#james wilson

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

just started watching house and I thought yall were exaggerating but no. every episode is just like three wrong diagnoses that almost kill the patient and then house is like "he has underwater skunk herpes" and they give the guy a new butthole and he's cured. and then house chugs vicodin while talking about wanting to rail wilson.

[12doomed]

damn…

[nortism]

If House came out in the 2020s there would absolutely be an episode where House steals a vape from a teenage patient with the intent of mocking them and ends up getting really into it. Cuddy tries to stop him from vaping in the hospital but it turns out there’s a loophole in the anti smoking rules that mean e-cigs aren’t technically banned.

While Cuddy is on a mission to fix the rules, House is collecting the grossest, sweetest vape flavours he can find. Foreman’s pissed because House keeps blowing smoke in his face, Chase finds this really funny and Cameron is unsuccessfully trying to stage an intervention. Wilson just puts his hands on his hips and asks that House refrains from vaping in front of his lung cancer patients.

Somehow the episode ends with the reveal that cotton candy vape juice was the only thing keeping the patient alive and House’s vaping habit was actually genius medical research. Cameron and Wilson are relieved House doesn’t actually have a new addiction. Episode ends with House taking one last puff of his vape and then going to put in it the bin before reconsidering and pocketing it. This is never brought up again

[my-lover]

truly nothing about house md prepares you for wilson. he's fucking insane. he's been divorced three times. he's the only person who can scheme just as well as house. he gives a patient his own liver bc he felt bad for him - a patient who didn't even know wilson's name. btw. he noticed a patient had depression bc he never mentioned his grandkids. he starred in a porno. he dosed house with antidepressants for several weeks. he allowed his boybestie and his gf to share custody of him and didn't even try to stop it. house told him to buy a piece of furniture that represented who he was, and he bought a $4000+ organ for house. he was gonna torpedo his career to talk abt euthanasia bc one of his patients suffered longer than he had to. he let house move into his 1 bed apartment bc his therapist thought it'd be a good idea. this man would do anything for anybody if they let him. he'd fucking quit his job to save a snail off the sidewalk. bro is not normal in the slightest

[here4thetrama]

That's his job

Hey folks I’m watching House. I’m about 7 episodes in. When will they explain why Wilson follows House around like the specter of a dead wife determined to keep her widowed husband interested in living?

[deepseastranger]

[kuuwo]

Good Boy

[greghatecrimes]

House drugged that coffee btw

[niktoneb]

@psychosplit-original

I feel like if Hanahaki disease was real in the House MD universe there’d be a whole episode about them treating a patient with it and they like lie or some shit about not telling so and so about their love or like the person they love is dead or something and so they try to cure them another way and the whole time House is like being a dick as always and making fun of them for it and like haha you won’t tell them you love them loser and then at the end of the episode the person the patient loves comes in at the last minute when the patient is on the brink of death and they confess and so the patient lives and gets a happy ending but then Wilson talks to House and says something like “the lengths people would go to to avoid rejection” and House would respond like “yeah these idiots would risk their lives just to not get their stupid feelings hurt” and then Wilson leaves and literally right after he’s gone House coughs up a few petals and barely reacts and just throws them into the trash or a fireplace or something and walks out into the hallway and the episode ends and it’s literally never brought up again

[semiohazard]

this scene was so funny. wilson beckoning house back over like a dog. house folding immediately. all while wilson is laser-focused on rolling the world's most mediocre joint

[12doomed]

heart 4 brains

[puckspoetry]

POV: you wake up from a mouse bite induced coma

[niktoneb]

@psychosplit-original

I need them to do a reboot of House but I want them to just go fucking wild with it. Everyone's gay, everyone's fucking. House, Wilson, and Cuddy are in a toxic polycule, one that definitely violates work ethics, that ends when Cuddy cheats on them with Cameron. I want it to be just as homophobic, just as ableist, just as fucked up, as the original and yet have the characters all be so fucking woke. Same episodes with the same plots but modern. I want Chase to have an onlyfans.

[semiohazard]

this specific expression Wilson makes whenever House is talking and accidentally admits to something deeply distressing is so funny. psychiatrist stare

[12doomed]

ur holy to me