#coping with mental illness

[dapperinsanity]

To other people who have BPD like me, how did you cope or manage with having a favorite person? Specifically coping with emotions?

[bread-tab]

[Recording internal dialogue]

Prediction.Algorithm Output: My immediate future is looking All Fucked Up.

"It's my own fault for overdoing it yesterday, I am so unreliable, I'm going to get fired—"

Destructive train of thought identified. Redirect.

"The smartest thing to do right now would be calling in. I'm already very late, and resting in the meantime has not decreased my pain levels. This doesn't happen unless I'm genuinely in serious physical or mental distress."

Premise accepted.

"I've been in distress too often recently."

Objection irrelevant. Dismissed.

"I don't want to call in."

Emotional obstacle identified: Anxiety.

Analyzing inputs from AnxietyTrigger matrix, indexing: [

0 {"phone call", mild},

1 {"disappointed authority figure", severe},

2 {"disappointed self", moderate}

]

Trigger items {0, 2} exported to UseYourSkills.DistressTolerance queue. Deferred.

Trigger item 1 identified as hypothetical. Applying stored principles from coping modules.

Loading Social.AnxietyDiffusion method...

Output: "Give people the chance to be kind to you."

Risk assessment: 15% chance of failure.

Loading Bribe.DopamineReward method...

Output: "If you make that phone call, you can have a cookie. And get that Murderbot audiobook you want."

Parameters within acceptable range.

Generating new Plan {

Make phone call.

Acquire items ["audiobook", "cookie"].

Consume items.

}

Prediction.Algorithm Output: My immediate future is looking okay.

Initializing Plan...

...

...

...

[External dialogue]

*ringing*

"Hey! What's up?"

"Hey boss... Uh... I'm feeling sick."

"Got it. Well, go get some rest and feel better."

"Thanks."

[External dialogue ends.]

...

...

...

Plan executed successfully.

Editing risk assessment parameter: Social.Anxiety/kindnessChance {failure rate}

Value = 15%

Value = 12%

Changes saved.

[Internal dialogue ends. Archived to TimesYouDidntSuckAtLifeAfterAll.database]

[n0anix]

whatever *domesticates your Carnivàle Lecroux*

[insaneinpink]

⋆｡‧˚ʚ🎀ɞ˚‧｡⋆

[kiindr]

friendly reminders:

you don't have to be productive every day

you are worthy even if all you did today was get out of bed

there are people out there who care about you

your existence makes a difference

if something bothers you, then it bothers you. no one has the right to tell you otherwise

you are allowed to take up space

there is no 'right way' to grieve

you cannot put a time limit on emotions

your likes and interests are valid and they matter

it's okay to take your time in doing things. not everyone can do everything at the same pace

[carnage-cathedral]

softness is a privilege that some take for granted.

kink/porn/sexually centered blogs please stop interacting with this post. your content is triggering and I don't want my art posted alongside it

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[copperbora]

My Mom Officially Made it to February 2023! HUZZAH!

She just keeps beating the horrible doctor predictions regarding her survival.❤️ She's like the Secretariat of cancer patients.

Half a week into going on ADHD meds I don't really feel too much different - maybe slightly less helter-skelter mentally. (Honestly I can't believe that I only started them last Saturday because life just moves slower when you are a caretaker to a critically ill and beloved parent.) It's still early days with this medication but so far I have observed:

- Literally no more energy. These drugs are supposed to be a stimulant equal to four cups of coffee. Instead, I feel slightly sleepier, if anything. The first day I took them I passed out on the couch and slept until lunchtime. I don't even remember my visiting brother J leaving!

- The drugs make me slightly nauseous by the end of my work shift. I can deal with slightly nauseous.

- I'm still distracted as heck. Squirrel!

That being said I had a marvelous epiphany today that the reason why cleaning (at home*) is literal hell for me is because of the ADHD, which would much prefer literally any other activity. Thank goodness for distractions like Youtube, podcasts and audiobooks which make such tasks bearable for my crazy little miswired neurodivergent brain. Today I read in the textbook that I am studying, Taking Charge of Adult ADHD (by Russel A. Barkley PhD,) that we ADHDers are impulsive beings and that this is often what gets us into serious trouble (also our coon hound-like brains which want to identify EVERY SINGLE DISTRACTION.) Like speeding tickets, serious injury, and, well, you know - death. Looking around at the several questionably stupid purchases which I made last year (being a well paid courier would have been great for destroying my debt - had I not been afflicted with ADHD,) I can definitely see that, yeah, I really need to work on the impulse control. My itch to practice a bit of mild retail therapy definitely is not helped by:

- The fact that I grew up dirt poor. There was a couple of years where every supper featured plain rice. I'm only just recovering my liking for the stuff!

- The fact that up until recently all my jobs were retail and featured truly craptastic pay.

- The fact that I am stressed out of my mind from being a caretaker to a very sick loved adored parent.

Those are my excuses. I will master this so that I don't blurt them anymore; my future happiness needs it. (I'm thinking... letting myself have an allowance. A very small allowance. Like $20.)

I'm really damned grateful that I do live with my parents because if I didn't I'd probably be dead. Plus, I wouldn't get to look after my mom, and I wouldn't be able to work just part time.** Part time is at least paying my bills even if it isn't doing much to slay my college debt. Eventually, I tell myself, I will be able to move out and get a dog. And go on international adventures like finishing the Scottish National Trail. Eventually.

______________________________________

*I clean apartment buildings for a living. It's only doable with the magic of the previously mentioned interesting audio distractions.

**I'm glad it's only part time because I don't have enough energy for full time. Perhaps if it was less boring and I wasn't also a full time unpaid caretaker. (Except I am paid - in treats - which miraculously have not made me put on any holiday fat according to my weigh scale. Apparently trudging up and down apartment building stairwells is keeping that off.)

[y0urnewhyperfixation]

love is when you try to make it out alive <3

[ambrosiabloodd]

codependency when? give me someone who can't live without me, who spam calls me and tells me to pick up, who messages me at 2am just because they want my attention, who asks if we can do the littlest things together or at the same time, who wants to spend time with me 24/7, who says they can't function properly without me, who knows they'd simply die without me.

and i'd feel the same exact way.

[borderlinebastard]

what “feeling better” can look like after using a coping technique:

beng able to get up and walk around safely

thinking/talking more clearly and lessening of brain fog

a willingness to re-engage with a situation/emotion (even with some reluctance)

ability to do a task you did not want to/could not do before

being able to plan and problem solve (even if you still don’t know what to do)

improved concentration/focus

more understanding of a situation

calmer and slower thoughts (rather than scattered thoughts/rumination)

slower heartbeat and breathing

faster heartbeat, if doing exercise, and momentum that gives you a chance to do a task before you sit down again

being able to sleep easier

an ability to look at the big picture and not get lost in the details

feeling that you can “manage”

ability to control outbursts/destructive behaviour or pause before acting

managing to stop crying

I think people tend to assume their mood is what will improve after trying coping techniques, however, your mood is not the full extent of your mental health, and it doesn’t totally define whether or not a technique has helped you. When disorders cause symptoms like chronic emptiness and low mood, it’s worthwhile to pay attention to your body and your abilities to look for signs of improvement, which can then have an affect on your mood in the long term.

[survivingwithborderline]

bpd math: you spoke to me differently so now you must hate me.

[kitotherianposting]

hello nonhuman ally / young uneducated nonhuman. you have a bomb strapped to your chest. to diffuse it, you must explain why alterhumans are valid without saying any of these phrases

- they still know they're human / it's not like they believe they're physically nonhuman

- well they're not delusional / mentally ill

- it's just a phase, don't bother them / let kids be kids / they're just exploring their identity

- well they're just [insert something that only describes otherpaws / furries]

you have 1 hour.

[gabapentinblues]

im really trying but im also really miserable, everything i do just feels like failure

[lemonwrap]

[study-diaries]

Reminder

Your pain (physical/mental/emotional) is valid even if nobody can see it

Your pain is valid even if you have no physical symptoms

Your pain is valid even if there is no physical injury

Your pain is valid even if others tell you it's not

Your pain is valid even if you do not have a life threatening disease

Your pain is valid even if you don't have a diagnosis

Your pain is valid even if you do have a diagnosis

Your pain is still valid even if nobody believes you

Your pain is still valid even if you are too "young" for the problem/issue

Your pain is valid even if the health care advisor/anybody tells you that it's in your head

Your pain is valid no matter what the conditions are

Your pain is valid.

Pain does not discriminate between age, gender, race, nationality etc. Just because you can't see pain, doesn't mean it's not there.