#fun-incorrect-quotes

[therentyoupay]

OK OK OK I JUST TOTALLY THOUGHT OF THIS PET NAME ON THE SPOT HAVK CALLING ELSA “SNOW BUNNY” 🥹

kris' thoughts: i also love this one because my now-husband used to jokingly call me this 😂 it's not in the usual repertoire, but was a fun one that he would break out every once in a while when we did winter activities! and of course, "bunny" makes me think of Bunny, and oh no, do i make this drabble exist within the same universe as "snowpea????" oh no

oh no

i have turned this into another WIP

i have turned this into a christmas!fic

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❆ snow bunny ❆

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It was nearing the end of Bunny's turn on the Elsa Rotation.

(Which Toothy called, "Onboarding," and North called, "Initiation," and for which Sandy conjured a hand-in-hand SnowQueen-and-SandMan duo, and which Bunny called, "Annoying."

But the Kangaroo was clearly full of it, because he'd returned from his last three shifts smiling wider and wider, and for the last week or so, Elsa was now calling him Aster and he was calling her Icepop—and she wasn't even so much as side-eyeing him for it.)

The Guardians didn't need to be in the Workshop for the Handoff (which Toothy called, "Shift Change," and North imperiously called, "The Passing of the Initiate," and which Sandy demonstrated with a giant frowny face, and Bunny called, "Off the Hook, Finally"), but North insisted that all changing of Elsa's Guardians happen "at home." North never bothered to explain himself, but Toothy whispered in Jack's ear during a gathering one night, "after everything that's happened, he just likes it when we're all together," and Jack didn't have it in him to mess with him anymore—well. Not on that point, anyway.

So, Jack was lounging on the seat by one of the windows in the main workroom, staring out at the Arctic and listening to the elves furiously build and paint and conduct quality assurance for the endless conveyor belts of toys—waiting for a rainbow-ish portal to appear with his (Un)Willing Charge ready to move from the Kangaroo's supervision to his. Jack waited on the ceiling. He sprawled on the floor. He hung from the rafters by his knees.

"JACK, MY BOY," boomed North from the floor below. A few of the elves closest by flinched and jumped, then kept working steadily on. Jack twisted to face him, but did not come down. "COME, MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL WHILE YOU WAIT FOR ELSIE."

"Yeah, sure," Jack grinned down, not bothering to pretend that he didn't hear him; North would only get louder. He raised his voice, though none of the elves flinched: "Not super enticing, old man!"

"I WILL TELL YOU SECRET."

Jack peered down suspiciously... but he couldn't resist.

"Ugh, fine," and dropped endless meters to the luxurious red rug, landing silently on his bare feet. "What level secret?"

"Level four," North winked, and walked to the back of the room.

"Huh. That's it?"

"Jack, you should really learn to negotiate—like our newest member!—before you accept so easily!"

The quick quip died on his tongue; instead, Jack settled for looking deeply unimpressed as North led him to the large window overlooking the glacial cliff face... but then didn't bother to indicate anything of note outside the window.

"You're being awfully sketchy for a level four?" Jack leaned on his staff, purposefully looking bored; in reality, this was a lot more interesting than hanging from the ceiling, but Jack had to keep North's enthusiasm in check sometimes.

Case in point���North's uproarious laughter carried through the large room (an elf flinched from ten meters away). "Jack, jack, my boy—do you not see what the elves are working on in the fifth-level office space down below?"

"Super clear instructions, old man, thanks—oh. What the—you hire some office admin or something? You're making Tilly do your paperwork too?"

A small team of elves—some familiar, some not—were clearly visible in the distant window of the fifth-level private office space. Their door was heavily guarded by two Yeti. They appeared to be furiously scribbling on scrolls, as well as a massive board behind them, but the board was mostly obscured by something, by—

"Are you using magic to conceal that?" Jack asked, aghast. He swiveled his head, suspicious. "That is not level four."

"No," North's eyes sparkled. "It is not."

But before Jack could pry any further, a tell-tale whoosh of energy signaled the incoming influx energy from altering time and space, and Jack knew his time was up. Well, he braced himself. Here goes.

Jack watched as Bunny and Elsa stepped out from the portal— laughing about something, no less—together—when North hinted, like a parting shot, "Christmas is not just about giving to children. Sometimes, it is about us, too."

"Yeah, man, I know, you're literally the one and only Santa."

"Am I?" North asked, with a glint in his eye, and hey, mischief was his job, there was no need for anybody else to start infringing upon his territory—

"Well, Frostbite, hope you're ready!" Bunny called to where Jack and North were standing, still near the window on the far side of the room. For someone who claimed that he hated "Babysitting," he seemed to be in an awfully good mood.

Jack leaned on his staff, smirking as Bunny and Elsa strolled up. North was doing his typical greeting, but Jack wasn't really paying attention: the portal still shimmered faintly behind them, casting rainbow hues on the workshop floor, until it blinked out of existence in a whisper of Time and Space—but the glow remained.

She glanced at Jack, and Jack forced his grin to stick in place.

"How was babysitting him, Elsa?" Jack called out, to which the Kangaroo rolled his eyes—and, unfortunately, so did Elsa. Determined not to be swayed, Jack leaned harder on his staff, and added, "Terrible? Boring?"

“Sounds like we could use a little de-Frost-ing around here,” he muttered.

But Jack's clever comeback was lost when Bunny turned fully toward Elsa, slinging out an arm to conjure up another portal in the same step. "Good luck with this one, Elsa. Remember what I said."

To Jack's dismay, she grinned up at him in playful annoyance. "How can I forget?"

Said? Said what?

"Right on. See ya, Icepop. North. Frosty."

And Bunny saluted his way into the portal, leaving behind the bustling Workshop, and three Guardians standing around—two, in awkward silence.

"Well, well!" North grinned wide, jamming his fists into his hips and puffing out his chest. "Our Elsie returns at last? Learned a bit more about Hope, we hope?"

Elsa smiled politely, but there was genuine warmth in her eyes. "We Believe so."

"Ah, clever, very clever—well, Jack, 'tis time. No Funny business!" his laughter cut off anything Elsa or Jack could have possibly said. "Get it? Funny business? OKAY, you two—enough standing around, get to work! Off with you!"

Jack looked to Elsa as if to commiserate as he pulled out the snow globe and tossed it to the floor, thinking of the mid-atlantic and how it was way overdue for a cold wave... but her polite mask was still plastered onto her face. Great.

"Have Fun, you two!" North called as Jack and Elsa stepped through the portal, and Jack didn't even have time to twist around and call out, That's my job! before he was stumbling onto the cold, green grass of an empty soccer field. Unfortunately, he'd miscalculated this landing a little bit, but Elsa had been paying better attention to the ground that he had. Jack only let one foot touch the grass before he floated himself up, hovering, like that had been his plan all along.

Jack hovered above the frostless soccer field, arms crossed and staff balanced against his shoulder. The grass was too green, the air too warm, and the whole place practically begged for a proper coating of snow. He’d been hoping to impress Elsa—show her the magic of bringing winter to life—but her blank expression didn’t exactly scream enthusiasm.

“Well,” Jack started, breaking the awkward silence. “It’s December twelfth, and they haven’t even had so much as a flurry yet. About time to give them a little blanket, don’t you think?”

After a beat, Elsa gave a polite nod, stepping forward. Her movements, as ever, were elegant, precise, and calculated; with a graceful wave of her hand, the sky above turned a muted gray, clouds gathering in soft, unhurried swirls. Moments later, snowflakes began to fall—each one pristine, symmetrical, and utterly perfect.

It rubbed him the wrong way.

She was checking boxes on a to-do list. The snow fell exactly as Elsa intended—no surprises, no quirks, no playful gusts of wind to scatter the flakes. No spontaneity. Artistry, sure. Beauty—no question.

But very little heart.

His fingers itched to create some flakes and frost of his own, but he held back, waiting for Elsa to take the first round. He'd also been hoping that today would be different—she was warming up to everyone else, right? Why not let loose a little?

She does with Bunny, but he stamped down the thought.

“You’re efficient,” Jack said after a moment, his voice light but probing. “I’ll give you that.”

She paused, looking at him out of the corner of her eye with her hands still poised toward the sky. “Is that intended as a compliment?”

“Sure,” Jack replied, spinning his staff. “But, uh, where’s the magic?"

Elsa stared, hands still raised, as snow miraculously descended from the heavens unto the earth.

"I mean—" Jack hated this, hated being flustered. "The spontaneity? The chaos? You know?”

Elsa turned fully to face him, lowering her arms, her expression neutral, but her incredulity—her skepticism, and still, after all these weeks, she didn't trust him—clear in her voice.

“Chaos?” she raised a brow.

Jack grinned, refusing to be discouraged. “You’re creating, but you’re still not... creating. You can, y'know—play. Uh. A little."

He might as well have grown two heads, the way she was looking at him. Jeez. How was he supposed to teach Elsa, of all people, how to be Fun—especially when she always seemed so determined not to enjoy herself with him? North had been so mum on her backstory, and he was certain that Toothiana had lured it out of her—and maybe even the Kangaroo, by now, a tiny little voice of Doubt whispered, before he squashed it—but she couldn't have despised fun in her previous life?

Could she?

But then, at last, Elsa finally lowered her hands. The snow continued to fall in fat, heavy chunks, a soft hush upon the playground and the streets and the little nearby houses; however, he could feel heat arising from Elsa's stare, and the ever-so-slight slant of defensiveness in the line of her stance.

"I 'play'," Elsa insisted, eyeing him hard, and there was just something about the super regal, hoity toity tone that got under his skin, and he was pretty sure she didn't even realize she was doing it. "Mine just looks different than yours."

Jack, half-desperately, refused to ask her what her idea of play looked like; until he realized that, perhaps, that was exactly what he should do.

"Oh?" Jack spun his staff behind his back, leaning back as he gazed up at the white sky and sidled up beside her, purposefully not looking at her face. "Care to demonstrate?"

"Our senses of humor slightly differ," she pointed out, voice drier than the air, but at least now they were getting somewhere.

"Okay...? Care to enlighten me, then?"

Elsa blinked her disbelief at him, clearly not appreciating his challenge. Jack held back his grin as he lowered his chin, finally facing her.

"So?" he challenged.

Elsa fixed him with a steady, unimpressed look. "Aren't you supposed to be the one Mentoring me?"

Jack’s grin widened as he leaned closer, spinning his staff lazily behind his back. “Doesn’t hurt to see what I’m working with, Snow Bunny.”

Elsa deadpanned. "Not this again."

“You’re stalling,” he shot back, gesturing to the snow-covered field with a sweeping motion. “Come on, let's go find some kids—show me your version of ‘play.’ Or do I have to do all the work around here?”

Elsa’s careful expression didn’t falter, but he caught the faintest flicker of exasperation in her eyes.

"Why are you calling me that?"

Instead of answering, he simply pointed out, “Better than Snow Buns.”

Elsa shot him a sharp look, the kind that could freeze an ocean solid. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh, wouldn’t I?” Jack teased, spinning his staff lazily. He floated a few feet off the ground, and swirled around her, forcing her to follow him with her gaze; he liked doing that a little more than he should. “Snow Bunny’s way more flattering, don’t you think?”

Elsa exhaled sharply, the faintest puff of annoyance escaping her lips. “How about no names at all?”

“Sure,” Jack said, grinning wider now. “I’ll just call you Your Majesty from now on. Real casual.”

But the slant of her brow told him that maybe—maybe—he'd misstepped.

“Jack—”

“Relax, Snow Bunny," he played it off like he'd never seen the flinch on her face. "It’s a compliment,” he said, though his grin didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Fresh off your Hopeful adventure with the Easter Bunny himself, no?”

(What had Bunnymund said to her?)

Elsa’s brow furrowed slightly, and Jack wondered if she was actually reading his mind. He knew he was playing it a little too close—pushing her patience—

But the sound of laughter interrupted them. The snowflakes had done their job; they summoned the children out of their homes for the first taste of snow, in the white-purple glow of a snow-filled afternoon, and suddenly there is commotion. A cluster of kids had burst onto the playground nearby, bundled in cozy in their winter gear, their faces lighting up at the sight of the fresh snow. They must not have Believed in them yet, for no one seemed to notice the two Guardians on the field; Jack clicked a quick alert through the Snow Globe, signalling the North Pole. Ah, great. iPad kids, Jack sighed. Time for the elves to launch some new folktale storybook apps. The snow globe chimed with a shimmering chirp: Request Received!

The kids tumbled into the field, throwing hastily made snowballs and twirling under the falling flakes, plopping to the ground to make preliminary snow angels in the meager first two inch of snow. Without thinking twice about it, Jack flicked his hand and sent a push to the skies, sending the snow down faster, filling the playground just a little bit quicker.

Jack caught Elsa’s eye, and for a moment, something softened in her expression, before she planted another frown. Jeez. He could never do anything right.

"If you make the snow fall too fast, it will be dangerous," she warned. Well, Jack didn't really do too well with warnings.

"Most people are already home from work," he pointed out, and if his grin was a little bit fixed and his voice was a little bit strained, then so be it. "It's Friday. They have plows."

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn’t immediately retort. Instead, she watched the children as they laughed and rolled in the snow, their shouts of joy filling the air; skepticism oozed from her every perfect pore.

But then Jack noticed the way her gaze softened for just a moment, though her expression quickly returned to its carefully composed neutrality. He practically had whiplash.

"Alright." She turned to face him fully. "What's next?"

Jack couldn't resist the way his body nearly slumped in dismay. It never ends! His grin came out lopsided, and she could tell. She's never satisfied!

And she still hadn't risen to his challenge—hadn't taken the bait—

Jack suddenly scoffed a laugh, a totally involuntary reaction to too much tension, and dropped to the ground in front of her, his staff thrown out to his side as he sprawled along the ground and directed his impatience at the sky.

"Fine. Go! Go do your thing without me!"

He could hear her disapproval. "You're... sending me off alone?"

"That's what you want, isn't it?" and as soon as he said it, he knew it must be true; she was suspiciously thoughtful and silent in response. Jack resisted the urge to sigh. Or roll his eyes. "Like, obviously, don't leave. But I'm not gonna be hovering over your shoulder or whatever. For real, Elsa—if you’re going to stick with this whole Guardian gig, you’ve got to loosen up. You’re part of a team. And part of the job? Is this." He gestured staff out wildly, in what he hoped was the general direction of the kids, who appeared to now be attempting to build a misshapen snow fort.

Elsa’s gaze lingered on the scene, and for a moment, Jack thought he saw a flicker of something unguarded—something wistful. "I’m... trying," she said quietly, almost too softly to hear.

That took the wind out of his sails. For a second, he didn’t know what to say, but then a grin broke out on his face again, a little softer this time. He lifted his head so he could see her expression.

"Trying’s good," he added, trying to be encouraging.

Elsa sighed, the barest hint of exasperation crossing her face. But then, with a graceful wave of her hand, she sent a perfectly formed snowball hurtling through the air, catching Jack squarely in the face.

He fell back in exaggerated shock, clutching his nose and cheek with one hand, with a completely dignified yelp. "Agh—not the face!"

But Elsa said nothing. She did, however... was that a smirk? Was that an actual, honest-to-goodness smirk on her face?

Toward him?

And she took off to the playground, abandoning Jack on the ground in the snow. He yelled after her.

"Okay! Fine! Snow Bunny’s got jokes!"

"Do not call me that!"

Jack barked a laugh, still lying sprawled in the snow as Elsa left him, arms flung wide as snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky above. For a fleeting second, he felt something warm stir in his chest, something like satisfaction—or maybe even pride. Victory. (Not that it was a competition with Bunny—or anything.)

After all, getting Elsa to smile—to smirk, no less—was no small feat. He found himself staring at the soft flakes floating down, wondering if maybe he might not have made just a teensy bit of progress today... He might even go so far as to say he Hoped.

Nah.

For a while, Jack stayed that way, basking in the What Ifs. On a pure impulse, he sent a rapid gust of wind swirling past her with a flick of his staff—tugging at her hair and cape. Her head turned just slightly, the faintest flicker of annoyance, like swatting a fly, but Jack only grinned back, and laughed, and let himself plop back down into the snow.

He listened to the children laugh and squeal in delight in the not-so-distance. On another whim, he stretched out his limbs and made a snow angel in the three inches beneath him.

“Yeah,” he said to himself softly. Not Hope. “Progress.”

❆ ao3

[demonicsuffrage]

The justice league sees Batman periodically updating a database of his, at the oddest of times, and naturally they think it's got something to do with his contingency plans or a dataset about the Gotham rogues, but in reality it's just him keeping record of his many children's changing tastes

Superman: Woah, he's writing down with such concentration, wonder what could be in there, maybe a new villain in Gotham?

Bruce, writing: "Dick has refused his favourite Pb&J five mornings in a row. Delete from favourites. Ask for new favourite food."

"Jason didn't seem as Eager to read the new book by his favourite author, put it in neutral category."

"Tim chose a green shirt instead of a red one at the mall today. More research needed."

"Cass listened to arctic monkeys on repeat this week. Update to favourites."

"Duke expressed an interest in slam poetry and called band practice lame. Put poetry in favourites and band in neutral."

"Damian watched Bluey for a total of 50 hours this week. Update to favourites."

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jason: Where are my fucking guns?!

Bruce: Language!

Jason: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking guns?!

[percythejedi]

never made one of these before but it seemed fun ^_^

[fanaticalthings]

the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

[protagaster]

Penelope: I think I’m in love with Odysseus…

Ctimene: ...

Penelope: Any thoughts?

Ctimene: And prayers. You’re going to need them.

[malpractisnt]

[im-still-watching-anime]

apollo’s confidence in court: oh my god i’m the worst lawyer ever my client is going to go to JAIL because i can’t even do my JOB

apollo’s confidence outside of court: i’m the only smart one here, i’m the most normal guy in the world and NO ONE is doing it like i am, investigations are EASY, klavier gavin wants me carnally

[cultivateme]

[kolbalissh]

f1 as more textposts because i love to procrastinate part 2/?

[arrowmaker15]

(Red Hood and Spoiler extracting Red Robin after HE was dosed with truth serum)

Red Hood: Come on, Replacement.

Spoiler: He's surprisingly heavy. I thought he would be lighter.

Red Robin, wistfully: I miss Kon. It's been awhile.

Red Hood: I bet it has, buddy.

Red Robin: I love his jacket. Oh my god! His jacket is so hot. Makes me melt.

Spoiler: Is this how he felt when he had us?

Red Hood: Maybe?

Red Robin: And his tongue-

*Spoiler and Red Hood both cover his mouth)

Spoiler: We need to apologize for thinking he was exaggerating what you got from someone on truth serum.

Red Hood: Yeah, we do.

[therentyoupay]

I JUST SAW YOUR REPOST OMG YOURE A SWIFTIE TOO?? 🤩🤩🤩🤩

I AM!! although i must admit i am a low-key swiftie; i listen to my favorite songs regularly and i know all the words to all the top hits and i made friendship bracelets for the eras movie showing and i made a flower crown at a 1989 TV listening party, but i have never been to a concert, i don't own any merch (apart from an 87 Kansas City sweatshirt with SWIFT on the back instead of KELCE), and i don't know all the words to all the songs! i do follow along with some of the clowning on tiktok though 😂

BUT fun fact: the extremely talented artist/writer/novelist/cosplayer you reblogged all the gorgeous taylor fanart from actually started a Taylor Swift!AU for hellcheer/Stranger Things!!

Poprocks by Aicosu for therentyoupay | Stranger Things (TV 2016)  

When his metal bandmate Gareth drags Eddie Munson to a fucking Chrissy Doll concert he doesn't expect to like it. Or get in a fight. Or to go viral on social media. Or to date her in a fake-relationship PR protective stunt. AKA the Taylor Swift au.

(and conversely snow globe is gifted to @aicosu 😂💕)

GO ENJOY ✨

[sistertotheknowitall]

Jason: Thou looks and smells of an unwashed mutt of female persuasion and so does thy lover.

Steph: You’re a bitch and so’s your man.

Tim: …… Okay, but why’s he speaking like that?

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

*Jason and Stephanie shopping*

Stephanie: Can I get a silenced pistol?

Jason: If there’s one on sale.

[bizarrelittlemew]

ofmd x tumblr

[disaster-magician]

Angsty teenage shenanigans have me so hyped

(Fake screenshots! These are fan made based on incorrect quotes and not in the game)