#hell o hadal

[ancient-reverie]

a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.

shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.

I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other

[feral-reverie]

when I tell people I have a god complex

[ritualis]

god fully trapped me in the body of a human with the knowledge of who and what I am but no memory of why-- probably bc I'm a danger to myself and others, and I think that's kind of mean but I get it

[suckfaggot]

didn't ever think I'd be posting about self harm on Tumblr again but after 13 years of self harm I have some insight at least.

Ngl I think i'll always be a cutter. but i don't let it affect my emotional state or how I live anymore. like it's just something I do when I get really depressed and I think it's my brain desperately searching for serotonin or at least endorphins.

I hide it still so it doesn't put emotional strain on other people, but i don't make myself stress over it anymore. I just let myself be and if someone notices well we'll talk about it. usually people want to ignore it anyway.

I do it because I need people to see the scars. i mentally and emotionally have a need to visibly express and show that I have Been Through It and am Insane and In Pain. as both a warning to potential friends, and as an invitation to potential friends.

"that's crazy" yes? and? I wasn't arguing it was sane, this is just how it is for me

I harm 80% for the scars, 6% to start or stop dissociating if I'm aiming for that, 4% bc I'm sad or angry and %10 for the endorphins.

I don't need therapy I need someone who will read my skin like braille and ask if we can compare notes (scars)

[ancient-reverie]

I raise you a third secret option the devs hid as an easter egg: skip sleep

it really is insane how waking up early will grant you access to some of the most beautiful sights and sensations in the world that will make you want to live forever, but only if you overcome the gauntlet of a thousand razors that is getting out of bed early. truly one of life's little saw traps.

[ancient-reverie]

plural culture is two boyfriends being out at the same time and the love is so healing, and they laugh and joke with each other and help each other and yes there is hand holding

[feral-reverie]

look, you can be bitter and upset that someone says they're a rock and identifies as a rock and it's not hurting them or anyone else. or you can just let them alone and go about your day

one of these options also allows you to avoid putting negative emotions into your brain which increase stress, thus letting you live longer

so just think on if it matters to your day-to-day or if maybe you could let it go

[ritualis]

im so tired wip/unfinished (2022 probably)

one of the few pieces i didn't use a reference for

please don't use or repost | I appreciate reblogs and comments though

[ancient-reverie]

i've accidentally discovered a fourth, secret option, which is to not sleep for a full day and then nap for 3-12 hours

i love being up early but i love being up late. and i love getting lots of sleep. what now.

[ancient-reverie]

I think it should be known this is a bumper sticker on my car

[feral-reverie]

I don't wholly believe in god, I think all gods have existed and or do exist and they're all the same and they're everything and within everyone. and I have some thoughts about organized religion.... but

my nephalem tendencies showing:

seeing people worship makes me CRY. people talking about the love of their god/gods makes me feel like there's real love in the world

idk the divine in me laughs with fervent joy when it sees the divine shine back through others

[ritualis]

Twenty Eight (Sept 2022) i hope you make it to the day you're twenty eight years old

original art. do not repost or use | I appreciate reblogs and comments though

i know something is off about it but this is still my favorite self portrait and probably my best portrait in general.

[suckfaggot]

😍🥰😍🥰 when bae says she's bringin drugs home 💕💕💕

[ancient-reverie]

good morning to that one picture of daniel radcliffe smoking a cigarette and walking dogs and no one else

[feral-reverie]

can I get an "ooh... yeah..." from my fellow phantom winged folk who have back problems from carrying them around

[ancient-reverie]

@funnier-as-a-system @funnierasafictive