middle aged Daniel Molloy accidentally listening to Fiona Apple's new 1999 album (when the pawn...) because one of his daughters left the disk in the car and he's headbanging to it so hard (why the fuck am I relating to a 20-something alt singer???) it causes his repressed/blocked memories to resurface and suddenly it's nine p.m. and he's still ugly crying in the car (and somehow has previous nonexistent mascara running down his cheeks) considering going all gone girl (note: gone girl had not been written yet) on both Louis and Armand but instead just decides to be a better dad and starts eating dick again (note: he specifically tries to find vampire cock to get dicked down on in the hopes one of those fuckers knows where the fuck his ex-sugar-daddies are and to broadcast his revenge/out-of-the-closet sex marathon right into their narcissistic megalomaniac miserable ass minds)
also, he gets his nipples pierced (then regrets it bc it gets infected quickly and he can't even have sex with them for the next few months)
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Preview
And unfortunately he meant it. He thought, for only a moment, about what he and Lucifer Morningstar could have been. What it would be like to hold him in his arms, cupping his delicate cheek and pulling him into a kiss.
Something he would never get to do.
He would never lay in the same bed as him or see his soul bare in front of the man. Even if Lucifer loved him back. Even if they meant the world to each other.
Eve was his destiny. And Lilith was Lucifer’s.
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
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shout out to my folks with insomnia & depression & delayed sleep phase disorder & sleep apnea & disabilities & other sleep disorders diagnosed, undiagnosed, and just my plain old night owls & night shift workers!! we r so fucking cool & exist every day in a society not made for us at all. and NONE of us are lazy bums or bad people for staying up late & sleeping in till noon or two or whatever whenever you get up!! no matter what anyone says!! you’re incredible and i love you!!!
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
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me when going to bed at a normal time, eating fruits, having less caffeine, not socially isolating and taking silly little walks actually improves my mental health, knowing that i avoided it for years because i didn’t think it would do anything
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Episode 7: Beignets!
I rewatched S2E2 of Helluva Boss ("Seeing Stars") and got hit with that BANGER of a line from Loona about dads having issues and messing up all the time but still caring. VIVZIE, I am sensing a THEMEEEEEEE.
And thank you for all the lovely comments thus far! I'm so tickled to see how many folks connect with this, whether you're from the American South or not. Food is such a core love language for so many people.
SOUTHERN COMFORT FOOD SERIES
Chicken and Waffles
Sweet Tea
Peach Cobbler
Hushpuppies
Crab/Crawfish Boil
Gumbo (plus character notes!)
Beignets part 2
Shrimp and Grits
Cornbread
Biscuits and Gravy
Pecan Pie/Sugar Pie
Fried Catfish
??? - Season 1 Finale
Description under the cut!
[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Radioapple comic
PANEL 1: (Lucifer sits atop a barstool-like chair on his balcony at the hotel. He's curled up in on himself, quietly crying with his head in his arms as he slumps over the marble balustrade and his tail curled around his ankles.)
PANEL 2: (Alastor gently sets a large platter of fresh beignets next to Lucifer's arm, and Lucifer glances up, looking miserable.)
Alastor: (offscreen) You're not a bad father, you know.
PANEL 3: (Alastor strikes a jazz-hands pose as a canned laugh track emanates from his cane.)
Alastor: Granted, YES you did fail spectacularly! You fail A LOT. But...
PANEL 4: (Closeup of the lower half of Lucifer's face as more tears fall down his cheeks.)
Alastor: (offscreen) ...you're consistently, SINCERELY trying. And that is incredibly important.
PANEL 5: (closeup of Alastor's right eye in profile)
Alastor: It's certainly more than my father ever did.
PANEL 6: (Alastor reaches over and places a hand on Lucifer's, which is still clutching at his upper arm. Though we can't see Lucifer's face, he's sitting a little straighter, looking up at Alastor.)
Alastor: (offscreen) Or yours, for that matter.
END DESCRIPTION]
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