ep 133

don’t talk to me, I need 10 business day to recover