mxmorbidmidnight

[mxmorbidmidnight]

My parents as a kid dressed me in those “#girls can do anything #girlboss” shirts a few too many times and now I anythinged into a man.

[mxmorbidmidnight]

I hate when people make fun of me by pretending to be nice. Hoe I don’t know social cues!! After a while people told me that the people who I thought were nice to me were actually mocking me. Rather than misunderstanding to allow me to live in ignorant bliss, I now assume every person who treats me with basic human decency is making fun of me.

[mxmorbidmidnight]

[mxmorbidmidnight]

[mxmorbidmidnight]

TW cursing

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[mxmorbidmidnight]

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[mxmorbidmidnight]

Honk :3 goose likes this art. Don’t worry gryphon I’m sure you’ll have wings as imitating as the goose one day.

Hey…hey bro….lets compare wing sizes… no homo though…

[mxmorbidmidnight]

[mxmorbidmidnight]

*stares majestically*

(It’s going to take more than that to take out the goose your majesty king John of England). IM COMING FLR YPUR CRUMPETS HOE

[mxmorbidmidnight]

"I'm not calling you good boy Morbid you chased an entire family cross country and honked "hoe" at them until they cried"

*disheartened goose sounds*

[mxmorbidmidnight]

Question tag game!!! 🕸️🕷️

1) what is your favourite colour?

2) why are you afraid of John Travolta?

3) where were you December 14th 1893?

4) do you find bagels or donuts more aesthetically pleasing

7) what songs do you associate with your identity?

8) how much are you willing to sacrifice for shrek? How many lives?

11) how do you take your tea

15) would giving eggman a big ol’ smooch fix my problems or make them worse?

9) if I’ve had this rash for six weeks should I see a doctor?

16) why do I keep finding blond hairs in my house?

17) I forgot my Facebook password can someone find the sticky note that I wrote it on

11) can I borrow a bag of hair?

15) please

18) I’ll return it this time

17) would you eat nemo from finding nemo

18) would you eat any of the characters from finding nemo? If so which? Personally I just want to eat nemo.

17) how many buzzfeed “which Harry Potter character and Disney princess are you” quizzes could you take in a fight

67) do you ever relate to wet towels

78) why did my my wife leave me?

17) would you rather make out with a personified version of pinapple on pizza or would you rather eat nemo’s dad

69) what is the meaning of it all

33) who are you really

[mxmorbidmidnight]

Tis no room for passive aggression!! I art raw dogging it at all hours of the day to the maximum capacity, relentless and without cease. I need not weapons nor intellects!! Do tell the kings court to put up their banners and ready their Calvary for I art approaching!! I hath been looking at pictures of muscular shirtless men and snorting protein powder!! I hath “locked in”. They may have gotten off easy back in 1433!! But they shalt not be so blessed this time. For how can they be blessed for there is no god!!!!! Only goose!!

(Thou shalt not ask about what happened back in 1433 *ashamed honking* there is some Morbid lore that must stay lost to time….)

[mxmorbidmidnight]

One time I was in a public bathroom and I was taking my bag off to put it on the hook. I was also wearing fake elf ears, I accidentally nudged off the ear, it dropped on the titles. But no!! It does not stop there!!!

It Bounces!!! under the cubicle to the next one like the fucking ring of power.

There also happened to be a person in that other cubicle. I had to go wait outside the bathroom door to retrieve my ear. When they unlocked the door they had to awkwardly hand me my ear. God bless that poor person who was peeing and then had an entire ear bounce at their feet. I am so sorry.