#audhd brain

[allie-leth]

I lost my momentum, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So, like, if you lose your momentum with ADHD it's super hard to get started again. Momentum is extremely important. Okay. BUT, and here's the kicker, if you carry that momentum too long, you burn out and can't do anything... WHERE IS THE BALANCE.

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Clinical studies be like

1 billion random boys were tested. results show that 0% of girls are autistic* 👍

1 billion autistic males were tested. results show that 0% of autistics are female* 👍

1 billion minors were tested. results show ADHD stops at age 18, often to be replaced by plain laziness* 👍

*certified😎 totally credible source✨ we are pros🤓 with coats🥼

[autisticinnovator]

Autistic burnout + untreated ADHD =

impulse control issues + inability to force yourself to do anything + drained by no ability to function

Lots of walking pass a mess unable to make yourself clean it, then blame yourself for it.

Distracted, can't focus enough to do fun things and/or take care of yourself.

Forgetting everything. So burned out you can't remember important things + made worse by ADHD.

Constant feelings of self-shame because we can't seem to make ourselves clean, remember things, focus, etc., like it's somehow our fault, even though we can't control it, and we are so burned out we just don't have the energy for anything.

Falling into bad habits that give us a little rush of dopamine because for a moment it makes us feel better.

For a moment, we might feel a little better from the dopamine rush, and get hope that maybe we will get out of autistic burnout.

Not knowing how long burnout lasts + wondering how long will it be before we can get an ADHD assessment, so the psychiatrist can prescribe us ADHD meds. Left to wait and struggle while waiting.

Untreated ADHD can make getting out of autistic burnout seem like it's something in the far out distant future, and left wondering, "When will I feel better?"

[romirella-96]

Too accurate lol. I was so sheltered growing up that I thought reality was what I saw on tv shows 😭🤣 mind you the stuff I use to watch was so criiiinge 😆 & then I tried to mimic it in real life.. 🤦🏽‍♀️ goodness, spare me the embarrassment of reminiscing. ✋🏼 I barely knew how to be a person let own be my OWN person.

[therapy-gems]

[sebs-out-of-spoons]

straying from my usual chronic illness content:

maybe the reason why i find it extremely awkward, horrible, and stressful to be around or interact with little kids or just any kids that are younger than me is because i never knew how to interact with them

growing up undiagnosed autistic (plus adhd) made it ridiculously hard to make friends with kids my age

i didn’t fit in anywhere, i didn’t know how to interact whatsoever, kids would run away from me being very weirded out by me, they’d avoid me as much as possible, and i had to squeeze myself into spaces that i wasn’t meant to be in and that was obvious that i wasn’t meant to be there, add on top of that being a queer kid with zero clue they were queer, having a sibling who was absolutely loved by everyone, and having a chaotic home life due to an alcoholic father

i was very weird and no one liked me, and those that put up with me completely forgot my existence a week or two later after i’d leave

so i never knew how to interact with kids, never had the chance to either, and everyone saw me as odd and peculiar

so now whenever i’m left alone with one or have to interact with one, i’ve no clue how to, no clue what to do, and i honestly feel like i’m in utter complete hell

(also, i think it’s fair to mention that i don’t have any irl friends, only a few online ones that i most likely may never meet up with, and i have zero clue what to do when making friends irl my age now)

[misspermitted]

The fun thing about strategically masking rather than just going cold turkey, is that you spend a lot of your life workshopping when masking is worth it. It’s like an ongoing scientific theory. How and when to mask.

(And by fun I mean god I wish I was in a socioeconomic position where I could just unmask all the time. I’m so tired.)

So as evidence for my fellow masking scientists (I’m a humanities major), allow me to share my newly developed hypothesis:

Masking in Long-Term Jobs

Scientists know that the panic instinct to mask in a job interview and first few weeks of a job is strong, however, our hypothesis is that if you don’t need to mask to do the actual job, please consider resisting. Because the evidence shows that it really sucks to trap yourself in a persona. There are two observed phenomena that cause this:

Magneto’s theory from that scene in X-Men First Class that because Raven’s camouflaging she’s only paying half attention to everything else: Magneto is once again correct. The participant cannot fully focus on the job because they’re too busy masking for their coworkers. The outcome of this is massive frustration, exhaustion and eventual burnout.

Invitation to imposter syndrome: If you make any friendly acquaintances or get any positive reinforcement, evidence shows that you will feel like it’s not real. Participants describe being haunted by the idea that they are not an acceptable employee and/or person, only their mask is. Due to phenomena yet to be examined, this somehow leads to one believing their work actually sucks and they’re just pretending it’s good. This phenomena is objectively terrible. Participants in this experiment would not recommend.

Outliers to this hypothesis include the following:

Social service or customer service jobs: Job compliments are reportedly received fine, because masking is incredibly relevant to the ability to do the job well. Reported responses include: 🥰 oh thank you 🥰 I am trying to emotionally manipulate people 🤗 However, research also shows that the outcomes “burnout” and “exhaustion” are sooner reached by these jobs. This research is only preliminary and as of now it is unclear what phenomena cause this.

Jobs you’re just doing for money and you don’t actually care about: This is a false outlier. Autistic people never give 50% on anything. All evidence shows you will end up caring about this job.

The two current theories as to why Autistic participants can’t not care about their job performance are:

Holders of the “Autistic black and white thinking trait” are more likely to think they have a duty and responsibility to the job. (They don’t. We’re in late stage capitalism. You have no responsibility to any business.)

It is one of the behaviours that correspond to the Autistic core emotion: “desperate need to prove themselves worthy and superior because otherwise the damage they got for being different isn’t worth it.” (Other behaviours include: never giving self a break; always pushing self to do better; believing one is both the smartest and worst person in the room; fear and panic about doing something one could be bad at; and inability to sit with own thoughts.)

[p1xel-1mp]

Childhood/family friend: Oh really! you’re autistic/ ADHD? I would have never guessed!

Me as a kid (and still to this day): DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS DRAGONS

[la-principessa-nuova]

[neurocophany-theyshe]

I never understood the “autistics have a hard time with transitions” thing, bc doesn’t everyone have a hard time with transitions???

Yet I was only ever thinking about HUGE, life-altering transitions, like moving far away or having a kid, which is scary for anybody (but tbf autistics probably still rank higher on the “this is fucking terrifying” scale than allistics do).

But apparently, it also applies to the most basic transitions in day to day tasks. It’s harder for us to switch from one task to the next bc our brains generally function most efficiently when we are able to work in one uninterrupted segment on a task.

I’ve alwaysss struggled with this, especially when I need to use the bathroom - I will hold it for very long periods of time to avoid interruption in my task. For a while I thought it was just bc I also have adhd which causes lack of dopamine/executive dysfunction, and makes it difficult to *initiate* tasks. Which ofc plays a big part into it too. But I never knew it was a double whammy with the classic autism trait of ��change and transitions are harder.” (Also the ignoring of my interoception doesn’t help with me avoiding using the bathroom)

[smallgear]

Ads don’t really work on me at all (yay autism) and I think because of that YouTube is convinced I actually don’t know any English so we’re trying different languages now. We’ve had Swiss German, Polish and Italian and now we’re trying (I think ) Serbian.

[allie-leth]

ADHD: You must do different things and vary your routines to keep your brain from EXPLOSION. Novelty is KEY.

Autism: You must have routines, make sure you have patterns that you can follow because too much variation or novelty causes brain IMPLOSION.

AuDHD: BRAIN EXPLOSION FROM ROUTINES AND IMPLOSION FROM NOVELTY BUT YOU NEED BOTH. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh ah. a. .

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

I sort of hate how much of a hypocrite I am for being really bad at regulating things like tone and body language and facial expression when I communicate but then also being so hypersensitive to that stuff in others

[lunaoyabun]

I'm currently writing on several different smau ideas that popped into my head while living out my jjk harem life in sims and at this point, I should probably consider doing another random chats post because I can't stick to a theme with my audhd brain and you all would probably wait for another week or two until I upload again sooooo:

[romirella-96]

Lmao 🤣 too funny not to share! This was me in high school haha!

[therapy-gems]

30 Flavours of Autism: Grab a Spoon and Help Yourself

Welcome to part one of my series, Flavours of Autism, and my big, feisty feelings around the gatekeeping of autism diagnoses.

Depending on where you live, you’re forced to pay an inordinate sum for a private assessment, wait years for a publicly funded one, or worse, both. Some adults, like me, get lucky and skip the line due to a preexisting relationship with a qualified diagnostician. Unlike most kids, some get lucky and skip the line because their school already has one.

But what breaks my heart entirely is when autistic folks arrive for their assessment and fail to receive diagnoses due to a lack of knowledge and language to describe their lived experience. Not to mention that many symptoms of autism can interfere with the assessment process — and don’t get me started on how gender influences the likelihood of receiving a diagnosis and accurate assessment.

In my most professional, clinical opinion, I consider the process an absolutely abysmal bunch of rotten bananas — and sadly, my hands are mostly tied as a Registered Clinical Counsellor in BC, Canada. RCCs cannot diagnose, but we can provide specialized therapy and recognize, refer, and support clients throughout their journey. Not-so-recently, I realized this isn’t enough to bridge the gap, but through the wise words of the millennial icon, Junie B. Jones, I can assure you “that didn’t even faze me.”

I remain unphased because it is within my scope to disseminate and share what I know and continue to learn. I hope anyone encountering my content can use it to support themselves or others in preparing for their autism assessment. It’s overflowing with all the psychobabble and clinical jargon that might stand between them and an accurate assessment. Education is power, baby.

My words, this article, and the Flavours of Autism series are not a substitute for professional mental health advice or support, such as connecting directly with a psychotherapist or psychiatrist. Moreover, while it’s important to honour and explore your lived experience, reading and resonating with this article does not diagnose you or anyone else with autism, nor mean you or anyone else is autistic.

1. Monotropism

Monotropism refers to an intense focus on one interest or task at a time. Autistic individuals with monotropism may find it difficult to switch their attention between tasks. This deep, single-minded concentration can lead to exceptional expertise in their area of interest. However, it can also cause challenges when adapting to new activities or demands. Understanding monotropism can help create supportive environments that honour their focus while gently encouraging flexibility.

2. Echolalia

Echolalia involves the repetition of words or phrases spoken by others. This can be immediate, where the repetition happens right after hearing the words, or delayed, occurring hours or even days later. Echolalia is often a way for autistic individuals to process language, learn speech patterns, or communicate their needs. Recognizing echolalia as a meaningful communication attempt rather than mere imitation is important.

3. Idiosyncratic Phrases

Autistic individuals might use unique or unconventional phrases that hold personal meaning. These idiosyncratic phrases can confuse others but are significant to the individual. They may stem from specific interests, favourite media, or personal experiences. Understanding these phrases requires patience and a willingness to learn their context and significance.

4. Issues with Interoception

Interoception is the ability to sense internal bodily states like hunger, thirst, or temperature. Autistic individuals might struggle with interoception, making it hard to recognize and respond to their bodily needs. Interception issues can also lead to increased sensitivity to bodily states. This can lead to challenges in maintaining regular eating, drinking, and temperature regulation. Awareness and support in recognizing these internal cues are crucial for well-being.

5. Issues with the Vestibular System

The vestibular system, responsible for balance and spatial orientation, can be problematic for some autistic individuals. Difficulties with the vestibular system may result in coordination, balance, and movement challenges. This can affect daily activities like walking, running, or participating in sports. Occupational therapy and other supportive measures can help improve vestibular function and coordination.

6. Motor Tics

Motor tics are involuntary, repetitive movements such as blinking, twitching, or jerking. These tics can vary in intensity and frequency, sometimes becoming more noticeable during periods of stress or excitement. While motor tics are generally harmless, they can be distracting or socially stigmatizing. Understanding and accommodating these tics can help create a supportive environment.

7. Vocal Tics

Like motor tics, vocal tics involve involuntary sounds or noises like grunting, coughing, or throat clearing. These tics can be frequent and disruptive, affecting communication and social interactions. Recognizing vocal tics as involuntary behaviours and providing supportive responses can help reduce the individual’s anxiety and stress.

8. Repetitive Motor Movements

Repetitive motor movements, often called “stimming,” include hand-flapping, rocking, or spinning. These self-stimulatory behaviours are used to self-soothe, manage sensory input, or express excitement. While stimming is a natural and important behaviour for many autistic individuals, it might need to be managed in certain settings to ensure safety and social comfort.

9. Masking

Masking involves suppressing or hiding autistic traits to fit in socially. This can be exhausting and lead to significant stress or burnout over time. Masking often requires constant monitoring of one’s behaviour to meet social expectations, which can be mentally draining. Recognizing and validating the effort behind masking can lead to better support and understanding.

10. Camouflaging

11. Sensory Sensitivities

Sensory sensitivities refer to over- or under-reactivity to sensory input such as lights, sounds, textures, or smells. Autistic individuals may experience sensory overload or actively seek certain sensory experiences to regulate their sensory input. Understanding these sensitivities and creating accommodating environments can significantly improve comfort and functionality.

12. Executive Function Challenges

Executive function challenges include difficulties with planning, organizing, and completing tasks. These challenges can impact daily activities, academic performance, and time management. Supportive strategies, such as breaking tasks into smaller steps and using visual schedules, can help improve executive function skills.

13. Social Communication Differences

Social communication differences involve challenges with understanding and using verbal and nonverbal communication. This may include difficulties with eye contact, interpreting body language, or understanding social cues. Providing clear, direct communication and allowing extra time for processing can enhance social interactions.

14. Issues with Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to emotions appropriately. Autistic individuals might experience intense emotional reactions and find it hard to calm down. Developing coping strategies and providing a supportive environment can aid in better emotional regulation.

15. Aphantasia

Aphantasia is the inability to visualize images in the mind. People with aphantasia do not create mental pictures and may rely on other senses to process information. This condition can affect memory and imagination but also encourages unique ways of thinking and problem-solving.

16. Hyperlexia

Hyperlexia is characterized by advanced reading ability at a young age, often coupled with difficulties understanding spoken language. Autistic individuals with hyperlexia might have a strong interest in letters and numbers. Recognizing and supporting this unique learning style can help harness their reading skills effectively.

17. Alexithymia

Alexithymia involves difficulty in identifying and describing one’s own emotions. This can lead to challenges in emotional expression and understanding others’ emotions. Providing tools and strategies for emotional awareness and expression can improve communication and emotional health.

18. Dyspraxia

Dyspraxia, also known as Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), affects motor skill development. This can lead to clumsiness and difficulties with tasks requiring coordination. Occupational therapy and targeted exercises can help improve motor skills and daily functioning.

19. Hyperfocus

Hyperfocus is the intense concentration on a task or interest to the exclusion of everything else. While this can be highly productive, it may cause neglect of other responsibilities. Balancing hyperfocus with scheduled breaks and reminders can enhance productivity and overall well-being.

20. Synesthesia

21. Issues with Proprioception

Proprioception refers to the sense of body position and movement. Issues with proprioception often arise as an increased or decreased sensitivity in specific situations. These challenges typically affect coordination and spatial awareness. Exercises and physical therapies that enhance proprioceptive feedback can improve movement and balance.

22. Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) involves difficulty processing and interpreting auditory information. Individuals with APD may struggle to distinguish similar sounds or understand spoken language in noisy environments. Supportive strategies include using visual aids and ensuring a quiet learning environment.

23. Tactile Defensiveness

Tactile defensiveness is a strong negative reaction to touch or certain textures. This can lead to discomfort with certain fabrics, foods, or physical contact. Gradual exposure and sensory integration therapies can help reduce tactile defensiveness and improve comfort.

24. Selective Mutism

Selective mutism is the inability to speak in certain social situations despite being able to speak in others. Often linked to anxiety, it can be seen in social or unfamiliar settings. Creating a supportive and low-pressure environment can encourage communication.

25. Rigid Thinking

Rigid thinking involves difficulty in adapting to changes or seeing different perspectives. Autistic individuals may prefer routines and struggle with unexpected events or new ideas. Encouraging flexibility and gradual exposure to change can help ease rigid thinking patterns.

26. Sleep Difficulties and Disorders

Sleep disorders include difficulty falling, staying, or maintaining a regular sleep schedule. Common in autistic individuals, these disorders can impact daily functioning. Establishing a consistent bedtime routine and creating a calming sleep environment can improve sleep quality.

27. Anxiety Issues and Disorders

Anxiety disorders involve high levels of anxiety that can interfere with daily life. This may include social anxiety, generalized anxiety, or specific phobias. Counselling, coaching, psychotherapy, and other anxiety management strategies can provide relief and improve quality of life.

28. Depression

Depression involves persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or loss of interest. It can affect mood, energy levels, and overall well-being. Seeking professional help and building a supportive network are crucial steps in managing depression.

29. Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)

ARFID involves extreme avoidance of certain foods, leading to nutritional deficiencies and weight issues. It is not driven by body image concerns but by sensory sensitivities, which are common in autism spectrum disorder (ASD). Autistic individuals may avoid foods based on texture, colour, or smell. Understanding ARFID involves recognizing these sensory challenges. Supportive strategies include working with dietitians or therapists to expand food choices and address anxieties. Providing a supportive environment can help improve nutrition and reduce food-related stress.

30. Twice-Exceptional (2e)

Here’s hoping this was helpful and that you’re satiated for now. Learning more about autism, the autistic experience, its nuances, and controversies is a labyrinth. However, I’ll always argue that it’s a worthwhile journey. Plus, aren’t we autistic folk notoriously partial to puzzles and deep dives?

For more hot takes and free education on autism, adhd, and neurodivergence, check out therapy-gems.medium.com <3