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Mary showing Regulus Dance Moms and then a day later Regulus has a group meeting where he ranks everyone on a pyramid.

Regulus: before we start. Mary is exempt because she helped me come up with the ranking. So on the bottom, is Barty. You stole all my chocolate frogs and then lied about it.

Barty: but-

Regulus: silent. Next, Peter. I don’t trust you. Next. Sirius. Still haven’t forgave you for leaving me with our parents for a year.

Sirius: but I helped you get out.

Regulus: which is why you aren’t last. Finishing off the bottom row, Marlene. Nothing against you love, just don’t know you that well.

Marlene: I’ll take it.

Regulus: third row. Evan. You are a great friend, but you indulge in Barty too much.

Evan: we’re dating.

Rugulus: I know. It bumped you down a few spots. Next. James.

James: we’re dating??

Regulus: and? You made me upset yesterday… and I didn’t want to be biased. Next is Lily. We’re becoming wonderful friends and you’re dating my best friend. Hurt her and you will no longer be present on this pyramid.

Lily: ha!! Beat you James

James: this is rigged.

Regulus: second Row. Dorcas and then Dora. I couldn’t really decide who was better. You’re both my best girls so.. it’s more so tied.

Evan: barty and I are your best mates as well!!

Regulus: they never steal my food and lie to me. Finally. At the top of the pyramid. Is Remus.

Sirius: HOW???

Regulus: he is silent and lets me lay on him while we read. He also lets me rant to him about my stupid brother even though you’re dating. A bery great guy… i might steal him if you and James keep acting up.

Remus: fine by me.

Sirius: HOLD ON

James: WAIT

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the phrase "moon's haunted" rewired my brain the moment it entered my vocabulary never in my life have i encountered a phrase more infectious or fun to use

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So… hear me out.

When you get married, you can just pick a completely new last name.

Reg takes James’ when they get married

Sirius takes Remus’

The Black family line died with their parents.

Barty and Evan?

They show up one day with proud new IDs stating “Bartemius Lupin” and “Evan Lupin” because they thought it was fucking hilarious and they didn’t want their own last names

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i wish ao3 had a shuffle feature for all the fics in my 'saved for later' like pleeeease take the decision out of my hands

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i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space at all times and then i turned off shadows and some other windows effects and it was immediately cured. i just did the same to my roommate's computer and its performance issues were also immediately cured. okay. i guess.

so i guess if you have creaky freezy windows 10/11 try searching "advanced system settings", go to performance settings, and uncheck "show shadows under windows" and anything else you don't want. hope that helps someone else.

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[to the tune of YMCA] mothman, there’s no need to feel down I said mothman,

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If you don’t start taking notes, you’re going to suffer.

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recently when im tempted to say 'i'm gonna kill myself' i try to correct it into saying "im gonna walk into the river and become a trout" or some other form of that. this is my new thing

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It is inherently fun and sexy to say statements that swap the traditional genders of pronouns and terms mid-statement, such as: "I'm going to make him my wife" "She's my boyfriend" "Who says a guy can't be a pretty princess?" "That girl's the coolest dude I've ever met" "She's a madman who has to be stopped" "It's not his fault he's a material girl" Gender is a set of watercolors and the prettiest shades come from mixing the paints together.

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Would u guys still love me if I turn blue

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penis situational

penis metaphorical

wanna know the penis future

ask the penis oracle

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never let being a girl stop you from being a boy

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Guys, let's make a sandwich. I'll start:

Bread

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1 billion notes and i free him