geeky-nightphilosopher

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Watching Gotham makes me believe that Alfred isn't getting paid enough to deal with Bruce's BS.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Alright. Okay. Listen. I KNOW I'm late to the Gotham train. Okay? I know I am.

Here's the thing, though (and please forgive me here if this is stupid, but again. Bear with me.) I'm watching this, and I can't help but think that in some alternate universe/ time line- Gotham is some sort of documentary series. Like maybe their celebrating Gotham's 230th year of being a city or something, and so they did this docu-series on Bruce and his growing up years. (Does that make sense?)

And because of that- I can't stop thinking how the batfamily reacts to each episode. (Given, I'm in season 1 still. But shut up.) How they react to seeing their dad as a boy instead of their father. And seeing Dick's parents young.

Here's some reactions:

Batkids: 😐😑😐

Selina & Bruce: 😬🫣

Jason: *to Alfred* Did he ever give you a raise for that? Because I would've demanded raise.

Damian: I don't know whether to be disappointed or- nope disappointed.

(The episode that Selina and Bruce were awkwardly flirting and Alfred had to witness it.)

-----

Tim: .... Jason, why don't you have that hood? I think it fits you better.

Jason: *throws a pillow at Tim*

(The Red Hood)

------

Duke: Oh, this explains your sense of style so much.

Dick: *throws a bowl of popcorn at him*

Damian: Ugh, your parents are no better at flirting then Father is.

Jason: *fist bumps*

Steph: Wait. Is nobody gonna talk about Leslie Thompkins being Babs mom?

Babs: *screeches*

(Fortune Teller)

-------

Cass: *signing* Did you have a crush on Ivy?

Bruce: No.

Cass: *narrows eyes*

--------

Batkids: *watching Alfred get stabbed* ALFRED NO!!

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

the R on robin's suit doesn't stand for Robin.

It stands for Replaceable.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

🦇Batfamily Conversations🦇

Dick: I told Roy I didn't mind wet socks -

Damian: I don't think I can talk to you anymore.

*next day*

Damian: *to the batfamily* Did you know that Dick likes wet feet?

*batfamily stops and looks at Dick*

Dick: *to Damian* Stop making me sound like a weirdo!

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Also. I'm sorry- are they really going to make me believe that the kid that's *suppose* to be the Joker came from the Haly's circus??

Okay, Gotham, sure.

Don't believe you. But okay.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I get it. I really, really do get why people love Gotham!

I mean, when they introduce Mary Lloyd and John Grayson to Leslie (and *technically* Jim Gordon,) how can I not love what that did!?!

The foreshadowing is amazing!

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Bat Family Mafia AU

a/n: I don’t know if anyone has done this before but I had this idea and I HAD to write it. Originally I planned a fic and had ideas for way more characters but I decided on a few headcanons (for now). I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it because PHEW I DID- this might be my favorite thing I’ve ever done

The Wayne Family has been a huge part of organized crime for generations; they rule over the shadows of Gotham with a firm yet fair hand. They have the city in their pocket, protecting those who need it and deliver cruel justice to those who wrong them.

Bruce Wayne is the Head of the Family. He grew in the position after the death of his parents. He keeps his persona as a businessman, running Wayne Enterprises as a front for the families illegal actions- it’s the worst kept secret in Gotham, yet nobody dares question the man himself. He’s elusive and distant, preferring to survey over the goings on of the city, only involving himself when things are taken too far…or if someone hurts his children.

Dick Grayson is the Public Figure. He’s loved by the citizens of Gotham for his friendly persona and mysterious ability to evade questioning. He knows the people and the people know him. Over the years, he worked his way up the police force and now has them all on the families payroll. In the criminal world, he’s renowned for his charm, feared for his temper and is fiercely protective over his younger siblings.

Barbara Gordon is the Information Broker. She found herself wrapped up in the business after an office romance with none other than Dick Grayson himself. She’s not an ‘official’ part of the family, however, she is offered full protection for her contribution towards their work. Babs serves as the backbone to the plots and plans of the more devious family members, never failing to pull through with the exact information needed.

Jason Todd is the Executioner. He is by far the most violent member of the gang; he has no problem truly embracing the life that his work has led him to. He’s the spearhead of the criminal side of operations, even though he often finds himself going against the families wishes. If people need to talk, Jason is the one they get sent to. He’s brutal and dreaded and emotional. He can very quickly be pushed over the edge into a place that even his siblings struggle to bring him back from- God help the person who puts him that way.

Cassandra Cain is the Hit(wo)man. She is the most secretive member of the family, most have only heard whispers of her in shady places- many doubt that she even exists. Whilst Jason deals with the more explicit targets, Cass works behind the scenes, getting rid of the people who need to disappear immediately. The majority of the time, most of the family can’t even keep track of her activities, but Cass always comes when she is needed.

Tim Drake is the Mastermind. Tim is the puppeteer of the group, always being sure to keep all the strings in hand and making sure the family always stay steps ahead of those who would try and bring them down. He manages the money, comes up with the schemes and helps Dick maintain the public favor. He’s cool and collected- aside from the undeniable sadistic streak that generally runs through his ideas. He’d deny it to his dying breath, but he’s rumored to have a romance with the daughter of a noteworthy enemy.

Damian Wayne is the Protégé. He’s the only biological child of Bruce Wayne; he has a reputation for being fearless and narcissistic despite his age. Much to his resentment, he’s relatively protected by his predecessors, still being trained by every member of the family in their various talents. Confidence is key; Damian knows he’s being trained to fill the boots of their father and run the family for the foreseeable future. He’s young but, make no mistake, deadly.

Alfred Pennyworth is the Butler. He keeps the family in check and knits them together when tensions are high and times get rough. In spite of their various personas, the rest of the family are all children in Alfred’s eyes and he’d defend them with everything he could muster. It’s rumored that Alfred himself has quite the extensive mafioso history, occasionally sharing nuggets of advice and stories of his time in the limelight. So help the person who tried to lay a hand on the man, there would be no mercy for the man that tried to take Alfred Pennyworth away from his family.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Watching Gotham makes me believe that Bruce Wayne would make such a great Mob Boss, and the Batfamily would make such a believable Family. (I'm obviously not the first to point this out, but I want to add my piece.)

Like, in my version of Mob! AU, Bruce still gains the kids the same way with a few tweaks. Like, after being threatened by Zucco, Mary goes to Bruce. She explains how Dick is actually his son. (I haven't figured out all subplot and holes for this, but yeah.) Dick becomes the Underboss (for now.) And how Dick finds Jason working for either Falcone or Moroni - and hates the idea of this kid being a pack mule, so he goes to his dad and mom (Selina) they get Jason outta Falcone/Moroni's hold. And Jason becomes an enforcer.

For a while, everything is great, easy. Alfred loves his grandkids. Gotham is blooming because Bruce has his hand in so much. Even though there are turf wars. (And yes, there's still Batman, Nightwing, and Robin.) It's easy. It's light. Jason doesn't even have to die.

It suddenly gets tense again when Jack and Janet come with Tim in toe. The young boy knows Wayne's secret. So, being stupid and desperate, Jack and Janet use it as blackmail. However, Jason, who always has his father's back, notices the way Tim flinches at Jack's movements. The way he's hunched in, when Janet places her hand on his shoulders. Jason doesn't like it.

Dick, who is standing on the other side of his dad, notices too, which means Bruce has noticed. Alfred waits patiently for the outcome. When Jack threatens Wayne Family, it's the last straw and without hesitation, Jason shoots both Jack and Janet.

Dick and Alfred clean it up.

Cass comes about three months after they gained Tim. The boys love Cass and she becomes the princess. Roles shift. Dick hands over the Underboss position to Tim and becomes a Consigliere (just like Alfred.) Jason and Cass are enforcers.

Here comes the tricky part. Steph shows up, unannounced, and finds out- kinda like Tim- whose who. Bruce puts Steph under his protection when he finds out that her father is after her.

Damian is next. After Jason and Tim caught word that Ra's was in Falcone's and Moroni. They asked Ra's to send Damian to assassinate Bruce. Ra's sends him, having no qualms about it. What Ra's didn't account for is that the Wayne Family is uber protective. It takes Dick, Tim, and Cass to stop Jason from pulling the trigger.

Dick explains to them he knows how the kid feels and takes Damian under his wing. Damian flourishes.

And the thing about the Wayne Family? They are so clean, that Lois Lane can't find anything on any of them. (And yes- Bruce owns the Daily Planet. And Gotham PD.)

*Note; I haven't figured out how to introduce Duke to the Family, so that's why he's not included... yet.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I want a fic where none of the JL believes that the batkids aren’t Batman’s biological children. There’s no way they can all be as creepy and broody and serious as him without being his offspring. It’s not possible.

And a select few being super adamant about it is how Batman finds out his kids are actually, in fact, his biological kids.

This leads to a full on, all out fight on the Watchtower. Every single batkid is shouting, arguing, yelling, screaming at Batman. Because it’s not true. It can’t be true. How the fuck did Batman not know this before the JL? Why are they finding out from a shitty presentation given by HAL JORDAN of all people?

It ends with Batman sprawled out in a chair, slumped so far down that his back is on the seat of the chair, his neck bent at a funny angle against the backrest, and he’s groaning.

“I regret being such a whore in my youth,” is all they can get out of him.

Tim, Jason, and Damian are all pretty easy to figure out how they’re his kids. He already knew about Damian of course, and Tim and Jason’s moms were both from Gotham it made sense.

It’s Dick who’s fully having a meltdown.

“WHEN DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY MOM? HOW DID YOU KNOW MY MOM? DID YOU MAKE HER CHEAT ON MY DAD? WHAT HAPPENED TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK?”

Bruce, whose head is spinning, vaguely remembers a very tipsy night he spent with a beautiful French acrobat. They’d both been 16, it was the summer. She said she was about to run away and join a different circus, she’d been perfecting her routines with the circus she was in with her parents, but they were stifling her creativity. This was her last night in Paris, and she wanted to spend it with the cute American boy who was there on vacation.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MOM?”

“I bought her fancy champagne and clapped when she showed me how bendy she was,” he groans.

Dick has a visceral, disgusted reaction. He flings himself back, Jason has to hold him up so he doesn’t fall, and then he launches himself back at Bruce to damn near strangle him.

“DON’T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!”

This is the worst day of Bruce’s life. Coincidentally, it’s the best day of Hal’s. He and Barry are eating popcorn.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Dick: our baby brother wants to show you his animals

Jason: and you better be nice!

Camera, pans to Damian standing next to a cow: this is my cow *holds up a cat* and this is Alfred, my cat

Dick and Jason: *standing behind him and staring menacingly into the camera*

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Conversations Overheard By Alfred:

*In the party room*

Wally: Wait. Wait. Wait.

*everyone looks over at Wally*

Everyone: What?

Wally: Is the Wayne deaths the only deaths not caused by the Butler?

Bruce:

Dick:

Jason:

Cass:

Steph:

Tim:

Duke:

Damian:

Roy:

Kon:

Jon:

Joker:

The JL:

The LoA:

Barry: 🤦‍♀️🫣

Alfred: *to Wally* It very might well be, Master Wallace. However, if one is not careful, one will die by a Butler's hand.

Wally: 😳

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Gotham is a genius for making Alfred deal with Bruce and Selina as angsty teenagers.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Correct me if I'm wrong here ( I'm only in season 1, episode 4) but the show Gotham is basically (essentially) telling me that Thomas and Martha Wayne died because they weren't Mob. Or at least owned by the Mob.

That's how I understand it, at least.

Also, full side/ literally is so far-fetched note; Fish Mooney tells one of her lackeys; "I need a weapon." And all I can think is,"I'm glad none of the Batkids were in her grasp because it would be terrifying what she's make them do."

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

The Guard and The Princess Masterlist → Currently on Hold

Masterlist

Knight!Jason Todd x Princess!Fem!Reader

Playlist

WC: 27,600 (atm)

All Warnings: mutual pinning, low spice, angst, small talk of homophobia, misogyny, child abuse, discrimination of status, mild-language, talk of assassination, jump cuts, violence, fluff, major character death, mild suggestive content

Synopsis:

The Princess of Noreska, the heir to one of the most powerful thrones in the world. Known for her beauty, elegance, and grace. Little do they know she is one of the most stubborn, unladylike, princess anyone has ever met. But, for some reason, her guard loves that about her, a grave mistake for the both of them. But what happens when she is going to debut into society and soon to be married? Especially when tension is already high with reports of anarchy to the crown.

Chapter Index:

Teaser || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Epilogue (wip)

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

I feel so cultured now. Having seen Batman Ninja vs. Yakuza League.

And by cultured, I mean I have no idea what was going on. But the storyline was good. Also, it could just be me- but I the animation didn't match the voices.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

Superman (2025) + Text posts

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

By some supernatural accident, Batman and Superman swap bodies. But the accident was just so embarassing that they collectively decided to NOT tell anyone about, and figure out how to reverse it all on their own. But, unfortunately, this means they now have to keep up this farce in front of their families

Clark, in Bruce's body, wiping some blood off his mouth and wincing at the 15 cracked ribs he now has: Guess I can bleed, huh

Dick, staring in disbelief after the patrol: YES OFCOURSE YOU CAN!? WHY THE HELL DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DIRECTLY ON TOP OF A GRENADE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce, in Clark's body, squinting at the bright smallville sun at the Kent farm: This is way too much for 11 am

Jon, staring at his newly grumpy dad: I think batman is a bad influence on you, dad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark in Bruce's body, staring at his reflection in the mirror: The shoulder to waist ratio is insane, such a grabbable waist

Poor Tim, who accidentally overheard this, getting ready to call Arkham: Uhuh it's definitely, insane

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kon: And so I said, ofcourse, i would love the soup-er salad!

Bruce in Clark's body, deadpan expression on his face:

Kon: Get it? Soup-er salad?

Bruce: Yes

Kon, sad puppy expression: You always laugh at soup puns :(

Bruce, now with an Extremely Forced little smile: Yes it was very....funny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Clark, in Bruce's body, rushing to hug a visibly bleeding Jason who walked into the cave after patrol: What happened?! Are you okay?

Jason, freezing up because the last time Bruce ran to hug him was, never:

Clark, immediately backing up, and speaking with a deliberately gruff voice: I mean. Is the blood yours? Son.

Jason:...no