#the batfamily

[spicy-apple-pie]

tbf he does get mixed up with cass a lot lol

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[mysticwolfshadows]

I imagine that it eventually becomes second nature to expect Kon and Jon there. That between visiting Tim and Dami, they're just around a lot when Bruce is awake. So there comes a day where Bruce expects his sleepy/groggy morning head count to be 'six dark haired boys'. And he sits down, and the first thing he asks is, "where's Kon and Jon?" And everyone is like, "they're at home???" And it takes Bruce a second to remember "oh, right, those aren't my kids!"

But I love the idea of post mission, the big kind, Bruce is injured, but has to do a kid check. And Bruce is gathering up his kids that are spread across the battlefield, and Kon and Jon are really confused when they're pulled into the bat huddle and told to report injuries. And they're basically fine. But then Bruce in nodding and ushering them all into the batplane or something, and Clark is shouting across the field, like, "uh, B??? Where are you taking my kids???" And Bruce, mind foggy from injury and post battle adrenaline drop, just looks back at Clark like he's the idiot, and says, "I'm taking my kids home?" And just leaves.

Word spreads around the younger teams that if you spend enough time at Wayne Manor, you become one of Bruce's kids. So they start coming to join breakfast, seeing how long it takes for Bruce to realize. The dark haired boys all have the most success, but give it enough time, and even Wally with his red hair goes unnoticed, sitting next to Dick, who is embarrassed on behalf of his father.

Bruce does a head count one morning. There's 26. He nods like this is normal. He sits. Asks someone to pass the jam. Garfield passes it, as nonchalant as he can manage. Bruce squints. Has he... Always had a green one? Everyone holds their breath for a second. Bruce suddenly feels like he's about to be made fun of, and instead just pats Garfield's head and says "thanks son." Everyone at the table is barely containing their laughter.

Bruce's gaze sweeps over the 6 black haired boys at the table. He hasn't slept in 2 days, but he's pretty sure there were only four the last time he checked. Yeah, 4 black haired boys, one black haired girl, a blonde and a red-head... Right? He'd never live it down if he forgot about having two extra sons. He must investigate subtly.

"So... How is school going for everyone?" He asked hesitantly. Damian gives his usual answer about it being below his pay grade, Cass whispers something about her homeschooling, and the smaller boy (goddammit, what the fuck is his name?!) Says something cheerful about a school play while the taller boy with piercings (Jesus, is memory loss a part of being exposed to toxins nightly??) Just groans.

Then, Tim who is sat near the end of the table speaks up, "Can someone pass salt my way?"

"Ope! I've got it!" The small one says with a smile, stretching across the table to hand it to him with tiny hands.

"Im closer, I could have grabbed that for him, ya goof." The bigger one snorts.

Bruce blinks for a few seconds. His children weren't that polite to each other and saying "ope"? ....

"Oooohhh, you're Kent's!" Bruce blurts. Everyone stares at him.

[custardtartsfan]

Jason Todd uses a flip phone. No he will not upgrade.

a little bit proofread! youd think the child of an ESL teacher would know whats up but youd be wrong! anywho this is vv off the dome and i didnt exactly know how to end it so please tell me if you feel like it flows right i appreciate any and all feedback very dearly ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

“Jay!” his partner calls from the other side of his apartment, making their way from the kitchen to where he was cleaning his guns in the living room. A very ritualistic process for him. They're all uniformly laid out on his coffee table (which he did not own before getting into a relationship, shout out the wife) , unassembled and being very carefully cleaned with a level of precision you seldom see outside of scientific glass blowers. Hes locked in

“What?” Jason looks up from his gun cleaning ritual 

“Can i borrow your phone? I wanna order food” they smiled, leaning over the back of his couch

“Whats wrong with yours?” he asks, “dead” y/n replied simply, and Jason reaches into his pocket with minimal grumbling

Jason was not a fan of technology, as a rule. He thinks its evil. He doesn't have any social media, does not watch any tv that isn't the news, and doesn't particularly like having his photo taken on anything digital. But still, none of that knowledge about their boyfriend couldve prepared y/n for being presented with a tomato red  Motorola RAZR V3 Flip Cellphone after it was dug out of Jasons cargo pants

“...what the fuck is this” they gawked at him. They hadnt been together all that long, but long enough that y/n feels that they should have noticed this piece of ancient history in his possession

“What?” Jason replied casually, unclear why they were looking at his phone like that “you have my phone no? Order your food” he said while getting back to the gun cleaining 

“Im- what is this?? Jason, be serious” y/n said, still absolutely rubbernecking at the phone. They went around the couch to look him in the eyes

Jason made a face “im being serious, order your food” he rolled his eyes at his partners ridiculousness. 

“Jason.” y/n gawped “look me in the eyes and tell me this is your actual primary cellphone.” they said, leaning down to look their boyfriend in his soul. Jason furrowed his brows

“Thats my phone. Why is this a big deal? I dont like apples and samsongs. Or whatever” Jason responds, puting down the half put together glock hes cleaning to cross his arms and lean back against the couch 

“My phone number is in this. You answer my texts from this thing??” they asked, still holding out hope this was a really stupid elaborate prank. From their boyfriend. Who had the driest sense of humor on the- okay yea he wasnt joking

“Yes??” he said incredulously, looking at his partener like they were being unreasonable. Actually- they were being unreasonable. It was a razr phone, not some far future star wars trans communicator. y/n needs a second to think about this

They plop themselves onto the couch next to their boyfriend, staring at the ceiling

“You really are a drug dealer” they murmured. Jason snorted

Jason snorted. “Below the belt” he retorts, snickering as he went back to his gun cleaning. Locked in. clear eyes, full hearts, cant lose.

“You need an actual phone” y/n states, like its the word of god. No protests will be tolerated, this studio apartment is not a democracy. Jason makes a face.

“I dont trust that shit” he murmured, continuing his surgical precision glock cleaning. y/n tilted their head

“Whys that?” they questioned. Jason scoffed, like its obvious

“ ‘don't want the government knowing my business” Jason loured

“Don't want-” y/n looked at him, in his soul “Jason. Whats a drivers license?”

Jason scoffed, smiling since hes won the argument now,in his own mind at least “i dont have one” he said triumphantly. y/ns eyes widened to the size of frisbees. They'd been in a car he was driving. Many times. Yesterday actually

“What the fuck d’you mean you dont have a drivers license??” “i never got one” he answered simply, like that was chill 

“Im- yes i get that. But you drive!” they argued, turning their body to fully face their insane boyfriend

“Well yea,obviously” jason rolled his eyes. y/n guffawed at him

“You're- a prolific criminal” they murmured, deciding not to question it anymore. He dresses up like red riding hood grew up and transitioned and got REALLY into body building. He used to kill people. Hes literally cleaning his multiple unregistered firearms in front of them. 

“Does the pope shit in the woods?” Jason retorts. y/n and jason stared at each other for a second 

“not what that means” “yea not what that means”

.𖥔 ܁ ˖ ✦ ‧₊˚ ⋅ fun with formatting! i like the coloured text but i wish the shades weren't so jarring. i also find the images incredibly annoying to format properly but maybe im just being dense i dunno. the drivers license bit was inspired by my co worker because she too doesn't have a drivers license and yet owns a car and drives it and isnt in jail yet. you go icon

also the term wife is used GENDER NUTREALY !!1! i wanted an actual gender neutral term for nuptial partner but nothing hits like wife does imo. anyways tysm for reading! i love you sleep well ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡ ༘

[zweetpea]

My Yandere batfam 10 years from the present canon of the story

Jason on the phone: Echo got into a fight?!

*20 minutes later Jason running down the halls to see her*

Jason: Echo! Echo!

Jason: *kneels to her height* Did you win or lose?!

Dick standing behind her as a "guardian" of sorts:

[cheese-vikings]

Dick seems like the particular flavor of neurodivergent that sleeps in the weirdest fucking places. As a little boy he slept snuggled between weird places like the drier and washer, eventually when he met Sitka he would sneak into her pen and sleep between hay stacks. After Bruce adopted him he had a bunch of new nooks, for instance the top shelf of his dresser or the weird beneath the stairs nook. After he went to titans tower he made himself odd books within his room instead of an actual bed cuz he knew he wouldn’t use it leading to the all too prevalent rumor that he didn’t sleep at all which many still believe to this day(neither him nor Bruce dispute it). When he moved to blud he slept under his bed in between furniture and eventually bought himself one of those sensory swings to nap in, leading him to the discovery that Ariel silks were a fun thing to chill in leading to the bats finding him napping in several odd positions several feet up in the air wrapped in silk insisting he was just fine. One day the other bats try it and Nightwing Batman and signal are the only heroes seen on patrol for several weeks. The activity is subsequently banned for all but dick, Bruce tried to put mats under it and a harness for added safety but every attempt leads to several more dangerous sleeping spots so he eventually gives up and now whenever the bats lose Grayson they check ceilings first

[acaciajules]

This isnt even close, nor should it be. Damian is the best!

[ffaelix]

Tim is typing furiously at his laptop when Damian walks in, holding a katana.

Damian: Drake, do you know what time it is?

Tim: not looking up Uh, noon?

Damian: Wrong. It’s time for you to perish.

Tim: still typing Can it wait until I finish this report for Bruce?

Damian: pauses …Very well. But know that your doom is imminent.

Five minutes later, Damian returns with snacks and silently places them next to Tim.

Tim: smirks Thanks for the snacks, future executioner.

Damian: huffs I refuse to let you die of starvation before I defeat you.

[strange-birb]

Some Wayne gala fits for the boys! I saw something similar by @fallen-jpg and wanted to do some of my own lol

Ps… I’m not good with backgrounds lol and I made Damian much older cause I didn’t want to draw a kid …

Part 2 !!!

[nefarious-616-necromancer]

[ccccchepushilo]

I imagine alfred combed all the robins' hair in the middle section since they were kids (and they're still doing it) only damian's the only one who's been able to escape this fate

[spicy-apple-pie]

Dick's puppy dog eyes are extremely powerful

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

best depiction of the batfam will always be "You grew up to be the person who would have saved you" but it applies to them each respectively and that's why none of them can see eye to eye and also get up their own asses about things and go to such great lengths to defend their personal brand of justice. Because they can never stop trying to save themselves from their own history.

[custardtartsfan]

Jason Todd head canons that have accumulated over time

many thoughts about the boy constantly rattle around my brain and i would like to share them ദ്ദി(ᵔᗜᵔ) nothing hanky panky ish for i do not like to think about that

general bullshit ᝰ.ᐟ

he doesnt trust modern technology. he has a Motorola razr. no he will not upgrade, stop asking

has VERY messy hand writing. straight chicken scratch. barley legible

smoked during his late teens (post resurrection period, he was going through it). tried quitting in his early twenties, he bought a menthol flavour geek bar but threw it out cause Roy made fun of him

it wasnt even one of the cool ones with a screen. smh

he has a weird nostalgic affection for the thrift

it reminds him of being a kid, in the rare moments that his mother was sober enough to take him somewhere. and it was nice, his mom was conscious, all was well

and he could get whatever he wanted! he wanted a toy? sure bud, its only a dollar. why the hell not?

he recently walked into a Goodwill and damn near burst an artery when he looked at the tag on a pair of pants. it was NOT like this back in his day

his hair is like wavy, like not curly but wavy. however, he has no idea how to really care for it. shits dry is what im saying

i think hes very competitive about stupid shit

not like he gets pissy about mario kart, he will race you to see who can fold their socks the fastest

largest of the batfam. vertically and horizontally. hes a beefy dude. a brick shithouse

i think hes also the kind of dude that needs to know someone very well before he could consider dating them. id even go as far to say hes somewhere on the aro spectrum

i think he has a very high spice tolerance. like youll pry his siracha out of his cold re-dead hands. he LOVES African curry (yes this one is based off me) thats like his perfect kind of spice

back to his hatred of technology, he collects cds to listen to instead of streaming

he has one of those hip disk players with the headphones. Red Hood has been seen with a walkman

also hates tv, but will watch the news willingly. he will sit down and watch Wolf Blitzer of his own accord

romantic (୨୧• ꒳ •)=:♡

remember when i said he has the handwriting of an 18 month old toddler? yea well thats a little unfortunate cause he LOVES leaving notes for his lover. when he has to slip out the window for a job in the middle of the night, he writes a little note - “had to take care of something, be back soon. with bagels. love, Jay :)” but its written so janky his lover is spending the whole time hes gone trying to decipher it

dont tell him that though, he might cry

hes not a talker particularly. words tend to come out wrong in his experience. instead, he likes gifts acts of service to show you he cares

shopping with him and youre eying a particular top for a while? guess what’s mysteriously appeared in your laundry basket

lowq doesn’t have motion though..soo it might have been Bruce card. but honestly? money is money who gaf

what he occasionally lacks in funds he makes up for in willingness to let you do whatever you want to him

he will waddle after you in sephora, freaking out the occasional employee cause holy FUCK who invited the punisher, letting you swatch whatever you want on his hand

if you’re concerned about the milk in the fridge being yuck, give it to him to taste. he’ll let you know

there is no mountain to high, no dubious forgotten leftover too unhappy looking

cannot cook for SHIT. but he loves to eat

he will mention wanting food and stare at you longingly until you go to the kitchen

hes not gonna be playing fortnite while you’re cooking though, he can chop stuff. you may not want him within 50 feet of a place where food is prepared but he will offer

bless his heart

runs hot like a furnace. probably because hes a large meaty boy

he will grumble like a pensioner when you tuck yourself into his chest at night when its cold, but we both know damn well hes gonna be giggling and kicking his steel toed boots when he tells Roy about it later

he had pretty mixed, strewing negative opinions, about his little white tuft of hair at the front. hes tried cutting it, it grew back the same. he bought box dye, it doesnt take. so hes stuck with it. and he cant say hes happy about it

until you came along, all full of love and life, telling him you loved it. you though it framed his face perfectly and suited him great. you and your fancy affection fuck you

(he was cheesing for hours)

okay lets get sad now

hes got BADD anxiety about hurting you without meaning to. its a reasonable concern, hes a big dude. and these hands dont do a lot of cradling as a rule, more beating heads in

he needs to be reassured, but would rather roll around in broken glass then swim in lemonade than let that be known. hes more of a stare at you until you sooth him

he likes to be kissed and cuddled and cared for. so what? hes only incredibly ashamed. it doesnt matter how many times you re iterate that he has no reason to be, hes a stubborn bitch

thats all ive got! i hope you enjoyed reading my real time jason todd related word association. most of these were typed in a fury on the mobile web app on the subway so..if the formatting is yucky thats up to god (-.-;)y-~~~

[poisonousliliy]

Damian's super power tbh

[tarta-de-limon]

Alright, but you're gonna keep the secret, right?