#lily squeaks

[lilysqueaks]

Comfy bed boobies

Check rb

[mouseylily]

yo there's so much bucktommy hate wtf

[lilyisatiger]

Reject modernity and share your Lalaloopsy OCs

[scatterpatter]

Watching a video talking about horror content while home alone on a stormy night and suddenly hearing something crashing upstairs

[mxlfoydraco]

Ive been thinking about the similarities between Lily/James and Harry/Draco introduction scene again and it got me wondering, do you think Lily or James would better understand Draco? James, because he too was an arrogant/bullying pureblood who had to change his ways before Lily fell in love with him or Lily, because she could see Draco from the other viewpoint

Well, I’d say that Lily has a track record of giving people chances to prove themselves. She also doesn’t let anyone get away with shit though. I do also think that by that point, after the Snape fall out especially, she’d be a bit more cynical. She’d probably be cautious and guarded but she loves Harry too much to not trust his judgement and wants.

James… well, James and Sirius both were a bit of black and white thinkers, though Sirius’ talks with Harry in OOTP implies that they improved on that. Looking back at Lily’s letter and photo, it’s Lily who’s laughing at Harry wreaking havoc on his baby broom while James chases after him. James also witnessed Lily and Snape’s fallout and had to learn the hard way to get himself better. He’s an easy going, fun dad but I think he’d be the harder front to conquer. In my opinion, he wouldn’t raise hell. He’d think he’s too “cool” for that (actually a dork tbh) so he would give them a chance but he’d be more on edge and wary compared to Lily. Remember that he can be quite the arrogant asshole too!

[umilily]

picture of a very aesthetic cake i ate while on a very bumpy road.

[ellecdc]

James and Sirius and Remus and Lily and *takes a dramatic breath* you?

this one's for you @enamoredwithbella, thanks for sorting this idea out with me @unstablereader

poly!Marauders + Lily x shy!reader who is so smitten with them

pt 1 // pt 2 // pt 3 // pt 4 // pt 5

CW: fem!reader, reader has hair long enough to be played with, reader is in Hufflepuff, swearing, consent because it's sexy AF

This was obviously a bad idea.

You’re not even sure how your friends managed to convince you to attend the Gryffindor party, but you swore to every deity it would never happen again.

There were too many people (most of whom you’d never spoken to before), it was too loud (songs you didn’t particularly care for), and the fifteenth time someone bumped into you nearly sent you over the edge.

“Whoa there, sweetheart.” A low voice commented as an arm quickly righted you from your nearly horizontal position. “Y’alright?”

You looked up to see the face of none other than Gryffindor quidditch captain James Potter beaming down at you.

You were ashamed of yourself for the way that smile made you feel.

“Erm, yup! Thanks.” You squeaked, quickly freeing yourself from James’ grasp so fast that you nearly knocked someone else over in your attempt at creating distance between you and the Headboy.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like James. On the contrary; you were rather smitten with him.

Him and his partners - which was nothing short of dense in simple terms.

But you couldn’t help the way you blushed when he held the doors open for you as you walked into classes, or the friendly smile and wave he’d shoot at you when he saw you on Prefect rounds. 

You sort of wished he’d stop being so bloody nice to you; maybe then you’d be able to get over this crush that was never going to amount to anything.

But James was taken; three times over. 

And what a sodding group they were.

Heart Throb of Hogwarts™ Sirius Black in his effortless style, his devil may care attitude, and his insatiable flirting. Being noticed by Sirius felt like your favourite rockstar singing a song written just for you. 

And don’t even get you started on the enigma that is Remus Lupin; the Cassanova of Gryffindor tower. Everyone in your year (and likely the years below you) had at some point or another crushed hard on the quiet Marauder; but it really couldn’t be helped. He was tall, he was handsome, he was kind, and though he was far more quiet than his counterparts, the quips he shared with you never ceased to reduce you to a fit of laughter.

And gods, was Lily Evans ever beautiful. She was the total package; she was funny, outgoing, smart, and stunning. Looking at her even now with her long auburn hair as she threw her head back in laughter; so open and care free in her actions. You weren’t sure if you wanted to be her or being underneath-

No.

No. That was not a nice thing to think about someone who was in a committed relationship.

You let out a sigh as you zoned back into the fact that James still had one of his hands on your elbow and was smiling curiously at you. 

“Thanks for the save! I really owe you one.” You chuckled awkwardly and nearly took out one of the Prewett twins in your haste to leave Potter’s vicinity. 

Unfortunately, trouble seemed to be following you.

And by trouble, you meant Sirius Black.

“Damn, Hufflepuff!” He cheered as he moved a sultry gaze up and down your body appreciatively. “Give us a spin, dollface.”

You felt all the blood in your body migrate to your cheeks as you fought to keep your mouth from falling open.

Lily, the beautiful angel (or the evil temptress, depending on how you looked at it), swatted at Sirius from her perch on the arm of the chair her boyfriend was currently occupying.

“Down boy; you’re going to scare her away.” She teased with a smirk as she winked at you. 

You felt momentarily grateful for her.

And then she spoke again.

“Then none of us will get to look at her.”

Fucking Helga, was it hot in here? They needed to open more windows; preferably one you could launch yourself out of right now, thank you very much. 

“That’d be such a shame, really. Sorry doll, you don’t gotta spin - no one else here deserves to appreciate such a view.”

“Okay.” You squeaked and turned in search of your friends.

You know what? Fuck your friends; you were leaving with or without them. 

They weren’t….flirting with you, were they?

Surely not.

Of course not.

What a ridiculous thing to think.

But…it certainly felt like they were flirting with you.

Maybe one more glance?

Just as you were about to approach the portrait hole, you turned for one more look at the objects of your affection and your current tormentors and - yup, sure enough - Sirius, Lily, and now James were all standing there smiling at you.

They were watching you leave?!

Okay time to go, that is enough nonsense for one day. 

You spun and collided with something tall and solid which thankfully caught your arms as you all but ricocheted off of them.

“Hey there, dove. Where’re you headed in such a hurry?”

Please for the love of gods, don’t tell me…

But of course, you looked up to see the face of one Remus Fucking Lupin smirking down at you. 

“You lot are everywhere.” You whispered in awe. The bastard only chuckled in response.

“Come on you guys! We’re going to start a game of truth or dare!” Lily called over to…you (?) and Remus.

“Well, we wouldn’t want to miss that, would we?” Remus murmured lowly into your ear as he steered you towards the growing circle congregating around the various chairs and sofas littering the common room.

And listen, you’re not particularly proud that you were so placid in Remus’ man handling you.

But in your defence…

In your defence, Remus was man handling you. 

And to your absolute horror, he plopped you down beside Lily on a large chair that was not quite large enough for two people. 

You tried to swallow your heart back down which was attempting to escape via your mouth as you became hyper focused on the fact that Lily sodding Evans was pushed up against you none too casually and- Merlin’s tits, was she playing with your hair!? 

You pretended to pay attention as a few rounds passed by; your friend being dared to give you a lap dance being the most brazen thing to have taken place.

Until it got to the Marauders.

Marlene dared Sirius to strip down to his boxers for a whole round which he was all but too eager to do, apparently. Meaning he got to ask the next person.

“Moony!” 

Remus smiled down at his lap before he looked over at one of his boyfriend’s mischievously. 

“I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl here.”

You’re not necessarily proud of the way your heart plummeted at that; this is what you had been telling yourself all night. They were taken.

No matter if they complimented you.

No matter if they caught you as you fell. 

No matter if they snuggled up to you on a chair designed for one.

No matter if one of them made you feel like you leaving the party early would have been truly devastating.

No matter.

“That’s impossible; there’s two of them.” Remus said quickly, causing your heart to ache for Lily.

Who even says that when their girlfriend is sitting right here!?

You kept your head down as the party all ooooh’ed and aawwwweee’d.

James let out a funny high pitched laugh as if he were an over excited kid on Christmas morning. “Guess you’ll have to kiss them both then.” 

You really should have left when you had the chance; you weren’t sure you could watch.

It was their business if they wanted to include another, but that didn’t mean you had to like it.

“Or they can kiss each other; I think I’d enjoy that just as much.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Lily said as she stood; the space she once inhabited felt cold and vacant without her.

“Well? Come on then?” She said as she grabbed your arm.

“What?”

“Come with me.” She said again, wiggling your arm within your grasp, and who were you to deny her, really?

Like a well trained dog you followed her obediently over to where Remus sat before she all but shoved you into his lap.

“You seem like the fidgety type; maybe Rem can help with that, hm?” She said as she shot a wink at Remus over your shoulder.

His arms wrapped possessively around your waist as he rested his chin on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

“Is it okay if she kisses you, pretty girl?”

You had no time to be absolutely horrified at the pathetic little keening sound that escaped your lips as you looked up at the red-head now towering over you.

“What do you say, gorgeous?” And though her emerald eyes did shine with some mischief, you could see she was earnest; this was your choice.

“Okay.” You whispered barely loud enough for you to hear yourself over the hammering of your heart.

“Yeah?” She whispered as she knelt in front of you.

“Yeah.” You agreed.

And you only got to see the soft, hopeful smile that adorned her lips for but a moment before her hands were on either side of your face and she was pressing her soft lips to yours. 

It could have been hours or centuries but it was also all too soon before she was pulling away from you; a proud smile on her lips though her cheeks were a similar colour to her hair.

You became aware of the hooting and hollering going on around you as Remus’ chest began to vibrate in laughter.

“Beautiful.” He murmured - likely more to himself than to you, but you heard it all the same.

“Do I get a turn?!” James shouted before Sirius roughly grabbed him by the waist and planted him down on his lap.

“Not before me, Jamie.” He snickered as he shot you a wink. 

The audacity of a man to still be so confident sitting in nothing but his boxers. 

You tried to hide behind your hands though it was all for naught as Remus made a theatrical cooing sound and pulled you further into his lap until you were all but cradled in his arms.

“Maybe without an audience next time, hm?” He asked you as he brushed some hairs away from your forehead.

Not trusting yourself to speak (or to even make direct eye contact with the bloke currently cuddling you in your lap), you nodded with your face still hidden.

“Way to go babe.” James said as Lily went to join the two boys on their loveseat. “You were so good, we’ll even get a next time!”

read about their first date here!

[jobean12-blog]

Fancy Restaurant

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word Count: 2,457

Summary: Nat works her magic and 'accidentally' double books you and Bucky for babysitting. The kids don't want either of you to leave so you end up babysitting together and thanks to some imaginative play the night progresses perfectly.

Author's Note: I definitely took inspiration for this from the Bluey episodes "Fancy Restaurant and Double Babysitter." It just seemed like such a fun idea! Steve and Nat's kids are about the same ages as Bingo and Bluey, 4-5ish and 6-7ish. Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the sweet @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰

Warnings: super sweet fluff and fun, Bucky's a little shy at first but by the end he knows exactly what he's doing.

“Almost ready?” Steve asks from the doorway of the bedroom.

Nat turns and smiles. “Just five minutes.”

The doorbell rings.

“We’ll get it!” their two daughters, Lily and Rose, yell simultaneously.

The sound of slapping feet and giggles disappears down the stairs before you hear them scream, “UNCLE BUCKY!”

“My two favorite girls!” Bucky coos as he kneels down to embrace them. “Ready for lots of junk food, scary movies and staying up late!?”

Lily and Rose nod their heads vigorously and don matching grins.

“There will be none of that,” Steve tsks as he walks into the foyer, hands on hips.

“AW DADDY!” Lily whines.

“You’re no fun!” Rose adds.

Steve just scoffs as Nat walks in with a confirming smile.

“I just love it when you all gang up on me,” Steve grumbles.

Nat pats him on the back sympathetically and Bucky chuckles.

“Alright you two. Off you go,” Bucky says. “We’ll be just fine. Have fun!”

Just as Steve is helping Nat into her coat the doorbell rings again. Everyone, but Nat, turns with confused expressions before Steve and Bucky exchange questioning glances.

“Nat?” Steve asks.

She shrugs nonchalantly and opens the door.

“Hey babe,” Nat says as she greets you and holds her arms open.

You smile brightly and rush in to hug her.

It takes you a moment to realize you have an audience and when your eyes lock on Steve’s puzzled face your brows furrow.

The girls momentarily distract you when they start squealing in happiness and tug at your pants in greeting. You kneel down to squeeze them both before asking Nat, “what’s going on? What did I miss?”

“I was about to ask the same thing,” Steve says with a warm smile as he hugs you.

Bucky just stands to the side, his eyes glued to you and his mouth hanging open.

“Nothing!” Nat exclaims excitedly. “Steve and I are leaving.”

“Ok! You two have fu…” you trail off when your eyes land on Bucky.

“Did you double book?” you whisper to Nat.

“Double book?” she repeats, feigning misunderstanding.

Bucky clears his throat and wipes his palm on his jeans before extending his hand.

“Hi, I’m Bucky,” he says.

You introduce yourself, noticing the way his cheeks turn pink when your skin touches his.

Steve drops his head with a shake then looks to his wife who’s standing there looking smug.

“I didn’t realize you already had a sitter,” you say. “I can go?”

“NO!” Steve, Nat, Bucky and the girls screech.

“You should definitely stay,” Nat says.

“Of course, the girls would be so disappointed if you left,” Steve adds.

“WE WOULD!” Rose says in her sweet voice. “Please stay!”

“YES you have to stay!” Lily pleads. “Now we can play fancy restaurant!”

The two girls squeak with excitement before rushing off with a yell. “We’re going to set it up!” 

Steve and Nat finally get out the door and leave you and Bucky standing there.

“So,” Bucky starts and rubs the back of his neck.

You smile and move toward the kitchen.

“Have you eaten dinner yet?” you ask him.

“No,” he sighs while he pats his stomach. “But I’m starving!”

Your gaze falls to his large hand spread across his abs, the soft fabric of his Henley pressing against his muscles and accentuating them.

When your eyes move upward you catch him wearing a smirk and quickly turn your focus to the cabinets for food.

“I’m sure I can find something quick and easy to make,” you assure him.

As you move around the kitchen and pull things from the fridge and cabinets Bucky follows you, offering help where he can and asking you about how you met Nat.

“Are you sure we haven’t met before?” you ask him.

His eyes wander over your features, lingering on your lips for a moment too long before he blinks and says, “no way. I would definitely have remembered.”

You capture your bottom lip between your teeth and continue mixing the mac and cheese and when you steal a look his way you can see the pink color on his cheeks just above the dark scruff of hair.

A loud crash from the girls playroom alerts you both and Bucky quickly stands.

“I’ll go check on them.”

You finish up the mac and cheese and serve it into two bowls then set them on the table.

He returns just in time.

“They were just trying to set up the table for their restaurant,” he explains.

“I love how imaginative they are,” you muse. “They always come up with fun ideas!”

Bucky agrees before pulling out your chair.

“Thanks for cooking,” he says. “I’ll do the dishes.”

“No problem and great!”

You sit and dig in, enjoying the easy conversation the flows between the two of you.

The girls rush back in the kitchen just after Bucky places the last dish on the drying rack.

“READY!?” Rose asks, her tiny hands clasped together and a chef hat sitting crooked on her head.

The apron she’s wearing is tied haphazardly at her waist and there are several toy utensils sticking out of the pockets.

You and Bucky exchange a smile.

“We’re ready!” you tell the girls.

Lily whispers something in Rose’s ear before Rose rushes off with a giggle.

“That was our chef,” Lily explains. “The restaurant is just this way.”

She holds out her hand and waits for you and Bucky to follow.

“You have to hold hands,” Lily says as she walks you two toward the play room.

Bucky’s eyes go wide and he turns to you.

“Mommy and daddy always hold hands on dates!” Lily exclaims.

You give Bucky a reassuring smile. “I don’t mind if you don’t.”

“I definitely don’t!” he says and holds out his hand.

You take it and walk the rest of the way hand in hand.

Lily runs ahead and stands behind a makeshift pile of books, turning over some papers. You and Bucky stop in front of her and she states, “welcome to our fancy restaurant. Do you have a reservation?”

“Ummm,” Bucky starts. “Yeah, two for Barnes,” and he looks at his watch. “Six pm.”

Lily runs her finger down the paper. “I don’t see a Barnes here,” she says.

Bucky looks nervously to you then back at Lily.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

Lily sighs. “Did you call to make a reservation?”

“Oh,” Bucky says. “No, I didn’t! Is that bad?”

“YES!” both Lily and Rose yell. “But don’t worry,” Lily continues in a whispered voice, “you can just call now.”

Bucky stands there, clearly unsure of how to handle this and you think quick, reaching with your free hand into the back pocket of his jeans to pull his phone free.

You poke him in the chest with it. “Quick call!” you whisper shout. “I’m hungry!”

The girls giggle and watch Bucky.

“Uh…RIGHT!” he says and pretends to dial his phone.

“Hello, fancy restaurant. How can I help you this evening,” Lily says as she picks up her Minnie Mouse phone.

“Hi,” Bucky answers. “I’d like to make a reservation please.”

“Certainly,” Lily responds. “How many?”

“Two for James Barnes.”

“James?” Rose chimes from behind the play kitchen. “Who’s James?”

Bucky laughs. “That’s my first name but your dad has been calling me Bucky since we’re kids so it kind of stuck.”

Rose shrugs and Lily pretends to scribble something on the paper. “Great,” she says.

She hangs up the phone and repeats her welcome from earlier.

“Barnes for two,” Bucky states.

“Ah yes!” Lily sings. “Right this way.

In all the commotion you and Bucky stopped holding hands and when Lily realizes she stops short and puts her hands on her hips, a mirror image of her father, and gives you both a stern look.

“HANDS!” she shouts.

Bucky reaches over and takes your hand, gently stroking his thumb across your knuckles.

“If I knew I had a date tonight I would have dressed the part,” you lean over and whisper to him.

His lips lift into a boyish smirk. “You look perfect doll.”

Lily pulls his attention away and he misses the way his words make you react.

The table that’s set up is kid size and after Bucky pulls out your chair he sits in his and it makes you nearly fall over with laughter.

“What?” he asks with a grin.

“Oh my god,” you giggle.

Lily and Rose join you tableside.

“Would you like to hear the specials?” Rose asks.

“Sure,” Bucky answers.

“You’re still supposed to be holding hands,” Lily says. “On the table.”

“Oh!” you say and reach your hand across for Bucky’s. “Like this?”

“Perfect!” Lily says with a satisfied smile. “Now Chef Rose. The specials please.”

Rose rattles off a list of random food pairings that have you and Bucky trying not to burst out laughing. You somehow hold it together and place your orders, watching as the girls run off toward their play kitchen.

“This is already the best date I’ve been on,” Bucky says.

“Me too!” you agree. “The service is amazing!”

You say the last part loud enough to make sure the girls can hear it and their excited squeals warm your heart.

“I mean it,” Bucky says. “I’m having a great time.”

After he admits that out loud you can tell he’s slightly embarrassed so you’re quick to assure him you are too.

Lily brings over play plates and utensils and periodically checks in as you wait for your ‘food’ to be prepared.

The ease of your conversation with Bucky makes you feel comfortable and safe and the more you talk to him the more you like him.

Rose joins Lily for the presentation of the food and both you and Bucky are impressed with the spread.

“Wow this looks delicious!” he says eagerly.

The girls look pleased and excuse themselves in a flurry of fancy bows and unintelligible mutterings.

You and Bucky pretend to eat the food, laughing and sharing stories. Lily sneaks over and whispers, “don’t forget to feed each other!”

She tip toes away and you can feel her staring.

“She’s watching and waiting isn’t she?” you ask Bucky.

He subtly nods and pretends to scoop his spaghetti. He holds up the small fork and you laugh again, the pink plastic tiny in his hand.

You lean forward and he meets you half way, pretending to feed you a bite. A cheer erupts from behind you and the girls yell, “again!”

After sharing more bites and a special ‘fancy’ dessert Lily and Rose present Bucky with the bill.

“Hope you enjoyed your meal doll,” he says to you. “I know I did!”

“It was delicious!” you exclaim. “We definitely have to come back!”

Lily escorts you toward the door of the play room, instructing you once again to hold hands and bids you farewell.

While you and Bucky are strolling down the hall you hear the girls whispering to each other and Bucky squeezes your hand.

“I don’t think the date’s over,” he mutters.

You cover your mouth to stifle your laughter.

Rose skips over and stops in front of you and Bucky so you have to stop walking.

“Time for a smoochy kiss!” she says happily.

“YES! YES! Smoochy kiss time!” Lily sings.

Bucky looks down at the two girls and kneels so he’s eye level.

“Aw girls,” he says, “I’m not sure we can do that.”

“But” Rose says, her eyes big and shining. “Daddy and Mommy always smoochy kiss!”

You tug on Bucky’s shoulder and he stands again. You smile at the girls and lean up to press your lips to his cheek.

“There,” you say. “How’s that?”

Two sets of pouty lips turn to you and their tiny voices say in unison, “that’s a cheeky kiss! Not a smoochy kiss!”

Bucky wraps his fingers around your biceps and studies your face.

“Maybe if I give you one?” he says, his tone questioning.

You nod and wait for the press of his lips to your skin, closing your eyes briefly and opening them to find him staring at your lips.

The girls stomp and whimper, clearly not satisfied.

“Might as well give them what they want,” you whisper, pressing yourself closer to him.

His right hand slides up your arm and grazes the curve of your neck before he cradles your cheek and brushes his thumb at the corner of your mouth.

He dips his head as his metal hand slides around your waist and splays across your lower back. His dark eyelashes lower and he moves closer. Your fingers grasp at his Henley and you give him a little tug.

“Bucky, you can kiss me now.”

He nods lightly and his nose bumps yours, his lips hovering so close you can feel his warm breath.

“I hope I can keep this PG,” he whispers before pressing his lips to yours.

Your hands glide up to his shoulders and then to the back of his neck, fingernails gently scraping along his hair when he pulls you so close there isn’t a breath of space left between you.

The sounds of the girls screeching and screaming finally pulls you out of the kiss and you bury your face in his neck.

“THAT…” Rose starts with sparkling eyes, “was the best smoochy kiss EVER!!!”

“Can you do it again?” Lily asks, dancing in place.

You giggle and peck Bucky on the lips.

“Girls it’s just about time for bath and bed,” you tell them.

“Aww but we want to keep playing fancy restaurant,” Rose whines.

“I know. But we can play in the bath and then I’ll read you a bedtime story! Any one you want!”

The two girls beam up at you and then look at Bucky.

“You’ll play too Uncle Bucky, right?” Rose asks.

“Of course!” he says. “But first you two have to clean up.”

They groan but agree with shuffling feet and head back to the play room.

You watch them go until you feel Bucky’s eyes on you. When you turn to face him he grabs your hand and pulls you around the hallway and presses you against the wall.

“One more smoochy kiss?” he asks.

“Yes,” you murmur and meet his lips in a soft kiss.

“They’re smoochy kissing again!” Rose squeals!

“They do it way better than mommy and daddy!” Lily giggles. “I can’t wait to tell them!”

“We’re never gonna hear the end of this doll,” Bucky winks.

“I think this is exactly what they wanted,” you whisper.

“You’re exactly what I want,” he says before kissing you again. “And I plan on getting as many kisses as possible after those two go to bed.”

@randomfandompenguin @hiddles-rose @goldylions @kmc1989 @blackwidownat2814 @littleseasiren @buckysdollforlife @lizette50

[moonstruckme]

I absolutely adore your roommate James series! It’s so tender and soft and sweet and it feels like the literary version of a hug 😭 you nail it every time!

Thank you sweetness!!! I am giving you a hug actually <3

cw: threatening with a weapon

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13

roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 1.2k words

Things have come to a point where James needs to admit to himself that he likes you as more than a friend. 

The problem is, he likes you as a friend so much. He’s no stranger to the dilemma of risking a friendship for something more, but he’s not a teenager anymore and you’re not Lily. James knows he wouldn’t be able to play it off as a silly, harmless crush with you. And, really, he wouldn’t want to. You bully your way into his thoughts all day long. Your sweet voice, the way you talk with your eyes, tiny moments like the way your lips parted when he’d first slipped and called you sweetheart. You’d schooled your expression into teasing exasperation almost immediately, but there had been a softening in your eyes that made him impatient to do it again.

If he told you all that, James would probably come home to find all your things gone. You can barely handle it when he tells you you look nice. He doesn’t want to lose you. 

So, against his wishes and all his instincts and proclivities, he’s going to let it lie. James wants to be your friend more than he wants to discover what else you could be together. He can love you this way, too. 

That doesn’t do anything to deaden the thrill that goes up his spine when he picks up his phone and hears your voice on the other end, though.

“James?” 

“Y/n?” He checks the number on his phone. It’s not in his contacts. 

“Yeah. Um, are you—are you busy?” There’s a wobble in your voice. James’ heart drops straight down to his stomach. 

“I’m not,” he says, stopping short of the field where his teammates are gathering and turning back towards his car. “Is everything alright?” 

“Yeah.” It’s clearly not, but he was silly to ask. Of course you’d say that. “I just, if you’re free, I was wondering if you could maybe pick me up?” 

That wobble hasn’t gone from your voice. James’ heart trembles in solidarity. 

He gets back in his car, starting the ignition with perhaps a tad too much force. “I’m on my way,” he promises. “Where are you, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m outside the Waterstones on Manor Road, you know where that is?” 

“I know the one, yeah.” 

Your voice sounds held together by fragments. “I’m sorry, it’s far.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, then regrets it instantly. This is hardly the time for a good-natured scolding. He turns out of the parking lot. “I’m coming. What’s wrong?” 

“I’ve—I’ve had my phone and wallet taken. I don’t have my key to the apartment.” 

“Taken?” James’ head buzzes like a TV turned to the wrong channel. “By who?” 

“A man, I—I don’t know. Um, I’m borrowing this woman’s phone, and I think I should give it back.”

His lungs feel small, panic choking him. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. Be safe, yeah?”  

“Yeah.” A breath crackles through the phone. James wonders if you’d been choking, too. “Thanks, James.” 

“Just be safe.” 

The sun has dipped below most buildings by the time he gets there. It makes it difficult to see you, but James’ eyes work like a compass, finding your shadowy form curled up on the curb. The bookstore looks to be closed or close to it, no patrons walking by you as you sit with your knees bent close to your chest. 

You see his car pull up, and he’s halfway to you before you’re even standing. Your arms come around James as readily as his around you, your face squished willingly into the fabric of his workout shirt. Your breath seems to stutter out of you. 

“It’s okay,” he says, grasping the back of your head. He’s not sure if he’s talking to you, or himself, or either of you. He’ll tell whoever will listen. “You’re okay, sweetheart, it’s alright.” 

“Sorry,” you squeak. “I don’t know why I’m crying now.” 

“You’re okay,” James says again, just for good measure. His lips find the top of your head. “What happened?” 

“I think I was mugged,” you laugh. It comes out warped, completely unlike the sound he’s spent months chasing after. “This guy showed me a knife, and told me to hand him my bag and phone, and I just gave them to him. It was right out in the open.” Another jagged, heart-aching laugh. “I feel so stupid.” 

“Why would someone else mugging you make you stupid?” James lets you go enough to give you a little space, but his arms stay around you, his hand rubbing firmly over your shoulder blade. “Did you call the police?” 

You gnaw on your lower lip. It already looks bitten to shreds. “No.” 

He nods, taking a breath. James isn’t typically the responsible one in his relationships. He’s not good at knowing what to do. It makes him think of being thirteen and seeing Sirius all bruised and broken, feeling his heart break and knowing that he had to fix things despite the both of them being too young to have any clue how to deal with something so huge. James is an adult now, but he still feels too young. 

“Do you want to go home?” he asks you. 

You bite down hard on your lip, but your eyes gloss anyway. “Yeah,” you say, voice breaking. 

James pulls you close and gives in to treating you the way he wants to, kisses pressed into your hairline and tender words pouring from his lips. He gets you into the car and takes you home. 

Throughout the rest of the evening, you’re at once more reticent and more talkative than you’ve ever been. You’ll stare into the distance for minutes at a time, but then you’ll speak up, seemingly randomly, about some small fact you’d forgotten or a thought that’s been pushing at your consciousness. You tell him that you don’t think you could describe the man well enough to the police. That you have no concept of how long you stood around before you thought to ask for someone else’s phone. That you sort of wish you’d refused to hand yours over, because really what was the worst that could have happened?

“Well, he could have stabbed you,” James says.

“Yeah, but how often is that really fatal? And he might not have. It’s embarrassing, all he had to do was show me the knife and I turned everything over. I probably would have been fine.” 

“I don’t think you’re automatically fine if you’re not dead, angel. You were still at risk of being stabbed.” 

“I’d still have my phone and everything, though.” 

“I think you’re worth a bit more than that stuff.” 

“Mm, agree to disagree.” 

James does things he doesn’t particularly want to do—phoning your bank, filing a police report online, texting your landlord about a new set of keys—and several things he really does want to do. Once you’ve changed into your cozy clothes he practically swaddles you in blankets, putting a hot chocolate in your hand and that show you’re always watching on the TV. He makes you dinner, teases you until he gets a real smile, puts your mum’s number in his phone and texts her to let her know you’re okay. James touches you amply, lips on your cheek and hand smoothing the hair from your face and one knee pressing into your leg through the blanket. 

And you let him. 

[lilysqueaks]

I just dreamed of a special chastity cage that teases you, but also injects smth. that makes cumming impossible forever, while making you permanently leaky...

I'm so cooked! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[mouseylily]

He hooked his finger into her mouth, a grimy fingernail digging sharply into the delicate skin on the inside of her cheek, grotesquely marking where he would drive the hook into her face. All she could taste was metallic bitterness coming from his dirty finger, her mouth filling with saliva as her gag reflex threatened to overwhelm her. She couldn’t do anything, his weight pressing on top of her and his leering grin freezing her muscles with terror. She was trapped, her heart skittering in her chest like the cornered animal she was.

And like any cornered animal, she lashed out in the only way she could, her primal instincts taking over as the same words repeated over and over in her head.

DANGER

YOU

ARE

GOING

TO

DIE

DANGER

She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want her last moments to be filled with so much fear, so much pain. She didn’t want her last image to be his smug, smiling face. She started to get angry. Fury and rage began to eat away at her fear, and heat began to build in the base of her skull, the only solution that her survival instincts gave her overriding any other action she might take.

She bit down. Hard.

Her teeth pierced the coarse flesh of his finger, canines rending the skin, muscle, nerves, and blood vessels away like they had evolved to do, filling her mouth with the much more welcome taste of coppery blood, his blood, as he cried out.

She didn’t stop, not when her teeth met resistance as enamel hit bone, not when the futile wrenching of his hand sent jolts of pain through her jaw, the adrenaline in her system and screaming alarm in her brain (or was it his screams of pain as he tried wrenching his filthy hand from her mouth, too little too late?) overriding any instinct she would have to stop, to save the appendage of a fellow human.

Except, he wasn’t human anymore, not to her. He was a monster, a thing, borne from her nightmares and come to life before her, so much more terrifying than she could ever imagine.

And yet…

CRUNCH

Her teeth finally cracked through the thin bones of his finger, and she was able to wrench her head back, her prize snugly fit between her molars and she began bucking and screeching with him, taking his distraction as an opportunity to throw him off her. She spared no time to watch him curl around his injured hand on the concrete floor, blood slowly beginning to pool beneath him. No, as soon as his weight left her body she was up and running, not caring about the blood dripping down her chin or the dull pounding in her skull as she sprinted toward the only door in the dank room.

She was alive, she was free. Now it was time to make sure she stayed that way.

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x fem!girlfriend!reader

Summary: When your long-term boyfriend is slipped a love potion—he loses his memory of you.

Genre: Angsty Fluff (happy ending)

Warnings: intense swearing, violence, being drugged/spiking someone's drink, mentions of blood, vomiting, crying, a suggestive joke, James kinda has light trauma

~ again—to the kind anon that had this idea—thank you! ~

JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST

Everyone knew it was you and James. It has always been you and James. Ever since the third term of your second year when he'd stolen you an absurd amount of chocolates and candies from Honeydukes because you had failed an exam and were sobbing in your dorm, you knew he had you hooked around his pinky. Luckily, you had him wrapped around yours just as well.

He was yours as you were his. 

It didn't worry you that you hadn't seen your boyfriend all day because N.E.W.T's were coming up and as much as he pretends not to study or care, you've never met someone more desperate for success.

James had even left you a little note signed "only yours" telling you he'd be in the library today, so you used this time to spent the day with the girls instead. 

However, you didn't expect to see what you did when you walked into the Great Hall that evening.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter look just as dumbfounded as you when James stands from his usual seat, his arms outstretching towards another girl.

Your smile falters and you freeze up, your stomach sinking as his hands find the girl's waist and he spins her around.

"What the fuck?" Marlene mutters from next to you, her arms crossed. 

"Who is that?" Mary asks, unhooking her arm from Lily's as she sympathetically touches your shoulder. You blink, unable to look away from whatever nightmare is happening.

James would never cheat on you—especially in public like this.

Never.

"Amerie something, she's in my Potions class," Marlene whispers but her gaze is hard.

James's grin is wide and the girl—Amerie apparently—holds him closer. She's beaming as her manicured hands finds his cheeks and your entire world shatters when she presses her lips to his. James leans into her kiss, one hand at her waist while the other runs in her dark curls. 

Marlene breaks at the same time as Sirius does and they march up to the couple. You're stunned, your eyes watering as you replay how your beloved boyfriend kissed another girl in front of everyone. Including you. 

James would never cheat on you—right?

Lily takes your hand and guides you towards where everyone had gathered. Marlene is being held back by Mary, but she's furious as she screams at James and Amerie. Sirius stands next to James, his arms crossed as he stares at his best friend.

When his gaze flickers to you all calm crumbles. "James," Sirius says, interrupting Marlene's shrieks, as he sounds unusually serious, "This is wrong. What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

James has never looked this confused in his life. "What are you talking about, Pads?" he asks innocently, his eyes scanning all his friends and their upset expressions.

They skim over you as if you were nothing to him— as if he hadn't held you close to his heart just yesterday and whispered how much he loved you into your hair. 

Amerie leans into James, her hand on his chest, and even Remus scoffs.

"You can't be serious, James?" Remus says. He stands and puts his hand on your other shoulder as Lily holds your other arm. He stands tall and looks stern, clearly unamused by whatever sick joke he thinks his best friend is playing. 

James's eyes widen but even Peter squeaks, "You have a girlfriend," as if to remind James.

"I know!!" James exclaims and turns to Amerie as he smiles like a love-sick fool. You feel like you're going to vomit all over your uniform. "Aren't I allowed to kiss my lovely girlfriend?" 

 Chaos ensues as Amerie holds James closer, her icy-blue eyes staring into yours with venom and malice as Marlene lunges for the two of them.

Marlene is pulled away by Mary and Lily and Sirius and Remus speak up with confusion as they jumble out accusations and disbelief.

You stand there, frozen, as your boyfriend looks right through you.

"She is your girlfriend, you dimwit!" Lily shouts and points to you. "Not this minger," Marlene adds with a hiss at Amerie, eyes dark. 

James finally looks at you and your breath hitches when you see the look in his eyes. There is no remorse or shame, just a blank expression as he looks you over.

"Who?" he asks as he turns to his friends with a genuine look of confusion on his face. His question brings silence to the group and you feel warm tears brim in your eyes.

Some part of you screams at you that the confusion is real. You know James and you know how he lies. But his voice rings in your ears as pain caves in your chest and you turn, breaking into an embarrassing jog as you run away. 

James would never cheat on you—right?

Lies. 

* * *

A few hours later, when Lily comes into the dorm with news that James is in the Hospital Wing, you don't want to care but you do. Just the mention of James in pain hurts you and Lily doesn't even have to convince you to come see him. 

You walk into the room and your eyes instantly widen. Dumbledore and Amerie stand in one corner. Amerie's eyes are bloodshot and she's pleading with Dumbledore—who looks absolutely furious.

Lily pulls you to the main dilemma and you see James sitting up in a bed, a bowl in his lap as he's encouraged to vomit. He's surrounded by Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Madame Pomfrey. 

Remus sees you and Lily and he walks up to you. 

"Is he okay?" you ask, your voice small and hoarse from your crying.

"Love potion," Remus doesn't waste time as he glances at Amerie in the corner, his jaw clenched, "she slipped it in his drink when we went to lunch. I lost him this afternoon after that but I thought he'd gone to find you. It's strong, well made, but Madame Pomfrey is convinced she can reverse the spell it has on him."

You let out a shaky breath, shoulders relaxing as you take in his words. A love potion? It had all been fake.

You turn to look at Amerie and anger swims through you. She'd drugged your boyfriend and taken him from you. You clench your fist.

If she wasn't with Dumbledore, you'd punch her. 

"But Y/n," Remus interrupts your violent fantasies and Lily takes your hand. Lily clearly knows the news Remus is about to break and it doesn't sound good. "The reason he didn't remember you is that the potions—well he was already in love with you so the potion messed up that chemistry and it was so strong it reversed all those emotions to Amerie. Erased any memory of you completely."

You feel like you can't breathe. 

"Madame Pomfrey doesn't think she can fully reverse his memory loss," Lily whispers and tightens her grip on your hand, "Obviously, he won't be in love with Amerie anymore but—we don't think he'll remember you either." 

You can barely hear her. Your eyes water as your eyes glaze over and you look behind Remus at James. Your James, who is puking his guts out and who doesn't have a clue who you are. He has no more memories of you. No more midnight secrets or scandalous touches. No more sweet confessions or fleeting arguments. Nothing.

And it's all her fault. 

You storm up to Amerie, ignoring the Headmaster's presence, as you see red. You grab her by the shoulder and punch her in the nose.

The sound resounds around the room as she falls back, a broken cry leaving her mouth as she holds her nose. Blood runs down her mouth and chin, her tears mixing with the crimson liquid as nurses rush to her. 

Your voice is unemotional when you snarl, "Stay away from him, you psycho cunt."

* * *

You sit in the common room, bandaging your bruised knuckles, as you let your tears fall freely. Your heart feels broken and crushed into absolutely nothing.

You don't even care about the detention Dumbledore was basically forced to assign you. "Violence, no matter how deserved, is never the answer," he had said and perhaps he had a point because breaking Amerie's nose didn't really make you feel any better.

She'd still taken your heart away from you. 

All you want is to reverse time and prevent James from leaving so early in the morning and slipping through your fingers. You hate yourself for not finding him in the library that afternoon. You should have studied with him—maybe then you could have prevented this. 

You unclench your fist and stare at James's crumbled note from a few hours earlier. 

Early morning for Quidditch then I'll be in the library studying. You can always join me, lovie, or go to Hogsmeade with the girls, I know they miss you. I can't always be selfish and have you all to myself, can I? 

I love you, my darling. 

Only yours,  

J

You choke on another sob and you resist the need to scream. 

"Hi," a familiar voice suddenly whispers from above you and you look up. Color has returned to James's cheeks and he's standing in front of you. He's so familiar and so different.

He doesn't look at you the same and you want to cry harder. He looks down at the note in your hand and holds out his hand when he sees a glimpse of his own chicken scratch. 

You hand it to him without a word, leaning back on the couch as you wipe your tears with your palms. You shut your eyes, feeling the cushions dip as James sits next to you and you can feel the tension in the air. You peek at him as he shakes the note and says, "So, this is real, hm? It's not some messed up nightmare? I- I don't even remember writing this. I remember this morning but—you aren't in the memory," his voice sounds shaky. 

"It's okay," you whisper, unable to say much more or you'll cry. 

James turns to you and shakes his head. "No. It isn't okay. I want to remember you," he whispers and takes your hand.

Your head snaps up, eyes widening at the sudden warmth of his touch. James puts the paper in your palm and closes it, squeezing your hand, "I obviously loved you a lot, and I think you loved me too—"

"Love," you whisper, looking him in the eyes, "I haven't stopped."

James makes a pained grimace and his hand loosens around yours. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could remember. I wish this never happened. I know I don't know you anymore or well, my brain doesn't know you but I still can't stand you being hurt because of this," he sighs, "Sirius told me everything. I have so many pictures of us in my room—my sheets smell like your perfume—I– I wish I could remember," he sounds so lost and your heart breaks.

You can't help yourself. You cup his cheek and lean your forehead onto his like you'd done a thousand times over the last years. James doesn't pull away. Instead he leans into you, as if your touch sparked a distant muscle memory.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. I-" you pause and then say, "I can help you remember, if you want?"

James doesn't hesitate and he nods, his breath unsteady, "I do. I don't understand why but my heart, well it misses you. I want to understand why." 

Your heart flutters at his words and you smile. You pull away and smile at him. His smile is weak and you know him all too well to let that slide. "What's wrong, James?" you ask and when his eyes shift, you can tell he's feeling guilty. 

"I'm sorry you lost your boyfriend. You didn't deserve that."

You sigh, "It's not your fault, okay?" you look him in the eyes and wait until he nods solemnly. "If we're meant to be, we'll figure this out, yeah?"

"Yeah," James whispers in agreement. 

* * * Six Months Later * * *

The snow falls around you as you and your friend return from The Three Broomsticks one Sunday evening. Sirius and Remus walk much faster than you and James as Sirius rambles wildly about this new muggle band Remus helped him discover, and Peter loiters behind you all as he hurries to finish reading his Transfiguration book due Monday morning—he seems quite discouraged considering the snow keeps ruining his pages. 

You are snuggled up against James, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as he adjusts your scarf and presses a kiss to your head. You sigh, continuing your conversation about how very clearly chocolate is the superior ice cream flavor, and James just listens even though he has no clue why you're talking about ice cream in the dead of winter. 

Suddenly, your voice dies down and you tense when you see who's walking towards you. She's with three of her best friends—snotty Ravenclaws with egos larger than their brains—and you feel sick as all those horrible feelings come bubbling up again.

Amerie had been suspended for six months after what she had done to James and while you and your friends insisted she be expelled, your outburst of violence had inevitably lightened her sentence.

Dumbledore didn't want a scandal on his hands and Amerie's parents were well off—surprisingly more so than the Potters. 

James senses your tension and he looks up too, his stomach sinking. Amerie is staring at you both and her friends are whispering. You look between her and James, sensing how uncomfortable he is with her presence and anger boils inside you. 

Six months. Six months of peace and time you had to rebuild your relationship with him. Six months you spent taking him to all your favorite places, reminding him of all those secrets he had already earned, and telling him stories he should remember.

Six months to catch up on six years, all because of her. 

You feel James's gloved hand find yours and he squeezes it, pressing his lips into your hair near your ear and he murmurs, "Ignore her, my love." His voice sounds a little strained and you look at him, the warmth of his hazel eyes calming you. 

You nod and press a kiss to his lips. You can feel Amerie's eyes on you as you pass but you just walk faster. Once she and her friends are behind you, you squeeze James's hand too. "Are you okay?" you whisper. 

James had been very open with you about how much what had happened scared him and still does. There were times he remembered snippets of you from before, but mostly nothing, and that scares him. I never want to lose you again, he had said three months into the six and you knew he meant it. 

When James Potter loved, he loved hard, and it became very obvious his feelings for you had returned even stronger than they had been. 

"Yeah," he whispers, his voice small. 

You pause, turning around and taking his cheeks in your hands, encouraging him to look at you. "Baby, it's okay if it made you feel uncomfortable to see her. It's normal," you say, kissing his forehead and leaning against it. 

James holds you close and kisses the crook of your neck, which causes you to giggle. 

"I love you," he mumbles and you grin.

"I love you," you say and kiss his lips again.

James runs a hand in your hair and sighs, lifting his head and watching Amerie and her friends disappear down the road. "As much as I hate her for what she did, I am sort of grateful," he whispers. 

"Oh?" I ask, caressing his cheek lovingly. 

"Mmhm—it was an absolute pleasure falling in love with you all over again," James says sincerely and your heart flutters at his words. 

You laugh and ruffle his messy hair. "You're such a dork," you chuckle. 

James laughs now too, "It's true!" 

Suddenly, you shriek lightly when you feel cold snow glide down your neck from inside your scarf. You and James spin around at the same time, catching Sirius as he makes another snowball and barks out a laugh, "Ooops."

Sirius smirks and as if on cue, James bends over and pats down his own snowball to throw at Sirius in your defense. 

"Keep your grubby snowballs away from my girl, Pads," James shouts in between his laughter as he runs after his best friend. You hear Sirius mumble something that sounds like, "Ooh, kinky," before James shoves snow into his mouth. 

You just smile, your heart feeling completely full.

[crescenthistory]

can u do a remus x reader where they are best friends and remus has been in love with reader forever, and reader is kind of a player because she also loves remus but didnt know that the feeling was reciprocated

i did a bit of a different take on this, hope you enjoy it babe

Words: 4.8k

Warnings: suggestive references and themes (talk of shagging, etc.), drinking and partying in hogwarts, fem!reader, use of y/n, sirius' pov for half then your pov (with all the mental tirades that includes), partier!reader more so than player, you have snogged james and mary (in the past), platonic!sirius but borderline fwb at one point, platonic!wolfstar, pining!remus, secretly pining!reader, no slutshaming, background jegulily, confessions, happy ending ofc

Sirius was in a bit of a difficult situation.

On the one hand, he had a beautiful girl all but crawling into his lap in the middle of an admittedly good party and he knew she would be a hell of a great time.

On the other hand, he was absolutely certain that his best friend was in love with her, despite his many denials, and he was not sure if she herself knew yet.

She had to, right? You had to know that Remus was in love with you with how he had been making puppy eyes at you more or less since first year. The two of you were the best of friends and went everywhere together – it was simply impossible that you had not had a conversation or two about it. But then again, Sirius and Remus were also the best of friends and he had not heard so much as a squeak about any such conversation taking place, let alone him admitting his feelings.

Could you truly be so oblivious? You had to know, and are choosing to live your life as you wanted regardless, as is your right. Would Sirius be an arse if he rejected your current casual advances because of Remus? If he was, would he be an arse for telling you about Remus' feelings or for dictating how a woman conducts herself based on the feelings of a man?

Sirius was way too drunk to be thinking any of these thoughts.

Yet, immediate action was required in order to handle the situation at hand. You and Sirius had been sitting beside one another for a while now, your leg thrown over in between his thighs, his arm wrapped securely around your shoulders, your hand on his chest. The music was absolutely blaring, the alcohol was flowing freely through your bodies, making the places where you touch that much hotter, in all semblances of the word. Sirius knew that if he was to tilt his head down to look at you, your lips would surely smash together.

It was not uncommon for you to shag some lucky bastard at these parties. You were carefree and fun in that way that made you fit seamlessly into your group of friends when Remus introduced you. It was never serious or deep on either front, Sirius knew as much – you and Mary had an arrangement of mutual fun going on for a while and you had even snogged James once before he got with Regulus and Lily.

Sirius participated equally as enthusiastically and the two of you were good friends, so really, it made sense that you ended up in this situation at last.

Still, sirens were flaring in his head screaming "BAD FRIEND, BAD FRIEND" the longer he sat with you like this. Because whenever you did find someone to hook up with at a party, you always left Remus' side to do so, as you were otherwise attached at the hip. And Sirius was the one left to watch him struggle to keep his face from crumbling every time. He was also always the one to poke the bear – or the wolf, if you please – by confronting Remus about his feelings for you constantly, both in a playful and serious manner.

As the designated campaigner for "Remus get your shit together and kiss her yourself", he should not be making that more difficult for his best mate.

He also should not get involved in whatever delicate situation you two had going on, but when his eyes flicked across the room, terrified to make eye contact with Remus wherever he was, determination grew in his chest. Something had to be done.

"Are you good, Siri?" you asked from beside him, words slurred just enough for him to know you were tipsy but not so much that he was concerned.

He took a deep breath. "Actually. Can we talk? Alone?"

Your body grew a bit tense against his, enough that he knew you understood this was not some scheme to get you alone. "Sure," you said wearily, already detangling your body from his.

The two of you got up and hastily made for the portrait hole. Sirius hoped that the cool stone walls outside would help him sober up enough to be able to communicate effectively.

His heart sank just a little bit when he caught sight of familiar tawny hair leaning against the wall by the exit. He knew all too well how this looked. Remus' eyes lit up when they landed on you, his mouth opening to make some sort of greeting when the words died on his tongue at the sight of a guilty Sirius trailing behind you.

You seemed nonplussed. "Oh, hi Rem," you said brightly, almost giggling around your words from the alcohol. You stepped off your path for a second to press a kiss to his cheek, smiling softly at him. "You having fun?"

Remus' face seemed strained, but he kept his smile up, even if just for you. "Yes, dovey. Are you?"

You nodded and squeezed his hand before taking a few steps back and away from him. "Very much so. We're just heading out for a quick chat."

He looked quickly between you and Sirius, never quite meeting his eyes, and Sirius felt as if he was being incriminated just by standing there with his hair slightly tousled from you playing with it. The hurt he could see play across his best mate's face was exactly the type of thing he was hoping to avoid by the awkward conversation he was about to have.

Remus' smile grew more thin-lipped than before as his gaze settled somewhere on your cheek. "Great. Have fun."

You just nodded once more before turning on your heel and making a beeline for the door, seemingly unaware of what just transpired between the three of you. Sirius stalled for a moment, wondering if he should say something, but decided against it in case Remus tried to stop him once he realised what the chat actually will be about.

It didn't much matter, though, because Remus stalked off without ever meeting his eyes.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius hurried over to the door to the common room that you were holding open from the outside, smiling back at him. You truly were such a lovely girl, and he hoped to Merlin he was not fucking anything up for you right now.

Stepping through the portrait, he let the Fat Lady slam shut behind him, cringing at the sudden silence that enveloped the two of you. Though, the air was as much of a welcome reprieve as he had expected it to be, and he breathed in a huge chunk of it to steal his nerves.

"Listen, Sirius, if things got too touchy in there then I'm sor–" you tried to begin, but he all but threw his hands up between you in a display of innocence.

"No, no, dollface, don't you worry about that one bit," he laughed out nervously. "I was very much enjoying myself. I just realised– fuck how do I say this?"

He tried to think clearly and find a way to communicate what he knew in his heart to be true.

"No swearing in my halls!" The shrill voice he knew to belong to the portrait that had tortured him for seven years sounded behind him.

"Sorry, ma'am," he said rather petulantly and held out his hand for you to take so that he could lead you down the hall and away from her. He also hoped you read it as the display of well-meaning and friendship that it was.

You accepted his hand gracefully and his heart did calm down just the slightest from it.

The two of you hurried down the hallway, feeling every bit the teenagers that you were, settling down in a corner just far enough away for privacy. The cool stone did marvels for his overheating, and Sirius took full advantage of it by leaning his head back against them.

"What did you realise?" you asked then.

"Huh?" he answered, admittedly quite dumbly.

You had the decency to laugh at him instead of mock him. "Earlier. You said I didn't do anything wrong, but that you realised something."

Sirius heaved a deep breath. "Right, right," he murmured before clearing his throat. Was he overstepping? Possibly. Would he be ripping the bandaid off anyway? Absolutely. "See, I was having fun earlier and saw it as what it was – just two friends having fun, yeah? But I fear not everyone feels the same."

"I swear to Godrick, if you accuse me of having feelings for you, Black, I will chuck you off the Astronomy Tower," you said through a laugh.

"I'm thankfully not that conceited, babe. But it wasn't you I was referring to."

You looked at him as if to say who, then?

"I think– or no, I actually know for certain, even if the stupid sod won't admit it. Erm, okay, so. Wow, how do I explain that? He's my best mate, you know, and I–"

"Sirius, you are making no sense right now."

"Remus is in love with you."

You had opened your mouth to volley back, clearly expecting him to still be stumbling over his words, but now it was just left hanging open as you stared at him, baffled. The two of you sat in silence for much longer than Sirius could have expected, or perhaps that was just his nerves dragging out the moment. You seemed to be fighting for breath.

"Excuse me, what?!" you breathed out, voice increasing in crescendo throughout your sentence. The what ricocheted down the hall; Sirius grimaced.

"So, you didn't know," he surmises, having answered his mental tirade from earlier. "I honestly don't know how you haven't seen it, that boy has literally been mooning for you for years. I'm surprised we haven't had to keep the actual Moony from tracking you down and wagging his tail at you once a month."

Your face told him that this was not a time for jokes, yet somehow you still laughed at that. Sirius realised with horror that your laugh sounded rather wet and saw you aggressively wiping at your face, as if you were about to start crying. "I'm so confused," you whispered.

Sirius sat there rather dumbly, unsure how to make it any more clear. "I don't know what to tell you, babe. He has feelings for you, always has. I don't blame you if you don't return them and I'm sure neither will he – but, yeah no, I figured you should know. And while I totally respect you shagging whoever you want, I just don't think he could handle it if it were me. So I have to back out."

Miraculously you nodded in understanding, despite his ramblings. Your movements were slow, as if you were trying to let his words settle in your bones, processing years of misinterpreting in a matter of seconds.

Sirius wanted to help. "I've tried to get him to tell you himself, but he hasn't even admitted it out loud yet."

That seemed to snap your attention back to him, a fierce look growing rapidly in your eyes. "He hasn't told you? Then how do you know?!" You waved your hands between the two of you to emphasise his point.

Not quite what he expected, Sirius found himself scrambling for words. "Everyone knows! It's literally written all over his face whenever you're near!"

"I've been looking at that same face a lot and I haven't seen that?" you question then, wielding your argument as if you were about to disagree with him.

"Y/N. Baby." Sirius tried to articulate his words clearly. "Remus has feelings for you. I swear on my life. You don't have to do anything with that information, I just had to tell you."

You narrowed your eyes at him, seemingly scrutinising every inch of his face. "If this is a prank, you're dead, Black."

"It's not a prank. I swear on Effie and Monty Potter, the absolute angels they are." He held his hands over his heart for emphasis.

"You could be wrong."

"I'm not though."

You hummed in consideration, still not letting him out from the hold of your inspecting eyes. "I have to go find out." You said it as if it was plain and simple, and before Sirius knew it, you were standing above him.

"What?" he said, again dumbly. He should never drink again.

"Thank you, Siri, I'll see you later," you called as you were already moving down the hallway at an impressive speed, given you had been shocked still mere seconds ago.

Sirius remained sitting on the floor letting his head drop back against the stone and his eyes fall shut. He has either taken one for the team or massively fucked up – the best part is that he still had no idea which one it would be.

This was bound to be an eventful evening.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Your heart was resounding through your entire body and you could barely feel the tips of your fingers – not at all because of the alcohol, you were actually quite certain you had more or less sobered up by now.

No, it was because Remus loved you. Remus Lupin, the best friend you could ask for, the unrequited, unattainable love of your life, for some unidentified reason loved you.

According to Sirius, at least.

Merlin, how you would skin him alive, should he be wrong.

The party had picked up its pace in the few minutes you and Sirius spent outside in the hallway. Someone had conjured up a light fog to roll around on the floor, allegedly to help with the atmosphere but no doubt it was really because the floor was becoming too filthy to look at directly. Warm bodies pressed into each other everywhere and there was a smell of sweat and drinks that on another day might have been enticing. Right now, you only had one focus.

"Where's Remus?" Your words were rushed as you latched onto the nearest arm you could find, grinning brightly when the familiar face of James came into view.

"Hiya, love," he greeted merrily, his other arm wrapped protectively around Lily. "What's up?"

"Remus. Where is he?" you repeated, albeit a bit more abashedly as you saw Lily glance at James sideways.

"Oh," James said and furrowed his brows, as if he was thinking. Then, he turned his head down to look at Lily who was already regarding him. "Where do we think Moony is, darling?"

Lily shifted her gaze between the two of you while biting her lip. She seemed to be making a quick appraisal. "I believe he headed up to the dorm early. Something about feeling tired?"

Nothing got past Lily, and you could tell from her somewhat smug yet concerned expression that she knew something you did not. Or, perhaps you did.

You let out a quick breath. "Oh." You couldn't help the slight guilt that settled in your stomach – even though you still couldn't know for certain that it was because of you. "I'll go find him, then."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. "He might want to just sleep it off."

Sleep it off?

You nodded, confidence in your choice growing with every second. "I'm sure, yeah, but thanks Lils."

There was not a speck of judgement in her eyes, though her smile remained apprehensive. "I mean, he always wants to be with you, so it should be fine." She winked at you and suddenly your stomach was dropping because did everyone but you know?

Well, perhaps not James because he looked between you and Lily, entertained confusion written all over his face. "Okay, then. Great? See ya later, yeah?"

You squeezed both of their forearms in thanks before stepping backwards away from them, almost knocking into two people on the way. God, this place was packed. You threw some general sound of agreement that hopefully sounded as warm as you intended it before all but running towards the stairs to the boys' dormitory. On the way, you swear you almost lost your life twice, tripping over feet that grew invisible in the fog.

By the time your steps landed on the stairs, you were able to squeeze into the stone wall and quickly run up while avoiding those hanging over the railing. Truly hazardous, these Gryffindors.

The trek down the hall to the dorm Remus had shared with his friends for all seven years of your friendship was as practiced as it was easy. Yet, as your mind was replaying your conversations with Sirius and Lily over and over at record speed, it felt like it stretched on for miles, your own road to Calvary.

Your fingers acted off of instinct as they reached up to quietly rap on the door with two knuckles.

"Sod off," you heard Remus' muffled voice call through the door. You couldn't help the small smile that spread across your face.

You cracked the door open just enough to poke your head through and catch sight of him sprawled out on his bed, face down. Your smile widened. "Me too?"

It was as if his body was a push poppet that suddenly had its strings drawn taut again – his spine straightened and his head whipped around to look at you wide-eyed. He clearly had not expected you. He made some sounds that could probably classify as guffawing before he snapped his mouth shut to sit up and collect himself. The whole process was barely a few seconds, but the syrupy effect on time from the hallway seemed to have joined you into his dorm. Relief washed through your body when he smiled at you, even if it seemed somewhat strained.

"Of course not dove, sorry."

You slipped the rest of your body in through the door and shut it quietly behind you. The silence in this dorm had never felt so complete before.

In your rush to get to him, you hadn't once thought to think of what to say to him. How could you ever possibly breach the topic? It seemed like he could sense your hesitation because he sat more comfortably on the edge of his bed, wool sock-clad feet planted firmly against the floor. He had an inquisitive yet somewhat nervous look on his face.

He beat you to it. "You alright? Shouldn't you be out there, having fun?"

You couldn't help reading some judgement in that, knowing what you now maybe know. "What's that supposed to mean?" you asked, not quite able to hide the potential hurt in your voice.

Remus could pick up on your every mood and his eyes widened comically and he raised his hand as if he was about to talk to a scared wild animal. "Nothing! No, not like that, I just meant – it's a party. You love parties. Did someone hurt you?" His voice grew small by the end of his sentence. You feared someone was referring to Sirius, the only reason he could imagine you leaving a gathering to go be alone with him. You hated the idea.

There were probably a hundred better ways to go about this, but your mind felt muddy with the overwhelming feelings, your earlier drinks and the damn fog that somehow had made its way into your lungs. And you just could not believe any of it.

You were not proud of what you said next.

"Remus, are you in love with me?"

If it had been quiet before, there were no words for the shift in atmosphere after that question. It was like you were alone in a black hole, just the two of you.

Remus' head actually reared back from shock, both from your suddenness and the question itself. His pretty mouth hung slightly open, bottom lip making a slight jerky movement you could only describe as quivering.

"I– what?" He let out, it was somewhere between a gasp and an exclamation.

You took a few steps closer, so that you were standing in front of him, feeling the sudden need to be near, to hear, to know. "Sirius told me."

Remus jerked up too, suddenly standing within arm reach. His eyes were fluttering and his mouth opening and closing in a way that almost confirmed it on its own. "Y/N, I–"

"Remus." You interrupted quietly, sensing his continued shock and oncoming fib. "Don't lie, please."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered then, eyes growing glossy as they flicked all over your face. "I– I'm sorry."

Your eyebrows furrowed as you took in his pained expression. "I don't understand?" you said weakly. Why was he apologising? "Remus, are you in love with me?"

He shut his eyes and turned his head to the side. Your fears were confirmed when he brought up a hand to wipe at the part of his face you couldn't see. "Please," he begged. "Don't."

Don't make me say it.

You have to.

"Remus." Your tone matched his despairing one – his name was your plea.

He turned his head back to you and met your eyes head on with his own red-rimmed ones. A slow sigh was let out through his nose, the sound of defeat, giving in to you as he always did.

Gods, he always did.

"I'm in love with you," he whispered then. Clearly, without any hint at insecurity or deceit.

You took one small step closer, bringing your trembling fingers up to lightly ghost over his cheeks – not quite holding his face, but almost, millimetres apart. You were sure you looked half-crazed as you stood there in silent shock, studying his face in a flurry.

There was no contempt in his face at your stupor. Just guilt and sorrow.

"Why?" you breathed out.

"I'm sorry," was all he offered, once more.

"No, no, don't say that," you insisted, voice suddenly growing stronger. More certain. Your hands made proper contact with his cheeks, and you could feel him deflate beneath your touch. "Please don't be sorry."

At last some confusion drifted into his eyes as he regarded you. "Don't tell me not to apologise; that just makes me want to apologise for apologising." There was light humour in his tone, a smidge of hope. Hope that you wouldn't believe him awful for falling in love with you.

He was in love with you.

You laughed then, not just at his poor attempt at a joke but at the situation, at the prospect.

"You love me?" There was no hiding the absolute awe in your voice.

The guilt was still there, but it made room for softness as he gave you the smallest, saddest smile. "Of course, dove."

You breathed a sigh of relief and leaned forward to kiss his smile into a happy one.

Remus’ body immediately stiffened beneath your touch, shock radiating through him. Then, beautifully, you felt him soften once more beneath you, felt his eyelashes brush your cheeks as his eyes fluttered shut, felt him blow the air from his lungs through his nose in a long sigh, breath warm and inviting against you. Slowly, you parted your lips and brought his between yours, deepening the kiss. Unlike your movements earlier, there was no urgency, there was just him in your hands, him against your lips, his tongue against yours.

You let one of your hands travel to the nape of his neck where you played with his shorter strands of hair, breaking the kiss to lean your forehead against his. Your eyes remained closed as you soaked up up the moment, but you could feel his own burn through your skin. Could hear him guffawing again. A smile settled permanently onto your lips.

“You love me?” you repeated, knowing the answer, but wanting to feel the words on your tongue once more, mixing with him.

He nodded fervently against you, jostling your head slightly to which you let out a soft giggle.

“You– I–” he began, cutting himself off. “Do you…?” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“I love you,” you whispered, in awe at getting to say the words aloud in this context. “I’m so in love with you, sweet boy.”

His body disconnected from yours briefly, forcing you to open your eyes and support your own weight, as he leaned back to stare at you incredulously, confused, shocked. His eyebrows were furrowed almost as if he were mad, but you knew in your heart that he was not.

“I– no, that makes no sense,” he whispered almost to himself, shaking his head as he tried to process your words. You fought not to laugh at that – because it would seem like you were laughing at him and that was not nice. You would have more than enough time to be not nice later, for now he needed your patience. “You? Love me?”

You nodded with a smile. His body was still close to yours and you took the opportunity to wrap your arms around his waist, interlocking your fingers at the small of his back.

There was so much emotion and vulnerability swimming in his eyes, you would almost feel bad if you weren’t so unbelievably happy.

“I never thought you could have feelings for me,” you confessed breathlessly, grinning wickedly despite the pain you were sharing. “Here I’ve been, running around thinking the greatest love I had ever felt was wholly unreciprocated.”

This only seemed to confuse him further, though he was relaxing beneath your touch. “You… This whole time?”

“I suppose so,” you mused. “I only realised two years ago, though.”

Remus let out a groan and a laugh at the same time and then – thanks to any and every god – he leaned his forehead on your shoulder, burying his face in you. “I cannot believe I’ve been torturing myself and you’ve been… in love with me too. This whole time.”

You dared to kiss the side of his head from where he was leaning against you and tightened your hold on him. Something you had done a thousand times over as his friend, yet this sent entirely new sparks through you.

As if he just thought of something, he lifted his head suddenly to furrow his brows at you. “Why would you ever think I couldn't love you?”

You tilted your head at him. “How many times have you not brushed Sirius off when he makes jokes about us? Or said you would never want to be in a relationship? I thought you might view me as a sister by now.” Despite your teasing, residue hurt still clung to your words.

The grimace was instant and Remus shook his head as if that is the worst thing he has ever heard. “Gods, no, I sure do hope not.” 

You both laughed quietly, carefully. His hands were slow as they went up to hold your jaw, fingers brushing the side of your neck in reverence. “I’m sorry I made you think that, dovey.”

“Don’t be. Then I have to be sorry for snogging our friends in front of you.”

Remus flushed slightly at your words, but the awed affection plastered all over his every feature did not waver. “I don’t want you to be,” he murmured while still caressing you carefully. “I just… I just want you. Will you be mine, dovey?”

Your face inched closer and closer to his, your grins growing mirrored against each other. “I am yours,” you whispered against his lips before closing the distance once more.

The most heavenly kisses you ever shared would be those with your lovely Remus.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

“Oi! Pads!”

Sirius flinched with his whole body, looking over his shoulder with a sheepish smile to face his inevitable death in the form of one Remus Lupin. He had been waiting for it all night as he partied with James, and had managed to get halfway through his second game of butterbeer pong before it was time for his execution.

Reaching out for James’ hand, he shook it firmly and matter-of-factly. “Lovely knowing you mate, take good care of my brother, yeah?”

James seemed entirely nonchalant to the whole ordeal, shaking his hand in return. “Yeah, sure, safe travels Padfoot.”

Sirius then turned to Remus who was descending the stairs from the dormitory, holding his hands up in defence. “Okay, hear me out–” he begins but he was cut off.

He was cut off by a hug. 

Remus borderline slams into him, locking his arms over his shoulders and dragging him close to his chest. Awkwardly, Sirius returns the favour, patting him on the back and making what the fuck eyes at Mary over Remus’ shoulder.

“You’re a meddling bloody bastard,” Remus said into his ear. 

Here we go.

“But thank you.”

Oh. Oh.

He reared his head back so that he could see Remus and the shy yet pleased smile he wore, and Sirius’ whole face split into a painful, beaming smile. “It worked?” he asked giddily, jostling Remus where he was still trapped in the hug.

“Yeah, yeah,” Remus mumbled, though his grin grew.

The victorious, screeching holler Sirius let out was so loud it could be heard down to the dungeons.

[meelusinee]

YOUR SECRET SANTA 𖤐 S.B X READER

in which your sirius’ secret santa for the year (and you also have a hugemungus introvert crush on him)

pairing: sirius black x potter!reader tags: christmas fluff! word count: 3k warnings: just fluff, yet again

author's note: AN UPDATE: I FIXED THE WHOLE COPY ISSUE IM SO SORRY YAWL my tumblr copied it twice and really weirdly for some reason??? anyways, i have very quickly learned that sirius’ energy is very hard to capture at 3-5am in the morning after studying for psych finals BUT oh my gawd i could not not post this. so just imagine that your like the fire to melt sirius’ sugary heart and that he’s super soft and sweet with you okay

SECRET SANTA | S.B X READER

You haven’t had this much fun in a long time.

It had been a long day for you, full of studying and reading up on topics for exams. You had tutoring lessons to get to tomorrow, along with three extra classes to get to.

Studying, however, was apparently not allowed. At least, that’s what Lily must’ve thought as she dragged you to the Gryffindor Common Room with her. Her friends were sitting around the fireplace, Marlene practically laid on Dorcas’ lap like a cat. Mary was sick, currently locked up in her room.

Remus sat closest to the fireplace in a single arm chair, reading a rather large tome. You sighed internally, the sight of the book reminding you of the studies you should be committing yourself to right now. James and Sirius were sitting on the largest sofa near the couch, Peter spread out on the floor with his hands crossed on his stomach.

“Bambi!” James called out, standing up dramatically to pull you in a hug. “Oh, I’ve missed you! You’ve been locked up forever, you know? Your studies have kidnapped you.”

“Oh hush,” you chuckled, a small squeaking sound escaping your throat as he pulled you to sit down between him and Sirius.

“Hi Sirius,” you smiled softly as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, leaning your head on his shoulder. He was always rather warm, no matter what the conditions were.

“Hi there, faon.” he whispered. Lily always liked to point out that he calmed down significantly around you, especially in the recent years.

“So,” Lily said ominously, standing on one of the coffee tables with a wide smirk. She had really been shining recently, through her friends and her studies. “We’re going to do Secret Santa this year!” 

“Secret Santa?” Sirius asked confusedly, tilting his head to the side slightly. “What’s that?”

“You put your names in a bucket, kind of like the TriWizard Tournament,” Remus began to explain to them, closing his book after bookmarking it. “Everyone picks a name, and you have to get a present for the person.” 

“So it’s randomized?” Marlene asked Remus, smiling brightly at that. “If I get James, I’m giving him a stink bomb!”

“No you won’t!” James said dramatically, clutching his chest. “That’s so wrong of you!”

“Hush, everyone.” Lily said, pulling out a metal bucket. “Now put your names in here.”

You chuckled quietly at her directness, watching as everyone else grabbed a small ticket and wrote their names down. Sirius grabbed you a ticket and pen, letting you write your name down before he put it in the bin for you.

Lily hummed softly once everyone put their names in, shaking the bucket before putting it down on the table. “Now, you have to remember,” she said to them, wagging her finger. “You can’t say who you got. That’s what makes it a secret.”

“So no tattle-tailing?” Peter said, a small pout in his voice as he sat up to pick a name. “Aw man.” 

“It’s fine, Pete.” James smiled, ruffling his hair.

You looked around the room as everyone made a small yet somewhat line to get their names. Sirius grabbed you a name along with his, holding his name away from your vision with a small smirk.

“You’re ridiculous.” you chuckled, opening your name. It was a fancy cursive you almost couldn’t read, the S extremely dramatic. Sirius Black.

“Do we have to get something specific?” you asked curiously, closing the small slip before James could look over your shoulder. “Like something comfortable, or something school related?”

“Nothing specific, just whatever would suit them best.” Lily said, closing her flap as she sat down next to James. 

You nodded at that, looking down at the flap. You really needed to brainstorm.

It had been a couple of days since you had gotten Sirius’ name in the Secret Santa bin, your mind running haywire with gift ideas. You had tried to study for your final exams, but you haven’t truly been able to focus on it at all.

So you tried to examine what to get him instead.

Sirius Black, while practically estranged from his family, still had access to a bunch of money. He had steadily built himself a fund of galleons over the years ever since he was in Third Year, opening a small bank account in Gringotts in order to save himself money. Which meant that he didn’t need anything material.

You knew that he loved the color red. He loved messy, though he also loved fancy and neat. Whatever it was that you were going to get him, it was going to be something custom.

Lily had invited you shopping with her, both of you heading to the Hogsmeade shops for present ideas. Snow was falling on the both of you, scarves wrapped around your necks and mouths.

“Who’d you get?” she asked curiously.

You looked at her confusedly, eyebrows furrowing at her question. “I thought you weren’t meant to tell.” you muttered to her.

“Well, if you have me, probably not.” she shrugged, smirking softly. “But I won’t tell anyone if you don’t.”

You nodded before looking down at the floor, still not sure what to even get. “I got Sirius.”

Lily gasped, jumping up and down excitedly. “I got James! Maybe we can get them something to match, I bet they’d love that.”

You nodded slowly at that, looking through the closest shop windows.

It was a cute charm shop, currently filled with Christmas themed things. There was different kinds of candies, candy canes and peppermints displayed at the center.

“Do you see that?” you asked, pointing at the window. “Those charms are cute.”

Lily looked over at what you were looking at. The window had a small poster on one of the panels, promoting an animal charm with star charms stamped out of the metal. “We could get a deer and a dog charm!”

You smiled softly at the idea, both of you walking inside of the store. Lily walked around the store excitedly, picking up all sorts of trinkets and small gifts for Secret Santa and regular Christmas presents. You were looking at the charms still, the gears in your mind turning.

The dog charm would be custom made, potentially gold if you were lucky. You could most likely get a roll of wrapping paper to match it. A small present wrapped with a red bow and peppermint, all with a small charm attached to it.

The idea was custom, something that was cute and made just for Sirius. A cute wrapping that fed into his Gryffindor ego, and something one couldn’t exactly buy at a store.

And that thought got you thinking.

You began walking around the store, looking at gift ideas for Sirius. At first, nothing was sticking out. That was until you stumbled on the journal section. 

They were regular journals, though you quickly figured that you could decorate it. You bought a new pen as well, along with small lace rolls and small sheets of paper to decorate it.

You also bought a small box to wrap it in when you were done, meeting up with Lily outside. She had about three big bags, contrasting heavily with your single small bag.

“What’d you get?” she asked excitedly.

You smiled softly, feeling the Christmas spirit absolutely radiating off of her. “You’ll see.”

You were sitting in your dorm room with Mary, who was still sick from a flu that she had gotten. She was sitting a bit away from you, but you decided to let her watch you make your present for Sirius.

“Thanks for letting me watch.” Mary whispered, her voice hoarse from the flu. “Really, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome.” you smiled softly, your pen nib rubbing against the paper as words formed on the pages. You had been obsessively writing in the journal for days at this point, rewriting letters you had secretly written for him down from memory. 

When you first met Sirius, you were in your First Year while he was in his Second Year. You went on the train along with James, sitting down in the corner of the compartment. 

The memory is still vivid in your mind, the way he sat down next to you and asked about the book you were reading. He was probably trying to impress you was what James and Remus had told you, he wanted to make a good impression on someone so close to James after all. But you still enjoyed it. And he stayed quiet and calm with you, even to this day. 

You remember your first birthday with him, how he got you your favorite author’s novels all hand signed. He had said that the present was a casual present for him to get, but you had been moved to tears almost instantly. You remember his first birthday with you as well, his only request being that he was able to hang out with his friends. He didn’t want any presents that year, the only gift he got being a sweater that your mother made for him.

Suffice to say, you had a lot of memories with him. And you liked to journal them all, a mix between day to day entries, memoir-like posts, or poems. Some were embarrassing, sure, but you planned on putting them in anyways.

“Who’s the journal for anyways?” Mary asked curiously, leaning forward.

“It’s for Sirius.” you whispered quietly, somewhat wishing that you didn’t have to say it. God forbid that she say that the journal was a bad idea, especially when you were already halfway through.

“Sirius?” she asked. “You actually got a gift idea?”

“What do you mean?” you asked.

Mary chuckled, but that quickly turned into a coughing fit. “I tried to get him a good present for his birthday last year, but nothing worked.” she explained, taking a sip of water. “I mean, what do you give a man who has everything?”

“Uh,” you mumbled, looking down at your lap. “Something of yours that he wouldn’t have?”

“Like a whole journal’s worth of handwriting samples?” she joked, smiling tiredly.

You chuckled softly at that, gently nudging her with your elbow as you continued to write in the journal. You were somewhat near the end, about one fourth of it left to go.

“It’s time to give out the presents!” Lily said, ringing a small bell in her hands as everyone gathered around the fireplace.

You were standing by Remus in the back, both of you holding cups of hot chocolate in your hands.

“Who’d you get?” he asked curiously.

“I got Sirius.” you mumbled, taking a sip of the hot chocolate before pointing to your present underneath the tree. “The one with the red bow and peppermint. Who did you get?”

“Lily.” he nodded, taking a sip of his own drink. “She’s been wanting to check out this one author, but his books are pricey. So I bought her a small starter set of his books.”

“That’s a good present.” you whispered softly.

Remus nodded, chuckling softly. “I also got her a book on Quidditch I told her to hide, that way she could impress James. Could you imagine the expression on his face when she starts talking about Quidditch?”

“Oh, it’d be priceless.” you chuckled, already imagining the expression on his face. 

“I know.” he chuckled, turning to you with a curious expression. “What’d you get Sirius?”

“Me?” you asked, clearing your throat. “I got him a journal.” you said awkwardly.

He nodded, not pushing any further. The bell rang again, Lily’s voice calling out to you both a bit impatiently. “Get over here you two!”

Remus chuckled softly as he sat by the fireplace, you taking your spot next to Sirius. Your head found its way to his shoulder as the presents magically sorted themselves, yours landing neatly right in front of you.

It was a stack of boxes that had an ornate wrapping with a pure silk ribbon of your favorite color, a small chocolate hanging off the bow.

You could tell immediately that it was Sirius’ gift.

“Sirius.” you chuckled softly, your hands pausing as they moved to unwrap the presents. You didn’t want to mess it up, especially since it looked so expensive. No doubt he spent hours on it. 

“You can open it anytime you want.” he chuckled softly at you, hand resting behind you as he leaned back just a bit. “I don’t mind if you rip it.”

“Are you sure?” you asked, looking over at him confusedly. “It looks so, like, effort-y.”

“Effort-y?” he chuckled, barking out a laugh.

“Like you put in effort!” you said, giggling softly at his teasing as your hands eventually moved to the bow. “This silk is so soft.”

“It is.” he said, a small smile resting on his face.

You opened the box at the top first. It was a vintage necklace wrapped in a heart-shaped box, a small flower detail painted on it.

“This is,” you whispered, looking at him as you held it in his hands. It was pure metal, you already knew, most likely costing hundreds of Galleons. “Sirius, this is so pretty.”

“It reminded me of you.” Sirius whispered, holding out his hands so he could put it on you. “A lot of things do, to be fair.”

You chuckled wetly at that, sniffling as you pulled your hair up so he could clasp it around your neck. You felt like you were the only two people in the room, everything fading out in the background.

“You have two more to open.” he whispered, putting your hair back in place.

“Okay.” you whispered, opening the first one. It was copies of novels you had mentioned over the past year, some of them you mentioned over six months ago. “Sirius,”

“I felt you’d still want to read them.” he smiled softly, hand caressing your back. “I had Mary tell me if you had them in your room, used cough drops as a bribery.”

“Using a woman’s sickness to your advantage in Secret Santa?” you asked him with a small smile.

He winked at you, putting the last box in front of your lap. It was arguably rather large. “Open it.”

Your hands tore into this one, a gasp escaping your mouth as you saw it. It was a sweater, obviously hand-knit. “Sirius, where did you buy this?”

“Made.” he whispered, chuckling at the shock on your face. “I took small classes with your mom, she helped me make it for you. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you, honestly.”

“You,” you whispered, looking at him incredulously as you felt tears come to your eyes. “You are absolutely ridiculous, you know that?”

“Only for you.” he winked dramatically, looking down at the box in front of him. “Now, I assume that this is from you, right?”

“Uh,” you whispered, nodding. “Yeah, it is.”

He smiled brightly, opening the present carefully before gasping. “A journal?”

“It’s something that a man who has everything wouldn’t have.” you whispered anxiously, fidgeting with your nail beds.

Sirius’ eyes darted over the journal, opening it to look at the different pages. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped slightly, small tears coming to his eyes as he read the introduction.

“Do you like it?” you asked anxiously.

“Y/N, this is,” he whispered, a wet laugh escaping his throat. “The best present I’ve ever gotten.”

You sighed softly at that, smiling as he closed the journal and looked up at you. You squeaked softly as he pulled you into a hug, wrapping your arms back around him.

“Godric, I love you.” he whispered.

“Y/N!” 

You turned around to find Sirius walking up to you, the rain outside becoming background noise the closer that he came to you.

“Sirius?” you asked, pulling your jacket further around yourself. It was cold in the library.

“I love you.”

Those words both broke and caused a silence you weren’t sure if you liked or not. He loved you? What did that even mean? Was it platonic or romantic? Who randomly walks up to someone proclaiming their love, in a library near closing? 

Sirius, apparently.

“You what?” you asked confusedly.

“I love you.” he said, walking forward and taking your hands in his. “I mean, like, romantically. I read your journal twice now. And I can’t just not tell you anymore, you mean too much to hide it.”

“You love me?” you asked incredulously.

Sirius nodded softly, squeezing your hand anxiously as he looked up at you. “Do you?”

“Do I?” you asked him.

“Love me back?” he asked. 

You looked at him incredulously, as if the idea was almost impossible. In a sense, it really was. How could you not love him?

“I do.” you whispered. You giggled quietly at his sigh of relief, a sound of surprise coming out of your throat as his lips met yours. They molded together perfectly, like two magnets made just to connect to one another.

You smiled softly, watching him run off with an excited smile before coming back. But then he did it again, running joyful laps around the library to get his excitement out. 

“Does this mean you’ll be my wife?” he asked.

“Maybe not yet,” you chuckled at his dramatics. “But maybe we can start with dating.”

He smiled even brighter at that, continuing his laps before coming back for a kiss. You kissed him like you breathed, it came so easily to you. 

You two eventually broke apart, a large laugh escaping your mouth as he squeezed you into a hug that got tighter by the minute. You weren’t sure anything could hold tighter.

That was until you two got interrupted.

“Pads, what the fuck?” James asked, both of you turning around with small smiles and an embarrassed flush.

“I’ll see you later.” he whispered, giving you a soft peck before running out the opposite direction.

“You won’t be seeing shit tomorrow morning!” James yelled, running after him.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

PHEW this was a LONG ONE let me tell you BUT!!!!!!!! i got it out of my system, i can finally rest and go to bed and sleep and slumber, all of those glory dory things that people do

it's probably not the most realistic sirius depiction out there but i really like the idea of soft sirius okay guys >:( u can pry my boy out of my cold and dead hands when i DECEASE okay, i love soft sirius.

AS ALWAYS, please like, comment, and reblog! it means the absolute world to me yawl dont understand unless u do then u do but anyways HAVE A GOOD DAY LOVELIESSS

[umilily]

Lily i have a kitty for u.....

[ellecdc]

I HAD AN IDEA FOR A REQ BUT I FORGOT IT AND I JUST REMEMBERED AGAIN

okok so shy!reader (similar to r in the poly!marauders + lily fic that i am genuinely obsessedddd with) but with barty and she just gets so flustered and blushy when he’s so loud and outspoken about his affection for her

barty would absolutely accidentally (& lovingly) torment poor shy!reader. thanks for your request! (I'm obviously currently in my Barty-girl era - I deserve jail time ur honour)

Barty Crouch Jr x fem!reader who tries hiding from Barty, much to Remus' chagrin

There were very few places in the castle that Remus could escape to from his nettlesome roommates. Thankfully, his roommates would rather be trampled by a stampede of hippogriffs than spend their precious free time in the library of all places. Unfortunately, Remus was still too easily spotted in his current hideout.

“Rem! Hide me!” He heard you squeak as you came flying around one of the stacks of books; eyes wild like a prey animal looking for their last chance at survival. 

“What?” Remus asked dumbly, but it was no use. 

You let out a cartoonish ‘eep!’ sound and dove underneath the table Remus was currently sat at; your head basically situated in Remus’ lap as you looked up at him desperately. 

“Please.” You practically begged. “You never saw me!”

“Who’s looking for you?” 

Remus' question was answered in the form of a haunting whistling weaving its way casually through the aisles and aisles of books before pausing directly in front of Remus’ chair.

“‘Lo, Junior.” Remus greeted politely, causing the Slytherin boy to narrow his eyes at him.

“Lupin.” He drawled suspiciously. “Aren’t there usually…more of you?”

Remus grimaced as he felt your nervous claws dig painfully into his calf. “Nope.” He replied an octave too high to be considered casual. “Just me.”

Barty simply offered him a disbelieving hum. 

“So, Lupin,” Barty continued, chewing the vowels of Remus’ surname as if it tasted particularly rancid in his mouth. “See anything around here lately?”

Remus hummed as if pretending he was in thought. “No…nope, definitely haven’t seen anyo- anything.”

But it was too late.

“Haven’t seen anyone, hm?” Barty surmised with a wicked grin. “Not even…say…a certain witch who happens to be the object of my affections?”

You dejectedly thumped your forehead against Remus’ knee, hitting the nerve which caused his leg to kick out reflexively, thus pushing you over under the table.

“Merlin’s tits, Lupin, are you having a fit?”

“Oh my sodding Godric.” You finally grumbled from under the table, causing Barty’s face to brighten up astronomically. 

It took you far longer than Remus would have liked to be sitting in the awkward semi-company with Barty to extricate yourself from under the library table, and your efforts were accompanied by an awful lot of painful sounding bumps and cursing before your - albeit rather bedraggled - form materialized beside Remus. 

“There’s my girl.” Barty nearly sighed in relief; a dopey lovesick smile spreading across his face.

“Do you see it too?” You whispered to Remus conspiratorially.

“See what?”

“That look.” You whispered again, causing Remus to snort.

“The look of adoration currently decorating Junior’s face? Yeah, I see it.” 

You scoffed at him. “Barty doesn’t adore me.”

“Says who!?” Barty nearly screeched, causing Remus to look around nervously at the attention the trio was quickly gathering. “I’ll kill them.”

“What?”

“Can I be excused from this conversation?” Remus groaned as he returned to his seat.

Barty quickly agreed at the same moment that you hissed no!

“Listen - my darling angel - though I think you’re really great at just about everything you do, you are absolute pants at hiding.” Barty offered you solemnly as if he were gently giving you quite devastating news.

“Maybe you’re just too good at this finding thing.” You huffed as you crossed your arms; quite petulantly, in Remus’ opinion.

“At finding you?” Barty asked as his face broke out in a Cheshire cat grin. “Always.”

Remus was certain you were going to melt through the floor below you, and - quite frankly - if it got you two away from Remus’ library sanctuary, so be it.