#incorrect shazam quotes

[thebat-musicman]

Billy: It’s so annoying not being able to say my name.

Freddy: Yeah I bet that’s irritating. Would be a shame if you had to deal with that for SIXTY-NINE YEARS

[captian-sassy]

[lovesick-joey]

the people wanted more youtube worldbuilding ^^

one | three

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: His name is Billy Batson. Don't you find that utterly ridiculous?

Dick: No.

Damian: That's because your name is Dick.

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

I wonder if NASA and other space agencies in the DC universe pester the Green Lanterns for help

Like, they probably do that to Superman and Martian Manhunter too, but Clark and J’onn can at least say they don’t leave Earth very often (regardless of how true that statement may be for them). But the GLs can’t use that excuse because NASA knows they're the space cops

If the Justice League has contact information like a hotline or an email, you can bet your ass that NASA is blowing it up with stuff like "um excuse me mr. space policeman our rover got stuck on mars can you pwease dust her off so that her solar panels can work again??"

[smash cut to Hal in a maid dress cleaning Oppy with a construct of a feather duster]

[nosyrobin]

*The group is getting into the car*

Damian: I’m driving.

Wonderboy!reader, out of view: Shotgun!

Billy, turning to face reader: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except reader: WOAH-

Wonderboy!reader, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

[blue-drink]

He is baby

[In the DC Universe] Zeus: We're having a baby. Billy Batson: Oh, congratu— Hera, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

****************************************************

Extended version:

[the-fyre-flie]

EVEN MORE DAD!BATMAN AND ADOPTED!SHAZAM HCS!!! They are consuming my every waking moment.

Bruce limits when and where Billy can patrol and always assigns at least one of the batkids to come with. Not because Shazam can't handle himself, but because Billy is just a kid who shouldn't be alone fighting bad guys.

Bruce is trying to spend time with Billy, but compared to all his other kids, Billy is SUPER normal. He likes video games and comic books and stuff like that, and Bruce is like "... do you want a sword? A gun? Your own dragon? I can get you a dragon." And all Billy wants is to play monopoly without the rest of the family turning it into a mafia gang violence game using other game pieces.

Billy does poorly on a school assignment, but only because the teacher incorrectly graded it. Bruce shows up and absolutely chews out the teacher, all while Billy stands there embarrassed. Bruce slams his hands on the desk, and for a split second, Billy is realizing why everyone is terrified of Batman.

[worksandmusings]

Billy aka Shazam aka Captain Marvel: ...Hello.

Danny aka Danny Phantom aka Ghost King: Sup.

[satoshy12]

Zeus: "Billy, my boy, I've decided to teach you a new style of fighting to better equip you against the villains you fight on Earth." Billy: "Awesome! What is it?" Zeus: "It's called Pankration, and it will make you a formidable opponent. Better than just using my lightning or normal attacks." Billy: "Holy moly! I'm ready to learn!" Zeus: Chuckles "Oh, you have no idea what you're in for, Billy.

[if-you-like-pina-colada-s]

Bruce, walking into the manor: Hello people who do not live here.

Clark: Hi :D

Diana: Hey!

Oliver: 'sup man

Dinah: yo

Hal: Hiii

Barry: Heyo

Arthur: wassup

Billy: Hey

Bruce: Why are you here??

Barry, mouth full of doritos: We ran out of doritos

----

Bonus:

Bruce: Alfred, why the hell did you let them in??

Alfred, casually having tea w J'onn, whose just happy his son has friends: They ran out of doritos master Bruce, what was I to do? Let them starve??

Bruce: >:(

[captian-sassy]

Freddy: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t been arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.

Billy: Nat 20 charisma.

Freddy: That is NOT how that works.

[ticklet0d]

Billy: If I were a magic wizard I wouldn't harm people when they pissed me off. I'd just put these really fucked up random curses on them, like every time they saw a school bus they would shit their pants or every time someone said the word "Thursday" they would pretend they were a dragon for 20 seconds.

Freddy: I think you would be a very good wizard.

[incorrectbatfam]

imagine Batman had to take care of the rest of the Justice League members after a magic user turned them into toddlers/ kids

Bruce: *warms Clark's bottle*

Bruce: *sets Diana in a playpen*

Bruce: *burps Hal*

Bruce: *changes Ollie's diaper*

Bruce: *puts Barry on a child leash*

Bruce: *gives Arthur a bath*

Bruce: *puts J'onn in a Martian onesie*

Bruce: *gives Vic a green teddy bear*

Bruce: *sings Dinah a lullaby*

Bruce: *plays peek-a-boo with Zatanna*

Bruce: *holds a baby photoshoot for Carter and Shayera*

Bruce: *downloads Little Einstein for Ray*

Bruce: *puts an iPad in front of Ted*

Bruce: *starts training Billy to be Robin*

[later, back to normal]

Ollie: We're gonna pretend we don't remember all that?

Everyone: Yep.

[shortnsweetsposts]

Wonder!reader: She's gonna be one of the smartest girls there. Lizzie, what's the square root of 64?

Lizzie: 8!

Jon, Billy, Dick and a few other hero friends: *Clapped and Cheered*

Damian: Nice trick. Hey, Lizzie, what's the square root of this potato? *Holds up a half eaten potato*

Lizzie: 8!

Damian: Congratulations, you have a parrot.

Jon, Billy and Dick: 😬

Wonder!reader:

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Aftermath for that one episode of JLU, Clash

Superman: I feel… bad about what happened.

Captain Marvel: So, you’re apologizing?

Superman: Yes, I’m sorry

Captain Marvel: Ok, I don’t forgive you.

Superman: Billy, I said I’m sorry

Captain Marvel: Yeah, and I do not forgive you.