#audhd academia

[witaliswritesstuff]

Pov: It's the 1st of September, and my school hasn't activated the school platform because it's Friday and they'll activate it and start the school year on Monday like every other school in the country

[sleeplessv0id]

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[r3n0-5]

No, it’s not like you haven’t done anything with your life yet, you’ve been abused, you've been laughed at, you’ve been excluded, you’ve been TRAUMATIZED, you deserve to take time for yourself and HEAL

[yalocalfanficaddict]

I don’t know why but it feels like so many characters in My Hero Academia have Autism (looking at you Bakugou and Todoroki) or ADHD (looking at you Kaminari and Kirishima) or both (looking at you Midoriya and Hatsume). Like, there are so many that seem neurodivergent to point that I wonder if Mr. Horikoshi himself is a lil funky that way…

[misspermitted]

The fun thing about strategically masking rather than just going cold turkey, is that you spend a lot of your life workshopping when masking is worth it. It’s like an ongoing scientific theory. How and when to mask.

(And by fun I mean god I wish I was in a socioeconomic position where I could just unmask all the time. I’m so tired.)

So as evidence for my fellow masking scientists (I’m a humanities major), allow me to share my newly developed hypothesis:

Masking in Long-Term Jobs

Scientists know that the panic instinct to mask in a job interview and first few weeks of a job is strong, however, our hypothesis is that if you don’t need to mask to do the actual job, please consider resisting. Because the evidence shows that it really sucks to trap yourself in a persona. There are two observed phenomena that cause this:

Magneto’s theory from that scene in X-Men First Class that because Raven’s camouflaging she’s only paying half attention to everything else: Magneto is once again correct. The participant cannot fully focus on the job because they’re too busy masking for their coworkers. The outcome of this is massive frustration, exhaustion and eventual burnout.

Invitation to imposter syndrome: If you make any friendly acquaintances or get any positive reinforcement, evidence shows that you will feel like it’s not real. Participants describe being haunted by the idea that they are not an acceptable employee and/or person, only their mask is. Due to phenomena yet to be examined, this somehow leads to one believing their work actually sucks and they’re just pretending it’s good. This phenomena is objectively terrible. Participants in this experiment would not recommend.

Outliers to this hypothesis include the following:

Social service or customer service jobs: Job compliments are reportedly received fine, because masking is incredibly relevant to the ability to do the job well. Reported responses include: 🥰 oh thank you 🥰 I am trying to emotionally manipulate people 🤗 However, research also shows that the outcomes “burnout” and “exhaustion” are sooner reached by these jobs. This research is only preliminary and as of now it is unclear what phenomena cause this.

Jobs you’re just doing for money and you don’t actually care about: This is a false outlier. Autistic people never give 50% on anything. All evidence shows you will end up caring about this job.

The two current theories as to why Autistic participants can’t not care about their job performance are:

Holders of the “Autistic black and white thinking trait” are more likely to think they have a duty and responsibility to the job. (They don’t. We’re in late stage capitalism. You have no responsibility to any business.)

It is one of the behaviours that correspond to the Autistic core emotion: “desperate need to prove themselves worthy and superior because otherwise the damage they got for being different isn’t worth it.” (Other behaviours include: never giving self a break; always pushing self to do better; believing one is both the smartest and worst person in the room; fear and panic about doing something one could be bad at; and inability to sit with own thoughts.)

[sonicspeeddemon]

This is how my parents talk about me

[minimalist-quotes]

What doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

[staringstarling]

I hate the p0rnbots SO much, I try to find wholesome MHA fanfiction? I get BOMBARDED with things I wish I never saw 😭 STAY OUT OF MY FAVORITE TAGS PLEEEAAASE!!!! 🛐🛐🛐 (I'm so happy they haven't gone into the skyborn tags, or autism tags!!!!!)

[bluestarjay]

AHHHHHH OKOK SORRY but here's the platonic autistic bkdk fic I mentioned! umm it's a little over 3000 words, maybe 3100-3200? So it's kinda long but wtv. Warning it is a little bit cringey bc they do use modern gen alpha slang a little bit but I tried to do it in a kind of ironic funny way I swear guys ughhh OH BTW there is a very tiny bit of kamideku!! it is simply implied and by no means needs to be romantic it can easily be a platonic relationship + some awkwardness and teasing.

Enjoy though!

"Hi Kaachan!" "Shut the fuck up, nerd." "Oh! Uhm, ok!"

Midoriya walked a few feet behind Bakugo, because he would yell at him if he didn't. Classes had just ended, and they were on their way back to the dorms.

Normally, Izuku would study with Iida and Uraraka, but Kaachan had asked, or rather demanded, that they study together instead. Neither of them needed it, they both knew that. They were both in the top 5 of their classes grades, and the only reason either one ever bothered to go through the material again was for the sake of their friends. Bakugo would never admit it, of course, but he had friends, and he didn't want them to fail.

When it was just the two of them like this, it was easier for Izuku to let loose. Katsuki's crude humor had partially rubbed off on him over the years, and Izuku would never act that way around his friends. Not that he felt like he couldn't be himself around them! He loved his friends, and most of the time, it was actually easier to be himself with them than with Kaachan. It was more so that he had subconsciously become more like Katsuki when they were together. There had always been a part of Izuku that wondered if he did that because he was actually comfortable with being sassy or arrogant or mean, or if it was just because he thought Katsuki would like him more if he was more like him. Regardless, their relationship had become less strained in the past year, especially since they had fought, and Izuku had learned exactly how Kaachan felt. He realized then that they were more alike than they thought.

…..

Not many other people had realized how similar they were either. Kaachan liked to analyze quirks, too. He just did it in his head. As much as they both liked the way the user fought or used the quirk, how it worked, how it could be improved, etc, Izuku also liked the note-taking aspect. He liked the feeling of the pen in his hand, the way the paper felt beneath his calloused fingers. He liked drawing pictures and diagrams, labeling things, and putting little sticky tabs all throughout the pages. He liked organizing. Katsuki liked to watch the fight. He never wrote anything down, but just like Izuku, he seemed to entirely memorize the fights he watched, but unlike him, there were few times he willingly rewatched the same fight twice. He didn't need to. He could watch it once and pick apart everything they did wrong; their stances, their combat skills, their strength itself. He understood why the villains lost, why they won. He understood that villains usually lost, not because they were weak, but because they were stupid. They had the power, they just didn't utilize it.

…..

After their fight, they also started hanging out more. Kind of.

It was always under the guise of training or studying or something equally important to both of them. Usually, though, when they hung out like this, they talked about All Might and One For All. When they did, they hung out in Izuku's dorm. There was more All Might merch. Sometimes, though, they'd go to Katsuki's dorm. There was no chance Bakugo would let anyone see his room, aside from Izuku; he found it too embarrassing for anyone to see the All Might shrine on his wall. (But at least his entire room wasn't All Might themed like someone he knew.)

Bakugou's dorm was mostly black, orange, and green; and not because of his costume, but rather because those were just his favorite colors. He wouldn't buy something if they didn't have them in one of his colors. Occasionally he settled for red, and he wouldn't buy green unless it was a deep forest shade. His bed was laden with black sheets, black comforter, a black weighted blanket, and three black pillows; two regular and one throw pillow. He couldn't sleep with just the two and he couldn't sleep with more than three. Three regular pillows were too thick and lumpy; the smaller throw pillow being the perfect balance; perfect for neck support. He was particular with how his bed was set up. The walls were covered in posters, mostly from old pre-quirk era bands and tv shows. Every one was lined up evenly, lest Bakugo throw a tantrum.

Bakugo sat down on his bed, and Izuku sat down on the black desk chair, and set his backpack on the floor (he wasn't allowed to sit on Kaachan's bed). "Hey Kaachan, did you see that new interview All Might did? It was sooo cool, right? It was funny, wasn't it?" "Yeah, of course I did, nerd." "But it was, wasn't it?" "It's All Might, of fuckin' course it was cool! Everything All Might does is cool!" Izuku giggled, "Well, except for telling jokes..." Bakugou huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, 'How did the chicken cross the road? By going plus ultra!!' His jokes are so lame! Like what the fuck does that even mean?!" "Kaachan, don't be mean! At least he's trying his best!" "Whatever... What'd you think of that new release of All Might blind boxes? I like the holographic and pearlescent ones, but that flocked one is fucking stupid. I hate flocked shit. It feels so gross! They fucked up his face too. He may be in his 60s, but he does not have that many wrinkles. That's like if I drew you with 86 freckles instead of 43." "Why do you know how many freckles I have." "Because I count your freckles whenever I'm bored and don't have shit to do." "Oh! Uhm... that's nice? I think? That's not an insult is it?" "Why the fuck would I tell you that as an insult, Deku? That's a lame ass insult…" Bakugo’s face was twisted into something bellicose. He even started cracking his knuckles, as if to say, ‘say one more stupid thing and I'll blast you to hell.’ "Right. Right, sorry…” Izuku quieted for a moment before abruptly gasping. “Oh my god, do you remember how All Might brought me WcDonald’s last week? Did you see that someone posted a video of All Might at the counter? I feel so special and nobody even knows it!" "Yeah, why'd he do that anyways? Why would All Might buy you WcDonald’s? Goddamn big back… Aren't you supposed to be the next symbol of peace? How are you gonna be the number one hero if you're constantly eating fuckin' WcDonald’s?" "Kaachan, that's mean!! Before last week the last time I had WcDonald’s was when I was like 10! God, you're not very skibidi today, Kaachan..." He mumbled. "WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU SHITTY DEKU???" Izuku started laughing while Bakugou threw a slew of threats and insults at him. It reminded him of an easier time, somehow, before they got their quirks, and before Kaachan started bullying him.

(Izuku's sense of humor wasn't initially his, either, he realized. He'd started hanging out with Kaminari more recently, who'd started using “brainrot” terms as vocal stims, but Izuku did the same thing; so Kaminari's vocal stims became his vocal stims. Then, he started using them in his daily language. And now they were here.)

…..

“Kaachan, did I ever tell you about Sir Nighteye’s office? The whole, 'you-have-to-make-him-laugh’ thing? And the 10th anniversary poster?” “I think you mentioned the posters. I don't know what the hell the laughing thing is about.” “Oh my God, ok, so, Togata-san told me that the only way Sir Nighteye would accept me was if I made him laugh, but he's like, reeeeally emotionally constipated, like Todoroki almost, so making him laugh is really hard, but since he was such a big All Might fan, I was like, ‘oh, I'll do my All Might impression’ but he was actually mad because it wasn't accurate and he felt offended, but the joke was on him because I was replicating the look All Might had in the interview after the Vinegar Riverbank Incident, y’know, from when that boy was drowning in the river, but his quirk turned the water into vinegar and All Might got it in his eyes when he went in to rescue him so his signature smile was a tad bit more strained than usual? Well, when I told Sir Nighteye he felt kind of ashamed that he hadn’t noticed but he was also kind of —I don’t know— proud? That I had actually remembered the incident and was even able to replicate All Might’s face and he laughed just a little bit and he let me work with him!” “Of course you know how to replicate All Might’s, like, most obscure smile ever, you autistic nerd.” There was silence for just a moment. “Kaachan, you're autistic too…” “Ok, and? Fuck's your point?” Izuku giggled at his— Friend? Brother? Former bully? Classmate? Honestly, he wasn't even sure what they were at that point—.

…..

Izuku spun around in the chair, taking a deep breath and sighing contentedly. Bakugou's room constantly smelled of caramel because of his quirk, but most people didn't know that the hint of cinnamon that was traced there was not actually part of his quirk, but rather the scent of Spiced Cinnamon and Vanilla from Scrub and Skin Works.

The Midoriya and Bakugo families had once gone to the mall together when the children were still young and friends, and auntie Inko wanted to pick up a new fragrance from the store. But while Izuku had somewhat enjoyed the different smells of candles and soaps, Katsuki had just about thrown up. His senses had always been much more delicate than Izuku's. But his own mother had bought a candle too, Spiced Cinnamon and Vanilla. It had a perfect and delicious smell (it did not, however, taste delicious. He licked it. He does not recommend it.), and he always owned two at a time so that he would have a backup for when his current one ran out. He didn't buy anything from the store other than his signature candle. That was his scent. He wouldn't buy any fruity shit or pine or sandalwood; only Spiced Cinnamon and Vanilla. And he never went into the store, either. He would either order it online or have someone pick it up for him. Usually that meant his mom, Deku, or Eijirou, because none of them minded being his lackey every once in a while.

Really, Katsuki didn't go to the mall in general. He hated crowds, especially noisy ones, and he didn't like wasting his time in check-out lines and crowded food courts. The school cafeteria was bad enough, why would he willingly torture himself outside of school? As loud as his quirk was, his ears were built to withstand the volume and pressure of his explosions, but not much else. That's why it hurt sometimes when his ears popped and he’d fall victim to tinnitus. Aside from when he created explosions, loud noises fucked with his ears big time. The psychiatrist who evaluated him for autism had noticed he also had non-quirk related sensory issues, like his aversion to certain smells. It was probably because he was so used to his house smelling like caramel due to their similar quirks that not smelling it made him feel uncomfortable and itchy and out of place. Caramel was familiar. Safe. His mom's incredible spicy curry? Familiar. Safe. Black, orange, and green? Familiar. Safe. And as much as he hated to admit it, Deku was familiar and safe too.

…..

The pair continued chatting for probably another 20 minutes before someone started knocking on the door. “Yooo, Bakugo? Dinner’s ready; you should probably come down and eat. Or we can bring some food up if you want, that’s cool too.” Kaminari. “Yeah, yeah, we’re coming, Sparky.” Bakugo opened the door, which Kaminari just so happened to have been leaning on and coincidentally lost his balance and stumbled. He looked at Bakugo with wide eyes before glancing over to see Midoriya. Upon noticing him, he smiled despite his embarrassed, reddened face and waved, “Hi, Mido-Kun! There’s dinner for you too, of course. We were all wondering where you were. We probably should’ve guessed you two would be together…” He laughed awkwardly, to which Izuku returned the gesture. “Oh my god, can you two dumbasses stop fucking around and flirting? I’m hungry.”

…..

Perhaps just U.A as a whole was familiar and safe.

[pixieverse-icedtea]

if a parallel universe exists, i hope my other self is happy and doing well

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Big celebratory shoutout to disabled/mentally/chronically ill school dropouts. You’re brilliant. You’re a hero. Don’t be ashamed. In fact, be proud. Be proud that you were…

…perceptive enough to see the situation for what it was…

…smart enough to know what you needed to do…

…strong enough to defy expectations…

…brave enough to forage your own path…

…and don’t let anyone convince you that their degree makes them smarter than you. or better than you. or more successful than you. or harder working than you. or more deserving than you. All it means is that they had better support systems. better resources. adequate accommodations. All it means is that you both had goals and plans and dreams, but the world let you down while it was seeing them though. All it means is that our society is deeply lacking both systemic and systematic equitability. And that is something to be angry or upset about, absolutely, but not ashamed of.

[witaliswritesstuff]

EXAMS

I just passed my first exam yesterday! It was an English exam, so it was extremely easy. I got 96% on the written part and 100% on the oral one! Now I have only 12 exams left ✯ Computer Science The written part will be extremely easy, but I have no idea what to do for the oral part ;-; ✯ Geography The written part should be okay and for the oral part, I'll make a slideshow about ecology! ✯ HiT (The full name of the subject is "Historia i Teraźniejszość", which translates to "History and Present".)(It's an awful subject with a textbook that's basically just a conservative blog in book form).(I hate it). ✯ P.P. (Podstawy Przedsiębiorczości, which translates to Basics of Entrepreneurship.) It's incredibly boring but I should be okay without too much preparation ✯ Biology I have no idea how I'll survive biology TwT ✯ Chemistry ✯ Physics I'm TERRYFIED of Chemistry and Physics 😭 ✯ History I'll do the written part without any issues (I hope) and I'll make a slideshow about the French Revolution for the oral part ✯ Philosophy I'm a little bit scared and I don't have any ideas for my project, but I think I'll do good ✯ Polish I really don't want to do the required reading but I'll have to TwT </3 ✯ Mathematics I WILL DIE. ✯ Russian I know almost no Russian. The only thing I know is the little rhyme you say before singing the alphabet </3

[sleeplessv0id]

I just found the first piece of fanart I ever made in my life..

[speromelior]

Recently I have been reading into Biopower and Biopolitics which finds its origins in Foucault. Agamben's "Homo Sacer" has been extremely interesting, especially because I wish to do some more research in Disability Studies. I am looking forward to reading Lennard J Davis.

[my-life-in-moodboards]

Collage No. 8

Today my therapist told me: you are allowed to have expectations. I'm glad she reminded me.

Don't repost, only reblog, thank you!

[antoren]

When I was a kid, a privileged and gifted kid, I was in love with the narrative of being the underdog, the one people would misjudge and then the one to take it all (prize, fame, recognition).

I wanted to be an apprentice, the teacher's pet, the secret weapon they could unleash. Ultimately, I wanted a direction and a mentor for life.

Now I find that I'm growing into this secret weapon persona, a secret artist, a tormented academic student, someone who's created a world inside of them become they're too scared for the outside.

And growing up like this has made me realize that I've always felt beautiful, as long as I was the only one capable of judging that beauty.

So I became a procrastinator, depressed, always running, always pushing too hard because I had never known comfort, only perfection.

The I understood that perfection didn't exist and I was just people pleasing, I was just constantly fearing others and their judgment and so I became angry.

It's not the full story, it's barely even the beginning, but as I like to say, as a motto to keep going:

From this rage, my life.

Non so chi lo disse per primo, dalla mia rabbia, la mia vita.

So, in the end, It was never really important what I could accomplish or how fast, and it's not for you too.

Slow down, as long as you live, there's time, and well... anger to unleash.